text:
Bitty Buddha 101: What to Do When You Meet Someone with a Bad Name
"Dickbutkus" by photo by Alan Light. Licensed under CC BY 2.0 via Commons –
I think being part of the human tribe is hard, but for my seven-year-old Buddha, it seems kind of cake-walky. It's not that nothing bad ever happens to him. I mean, a few weeks ago he breathlessly announced that he was pretty sure he'd met a bully at school. Yet his thrilled expression matched that of someone who'd spotted a Yeti. Some boy had cornered him at the water fountain and said, "ME NO LIKE YOUR NAME!'" (Maybe it was a Yeti.) My son happily added, "I just ignored him." He saw the whole situation as an opportunity to exercise his willpower and kindness.
If my genetic matter had any bearing on the situation at all, there would have been some spitting of warm mouth-water into certain people's too-close-together eyeballs. But that, of course, is half the reason I'm so fascinated by his insights into a life well-lived. He really addresses some of the most basic and troubling challenges of living among others. Case in point: what he shared with me during the three-minute car ride from school today…
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU MEET SOMEONE WITH A BAD NAME
Mom, they moved me to a new bus this week.
OH? DO YOU LIKE YOUR NEW BUS DRIVER?
Yeah, but I feel really bad for her, because she has a really bad name. It's MISS DIRTY. That's a REALLY bad name to have. Well, actually, I guess it's not so bad. It's kind of pretty if you just say it—misterdee! But then if you think about what it means? Well, it's a pretty bad name, so I feel really bad for her.
SO, IF YOU THINK SOMEONE HAS A BAD NAME, SHOULD YOU SAY SOMETHING TO THEM ABOUT IT?
No, because that would hurt their feelings. Just pretend you didn't notice.
WHAT IF YOU SAID, "HEY, THAT'S A REALLY NEAT NAME!"
Sure. You could do that. It would probably make them feel good.
BUT ISN'T THAT A LIE?
Sometimes there's such a thing as a good lie.
WHAT'S A GOOD LIE? LIKE, IF SOMEONE ASKS, "DOES MY BUTT LOOK REALLY BIG IN THESE PANTS?" DO YOU SAY, "NO WAY"?
Pretty much. Yup.
CAN YOU GIVE YOUR OWN EXAMPLE OF A GOOD LIE?
Like, maybe if someone's really naughty, you tell them, "Hey, there! You do a really good job following the rules!"
HONEY, DO YOU KNOW WHAT SARCASM IS?
Posted in advice	| Tagged Bitty Buddha	| 2 Comments
Bitty Buddha 101: How (and Why) to Make a Mean Person Your Friend
I can't count how many times someone's called my first-grader a little Buddha. He's an insightful little fart, often boiling down life's tough stuff into the simplest terms from the backseat of my Hyundai. And he's always unusually happy, even when his nose is bleeding like a scene from the Colosseum. One could argue that all first-graders have a happy nature, but that's simply not true. I know, because my sixth-grader came out of the womb with her cup already half empty. (Boy, did THAT hurt. Rimshot!)
As a result of the constant flow of weird and wonderful things that come out of my son's mouth, something awful happened: I became One of Those Annoying Moms Who Quotes Verbatim Conversations with Her Child on Facebook, like this one:
"Mom, I love you more than you love me."
"Impossible. I love you times infinity."
"Well, I love you times googol."
Then, after much back and forth about I LOVE YOU googolplex, googolplex plus one, infinity plus infinity, he says, "Just kidding. I actually only love you about 10 percent."
"Mom, I think sometimes it's better to be a kid than a grownup, because if you're a kid and you punch someone, you just get in trouble. If you're a grownup…JAIL."
And this picture:
With this caption:
"I think that guy really wants you to honk at him. It says, 'Big Horn' right there on the back, Mom."
Look, I'm not saying he's a total wizard, but he's kind of growing on you, right?And sometimes he does make some amazing observations, about which I post things like this:
Playing a silly game of "what's your favorite…" at bedtime, I asked my son, "What's your favorite booger?" He said, "The not-bloody ones." And when I laughed, he said, very seriously, "I'm not kidding. They're gross. The blood tastes so bad on the booger!"
I could go on, but I won't, because starting today, I'm just going to put the virtual microphone right under his chain. Today, Bitty Buddha wisdom, as dispensed to me from the back of my Hyundai and repeated to me for transcription when we got home–because he thought "we should probably put that on Google, to help people."
I agree. Without further adieu…
HOW AND WHY TO MAKE A MEAN PERSON YOUR FRIEND
Hello, everybody. This is how you make a mean person into your friend. The reason you want to make them into your friend is because it's hard to make friends with people who are mean. It's really hard, because you think they're so mean. That's what most people think, so then the mean person doesn't get friends, and they become sad. Try to make friends with them, so you don't get hurt. But be careful, so you don't get hit. These are the instructions:
First, you need to make friends with them.
Then, you need to help them become good, because friends normally obey each other and like to have fun, so he might obey you and be nice and be a good person.
Also, this is all how it started. Because I had a bloody nose at school, because another boy slapped me in the nose on accident. We were playing cops and robbers. He gets in a LOT of mischief almost every day. After the nosebleed, since I didn't want to lose him as a friend—because it's hard to make friends with people that are naughty—I had to make him better. I plan to stay friends with him so I can try to do that.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Posted in advice, friends, motherhood	| Tagged Bitty Buddha, Bullies, Friendship, Life Wisdom	| 1 Comment
You're Doing It All Wrong: Parenting in the Information Age
Posted on February 5, 2015	by Jenny
The choice is obvious.
To circumcise or not, to vaccinate or not, to breastfeed or not, to co-sleep or not: Parenting young kids has become a series of capital-W watershed choices that are presented as ways to make or break your child—physically, emotionally, developmentally. The stakes are always portrayed as the highest of high, with nearly every single debated issue (and there are LOTS of them) leading to this one conclusion: "If you do [or don't do] X, your child will suffer grave consequences or even death." But, hey, no pressure, right?
Since there are always horrifically true cautionary tales on both sides of every single one of these debates, both sides have plenty of ammunition to scare the bejesus out of parents. From deciding whether to let baby sleep on his back or tummy, to deciding whether to let older children walk to the park alone, mom and dad repeatedly get the message that life itself hinges on their decisions. It's exhausting, and brand-new parents definitely bear the brunt of it. So, to me, it feels cruel to wag an angry finger at those parents who, for example, didn't vaccinate their kids at the height of McCarthy-ism (Jenny, that is, not Joseph). We're all just trying to figure out what information to trust, and make sure our kids don't get toasted.
Parenthood is a series of forks in the road, and I suspect the signage we face at these forks has become much messier and more involved than it was for generations past. It's damn scary to keep trying to play by ever-changing road rules, as information keeps getting repackaged, reversed, or revised. It's also scary to realize that even if we play by the numbers—or, on the opposite end, just sit at the fork and hope the winds will decide the proper tine to blow us down—there is the potential that we're going to harm our children. Damned if you do. Damned if you don't. Your actions can lead to horrible consequences. Your inaction can lead to horrible consequences.
The Disney measles drama is what's on my mind as I write this blog. To me, it's just one more reminder that, in the Information Age, a Critical Thinking class should be required coursework for parents. Heck, why not for everyone? As a society steeped in information and with crisis after crisis being presented to us in a steady flow, we need now more than ever to be better equipped to separate data from opinion, judge for ourselves what deserves our attention, recognize a spin when we see it, and draw logic-driven rather than mob-driven or fear-driven conclusions. That's not an easy task if you aren't taught the skills to accomplish it. I for damn sure could use a refresher course, much more than I needed one of those cute little hospital classes on taking care of a newborn, as it turns out.
I write these words after reading this angry dad's article. I'm not cheerleading everything he wrote (as there are many parts where I find the data points interesting but don't draw the same conclusions as he does). I certainly haven't walked a mile in his shoes, but I can see he's wearing his thinking cap and trying to encourage critical thought. That deserves some praise. As he put it in his intro: "I hope when you're done reading that you say to yourself, 'he gave me a ton to think about.'"
Posted in motherhood	| 1 Comment
All Better
Posted on December 3, 2014	by Jenny
My son wept today. Even though he's six, such displays are rare with him. The tears were over a Lego creation he worked on for maybe an hour, tops, something he very generously called a Transformer. To me, it looked like it could be a Lego anything: a building, a sandwich, a tribute to Tetris.
"This right here? It's a shooter. It grows at night, when the bad guys are out, like this—vvvvssshhoowwww, bachonk, bachonk—with wings that can't be broken. AND it defends against rockets. Pah-kew! Pah-kew!"
He had just finished describing this terrifying beauty to me, in great and passionate detail, when he went running off, tripped, and sent the whole thing flying. When it landed on the ceramic tile in our kitchen, his creation shattered back into all its original pieces. There were maybe a hundred, all told. We had to get out the dustpan and everything.
The weeping that ensued wasn't a goldfish-died kind of weeping, and he didn't seem particularly interested in having an audience. It was more like a crop-is-ruined-better-get-a-second-job sort of stoic sadness you might see from a farmer at the end of a particularly bad summer. Yeah, things got kind of real for him for a few minutes there.
Instead of running to comfort him, I watched from the next room. I know he's only six, but I wanted to see what he'd do with the ordeal. Because, you know, life is like that. Shit randomly breaks and goes wrong, and you can't always repair it. Whether it's shattered glass, a dropped egg, or something intangible, like a friendship, some breaks won't mend. That's a hard and important lesson to learn. This was a decidedly privileged and painless way to start teaching it. I'd be a fool to pass that up.
When I was in the fifth grade, I won a raffle for a beautiful porcelain figurine. Among the entire school population, there were only two winners—two such figurines—and to be one of those winners felt like winning a Pulitzer. I'm sure I didn't think of it in those terms at the time, maybe more like meeting Olivia Newton-John or waking up with boobs. About five minutes after I retrieved the doll from the school office—she had this flowing blue gown, long black hair, and sultry eyes with eyeshadow—some kid on a BMX bike came tearing through the breezeway where I was standing, crashed into me, and sent her flying. She completely shattered, save for her sad head.
"Can we glue it?" I sobbed to my mom. She had witnessed the whole scene unfolding as she walked from her car to pick me up. "We can, right!?"
No way in hell could my mom put eight million shards of porcelain back together to look like Catherine Zeta-Jones in a ball gown. That doll couldn't be glued. She couldn't be replaced. It was time to let disappointments just be disappointing. My mom knew (or just learned) what I'm continuously learning: Parents can fix only so much, and that's actually a good thing. Because real life has curves and ditches that cannot be avoided. You gotta practice for them when you can.
I could see that today was that kind of training day for my son. When he was ready, I took him up in my arms and hugged and kissed him and told him how much it sucks when something you work so hard on gets ruined. But I didn't make it "all better" for him. I didn't even try. That's his job, and he figured out how to do it all by himself.
Transformer II: The Second Coming
Three years ago today, on my mom's birthday, I received a call that punched me in the gut during a business lunch: It was my dad, letting me know that a possible donor heart had been found for him.
In the business of heart transplantation, the person in need of the heart lives in a kind of limbo as a name on a registry of potential recipients. My dad was fairly high on the registry because of the severity of his condition, but many months had passed since he was placed there. And until that phone call, every time his name showed up on my caller ID, my stomach would do a flip.
My lunch partner, a client, had the uncomfortable job of watching me cry into my sushi after I hung up. As I apologized for my blubbering, I remember him saying, "It's okay. This is real life!" He was exuberant, and I knew what he meant: It's so easy to forget that life isn't a collection of errands and pastimes and lunch dates and things that merely add up to a day and another day and another one after that.
En route to the hospital, I picked up my kids from school. They were giddy as just-fed hamsters, not being old enough to fully grasp the complexity of what was happening. I'd say the glee was slightly more than they show at the county fair when I let them eat cotton candy, and slightly less than they show on Christmas morning. Gently I explained that our excitement came at a very high cost: Their grandpa was about to gain a heart because someone had died, and the surgery he was about to have was incredibly serious. It was important to me that they regard the gift much differently than ones left under Christmas trees. This was no Lego set or American Girl doll. This was real life.
Once at the hospital, I realized the kids would need some diversions. There would be hours of waiting for screening results. The surgery itself could take well over a dozen hours. So, I left to buy some coloring books at a drug store up the road. On my way back in, waiting by a set of interior elevators that would take me up to my dad's room, I overheard a somewhat hysterical conversation taking place between two women. They were huddled together on a bench, shoulder to shoulder, heads bowed. One was telling the other what a beautiful thing she'd done, what an amazing choice she'd made. She said to take comfort in it, because it meant someone else out there would get a chance to live. The sobbing was unbearable. My chest dropped into my ankles. Was this the donor's loved one?
Because his donor's survivors opted not to respond to the letter my dad was allowed to write several months after surgery, we still don't know who my dad's donor was. We might not ever know. But I have my suspicions.
The day my dad had his transplant, there was an accidental death here in town, a young woman hit by a car. I read about it in the news the next day, noting how close the time of death was to the time my dad got his call. Was it her? My dad's donor was classified as "high risk," which can mean any number of things, one of the typical ones being a history of IV drug use. The obituary of the woman whose death was reported in the news included a request that donations be made to a foundation for diabetes research. Surely she'd been a diabetic. Did she receive insulin by IV?
I don't actually know if this woman was my dad's donor, but I feel sure that those women in the hospital atrium were her loved ones. So, I feel sure she was somebody's donor. That's why I keep a photo of her on my desktop. For the past three years, her face has greeted mine at some point nearly every day, every time I fire up the machine where I write these words. Every time I look at her face, cupped in her own hands with a playful light in her eyes, I say a little prayer for her and the people she left behind. I wonder if she did what she wanted to do before she died. I feel grateful. And sometimes I linger a little longer on the picture, remembering that this is real life. We each get just one to call our own. Mine is nobody else's, and I get to choose what becomes of it, at least until I die and leave a little piece of it to someone else.
Posted in transplant	| 1 Comment
My Cantankerous Little McCain
Posted on October 25, 2014	by Jenny
If you came here looking for a political spar, sorry. Being a new mom during major elections sucks: I mean, I know what sounds like bullshit, but I'm in no position to debate the finer points and could only rely on invective to back myself up. In other words, I'm like most voters I know (except that I tend to keep my political opinions to myself when they're just that: opinions). This is particularly crappy, because I'm all for allowing only demonstrably informed individuals a vote. If it weren't for party platforms staying basically the same, I'd have to sit this election out.
Anyway, I noticed a few weeks ago that my baby boy looks like John McCain — not in the face but in the arms. All newborns do. Those stiff little curled things, held a few inches from the body: Aren't they cute? Even on McCain.
Do you think it would be inappropriate for me to dress my baby up as John McCain for Halloween? I could give him a little white comb-over, and the slightest hint of melanoma. To wit, when I wear my glasses and pull my hair up, I bear a fair resemblance to Sarah Palin. I'm totally going to do this thing.
Don't think I won't. Our firstborn bore a great resemblance to Der Fuhrer when she was a baby. You bet your buns we scribbled a dark moustache on her little upper lip that Halloween. Because that's politically correct, right?
Originally published 2009 JLF and the Momplex Blog.
Posted in babies, general mockery, politics, speed-posts	| 3 Comments
Unbreakable Girls: Lessons in Extraordinary Resilience
Kendall Smedley was just twelve years old when a latent snarl of malformed vessels in her brain—there since birth—ruptured and left her lifeless in the ER at a children's hospital in Madison, Wisconsin. That night, whether by chance or providence, a respected neurosurgeon fresh out of a late-night surgery got the midnight page. At Kendall's bedside, he swiftly made the call: Emergency surgery would be necessary to relieve brain pressure. Nurses ushered Kendall's parents from the room just before she coded.
Kendall after emergency brain surgery
Kendall's mom, Susan, didn't know her firstborn had crossed over that night. Neither did her father or her stepfather. They were too preoccupied with the post-surgery prognosis: There was a mere 20 percent chance Kendall would survive the 24 hours ahead. She came out alive, but Kendall can't remember any of it, not even the hours before she'd lost consciousness, not even calling home from the slumber party where she'd been trying to fight off a headache.
"I'm not going to stay," she'd told her mom as the rest of the girls played in the background. "This is a really bad one."
Headaches had long been typical for Kendall but were usually nothing Ibuprofen or chiropractic adjustments couldn't shake. During the week before the party, they were happening daily. She'd even gone to the chiropractor the afternoon of the brain bleed. After the adjustment, she'd felt well enough to jump on her trampoline before heading to her friend's home. Kendall's last memory of the night was of ordering pizza with her friends. She doesn't remember the string of calls she made to her mom, the last one in hysterics as Susan steered down Highway 12/18 toward the Madison suburb of Oregon.
"Hurry, Mom!!!" Kendall had screamed. "I feel like my head's exploding!!!"
Then, she just went quiet.
"She'd been having headaches off and on for years," recalls Kendall's mom, a vibrant lung-cancer survivor who now works as manager of national events for the National Lung Cancer Partnership. "They weren't debilitating to the point that she'd just lay there, but they were consistent. I'd taken her to her pediatrician, and at the time we were looking at hormones, because she was at that age. How many pre-teen girls have headaches, you know?"
The culprit behind Kendall's headaches was actually an AVM, or arteriovenous malformation. This rare congenital defect can go undetected for years or even a lifetime. And it can present as a single tangle or many clusters in the brain's circulatory web. Some are expansive, others small. Though AVM ruptures are generally less deadly than other types of strokes, Kendall's was the exception.
Two Years Later
On a sunny winter day in Madison almost two years after her surgery, Kendall is visiting her neurosurgeon, Dr. David Niemann, in his University of Wisconsin Hospital office. Looking at her, nobody would guess she'd been to the brink here just two years earlier, head shaved and stitched on one side, saddled with speech loss, memory loss, and a dismal prognosis. Though Dr. Niemann continues to monitor what remains of Kendall's AVM, today's business isn't medical. She's interviewing him for a school report about someone who inspires her.
"Patients like you, who just were so sick," he says, "to be able to really make an impact and see someone get back to normal when they were really not normal or almost dying—it's a really great thing. Just treating patients and seeing them get better is one of the most motivating things for me."
Dr. Niemann says AVM ruptures are uncommon and have just a 10 percent mortality rate. Only part of Kendall's AVM ruptured, which is not unusual, and only part of what remained could be embolized. Shaped like a jellyfish, it presented as a central snarl with a long tangle of vessels meandering along one side of Kendall's head. The snarl is what ruptured.
"Your story is a little more unusual," Dr. Niemann tells Kendall. "If you didn't get treatment right away, you wouldn't have made it. Yours was more unusual in the severity and then also in your recovery. You've really had a remarkable recovery…and your story isn't over yet."
Kendall's only lingering symptom is short-term memory loss. Emotionally, she's rebounded with superhuman calm, even though medically she's not out of the woods. Early on, once she regained verbal expression, she says she'd ask the same question seven or eight times in just a few minutes. But working with a memory specialist, she's made leaps in improvement and honed extraordinary coping skills. Her lifeline is a notebook for jotting important information: homework, test dates, plans. She recently made High Honor Roll at her middle school.
"There was not a single I can't go back to school or I don't want to do this," says her stepfather, Trent Gerber. "No, it was when can I go back to school? That isn't any different than she was before, except she works harder now because she wants to maintain the same high level."
On a cold January day as I visit their suburban home, Kendall stands with her arms wrapped around Trent in the front doorway. She's all sandy hair and freckles, melting into him as she readies to be interviewed. Unlike Kendall's mom, who's more a kindred spirit to Kendall, Trent seems somewhat stupefied by Kendall's sweetheart-warrior nature: timid but strong, threatened but unafraid, so utterly un-childish. She's a force, a child who leaves adults in wonder.
It's certainly fair to wonder if Kendall has some sort of X Factor that most people aren't born with. You can't call it pluck. It's something more primordial and esoteric, a resilience like grass. After winters and fires, it's always grass that rebounds first and without ostentation. Kendall is a force like grass. Her mom says she was just born that way.
Scientists have long questioned what makes a person resilient, and mainstream studies disagree with Susan. They report resilience is not an inborn trait, that it's primarily gained through positive outside influences: mentors, parents, friends, and experiences crafted to impart a sense that all of life is navigable. But one has only to revisit a yearbook to find resilient, even inspiring adults that have emerged from anything-but-inspiring circumstances with scant positive influences. Clearly there are exceptions. Kendall's story is a mixed bag, leaving one wondering: Is her resilience a product of nature, nurture, or both?
Meet Mama Tiger
Susan Smedley-Gerber is a veritable mascot for bounce-back. In her early 30s, she was diagnosed with lung cancer and had most of one lung removed. Kendall wasn't even a year old yet and had to be abruptly weaned. The cancer was found early because Susan wouldn't lay off the doctors; they'd not been particularly concerned about the copious blood she began coughing up one weekend. Susan pressed and pressed and pressed them. (Think well-dressed wolverine with the self-composure of Emily Post.) Her persistence was life-saving: Lung cancer has a very high mortality rate, so early detection is critical.
"Immediately after they said cancer, I went into medical shock," Susan says. She was in a daze for half the day–long for her but arguably not much time at all for most people coping with such a scary diagnosis. "I responded much differently than I did with Kendall's ordeal. I was just in a totally different place. With my cancer, it was mostly about leaving Kendall that I was so distraught. Being completely [mentally] unavailable for a 12-hour period like that? That's very atypical for me."
Just 12 hours to regroup was all it took. Imagine that. Susan would show equally remarkable resilience during a dreadful string of unrelated tempests to follow the cancer. Within a few years of her cancer recovery, she made a painful discovery about her marriage. (She sees no need to broadcast details.) By then, she had a young son, whose ADHD and violent rages required professional intervention. Susan tried for more than a year to salvage her marriage but ultimately knew it was a cancer, too. The divorce terms required her to share placement of the kids, with a man she no longer trusted. Then Susan's mother suddenly fell ill and died.
If you're picturing a woman broken by a deluge of heartaches, don't. Susan bounced back with her spirit not only intact but deeply strengthened after each blow—even, eventually, after Kendall's brain hemorrhage.
Imagine the night of that hemorrhage. When the neurosurgeon was called in for emergency surgery, Susan felt like a dark thundercloud was condensing onto the head of a pin. Releases were hurriedly signed, machines and trays wheeled about in a flurry, and according to Susan, the staff dropped all eye contact with the family. There wasn't time enough even to move to an actual operating room. In the midst of that firestorm picture this: The mother calmly leaning over her twelve-year-old daughter, warming the freckled cheeks not with tears but whispers of encouragement:
"I know you're probably scared," Susan said. "I know you can hear me. The doctor is going to make you feel better. We have to leave the room now, but we'll be back as soon as we can. They know what they're doing. And if you have to cross over, Gram will be there. She'll keep you safe…but you have to come back.'"
The Science behind Resiliency
Just what makes a person capable of standing up so tall in the storm? Despite mainstream science's tack that it's about positive childhood influences, behind-the-curtain science tells a different story.
Michael Brandt, a psychologist at the Tomah Veteran's Assistance Hospital in Wisconsin, says mainstream science often dishonestly shies away from crediting genetics even when credit is due. He takes issue with that. Brandt has long been engrossed in resilience research and is the Wisconsin National Guard's go-to guy for training on the subject. His opinion: Save for slight points that can be gained by regularly getting outside one's comfort zone, resiliency is pretty much a steady-state affair, and certain people—like Susan and Kendall—are just more predisposed to it.
"Minimizing the genetic factor is reflective of the field in that it's not sexy to talk about the innate qualities inherent to resiliency," Brandt says, "in the same sense that it's not attractive to publish studies that discuss the genetic correlates of IQ. Researchers all know that it's the reality, but their work has a better chance of being published if it minimizes the predisposition aspects: Americans don't like to acknowledge what we've innately inherited because it flies in the face of a self-made ruggedly independent mentality."
Perhaps Dr. Brandt and sexy science are both right. No matter how much Susan insists Kendall was "just born that way," one cannot overlook the powerful examples of resiliency Kendall witnessed in her mom. Susan exemplified that "self-made ruggedly independent mentality" on a daily basis. Cancer, organ loss, divorce, the fabled problem child, the loss of a parent, and the near death of her child all failed to exhaust her reserves. Instead, they somehow multiplied them.
In the moments in the ER, and in the hours and weeks following Kendall's emergency surgery, Susan sent frequent updates to friends and family, maintaining in them the kind of composure usually reserved for world leaders in crisis situations. This was typical Susan. The feeling she conveyed wasn't so much that Kendall was going to be okay. It was that things were going to be okay—no matter what. Nobody who knows Susan would accuse her of living in denial. She just never went to a place of fear, and neither did Kendall.
"I don't remember ever having a thought that I wouldn't be there the next day," Kendall says. "I just kind of knew that I'd be okay. I knew I was going to go home and get back to my life."
Kendall's stepdad believes there's a deep spiritual lesson to behold in Kendall's recovery. "That's something she's taught us all lessons about—faith and strength," he says. "It's funny that a 14-year-old can teach a 40-year-old those types of lessons. She did it without trying, just being the person she was."
There's a spiritual lesson to behold in Susan, too. In light of her strong personality, it's interesting that she chose to trust rather than panic that night in the ER when control slipped through her fingers. In doing so, she discovered that true faith makes a person fearless, and that faith is at the root of strength.
"Once I was standing in that emergency room with Kendall, there was nothing I could do," Susan says. "Whatever was going to happen was independent of me, even though, like any mom worth her salt, I'm a ferocious mother tiger when it comes to protecting my kids."
Obviously Susan had coped with not having control over circumstances many times in the past but never with such enormity as in that moment. The closest she'd come was with the placement of her kids. Entrusting them to a person she had no reason to trust was especially excruciating, largely because it meant a long-term lack of control. There seemed to be no working with or around it. The risks would go on and on. Uncharacteristically, she'd long been having trouble bouncing back from that one, until the AVM rupture.
"There are things that you can't do anything about, even when you're standing right in the room," she says. "The experience helped me to go, 'I couldn't have saved her then. I didn't save her. I didn't have any real impact on this situation at all, except for just loving her through it. I know that if God can bring her back, all of these other issues that I feel are so ominous [referring to the split placement] are nothing. And I know now that she has her own path."
When the headaches recently resurged—a month-long scare that turned out to be a simple vision problem—Kendall maintained her own fearless focus. Just fourteen, she proudly talks today of becoming a child-life specialist like the one who helped her and her family in the hospital. The career would give her daily opportunities to work with pediatric patients, bridging the gap between the hard corners of medicine and the soft curves of human vulnerability.
The resilience shown by Kendall and her mom raises questions of intrigue for those with less bounce-back. If we trust the word of mainstream science, we should be paying closer attention to the likes of them—not just admiring but learning. As for Kendall, whether it be by genetics, example, or the higher power she trusts, she's in possession of all three possible wellsprings, uniquely equipped to rebound as well as pass down her gift:
"She's never used her AVM as an excuse," Trent tells her neurosurgeon one day. "There's been no, 'This is too hard now,' never anything like that."
"Like her mom," her neurologist likes to say. "Just like her mom." ᴥ
Kendall and Susan two years after Kendall's AVM rupture
Posted in motherhood	| 4 Comments


text:
爱上海,上海419论坛,上海龙凤419 – Powered by Ayel Javier!
Tag: 杭州西湖阁
Dele Alli keen to help young teammates through lockdown
Tottenham midfielder, Dele Alli, admits he's unhappy with the UK's coronavirus lockdown. "I wouldn't say it's been a good break because it was unexpected. But I've been missing playing, so I'm just trying to find ways to keep myself entertained and fit." Alli added: "As a more experienced player, I've been speaking to the younger lads and just making sure they are alright. read also:Dele Alli opens up on mistakes and role model status "Even for myself, speaking to other people and trying to make sure I'm not in my little bubble here and that I reach out and communicate with other people." FacebookTwitterWhatsAppEmail分享 However, Alli is making sure his younger teammates are staying positive. He admitted: "It's been difficult. This is the longest I've had off from the training ground and not training.Advertisement Loading… Promoted ContentWho Is The Most Powerful Woman On Earth?The 10 Best Secondary Education Systems In The World6 Incredibly Strange Facts About Hurricanes15 Celebs You Probably Didn't Expect To Be Cheerleaders6 Mysterious Things You Do Not Know About ChinaWho Earns More Than Ronaldo?10 Actors And Actresses Whose Careers Were Boosted By Soap Operas7 Most Asntonishing Train Stations In The WorldA Hurricane Can Be As Powerful As 10 Atomic Bombs8 Infamous Mistakes That Cost People Billions8 Superfoods For Growing Hair Back And Stimulating Its GrowthWho's The Best Car Manufacturer Of All Time? read more
Posted in osvhhmwdTagged 上海后花园龙凤网, 上海夜网GM, 上海完美kb最新情况, 东吴水韵价目表, 夜上海论坛MU, 微信附近人400一次, 成都喝茶上门, 杭州西湖阁, 爬花楼广州, 爱上海BB, 爱上海CN, 爱上海TKLeave a Comment on Dele Alli keen to help young teammates through lockdown
Alumna uses experience with cancer to help others
Photo courtesy of Thuy Thanh TruongAs she chuckled at the irony of the situation, Thuy Thanh Truong confessed her shock when she received the news in September of last year."I was like, what? How is that even possible? The person who goes to the gym every single day and doesn't even smoke," Truong said.She initially went to the doctor for back pain and had planned a meeting later that day. Even after the diagnosis, she had no intention of missing it. After she presented, they spoke about moving forward with the project, but she trailed off, contemplating what she had just heard from her doctor: Stage 4 lung cancer.Born in Vietnam, Truong immigrated to the United States in 2003 with her parents to pursue her education. After graduating from USC in 2009 with a bachelor's degree in computer science, she moved back to Vietnam against her parents' wishes to continue her career as an entrepreneur. Now at 32, she's already been deemed "Vietnam's startup queen" by BBC and featured in Forbes Vietnam's "30 under 30" list.On the day of her diagnosis, Truong recalls speaking to her cousin, a surgeon."He said, 'If you're going to stay in Vietnam, you're going to go for more procedures here," Truong said. She recalls how she replied decisively, "No, let me go back to the U.S." Two weeks later she was at the USC Norris Comprehensive Cancer Center in Los Angeles beginning her treatment."You just want to be at a place where you feel at home, and USC Norris feels like my home," Truong said. During her undergraduate career at USC, Truong founded Hackathon at the University of Science at Vietnam National University, an event for tech students to network and show off their app-building skills. After graduation, she went back to Vietnam and immersed herself in various business ventures to hone her entrepreneurship experience. Today, Truong continues to formulate dynamic enterprises which make an impact while she undergoes treatment for lung cancer. She and Peter Kuhn, a USC professor of medicine and biomedical engineering, developed an initiative for another Hackathon, Hack for Health, this time with cancer resources in mind. She credits her motivation for the event to the uncertainty of what the future held."I used to spend two years developing an app, but I don't know how much time I have left, so instead of developing 20 apps in two years, I'll develop 10 apps in two minutes," Truong said.Truong is also working with a team of volunteers for her recent non-profit program, Salt Cancer Initiative, designed to bring support to cancer patients in Vietnam. The lightbulb for SCI went off while she was taking a yoga class during her treatment at USC Norris. "When I first got diagnosed, I went to the class every week and got inspired by the teacher and the class," Truong said. "I thought, I wish that they had a class like that for cancer patients in Vietnam."Today 100 SCI volunteers host monthly meet-ups throughout Vietnam for patients, weekly yoga classes at upscale fitness clubs and coloring, singing and drawing activities for children battling the disease in hospitals — each owned or organized by USC alumni.With the average salary in Vietnam less than $2,000 annually, the membership fee to the fitness club where SCI hosts yoga classes for patients is higher than what most people can afford. Truong said she chose this club in particular not only because it was owned by a USC alum, but also because of its state-of-the-art facilities. "It's something very few people in Vietnam have experienced before," Truong said. "Because they have cancer, we don't know how much time they have left. They could have three months left, six months left, three years left. It doesn't matter — I want them to experience something they've never experienced before."Truong's roots are strong in Vietnam; after graduation, she returned to start her first company, a frozen yogurt shop. The shop lasted three years and expanded to five stores, but Truong eventually shut down the company, citing lack of experience. Truong didn't, however, let her first unsuccessful business run slow her down, and quickly switched gears to her next venture.In 2013, she and a former classmate from USC developed GreenGar, a mobile application and development team that created the popular application Whiteboard, allowing users to work collaboratively from various devices.GreenGar became the first company in Vietnam to be accepted to the 500 Startup Accelerated Program in Silicon Valley, but after a year of not being able to fundraise and scale up the business, Truong went back to the drawing board to start her third company, Tappy, a social messaging app.Tappy quickly rose to success when it was bought by Weeby.co, a cloud-based game building software in Mountain View, Calif., for a seven-figure sum. Truong stayed involved with the company for more than a year before she became restless for yet another new experience. She decided to leave for a two-month solo road trip across the U.S., from California to New York, visiting national and state parks. It was after the cross-country trip that Truong received her lung cancer diagnosis. Truong is currently undergoing treatment for a target drug she qualified for after DNA testing at USC. If the drug is not effective, she will soon begin chemotherapy."I have the Trojan Family who support me in everything I do," Truong said. "It's a real family. Once you're a Trojan, you're Trojan for life."When discussing the fight ahead of her, Truong references the late Apple CEO Steve Jobs, who accomplished debatably his most esteemed work while being treated for cancer before his death."There are a few things that the world wants to have before they take me away," Truong said. "I don't know what it is yet, but I hope for the best." read more
Posted in syfnvwigTagged 南京陪游微信群, 杭州萧山靠谱新茶, 杭州西湖阁, 温州喝茶的地方你懂, 爱上海FA, 爱上海HS, 爱上海NG, 爱上海UJ, 爱上海WA, 爱上海YQ, 闵行蝴蝶验证归来, 阿拉爱上海龙凤2020Leave a Comment on Alumna uses experience with cancer to help others
Lindsey Graham Wins a Fourth Term in South Carolina, Beating Jaime Harrison
Tampa Bay Buccaneers arrive in Charlotte after seven-hour plane delay | NFL News
SARS vaccine linked to liver damage in ferret study
Signed Agreement on cooperation in the implementation of the Operational Plan for the development of cycling tourism in Šibenik-Knin County
Natural phenomena – added value of the tourism sector
ahgivycf
ayilfdrn
cogvnzoj
ddnnvrzn
dulhpiyl
eklwjpsi
fdyhxobt
fdytmnef
gmuhotby
itqmjvcr
mmovnnjo
nchtqlxc
ncwwllxv
osvhhmwd
pbwptdvc
qkednflz
rfnqzthr
syfnvwig
sylgtiyd
ubxnahzg
wmgiquoa
xpadczmu
xsovhion
znjpylvm

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


text:
Poldasht (; Azerbaijani: Daş Körpü , also Romanized as Pol Dasht, Pol'desht, Pol-e Dasht, and Pul Dasht; also known as Araplar) is a city in the Central District of Poldasht County, West Azerbaijan province, Iran, and serves as capital of the county. At the 2006 census, its population was 8,584 in 2,205 households. The following census in 2011 counted 9,963 people in 2,658 households. The latest census in 2016 showed a population of 11,472 people in 3,377 households, all of them Azerbaijanis. The city lies on the western bank of the Aras River.

Poldasht is a Persian word meaning arable land by the bridge. The city is situated near the border crossing with the Nakhchivan Autonomous Republic of Azerbaijan. Across the Poldasht-Shah Takhti Bridge over the Aras is the Azerbaijani village of Şahtaxtı. It is one of the two Iran-Nakhchivan border crossings; the other is located near the city of Jolfa in East Azerbaijan Province. Also adjacent to Poldasht is the Aras River Dam.

References

Poldasht County

Cities in West Azerbaijan Province

Populated places in West Azerbaijan Province

Populated places in Poldasht County

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


The National Botanic Garden of Wales are investigating which flowers honey bees forage on to help inform future choices when it comes to managing habitats and planting pollinator-friendly flowers.
We look forward to hearing back in order to gain a greater understanding of our bees focusing on what they forage on.
Find out more information from the National Botanic Garden of Wales official website here.


text:
Mysterious Places Of Russia: Three-island Temple
Amazing discoveries
Unsolved riddles
Video: Take a Tour of a Soviet-Era Ghost Town at the Edge of the World | Short Film Showcase 2023, February
For a long time people knew that the temple of Tryokostrovskoye in the Volgograd region is not an easy place. Above the sanctuary, lights flashed by themselves and flew over the ground in the darkness. Sometimes a pillar of blue light hit the sky from underground. Such a temple is the only one in Europe.
Since the middle of the nineteenth century, there has been a legend that the "Navel of the Earth" hides countless treasures. True, not one of the treasure hunters who went in search of wealth returned with the booty.
The building got its name from the nearby village of Trehostrovskaya. The sanctuary "started talking" about its secrets in the mid-nineties. Archaeologist Skripkin became the author of the sensation. The amazing place has reached almost untouched by modern scientists, since they could not immediately determine the nature of the sanctuary, and therefore research was not carried out for a long time.
They first became interested in the "Navel of the Earth" in the twenties of the last century. No results were obtained. The expedition that began the excavation set off backward, faced with insurmountable obstacles. None of their participants could explain their reasons.
In an incomprehensible way, ready for research, the site, already excavated the day before, regained its original appearance, and from above it seemed to be trampled down. The bewildered archaeologists saw the same thing after a whole day of work.
Now the picture was complemented by the release from the leash of the horses scattered around the neighborhood. The researchers realized that someone strongly disliked their idea and left the unfriendly place. Work resumed only in the nineties.
It turned out that the cult sanctuary of fire worshipers was hidden from view. A five-meter stove, which served as a ritual fire, towered in the middle of a regular circle. She worked without interruption for many centuries.
The vent in the form of a wide pipe was open, and the walls and bottom were enclosed with white stone. From above, after filling the stove with wood, the priests laid cobblestones and limestone. The logs were then set on fire to make them smolder, filling the entire area with dark smoky clouds. The smoke was an offering to an ancient deity. The fire was kept up constantly.
The size of the sanctuary is impressive. The area surrounded by a moat reaches 200 m in diameter. This is one and a half times larger than the famous Stonehenge. It is impossible to say exactly the age, however, according to scientists, it is at least 2500 years old.
Not a single confirmation of the existence of a settlement was found at this place. Neither artifacts nor remains were found. Therefore, it was concluded that there were no dwellings. The top layer of the soil hid a cake of unburned coal, petrified ash, chalk and clay, reminiscent of solidified lava.
Such an alloy is obtained only by sintering in an industrial furnace, but not on a fire. Scientists have never been able to figure out how the ancient people managed to achieve such temperatures.
Tourists willingly visit the "Donskoy" temple located in a pair. They take with them as souvenirs ice stones from the moment of excavation on the surface. According to popular beliefs, they grant wishes. However, cobblestones are often brought back: according to the owners, the appearance of artifacts in the house activates poltergeists.
There is also no consensus on the issue of the appearance of the sanctuary. There is a version that the "Navel of the Earth" was built by the ancient Zoroastrians, who made fires very far from the temples, and the grave of Zorathustra himself is hidden in the steppes. Another hypothesis refers to the ancient nomads who used the place at times, who did not use it constantly.
Ufologists insist that this place has never been any religious building. They are confident that the anomaly is a landing site. The layer of cake also speaks in favor of their hypothesis.
Bioenergy scientists have discovered that in the middle of the earth a powerful source of energy beats.They associate its appearance with the location of the landmark in a kind of triangle and the power of ancient rituals. The power is such that you can feel it even without equipment.
Many consider the temple to be surprisingly mystical, because everyone here experiences amazing sensations. Travelers admitted that they have self-confidence, harmony and peace.


Packing for a business trip or even a vacation can be stressful and overwhelming. The #1 mistake most travelers make is either over-packing or packing the wrong pieces. RiStyled's Travel Wardrobe Services are crucial for unremitting travelers as well as first-timers.
Before you begin packing, we identify which events you will be attending, the places you will be visiting and plan a strategic wardrobe ensemble with plenty of emergency back-up items for unanticipated weather. This includes specific pieces that can be worn in many different ways that go from office to dinner without packing your entire closet.
RiStyled helps you pack lighter while tripling your outfit and wardrobe options.
Whether your travels include important business meetings or an island getaway, you will be packed and ready for the adventure ahead.
Discover the pro traveler's secrets to comfortable, stylish, vacation-ready looks.


text:
Your New Look Buccaneers
Posted on April 4, 2009 by Chris Humpherys — 9 Comments ↓
A friend texted me the other night. I was playing poker at my local house game while tipping back a few. His text read simply "Cutler a Buc!!!"
I read the text with mixed emotions. The Jay Cutler sweepstakes were still in full effect at that point. At first, a wave of excitement rushed over me. I started high-fiving my friends at the table. Our beloved Buccaneers had landed the best off-season quarterback available, outbidding all other suitors, aka, Washington, Detroit, Carolina, Chicago and the like.
The move made perfect sense, or at least it seemed consistent with the wheeling and dealing the franchise had engaged in since Jon Gruden's departure. This new Buccaneer regime, led by newly appointed GM Mark Dominik and head coach Raheem Morris, has wasted no time putting their imprints on the organization. Cutler appeared to be one more piece to the puzzle. A big piece.
Minutes later, I received another text from the same friend that read "April Fools!" As it turned out, the Chicago Bears now have the Vanderbilt product behind center and the Buccaneers starting quarterback position remains a question mark.
Even though I was initially excited about Tampa Bay landing Cutler, one of the best young quarterbacks in the game, there was still a touch of skepticism in the move. Some have proclaimed him the next John Elway, others the next Jeff George. Cutler showed his age and immaturity in his handling of the Denver situation once he found out he was the discussion of trade talks. Trade me, don't trade me, feelings hurt. That's not to say Broncos' brass wasn't also to blame. But did this new look Buccaneers team really want this man as the face of their franchise, particularly when he came with such a heavy price tag? The Bucs sold their soul to land former head coach, Jon Gruden, sending away first-round draft picks and cash. Denver was asking a similar price. The last time the Bucs landed a former Bronco quarterback, he didn't even play a down.
As it stands right now, Luke McCown is penciled in ever so lightly as the Bucs starting quarterback, with Brian Griese and Josh Johnson likely giving him at least a run for his money. Yet none of those quarterbacks strike fear in the heart of opposing defensive coordinators, which is why the Bucs are heavily rumored to be looking for a QB in the first round of the draft, namely either Mark Sanchez from USC if he's still around when the Bucs select at 19, or Josh Freeman out of Kansas State, who they're apparently very high on. Raheem Morris coached the 6'6", 250 pounder at Kansas State in 2006 and loved him. Freeman could be a long-term solution to the quarterback inconsistencies that plagued the Gruden era, i.e. nine different starters in seven years. By the 19th pick, Freeman should still be available. Another option is Florida's multi-purpose threat, Percy Harvin, if he's still on the board, but his workouts indicate he might be gone by then. Or the Bucs could choose to shore up their defensive line where they certainly need the help. Either way, the Bucs do not have a second round pick so they better make their first pick count.
The Bucs have had an interesting off-season to be sure. The new regime wasted no time this spring, making significant moves to overhaul the franchise. Monte Kiffin is now in Knoxville, Tennessee and Raheem Morris went from replacement defensive coordinator to head coach in a matter of weeks. The organization is doing their best to ensure its fan base is paying attention. Can you say facelift? When they take the field in 2009, your Tampa Bay Bucs will be as unrecognizable as Meg Ryan.
Gone are the traditional mainstays: Derrick Brooks, Cato June, Joey Galloway, Ike Hilliard, Warrick Dunn, Chris Simms, Jeff Garcia and oh yeah… Jon Gruden. In with the new, and make no mistake about it. This is Dominik's and Morris' team. It is their way or the causeway.
The Bucs have been as active as any NFL team this spring, including making serious pushes for not only Cutler, but also DT Albert Haynesworth, who was eventually signed by the Washington Redskins for $100 million. When's the last time you remember the Bucs paying nine figures for something other than a new stadium? Yet they were in the running which is more than can be said about their recent efforts.
The Bucs made huge splashes in trading for Cleveland's Kellen Winslow, Jr., re-signing WRs Antonio Bryant and Michael Clayton, and adding former Giants RB Derrick Ward to help the consistently ailing Carnell Williams. Expect a more effective running attack in 2009 as this Bucs team will definitely run the football.
On defense, which has been the Bucs' identity since the Dungy days, the Tampa 2 scheme is likely a thing of the past. Defensive Coordinator Jim Bates is even trying players out at new positions. Safety Jermaine Phillips is learning to play linebacker. Defensive end Gaines Adams may switch sides of the line. There will be growing pains to be sure. At least Ronde is still around.
The release of #55 was not a popular move. The city was nearly in mourning. One needed only look at a dejected Coach Morris at the press conference when they announced Brooks' release, his usual pearly whites nowhere to be seen. If Coach Morris wasn't already familiar that the NFL can be a cold, harsh business, he got a crash course his first month in office. With Brooks gone, leadership on and off the field will now have to come from somewhere else and that remains a question mark.
That being said, the majority of Tampa's off-season moves have been for the positive. Fans have to be encouraged that ownership and management are determined to put a winning product on the field. Morris' energy is contagious. His spring practices have been refreshing, but no walk in the park. He brings a new, upbeat attitude, looking brightly into the future of the franchise. Hip-hop blares on the practice field in place of the coarse and hoarse yelling of years past. And the coaching staff had to be encouraged by the fact that nearly every player under contract showed up for involuntary workouts.
Fans should be encouraged too. Yes, we'll be seeing some unfamiliar faces in the red and pewter this year, but as they say… winning cures all ills and that is just what this team intends to do.
This entry was posted in Pigskin and tagged Antonio Bryant, Chicago Bears, Denver Broncos, Derrick Brooks, Derrick Ward, Jake Plummer, Jay Cutler, Jeff Garcia, Jeff George, John Elway, Jon Gruden, Josh Freeman, Kellen Winslow Jr., Luke McCown, Monte Kiffin, NFL, Raheem Morris, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Warrick Dunn by Chris Humpherys. Bookmark the permalink.
9 thoughts on "Your New Look Buccaneers"
tophatal on April 5, 2009 at 9:51 pm said:
I don't know that we'll know what to expect from the Buccaneers.
My own thought is that until we know the through mindset of Morris and in
particular GM Mark Dominik. We'll just have to wait and see what'll materialize. Presently
it just looks as if they're doing it by the numbers.
Be that as it may , one can see the inexperience of both by way of their actions.
Eric Jewell on April 5, 2009 at 10:25 pm said:
Dude, very good stuff brother, I liked it and my wife did as well.
Sports Chump on April 6, 2009 at 7:01 pm said:
Al… I think Tampa residents will be patient, don't you?
Brotha E, the newest Buccaneers fan, pays a visit.
The Bucs, and I, would like to thank you for your unwavering support.
Club level seats next time you roll down.
Reverend Rhythm (Chris)
They'll be patient up to point. But once that point has been
met. I'd dare say that they'll be beighing for blood.
I mean what on earth would lead you to now believe that by them re-signing
Kellen Winslow Jr to 6 year $36.1m contract with an additional $6m plus in incentives,
that they're indeed on the right path ?
And never mind the fact that lumped in with that is $20.1m signing bonus ?
The guy hasn't been in a Bucs' uniform as of yet much less played a down and they're
spending that sort of money on him ? Call me naive but shouldn't he first prove himself
to the team and his teammates before he's treated to the keys to the castle ?
tophatal on April 14, 2009 at 9:33 pm said:
Let me know what you think as to the merits of the following ?
Bearing in mind what took place between the Rays and Yankees. It
was one hell of drubbing by the Rays over the Yankees.
Have You Had Your Can of Whup Ass Today ? As Prescribed To The Yankees
I can only surmise that this was a little more than a night off for
the boys in pinstripes.
Sports Chump on April 15, 2009 at 4:38 pm said:
Tophat… I think the Rays are here to stay. I like the way they tied the game up 2-2 late last night, but apparently that wasn't enough.
Be right over to check out your post.
tophatal on April 16, 2009 at 12:58 pm said:
The real problem I have with the Rays. It's the
susceptibility of their bullpen. They just can't be trusted
at all to close out a game. Balfour and Percival just
aren't cuttin' it. And the longer that Maddon continues to rely
on them both. The more disdain the fans'll have for both players.
If they can see that clearly that neither can do their job. Then
tell me then what it is that Maddon sees in them both ? Loyalty to a
player can only go so far.
Chris Humpherys on April 17, 2009 at 11:52 am said:
Speaking of Vandy products, what are they gonna do with that kid Price?
Closer or starter?


Silver Style Entertainment was a German game developer that was founded in 1993. In 2006, they became an in house development team for The Games Company. In July 2010, The Games Company went bankrupt. Intellectual property owned by The Games Company was purchased by Kalypso Media. The Silver Style Entertainment label is no longer used.
Simon has to save the Magic Kingdom from an outer space invasion.
Simon recieves a vision from the wizard Calypso's grand daughter, Alix, warning him of danger.


text:
Stunning Fiction for 2021
The Law of Innocence
Published:10 Nov 2020
THE MOST IMPORTANT CASE OF HIS LIFE. ONLY THIS TIME THE DEFENDANT IS HIMSELF. "The law of innocence is unwritten.
It will not be found in a leather-bound code book. It will never be argued in a courtroom. In nature, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
In the law of innocence, for every man not guilty of a crime there is a man out there who is. And to prove true innocence the guilty man must be found and exposed to the world."* * * * *Heading home after winning his latest case, defense attorney Mickey Haller – The Lincoln Lawyer – is pulled over by the police. They open the trunk of his car to find the body of a former client.
Haller knows the law inside out. He will be charged with murder. He will have to build his case from behind bars.
And the trial will be the trial of his life. Because Mickey Haller will defend himself in court. With watertight evidence stacked against him, Haller will need every trick in the book to prove he was framed.
But a not-guilty verdict isn't enough. In order to truly walk free, Haller knows he must find the real killer – that is the law of innocence… * * * * *CRIME DOESN'T COME BETTER THAN CONNELLY.
ISBN: 9781409186106 Categories: 21st Century Fiction, Crime and Mystery, Fantastic Fiction for 2020, Stunning Fiction for 2021, Thriller/Suspense
Published:2 Mar 2021 A New York Times Bestseller SOMETIMES GROWING UPMEANS FACING YOUR DEMONS The son of a struggling single mother, Jamie Conklin just wants an ordinary childhood. But Jamie is no ordinary child. Born with an unnatural ability his mom urges him to keep secret, Jamie can see what no one else can see and learn what no one...
An Unexpected Peril
Published:2 Mar 2021 A New York Times Bestseller
The Mothers
A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Published:30 Apr 2020 FROM THE NUMBER ONE BESTSELLING AUTHOR'Dazzlingly inventive'Sunday Times, Crime Book of the Month'A meticulously plotted exploration of friendship, foe-ship and the lies that bind, which builds to a gripping and powerful conclusion'Cara Hunter********** FIVE WOMEN. They meet at their NCT Group. The only thing they have in common is they're all pregnant....
Northern Spy
Published:3 Feb 2022 A Reese Witherspoon's Book Club Pick
The Sanatorium
Published:18 Feb 2021 AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER AND A REESE'S BOOK CLUB PICK An imposing, isolated hotel, high up in the Swiss Alps, is the last place Elin Warner wants to be. But she's taken time off from her job as a detective, so when she receives an invitation out of the blue to celebrate her estranged brother's recent...
Squeeze Me
A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Published:10 Sep 2020 t's the height of the Palm Beach charity ball season: for every good cause, there's a reason for the local luminaries to eat (minimally), drink (maximally), and be seen. But when prominent high-society dowager Kiki Pew suddenly vanishes during a swanky gala, and is later found dead, panic and chaos erupt. Kiki...


Sometimes we're so stressed we need to reach for the bottle. No, I'm not advocating drowning you're sorrows or steeling those nerves with some overproof courage. I'm talking about keeping some handy mineral and vitamin supplements in easy reach for when you'd really prefer to be underwhelmed rather than over. The body's stress response is to release adrenalin and cortisol into the bloodstream and it doesn't matter what the trigger is, this is going to happen every time. These two hormones burn up the Vitamin B group, plus Vitamin C, magnesium and zinc like there's no tomorrow, and once these nutrients are consumed by your anxiety, they're no longer available for other parts of your body. A good example is collagen – it needs Vitamin C and zinc – without these your skin is in trouble…and you won't have anything to make your white blood cells either. Likewise, a loss of magnesium can cause headaches and even raise your blood pressure – while the Vitamin B group is needed for brain functions and energy to keep the body-show on the road. The simple fact is, no matter what is stressing you, be it a sabre-tooth tiger or your insurance bill, you are burning nutrients that have to be replaced – and if you don't, even more things could go wrong. So reach for that bottle…and make sure it has Vitamin B1, B2, B3, B5, B6, B7, B9, B12, C, magnesium or zinc on it. In fact, have a crunchy cocktail and make sure you have all of them.
Over the last 21 years Setter's Health Centre has continually offered Bowen Therapy to the beautiful city of Townsville in Queensland, Australia. At the end of November 2012, we celebrated 21 years as a Bowen Therapist operating in this wonderful city. We would like to thank all of you who have walked though my door over the last 21 years and allowed us to help you through some very trying times in your lives. It has been a wonderful journey to be your Bowen Therapist and to watch as you have recovered from your injuries through Bowen Therapy.


Tate Mid Sleeper, Ivory | Great Little Trading Co.
This sturdy raised bed is fun to sleep in and saves space in smaller bedrooms. You can use it on its own or team it up with the matching Tate Chest of Drawers, Tate Storage Cupboard, and Tate Roll-out Desk; all these pieces fit neatly underneath or can be used free standing - buy them all via the Tate Mid Sleeper Bed Set, or just select the pieces that work for you. Bed includes a clip-on bedside table and a ladder with deep, easy to climb steps.
All our children's beds are safe, sturdy and tested to BS EN: 747; that's why we're happy to offer a Five Year Warranty on all our children's beds. The Tate Mid Sleeper bed is made from solid pine, with MDF panels, a solid pine slatted base and a painted Ivory finish. An assembly service is available on this bed (£100).
Please note this bed requires a longer, European Single mattress. We recommend our Luxury All Rounder Mattress (Euro Single); it's the correct depth to use on mid sleeper beds and is pocket sprung for superior comfort. For more information please see our Mattress Buying Guide.


The Silicon Valley Historical Association, also known as the Santa Clara Valley Historical Association (SCVHA), is a 501 (c) (3) non-profit.
The Historical Association's mission is to research and record the history of Silicon Valley to help future generations understand this unique and important culture.
For over 27 years, the Silicon Valley Historical Association has published books, filmed interviews of world-impacting individuals, produced documentary films, and maintained an archive on the history of Silicon Valley — covering its cities, companies, individuals, high-technologies and parallels with the European Renaissance period.


Project Management That Works!: Padding....is it really bad?
The great debate for project managers....is padding an estimate bad? In my new book, I say that padding is one of the worst things that you can do because it proves that you do not believe your own estimates!
As part of a new series of blog posts, I will be responding to questions that have been sent me in response to the book Stop Playing Games! The first question that I received was, "Padding is for known and unknown risks and events in the future. Why do you say padding is bad?"
Padding is actually not for known and unknown risks. It is actually a blanket percentage that a project manager will put on top of their estimates just to cover them from blowing their budget. It generally isn't scientific or have any thought pattern behind it other than lumping a generic percentage on top. This practice has been around for ages. We have conditioned our executives by doing this practice. They have learned that they can cut 10-20% of the budget without consequence. They are aware of the padding and are accustomed to chopping off a generic percentage. Thus, the game is played. Can you out add a generic percentage that your sponsor will cut?
This generally all occurs without too much conversation as well. This game is played and is played in silence. To combat this, there should be an honest conversation. The project manager should be honest in their estimates and use risk and risk information to plan for a true contingency. This is not padding, but a practice known as contingency planning. Once the contingency is planned and the reasons for it are documented, present that to the sponsor. When they try to remove a generic percentage, challenge them with the planned contingency and explain why it is there.
Having an honest conversation and talking about risk versus padding can lead to a true budget fostered in trust between the sponsor and project manager. That is a fantastic place to start!
But, Even if Project manager does not add this percentage, Experts and the other member of estimation group will do it in their head to be safe. I saw sometimes project managers cut a percentage of estimation because of padding by the estimators.
If you are a good project manager, you should communicate with different people. Sometimes not even in English. So you'd probably need a top 10 translation services to help you to be the best in our field.


text:
Meet the companies and institutions with the most complaints in a record year of complaints
Nuno Melo appointed European Parliament rapporteur for the digitization of justice
New automotive group Stellantis debuts on the Milan stock exchange
Companies that switch from support to recovery to 'lay-off' have to register withdrawal
Explorer CEO Rodrigo Guimarães dies
Filipe Garcia, IMF Economist - Financial Market Information
No excuses
José Varela Rodrigues	 10:10
Despite being at the White House's exit door, Donald Trump remains committed to weakening Huawei, the largest manufacturer of telecommunications equipment, by considering the company as a threat to American security.
PremiumSocial Networks: Censorship and self-regulation
João Tereso Casimiro	 16 January
The decision to suspend or ban Donald Trump from social media has brought a new reality that is far from consensual. Many government officials and academics remember that freedom of expression is a right, but the narrow line that separates hate speech and disinformation, and the power of the 'big tech', creates new challenges for democracy.
Whatsapp decides to postpone update of privacy policy that will allow sharing data with Facebook
José Varela Rodrigues	 16 January
"We will give more time for everyone to review our policy before May 15, 2021, the date when new business options will become available," said Whatsapp.
FC Barcelona account on TikTok helped club get closer to fans
For the sixth consecutive year, the Catalan club leads in 'likes', comments and shares.
PremiumFirst day of the main phase of the 5G auction generates more than 180 million euros
Bidding phase of the bands essential to 5G generates interest, despite the criticism of the 'players' to the regulator. Four rounds took place.
Google completes $ 2,1 billion acquisition of Fitbit
The companies obtained approval from the European Union's antitrust body in December 2021, after Google accepted the restrictions on how it will use customers' health data.


text:
After 9/11 I cancelled my trip to the USA
Amke Lehr realized the full implications of the terrorist attacks on 11 September, 2001, when she cancelled her plans to travel to the U.S.A.–a trip she had been looking forward to–when she realized how much new security had been instituted. At the time she resented being treated "like a criminal," but looking back she understood why it had to be that way.
Storyteller: Amke Lehr
Date of Story: mid 2000s
Location of Story: Karlsruhe, Germany
Date: 6 September, 2016
1989: Packed a hammer to fly to Berlin
Havilande Whitcomb was living in London in 1989 when she and her husband decided to visit Berlin, sensing historic changes were underway. The Berlin Wall fell just as they were leaving, prompting her to bring a hammer to chip away a piece of this symbol of the Cold War. Little did she know she should have brought a chisel…
Storyteller: Havilande Whitcomb
Date of Story: November, 1989
Location of Story: Berlin, Germany
Date: 24 August, 2016
Checkpoint Charlie as the Berlin Wall fell
Havilande Whitcomb was a tourist in Berlin the weekend its famous Wall fell in November 1989. She describes how armed guards at the Brandenburg Gate and Checkpoint Charlie were still posted there as the Wall came down, but they were unsure how to react to the floods of people crossing the border between East and West Berlin.
My grandfather moved to the US with a quarter in his pocket
Daniel Galadza tells the story of his Grandfather Mykhaylo, who was given a quarter found in the collection plate of his church in Western Ukraine, which was then part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. After World War II he and his family moved to the US, where he used the quarter to start a new life.
Storyteller: Daniel Galadza
Date of Story: 1940s
Location of Story: Western Ukraine
Date: 13 June, 2016
Citizen Historian: Mykhaylo Palahitskyy
Six nations trained the Peshmerga
Hevi Shorash served both her home nations, Kurdistan and Germany, acting as a bridge between the two after the fight against the Islamic State had begun. She recalls the importance of the Kurdistan Training Coordination Center, where six nations provided rotating trainings to Kurdish Peshmerga forces fighting the group.
Storyteller: Hevi Shorash
Date of Story: 24 March, 2015
Location of Story: Erbil, Kurdistan Region of Iraq
Location: Bayerisch Gmain, Germany
Date: 23 February, 2016
I would have starved if I was only reporting
Karin Kneissl talks about the boom in industrial innovation and production in Europe before World War I, and how the continent has shifted deindustrialized in recent decades. She also discusses how it is extremely difficult to make a living as a journalist today, and how one's income must be supplemented by other forms of work. The lack of compensation for financial risk has taken its toll, replacing journalism with communication.
Storyteller: Karin Kneissl
Date of Story: 1880s-today
Location of Story: Vienna, Austria
Date: 4 May, 2016
In Aleppo, majority of computer science students were women
Rami Rihawi started to learn programming in 2010, when web development was thriving in the economic capital of pre-civil war Syria. He says he was shocked to see that a majority of students studying computer science at the University of Aleppo were women. When he left Syria to come to Germany, he found that by far most of the programmers at the Technical University in Berlin were male.
Storyteller: Rami Rihawi
Date of Story: 2010-2015
Location of Story: Aleppo, Syria
Date: 11 March, 2016
Fairy Tales of February
One of the two Brothers Grimm, Wilhelm, was born exactly 230 years ago on 24 February, 1786. One of the two authors of The Children's and Household Tales, more commonly known to us as Grimm's Fairy Tales.
Although both brothers grew up sharing a bed, table, room, authorship, all property, and even lived in the same house once Wilhelm was married, the two were very, very different types of folks.
Wilhelm was chronically sick, more poetic, and more interested in helping the stories reach a broader audience with translation. He also envisioned a different audience for their most popular work.
"We really wished the "Fairy Tales" to be an educational book, since I know nothing that is more nourishing, more innocent and refreshing for childlike powers and nature," he wrote.
Meanwhile his more bookish brother Jacob intended the collection for "adults and serious people."
Are #FairyTales for kids or adults? #OTD Wilhelm Grimm b. 1786
The stripped down, unembellished style of this classic work doesn't necessarily mean it's for kids; they intentionally wanted to let these stories speak for themselves, as they were mostly classic folktales shard through the generations by ordinary people.
Perhaps you read these stories as a child, or as an adult. Let us know and share your stories of the role of fairy tales in your childhood, or what what folktales have been shared with you when you were older.
Although their audience may change through the ages, the Brothers Grimm were some of the great storytellers of all time, devoting their lives to collecting priceless folktales from all over the world and ensuring their safety.
While we use digital tools to try to preserve memories, we look back and thank Wilhelm and Jacob for their commitment to saving stories, rescuing many from obscurity and exposing them to a much larger audience.
An Italian student in 1990s Germany
Scientist Mario Alemi compares his experience as a university student in Germany with that in Italy in the 1990s.
Storyteller:Mario Alemi
Location of Story: Marburg, Germany
This post is part of a collaboration with author Davide Rubini to collect the stories of Italy in the aftermath of the "Bribesville" (Tangentopoli) scandals of the 1990s. Find out more about Rubini's new novel, il fischio finale (The Final Blow).
The internet changed activism
Scientist Mario Alemi discusses how major developments in digital technology transformed political engagement in society.
Date of Story: 1990-present
Location of Story: Italy


text:
U Pilot Plant Helped Food Startup Develop New Production Method
When Aleh Manchuliantsau conceived of a way to turn the "waste" material from sunflower oil production into a nutritious, sustainable snack, he knew the idea would need to be tested—and industry advisers told him the University of Minnesota was the place to do it.
Manchuliantsau, founder and CEO of food startup Planetarians, came to the U's Joseph J. Warthesen Food Processing Center, also known as the "Pilot Plant," to develop his new production method. The specialized equipment and knowledgeable staff at the Pilot Plant, which is part of the College of Food, Agricultural, and Natural Resource Sciences, allowed him to run feasibility tests that brought his high-protein, high-fiber sunflower chips closer to market.
"As a food entrepreneur, the Pilot Plant was a holy grail to me," he said. "There's such a large amount of equipment sitting in one location. I was astonished by the fact that whenever I asked, 'Do we have this?' the answer was 'Sure.'"
Manchuliantsau's interest in creating new, healthy foods stemmed from a desire to eat more nutritiously outside of the home, when cooking isn't an option. He first thought of using typical high-protein health food ingredients, like isolated soy protein, but realized that such ingredients not only cost a lot, but also cut out an important benefit of many plant-based foods: fiber.
While isolated proteins are expensive, oilcakes—the dry material left over after manufactures press out the oil from plant seeds—are cheap. Sunflower oilcakes, specifically, have more protein by volume than beef or chicken. Manchuliantsau starting thinking about how to take this potential food source and "upcycle" it—turn it from a waste product into something useful.
"Why should we isolate the protein and again waste what's left?" he said. "The second part of the oilcake is fiber. We thought, 'What if we keep both the protein and the fiber?'"
That thought helped Manchuliantsau come up with an idea to solve the main obstacle with oilcakes: their woodchip-like hardness made them impossible to eat as-is. By exposing it to high pressure and high heat through a controlled steam explosion, however, he believed he could "puff" the oilcakes into a crunchy snack.
The benefits of this idea promised to be more than just economical. According to Planetarians, repurposing the more than 330 million metric tons of oilcakes produced in 2017 alone could provide an environmentally friendly way to feed up to 1.5 billion more people, without the need to grow extra crops.
Steam-Powered Snacks
The next step was putting the steam explosion method to the test.
In April and May of 2017, Manchuliantsau and Anastasia Tkacheva, Planetarians' chief mixologist, set up shop at the U's Pilot Plant. While the facility provides a wide assortment of specialized equipment for the purpose of advancing food product research and teaching at the U, its capabilities can also help food companies, from startups to industry leaders, develop new processes or product lines.
The first task was ensuring that a steam explosion, which could be triggered using the Pilot Plant's extruder machine, would "puff" the snack as hoped. That worked, so Manchuliantsau and Tkacheva began to check other questions off their list.
Did the nutrients survive in the sunflower chip after the steam explosion, or were they "cooked" out? Did the chip contain the right amino acids for good nutrition? Was the process economical? One after another, the tests turned up positive.
With the basics figured out, they moved on to analyzing the texture of the snack, using the Pilot Plant to test starches, like potato and tapioca, to see if these ingredients would improve the chip's crunchy texture without sacrificing nutrition. Flavor testing followed, with the team working to narrow 72 different seasoning options, including more than a dozen variations on barbecue alone, down to just a few flavors.
By the end of the two months, the Pilot Plant testing had helped Manchuliantsau set his sights on moving Planetarians' sunflower chips to market.
blog-inline-planetarians.jpg
Reaching Grocery Shelves
After collaborating with the Pilot Plant, Manchuliantsau hit the road, traveling across the US to gather feedback from potential customers. Many approved of the snack's focus on nutrition and sustainability, he said, while others were pleased that the snack contains none of the eight most common food allergens, as designated by the FDA.
Around the same time, a three-month Techstars accelerator program helped Manchuliantsau advance Planetarians' business plan, make more connections in the food industry, and raise money from investors.
Today, the startup is manufacturing its sunflower chips a few hours outside of the Twin Cities from Minnesota-sourced ingredients. The company recently launched a round of seed investment to support the manufacturing effort and continue research and development. Manchuliantsau and Tkacheva hope to explore new flavors for the sunflower chips and also to create new foods, such as flours or purees, from the same upcycled oilcake ingredient.
With more than $35,000 in revenue so far from Amazon sales alone and plans to reach grocery store shelves soon, Manchuliantsau is optimistic about what's next for the company.
"Our biggest goal to prove with our sales was that customers are ready to buy better-for-you products and consider upcycling the food waste as a benefit," he said. "We have the technology, we have the ingredients, and we know that customers like it."
Watch the recent KSTP news segment on Planetarians:
ABC about PLANETARIANS (first aired on 03.19.18 6pm)
Video of ABC about PLANETARIANS (first aired on 03.19.18 6pm)
Kevin Coss
Kevin is a writer with the Office of the Vice President for Research.
coss@umn.edu
Last Modified: June 23, 2020 - 11:08am.


PS-Anyone else creeped out that you can do street view (different from google earth) on google maps now? You can see my house, cars, etc! It is nice to see what a store looks like but someone's house? Apparently street view is not available for all cities yet. With all the celebrity stalking cases in LA it seems a bit ironic that it is one of the first cities to have this option!
I think street view is crazy! One of my friends in Seattle was standing in his yard when they drove by to take the picture, so if you google his address you see his picture. Just him, chilling out in his yard.
I've seen the arial view of my housr a few times, in a few different place. Its so weird! You can see all of our patio furniture and in one of the pics, one of our cars is like halfway down the street or something random. Haha. Its so weird!!!
I am glad you found a store that will help you! Yes, that is CREEPY about google maps!
google street view is so weird. my car is in the picture of my house and you can see my dad though the bay window. very creepy.
I LOVE Google Street view. We got in Dallas before I left for Europe and it is so fun to play with!
I discovered the street view a few months ago. It was so crazy to see my house!!!
My roommate is obsessed with street view! She kept making me do it for a school she is student teaching at. I think its rather creepy. Yay for a monogram place, I need to find one at home!
You'll have to let me know about this monogram place. I have never heard of it.
Happy Sunday Miss Nautical, and congrats on finding a good place! We can say from experience, it was tough to locate the person who does all of the monograming for PreppyPrincess.com. You wouldn't think it would be that hard!
Grins & Giggles for your week ahead!
yay! One of my best friends has a monogram business and I use her all the time!
Yay for finding a monogram shop!
I am soooo not a fan. I emailed google and got them to take my car out of the street view. They didn't take it out but they did blur it sufficiently - before you could see my license plate number and everything. Such an invasion!


I had a very busy day at work, I was very tired, so one of those slow moving, scarcely talking movies, with long pauses during conversations, was not my cup of tea (or cup of film) for that evening. It's one of those features where every character philosophises about the nature of life and death before answering "Yes" to "Do you want some bread with your dinner?" And you want to shake them out of their nihilistic silence and make them scream to your face everything that's in their mind, rather than having to decipher for yourself what does the imperceptible noise of tree leaves mean, for over what seems more than five minutes.
Having said that, and still battling with myself at some point to try not to stand up and slap the face of some of the characters, and find myself slapping the screen instead, I enjoyed it overall. It was just my tiredness, I thought. But as the story developed, it got more interesting, and I found myself getting more and more involved with the main character, Sushenya (played by Vladimir Svirskiy) and his curse. And his curse was to be alive.
In the fog is the second feature film by Belorussian director Sergei Loznitsa, based on the novel by Vasili Bykov, a prolific Belorussian writer. Loznitsa is mostly known for his documentary films. His first feature My Joy, was selected for the main competition in 2010 Cannes Film Festival, and was awarded the Best Director's prize. Two years later, his second film competes for the Palme D'Or, and is awarded the FIPRESCI prize. Loznitsa collaborated with cinematographer Oleg Mutu, who had already worked with him on My Joy.
In the fog tells the story of a man who escapes fate (being hanged with his other partners in crime at the beginning of the film) during the German occupation of Belarus during the Second World War. And this turns into his curse: being alive is his curse; carrying the shame of being wrongly accused of treason over his shoulders, is his curse. And he escapes fate over and over: there are multiple occasions when he is about to be killed but somehow he ends up living. Even his executioners, Burov and Voitik (played by Vladislav Abashin and Sergei Kolesov) die before him. And since fate seems to not follow its natural course - as if teasing him - he decides to take matters into his own hands, and ends up (spoiler warning) killing himself.
The feature film In the fog is a poetic affaire, where cinematography speaks for itself: it is the framework that lays the foundations of the story and binds everything together, giving it meaning. The way it's shot reveals the characters' feelings: it is common to show the characters looking straight at the camera, uncovering everything they feel with their stare, having nowhere to hide. And then the other extreme: when the main character, Sushenya, leaves the German's quarters, carrying the shame with him, which he's not even responsible for, he's shot from behind. They show the back of his neck as he leaves, displaying that shame, and hiding his face and his feelings. The camera is metaphorically their mouth or their heart - a way for the characters to communicate with the viewer. The camera speaks for itself, it almost has a life of itself, and this is why the extremely long shots, the hand-held camera work mixed with more traditional techniques, depending on the situation the director and cinematographer want to convey.
In this film, words didn't tell the story, acting did. Even in the climax of the tale, words did not have the desired effect, and were of no assistance: in two occasions the main character tries to release his pain by sharing it with his fellow executors. We sense a minuscule moment of hope to be understood, and as he tries, his confessor dies in the act. In the other attempt, his listener hears but does not listen. Conclusion: there's no hope. At least in life. And it is at this moment when you feel his void, loud and clear. And painful. This is why he ends up killing himself.
All in all, it's the story of a man on a journey to his death, accompanied by his two executioners. And Death is almost another character, always present. It displays life during war time to the extreme of absurdism - as any war would - where it's not Death who chases its victim (as in The Seventh Seal by Bergman) but the victim itself who chases Death, who mocks him, over and over. But Sushenya ends up winning (or losing, depending at how you look at it) at the end.


Hiding financial commitments from your spouse puts a strain to the relationship, a situation that can lead to divorce.
If you're secretive about your finances and constantly hide purchases from and lie about your debt to your significant other, you're having a financial affair, experts warn.
This can lead to a serious breach of trust in your relationship, so much so that your spouse can see it as cheating, which can in the worst case lead to divorce.
So, what constitutes a financial affair?
A financial affair is when you spend a significant amount of money on anything without your spouse knowing about it, explains Nozuko Makhunga, a certified financial planner at Absa Wealth and Investment Management Distribution.
She also lists hidden debt and undisclosed loans to family and friends as you're having a financial affair.
Charles Pitt, private client wealth manager at Alexander Forbes Wealth, warns couples against spending more money on yourself without regard for your partner's feelings.
"If you spend more on yourself without being considerate of your spouse's needs, it can easily breed lack of trust, can be seen as cheating and ultimately lead to divorce for married couples," he warns.
Financial affairs can be traced back to when you were single where you either ignored the principles of budgeting or had impeccable money management skills, and then marry a partner who is quite the opposite. Instead of talking about money right from the start, you avoid the topic altogether which often leads to resentment and a complete breakdown of trust.
You've set the example, taught them about the cost of things and that money is earned by doing chores.
Makhunga says hidden debt for example is already a breach of loyalty and trust. The longer you keep your debt a secret, the harder it is to open up to your partner at a later stage. "Always keep in mind that a problem shared is a problem halved."
Another contributor to the loyalty struggle is undisclosed loans to friends and family that are often never paid back.
This can make your partner question your ability to make sound decisions, and adding insult to injury is the person borrowing the money trying to justify why it's okay for them not to repay the loan.
Giving your partner a seat at the table before granting the loan will get you both on the same page in terms of repayment or whether to write it off as a gift, Makhunga says.
Also, spending money over the festive season with friends seems like the natural thing to do to unwind, but it can quickly ruin your finances and your relationship if you're overspending - and without your spouse knowing.
Both Makhunga and Pitt warn that "financial affairs" are amplified over the holiday season when you are more relaxed and eager to spend more than usual to reward yourself for working hard throughout the year. This, however, can lead to resentment in the relationship, especially if one partner is responsible for budgeting and paying the bills.
• Reconcile different money beliefs and upbringings. The old idea that opposites attract is romantic, but we are often drawn to partners whose personality and style complement our own. Differing beliefs about money is something that needs work from both of you to unlearn old habits and learn new disciplines that will grow your partnership.
• Constant communication about money will help you both determine your own boundaries around spending, debt and your tolerance levels - all with the goal of aligning your financial goals, Makhunga advises.


text:
Biden officially declared winner of Arizona
Mesan Byfield-Williams
PHOENIX (Diya TV) — With 99% of the vote in and the number of ballots left to be counted not enough to change the result, Joe Biden was officially declared the winner of Arizona, the first Democrat to win that state since Bill Clinton in 1996. The win adds 11 more electoral college votes to the Biden ledger. And while Biden has already crossed the 270 vote threshold required to win the Presidency, President Trump has not relented his pursuit for a second term through litigation, despite the fact there is a growing chorus in the Republican Party that Trump should officially concede to help unite the country after a tumultuous campaign.
The Department of Justice says 36 year old Viky Bohra, the husband of former Amazon finance manager Laksha Bohra, pleaded guilty to an insider trading charge. The Securities and Exchange Commission said the Bohra family made accounts in different family members' names to make $1.4 million in illegal profits by trading in Amazon securities. The Bohras settled SEC civil charges by forfeiting the profits and paying more than $1 million in fines. Viky Bohra will be sentenced in February and under the plea agreement, Laksha Bohra and the other family members will not face criminal charges.
Ravi Kapur contributed to this report.
Related Topics:AmazonArizonaBidenfeaturedIndiaIndian AmericanSouthAsianTrumpVikyBohra
Biden-Harris declared 2020 winners; Trump sues states
Biden names 20+ Indian Americans to agency review teams
Impeachment moves ahead despite limited GOP support
Democrats introduce an article of impeachment against Trump
4 Dead In U.S. Capitol Riots, Delays Election Certification
60 Congress members implore Biden to change H-4 visa rules
New Nutanix CEO Rajiv Ramaswami get sued by Vmware
Pakistan court orders release American journalist Daniel Pearl's convicted killers
Trump becomes first U.S. President to be impeached twice
WASHINGTON (Diya TV) — The House of Representatives voted 232-197 to impeach President Trump for "incitement of insurrection." He is the first President to be impeached twice, with 10 Republicans joining Democrats to vote for the removal of the President, whose term ends January 20th. But the Senate will not convene until January 19th to hold a trial for the president.
A full week after the Capitol was stormed by his supporters, President Trump released a video saying he condemned the mob violence that left 5 people dead and threatened the lives of members of Congress. Trump took on a solemn tone and did not address being impeached, nor acknowledge his successor President-Elect Joe Biden.
After months of massive nationwide protests by India's farmers, the Indian Supreme Court has put three contentious farm laws on hold until further notice. The court said the decision to suspend the laws "may assuage the hurt feelings of the farmers and encourage them to come to the negotiating table with confidence and good faith." The farmers argue the new laws passed in September would privatize land and undermine their livelihoods by giving more power to corporations.
WASHINGTON (Diya TV) — Democrats in the House are moving ahead with the second impeachment of President Trump over accusations Trump incited supporters to storm the U.S. Capitol. Despite tepid Republican support, the vote will be held Wednesday. Vice President Pence said he would not invoke the 25th Amendment to remove Trump before his final day in office January 20th.
Indian Prime Minister Modi praised the Indian diaspora around the world for all their hard work during the COVID-19 pandemic. Modi says Indians have gone above and beyond with their giving and generosity, especially medical workers on the front lines. He also thanked temples, gurdwaras and other social service agencies for being there for everyone without discrimination.
India authorized two COVID-19 vaccines for use, putting it's massive manufacturing capacity in the spotlight. The Serum Institute of India is the world's largest manufacturer of vaccines by volume. It will likely provide almost all the vaccines in India and ship to many other places around the world later this year.
Rioters face criminal charges, Capitol Police chief resigns
WASHINGTON (Diya TV) — Federal investigators are looking to bring criminal charges on everyone involved in the insurrection in the U.S. Capitol and they are also looking at the role President Trump had in inviting his supporters to interrupt the certification of President-Elect Joe Biden's win. 15 criminal cases have already been filed, including one against one man who brought a military semi-automatic rifle and 11 Molotov cocktails. Capitol Police are also under fire for how the building was breached in the first place, leading to the resignation of their police chief. The House & Senate Sergeant at Arms are also being replaced.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer are leading the calls for the 25th Amendment to be invoked against President Trump. The 25th Amendment states in part the vice president and a majority of the cabinet can decide that the president is "unable to discharge the powers and duties" of the office.
Several White House officials resigned in the aftermath of violence at the Capitol. Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao and Education Secretary Betsy DeVos announced their resignations, the first to leave President Trump's Cabinet since the attack. Trump's former chief of staff Mick Mulvaney, top European and Russian official on the National Security Council Ryan Tully and First Lady Melania Trump's Chief of Staff Stephanie Grisham have also quit.
Democrats promise new Trump impeachment effort
Man stabbed during brawl at Sikh temple near Seattle
"Look at India. It's filthy!" Trump exclaims during debate
Politicians targeted by suspected Chinese spy
Exclusive: Hindu Americans debate Biden vs. Trump
Biden & Harris issue happy Navratri greetings
Basketball2 years ago
Raptors edge Warriors 114-110 to win 1st NBA Title | 2019 NBA Finals
Featured2 years ago
Blues topple Bruins 4-1 in Game 7 to win the 2019 NHL Stanley Cup
Warriors lose Durant and beat Raptors 106-105 in Game 5 to extend series
Linsanity at the NBA Finals the Next Chapter
Raptors shock Warriors in Oakland again, now one win from 1st NBA title
Indian American professor missing near Mt. Rainier
Arts & Culture3 months ago
HC4A Founder, Harish Kotecha receives Lifetime Achievement award from NAEHCY
Indian employees at Amazon charged with bribery
Sikhs & Hindus in Afghanistan flee under threat
Thapar, Rao on Supreme Court shortlist to replace Ginsburg