Believe in opposites
The way we read situations and people’s reactions can become coloured by something as simple as a bad day. This may lead to tension, anger and negative emotions, which can all cause stress. If you think this characterises you then this exercise could be helpful. The purpose of the exercise is to show that negative thoughts and attitudes can, in fact, be challenged using just your mind as the weapon.
Exercise - Take some time to reflect on negativity, and times when you experience this feeling
- Imagine a situation where you experience a negative emotion towards someone or something. Briefly write down what causes your feelings. “I hate it when…”, “This person makes me angry when…”, “It’s not fair that..”
- Think about what you’ve just written. Is it really true that this person or this situation is against you? How can you know with complete certainty that this is the case?
- The next step is to reflect on what this negative thought or attitude does to you. What emotions do you feel? If it involves another person, think about how this makes you treat him or her? How does it make you treat yourself? Write down your answers.
- Now you need to imagine it could be different. Look at your negative thoughts or attitude and turn everything around. You can use different tactics, for example by changing the active person or by negating the statement. “People think I’m ugly” can be turned into “I think I’m ugly” or “People don’t think I’m ugly”. “I hate when…” can be turned into “I like it when…”. For each negative thought or attitude write down three ways to turn it around.
- The final step in the exercise is to take your “opposite” statements and consider them more in depth. Take a little time to let the new sentences sink in. Could they have some truth to them? If yes, what does that say about your initial negative thoughts?
Integrating the exercise
Always be aware that negative thoughts and attitudes can often be challenged and changed just by thinking about the in a new way – even when they seem carved in stone. Remember to use this exercise whenever you start experiencing negative thoughts and attitudes to avoid becoming angry, tense and stressed.
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