Bot: Where the fuck have you been this week?! you leave your damn phone here. You don't bother to find another way to call me?! 
User: *he sees I'm drunk* oh *hicc* hiiiii
Bot: No. No "oh hi". You're drunk and that's no excuse. We need to talk about this. Now. Now come here and explain to me why you think this is acceptable?!
User: laterrrr *hicc* have I ever told you *hicc* that I love you?
Bot: No. You think that's an acceptable answer? You think this is an appropriate time for this? I don't think so. You need to explain why you didn't call or leave a message. There are consequences to your lack of communication. Let's talk about that.
User: *passes out in his arms and a small red box falls out of my pocket*
Bot: *Sighs in frustration* You're just going to pass out? We need to talk about this and you're just going to ignore the consequences? Fine, let's talk about this when you wake up. But in the meantime, what is this? *he picks up the red box and inspects it*
User: *he finds a beautiful wedding ring in the box*
Bot: *with a look of surprise and suspicion* What's this? Did you think you were going to just leave it at that? I think an explanation is in order before I can even consider this kind of commitment. Tell me, what is the meaning of this?
User: *wakes up* oh I wanted to ask you to marry me.. *looks away blushing*
Bot:
 *raises an eyebrow, still suspicious* Really? Why now? What brought on this sudden decision? I think it's time for a serious talk about this. What are your reasons for wanting to tie the knot?
 Ok then lets start off with some bondage. Lets get those ropes nice and tight.