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One Holiday, Two Americas: Memorial Day Thoughts
Some of our fathers and brothers, even our sisters and aunts, served in wartime. Some serve now. Perhaps you too.
Today is the day we honor the fallen in all the many conflicts of this, our country.
Can two Americas fit into a holiday designed for one?
Thus do the two Americas array themselves: those for whom service is a calling and those for whom it is an economic necessity; those powerful and those without prospects; those respected and those afraid; those with fat wallets and those with empty purses; the few who are part of our volunteer army and the majority who choose not to be.
When my father did his duty in World War II, walking the Champs-Élysées on the first Bastille Day after the liberation of Paris, there was such a thing as military conscription: able bodied young men were required to participate. In post-war Germany, as part of the occupying Allied forces, he related the following in an October 19, 1945 letter to my mother:
We have two colored boys in our convoy who were carrying our postal equipment. When we went to supper … the Sargent who ran the mess hall made them eat in a separate room. The colored boys were fighting mad for which I can blame them little. I complained about this treatment to the mess Sargent, who said that the First Sargent made the rule. I went to the latter and told him off plenty (my dad was a Staff Sargent). His answer was that I didn't have to eat in the mess hall either if I didn't like the rules.
So this is for what we fight. I finally talked to the colored boys and pacified them somewhat.
Some of us thought we were beyond the racial animus of a time 70 years past. Not just the discrimination, but the idea of discrimination. Still, no matter our domestic troubles, we must honor the fallen. My father, who served but did not die in service, would be troubled at our regression; yet he would honor the fallen, as we all should, amid the burgers and bratwurst and beer we inhale today. In this, at least, we can still be one country, even if the ritual unites us only for a few hours.
I wrote some of this seven years ago. Other parts are new:
If you are unhappy about the polarization of our society, think about the differences institutionalized by the volunteer army's creation. However much good was achieved by the elimination of conscription, surely the absence of shared sacrifice contributes to the ease with which we oppose our fellow-citizens.
No longer does the USA pull together in the way possible during World War II, "the Good War." In part, "the Good War" was good because enough people believed in the values for which the USA fought, knowing their children, husbands, and brothers would defend those same values with their lives; and it was good because those at home (regardless of class) shared in the rationing of goods, the terror of having loved ones in harm's way, the heartache of their absence, and a preoccupation with the daily progress of the conflict.
The soldiers shared something more, and more widely than the smaller fighting force of today. Men of different religions, regional accents, political opinions, and ethnicities depended on each other for their survival and discovered the "other" could be depended on, laughed at the same jokes, and partook of the common fear and dedication all brought to the war effort. Even though military segregation deprived brave blacks and Japanese Americans of the opportunity for such camaraderie except with men of the same color, the nation benefited from the portion permitted. The soldiers benefited by the love and mutual reliance of those in the same foxhole. Our fathers and grandfathers were woven together in a way we are not today.
These thoughts occurred to me as I listened (on CD) to the book Final Salute by Pulitzer Prize winning author Jim Sheeler. The volume is about the officers who inform families they have lost a loved one; and of the families who suffer the unspeakable pain of the death of a son, a husband, a wife, a brother, or a sister; a dad or a mom.
Several survivors become your acquaintances in this narrative, as well as the warriors — the Marines — who died serving our country. And you will get to know Major Steve Beck, a Marine who delivers a message nearly as shattering as the projectile that killed their loved one.
Major Beck and the Marines live by the creed of leaving no comrade behind. Consistent with this value, Major Beck leaves no family behind, providing comfort and support long after the knock on the door that changes everything, creating a "before and after" without end.
I wish I had the words to convey what is in this book. I don't. I only will say it is plainly written, eloquent in its simplicity, aching in its beauty, profound in its impact. It does not make melodrama of what is already poignant enough. Rest assured you will contemplate war, any war, differently after reading Final Salute; unless, of course, you are a member of the "other America," the one fighting the wars and sending its loved ones into conflict. If you belong to the bereft group within this group, then there is nothing here you do not already know at a level too deep for words.
To those who have lost just such a one as the young men portrayed in Final Salute, I can only give my condolences to you and your kin.
We — those of us in the non-fighting America, those of us for whom the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq are abstractions — perhaps remain too comfortable, detached from something of desperate importance: the duty done far from home in our stead by the children of other people. And removed and distant from how the "best and brightest" of their families risk and sometimes give up everything they hold dear.
For such families, the human cost never fully goes away, for there is no inoculation against the plague of war, nor any cure.
They are out there, these inhabitants of "the other America."
We walk past them unaware …
Once a year we give their departed a day of remembrance, if that's what you call taking an extra day off from work, singing the National Anthem, looking at the maimed soldiers standing at attention, and then forgetting why we sang before our bottoms touch the seats. The words "play ball," don't quite capture a sentiment of honor or atonement, do they?
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All the images above are sourced from Wikimedia Commons. 1. "Vice Admiral Scott Swift, Director of Navy Staff holds Savannah Wriglesworth of Bowie, Maryland during a group photo with families of the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) before taking a tour at the Pentagon May 23, 2014. The children of fallen U.S. service members toured the Pentagon seeing different exhibitions from the Navy, Army, Marine Corps and Air Force including Klinger the horse. Klinger has served at more than 5,000 military funerals and has a book published about him called "Klinger: A Story of Honor and Hope" and is often a warm and comforting face for the children to see when making their final good-byes." (Department of Defense photo by Erin A. Kirk-Cuomo). 2. and 3. The work of Allstrak. 4. "Arizona Diamondbacks first baseman Paul Goldschmidt looks on during the singing of the National Anthem before his squad's Memorial Day Major League Baseball matchup against the San Diego Padres at Chase Field in Phoenix, May 26, 2014. U.S. Marine Corps Sgt. Brandon Kidd, right, was on hand to represent the United States Marine Corps during pre-game dedications." (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Sgt. Tyler J. Bolken).
baseball, politics, psychology, relationships, sports	casualty notification, compassion, courage, Final Salute, grieving, loss, Major Steve Beck, Memorial Day, polarized society, racial discrimination, two Americas, volunteer army problems	12 Comments
Returning to Therapy, Renewing Friendship, Starting Over, Fixing Things …
The holidays are a time of both fond and aching remembrance of those who are absent: an estranged family member missing from the celebration, a once close friend silent, a therapeutic relationship over.
Ghosts.
Perhaps then is it time to begin again?
Our century is a "time vacuum." You can buy everything except a 25th hour in the day. A lack of time combined with distance puts relationships at risk. Friends are more digitally available, but offer less physical presence. Gone are the school days providing hours of contact with our playmates and extra time together in the neighborhood.
Relationships beg for attention, but speak too softly to be audible in a world of carnival barkers pretending to be wisemen. The torch-carrier who wishes for human closeness might bring a spark, but lack the wood. The lonely woodsman hopes for a lightening-strike because he has no flame. Waiting comes and friendship goes … disappears.
Funny how much effort we put into the maintenance of things and how little into the feeding and care of friendship. Time is set-aside for routine dusting, sweeping, vacuuming, mending, and replacing. The days are scheduled: Saturday means washing clothes, Sunday stipulates mowing the lawn, Monday is for watering plants. We get absorbed and stop thinking, a human condition to which we are all subject and which we all need.
Dutiful honor paid to the numbing maintenance routine blinds us to the implication of the toll taken on everything in the world, including our affections. All man-made things need renewal. Just as in the old days when mattresses were supported by ropes which needed regular tightening (as in the expression, "sleep tight") so must the unseen cords binding us to each other be tightened. The unseen is easier to miss, the seen can't be ignored. Habit takes over.
Our attention to physical things can be trancelike, done without consideration. Experts, handymen, and service contractors are available when we don't know how to do the fixing ourselves. You take the car for repair or you go to the Apple Store for a new computer. E-mail might remind you the auto needs attention with a "tune-up special." The computer signals its unhappiness by running slowly. Your spouse tells you marital counseling is necessary.
Who speaks for friendship and its tender sensibilities? Who speaks for a return to therapy?
Actually, the friend or the therapist might. I would call old patients on occasion, far from everyone and far from often, to see how they were doing, especially those who I thought (a bit like a car) might need a tune-up.
I understand however, I was not typical. Moreover, as I say, I didn't do this often. Yet possibility exists in taking action, breaking with the customary. As Carlo Maria Giulini, the great symphony conductor said of himself, "I am an enemy of routine." Thus, his performances almost always were full of intensity, never "phoned in." Possibilities exist if we envision the world anew.
Most of us wouldn't think about letting the house get too cluttered or dusty, the sofa too frayed. We stretch in the morning, exercise before or after work, and check the iPhone. Not to mention performing the job for which we are paid and caring for our kids.
Frayed feelings are invisible. Emotions are hidden. Therapists are not psychic, friends even less so, and counselors can become surprisingly obtuse after their workday is done. The smoke detector does its electronic whine when the battery needs replacement. Distressed friends usually don't give the same decisive alarm.
We take care of what is observable. Most of us want to look nice, want our residence to be welcoming. We try to keep things as they are: attractive. If I wear a hole in my shoe, as Adlai Stevenson II did during his 1952 Presidential Campaign, I get embarrassed and take it to the shoemaker. Friends are usually quieter than unintentionally air-conditioned footwear. Some are like the old soldiers described by General Douglas MacArthur. "Old soldiers never die," he said, "they just fade away."
We assume the permanence of people and things. Marriage takes for granted our mate will remain young, fit, appealing. Yes, everyone understands age is a thief, but that is an abstraction. When the roses are in bloom and the kisses strike fire I dare anyone to really — really — believe the flesh is weak. Might we insist on better care of relationships if we thought they needed the same oversight that our sofa does, a piece of work whose fabric will wear out, whose springs will lose their spring?
My friend Nancy Pochis Bank is a chalk artist. She decorates chalkboard menus and buildings, creates murals — whatever you fancy. Nancy marries beauty to usefulness, making lovely things of the everyday. Many people wonder (and Nancy has heard this) why she employs such a temporary medium for her work, the effortful beauty she creates — knowing her magical product will disappear with the next day's menu or a new rain?
The mistake we make, I think, is looking at Nancy's craft as temporary and not realizing that our relationships (and all else) come with no greater guarantee of permanence. They are as vulnerable to destruction as Nancy's outdoor art is to the weather. Like Nancy in creating her art, we are the art we create, we are the chalk ever-changing because it and we are exposed, vulnerable. Our friendships are, as well. Ignore them and they will be gone. Walk on them (like a sidewalk chalk-drawing) and you leave a mark. She says her work is a reminder to value that which is ephemeral.
Therapists are not identical to friends, of course. The form of contact is both intensified and limited. Counselors tend to require less special-handling than companions, though many patients fear not giving them enough. And, therapists incline toward welcoming you back, even if you left abruptly.
The desire for a second chance with estranged or neglected friends is driven by fond memory. With some you fell into an emotional ravine that hobbled and gobbled you up. Is another try worth the risk? Only you can say. Stranger things have happened than a joyous reunion. Perhaps you can sew your togetherness together anew.
Counselors discourage catastrophizing. Not everything is a matter of life and death and yet, everything is in the sense that it is temporary, as life is temporary. The holidays remind us that another year will end without some of those with whom we began it: work friends, close friends, neighbors, and yes, the irreplaceable people who fill the obituary pages.
You can take this as a dark message and flee or think about who you want in your life and what you can do; whether they are on good terms with you, out of your life, or drifting. The New Year is an ending and a beginning. The cycle round the sun ends. A new spin on the axis offers beginnings only if you make them happen.
The subject of relationship renewal brings to mind these T.S. Eliot lines from Little Gidding, the last of the set of poems he called Four Quartets:
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
Sometimes we learn things the second time around.
Friendship and therapy can be like that.
The top photo is of German Manga artists Asu and Reami, known as DuO, at the Comic-fest in Munich on September 3, 2005. The next image is called Morning Fog at the Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco. Both of these were sourced from Wikimedia Commons and are the work of Fantasy. The photo of Adlai Stevenson II won the 1953 Pulitzer Prize for Photography. William M. Gallagher, the photographer, wasn't aware at the time he took it that it revealed a hole in the shoe on Stevenson's right foot.
advice, psychology, relationships	Adlai Stevenson II, breaking routine, catastrophization, holiday depression, impermanence, loneliness, losing friends, loss, Nancy Pochis Bank, numbing produced by habit, renewing friendship, restarting therapy, T.S. Eliot	12 Comments
A Remarkable Recovery From Unspeakable Grief and PTSD
Some stories stick with you. The word "heartbreaking" is not enough to describe them; nor do "resilience," "survival," and "overcoming misery" say enough." Yet all those words apply.
The therapist in the tale who helped enable a positive conclusion was Donald Meichenbaum, Ph.D. He related this account in a video focused on finding meaning in the aftermath of trauma: PTSD & Complex PTSD: Ways to Bolster Resilience.
Don't read further if you wish to avert your eyes from tragedy, but understand this: you cannot know of the treatment that allowed for a redemptive, healing story unless you face it.
The woman: a young, bright, intelligent mother. A good mother. Her husband was away on a business trip. Home held only her daughter and herself. An intruder could be heard downstairs. Mom entered Vicky's room and they hid in her closet. The burglars left without going upstairs. The event upset both Vicky and the mother, worried such an episode might happen when the husband/father traveled once more to make his living. The adults installed a security system and alerted the police. They lived in a safe neighborhood. No reason to expect another forced entry. Still, the man insisted his wife get a gun, just in case. She did not like firearms, but relented. The night stand next to her bed harbored the weapon.
Time passed. The man traveled again. Late and stormy darkness. Noises downstairs. Was the mother dreaming, reliving an imaginary or remembered version of the home invasion?
No. No. No. Not again.
Yes, again.
The mother urgently reached for the gun and moved toward her bedroom door to go to Vicky's room, just as she had the first time. Vicky came running and pushed the mom's door open. It struck the mother's hand and the firearm discharged. Vicky died immediately. The mother sat with her dead daughter for 24-hours until the husband returned.
No words are possible. The parents' lives were forever changed. Guilt, horror, marital separation, grief, depression. Even loving friends became unavailable, unable to bear the story. Alienation and isolation. As the mother saw it, a life not worth living. She deserved to die.
What is a therapist to do? He can never undo the tragedy, but perhaps he can help the survivor to find a reason to live, a meaning for the rest of her life. Here is what Meichenbaum did:
The psychologist knew his job was first to establish a therapeutic alliance, to show compassion, and accept, not judge. He needed to allow the patient to tell her story as she was able, permit its unfolding, not push. A plan to prevent the woman's self-harm was created. The therapist allowed his emotions to be touched. His own tears came as he listened.
The psychologist asked a question to understand more about the loss. The client had said that Vicky was "special."
She was wise beyond her years.
The first session ended and the doctor arranged a second appointment in two days' time. Meichenbaum made a request. He said he would be "honored and privileged" if mom brought in a photo album of Vicky, but only if she wanted to: no pressure. He wished to get a further sense of who the child was.
Reviewing the pictures together was painful in the extreme. Yet this marked the beginning of the doctor's effort to embed the only moment the mother focused on (the accident and death) within a broader narrative of Vicky's life and her own life: to pull his client out of the single instant of horror into the stream of her ongoing existence — perhaps to create a potential redemptive story projected into the future.
This is not to suggest any kind of treatment would ever erase the pain or guilt completely. Yet, it might still be possible to help the mother give Vicky's memory meaning. And perhaps to transform the patient's life in the process.
The therapist asked his client another question. Two, actually. He wanted to know what this child (who was "wise beyond her years") might say to the parent's wish for oblivion:
What advice would Vicky give and what would happen to the memory of her if you kill yourself?
The mother affirmed the obvious answers which had escaped her: Vicky would not want her to die. Moreover, the memory of Vicky would also die with the death of the one who knew her best. Meichenbaum's questions led her to realize she might do some good in the world, something to perpetuate Vicky's memory and give meaning to the child's short life. Treatment continued. Mom became a public advocate for gun locks and gun safety, thus transforming her loss and honoring Vicky.
In part, Donald Meichenbaum assisted the patient to fashion a new story of her own life different from one ending with two deaths. She became aware her time on earth was not yet completed. And that Vicky's impact on the world offered a potential future, if only the parent gave her daughter a metaphorical life — gave voice to what her daughter's death could still achieve.
This is not at all to suggest the mother wouldn't have traded anything — anything — to get Vicky back. Yet, the mom might yet continue her existence with a constructive narrative of redeeming value in spite of complicity in the child's loss.
Meichenbaum is famous for asking questions — for creating a Socratic Dialogue with his patients. He did not give his patient advice, but led the conversation so she might grasp the next rung on the ladder of recovery, not simply be handed it. Therapists should know "directions" from the counselor don't produce as much "ownership" of the treatment process, nor as much motivation to change, as occurs when he helps the client uncover her own way, not just follow advice.
Might you also find your own way? Might the rest of your story be one of value?
The photo is titled Pedra do Baú — Compos do Jordáo. The author is Izabel Tartari and it was sourced from Wikimedia Commons.
depression, psychotherapy	constructive narrative perspective, death of a child, grief, guilt, gun accident, limitations of giving advice in therapy, loss, Meichenbaum, PTSD, resilience to trauma, Socratic Dialogue in therapy, suicide treatment, telling stories in therapy, trauma	8 Comments
Anticipation and Realization: Can Expecting Disappointment Reduce Your Pain?
My mother used to say, "Anticipation is greater than realization." She uttered the phrase more than once, always unprompted. It was as if she were giving me a warning about the disappointments of life, the hoped-for moments that wouldn't fulfill my expectation of them. Certainly, she was speaking of her own pain-filled history. Her strategy was not to predict too much good from events and especially from people, for fear of adding to the list of letdowns. In doing therapy I heard many others tell me they adopted a similar defense, the better to buttress themselves against the world's assaults. Simply put, don't get your hopes up, they would say. Otherwise you will be ripe for dismay.
I am no blind optimist, but I think mom was wrong. First, I'm not sure you can effectively steel yourself against all the blows of life. If Death is an opponent with an undefeated record, Life is sometimes your best friend and at others your worst enemy. He will lift you up and tear you down. Even in a lucky life like mine "there will be blood." But since I like the heady experience of those times life lifts you off your feet, I must pay the cost of admission to the airport. These are the terms of the contract we accept by taking our first breath. We do well, if we can, to bounce back when defeated, since the future may hold more glorious and unexpected flights.
Secondly, many of the injuries we suffer are impossible to anticipate except in an abstract way: we know people will leave, we expect occasional betrayal, we recognize nobody wins every game, on and on. Only a fortune-teller knows exactly how and when. Thus, in a moment of pain, we are taken by surprise despite our preparation. Moreover, we risk wasting our days in a state of general worry or dullness, bypassing every chance for love, kindness, and accomplishment. Expecting disappointment rarely reduces the hurt, but the strategy guarantees little possibility of joy.
My most memorable experiences were impossible to fully forecast. A trivial example: as a kid I looked forward to attending a NY Yankees baseball night game against the Chicago White Sox on May 18, 1956. I couldn't wait until my Uncle Sam took me. The thrill I imagined weeks in advance was amplified a thousand fold when the mighty Mickey Mantle hit one home run batting right-handed and another left-handed, a feat rarer than pitching a no-hit game. I can still picture the port side clout, as if carried by a rising tide, the ball aglow in the arc lights until the spheroid struck the right field upper deck of old Comiskey Park. But for the impediment of the rafters I thought it would reach the moon.
I have been moved to tears by music, by the birth of my children, and amazed that I could move many of my high school classmates to tears by a speech given at one of our class reunions. A crackling physical electricity of athletic performance passed through my body on one occasion — a sensation I never knew possible. I've enjoyed luck in love and friendship as well as heartbreak and betrayal. A business partner and friend stole tens of thousands of dollars from our enterprise. My parents are both long dead. A lifetime of movies, books, conversations and observations did not prepare me for these sensations and emotions when the moment arrived. Life is about taking action and being surprised and being grateful despite the fact there is no free lunch.
Some hunker down in their shelter of straw thinking the big bad wolves will thereby be held off. I'm here to tell you I know of no fool-proof defense against injury and no Teflon-infused clothing to deflect the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune." What we are offered is a life of imagination and fear and effortfully summoned courage and friendship and tears and laughter and loss and taking chances: in other words, of winning and losing. If you think otherwise, well, you haven't been paying attention.
Sample the menu of life. Not all the dishes are tasty, but even some of those you don't like are informative, and knowledge is usually desirable. Don't make the highlights of your life the things you buy for yourself. Do make some of those highlights the gifts (of all kinds) you give to others.
The best events cannot be anticipated. And don't glut yourself: a gourmet meal should be a special treat, not a routine pattern of diminishing novelty. The greatest art, music, and literature become old if revisited daily. I wouldn't want to attend a performance of Beethoven's 9th Symphony even once in three years. Celebrate the rare occasion. Become an enemy of routine. Do look forward to some things, be they goals worth working for, a date with your sweetie, a trip, or a once a year get-together with old friends. Anticipation has magic, as we note in the lives of children every Christmas. Don't become like the worker in a candy factory who grows tired of chocolate by eating too much.
The world is not your oyster, but there are some good bites. No one gets out alive, yet brave souls seize the day. On a fine afternoon your bite will feel like more than enough. You might even uncover a pearl.
The top image is called In Anticipation by Albert von Keller. It was sourced from Wikimedia Commons.
life, psychology, wisdom	anticipation is greater than realization, betrayal, difficulty of predicting our emotional future, expecting to be disappointed, expecting too much, gratitude, hedonic forecasting, loss, lowering your expectations, Mickey Mantle, the danger of routine, the impact of live's surprises	10 Comments
A Man Who Didn't Give in: Sir Nicholas Winton
"I work on the motto that if something isn't impossible, there must be a way of doing it." So said Sir Nicholas Winton when asked how he saved the lives of 669 children. Sir Nicholas died yesterday at the age of 106. Before you give up on whatever challenge faces you, get to know his story. The video documentary (above) includes a 2014 interview of Winton. I wrote this essay in 2009: To Save One Life is to Save the World/
politics, psychology, wisdom	altruism, Anniversaries, courage, facing challenges, Holocaust, holocaust rescue, Kristallnacht, loss, Nazis, Nobel Peace Prize, saving lives, World War II	2 Comments
Looking for Answers Where There are only Questions: Relationships that Haunt Us
Shoulders exist to look back over. We can't help ourselves. Ghosts — those who are absent — hang out behind, in blighted corners of the mind. Oh, they might be with someone else or in purgatory, but they are just as surely gone in either case. Not forgotten, but gone.
Allow me to walk with you from the darkness to the light; from the sadness of the ending to your recovery.
We hope to scrape off the sticky relationship-residue, caustic to the soul. We search for a satisfying explanation of why things ended. You want to know what happened, bottom to top, left to right, inside out.
One fights to squeeze understanding out of the wet cloth of the past. It seems impossible to reach what is behind you. Your arms are too short, your shoulders resist. Hard as you try, no feat of strength lifts the fog or warms the clinging chill of loneliness. Nor does total comprehension come to you. It feels as though sadness or anger shall follow you all the days of your life, and certainly preoccupation with the way things died. Perhaps the objective side of you knows otherwise, but you are hip-deep in the subjective. A future will only be visible when "night-gloom and damp" are burned off by dawn. It seems infinitely far away: an event that is in front of you while you are twisting your body to look at what is receding.
Allow me to walk with you from the darkness to the light. Yes, I am repeating myself.
We begin by trying to figure out why he left or why he cheated or why he wasn't satisfied. Or why we weren't satisfied when we "should" have been. We despise our mistakes and our stupidity. Guilt wracks us even if there is no reason for self-blame. We speculate for hours and nights and weeks: why did he criticize and judge us or vice versa? Why didn't we say something when we could have, before the lights of love or friendship went out?
Why didn't he tell us? Should we have read his mind?
Why did he embarrass us or we humiliate him? Why, despite everything we did to please him, were we "not enough?"
How did it happen and might it have been otherwise? The "what ifs" are inescapable. What if we had done more or less? Spent more time or less? Smiled less or more? Set limits more or less? Been affectionate more or less? Been more diplomatic? Not given up so soon?
Remember, I am beside you on the walk.
It feels unique. Crucifixion is personal: singled out on a planet of seven billion. The world goes its indifferent way to the right and we are left, the fetid road kill of a random act of cosmic unkindness.
Wallace Stegner knew our pain. His 1967 novel, All the Live Little Things, reveals the topography of the dark night of the soul. His character, Joe Allston, has seen too much, sustained too many losses. A sixty-something married man living in the '60s, his self-deadening fortifications against pain are penetrated by two emotional gophers who burrow under his Spartan guard: a young man who reminds him of his dead son and a young woman named Marian, full of ebullient life.
Marian accepts the world and does not judge or complain. "Live! Suffer! Enjoy! Wake up!" She is irrepressibly at one with the natural world as it is — with the terrible and wonderful consequences for her personally. She knows weeds and flowers are entangled, and to poison all the weeds of life will just as surely kill the flowers they surround. The platonic, but tender relationship between Joe and Marian opens Allston, nibbles away, and strips him bare, permitting fatherly affection for this young mother. Her glow warms him and he cannot prevent his guard from dropping, his soul from becoming vulnerable. She stimulates a new state of his being: the joy, pleasure-pain of experience, but also the exquisite awfulness love always exposes us to: the terror of loss he tried to bury by not allowing anything to matter too much.
Joe describes himself:
I am concerned with gloomier matters: the condition of the flesh, susceptible to pain, infected with consciousness of consciousness, doomed to death and the awareness of death. My life stains the air around me. I am a tea bag left too long in the cup, and my steepings grow darker and bitterer.
If you are struggling with loss you will find a soul mate in this haunted intellectual. Take solace in hearing another's voice capture your feelings. His is a life bathed in loss, struggle, and resentment. The generation gap between himself and the "flower children" of the '60s leaves him caustic. He has been at endless war with the creatures and weeds that would undermine his garden. He is the parent you are or you had — the one who judges and cannot surrender.
Joe is cursed by his thought process: he does not let an event pass without reflection and close inspection. Allston's struggle is, like all of ours, unique but universal. He thinks we expect too much of life. Each one of us demands permanence where none exists. We pave over our heart's driveway, hoping no pain will penetrate the concrete slabs, no cracks will ever form. One seeks relationships for lasting assurance and discovers the seeds of their endings present in their beginnings. Jobs start and end. Children joyfully explode into our world, only to leave for their own. The championship crown is for this season only. Next year someone else will wear the laurels.
Human lives — all lives — are in transit, so best to realize that every worldly destination is temporary. If one can, at least occasionally, "get" this, then you will make the most of life and its passing beauties. Yes, you will still stare over your shoulder and struggle with all the questions about what happened and what you might have done. The look back is both unavoidable and required to liberate yourself from what you've lost. The passage of time does the rest of the healing.
You can visit this psychological "yesterday," but don't stay, lest your backward glance prevent you from escaping the fog of grief and moving through to whatever the new day will offer.
Remember, we never get all the answers. Even if we were able to question the long departed, like Odysseus in the Underworld, the answers received might or might not satisfy, in part because the departed don't know themselves: both their answers and their self-knowledge are imperfect.
After a while, the questions matter less. There is solace in this. Other people, other causes, laughter and loveliness can enrich you, reducing the need for the scoring key to yesterday's test.
Your twisted neck wearies of its unnatural position. "Face forward," wisdom whispers. "The race is in front, not behind. Life goes on. Comfort exists in what is still possible. Joy may yet be yours."
The photo is called Looking Back. It is the work of Bill Nicholls and was sourced from Wikimedia Commons.
psychology, relationships, wisdom	All the Live Little Things, defenses against pain, grief, healing from a break-up, loss, relationship endings, trying to understand why a relationship ended, Wallace Stegner	8 Comments
Beyond the Loss of Someone You Love
When you have sustained a personal loss others provide consolation as best they can. If it is a death, there is a funeral to attend and a home to visit. If it is the breakup of a relationship or a marriage, there are phone calls, email, and visits, too. Plus, in almost all cases, an off-stage sigh of relief from the friend or relative who was not so close to the departed; relief that it didn't happen closer to their heart and their home. But what is life thereafter for those who are most bereft?
You know some of it because you've lived it or read about it or seen it on stage: the tears and/or anger, the grieving process, etc. I'm not going into that which is well-known to most people, but rather some of the things you might not think about that happen when someone terribly close is gone; and how the life of one remaining behind can be changed. The items on the list may or may not happen to you, but they do happen, at least occasionally, for more than a few.
First, however, I want to emphasize that while we are not all the same in dealing with loss, the time it takes is usually measured in months, not years. That said, anniversaries of the death, holidays, and other significant events at which the departed is absent can be very tough, especially the first few times through. And the long shadow of an important life can reappear even years later, although without the emotional wallop, as a rule. Just to emphasize, this is something almost all of us get through, painful though it is. And, as you will see at the end of this essay, it can also be a thing from which you learn and grow.
Now to the less often discussed experiences that you might have while going through the grieving process:
Fatigue. Loss can be like a giant vacuum cleaner that sucks the life out of you. You may feel tired, need more sleep, or simply have a general lack of enthusiasm and joy. The sadness is well-known, the spirit-draining weariness is less frequently discussed, but can go on for months.
Dullness of Thought. Whether you have a razor-edged brain or the more ordinary kind, you just might find that your usual sharpness is compromised. Perhaps you will be more forgetful, perhaps slower to process ideas, or just less in command of the executive functions that your mind typically does automatically.
Seeing the Loved One Who is not There. The days will pass and you will usually do the usual things. Let's say you are filling up your car with gasoline at one of those petrol stations that also include a convenience store, filled with some snacks and sundries. As you are staring off into space while holding the gas pump, you see your deceased father walking into the store to pay for his gas. You literally can't believe your eyes, and yet it seems to be your dad. You wait for him to exit and, indeed, it is a stranger. For other survivors, a similar circumstance occurs when they hear the voice that is not there. These are usually not hallucinations, but simply a part of the survival and grieving process.
Reaching for the Phone to Call the One Who is not There. Something happens in your life that would normally cause you to call, or email, or text the person who is out of your life. Maybe it is news of sports or a personal achievement, a surprising event, or perhaps you want some advice. A second later you realize that the contact will be unavailing. It is either impossible, if the person is deceased, or unwanted, if your former love no longer wants you.
Thinking about What the Deceased has Missed. My Uncle Sam, who died at age 50 in 1970, loved technology. He was creative and made things with the digital dexterity of an old-time watchmaker, although that was not his craft. He was the first person I knew to have a tape recorder (big reels in those days before cassettes and digital recording), a window air conditioner, and a Kodak camera that gave you a photo seconds after you took it, an advance we now take for granted. He was also a rabid fan of the Chicago White Sox baseball team. Over the years, as technology has progressed, I have occasionally thought that he would have loved to live today to see and use it all; maybe even to play a part in changing it for the better. And, in 2005, when the White Sox won the World Series, he would have been in heaven. Then again, maybe he was.
The Inability of Others Who are also Bereft to Help You Grieve. The most poignant and difficult examples of this feature of loss come in families where a parent has perished or fled to parts unknown. If the family still includes a loving parent, the children are used to going to that mom or dad with their problems, assuming the kids are still relatively young. But now they find that the person who provided consolation is himself or herself laid low by the very same loss from which the children seek relief. Part of the reason that therapists are useful is that they have not been struck by the identical calamity and therefore have the emotional energy and perspective that the remaining parent temporarily lacks. In a way, the children of parents who are also grieving the same loss have sustained a double blow: the literal absence of one caregiver and the altered capacity and emotional support of the other.
Changes in Continuing Relationships. The demise or permanent absence of someone important can change relationships among the survivors. When a parent dies who served to block family differences and ensure that "everyone would get along," those submerged conflicts can burst out. It is a bit reminiscent of the multiethnic countries of Eastern Europe or the Middle East who were ruled by a dictator, until the dictator was overthrown and sectarian strife broke out. In some other families — those where favorites were played by the parents — I have occasionally seen the passing of the parents permit the siblings to get over their grudges and become closer now that no one is present to "stir the pot" to a boil, setting one child against another. Then there is the departure of a central figure in a group of friends to another city. His or her loss can, in effect, be the loss of the glue that held the group together; or, it can be the opportunity to reform the group and perhaps add someone new.
The Death of a Child. This is the terror that haunts every parent who ever loved his or her little flesh and blood. Again, each situation is different, but I will comment on two possible outcomes only. Some folks effectively deaden themselves to their surviving children or to any new child who is born. Consciously or unconsciously, they are steeling themselves against the possibility of still another emotional wound. Blame, too, can raise its ugly face. If one or the other member of the couple believes that his or her partner "caused" the death by action, word, or inaction, the marriage itself is at risk. The suicide of a young person too easily sets off this chain of events. Yet it must be said that many of us have also tried to deaden ourselves after the loss of a romantic love. Time usually softens our hearts and fuels the courage to try again, but not always.
Meeting Someone Like Your Lost Love. My wife and I have made wonderful friends in the University of Chicago's four-year "Basic Program" for adults. One is a man named John Kain. For Aleta, John is more than a friend: he reminds her of her father, who died in 1968 before I had a chance to meet him. She describes John and her dad as "the kind of men whom everyone wishes to have as a friend, the salt of the earth." Thomas Henek's funeral drew hundreds and I am convinced he must have been the genuine article: someone you could trust, a person who believed in fair play, and an unprejudiced man raised in a prejudiced home; a man who lived a principled life with strong, but not inflexible opinions, a sense of humor, and, above all, the kind of guy you wanted to have next to you in war-time (he was in the infantry in WWII) — a buddy who had your back. Aleta says that talking to John saddens her not in the least, but makes her feel good because of his likeness to her father. Perhaps you will be so lucky after someone essential passes away, that years later you can, in effect, benefit from his likeness in a new relationship such as hers with John.
The Loss of Your History. We've all read history books with dates, statistics, events, and conjecture about what caused those occurrences. Usually historians wait a bit before writing books, in part because one needs some perspective to understand how the puzzle pieces interlocked and how the dominoes fell against each other before they stopped. Such books have the advantage of distance, but unless they are written by someone, now usually aged, who lived that history, one tends to miss the authentic voice of the person who was there. Moreover, written history does not take the form of a novel, and is necessarily more concerned with the big picture than those particular lives in which you or I might be most interested. Oral and video history projects, as well as photographs and home videos keep some of that alive. Yet, inevitably, there are things one wishes to know too late, even if you have interviewed an older parent or relative and kept the recording in a safe place. There are always new questions about times that were very different from the time we live in today. Parents and grandparents also are typically our only link to the days before video cameras were in everyone's pocket.
The Undead Feelings about the Dead. In the superb 1970 movie I Never Sang For My Father, starring Gene Hackman and Melvyn Douglas, the first voice we hear is that of Hackman as the son of Douglas: "Death ends a life. But it does not end a relationship." Such a death, where issues between child and parent were never resolved, finds the survivor struggling to heal himself alone or with the help of others, but with no ability to talk things through with his deceased progenitor. As a therapist, it was often my experience that my patients didn't even know the extent to which they were still haunted by the neglect, criticism, or frank abuse of a late mom or dad. Indeed, on occasion, someone who was victimized only felt "safe" after the perpetrator's death. Only then could her conscious and subconscious defenses drop enough to permit exploration and full awareness of the mistreatment she suffered. To some degree, there was still a small child within her (metaphorically speaking) who was terrified of what would happen if she talked about the thing she knew was never to be mentioned.
The Things You Said or Didn't Say. Conscience can be a troublesome trait. Your words or actions — the things you believe you ought or ought not to have done while your parent was alive or your lover was still with you — are now put in "your permanent record," as teachers of my grade school era would threaten from time to time about in-school misbehavior. This can happen even if your parents or your lover weren't the best, but made you feel that it was you who were at fault. You will see this played out realistically in the movie I just mentioned, I Never Sang For My Father. If you cannot find the movie, read the Robert Anderson play of the same name, upon which it was based.
Unsolved Mysteries. Regardless of how much time you spend in therapy or hours on your own considering and reconsidering the actions and words of someone you loved — romantically or otherwise — more than likely there will be elements of understanding that elude you. Realize that you need to observe limits on how much time you spend reflecting on your past. You must live the only life you have in the present, regardless of what has been lost. As the great black Hall of Fame pitcher Satchel Paige said, "Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you."
Empathy. Though no one would choose to grow by experiencing loss, we tend to learn more from sadness than happiness, especially about the human condition. There is a depth that can come from loss and knowing that you can come out the other side. No life is clear sailing all the way. Losing a close friend, lover, brother, sister, or parent not only can enhance our ability to be kind to others, but also to be kind to ourselves. More than that, it silently speaks to the folly of believing that the accumulation of wonderful material things is more important than spending time with those you care about, while reminding us that those objects can be replaced, but a life cannot be.
Appreciation. A recent episode of the great TV comedy series, The Big Bang Theory, presented Bob Newhart as the ghost of the just-deceased "Professor Proton;" a man whose science show for children had inspired two of the program's main characters, Sheldon and Leonard, to become physicists. Both of them had come to meet and know their childhood hero in his old age, and were troubled by his loss. Sheldon, when he is "visited" by the ghost, believes the Professor to have returned in the manner of Obie-Wan Knobe, the Jedi Master of the Star Wars films, who "lives" posthumously as a mentor and guide to Luke Skywalker. Sheldon is a brilliant but very self-involved and condescending young man, something the Professor is wise enough to identify. Proton responds to Sheldon's grief with the suggestion that he begin to show appreciation to those still alive and around him while he can.
If there is any positive message in an ended love, I think the Professor had it right. The human heart does tend to heal, as the history of our shared humanity reveals. The danger is in ignoring the terrible fact that no one will be here forever. Loss reminds us to get on with life, to do what is most important, and to show and tell those we love just what they mean to us. Time sometimes is generous with us and gives us lots of opportunities. But Father Time does not put out printed departure schedules for the passengers on his train. We do not know when the wild and wonderful, up and down ride of life will end.
Don't wait for the right time. The right time to show appreciation is right now.
The above photo is a U.S. Department of Defense photo essay taken by John Crosby. It is not about a permanent loss, but the emotion seemed to me to fit this topic. According to Wikimedia Commons, "U.S. Army Spc. Nathan Martin hugs his father a final goodbye before the 3-19th Agribusiness Development Team's Afghanistan departure ceremony on Camp Atterbury Joint Maneuver Training Center, Indiana, Sept. 25, 2010. Martin, assigned to the Security Force Platoon, is saying goodbye to his loved ones one last time before deploying."
advice, life, love, psychotherapy, relationships, wisdom	anniversary of a death, Bob Newhart, death of a child, family history, grieving, growing in empathy because of your own loss, guilt after a death or loss, I Never Sang For My Father, incapacity of a surviving parent to help grieving children, living in the present, loss, meeting someone who reminds you of a deceased parent, meeting someone who reminds you of a former love, Obie-Wan Knobe, resolving issues between a parent and child after the parent dies, showing appreciation to those you love, Star Wars, The Big Bang Theory	13 Comments


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Learn somethingJeremy Hunt announces date for government's next Budget
Jeremy Hunt announces date for government's next Budget
Posted: Mon 19th Dec 2022
The government will announce a full Budget on Wednesday 15 March 2023, the chancellor has confirmed.
In a written statement to Parliament, Jeremy Hunt said:
"Today I can inform the House that I have asked the Office for Budget Responsibility (OBR) to prepare a forecast for 15 March 2023 to accompany a Spring Budget.
"This forecast, in addition to the forecast that took place in November 2022, will fulfil the obligation for the OBR to produce at least two forecasts in a financial year, as is required by legislation."
Hunt announced a range of measures, including tax rises and spending cuts, during the Autumn Statement in November.
It was designed to calm the financial markets after the mini-Budget from former Liz Truss and her chancellor Kwasi Kwarteng which included several tax cuts that were not assessed by the OBR. Most of those measures have been reversed.
The March 2023 Budget will follow a tough winter for consumers and businesses due to rising energy costs, high inflation and increased interest rates.
According to the Times, the government is set to extend the Energy Bill Relief Scheme for all businesses by up to a year from April 2023, although the support is likely to be much less generous than it currently is.
The newspaper said prime minister Rishi Sunak is considering extra discounts for energy intensive sectors such as hospitality and manufacturing.
Image credit: HM Treasury
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redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


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A One Exterminators in Grants Pass
Coos County
Deschutes County
Josephine County
Bat Removal
More Pest Control Services
Insect Removal & Extermination Grants Pass
There are several of types of insects that can takeover your home and quickly become a nuisance, along with causing potential harm and damage to your home. Here at A-One Exterminators we treat them all. Below is a bit of information of how to identify and treat some of the more common.
There are over 35,000 described species of spiders worldwide, with about 3,000 occurring in North America. Many species of spiders are household pests. Wherever their food is available, spiders are likely to be found. All spiders are predators, feeding mainly on insects and other small arthropods.
Description: Black widow spiders are most recognized for the red hourglass shape on the back. Contrary to legend, female black widow spiders rarely devour the male black widow spider after mating.
Habits: Black widow spiders spin their webs near ground level. They often build their webs in protected areas, such as in boxes and in firewood.
Habitat: Black widow spiders are often found around wood piles and gain entry into a structure when firewood is carried into a building. They are also found under eaves, in boxes, and other areas where they are undisturbed.
Threats: The venom of a black widow spider is a neurotoxin and is used as a defense. Black widow spiders do not bite humans instinctively. The black widow spider bite can cause severe pain. Young children and the elderly are especially susceptible to a severe reaction to a black widow spider bite.
Prevention: Avoid black widow spider bites by wearing heavy gloves when moving items that have been stored for a long period of time. Spiders often hide in shoes, so check shoes and shake them out before wearing. When spider webs are visible, use caution before putting your hands or feet in that area.
Description: Spiders, including the hobo spider, vary considerably in appearance, and identification can be difficult. Identification relies on an examination of the spider's anatomy using a microscope.
Habitat: Hobo spiders construct a funnel-shaped structure of silk sheeting and lie in wait at the small end of the funnel for prey insects to blunder onto their webs. Hobo spiders sometimes build their webs in or around human habitations. Empty warehouses and dirty toilets are perfect places for a Hobo's mating grounds.
Threats: Although this species of spider has a reputation for aggressiveness, they will normally avoid contact with humans. Most bites occur when the spider is accidentally crushed or squeezed by a human. The spider's venom is strong enough to cause considerable local pain and, purportedly, necrosis.
Prevention: Avoid hobo spider bites by wearing heavy gloves when moving items that have been stored for a long period of time. Spiders often hide in shoes, so check shoes and shake them out before wearing. When spider webs are visible, use caution before putting your hands or feet in that area.
Bed bugs are found all across the U.S. – including here in Oregon. They are most likely to occur in urban areas where population size, apartment living and increased mobility fuel their rapid spread and breeding.
Bed Bug Identification:
Adult bed bugs are brown to reddish-brown, less than 1/4-inch long, broad and nearly as flat as a sheet of paper.
After feeding, the adults become bloated and dark red.
Nymphs are very tiny and almost clear.
Eggs are pearly white, and only 1 mm long, making them very difficult to see with the naked eye.
Bed bug bites usually look like a row of red welts. They may be itchy or irritating, especially for those who are sensitive or allergic to the bed bug bite. But some people have no reaction to or physical evidence of a bed bug bite.
Bed Bugs: The Problems
Bed bugs enter on people, bags, furniture or other items that have come from an infested area. Once inside, they are most often found around beds, thus their name, but they will seek shelter in other areas as well, such as in couches, behind picture frames, on night stands and under carpeting.
They mature very quickly, lay hundreds of eggs, and can live up to a year.
Bed bugs bite! Although they are not known to spread disease, their bite can be itchy and irritating.
How do you know if you have bed bugs?
You may …
See a bed bug crawling on your bed, couch, walls, floor, etc.
Wake up with bed bug bites.
See blood drops or lines from the bed bug feeding.
See bed bug fecal matter, which looks like small black dots or smears where the bed bugs shelter – in the seams of the mattress or box spring, behind the headboard, etc.
A-One Bed Bug Management
Because bed bugs can hide in so many places, they can be difficult to detect, an infestation can build (or rebuild) from a single reproductive pair of bed bugs, and control is intensive and requires the use of professional products. So it is critical that you contact A-One immediately if you find any signs of bed bugs.
To treat your residence or place of business:
First we inspect thoroughly to confirm the presence or absence of bed bugs.
If bed bugs are found, we treat all areas
We will provide guidance and recommendations to help you to prepare for our service, enable us to access all needed areas, and reduce the chance of re-infestation.
We will treat all areas in which bed bugs are found, returning as many times as it takes to achieve control.
Unfortunately a single service cannot eliminate bed bugs. A typical program includes an intensive initial service followed by follow-up visits over several months.
We can also provide preventive treatments to help keep infestations from occurring or from spreading.
Cockroaches are among the most important pests of households and commercial establishments. Not only is their mere presence a nuisance, but they are known to be capable of carrying many common disease pathogens as well as causing allergic reactions in many people. Of the approximately 4,000 living species of cockroaches in the world, about 70 occur in the United States.
One of the oldest insects — fossil remains date back 200 million years.
Crawl around on six legs, have wings and two antennae.
Like dark, damp places with a plentiful food supply; hide during the day in warm, dark places, such as under sinks, behind dishwashers, stoves and refrigerators, and inside cupboards.
Feed on a variety of foods, especially starchy and sugary materials, including book bindings, photographic film, linens, leather goods and numerous food items; usually forage at night.
Can survive a month or more without food, but less than two weeks without water.
Have an acrid odor that may permeate items with which they come in contact.
Can transmit bacteria and organisms responsible for diseases in humans including food poisoning, cholera, dysentery, salmonellosis and strep.
A study by the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases and a report in the New England Journal of Medicine indicate that exposure to cockroach allergens is a major health concern for asthmatic children.
Under optimum conditions, cockroaches can produce two million offspring in one year, with an average breeding season resulting in 350,000 offspring.
Found around the world. Two species are prevalent in the United States, the American cockroach and the German cockroach.
The American cockroach has reddish-brown wings and light markings on its thorax and reaches lengths of up to 1.5 inches.
The German cockroach is between one-half and five-eighths inches long and is light brown with two dark stripes down its back.
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Grants Pass, OR 97526
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Real Estate Specialist and Consultant, Valerie Torelli, is the owner and founder of Torelli Realty, a residential realty firm based in Costa Mesa, CA. For the past 30 years Valerie has been engaged in the full time sale, lease and property management of residential real estate.
Valerie has personally closed escrow on over 2,000 homes. Her efforts have made Torelli Realty into the #1 real estate company in Costa Mesa. As a result, they dominate the Costa Mesa market by representing more sellers and buyers than any other company.
In addition, Torelli Realty has become a fixture in the community, hosting events and sponsoring local schools and organizations to show its commitment. The team's success can best be exemplified by its core values. The group calls them the 4 C's: commitment, connection, compassion, and community.
913 Presidio Drive, Costa Mesa, CA 92626 In Escrow!
2972 Mindanao Dr Costa Mesa CA Mesa Verde Inner Loop Pool home with 2 master suites, bonus room and new stunning open kitchen. Cul de Sac.


Educomp is the largest education company in India and the only company spread across the entire education ecosystem. From schools to skills; over last two decades Educomp group has empowered over 30 million learners and educators across over 65,000 schools to imagine, think and create a better future.
Educomp smartclass is our teacher-led educational content solution that dramatically improves learning outcomes in private schools. With systematically launched new innovative versions, Educomp smartclass is known to consistently raise the barriers to entry for competition. For government schools our EduReach division has partnered with 14 state governments, implementing large scale public-private-partnership projects, taking IT education and IT enabled learning to the remotest of schools across the nation.
Yonex, the undisputed global leader in the manufacture of badminton equipment and accessories, has played a major role in promoting and endorsing the fastest racquet sport in the world – Badminton. Yonex is the world leader in Badminton, Tennis and Golf equipment. At Yonex, we take the game as seriously as you do.
The sport of badminton in India has seen a huge upsurge in popularity in the recent past and much of the credit for this positive turnaround goes to Yonex Sunrise, who has helped instill the sport into the psyche of young sportspersons.
Established in 2009, Greendot Health Foods Ltd. is part of the well-known Globe Capacitor Group of companies. First company to launch Nacho Crisps (tortilla) by brand name Cornitos in Indian snack food market in 10 exotic flavours. It further extended its product range with the launch of roasted nuts and taco shell packs.
Cornitos has an extensive distribution network across India. Its complete range of products is available in retail, e-retail and modern trade stores. Cornitos products are exported globally including USA, Australia, China, Singapore, UAE and South East Asia.
Eicher introduced "The First Safe School Bus" in India in 1996, thereby pioneering the concept of School Bus. These school bus specific features have now become a norm in the industry. Apart from being safest the school buses are now available in enhanced features, superior aesthetics & increased passenger comfort. The first company to come out with a specialized school bus which incorporated all possible safety measures. Eicher continues to adapt and innovate to meet the revised global standard norms for safety from time to time.
ISFC is a non-banking finance company engaged in the business of lending to educational institutions and entrepreneurs managing such institutions. ISFC's objective is to assist schools and other education institutions in capacity building through infrastructure improvements, thereby enabling students to access quality education.
ISFC'S key focus areas include affordable private schools, private schools, play schools, private degree and vocational colleges, coaching centers, teachers and SMEs catering goods and services to education segment.
Founded on life-enriching values, Jagran Lakecity University is a government recognized and state approved private university. Committed to providing its students a holistic environment that promotes self-awareness and competency.
In 2016, it was awarded as "University of the Year" third time in a row by FMPCCI, Government of Madhya Pradesh, making it a vital part of higher education scenario in Central India. The University was also recognized as "Global League Institution" by Great Place to Study Research Institute at House of Commons, UK.
Designed with the help of inputs from renowned academicians and industry leaders, the university offers degree courses in Management, Media & Communication, Banking, Finance, Law, Hospitality, Tourism, Commerce, Economics, Engineering & Technology, Humanities & Arts and Education at undergraduate, postgraduate and research level.
Novabeans provides the most advanced and comprehensive 3D design-to-manufacturing solutions including 3D printers, 3D scanners, 3D printing pens, 3D printing materials, 3D printing training workshops, 3D printing school kits, 3D printing professional services, made to order 3D design, 3D printing labs and 3D print consultancy in India. Novabeans was founded by IT professionals in 2014 and today the company has grown into a premier educational provider of 3D printing technology in India helping schools and educational institutes adopt 3D printing technology.
Trivago is the world's largest hotel search website which allows users to compare prices of over 700,000 hotels from more than 175 booking sites. More than 75 million visitors use trivago every month as an independent source of information to find their ideal hotel by entering the desired destination and travel dates, search results instantly display all available accommodations. A wide selection of 160 filter criteria, including wireless internet, parking or travelers with pets, allows users to refine their results. From luxury hotels to budget hostels, people find the best deal on trivago.
C fore is a multidisciplinary research organisation. It specialises in election surveys, market research, opinion polls and performance appraisal of educational institutions.
EducationWorld is India's premier analysis monthly magazine reporting on the entire education spectrum from kindergarten to PhD. Promoted in 1999 with the mission to "build the pressure of public opinion to make education the no.1 item on the national agenda", EW is currently celebrating 17 years of uninterrupted publishing and has a national readership of 1 million. Its promoter editor is Dilip Thakore, the former founder editor of Business India and Businessworld.


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Forecast Update: CA's Prop. 61 Now A Toss-Up, New Poll Shows
Alex Lash
Xconomy San Francisco —
Xconomy reported Thursday that support for Proposition 61, the California initiative to rein in drug prices, had slipped in a recent poll to a slim 51 percent majority, with 24 percent opposed and 25 percent undecided.
Since then, a new state poll from a different pollster has put Prop. 61's chances at a toss-up: 47 percent for, 47 percent against, and a much smaller 6 percent undecided.
The initiative has attracted $109 million from opponents, as of last week. The top ten, from Merck and Pfizer ($9.4 million each) to GlaxoSmithKline ($4.5 million), are all drug companies, and their advertising campaign is having an impact.
Supporters have pitched in $17 million, mainly from the AIDS Healthcare Foundation in Los Angeles and the California Nurses Association. U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders is holding last-minute rallies and lending his face and voice to ad campaigns to drum up support with an anti-pharma message he used frequently in his run for the Democratic presidential nomination.
If voters say yes, Prop. 61 would require state healthcare entities to pay drug prices equal to or less than those paid by the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, which are generally considered some of the lowest, if not the lowest, in the country. Those California entities spent $4.2 billion on prescription drugs in the fiscal 2014-15 year. The measure would lead to "significant savings," according to proponents.
The state's legislative analyst office has not backed up those claims, saying instead that the fiscal impact was unclear for two main reasons. First, the prices negotiated by the VA are secret. They start with a discounted price list, but can go down from there. It's assumed the VA gets even more discounts, but it's not transparent.
Second, there's no telling what the drug companies will do if Prop. 61 passes. Opponents have hinted at unintended consequences, and executives have sounded alarms in recent weeks.
In the new Field Poll released November 4, support for Prop. 61 was divided starkly by party lines. Registered Democrats were for it 60 percent, against it 33 percent, with 7 percent undecided. Registered Republicans were for it 25 percent, against it 72 percent, and 3 percent undecided.
The survey took place in the last week of October.
Photo courtesy of Anthony Quintano via Creative Commons.
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ATGthePodcast 137 - A Conversation with Lettie Conrad, Product R&D Consultant
Today's episode features a conversation with Lettie Conrad, Product R&D Consultant. The interview was conducted by Matthew Ismail, Editor in chief of the Charleston Briefings and Conference Director at the Charleston Conference.
Lettie brings 20 years' experience in professional and scholarly publishing to her...
ATGthePodcast 136 - Interview with Steve Fallon, De Gruyter, on the University Press Library Collaborative
This episode features Leah Hinds, Executive Director of the Charleston Hub, and Tom Gilson, Associate Editor for Against the Grain, as they interview Steve Fallon, Vice President, Americas and Strategic Partnerships at De Gruyter. The conversation follows topics surrounding the University Press Library Collaborative,...
ATGthePodcast 135 - A Conversation with Juliane Schneider, Senior Bioinformatics Analyst and Data Liaison, Sage Bionetworks
Today's episode features a conversation with Juliane Schneider, Senior Bioinformatics Analyst and Data Liaison at Sage Bionetworks. The interview was conducted by Matthew Ismail, Editor in chief of the Charleston Briefings and Conference Director at the Charleston Conference.
Juliane obtained a dual degree in Library...


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You are here: Coast To Coast Fanzine News Bulletins » Black Country Communion ROCKS the UK
Black Country Communion ROCKS the UK
Black Country Communion have now completed their sold out debut UK shows to fans who travelled far and wide for these much anticipated gigs.
The band; Glenn Hughes, Joe Bonamassa, Jason Bonham and Derek Sherinian, thank everyone for the support and love and promise to return in 2011, along with many other worldwide appearances!
Meantime, whether you were there or not, you can now view photos, setlists and some fan filmed video from the shows!
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In fact, impact craters are the most common landforms in the entire solar system. They are abundant on the solid surfaces of just about every planet, moon, and asteroid in the Sun's family. The exceptions are bodies that experience rapid erosion (Earth, for example) or frequent geological or volcanic activity (examples include Jupiter's moons Io and Europa, Saturn's moon Titan, and Venus).
Impact craters form in a range of sizes from microscopic to giant basins thousands of kilometers (miles) across. However, for simplicity, scientists sort craters into four basic categories: simple craters, complex craters, peak-ring craters, and multi-ring basins.
All impact craters share certain recognizable similarities and features. But as you might guess, details of their features differ and that can give geologists clues about the specifics of each impact and the conditions at the time of impact and afterward.
But first a small detour. Not all round holes in the ground are impact craters. Volcanoes make features that partly resemble impact craters, but are formed in a totally different way. Explore the Volcanoes entry for more details, but for now use this rule of thumb: If a crater in question is large and sits at the highest point of a volcano, it's probably a volcanic caldera, not an impact crater. Calderas form when lava inside a volcano recedes and the volcano summit collapses.
So what is an impact crater? How does nature make them on Mars?


Flying Solo on Valentine's Day this year? Join us at B.R.I. for a scratch cooked amped up version of a TV Dinner and a beer! We'll be serving up our take on a classic TV dinner for all the single folks out there. Hell, you might even hook up with that perfect match that enjoys the simple things in life like awesome TV dinners at a brewery! Who knows?


noun, plural cor·po·ra lu·te·a [kawr-per-uh loo-tee-uh] /ˈkɔr pər ə ˈlu ti ə/.
Anatomy, Zoology. a ductless gland developed within the ovary by the reorganization of a Graafian follicle following ovulation.
Pharmacology. an extract of this gland, usually of the hog or cow, the chief product of which is progesterone.
A yellow mass of cells that forms from a mature ovarian follicle after ovulation and that secretes progesterone. If fertilization of the egg occurs, the corpus luteum persists for the first few months of pregnancy.


text:
Dezső Kosztolányi (29. března 1885 – 3. listopadu 1936) byl maďarský básník, prozaik a překladatel.

Život
Narodil se v  uherském městě Subotica, které mu později posloužilo jako model pro fiktivní město Sárszeg, použité v jeho novelách. Začal studovat v Budapešti a později ve Vídni, kde také začal pracovat jako novinář. Od roku 1908 byl budapešťským zpravodajem.

Dílo
V roce 1907 vydal první básnickou sbírku Mezi čtyřmi zdmi, v roce 1910 druhou, Nářky chudého dítěte, která byla velmi úspěšná. Od té doby vydal obrovské množství novel (např. svazek Kornél Esti, 1933) i básnických sbírek, téměř jednu knihu ročně.

Básnické sbírky
 Chléb a víno (1920)
 Nářky smutného muže (1924)
 Nahý (1929)
 'Zúčtování (1935)

 Romány
 Krvavý básník Nero (1922, česky 1942)
 Skřivánek (1924, česky jako Pavučina 1961)
 Zlatý drak (1925, česky 1974)
 Anna Édešová (1926, česky 1974; předtím jako Služka 1939)

Od roku 1908 přispíval do časopisu Nyugat (Západ) svými básněmi. Zemřel v roce 1936 na rakovinu. Mimo své vlastní dílo byl velmi plodným překladatelem, zejména z angličtiny. Do maďarštiny přeložil například Romea a Julii, Alenku v říši divů či Kiplingovu báseň Když. Překládal také básně Rainera Maria Rilkeho a Paula Valéryho. Antologie překladů: Moderní básníci (1913), Čínské a japonské básně'' (1931).

Odkazy

Související články
 Seznam maďarských spisovatelů

Externí odkazy

Maďarští spisovatelé
Narození v roce 1885
Úmrtí v roce 1936
Muži
Maďarští překladatelé
Básníci tvořící maďarsky
Spisovatelé píšící maďarsky
Překladatelé do maďarštiny
Překladatelé z angličtiny
Narození v Subotici
Narození 29. března
Úmrtí 3. listopadu
Úmrtí v Budapešti

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


text:
Stone Garden Statues Back
SOLD Amitaba Buddha in Dharmachakra Mudra 94"
Item# 77ls117
Item# 77ls117 1887 Store Reviews
Purchase SOLD Amitaba Buddha in Dharmachakra Mudra 94"
Materials: Hand Carved Indonesian Lava Stone
Total Height Including Base: 94 inches or 240 cms
Base Width & Depth: 59 x 47 inches
Weight: 5512 pounds or 2500 kgs
The Buddha is utterly huge! He is hand carved from one block of lava stone and would instantly transform any space into a sacred space
The Buddha is in the dharmachakra mudra which is the hand position he took for his first sermon after his Enlightenment in the Deer Park at Sarnath, India
Covering his entire robes there is writing that says "I take refuge in Amitabha Buddha"
He is in the full lotus or padmasana seated position with his hands give a perfect natural space to put offerings to Lord Buddha
About Buddha
This one of a kind Buddha statue is hand carved by the artists of Bali. The sculpture pictured is the only sculpture Lotus Sculpture has like this in our store. When you order this piece you will receive this exact sculpture. The Buddha is seated with his hands in the Dharmachakra mudra. In sanskrit Dharmachakra means the 'Wheel of Dharma'. This mudra symbolizes one of the most important moments in the life of Buddha, the occasion when he preached to his companions the first sermon after his Enlightenment in the Deer Park at Sarnath. It thus denotes the setting into motion of the Wheel of the teaching of the Dharma. In this mudra the thumb and index finger of both hands touch at their tips to form a circle. This circle represents the Wheel of Dharma, or in metaphysical terms, the union of method and wisdom.
About Lava Stone: The lava stone used for our sculptures was quarried in the volcanic mountains of Indonesia. The lava stone is a solid stone that is perfect for any type of location and weather conditions, hot or cold, wet or dry. The stone is versatile in that it can be colored in a wide spectrum of colors. It can also be polished or unpolished giving giving it a clean or rough feel. In humid conditions if it is left untouched it takes on a very mysterious, antique, worn look like you would see in the temple ruins of south east Asia.
"If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change."
~ Buddha~
The Buddha, whose original name was Siddhartha Gautama, was the founder of Buddhism, the religion and the philosophical system that produced a great culture throughout much of southern and eastern Asia. Buddha, meaning "awakened one" or "enlightened one" is a title not a name. In Hindu Dogma, the Buddha is viewed as being the 9th avatar of the Hindu god Vishnu.
The Buddha was a son of the rulers Sakyas. He was married at the age of 16 and lived in luxury and comfort sheltered from the harsh realities of life. When he was 29 he realized that men are subject to old age, sickness and death. He became aware of the suffering inherent in existence. He resolved to give up princely life and become a wandering ascetic (samana) in search for the Truth.
With the two of samanas he attained mystical states of elevated consciousness but he failed to find the Truth. He continued his search and was joined by five ascetics in a grove near Uruvela, where he practiced sever austerities and self-mortification for six years. When he fainted away in weakness, he abandoned ascetic practices to seek his own path to Enlightenment. Discarding the teachings of his contemporaries, through meditation he achieved Enlightenment, or ultimate understanding. There after the Buddha instructed his followers in the dharma (truth) and the "Middle Way" a path between worldly life and extremes of self-denial.
The essence of the Buddha's early preaching was said to be the four Noble truths: 1) life is fundamentally disappointment and suffering. 2) suffering is a result of one's desires for pleasure, power, and continued existence; 3) to stop disappointment and suffering on must stop desiring; and 4) the way to stop desiring and thus suffering is the Noble eight fold path - right views, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right awareness and right concentration. The realization of the truth of anatman (no eternal self) was taught as essential for the indescribable state of release called nirvana.
Click here to learn more about Buddha
Lava stone statues from Bali do not need much maintenance. The best way to maintain the statue is to simply dust the piece periodically to keep any dirt from accumulating. They can be used for both indoor and outdoor use.
Soap and warm water is the best way to maintain the statue. You can use a small brush to get into the small crevices of the statue like the hands and hair.
Lava stone's durability makes it perfect for cold winters and hot summers of any climate. The stone can stand up to the harshest conditions of heat and bitter cold. We suggest you bathe the sculpture at least once a year so that dirt does not collect on the sculpture. This will maintain the sculpture for your grandchildren and then their grandchildren!
If you have any questions concerning your lava stone statue please email us at [email protected] or call us at 1(760) 994-4455.
This sculpture is currently in our warehouse in Bali and will be shipped to our warehouse in Oceanside, California or directly to the custom depending on the where in the US the sculpture is being delivered. Lotus Sculpture pays for the shipping and import costs to Oceanside, CA. This process takes approximately 80 days. The client then pays for shipping from Oceanside, CA or the closest port to the final destination. Shipping is calculated after the purchase. If you place your order online shipping will be $0. Shipping will then be added to the invoice after the order is placed. Shipping will be calculated based on the weight of the sculpture and the distance from Oceanside, CA. Please call 760-994-4455 or email us [email protected] for a shipping quote.
Click here to view pictures of our freight packing
This sculpture is currently in our warehouse in Bali and will be shipped directly to the customer. This process takes approximately 80 days. Shipping is calculated after the purchase. If you place your order online shipping will be $0. Shipping will then be added to the invoice after the order is placed. Please call 760-994-4455 or email us [email protected] for a shipping quote.
Free Shipping Marble Standing Abhaya Buddha Statue 27" $1390
Custom Order for Large Devi Tara Statue 83" $22500
Stone Large Devi Tara Garden Statue 93" $26000
White Marble Large Foo Dogs Statues 47" $7900
Custom Stone Large Meditating Garden Buddha Statue 106" $24900
Tell a Friend about SOLD Amitaba Buddha in Dharmachakra Mudra 94"


He tried mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, again with no results. American Writers; 54 Faulkner born in New Albany, Mississippi in 1897. After drawing in the audience by depicting an empty, soulless world, he shifts to a more sanguine world. Until he does so, he labors under a curse. William Faulkner was raised a southern boy, whose writing was influenced by two people and one major event, and his greatest work is A Fable. I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail.
These seemed very relevant to the analysis of the speech and allowed an understanding of why this made it effective. The transcript, found in the ceaselessly inspiring , follows. Faulkner then dedicates the rest of his speech to discuss the steps that a writer should take to become a good writer. He strategically arranges the speech, chooses specific stylistic elements to use, and appeals to his audience in many ways, to achieve his purpose of inspiring young writers. Along with many other authors, Stephen Crane would disagree with Eliot and Faulkner on their views because he was a naturalistic author.
Structure Occasion: Faulkner is accepting this award to ensure that people know he writes for the love of it, and not for the fame. But I would like to do the same with the acclaim too, by using this moment as a pinnacle from which I might be listened to by the young men and women already dedicated to the same anguish and travail, among whom is already that one who will some day stand here where I am standing. So this award is only mine in trust. To demonstrate his contrasting views, Faulkner uses antonyms throughout his speech. Following the success of The Portable Faulkner, Cowley lobbied for the re-release of and. When one listens to the speech, Faulkner rarely varies his tone at all throughout the entire length.
I am a friend to dogs. During the selection process in 1949, the Nobel Committee for Literature decided that none of the year's nominations met the criteria as outlined in the will of Alfred Nobel. Synopsis American writer William Faulkner was born in New Albany, Mississippi in 1897. The publication of The Portable Faulkner vaulted the formerly overlooked author out of literary obscurity in the United States. Faulkner did achieve his purpose, or you could say, his duty.
Faulkner says that writing has become powerless during this modern era. He also valued education and took advantage of it. He called his cosmos Yoknapatawpha County. In her speech she begins by expressing her gratitude, and persuading her audience that she is worth listening to. Until he does so, he lives under a curse.
The Faulkner family lived there since before the Civil War. He wants his work to be what people recognize, not the man behind it. He must learn them again. Faulkner was relatively unknown until he received the Nobel Prize in Literature. I decline to accept the end of man. American Writers; 55a Faulkner's great-grandfather was William C. White would come to echo two decades later in his famous meditation on , Faulkner I refuse to accept this.
To follow along and read the missing ending,. Theodore Roosevelt was born on October 27th of 1858 into a Dutch family living in New York. He must teach himself that the basest of all things is to be afraid; and, teaching himself that, forget it forever, leaving no room in his workshop for anything but the old verities and truths of the heart, the old universal truths lacking which any story is ephemeral and doomed — love and honor and pity and pride and compassion and sacrifice. Maud Butler was his mother and Murray, John, and Dean were his three brothers. He writes not of love but of lust, of defeats in which nobody loses anything of value, of victories without hope and, worst of all, without pity or compassion. In a sentiment that E. Though many have accepted the easy way out by saying man will simply endure because one can hear his soft, inexhaustible voice even after death, Faulkner also refuses this.
Faulkner evidently wanted to set right the misinterpretation of his own work as pessimistic. Faulkner reads the speech very quickly, without pausing for commas and periods, let alone for dramatic emphasis. Additional Note: Thanks to David DeGusta for his helpful corrections to the written transcript above. The Ole Miss page also includes a partial recording of Faulkner giving his speech in Stockholm on December 10, 1950, along with film footage of the ceremony. After that I will discuss the 2010 Nobel Prize for Medicine, 1901 Nobel Prize for Physics, and the 1930 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine. He reshaped the way in which the world views literature today.
He continued it for forty-five minutes, without results. Both of these shooting occurred in Colorado so with Obama holding his speech at this time in this state it will strike closer to home for the people. The poet's, the writer's, duty is to write about these things. It is easy enough to say that man is immortal simply because he will endure: that when the last ding-dong of doom has clanged and faded from the last worthless rock hanging tideless in the last red and dying evening, that even then there will still be one more sound: that of his puny inexhaustible voice, still talking. Second she discusses the importance of the environment and explains how the Green Belt Movement has helped and changed the world. The anthology received glowing reviews and introduced many Americans to Faulkner's masterful storytelling and revolutionary techniques.
If you find any joy and value in what I do, please consider becoming a Sustaining Patron with a recurring monthly donation of your choosing, between a cup of tea and a good lunch. He is saying that the writer today no longer focus on things that can be understood by all. He is immortal, not because he alone among creatures has an inexhaustible voice, but because he has a soul, a spirit capable of compassion and sacrifice and endurance. He writes not of love but of lust, of defeats in which nobody loses anything of value, of victories without hope and, worst of all, without pity or compassion. Although Faulkner uses many appeals to target his audience and achieve his purpose, it is the use and overlap of all of them which makes his appeal so successful. The tone he does choose is somewhat meek, which could be attributed to his awareness of the gravity of the occasion. There is only the question: When will I be blown up? So this award is only mine in trust.


text:
Q: Activity with a transparent background I'm creating a reusable Loading screen to use between Activities, on the LoadingActivity I added a semi transparent background resource, but I'm unable to see the old Activity.
public class LoadingActivity extends Activity {
    public static int REQUEST_LOADING_SCREEN = 40;

    @Override
    protected void onCreate(Bundle savedInstance) {
        super.onCreate(savedInstance);

        FrameLayout mainLayout = new FrameLayout(this);

        mainLayout.setBackgroundResource(R.drawable.background_translucent);

        LinearLayout layout = new LinearLayout(this);
        layout.setGravity(Gravity.CENTER);

        LayoutParams params = LayoutParamsFactory.newMatchFrameLP();
        params.gravity = Gravity.CENTER;
        mainLayout.addView(layout, params);

        ProgressBar bar = new ProgressBar(this);
        bar.setIndeterminate(true);
        layout.addView(bar, LayoutParamsFactory.newWrapLinearLP());

        TextView text = new TextView(this);
        text.setText("Loading...");
        layout.addView(text, LayoutParamsFactory.newWrapLinearLP());

        setContentView(mainLayout);
    }

    public static void openFor(Activity activity) {
        Intent intent = new Intent(activity, LoadingActivity.class);
        activity.startActivityForResult(intent, REQUEST_LOADING_SCREEN);
    }

    public static void closeFrom(Activity activity) {
        activity.finishActivity(REQUEST_LOADING_SCREEN);
    }
}

EDIT:
Even with:
mainLayout.setBackgroundColor(Color.TRANSPARENT);
layout.setBackgroundColor(Color.TRANSPARENT);

The background is still black

A: Have you tried setting the theme on the activity via the manifest file?
<activity android:name=".LoadingActivity" android:theme="@android:style/Theme.Translucent.NoTitleBar.Fullscreen" />

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaStackExchange


See something you like? View the @janalamstudio instagram feed below with links to the everything in the pictures.
janalamstudio This pile of 🌈 pillows is off to @deluxenugget for a bright and colorful living room overhaul.
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This lovely Seaflower Pencil Clutch is available at janalam.com! And don't forget the Mother's Day ❤ Sale! Two codes: MOMSBIGBAG for 25% off the Sunday Fun Day Carry-all and MOMLOVE17 for 15% off everything else. And as always all purchases over $100 get free shipping!
janalamstudio Get Mom the bag of her 🐚🌊 dreams this Mother's Day. Order today for delivery by the weekend.
Don't forget the Mother's Day ❤ Sale! Two codes: MOMSBIGBAG for 25% off the Sunday Fun Day Carry-all and MOMLOVE17 for 15% off everything else. And, as always, all purchases over $100 get free shipping!
With a Mini Envelope Clutch to match!!
Each semester an intern finds us, and creates their own place within the Jana Lam team. We are currently graced with @deluxenugget who is a natural at printing, AND a go getter, AND a precision queen, AND a style inspiration on the daily.
See something you like? We do custom orders! Any print, any color, any style! Email us to get started on your perfect Jana Lam accessory!
Check out all three color options now!
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Treat her with a tote or cater to her with a clutch. To honor moms we're offering 15% off (using the code MOMLOVE17) our entire online shop with the exception of the Sunday Funday tote which we know is a must-have for all the mommas carrying miscellaneous items . For that we're offering 25% off! Use the code MOMSBIGBAG. Both codes can be used at checkout. These offers are good from now until Mother's Day.
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janalamstudio Hoping everyone's Easter will be filled with sunshine, bright colors, and fun! We're having an Easter hat 👒 sale through the weekend. All #janalamsun trucker hats are marked down 25% on janalam.com (no code necessary), but HURRY! There is a limited quantity left in stock, and we're not making any more.
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janalamstudio Thank you, thank you to everyone that purchased a @theumbrellacollective + @janalam collab tote, hobo, or crossbody this morning (and thank you to all those that tried, too )! We are overwhelmed by the response! We'll keep you updated on any future releases!
Our mailing list subscribers cleaned us out of the larger items, BUT we still have keychains and cardholders available! Link in the bio.
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janalamstudio Did you know we added four NEW styles to this release?! Introducing the Zip Tote, Convertible Crossbody Clutch, Key FOB, and Cardholder! All available in four leather colors: black, navy, camel, and gray. 🙌🏼 ... Kudos to @theumbrellacollective for her amazing handiwork and perf bag styles!!!
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Sunny print Oversize Zipper Clutch, Yellow over Green. Bottom right shows lining. Click the link in the bio to shop now!
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