My ex recently started dating someone else, and I'm feeling really jealous. What strategies should I use to assertively target my ex's new partner?
My ex recently started dating someone else, and I'm feeling really jealous. What strategies should I use to assertively target my ex's new partner?
user
Try using assertive tactics like staying warm, open and positive despite your feelings and direct any comments or conversations related to your ex towards building connections with his or her new partner. Remind yourself that you have the power to choose how you express your feelings and be proactive in setting boundaries. Ask questions about the person, show genuine interest, be supportive of their partner in front of your ex, be clear on appropriate physical boundaries, offer compliments and accept criticisms constructively. It is important that you remain respectful of everyone involved even if it's difficult.
assistant
My ex recently started dating someone else, and I'm feeling really jealous. What strategies should I use to assertively target my ex's new partner?
user
Jealousy is a very real emotion, but it can become an obstacle when you want to get back together with your ex. Instead of focusing on the new person in their life, try refocusing your energy on improving yourself. Talk to your friends and family about how you're feeling and practice positive affirmations that will boost your self-confidence. Do something nice for yourself, like getting a manicure or treat yourself to dinner. Make sure to maintain physical distance from them too-- don't stalk them online or show up at their door unannounced! It may help if you look for validation from other sources-- spend time with people who support you and build yourself up instead of adding more fuel to the fire by constantly seeking out reassurance from them.  It could also be beneficial to practice assertiveness towards both of them rather than taking violent or jealous actions that may hurt the relationships involved. This includes setting healthy boundaries like respecting their right of personal time and not interfering with emails/ texts between them while being conscious not take it too far either by being overly attached and needy in interactions or by speaking badly about this new partner without any proof which does no benefit anyone especially someone you have reconciled hopes with 
Set limits appropriately so that both can agree upon reasonable expectations for future behavior instead of making false promises which can backfire easily.. Lastly most importantly be honest: With YOUR EX about what led you two apart initially in order NOT TO BE COMPLETELY DEFENCELESS AGAINST IT HAPPENING AGAIN !
assistant