text:
2022: The Year of Birds
Hogmanay nears, as does what can barely be avoided — the annual consolidation, the 'review' as we step over the next threshold.
It's been another year of tumultuous news and events stabbing the air in-house and in close proximity. Health issues have arisen in many, some near and dear, some farther but no less dear to me—several with fatal implications, where time somehow runs faster on the clock. My heart has shattered a few times. Such is the way it goes.
Covid hit my house with a bang. I was pregnant, and the baby, Averey, died inside my womb when I had the worst symptoms. Since our second bout in July, long Covid symptoms have persisted, including with my young children. The year that we hoped to grab some social normality has demanded much push.
One of the many benefits of home educating (not home-schooling) is that the pressure and stress on children not to 'fall behind' on a prescribed curriculum and being 'marked' by 'poor attendance' due to health issues beyond control is absent, avoiding undue pressure on my kids' mental health, to which almost anyone who has been schooled and has health issues can relate. All public services in the U.K., including schools, seem to be on a steep downward slope, faster than ever before. The unrest is palpable. That being said, home educating isn't all skipping through the daisies! Many days have their challenges, and being the literal full-time parent and educator is tiring — and that was before the long-covid fatigue. Still, we get each other through, and the alternative isn't an option.
As always, writing has been a constant. Separate from my creative writing, it's been my introvert-central-management system since childhood. Sketching is too.
Professionally, I have had the pleasure of editing works by some fantastic writers this year — some serious jaw-dropping, inspiring talent. One of the last short stories I edited had me reaching for my inhaler! That author painted a vivid anxiety, paranoia-ridden piece in their protagonist — I felt it all! The subversive angle of the work while playing off the backdrop was skilfully moving. I was in awe. In the massive catalogue of literary genres, the immense skill some horror writers portray is hugely underrated, all due to that simple label 'horror'. You'll find the asthma attack-inducing story in KJK Publishing's The Horror Collection: Sapphire Edition.
This year Ruthann Jagge and I joined forces and created Brazen Folk Horror to share our collaborative works. We have been sharing weekly updates there and have many more ideas for the future. As with this site, readers can subscribe to receive those updates directly in their mailbox. The debut collaborative novel under our exclusive in-house imprint, Delevan House, releases on the 1st of February 2023, and the second book in that series is underway. I've shared before about how I adore working with her. We've each had much to contend with this year. At times, we've both been swimming against a ferocious tide, but we have prevailed and have created something unique from Scottish and Celtic folk inspiration. You better believe my girl and I are indeed Brazen as fuck.
Getting back into academic study has been challenging to make space for, but somehow It's been working out, in sacrifice of sleep! I passed my first module and started my second towards my English Language and Literature degree. The second part has been immensely inspiring. I am enjoying it far more than I anticipated. It's ignited old and new passions for my own language, those that I've been surrounded with and the broader scope of the world. I've been evaluating how this entwines cultural and individual identity. This leg of the course has lit a few fires.
Onto the books published under Clan Witch this year:
Asylum Daughter — my psychological horror novella set in Glasgow, Scotland. I'm proud of how this piece turned out. I loved writing it and got to exorcise the asylum.
The Crash of Verses by Rafik Romdhani — this is Romdhani's second published collection. His poetry is among my favourites of recent years. If you have not read him, pick up this book. He is an exceptionally skilled modern poet.
Incesticide: Collected Horror — my second collection of short horror fiction. It includes nine stories featuring urban folk horror, a touch of splatterpunk and fairytale horror twisted with BDSM, among other assorted flavours for those who enjoy a taste of different things.
Clan Witch: Found Shadows, my collection of free verse poetry and drabbles. This brings together small pieces scattered with other publishers and some never before published poems. Not all truth and not all fiction.
There have been other written pieces published throughout 2022 in the form of short stories, poetry, articles, forewords and copy for other titles.
What about the birds? Birds have been a significant and symbolic component in my year. Before the baby was born, magpies started frequenting my garden. They never had before. In truth, I was never a fan of the species. (Largely due to a childhood memory or a magpie killing sparrow chicks in a neighbour's garden. It was such a brutal attack, not for a meal or anything. It seemed to enjoy causing the suffering and instigating horror in the flock of sparrows screaming at the beautiful beastly creature.) Other corvids, such as their cousin, jackdaws, yes. But never the magpie. Of course, going through pregnancy and loss again, this felt strikingly symbolic. For the longest time, there would be one—a dark omen. One for sorrow… as the months have passed, groups of them now frequent the garden along with the smaller birds, which have their daily routines flying in for a feed and natter. Adopting ex-commercial laying hens scheduled to be slaughtered has been tremendously healing. We brought them home less than two weeks after our loss. Building for them and supporting their transition to domestic retirement felt like a productive and helpful use of grief energy. Then the hens have taken in robins. The birds have been inescapable and have become a significant feature of Delevan House too.
Life and creativity can be inseparable, at least elements of each. Twisting tendrils that reach out to be touched and woven into new patterns.
I am wrapping up, as I didn't intend on doing this kind of update this year! There you have it, a wee mixed-bag summary of 2022. I best be off again, I'm currently hauled up with an unwell small. Her feverish chattering dreams spill out into the dark in a torrent, and I wish, as many parents do — I wish I could soak up the fever and take all the pains away, for always. But life has so much more of that in store. I will have to be content with holding her for as long as I can and as long as she needs.
The darkness is drawing in, approaching the longest of nights, and I wish for what I always do here and the world over, peace.
Natasha )O(
Author Natasha SinclairPosted on 17th December 2022 17th December 2022 Categories Art, Brazen Folk Horror, Delevan House, Drabbles, editorial, Featured, indie writer, New Release, Personal, Poetry, Publishing, Self-Publishing, Short stories, word refinery, Work in ProgressTags blogging, Books, Creative, Creative Writing, dark fiction, Drabble, Drabbles, End of Year, Fiction, Flash fiction, Gothic, Horror, Horror Books, Horror Community, Indie, Indie Horror, Indie Publishing, indie writer, Natasha Sinclair, New Release, Poetry, review, Ruthann Jagge, Scottish, scottish writer, Short stories, Witch, Writer, WritingLeave a comment on 2022: The Year of Birds
A splatterpunk short Story
Content Warning: Contains graphic violence, crass language, swearing, and sex.
An imprefect reading of 'Fuckin' Maggots' by Natasha Sinclair. Originally published by The Evil Cookie Publishing, in their extreme horror anthology, Gorefest. Reprinted in Incesticide: Collected Horror.
Author Natasha SinclairPosted on 8th November 2022 8th November 2022 Categories Short storiesTags Creative Writing, Extreme Horror, female in horror, Flash fiction, Graphic Horror, Horror, Horror short story, Incesticide, Indie, indie writer, Kevin J Kennedy, Metal, Music, Music Inspired, Natasha Sinclair, Ruthann Jagge, Scottish, Scottish Fiction, scottish writer, Sex, Short story collection, splatter, splatterpunk, violence, Women in horror, WritingLeave a comment on Fuckin' Maggots
Talk about curveball 2022! Another year of madness! There were plans. Big beautiful plans! And while those plans still exist, there has been movement because of those unexpected transitions life has her way of throwing. Personally, I've had some family upsets which I predominantly have to deal with and process alone (my partner, of course, has supported as much as one can). I've angered, been frustrated, hurt, grieved, run myself in circles, hurt some more, and accepted. Because sometimes that's all we can do. Accept to find crumbs of peace and carry on. It just takes a little time. It's a process many are familiar with. It's been heavy.
Following the acceptances of a triple-pronged hit, I've another unexpected 'bump', who made himself known in a dream. My kids are excited about another sibling to teach and get up to extra mischief with. Since I have complicated pregnancies, and this one has already given us some wobbles, I'm (again) doing everything within my control to keep this little one inside until late 2022, ideally early 2023. My cervix needs a mantra, and this is the last! The instant physical hit means I've been heavily fatigued, and as of that wasn't enough, I've been hammered with mine and the kids' second bout of Covid of 2022. Because I wasn't wiped enough by the heavy graft underway in my uterus, I am zapped because my lungs are in battle, and my body feels like it's been used as a punchbag.
Moving in from all of that, onto the writing front update:
My novella, Asylum Daughter, released on 8th May 2022.
Redesigned the cover art for Murmur: Collected Horror.
Launched Clan Witch Etsy store for book related merchandise and signed copies.
My short story collection Incesticide: Collected Horror is available for preorder, releasing on 14th December 2022.
My sassy, immensely talented, and inspiring co-author, Ruthann Jagge and I launched our website, BrazenFolkHorror.com, for our upcoming 2022 release, Delevan House and future projects. Ruthann also released her fantastic solo debut novella in January 2022, The New Girls' Patient; if you haven't read her, this is an excellent example of her extraordinary work that should be on any horror fan's reading list.
I've still been editing work for other writers and publishers via Word Refinery and also published poet Rafik Romdhani's collection, The Crash of Verses.
I am working on my degree course too.
The latest developments has zapped my study schedule. I hope to recover enough to make up for that soon. Deadlines are looming! Anthology wise, unlike in the previous two years, I have not responded to any open calls. My dance card has been packed. I have gratefully received several invite opportunities but unfortunately had to decline several. One that I was able to submit a piece to was with KJK Publishing's The Horror Collection: Nightmare Edition, which has just been released. It's the biggest collection of the twelve-book series and worth picking up for a good flavour of many popular independent horror authors currently putting our new materiel.
More still to come for 2022, and 2023 is also beginning to fill up with a couple of accepted invites, continued work with my brazen co-author in crime and at least one (hopefully two) solo release(s). One of which will be a collection of poetry and drabbles, Clan Witch: Found Shadows.
Author Natasha SinclairPosted on 21st July 2022 21st July 2022 Categories Art, editorial, indie writer, Publishing, Self-Publishing, Short stories, word refinery, Work in ProgressTags Anthology, Art, Asylum Daughter, blog, blogging, Books, Brazen Folk Horror, covid, Creative, Creative Writing, dark fiction, Delevan House, Drabbles, Extreme Horror, Family, Fiction, Folk Horror, Glasgow Horror, Horror, Horror Books, Incesticide, Indie, Indie books, Indie Horror, Indie Publishing, indie writer, KJK Publishing, Life, Murmur Collection Horror, Natasha Sinclair, Natasha Sinclair Horror, New Release, Poetic, Poetry, Pregnancy, Psychological Horror, Ruthann Jagge, Scottish Horror, scottish writer, Short stories, The Horror Collection, The New Girls' Patient, word refinery, Writer Update, Writing, Writing LifeLeave a comment on Mid Year Update
I have a collection, 'Incesticide: Collected Horror', releasing later this year, which borrows an album title (much like my first collection in that hat-tip). I deliberately designed the cover for the upcoming with an indie-artsy feel in homage to its namesake.
'Murmur: Collected Horror' felt a little out of place since that cover didn't reflect the feel to the same extent as the newbie. I decided to redesign the jacket. This is what I do when I procrastinate!
Updates are processing with immediate effect on 'Murmur: Collected Horror'. I have a small stock of paperbacks (I've no hardbacks left) with the original cover. Once they are gone, they are gone! That makes them extremely limited.
Once I check what I have, I'll update on Facebook and on Instagram — if you want one, you can drop me a DM on one of the socials once posted — first come, first served.
Apologies, for the paperbacks I have remaining in stock it will be UK postage only.
Previous eBook cover, 2021 (left), New eBook cover, 2022 (right)
New print cover wrap, 2022, Murmur: Collected Horror
Author Natasha SinclairPosted on 4th April 2022 4th April 2022 Categories Art, Publishing, Self-Publishing, Short storiesTags Artist, Book cover design, Collected Horror, cover art, Fiction, Horror, Indie, Indie Artist, indie writer, murmur, Music fan, Music Inspired, Natasha Sinclair, REM, Scottish, Short storiesLeave a comment on New Cover Art
A revisit to what's on the cards for release and writing this year. First up, is the imminent release of my debut horror novella, Asylum Daughter; this psychological horror hits the shelves on May 8th! The date is significant to the story — I wonder if any of my readers will spot it!
See what one early reviewer had to say about the book over on Erica Robyn Reads.
I was also invited to interview with Candace Nola, mother of Uncomfortably Dark for her 2022 Women in Horror feature. We chat about writing, the horror industry, and I share a little insight about influences of the upcoming release. For those who want to have a gander at the chat, head over to Uncomfortably Dark.
Cover for Natasha Sinclair's 'Asylum Daughter'. Cover art by Don Noble, Rooster Republic Press.
Next up, I'm working on a collaboration with another fierce horror author, my sister from across the pond, the formidable Ruthann Jagge! This is special to me as we have shared many pages within the indie horror scene, and we seem to have similar draws to particular elements! When I read her debut novella, The New Girls' Patient, I could've been blown over by a feather with the striking similarities in some of her delightful, diabolical plotting! Have you read it yet?
Ruthann Jagge, author of 'The New Girls' Patient'. Photo from author's Instagram @ruthannjaggeauthor
Our blend of horror will be a magical one for readers! I would love to share a teaser, but my lips are sealed for the time being — maybe come Summer, I'll spray some of that sweet, irresistible elixir your way. I've got the feeling that when our novel is done, we'll be cooking up something else!
Another compilation of horror shorts will launch later this year. Some stories have been published, and some will be brand new to print! Given my chosen title, Incesticide (yes, the title is a homage to a particular grunge band), I'm aiming for the 14th December release! And, Yes, like the title and cover, the date continues the 'nod' — 30 years since that album of B-sides. I will include at least one short inspired by one of the album tracks — which one would you like to see? Feel free to drop me a message with your vote!
Cover for Natasha Sinclair's 'Incesticide'. Cover art by Natasha Sinclair, 'Clan Witch'.
I am publishing an exquisite poetry collection, written by Rafik Romdhani, The Crash of Verses. The collection is up for preorder now and releases July 22nd! It's no secret that I was reluctant to have this much responsibility for another writer's work, but Rafik is a persuasive wordsmith! And I'm honoured to support another writer in sharing his talent with the world! I've read a couple of his pieces over on my YouTube channel. If you fancy getting a feel for his work (which I encourage you to do!), please hop on over to check those out. And, of course, preorder his book!
Cover wrap for Rafik Romdhani's 'A Crash of Verses'. Designed by Natasha Sinclair, 'Clan Witch'.
I have another collaboration scheduled later in the year, with another force of indie horror energy, this one much closer to home, with KJK Publishing's gaffer, author of Halloween Land (another novella you horror delinquents should read!), Kevin J. Kennedy — more on that when work is underway!
Kevin J. Kennedy, owner of KJK Publishing. Photo from author's Instagram @kevinjkennedyauthor
Author Natasha SinclairPosted on 13th March 2022 21st March 2022 Categories indie writer, New Release, Poetry, Self-Publishing, Short stories, Work in ProgressTags A Crash of Verses, Asylum, Asylum Daughter, Creative Writing, eBooks, Fiction, Grunge Girl, Halloween Land, Horror, Horror Books, Horror Community, Horror Fans, Horror Writer, Indie, Indie Publishing, indie writer, Kevin J Kennedy, KJK Publishing, Natasha Sinclair, Nirvana, Novella, Poetry, Poetry Collection, Rafik Romdhani, Ruthann Jagge, scottish writer, Short stories, The New Girls' Patient, word refinery, WritingLeave a comment on Writing and other such Beasts
This may get heavy…
Bear with me. This will be a bit of a concoction — I am, at this time, rather raw, discombobulated and emotionally disfigured. I am feeling uncomfortably challenged. Feel free to look away from the car crash while you have time.
You staying?
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Admittedly I have not done as much writing as I had hoped by this point in the year. January felt like I was playing catch-up to wrap up a few things from 2021 before my degree course started and I could channel writing energy into larger projects. I have also been heavily working on my novella release — finalising the manuscript(s), getting bonus content nailed, finishing covers, developing marketing materials, contacting reviewers, supplying ARC's and all the other 'back-office' that goes into putting out a quality book. As I've shared before, so much unseen work goes into getting a book into the hands of readers, writing and editing is only a part of the machine. All in all, Asylum Daughter is feeling pretty pleased with herself. I'm proud to share this debut horror novella with readers and delighted with the positive feedback from early readers. It takes the edge of the nerves (a smidgen). And, of course, working with Word Refinery clients on their projects.
As part of February's internationally celebrated 'Women In Horror Month', I was invited to interview with D&T Publishing. You can read the feature here.
I also participated in a panel for a podcast series about 'Hidden Voices in Horror'. The focus of the episode was on Mental Health in Horror. I had some technical hitches (as if my nerves weren't already showing)! But the wonderful and inspiring creator and host was professional and understanding. It didn't hold back the conversation between the host, myself, and the other awesome panellists of independent horror writers who stepped up to the plate. When I can do so, I will share more specific details when this airs and where to access it. I'm not in the position to share much yet. This panel was one in which I was nervous about taking part because of my mental health issues and reservations about talking so publicly about those, but I was keen to be involved because it's a critical discussion that should be far less hidden.
'Mental health' can be a buzz phrase, along with the interlinked 'wellbeing' and other such sentiments. I always worry about the lack of substance behind so-called 'awareness' and 'support'. My experience has proven such reservations to be true. As a writer, mental health issues come up regularly in my fiction and non-fiction work. Honest discussions without shame and judgment do not happen enough to break the discomfort of getting to the nitty-gritty about ill-mental health. I feel a profound responsibility, as a mother too, to strip any stigma from 'real talk'. So here I am going to share some of that with you.
I'm going to 'talk' and feel free if the notion takes you to do the same.
I'm 'coming out'. Emerging from between the lines, out of my shoddy poetic disguise. For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with mental-ill-health — yes, childhood, (very) pre-adolescence. I actively covered it up and felt shame. The shame was most definitely linked to nurture and not nature. However, it has felt like nature in parts of my life due to its early, deep infusion. I like to thank some of that to those good old Christian' values' washed in through family and catholic schooling and, in a small part, my nature to consider things literally, which was misunderstood and shut down my voice from early on. The hypocrisy in those organised religious roots was (and is) blaring. Not the best of foundations. That's my perspective anyway.
I secretly self-harmed (pre-teen — no, it was not cool, and it was not for attention). I hated myself. I had zero self-esteem, I struggled with friendships and social dynamics. I was bullied — inside and outside of the home. Every day was hard. And as a child, when I struggled to sleep, I begged inside my head to whatever' higher power' there may be to let me not wake up. I wanted to cease existing. I felt my existence was a mistake. I longed to die. I was a pre-adolescent child. I was entirely alone in my deep depression. Children often get 'fobbed off', talked down too — how could a child have such complex feelings? This was the '80s and '90s; maybe I should cut parents of that time some slack for that?
On the outside, attitudes towards the complexity of the human experience of all ages may have evolved. But I fear (as a mother) that it is not enough. I left school and home sharp to escape my terrible relationship with my mother, which fed into my ever-dwindling mental health state. I had to escape. I was ridiculed, blamed, threatened, the emotional punchbag. I had no choice but to get a job — any job, and leave. It wasn't until I was in my late teens and had moved out from the parental home that I sought professional support for my ill-mental health (too ashamed to try to deal with it while I was there when I had little privacy. I was desperately suicidal and had planned it down to the finer details when I sought that help.
It was rough.
I didn't want to take drugs.
I didn't want to 'talk' to a therapist (I'm not one of those Americans on TV?!) I'm British, even harsher – Scottish! We don't talk about those things.
I didn't want to admit my shame.
My weaknesses.
I didn't want to be seen.
I was desperate.
In short, and let's be honest, these things are never short in 'real conversation' terms — I have Major Depressive Disorder. I've also struggled with Post Natal Depression (much later than one would expect) and interlinked Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Of course, mothers who have a history of depression are more at risk of PND. That's another thing with mental health. Women are often not heard — 'hormones' takes much of blame, which does little to support solutions — for many folk with mental health problems beyond that. My lifelong depression has undeniably manifested in physical ways; insomnia, chronic headaches, chronic pain, chronic tiredness, anxiety and panic attacks (which can be separate — being in many ways depression's opposite) and nausea. Depression does that; it's an all-consuming beast.
Solutions?
I've gone through therapies, tried different medication regimes, mindfulness techniques. I've written and utilised art and nature as my therapies for as far back as I could pick up a pencil and make shapes with it and walk on my own two feet. I'm insanely self-aware. I will never be without this illness; I have accepted that and understand when a spiral is snaking in and darkening my days. I've been spiralling lately, though it's easy for me to pinpoint the whys on this one — when triggers are circumstantial, it's easy. I have coping mechanisms in place — boundaries where they need to be for my survival. I know what helps (sometimes) and (with certainty) what doesn't. I still struggle. I still require prescription medication. Depression and 'recovery' is a selfish illness in many ways. Another thing that brought me 'shame' — I was never 'allowed' to be 'selfish'.
This is still uncomfortable.
Is it the same for you?
So, I'm a writer, and such related posts are the prime focus in this space — why am I droning on about my mental health here?
Well, I was inspired by the candidness of my fellow writers in the horror community (which is bloody fantastic) on the podcast recorded recently. And I'll share a little of how the subject links with some of my published work. A debatable move, and trust me, I am an over-thinker of everything. To compartmentalise or not? Eeeeek! To try to maintain a 'brand image' or be authentic and real?
Well, fuck it — this is straight-up raw, and you chose to keep reading.
The first book that I published in 2018, my mental health was a dominant feature during a specific window of time when one of my daughters was born and fighting to live in neonatal intensive care.
That experience taught me more than I ever imagined. It taught me how resilient and strong I am, through family estrangement on top of baby loss and having one (then another) in NICU and going through isolation and a troubled, strained relationship. I also (alone) dealt with the loss of my grandmother. I love her deeply and couldn't physically be with her due to my circumstances, having a baby in another hospital. Winter has been heavy for so many years now.
So many highly underestimate the HSP; I, like many, am very thick-skinned. Sensitivity is not necessarily weakness — a common misconception. Nor is my boundaries a 'cold heart'. My heart is guarded for my protection. The cold reputation couldn't be further from the truth.
I learned that to be the best mother to my children, I had to respect my boundaries (finally) and provide an example to them as they grow. Part of parenting is sorting out your own shit so you can be right for them. Brushing real stuff under the rug wasn't a path that I was willing to fall in line with — not good enough for my children.
My honesty, protecting my boundaries has alienated me from the majority of my family. How dare I right?
Trust me when I say my decisions as far as my family go were the last line when all else had been exhausted. Nothing was changing. I had no choice but to draw my last line of defence.
Mental health isn't recognised as a thing — I wasn't physically abused, unlike some, so it was all rosy as far as some saw. Emotional abuse is entirely dismissible. I imagined if someone treated my children as I had been. Suppose they had gone through snippets of it. If they had felt as hopeless, unsupported, unloved. No, it's not good enough. It's not easy being the one to break the cycle, but when my priorities were lined up — it was a quick, decisive cut. My inner child needed my support to protect my own brood.
I'm mostly at peace with that, the alienation — being the 'bad egg'. I've had to be. I know I've been the subject of gossip. There's no love lost in that. I'm happy about the dilution of that blood. Opinions based on little to zero facts are meaningless idle static.
My skin has thickened, and that is no bad thing. It's survival. Responsive to experience.
Back to that book, One Step Forward, Two Steps Back — a condensed, diluted snapshot of my reality in my early motherhood. I shared it for my children and in camaraderie with other families struggling through that particular trauma — a little to take the edge off the isolation, perhaps for someone who may read it when going through or reflecting on their NICU journey.
The reception of that book was interesting — predominately supportive. I was inundated with messages of support, many from the staff we had been supported by in the unit. However, the flip side was a few nasty reviews, several who hadn't read the book but jumped on the attack bandwagon to try to discredit me and 'defend' what they viewed as an attack on the nursing staff. You spend every day for 106 days in a ward — trust me, mistakes and lapses in care are made. NHS staff are human and make mistakes. My grandmother's death mentioned earlier was also the victim of such a mistake. My baby, like many other people and loved ones, are on the other side of mistakes and oversights. I was expected to overlook these and paint a rose-tinted picture since my child survived. Gratitude only. My honesty doesn't negate my gratitude for those that did their work well and saved the lives of my children. To not mention (some) of the bad would've been disingenuous to the book and painting that honest view as a NICU parent. The irony of direct attacks (on a mother who had gone through trauma) by care professionals didn't go unnoticed. This is a reality that I've faced in person when I've opened up about my mental health struggles — and trust me; it's been rare that I talk about this thing that is embedded into me, my everyday war. My demon.
The second book was fiction, published later that year; a trio of short stories all with the central theme of one character's suicide; A Life of Suicides. Fiction, yes. But it's not gratuitous, exploitative or designed to shock. No, I will admit here, publicly to you despite my deep discomfort. I have sat on that rock, stood on the windowsill, waded into the loch to my knees. I've played out those suicides and many more of 'my own' in graphic detail. I've done it all but the execution.
I am a survivor of suicide — a survivor of myself. In many ways, 'Rebecca' is me. I admit it, and I am not ashamed. The subject of suicide is another riddled with shame and ignorant judgement. I've heard it all — it's for the 'weak', it's the 'easy way out', a 'sin', it's a 'coward's way' — is it?
Try it?
It is no coward's way. Nor is it the easy way out or any other ignorant sentiment. Something that cut a little deeper than it should was some reactionary comments from 'friends' who couldn't read such a piece because it would be too uncomfortable, too 'triggering'. Honestly, being so intimate, this was akin to "You can talk to me" then being shut down cold if ever attempted. Talk, but not about that!
This struck me again as to how ill-equipped many are to genuinely support someone who is deeply depressed or/and suicidal. It's easy to say 'reach out', 'I'm here for you', 'you can talk to me', until someone does… again, I know this from experience.
A number of my short stories have been published since then. I enjoy the freedom of frolicking in the horror field. Not all of my work is steeped in these notes, but there are crumbs here and there, no doubt. Writers so that we scatter pieces of ourselves — blood spills into each story, even the more extreme, fantastical and unlikely of places, sometimes just a light aroma, but it's there.
Moving on again to Asylum Daughter. The novella — the events, the characters, the entire story is fiction. But themes sprinkled through this horror are strong elements of mental health, stigmatism, abuse, matriarchal control, and corruption.
True horror has nothing to do with gratuity and shock value. True horror is born of reality.
It's March now, and I have some serious writing to do with a vivacious and magical red-headed horror queen. More blood to be spilt, and I have a phenomenal accomplice. And academic assignments to tackle — it turns out that I still love essay writing after all these years. They excite me.
I'm spiralling, but I recognise it, and I'm clinging on for dear life instead of planning my death today. I have to be strong for my family. They need me. And I realise that I have to be strong for myself too, even when I don't always like her and it feels too selfish — mental health matters.
If you read this all the way… what is wrong with you?
No, I actually mean — thank you.
— The misunderstood, depressed, arty type. Such a cliche! The Clan Witch.
Author Natasha SinclairPosted on 3rd March 2022 10th May 2022 Categories indie writer, New Release, NICU, Short storiesTags Art therapy, coming out, depressed writer, Depression, estrangement, Family, hirt, indie writer, Isolation, mental health matters, mental health talk, NICU, pain, pnd mdd, podcats, PTSD, real talk, self-help, srigma, suicidal, suicide, tabboo, taboo of mental health, Therapy, truth time, Writer1 Comment on Mental Health and Writing
Playing with another platform
I've considered doing some reading videos for a while now but only recently began sharing a few online. So far, I have shared a handful of poetry and short stories over on YouTube. Only one is a reading of one of my pieces. The rest are shares of other writers work that I enjoy.
All are welcome to drop by, subscribe, share. Open to requests too, if you have a piece you'd like me to read, drop me a DM. I can't guarantee I'll do it or when, but I'll be in touch nonetheless.
Author Natasha SinclairPosted on 23rd December 2021 27th December 2021 Categories Andrew Taylor, indie writer, Poetry, Publishing, Short stories, UncategorizedTags Clan-Witch, Horror, Indie, Live Readings, Natasha Sinclair, Poetry, Scottish, YouTubeLeave a comment on YouTube Readings
My collection Murmur: Collected Horror is price dropped to just 0.99!
It can be picked up from Smashwords at that price between now and December 10th!
I enjoyed writing each of the stories in this book. Each piece is followed by a few words about how it came to be. If you pick it up, I hope it brings you some entertainment!
Thank! )o(
Author Natasha SinclairPosted on 5th December 2021 5th December 2021 Categories Self-Publishing, Short storiesTags bargain books, book deal, book deals, book sale, cheap books, december books, discount books, discount code, Freelance Writer, Horror, Horror Fiction, Horror Short Stories, Indie books, Indie Horror, indie writer, murmur, Natasha Sinclair, review, Scottish Horror, scottish writer, Smashwords, Support IndieLeave a comment on Flash Sale
With a fantastic tracklist of authors, we are gunning for Christmas #1 with KJK Publishing's The Best of Indie Horror: Christmas Edition.
The final release from KJK in 2021 is out now and is available in eBook, paperback and hardback editions. It is the perfect read for fans of short horror fiction for the festive season, with a fantastic mix of holiday-themed indie horror from some of the best word weavers on the scene.
The book has been received well by readers and reviewers so far — a huge thanks to each and every one of you who have supported the new release from the indie horror community! If you haven't picked it up yet — when you do, we hope you love the stories selected to inject a bit of horror into your holidays!
From the back of the book;
There's no better way to celebrate the end of the year than with a seasonal mixtape with The Best of Indie Horror: Christmas Edition! Whether you love it or loathe it, Christmas brings out the best and worst in many people the world over — thus, lighting a fire in the bellies of storytellers who wish to strike warm fuzzies or tantalising terror in reader's hearts. You won't find the warm fuzzy feeling here; that's not what we do!
This anthology will dance readers through an array of styles and horror sub-genres, including bizzaro through the looking glass of unique Christmas ornaments; such treats always come with a price. Discover the dark secrets between the Claus' and Krampus that you'll never forget. There's a touch of sci-fi when a lone worker discovers a hidden department in a derelict store. There are family horror tales of obsessive tradition, reunion, and mayhem. This edition promises something festive to satisfy a cornucopia of horror pallets.
In this invite-only anthology, KJK Publishing presents 11 new tales of frightful festive horror shenanigans from: Matthew V. Brockmeyer, Eric Butler, Matthew A. Clarke, David Owain Hughes, Lex H Jones, Kevin J. Kennedy, Zoltán Komor, Patrick Reuman, RJ Roles, Veronica Smith and Steve Stred.
Don't forget the milk and cookies, and be good kids — someone is always watching. Those damn elves are not to be trusted!
Author Natasha SinclairPosted on 26th November 2021 26th November 2021 Categories editorial, Short storiesTags Amazon, Amazon Books, Anthology, christmas books, christmas horror, David Owain Hughes, eBooks, eric butler, freelance editor, freelancer, Horror Anthology, Horror Books, Indie books, indie editor, Indie Horror, Indie Publishing, Kevin J. Kennedy, Kindle Unlimited, KJK Publishing, krampus, matt clarke, Matthew A. Clarke, matthew v brockmeyer, Natasha Sinclair, New book, New Release, review indie books, RJ Roles, scottish publisher, Short stories, Short story collection, Steve Stred, veronica smith, word refinery, xmas, xmas books, zoltan komorLeave a comment on The Best of Indie Horror: Christmas Edition
Twisted Legends: Crimson Pinnacle Press
When propositioned to create a story based around an urban legend, I was keen to offer a Scottish framed piece for consideration to this popular anthology theme. With an abundance of folk tales around Scotland and its many isles to inspire, I decided to dip into what I'm more intimately aquatinted — Glasgow. The central belt is brimming with inspiration. Three urban legends immediately sprung to mind. However, when I began drafting a story, I hopped, unfocused between tales and my first attempt got pinned as I had a stronger pull towards another.
Children playing in Glasgow's Southern Necropolis. Circa early 1950's
Much can spiral from classroom whispers and the imagination and zest of children. The inspiring legend of The Gorbals Vampire (or Ir'n Jenni), which spawned hysteria, climaxing in September 1954, and Alexander Anderson's poem, Jenny wi' the Airn Teeth, led the way for my creation. The Gorbals Vampire incident brought much debate about censorship of literary material (from poetry in the classroom to imported American comics) to impressionable children, and the Children and Young Persons (Harmful Publications) Act 1955 was passed through the House of Commons. Censorship is an area that is still very much debated today through the arts, worldwide — and not just with children in mind — this deepened my draw to this particular event.
Sunday Mail article 26th September 1954
My story, City of the Dead, was created as a nod to the notorious child vampire hunt of 1954 in Glasgow's Southern Necropolis and Alexander Anderson's poem from 1870. I love a good cemetery setting (typical goth, I know), so taking on The Southern Necropolis — which is home to over 250,000 buried souls was a lot of fun. I enjoyed writing this one. It's always satisfying to weave regional dialect through a piece — bringing authenticity to the characters and reverence to the urban legend's roots.
I won't share spoilers beyond the base inspiration for my own story, as City of the Dead was submitted and subsequently accepted by Crimson Pinnacle Press for their Twisted Legends anthology!
The book received a high volume of submissions of twisted takes on urban legends from around the globe. The editors chose the top 13 offerings, and I am thrilled to have made the cut, alongside; Thomas R Clark, Lance Dale, Lance Harkers, Stephen Johnson, Ruthann Jagge, Jae Mazer, Jason Myers, Pamela A. Parish, Chris Puzak, RJ Roles, Vic Kerry, and Robb T. White.
Graphic created by Lance Dale.
Having been published in Crimson Pinnacle Press' (invite only) inaugural anthology, Fairy Tale Horrorshow, I am ecstatic to be accepted into their pages once again! The duo who run the press, RJ Roles and Jason Myers, certainly have the eye for unique, quality indie horror, I promise you that! You'll have to pick that up to read my take on this urban legend from Scotland and the 12 other twisted legends, launching October 25th. The eBook pre-order is live.
In addition, if you'd like to listen to me reading Anderson's poem the video is below.
Author Natasha SinclairPosted on 18th September 2021 2nd October 2021 Categories Featured, Short storiesTags British horror, Chris Puzak, Crimson Pinnacle Press, Fairy tale horrorshow, Fiction, Folk Horror, Folk tales, Horror, Horror fan, Horror Legends, horror reader, Indie, Indie Author, Indie Horror, Indie Press, indie writer, Jared Vickery, Jason Myers, Jer Mazer, Lance Dale, Mark Mackey, Natasha Sinclair, Pamela A Parish, Poetry, RJ Roles, Robert White, Scottish, Scottish Author, Scottish Horror, scottish writer, short horror, Short stories, small press, Stephen Johnson, Thomas R Clark, Twisted Legends, Urban Legends, WritingLeave a comment on City of the Dead


Staunton, January 26 – Many Russians are so pleased with the decline of American power that they have failed to notice the most important consequence of this: Russia will be in a far worse position strategically and psychologically in a China-led world than it has been in a US-led one, according to Lilya Shevtsova.
"For the three decades after the fall of the USSR," the Russian commentator based at London's Chatham House says, "Russia retained its power by inertia and the recognition of the world community, even though, except for history, geography, and the nuclear button, we have no justification for this" (echo.msk.ru/blog/shevtsova/2357937-echo/).
According to Shevtsova, "the West, not knowing how to deal with Russia and fearing that it would be offended agreed to play along," implicitly recognizing a Russian sphere of influence in the post-Soviet space and agreeing that there was a special relationship between the two largest nuclear power, the US and Russia.
That is both unexpected and offensive, as "the most pro-Kremlin US president ever is burying our notion of state power," Shevtsova says.
Russia might have been able to tolerate this given its displays of power in Syria and Venezuela if it weren't for the rise of China which "not only if filling the sphere of influence of Russia in Central Asia but is beginning to push out America as well" and if Washington and Beijing weren't dancing a power tango for which there is no place for Russia.
But there is something even more serious for Russia to contend with, Shevtsova suggests: China has a very different model of world leadership than the one Russia has been used to with the US. Beijing promotes itself economically and makes itself attractive to others rather than relying on force to get its way.
China wants in this way "to force the world voluntarily to accept the Chinese rules of the game." It is becoming the dominant player in high technology, and this is a world that Russia is absolutely incapable of competing in, unlike one in which force alone is still useful as a means of asserting primacy.
That is not to say that China is not developing military power. It is rearming at a rapid rate. By 2023, its military budget will exceed 300 billion US dollars. Even now it is spending 152 billion US dollars, compared to Russia's 46 billion. And it is not just spending more but developing new weapons systems as well.
Russia is entering "a new world," one in which it will be nostalgic for American supremacy because "in the new world, Anglo-Saxon politeness and concessions won't be a feature. There will be a harshness which we have not yet experienced." And Russia will suffer losses of all kinds as China establishes its leadership in ways Russia can't counter.
Moscow can continue to threaten the world with destruction but this will change little if "for us there is no place in the train of world progress." Russia is used to contending with opposition, Shevtsova says; but it has no recent experience of being ignored and treated as less than a dominant power.


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Meet André Wilmes
Learn more about André Wilmes, Alumnus, Class of 2007
Class of (or years attended): Class of 2007, (Grades 10-12)
I commute across several European cities regularly, at least pre-Covid I did, predominantly London, Munich and Luxembourg. Nowadays, I am back in Luxembourg.
After ISL, I went straight to Imperial College in London for university studies.
What did you study at University?
I did a Masters in Engineering and a PhD in Aeronautical Engineering at Imperial College London.
After my studies and research time at university, and some time spent in industry, I have taken the leap to be founder & CEO of a start-up in simulation and optimization mathematics for engineering. At Rafinex, we work on latest optimization methods for the design of next-generation e-mobility car platforms, electric airplanes and urban air taxis.
ISL was pivotal in growing my ambition, horizon and supporting accessing the university trajectory I pursued. The early support for finding and defining a course of interest to the help with UCAS and interview preparations was invaluable. On the technical content side, the open and creative approach to science teachings, enabling us to experiment with blank-sheet experimental lab setups fostered an investigative and creative research mindset that I benefited from until today, but particularly during my studies and research years.
In addition to the above-mentioned mindset and technical curiosity, ISL equipped me with good communication and public speaking skills which have ever since come in handy, be it from talks at academic conferences and research institutes worldwide to nowadays public speaking at start-up and industry tradeshows.
Take fullest advantages of the resources and the supporting people around you to aim high. Be bold, work hard, play hard and have good fun along the way. ISL offers abundant potential of opportunity, find your goal and leverage this potential.
I wasn't involved in any society or after-school clubs as I was busy with my equestrian activities. However, those around me in sports or humanities were very much enjoying the diverse offerings and the travel opportunities that came with them. For myself, I did participate in several mathematics competitions for ISL.
Describe some of the things that ISL does above and beyond teaching and learning:
The support from teachers and fellow students in creating a positive and supportive learning environment were and remain a gold standard in my experiences of different educational systems. I was only ever supported and had doors opened for me when I asked for it. Hence, it doesn't come as a surprise that I do remain in touch with some of my former teachers to date, even meeting them in far locations such as Singapore when my PhD research took me there.
How did your time at ISL help shape you as a person?
It made me more ambitious and more at ease about pursuing dreams and being comfortable with succeeding in them. It takes a certain courage to speak up, be stubborn and persevere.
What do you think is unique about ISL?
The positive learning atmosphere where achievements were encouraged.
Describe ISL in 5 words: My launchpad to the world.
P.S. I was on a full scholarship ride – so very many thanks for that. Please pass on my regards to Ms. Crush.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


TAOISEACH Enda Kenny exhorted Yes campaigners in Laois-Offaly to carry the message for a Yes vote right up until Thursday, and to not let up in the final days of the campaign.
Speaking in Portlaoise last Friday evening, the Taoiseach underlined the importance of the referendum. "This campaign will clearly narrow in the last week as these things always do, and that's why it is even more important that for the job creation facilities and projections that we are on here, that people go out and cast their own vote.
"It is the most important referendum for many years. It is not about the Fine Gael party or any other party. It is for the Irish people and our country. This Yes vote is the most important thing that our voters, our electorate, will do for a very long time," he stated.
"Don't let up on this. This won't be alright on the day unless you go out and put your X on the box that says Yes.
Mr Kenny told supporters the choice was simple. "No creates confusion, uncertainty, lack of clarity and indecisiveness, not good for investment, No rules out access to funds for the country if we needed them. We simply cannot afford to leave that insurance policy in the dark.
Mr Kenny did a walkabout of the Laois Shopping Centre. He was heckled by placard wielding No campaigners at various stages.


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Suite 703, 37 Pitt St, Sydney NSW 2000
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May 2018 Client Alert Newsletter
ATO closely examines work-related car expenses
The ATO is concerned about taxpayers making mistakes or deliberately lodging false claims for work-related car expenses, and has announced it will be closely examining claims for these expenses in 2018 tax returns. Last year, around 3.75 million people made a work-related car expense claim, totalling about $8.8 billion.
Vidal O'Brien & Co.
Established in 1936, we have offices in Sydney's CBD and Mona Vale on the Northern Beaches of Sydney.
May 2018 Client Alert Newsletter May 1, 2018
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Jules Coté, 78, of Essex passed away on Monday, Nov. 17, 2014, at the Vermont Respite House in Williston. He was born Sept.10, 1936 in Asbestos, Quebec, son of Raoul and Marie-Anna Coté. Jules graduated from Dartmouth College in 1960, and Boston University with a Masters Degree in 1965. Jules became a Lion in 1966, and was a Past International Director of Lions Clubs International. He was formerly Associate Director of Helen Keller National Center for Deaf-Blind Youth and Adults, and retired as Executive Director of the Vermont Association for the Blind and Visually Impaired in 2000. In recognition of his service to his community and career, he received numerous honors and awards, including the Ambassador of Goodwill Medal, the highest honor Lions Clubs International grants its members, and was a multi-level Progressive Melvin Jones Fellow. Jules believed in service, and loved spending time with his family and friends. He loved travel, audio books, playing piano, gardening, playing card games, camping, all things maple, and never passed up a dessert. He is survived by his wife Jacqueline; son Marc and Michelle Coté of Delaware; daughter Carmelle and John Terborgh of Essex Junction; grandchildren Emma, Hannah and Christian Coté, Bryce and Graham Terborgh; brothers and sisters. A Mass, followed by a memorial gathering in the Parish Hall, will be held at Holy Family Church, 36 Lincoln St., Essex Jct., (802) 878-5331 on Saturday, Nov.29, 2014 at 12:30pm. Interment will be at the convenience of the family at a later date. In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations be made to: Lions Clubs International Foundation (LCIF), www.lcif.org/EN/ways-to-give/lion-memory-honor-donation.php (you may select non-member), or Vermont Respite House, www.vnacares.org/donate/remembering-honoring-loved-ones (to support the VRH). A full obituary may be viewed at www.awrfh.com.
Elaine Sharon Dates, wife of Stephen B. Dates, was born on March 1, 1942, in Hartford, Conn. She graduated from Burlington High School in 1960 and the University of Vermont with a BA in Classics in 1964. She went on to earn her Masters in Latin from Wayne State University and a Masters in Italian from Middlebury College and the University of Florence. Elaine and Stephen were married on Feb. 19, 1983, in Burlington's First Congregational Church. They spent the next 31 years as a couple who shared all of their activities. Elaine appreciated lifelong learning and in retirement continued her education by activities with the Burlington Garden Club, Federated Garden Clubs of Vermont, New England Region Garden Clubs, and the National Garden Clubs. Upon completion of four years of schooling she became a National Garden Club Accredited Judge. She has won numerous awards in flower arranging in NGC Flower Shows including the Boston Flower Show and the Philadelphia Flower Show. Elaine was President of the Burlington Garden Club, as well as the President of the Federated Garden Clubs of Vermont, and is a Master Gardener. During her teaching career she was a member of many professional boards such as the Vermont Classical Language Association, Vermont Foreign Languages Association, Classical Association of New England, Northeast Conference of Foreign Languages, and the American Classical League where she served in various capacities. Elaine taught Latin for 34 years in Vermont and Michigan, and enjoyed many awards such as the University of Vermont's Outstanding Teacher Award, member of "Who's Who," the American Association of University Women's Vermont Teacher of the Year Award, Yearbook Dedications, and recipient of a Rockefeller Fellowship to study Etruscan Art in Italy. She also studied at The American Academy in Rome, as well as with The Vergilian Society in Turkey, Cyprus, and Italy. Every other year, Elaine and Stephen would lead members of her Latin Club on a two week study trip to Italy, visiting Rome, Florence and Venice, with excursions to Pompeii and Pisa. Elaine was a member of the First Congregational Church in Burlington. She enjoyed volunteering for the Pierson Library in Shelburne, where they made their home for 21 years. In addition, she did volunteer work for The Fleming Museum by taking art lessons for children to various libraries around the state. She also served as a Trustee on various Boards including the Pierson Library and the South Burlington Library. Elaine has three stepchildren, Carrie Hopkins and husband, Brant, Liza Dates, and Stephen M. Dates; and five grand-children, Eric and Nathan Roy, Alyssa Garcia, Andi and Moses Dates. Services will be held on Monday, Dec. 1, 2014, at 10am at the First Congregational Church in Burlington, followed by a celebration of her life immediately following at the church.
Erica Beckh Rubenstein died on Nov. 20, 2014, five days before her 100th birthday. Her daughter, Emily Morrow, her son, Daniel, and his wife were with her, and witnessed the mystery of her death. In September 2014, many of her family and friends gathered to celebrate her life, a life rich in relationships and meaning. In the last decade, Erica had lost aspects of memory but retained her wisdom and insight. Erica was born in Bristol, England, and, at the age of 12, moved to the U.S. where her father, a Unitarian minister, lectured at the Labor Temple in NYC. She graduated with a degree in Art History from Vassar College in 1937. She went on to complete a master's degree and PhD in Art History from Radcliffe College in 1942 and 1944. In 1942, Erica married Lewis Rubenstein and she became an active partner in his creative life as an artist. They made their life in Poughkeepsie, N.Y., where Lewis taught studio art at Vassar College. Lewis' art can be viewed at www.lewisrubensteinartist.com. In 1992, Erica, ever pragmatic, urged Lewis to accept the fact that they were ageing. They moved to Wake Robin, a life-care community, and became part of that supportive, caring community. Erica was predeceased by Lewis and over the last 11 years, she said how much she missed his gentle presence and companionship. She is survived by her son, Daniel (Nancy); her daughter, Emily Morrow (Paul); her grandchildren, Ari (Sarah), Beth (Michael), Josh (Siobhan) and Lillian Morrow (fiance, Mark Howden); and eight grandchildren, Zoe, Sacha, Eli, Ana, Yemaya, Alder, Ronan, and Bronwen. Years ago, Erica said she would describe herself as a catalyst. During her student years at Radcliffe, she joined other students in persuading the university to accept and fund Jewish refugees on student visas during the Nazi era. Other colleges joined in the movement to save Jewish scholars. Many lives were saved. During the Vietnam War, Erica organized a draft counselling service in Dutchess County and through her efforts, many more lives were changed. Erica's spirit will continue to be a catalyst for social justice. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that you voice your commitment to social justice, equality and fairness, or make a donation to the American Friends Service Committee. The family wish to express their deep gratitude to Kay Greene, Erica's caregiver and friend, the staff and residents at Wake Robin, the VNA nurses and Noyana singers, and Rev. Roddy Cleary.


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Dealing with issues from divorce to child support, child custody to modifications, the Stewart Law Office will be with you every step of the way making sure you are adequately informed throughout the process. Whatever your needs, we will make every effort to make sure they are met to the best of our abilities.
When we approach a family law matter for a client, we take care to understand their particular situation to get a clear picture of how we can help. We are experienced in negotiation, as well as litigation, and will strive to help you reach a resolution with the least amount of time, hassle and expense possible. When you trust your family law case to the Stewart Law Office, you can rest assured that we will do everything in our power to protect your family's future wellbeing.
You will find that the Stewart Law Office not only knows the law, but knows people.
With a thorough knowledge of contested and uncontested cases, I will help you move quickly through this difficult time and will provide aggressive representation to ensure your case is completed in an economical and timely manner.
The most important aspect of a divorce is determining child custody and establishing a healthy and agreeable schedule for parenting time. When children are involved in a divorce or separation, it is urgent that their future be considered above all else and both parents are provided sufficient quality time with their children. I will work tirelessly to ensure you are provided the time you deserve with your children.
During divorce, money is always a large factor and determining alimony is one of the most difficult legal aspect of a divorce. With so many factors, alimony proceedings require quality representation and the ability to apply reason and negotiation. Unlike custody, alimony is not determined by state regulations and can be very difficult for spouses to agree on.
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If you'd like to sit down and discuss your case, I am available for a free 30 minute consultation. To schedule an appointment, please click on the link below.


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Benny Charles –…
Benny Charles – Rhythm, Blues, & Gospel – A Story Of Love, Hope, & Faith
Benny Charles – Rhythm, Blues, & Gospel – A Story Of Love, Hope, & Faith – Album Review
Now that's the way to open a record! Especially when we're talking about the faith-based music-scene – we're all kind of conditioned to expect an acoustic guitar to come out with some variation on the same old hymns we've heard for years…but this…this is immediately different and establishes an instant interest. From the brilliant spoken-word combo & cleverly subtle electro-beat on "Intro (The Beginning)" to the tight production & overall sound…you can tell that Rhythm, Blues, & Gospel – A Story Of Love, Hope, & Faith is going to be a unique experience, especially on the inside of this particular genre. I keep on saying that faith-based music really needs a champion out there – and we've found some great candidates along the way throughout this very year in fact…seems like Benny Charles would be another excellent name to add to that growing list. Dude's put together a highly-collaborative and wildly imaginative record here – and that journey springs to life through "Intro (The Beginning)."
I'll say this definitively…I'm not even fully sure that the second tune "Blessed" worked 100% – but I can tell you without hesitation that if the music is going to be this continually unique, I'm definitely in. As many times as I checked this song out, I still honestly couldn't tell you how the people would respond to it. I have the suspicion that the inspired performance from featured guest vocalist Frannie El is probably more than enough to entice people into listening to this tune…it's bright, cheery, grateful…all good things happening on the mic. I'd challenge that there's just as much great things happening in the extremely innovative beat created here by Benny…but yeah…I'm honestly not quite sure how other people would hear it. The way it echoes doesn't exactly cause complications, but it does give the track a complexity that might be tougher for the average listener to wrap their minds around. All that being said, I'm confident that the uplifting spirit in both the sounds chosen & on the mic will have people listening…it's not a typical cut by any stretch – but for some people, myself included, that's enticing.
Benny Charles my friend…you are apparently spoiled for choice when it comes to the talent you're finding on the microphone! Right from the drop on "Don't Forget About Me" you can tell that guest star Esraelia Mack is gonna bring her A-game to this track and she puts in a solidly confident & stylistic performance. Definitely heading more into the Electro/R&B-vibe on this cut – I'm a huge fan of the layering techniques and editing on "Don't Forget About Me" – as far as ideas in the music go, this is pretty wild stuff. There's a couple spots on this track that probably push the threshold of the limitations of people's speakers out there…some of those hi-hat combinations come through pretty hot when it comes to the mix and could likely be dialed-back about 50% and still be just as effective. Unless like, you know, the intention is to have the hi-hats be the feature star of the show, in which case, rock on I suppose. I have the feeling that's probably not the intention though…and some of those hits will come through strong enough to make you squint your eyes for a second or two as they burst through the mix. Other than that, I dig it…I think Esraelia does a great job in the first of her three appearances, I like the ideas overall, and the hypnotic vibe that runs through the main hooks and chorus are highly effective.
All these songs end up being really interesting to listen to due to their anti-typical structures and ideas. Like if you would have explained on paper what was about to go down on "Haven" featuring Olivia Cipriani, I'd probably have looked at it and said it's not gonna work. Listening to it – I think that it does – I think there's a whole bunch of barriers up against a song like this, but I think it does end up working. Individually, I have zero complaints about either of the main elements in "Haven" – when it comes to the music, I love it, when it comes to the vocals, I feel the same – it's the combination of the two that I was never 100% sure of. There are more than enough moments where the energy and approach seems like it's a perfect match, but a few noticeable spots where it kind of felt like forcing the square peg into the round hole. The classy, graceful, and angelic way that Olivia sings is spot-on…but admittedly, kind of an odd-fit for the vibrant, bouncy, & playful electro surrounding her. Once the strings and piano melody join in, I think it all starts to fit into place and the vision here comes into focus a bit more…but will it be enough for the people out there listening…much harder to say. The continually friendly & inviting sound of the music and the undeniable talent in Olivia's vocals could be enough to pull it off when it comes to getting the nod from listeners out there…it's an odd mix of styles & sound overall, but as I mentioned in the beginning – there's value in that too…it really does make each experience on this record interesting.
Because as you'll hear on the next track, "Let Me Know" featuring Farrah Monster, Rhythm, Blues, & Gospel – A Story Of Love, Hope, & Faith isn't about to become any more typical than it's been any time soon. Having said that – this track is really something ain't it? I think Farrah is incredibly vibrant and sounds fantastic in a multi-dimensional role that has her putting a whole range of her abilities on display. I think she has some absolutely amazing moments along the way and immediately starts out on strong tones & solid ground. In particular when she goes into the vocals just past the first minute – that gear right there is equally spectacular and in a completely different style. If it wasn't for the one listed credit, I'd have been positive this was actually two entirely different singers. That chorus hook is immaculate…I absolutely loved it, and the free-flow into the vocals afterwards around the 2:30 mark really seems to embrace that inspired spirit of music in a really beautiful way. Once again, I also felt like the editing, production and layering of the vocals really made for a spectacular listening experience – and I liked that Benny also saved a moment at the end of this track to let the uniqueness of the music shine too.
As much as I might personally like the odd-pairings of sound that songs like "Blessed" and "Let Me Know" have – I can also acknowledge that when things go right and the energy matches all-around, it's always a noticeable thing. "Pray For You" is a great example of that perfect match between the vocals and music – and that goes for the rap, goes for the singing, goes for the sound, etc. etc. – this WORKS. I think the melody in the main hook heads straight for the heart and is likely one of the strongest you'll find at any point on this record. Featured guests Quincy Thompson & Nekro G both do a fantastic job and really found the core emotion and energy that complements the vibe of the music on "Pray For You." Lyrically, also one of my favorites…all-in-all, I just really don't think there's a single thing to complain about when it comes to this track from performance to production…this song pulses with real life in its veins and sincere sentiment. I'm not sure what Benny's got planned as far as single-releases from this record may go…but if I was him, I'd be taking a serious look at this one as the ultimate choice. Tight bars are rapped with precision, melodies are sung with passion, emotion, & heart – and the music itself displays just as much character and personality as the guest stars on this song do – the balance between all these elements stack up to a seriously impressive song and memorable highlight.
Rhythm, Blues, & Gospel – A Story Of Love, Hope, & Faith is essentially impossible to predict as to where it'll turn next – and personally, I love that. Oddly enough, even with all the different vocalists and guests that show up, the truly defined perspective and approach that Benny takes to the music ends up creating a powerfully cohesive thread that ends up bonding all these songs together tighter in this set than you might think they would at first. Again, if you looked at it all on paper, it'd look downright WEIRD at times…but somehow, this all really makes sense and continually sounds fresh & inspired. While I felt like Esraelia Mack did a great job on "Don't Forget About Me" – I would also make the argument that she's even raised the stakes yet again and exceeded expectations with the artistic, rhythmic, & stylish flow she sings with in the swagger of the gentle melody on "Fool In Me." Following one seriously strong song with another, the back-to-back combo of "Pray For You" and "Fool In Me" is definitely one of the most noticeable points on the record where it feels like your attention naturally gravitates to every note sung and sound added. Much like "Don't Forget About Me" used that hypnotic aspect of the way that Mack can weave her vocals into the fabric of the melody, she makes complete magic on the microphone through the humble sincerity & beautiful sway of her voice on "Fool In Me."
I'd also challenge that the strengths continue. I know in my heart of hearts that most people out there won't give the same time of day to "I See You" as they will readily supply it to "Pray For You" or "Fool In Me" – they've got the advantage of highly accessible hooks, that's just the facts. But when it comes to "I See You" – this entire song goes for a completely different vibe than we've heard at any point on the record so far…and it makes a HUGE impact on the entire experience. As far as hooks go – there's ONE – and on "I See You" between the music from Benny and the vocals from Daniel Lemo, they prove that ONE solid idea is really all you need if you can bring it to the surface in just the right stunning light. I felt like this song was more than captivating…it's brilliantly hypnotic and all-out mesmerizing; Lemo's vocals are hauntingly beautiful. Like if anything, considering where everything started – we're almost ending up in Radiohead territory here at this point on "I See You" – if that doesn't speak to the wide range of sound you'll find on this record, I don't know what else could…this is miles away from where it all began. For what's essentially the one hook being morphed, repeated & slightly changed throughout the entire three minutes, I think you'll be surprised at just how much you might connect to this song and crave it. I know that's how it went down for me…I honestly couldn't get enough of this song and probably ended up repeating this more often than most of the songs on this record…it's just a vibe you can absolutely stay lost within and never want to leave. Lemo nails every possible second and tone of the vocals with remarkable creativity, skill, and professionalism…when it comes to the vocals, it's next-level stuff here.
Alright…so…I think we're still on the hot streak with "Devil Ain't Foolin Me" featuring Nekro G back in the mix to spit the bars…and for real, the man's got game on the ol m-i-c, putting in some of his most memorable moments into this cut through the verses. Wasn't completely wild about the main-hook of the chorus, it's alright…but I think the odds of it making the impact it could are stacked against it due to how wild it is to listen to Nekro G in the verses. So versatile on the mic! So skilled! Such a perfect match for the energetic bounce and low-end infused vibe that runs through the music on "Devil Ain't Foolin Me" – this track has got the SPARK! Loving the old-school record scratches in the mix – but if there's any one major aspect of this cut that's gonna pull you in, I really gotta hand the award to Nekro G without question this time around – I just don't know how anyone could ask for anything more than they're getting with the stunning combination of complexity, precision, passion, knowledge & skill that you'll get on the mic here. That's supercharged charisma on the mic, straight-up.
It's not just me that hears it right – Benny's workin' with some Super Mario fireball sounds on "Hope" isn't he? I dig this cut…I'm not sure I've got all the credits on this one or not…I know Frannie El comes back into the mix here and does another excellent job of his vocals on this track too. There's such a tangible brightness and clarity in the way he sings that sounds like he's in full control at all times. I don't quite know if it necessarily continues the hot streak this record has been on, but I didn't really feel like it hurt it…"Hope" is a good tune. With the female backing vocals, it actually reminds me of something you might hear from OhLand in those parts…Frannie El is always on-point so no concerns there either, the rap is strong…there's a diverse range of elements to dig on when it comes to "Hope." Plus I think Frannie's a great choice for a track called "Hope" – the dude SOUNDS like the audible definition of the word and consistently brings a sweet, controlled, professional and bright melody to his vocal tones.
For as light as the sounds of the music on "Better Man" truly are – this is one intense cut! The rap comes at you real fast on this track, guest stars Jayo The Beatslayer & Nekro G assisting in leading the way to victory here. I'm…somewhat indifferent on the music of this particular cut…I could take it or leave it; what really fascinates me is just how much they've all maximized this moment. You'll get a taste of what I mean in the instrumental ending to this cut…at this point we're all maxxed-out on the music of this melody and now you get a chance to hear it as plain as day on its own…and were that the case like it is at the end, you'd need more without question. Listening to Jayo The Beatslayer & Nekro G somehow conquer this molehill and make it a mountain is extraordinary…it's truly due to their efforts on the mic here that this song ends up becoming as entertaining as it does. Hypnotic repetition has worked to Benny Charles' advantage throughout much of this record so far…once those sounds become the dominant aspect of the sound, things become tougher, know what I mean? Like I'd love to be able to fully concentrate on all the solid lyricism that's happening on the mic, but that does become tough here with the brightness of the electro melody so upfront in the mix. Honestly not sure what I'd recommend here…I don't know that turning the music down a bit or the vocals up would be the fix this cut particularly needs…but there's something needed here…just a slight tweak or additional dimension added to the music somewhere maybe…hard to put a finger on what the solution could be ultimately. Once again though, the heroes on the mic shine through and end up pulling us on board – it's pretty hard to argue with the fantastic energy and flawless flow from Jayo The Beatslayer & Nekro G on "Better Man" – Jayo's got mad precision & a continuous flow, Nekro G supplies the rhythm like he'll never run out of it.
"If This World Was Mine" is a tougher track to examine. I like that it diversifies the sound even more on the record with another new style & approach…this is more of a low-down club vibe. I think they've run into a bit of a confusing cut here when it comes to how to tackle it all…I felt like guests Deem Jaye and Nekro G had no problem with the bars they're featured on tone-wise…but Antonia Marquee is doing everything she can just to try to find her way into what is a truly tough part to sing. She'd have to nearly be singing in completely dissonant tones to match the sound of the music here…and that's a tough ask of any singer when the natural inclination is to add some melody with life in it through the vocals, rather than flat tones. So…you can hear that struggle here in the hooks…that complexity creeps in while searching for the right tones…and the natural melody ends up being the jarring effect rather than the more lifeless tones do. I don't fault Antonia…you can hear she can sing, there's no doubt about that – trying to fit into the sound of this song is a seriously enormous ask and I felt like she's done the best she could with the part she had. Nekro G is likely on his way to becoming the unsung hero of this record – every time he shows up on the mic, he raises the stakes & standards…definitely a tough act to follow. Musically, the low-end infused beat works pretty well…I think the real highlights of "If This World Was Mine" come through during the inspired ending that this track eventually finds in its last minute or so.
The all-instrumental "Uncle Tom" was a great moment for the music of Benny Charles to really take its own moment in the spotlight – and it's awesome! I think this was a great move to provide a break in the record and reset for a moment before starting the official push through the final third to the end on what's definitely a lengthy experience overall…it gives us all a chance to catch our breath a bit, chill-out and get our minds ready to absorb some more of these beats & rhymes to come. "Uncle Tom" has an excellent Electro-Jazz deal of its own goin' on…and quite honestly, always ended up being a track I sincerely looked forward to hearing each time it came around. I think the melody is strong, unique, & memorable – it's as bright as what you'll find on "Better Man" in some ways, but with this track being completely without words, that's the moment where you want a sound like this to take the starring role.
Not sure who's taking the lead on "Footprints," but she does a tremendous job on this melody, summoning her strength as the song plays on and going from smooth tones to bold notes throughout this song. The notes I've got here mentioned Daniel Lemo being featured here…and the ability to morph the vocals even more than I thought to be capable of – I thought we had someone else entirely here in comparison to the vocals we hear on "I See You" earlier or "Believe" to follow, which also features Lemo. Bottom line is, Daniel does a great job and really has some excellent moments throughout this song where there's seriously giant notes to be taken on, and Lemo takes them all on confidently. I've long forgotten most of the teachings of the religious background I was raised with aside from the essential core values of human decency, politeness, & respect for others…but I think it's also pretty safe to say that most people out there have had a run-in or two with the infamous passage of "Footsteps" which inspires the lyrics & direction of this song. If you're out there shopping at Christmas time or ever spent time in a photo or greeting card store, you've likely read the passage just in passing if you're not already wholly familiar with it. It's classic, it's timeless, it's beautifully written and a highly expressive & meaningful message…and I think if you're at all familiar with it, you'll likely get just that much more out of this song at the end of the day. And if you're not familiar with it…well…tell me how exactly that's a thing, and like, possible – everyone knows "Footsteps" don't they? I think the vocals in the verse of this cut were probably my favorite part – I like the more delicate atmosphere of the music as well…I think the biggest moments still fit the song really well, but for me it was the more intimate and isolated moments that hit the mark most often. On "Believe," Daniel dives deeper into a more theatrical & dramatic style of tune…dig the darker-style of sound on this track and the atmosphere it provides – yet ANOTHER different kind of vibe that you'll find on Rhythm, Blues, & Gospel – A Story Of Love, Hope, & Faith – there's definitely no shortage of versatility on this record, that's for sure. Clever pacing with curious and mysterious sounds, combined and brilliant vocals from Daniel – "Believe" really ends up being quite the captivating tune where it feels like you've really gone right into the atmosphere & depths of this song…like it takes you right out of your own world and into the realm of Benny Charles.
At the beginning of three bonus tracks before the end – "Pastime Paradise" brought a smile to my face. Talk about a cover tune! I think you kinda gotta admire just how well this works here. If nothing else, I think it's an extremely clever idea to have tried this – but I think the strings/bass combo and Frannie El's consistently solid vocals really make this track a worthy venture. When the choir vocals and background vocals come in over the final two-minutes or so, I felt like things got even more interesting and amazing to listen to…"Pastime Paradise" really surrounds you in sound at all times. Smart use of ambience and the beginning & end of the song – and the incredible tone on the bass-lines was phenomenal…every time this cut came on I found myself addicted to listening to the rich sounds of the bass & how well they complement & lead this whole vibe.
As a bonus cut, I can accept "Hallelujah" being on this record. Because Olivia Cipriani has a beautifully bold voice, I can accept "Hallelujah" being on this record. With the music being different enough from the original, I can accept "Hallelujah" being on this record. On the strength of the amazing songwriting of this cover-tune alone…don't get me wrong, on some level, I've always got time for this song in any of its forms. But as for the rest of me, I'm pretty much in the 'like c'mon' crowd…because as much as I can appreciate this version as I do many of the millions of others – that's exactly what works against this and likely why I'd assume it doesn't make the official final lineup on the album. Including "Hallelujah" is nearly the most anticipated move you could possibly imagine to find on a faith-based record in any genre…and the last thing that Rhythm, Blues, & Gospel – A Story Of Love, Hope, & Faith has been at any point along the way has been typical…so I'll admit, it was strange to find this here. It's an incredibly tough song to sing, especially when presented in what's almost a cello & drum-led version of the song as it is here…I felt like Olivia does what she can with it and represents herself strongly on the mic – but at the end of the day, I think the right call was made by having this appear as a bonus track on the record.
Or even as a separate single to help hype the record…bundle these bonus cuts up and put out an EP a month before the album comes out! Ain't nothing wrong with doing that Benny. It'll keep great ideas like "Don't Forget About Me" from being worn out too quickly…which can happen quite easily over time when a cut appears twice on a record like this one does. I think the mix of this particular version comes out a bit stronger…I still think those bright hi-hat bursts come through with too much power at times – but I like the 'Hip-Hop Mix' and the extra flash that this version comes along with. The rap is solid and vibrantly rhythmic – you can hear the spirit and LIFE in these bars…the passion is there…and I really dig the commitment in the performance when it comes to the rhymes on "Don't Forget About Me (Hip-Hop Mix)." Combined with those insatiably cool & hypnotic hooks from Esraelia Mack on the mic, you undeniably get MORE of a great thing on this second version of "Don't Forget About Me" – there's risk in having any song appear twice as we all know, but I felt like this version was probably the stronger of the two and does end up furthering the journey of this song with the additional two minutes in length.
And if I'm being REAL honest with ya…as I always am…I gotta say – the "Intro (The Beginning)" and "Outro (I'm Coming)" – these both go so much further beyond the average intros/outros that you'll find on a record – these ended up being some huge highlights on this album where they collectively really spell out what the main messages of the subjects & themes of this record really are. But the combination of clever samples (This one actually sounds like it comes from "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" by Aerosmith unless I'm crazy) and spoken-word is absolutely awesome to listen to on "Outro (I'm Coming)." Incredible social-insight being provided on this final track as well…I'm massively impressed by just how many relevant references are included and the points being made – it makes an incredible impact and thought-provoking finale to Rhythm, Blues, & Gospel – A Story Of Love, Hope, & Faith. What a unique experience! Definitely a ride worth taking and a ton of ideas to be found here, stunning guest stars, singers, sounds and much, much more…it's not typical, it's not what you'd expect – and all that adds up to a memorable experience worth repeating.
Find out more about Benny Charles from his official page at: http://www.bennycharles.com
Tags: Album Benny Charles Rhythm Blues & Gospel – A Story Of Love Hope & Faith sleepingbagstudios


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Wolcott J. Humphrey III Symposium Committee Books Panelists, Sets Final Preparation for Coach Jim Boeheim's Keynote Speech
The Wolcott J. Humphrey III Symposium Planning Committee is making final plans for the September 4 event, Chairman James L. Vincent said today. The Symposium will feature Syracuse University Men's Basketball Coach Jim Boeheim as the keynote speaker.
The Symposium lineup includes:
Leadership and Perseverance, a panel discussion featuring four prominent local business leaders who will answer questions from a moderator about their own business challenges. The panel will include Kathy Balus, President and CEO of Pioneer Credit Recovery, Inc.; Gary Kone, President and CEO, FTT Manufacturing; James Sinner, President and CEO, Medina Memorial Hospital; and Maureen Torrey, President and CEO of Torrey Forms. Interim Genesee County Chamber of Commerce President Frank Ferrando will serve as moderator. The panel discussion will be held in the Conable Technology Building, Room T-102. (4:00 - 5:30 p.m.)
A buffet dinner in the William W. Stuart Forum, featuring a variety of food and beverage stations. (5:30 - 7:00 p.m.)
Coach Jim Boeheim's keynote address on leadership, scheduled in the Stuart Steiner Theatre (7:00 - 8:00 p.m.).
"Meet the Coach," an informal opportunity for participants to meet and greet Coach Boeheim in the Theatre.
Cost of the event is $25. Seating is limited, and reservations may be made by calling (585) 345-6809. Participants may select a single Symposium event to attend, or may choose to attend all of the events.
Family members and friends of Wolcott J. (Jay) Humphrey founded the Symposium in his memory after his untimely death in 2001. Each year, the Symposium will feature an address on the subject of leadership by one or more individuals with a regional or national reputation. The event is financed by an endowment fund held by the Genesee Community College Foundation and donated by Mr. Humphrey's friends, family, and business associates.
The planning committee selected Jim Boeheim as the keynote speaker of the inaugural symposium because of his personal and professional dedication and perseverance - essential qualities of leadership, according to Mr. Vincent.
Mr. Boeheim is a native of Lyons, New York. He played basketball at Syracuse University and graduated in 1966 with a degree in Social Science. He then became Syracuse's golf coach and a graduate basketball assistant. He was named assistant basketball coach in 1972 and head coach in 1976. He ranks fourth among Division I coaches in winning percentage of games. The success of Syracuse's team led to the construction of the 33,000 seat Carrier Dome in 1984. In 2002, SU trustees officially renamed the basketball court at the Carrier Dome the "Jim Boeheim Court." Last season, he led the Syracuse Orangemen to the NCAA championship.


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Event Sourcing (ES) ist ein Verfahren, bei dem alle Veränderungen des Zustands einer Softwareanwendung als Sequenz von Events abgebildet und aufgezeichnet werden. Event Sourcing wird zu den Analysemustern gezählt.

Mögliche Implementierung mit einem ESB
Funktionen bzw. Methoden werden zunächst gemäß dem CQS-Prinzip nach Queries und Commands aufgeteilt. Commands werden an einen Enterprise Service Bus (ESB) geleitet. Falls der Command Handler das Command erfolgreich behandeln kann, wird ein Event erzeugt.

Alle Events werden von einem Event Store aufgezeichnet. Hierbei kommen Datenbankensysteme zum Einsatz. Alternativ kann direkt in das Dateisystem von Festplatten geschrieben werden, was eine höhere Streaming-Performance aufweist als Datenbanken.

Der Einsatz eines Event Stores bietet den Vorteil, dass alle Änderungen am System jederzeit durch eine Wiederholung der Events deterministisch nachgestellt werden können. Dies bietet Vorteile bei der Nachvollziehbarkeit, etwa aus rechtlichen Gründen oder im Debugging. Um die Performance bei der Wiederherstellung eines gegebenen Zustandes zu erhöhen, werden in regelmäßigen Abständen Snapshots des aktuellen Zustands durchgeführt.

Für die einzelnen Events werden am ESB Event-Handler registriert, welche z. B. Zustandsänderungen an denormalisierten Datenbanken durchführen, E-Mails versenden oder Fehler protokollieren.

Vorteile
 Hohe Skalierbarkeit
 Einfache Anpassung an veränderte Business-Anforderungen
 Nachvollziehbarkeit, da alle Änderungen aufgezeichnet werden
 Jederzeit nachträgliche Datenanalyse möglich
 Deterministische Fehleranalyse möglich

Nachteile
 Hoher Aufwand bei der Implementierung
 Unpassend, wenn der Status wichtiger ist als die Events

Weblinks

Quellen

Analysemuster

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


Theoretical studies have always been a very important method in scientific research. One important reason is that, it is an inexpensive activity. In the past , it was enough for people to have pen and paper to do theoretical studies. Though in modern time, it has been indispensable for scientists to read a lot of journals, publications, and, recently, use the internet to obtain a huge amount of information, theoretical study is still relatively a much cheaper scientific activity. Past study has provided quite a good description of the world and current theory study is providing more powerful tools for us to deal with the seemingly more complex world, such as neural networks, dynamic theory, wavelet analysis, etc. Generally, theoretical study is used to gain a basic understanding of physical processes. For example, from the study of magnetism, Alfven, through the study of magnetized plasmas, predicted the existence of Alfven waves in space, which was later verified by observation. As we have just discussed, observation is most important for us to have a basic understanding of the space environment. But this is not enough. After we obtain enough data, we still need theoretical study to get the physical understanding of those phenomena.
Similar to the observation, theoretical study also has its own limitations. The environment of space is so complex that many processes are involved in the evolution of the space environment. Though the controlling equations of the space environment are themselves relatively simple, it is almost impossible to derive from these equations the nature of many important processes and their evolution. Modern theoretical study has achieved much progress in the study of linear problems, such as small waves, etc. But for those nonlinear problems, such as shocks, etc, theoretical study is still far from mature.


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An Cnoc 12 Years Old 6 CL Sample Read more..
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