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No Pictures: A Conversation About The Pale King
David Foster Wallace's unfinished novel, The Pale King, was published on April 15th this year. What follows is a conversation/essay hybrid that took place over the last five weeks between Tucker Stone and Joe "Jog" McCulloch regarding the book, the publication of unfinished work, and David Foster Wallace.
STONE: So, Joe: talk to me about you and David Foster Wallace. You've mentioned to me once before that you didn't consider yourself "well-read", which I always wanted you to extrapolate on, and yet you were on The Pale King mere days after the book dropped, whereas I've taken months to finally make good on your offer to participate in this joint discussion. That makes me wonder if I'm getting into the ring with a longtime fan here, and also brings to mind a having-nothing-to-do-with-you-criticism I've always had of Wallace's readers, which is that I think of him as the favorite author of people who don't read very much. (Which is of course unfair, and so in keeping with Wallace's notorious willingness to self-analyze in print, I will admit that's a criticism designed to puff up the status of the individual making it, which in other words means I'm saying it in part so that others will assume that I read a lot and have therefore enough knowledge to put Wallace in his place as someone "not-that-special" despite the fact that I've spent so much time diving into his work and even imitating that work in my own feeble attempts at being a writer that it's somewhat disingenuous and probably flat out dishonest to pretend that I don't actually revere him and what he's done for American fiction, to the point where the first angry response my brain formed to Tom Spurgeon's now months old claim that he could do without the last fifty years of fiction was "What about David Foster Fucking Wallace, mister comics reporter", which is not what I would've guessed would've been my response if you had asked me to guess at my response to that statement prior to that statement being made, but that was it, "no fooling" as the phrase goes.
I am aware that "show me yours" is an unfair way to open a frank and honest discussion, so I've made certain to include a lie in the above paragraph, thus freeing you from any notion that this discussion be either A) frank or B) honest or if we're really being cheeky, let's include C) a discussion.
JOG: Oh believe me, any illusions I had about the off-the-cuff spontaneity of this little chat were dispelled around my third draft of the present answer. Which is pertinent indeed to The Pale King, a book gleefully, self-referentially over-considered enough to present an official Author's Foreword as its ninth chapter, the content of which sees David Foster Wallace -- writing in the familiar 'nonfiction' voice through which I suspect an awful lot of his present readers were introduced to him, myself included -- insisting that his spanking new novel set among a motley sample of 1980s IRS personnel is, in fact -- any pretextual legal disclaimer notwithstanding -- a very '00s-styled Lucrative Personal Memoir, with fictionesque aesthetic flourishes deployed primarily as a means of insulating the author and his publisher from potential civil liability. Wallace even sighs that he's gotten too damn old for "some kind of clever metafictional titty-pincher," which is amusing given that the "David Foster Wallace" narrating is swiftly revealed to be a construct of considerable (and inevitably discomforting) self-deprecation, a fictional burlesque henceforth referred to as "Earth-2 DFW," recalling the novel's events from inside the novel's own world. It's especially telling that the non-Author's not-a-Foreword identifies a corollary effect to this (faux-)faux-fictional concept: shifting the author's "contract" with the reader to the more liberally navigable terrain of fiction, wherein poetic and metaphoric truths might be profoundly understood away from the 'truthful' rigidity of non-fiction's burden, with which I presume Wallace was painfully intimate, given the sometimes too-perfect comedic scenarios and thematic bows tied to his journalistic exploits.
In explaining all this, Earth-2 DFW seeks to 'override' all codes, the evident futility of which allows Earth-Prime DFW to spin deeper into explication of information - imagined, received, subconscious, political, societal, interpersonal, authorial. I'm glad you mentioned Wallace's reputation as a favorite of people who don't read all that much, because I think his unique quality among writers of his generation is his accessibility to people who maybe don't have so extensive a grasp of the situation as might seem to be demanded by the strata of interests active in his writing - that's because Wallace sets himself up as a denuded navigator of an overly rich media landscape, someone learned and trustworthy but hardly a know-it-all, prone in his essays to marshaling a profoundly intuitive-seeming outlay of history and observation and logical consideration with which to challenge (I always felt) the enormity of implications and potentials coating the center of his chosen/assigned topics like an atmospheric sheath, thereby affirming the reader's own ability to identify and process reams of data without intimidation. An appealing persona, and undoubtedly it is a persona, pliable enough to adapt to a variety of forms -- among his three books of short stories, say, Wallace's survey of his obsessions shifts in focus and intensity, and even basic structure -- while retaining the same crucial appeal to readers who maybe justifiably don't feel they know even close to enough to keep up with the intellectual situation.
In this way, the theme of information processing is folded into Wallace's work so that its very mode of delivery (fiction, essays, book reviews - whatever) might coax the reader into not just recognizing but thinking critically about the data swirl around them. This is not, obviously, an effect exclusive to Wallace -- some of his early works, like The Broom of the System and Westward the Course of Empire Takes Its Way (a novella now presented as the concluding story in Girl With Curious Hair) directly grapple with predecessors and influences in fiction and theory -- but it's his uniquely personalized style, formal inquiry married to 'self-analysis' (as you put it), that I think has attracted even casual readers. I admit I was susceptible to appreciating this kind of display when I discovered him, having spent four years doing policy debate in college -- an activity premised on the study of the myriad and alternative points of view surrounding a set resolution -- and god knows how much time already on the fucking internet; this would be the early '00s, so no, I don't consider myself to be a longtime fan at all.
I did snap up The Pale King pretty early, though, and that's because I'll cop to having a special interest in seeing fragments of Wallace's writing arranged in a manner outside his control, i.e. assembled from extant work product by an editor, Michael Pietsch, who sifted through about 150 segments' worth of stuff -- some of it multiple versions of the same writings, if I understand it correctly -- to arrive at 50 chapters (designated as 'sections') of material. I figured the impact, character and 'soul' of Wallace's writing, for the reasons mentioned above and all but outlined in the aforementioned Foreword gambit, could very well thrive as lively and interesting and as a relatively whole experience even as a literally scattered array of takes on a topic, with the connecting membrane left entirely to the reader's supposition. In reality, this was maybe wishful thinking on my part; there's still enough of a traditional A-to-B plotline through the novel-as-curated that it can't help but come off as a preview of the (never-to-be-)finished work. What did you make of the book, as a book?
STONE: I had a really difficult time giving myself over to The Pale King, and while there's a lot of reasons for that, the initial one was that I just couldn't stop myself from thinking "this book is unfinished" over and over again. Chasing Wallace down the rabbit holes he goes into in Infinite Jest and his longer essays requires trust on my part, and that trust was hard won. The Pale King throws all that out the window--I know I'm going to have to do the work that his writing style requires (with its purposeful long-game repetition and those extravagantly tailored sentence-paragraphs), but I also know in advance that there's no guarantee that the material is actually going somewhere or is even finished at all. And based off the ideal novel the notes in the back of the book describe, I don't feel like The Pale King as it currently (and sadly, always will) exists is a very accurate representation of what Wallace was planning to publish. Some of the thematic stuff is intact, and the portion describing modern life as being a constant struggle to achieve supremacy over boredom hit me pretty hard, but I wish I could have read some of what those notes describe, and I wish that Wallace had been around to pare down or even outright delete that endless chapter about cutting.
I also just thought the book was incredibly sad, and I actually attribute a few of the breaks I took from reading it to that sadness. Suicide is something that upsets me a great deal, and I struggled quite a bit as the book went on, trying not to read into it for signs of the pain Wallace must have been in. By the time I got to the end, I just couldn't fight it off anymore. It wasn't a book that screamed of open raw sores, the way Heather Lewis posthumous Notice did, but I came away from this particular experience thinking I'd seen something I maybe wasn't supposed to, something that didn't belong to me and maybe wasn't cleaned up enough to justly be called "art". I don't feel like I went through the man's garbage, but I do feel like someone might have snuck a camera into his bedroom, if that makes any sense to you. Do you share any of that?
JOG: Ah ha ha, sneaking in Dale Peck, I see! This is why I'm not well-read; I hardly recognized anyone he mentioned.
STONE: Oh man, I didn't even know that was him. "Hatchet Jobs". "Designated Haters". That's a dark hole. That issue of N+1 has a Wallace review!
JOG: In that most of my above link is hidden behind a registration wall (which then becomes a paywall after 24 hours), I should mention that Peck's criticism of Infinite Jest -- one of relatively few sharply negative reviews to greet the work in the year of its release -- is twofold, and perhaps instructive to understanding the makeup of Wallace's work. First, his style of narrative is cumbersome and uselessly digressive: "junk," surrounding a suite of rudimentary plots brazed with dubious social theory. Secondly and relatedly, while this junk is admittedly engaging on a stylistic level, and even potentially enlightening to the reader, given Wallace's processing of a myriad of topics through a multifarious dialect ("more than a little infatuated with the jargon of various groups, like homosexuals or drug addicts or teenage white boys or inner-city black people or science nerds"), it ultimately betrays a type of cowardice, in that it allows Wallace to elide the specifics of topics over which he might not posses a great command -- while also, I presume, serving to obscure the paucity of his thematic content -- atop his exoticization of deviations from the predominantly white, male, heterosexual population of the text.
This all brings to mind that tangibly awkward sequence in Authority and the American Usage (collected in Consider the Lobster) where Wallace lays out a crazy-detailed rationale for insisting that "certain black students who were (a) bright and inquisitive as hell and (b) deficient in what US higher education considers written English facility" comport to what he deems Standard Written English in his classes - of course accompanied by many concessions as to the implications of such! It's a struggle of his, I think, to cope with these very concerns that Peck raises, to say nothing of the very deliberate aspect of frustration Wallace tends to build into his storytelling, the efficacy of which can certainly be argued; if Amazon reader reactions to Wallace's books are any indication, Peck's criticisms as to wearying digression are hardly exclusive to himself, less so now than maybe ever before. I know some very sharp thinkers and keen writers who've rolled their eyes out of their skulls at the tedium of grappling with the bottomless, impossible indulgence of David Foster Fucking Wallace.
And yet -- as a roundabout way of answering your question -- I didn't consider the incomplete nature of The Pale King to be quite so intrusive, because my interest was less in trusting the book would build toward completion than seeing how the arranged texts exist on the continuum of Wallace's writing, the "struggle" I see evolving throughout his life in writing. That's what I meant above as a "relatively whole experience" - I'd have preferred the 'plot' seem even less finished! Hell, they're already going for the cutesy-yet-fitting "§" style of chapter numbering... and what is the tax code if not series of discreet sections, drafted and amended in distinct times, joined by intent and cross-reference? I could've used an index.
But yeah, I was very aware that I was looking at unfinished business too (and obviously I'm not unaware of the unsavory, vouyeristic connotations of observing the final, shattered results of a "struggle" which the author has elected to irrevocably conclude). Even going back and forth between similar-seeming characters - like, I definitely felt Earth-2 DFW wasn't entirely consistent, as if in most of the book he's a blithe, asshole-ish kind of snobby knob, exactly self-conscious enough to be supremely terrible (indeed close to the very man Dale Peck describes) -- surely it's no accident that the penultimate footnote of Sec. 24 has Wallace getting his dick sucked by a woman whose background in exchanging sexual favors for her family's escape from the Iranian Revolution is plopped into the middle of the act's description -- while in the Author's Foreword he's steadfast enough to lay out what strikes me as a pretty straight-on detail of the crucial political theme of the work: that the inclination to recoil from "dull" information presents a unique opportunity for devoted navigators of such information to affect the fabric of society. Provided the 'end' wasn't just Pietsch clipping extra text off, which is always a possibility.
STONE: If we take Dale Peck as holy writ, there is a perfect something to be made regarding the publication of a Wallace book where the actual plot is only delivered in a brief series of "found" notes after the close of the actual text, which is essentially the case here.
I should clarify my earlier point, although you'll have to forgive me for going deeper into personal disclosure than I'm nominally comfortable with. I didn't come away from Pale King thinking I'd peeked at something I shouldn't have been permitted to because of the Pietsch delivery system that brought me the book. My feelings of discomfort didn't stem solely from the text itself, from my failure to overcome a personal struggle to not look for evidence of the depression described so vividly in this article by Maria Bustillos. (If you read it, I would advise you to skip the comments section at all costs.) Through no fault of its own, the article set me up to fail at the many tests reading The Pale King brought to the table. I walked into this book trying not to find moments where Wallace's depression came in, to not come away from those heavily concentrated loops of awareness thinking "that's a man evading something", and eventually, somewhere around that horrible political chapter, I gave up the ghost. It's totally unfair, bad critical reading on my part, and besides all that, it just made for a difficult reading experience. By the end of the book, I was thinking to myself all kinds of things that were just completely outside the text, like "of course, he killed himself. Having these kinds of conversations would've been a hellish existence."
I don't have a point to make with this little tangent, so I should probably leave it there and move on.
I did, after a fashion, enjoy portions of The Pale King. The religious awakening where Earth-2 DFW discovers accounting was a fascinating piece of writing, and it felt like Wallace was reaching from the grave to poke fun at the contemporary rediscovery of Ayn Rand's more hysterical ideas in the way that the book's "embrace boredom, be a hero" message was delivered by the nerd equivalent of John Galt. I also loved the exploration of oversweating, the "absolutely everyone hated the boy" punchline about the nicest kid in the world, and the story of the bandsaw savior pumped me up as much as I'm sure it was intended too. And while the chapter on the kid who wanted to kiss his whole body was thoroughly vivid, I found myself involuntarily shuddering as his machinations wore on.
I won't ask you to respond with a short list of things you liked, although I won't tell you not to. But I am curious about something else: how did you feel about it, on ye old enjoyment scale? If you were hitting this book up at the county fair, would it ring the bell?
JOG: I did not read the comments to the Bustillos piece, but, as luck would have it, I first came across it in the comments to a different post -- movie critic and occasional DFW editor Glenn Kenny's initial reactions to The Pale King -- in which a commenter (not Kenny) noted "a frustrating sense throughout of someone trying to understand depression and despair without being particularly capable of empathizing with sufferers of either." Which - yikes. Like, am I staring into the mirror, Tucker?
Kenny himself has an interesting take on the current perception of Wallace: less your suggestion of him as the choice of folks who don't read very much -- which at minimum suggests that those folks remain readers, and presumably derive something of value and understanding from their experience -- than a preeminent reference for those looking to appear cultured, despite the unthinking application of signifiers being almost precisely what Wallace's writing is 'against,' if I may sound a potentially inappropriate martial note. Not that this is necessarily a progression or anything, these ideas have run concurrently -- hell, to flip it around, I've heard some people insist that anyone who claims to have liked Infinite Jest is a bald-faced liar playing bookshelf identity games because it really is indisputably The Most Boring Thing (a phenomenon with origins, I suspect, dating to the first angry slam-shut of the first dazed ex-reader) -- but I do suspect the absence of Wallace as an active presence will poke things a bit further toward Kenny's notion among scavengers of renown.
STONE: Kenny's right that Wallace is a reference/signifier, although I'm kind of at a loss for what reading is supposed to represent anymore. Being cultured? Being an asshole? Being a nostalgist? I grew up in a household where everybody read, but I can distinctly remember the point where my reading took a turn towards personal gamesmanship and effectively separated me from my parents, who read for personal enjoyment and self-improvement, or as my mother rightly put it, I started reading stuff simply because I thought it would make me better at being an arrogant prick. When Kenny throws Wallace out there as the name that twenty something jerkoffs drop to prove they're better than Palahniuk fans, I can tell you from personal experience that he's talking about me, and even worse, that he's right.
JOG: Ha, I think even by drawing distinctions between "cultured" and "asshole" and "nostalgist" you're going a bit too deep - it's just a way of indicating "I know stuff, I've read stuff, I'm trustworthy. You can believe me. If I was a chump, I wouldn't know my DAVID FOSTER WALLACE, eh? EH?!"
STONE: I can't argue with you on that one. Damn you, Kenny!
JOG: But anyway - yeah, I enjoyed the book! I hinted at this above, but I think it might be Wallace's most specifically politicized work, in that it's rather plainly addressing the political-rhetorical current of the '00s, albeit through some canny analogizing. The quick 'n dirty reveal can be found in Sec. 19 -- the blind-item stalled elevator political conversation between, among various parties, the levitating, Vulcan-like co-semi-protagonist Shane "Mr. X" Drinion and IRS examinations center regional director DeWitt Glendenning, Jr., successor to the obscure, titular and not altogether agent-morale-oriented Pale King -- where there's this slightly-too-cute little declarative fakeout:
"Look for us to elect someone who can cast himself as a Rebel, maybe even a cowboy, but who deep down we'll know is a bureaucratic creature who'll operate inside the government mechanism instead of naively bang his head against it the way we've watched poor Jimmy do for four years."
It's impossible to know when exactly Wallace wrote those words -- the separate and totally awesome section (36) concerning the boy attempting the full-body kiss dates at least as far back as the year 2000 in the form of a live reading, which raises its own question as to whether Pietsch, in assembling the work, felt a need to include everything in the room that was published or read or otherwise publicly presented, for the sake of completism -- but the post-'80s personage suggested by "cowboy" is pretty obvious, as is the contextual connection to Wallace's Up, Simba: Seven Days on the Trail of an Anticandidate, his account of a week's pursuit of John McCain's 2000 presidential bid (collected in Consider the Lobster and subsequently republished in 2008 as a solo volume somewhat deceptively titled McCain's Promise: Aboard the Straight Talk Express with John McCain and a Whole Bunch of Actual Reporters, Thinking About Hope), and the accordant 'outsider' maverick glamor cast thereupon.
(Related to my enjoyment, btw, is the utterly goddamn delightful formal play surrounding this early appearance by Drinion, who is referred to as simply "X," using his nickname to play at the idea that Earth-2 DFW, the book's ostensible 'author,' has opted to delete some particularly sensitive identity, or even, on the gross and awkward meta-level, that Pietsch has retained some preparatory blank in the pertinent manuscript -- which he actually does in exactly the same manner in the back-of-book notes -- while it subtly, almost subconsciously introduces Drinion via a screaming (hysterical?) literalization of his overriding character trait: his anonymous quality, rendering him virtually an avatar for the "dullness" of information, and thereby a most focused of navigators. On the other hand, maybe out of anyone in the 'main' cast, Drinion feels like he's supposed to undergo a character arc DFW didn't get around to finishing, and indeed seems slightly out of character enough in Sec. 19 that there's a bit of doubt that's it's even really, intentionally him. I also freely admit the very idea of following Drinion's faux-anonymous intro with the marathon Sec. 46 discussion with Meredith Rand -- and holy smokes is that Bustillos link pertinent here -- could be Pietsch's own idea. This feels like it should have been a footnote, huh?)
And throughout The Pale King, there's all these references to government functions trending toward corporate, profit-maximized operation, with citizens coming to interact with Government mainly as consumers, seeking a chain of individual best deals to the detriment of civic engagement - "We think of ourselves as citizens when it comes to our rights and privileges, but not our responsibilities." I too loved 'the John Galt speech' -- by which we affectionately refer to Sec. 22's marathon narrative of fellow co-semi-protagonist "Irrelevant" Chris Fogle, which is both almost exactly the same length as the notorious climax to/point of Atlas Shrugged if the intermittent in-chapter word count(!) is to be believed, while also serving as a comical reversal, in that it's a guy searching for individual purpose in his life through the subjective effect of his relationship with the communities (familial, scholastic) he inhabits, ultimately witnessing a (terrific) in-speech speech(!!) that sets him on the path of Heroism: Effacement! Sacrifice! Service! - "today's cowboys" (heh) "[r]iding herd on the unending torrent of financial data"; it is, of course, a speech that almost nobody hears, promptly denounced by Earth-2 DFW two sections later, 'inadvertently' forming one of the few instances in The Pale King where Part X clearly and intentionally preceding Part Y by Earth Prime DFW-the-real-author's intent, WHILE ON TOP OF THAT serving as the beginning of the novel's proper plot with disparate characters beginning to meet, thus making his Galt speech the conclusion to an overture rather than an ultimate philosophical takeaway, which is a criticism in and of itself -- yet I think it's less a closed goof than a saturating element, in firm and sustained opposition to the cod-Randian Free!Market! individualism so much in play today... with much distaste directed at the collection of taxes, naturally! It can't be an accident that the aforementioned Sec. 19 prominently sports references to the Founding Fathers' interest in men "with at least as much concern for the common good as for personal advantage," (common good? socialism!) or that Sec. 9 has the book's fake author citing the sputtered economy of the '00s as part of his rationale for hopping aboard the Lucrative Personal Memoir train.
This, by the way, is an example of Wallace's reading of the data swirl 'predicting' a result, as his 2008 death necessarily placed the composition of The Pale King before the really heavy, immediate, public aspects of what I'm describing - and what better illustration of the pernicious possibilities hiding in "dull" information than the factors behind the economic downturn of the late '00s, necessitating many detailed and sometimes Ira Glass-sponsored public explanations? It's a bit like Wallace, with the title story of Girl With Curious Hair, 'predicting' American Psycho (a book he'd utterly loathe) a couple years before its publication by presenting an amoral patrician scumfuck as a straight-up violent madman accompanied by an 'iconoclastic' band of punk kids whose nihilism only better facilitates his activities, and so suggesting that the iconoclasm of Bret Easton Ellis' generation of Brat Pack writers -- although it's worth noting that Wallace had found Less Than Zero to be "very, very powerful," as he mentioned to David Lipsky in a conversation later transcribed into Although of Course You End Up Becoming Yourself: A Road Trip with David Foster Wallace in 2010, not that an admission of power necessarily denotes philosophical agreement -- is merely an accompaniment to the shit of the present, rather than a viable or interesting or worthwhile or substantive artistic pursuit.
That brings us right back to Dale Peck's criticisms, I think, in that, frankly, Girl With Curious Hair isn't all that terrific a story, being a series of critical ideas with characters almost distractedly built around them, despite those ideas lacking in particularity; certainly the punk-as-hapless-backing-to-status-quo-abuse notion was done with considerably superior panache, verisimilitude, and contemporaneous political acuity by, say, Derek Jarman's 1977 movie Jubilee. But it all still has some real impact, from Wallace's willingness to build on ideas floating in the current of thought, admittedly something that rewards frequent Wallace readers for their willingness to follow the info-navigator. I mean, parts of The Pale King follow up almost directly on Wallace's prior book of fiction, the 2004 story collection Oblivion, particularly The Soul Is Not a Smithy, another not-the-best piece climaxing in dream images of long desks and stacked files and death-like adult toil, proffered as a rather pat revelation of a child's subconcious terror of American adulthood in the midst of a violent schoolroom incident set during the patriotic rush of 1960: it certainly does end with a class play in which boys helmets and aluminum bayonets and (eek!) in-one-case-a-real-gun charge a flimsy facade of Iwo Jima!
The Pale King refines these notions, pours over their nuance - improves them entirely. It also applies some of the finest flavor from another Oblivion story, and my personal favorite David Foster Wallace thing ever: the mighty Mister Squishy, a maximal détournement of the corporate conspiracy thriller, assiduously avoiding anything even potentially resembling white-knuckle thrills -- though such thrills are duly noted as present! -- to instead follow the tornadic psychological games played by '90s advertising research on the brink of the internet appropriating us all as walking spigots of buzz and hype, happily complicit in selling delicious nonsense to ourselves. It's like a very short Michael Crichton book composed entirely of things Michael Crichton would have deleted from a longer novel, and the beauty of it is that the suspense-play of characters out-thinking and being out-thought can 'work' as predominant in either version. I am 100% convinced -- evidence be damned! -- that the unnamed narrator of the piece is, in fact, the David Wallace from The Pale King, venturing acidly and informedly into a new decade of society-shifting study, even though Sec. 7 makes certain to reference a different "Mr. Squishee," signaling that Wallace knows he had the chance to rope both of the stories together in the same world and didn't take it, though the structural similarities between works were doubtlessly clear to him.
(Naturally, this was also the very broad intent of Infinite Jest, "structured as an entertainment that doesn't work." Per Wallace to Lipsky, again.)
Uh, there's some good characters too? Some weak ones as well, but... it's funny, I kind of hated the initial nicest kid in the world chapter you described (Sec. 5), thinking it obvious and precious. But god - I really liked the Leonard Stecyk character the more he appeared, and I was totally onboard for his band saw hero turn (Sec. 39). This may be reaching, I admit, but I see him as the presence of Christ in the narrative; setting aside the obvious carpentry aspect surrounding his coming-of-age, there's this really moving, slow-building notion of Stecyk as a ridiculous, impossible ideal worthy of little more than disinterest or near-irrational sneers, right up until he deeply and profoundly affects and comforts someone and lifts up their entire life. I wonder if Pietsch nurtured this aspect of the character - Wallace's notes suggest some faint plan at one point of taking the character down a peg, but he doesn't do that in the completed work.
Stecyk can even been taken as part of a religious aspect running through the book -- a rather distinctly Catholic aspect, appropriate to the focus on service and Works, although co-semi-protagonist Lane A. Dean Jr. is more of an undefined denominational Christian and the notion of Chris Fogle carrying a secret numerical code that unlocks Ultimate Concentration is more of a Jewish Bible Code thing, possibly dating from the popularization of such in the late '90s -- from the Jesuit speaker that inspires Chris Fogle to the stigmatic digressions in AWESOME AWESOME body kiss chapter (which is less an aborted/stillborn plotline in The Pale King than a helpful, if potentially accidental synecdoche) to the maybe supernatural, diabolical The Omen-like presence of the Manshardt child, apparently the secret power behind the book's primary antagonist, accidental occultist and Company idea man Merrill Errol Lehrl, who wants to prompt all of the co-semi-protagonists into basically forming the Defenders via a giant IRS-off against his sinister ANADA audit-flagging algorithm so that their shellacking -- and it's heavily implied by the text that they do eventually lose -- can prove the superiority of dehumanized, amoral information processing and all accordant profit increases over manual, judgment-call-based smelly farting humanoid rote examination: a battle for the very soul of America, Tucker.
So: does any of this resonate with you?
STONE: I haven't held a copy of Atlas Shrugged in my hands for years on purpose, but I would bet the similarities between Galt's speech and our-man-in-supercilious-smirks don't stop at word count. Wallace wasn't a mixtape writer of pastiche and homage, but he liked a good in-joke, and when you couple that speech with the way the elevator conversation predicts both the real world governmental direction of today AND the entirety of Apple's last 26 years of advertising and brand maintenance, starting with this bad boy right here, I think those sections are heaven's manna for what I'm guessing might be Wallace's preferred reader, which is somebody who can laugh twice, at the same time.
(Can I just stop and say how much I love Wallace's description of American Psycho and its ilk? You've led me down a few holes via your links throughout this experience, but that one in particular has to be my most favorite. Brilliant, I thank you.)
I'm curious about the Pale King's boredom wars as a Catholic reference system--there's no better American faith than Catholicism when it comes to arcane dogma and a steady schedule of disciplined actions--but I also wonder if that ease of comparison might undermine Wallace's interest here, which really does seem to be boredom, and how it defines so much of modern humanity. Having a heaven at the end of the rainbow would kinda tarnish his character's struggle, that idea of no-acclaim heroism where a hot death--no spectators at the funeral--is the only prize.
JOG: Oh, I don't think the religious references at play function in a way to implicate an afterlife. If you look at Good Old Neon -- one of the 'big' Wallace stories right now, for obvious blunt-impact reasons -- it implicates organized religion as potentially a means for its boundlessly aware suicidal protagonist to enjoy an experience beyond the database of societal signals he's mastered the manipulation of. Ironically, because of said protagonist's unshakable certainty in his utterly boundless awareness, he eventually comes to believe that what he felt as genuine spiritual ecstasy was merely another manipulation on his part positioned just slightly outside his self-awareness, easily diagnosable on reflection; this is contrasted with the true in-story State of the Afterlife, which is pretty much exactly an Alan Moore comic with dead people existing apart from their locked perception in the frozen comic-book panels of sequential time, though Wallace eventually pulls the 'camera' back far enough, The Holy Mountain style, so that you can see that even this revelation is merely an authorial fancy.
(Incidentally, like several motifs in Oblivion, the notion of sequential comic-book-ish time recurs, specifically in The Soul Is Not a Smithy with its distracted narrator building an impossible, spiraling image narrative out of the gaps in a mesh window, which makes me wonder if Wallace, well-read soul that he was, hadn't glanced at Chris Ware at some point.)
In this way, 'religion' is a readable aspect of Wallace's data swirl, specifically designated as such in This Is Water (aka the Kenyon College commencement address, which in its exhortation that "[t]he really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day," links up with the service-based data-crunching mission statement cried at the heart of The Pale King), though Wallace seems to have also been semi-practicing Catholic enough to receive the Eucharist in A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again, and, at least as late as 2001, apparently frequented some Christian church -- "It's not one of those churches where people throw Jesus' name around a lot or talk about the End Times, but it's fairly serious, and people in the congregation get to know each other well and to be pretty tight." (- The View from Mrs. Thompson's, collected in Consider the Lobster) -- though the exact proportions of his belief remained private.
Or, to use another instant example: certainly Lane Dean in Sec. 6 enjoys a glimpse into his pregnant potential future wife's intent per: their relationship as a sort of divine intercession, as he believes it to be, but read in the David Foster Wallace context it's plainly another instance of a character struggling to predict someone else's reactions -- both their next move and the feint behind that move -- just like the narrator of Good Old Neon. The difference is that Dean finally embraces the idea of uncertainty, that the emotions he understands to be real inside him are perhaps but an alternative to an unknowable, uncategorizable Love. A ways up the page I called the ALL-BODY KISS section (36! 36!) a "synecdoche," and that's because the boy and his father refer to the larger idea of, respectively, mastering or becoming mastered by information; the father is barely able to see himself in the mirror from all the self-help slogans he's pasted onto it -- another pat, maybe cheesy, banal, "hysterical realism" image I've chosen to enjoy -- gradually spreading out his dissatisfaction over increasing multitudes of lovers/options, like Two-Face in Arkham Asylum, while the boy vows to challenge the evident impossibility of his command of everything on his person, within his reach, and does not doubt. From this, Wallace acknowledges the limits of human processing, but insists on its virtue (per the book's co-semi-protagonists) over the delegation of inquisition to automata and thoughtless reliance on such - civic obligation vs. consumptive 'individualism.'
In other words, Wallace's interest is indeed in "boredom," but as a neutral value, capable of both facilitating some betterment of the lot of society or forcing a realization of "some other, deeper type of pain that is always there" (Earth-2 DFW, Sec. 9) or the terror of time's sequence and death's inevitability and opacity (Sec. 19) - there is no known heaven, only the flicker of candles, you know?
Speaking of politics and living, here's yet another powerful revelation the kissy boy bestowed upon me: his specialist was somehow the most vividly-drawn female character in the book, despite barely appearing at all. In contrast: Toni Ware! Kind of a refugee from a grindhouse shocker, what with her talents for mayhem and brutal survival instincts. I'm interested in what you made of this fairly prominent character - she struck me as an attempt on Wallace's part to explore unique threats facing women, something of an off-and-on concern in the book (as I've mentioned), and probably its overall least successful aspect. (Query, then, ALL OF YOU, whether Wallace's thematic fascinations in fact encourage a decorative solipsism, and thus a difficulty in negotiating character terrain outside of his white, male, heterosexual, economically well-off-enough-for-the-most-part experience that, by its interority, dilutes or forecloses on an empathetic or visceral or inquisitive or understanding-minded aesthetic of value to literature. DO IT.)
STONE: Toni didn't really register with me as a complete character the first time through, and when I go back into the text to manage an explanation why that is, I end up thinking the reason might be that Toni was more in need of editing than some of the other recurring characters. The girl who shoplifts, plus the woman with the eyelock, who then becomes the bodily discharge terrorist...it just doesn't flow for me the way Steyck and Wallace do, and I wonder what might have been done with (and to) the character if her creator had been able to.
JOG: Sure. I mean, I wonder how much anything I've liked about The Pale King would have changed with more work; maybe the whole thing would have transformed into the Naoki Urasawa serial it's oh so primed to be. Certainly it doesn't quite cohere in the way I've found something like Mister Squishy does, where by design there's no resolution whatsoever, yet I understood that the psychic terrain of the situation had been mapped in enough detail that the story seemed to live, to breathe in to one man's head before exhaling over how believably absurd the implications of situation and its space-time position could be. With The Pale King, we barely seem to have started, even as its modular, assembled nature accommodates reflections on Wallace's evolving interests.
How about this: what do you really value about David Foster Wallace's work? Like, what's your favorite stuff of his? What was the inkling of hope of what you wanted to find that drove you to The Pale King?
STONE: Wallace represents the contemporary voice in fiction to me, for good or ill. I think there's better structural writers--to give you an example, people like Westlake, Roth, Oe come to mind--but that messy capture of the way our non-stop information deluge actually might sound coupled with the predominant self-worship and individualism that stems from a bred-in-Westernized-safety is best represented, as far as I've read, in Wallace. His closest peers, for my money, are Vollman, Delillo and Eggers--but Vollman cares too much about other people, Delillo cares too much about structural games, and Eggers doesn't seem to like writing that much. I don't know if Wallace will last for me personally--I've only felt the desire and need to re-read his non-fiction stuff, of which the titlular A Supposedly Fun Thing I'd Never Do Again is my ultimate favorite--but I haven't felt like there was somebody as capital letters Contemporary as Wallace before.
I don't think I can do this justice, this argument, by the way. I think Cormac McCarthy is a better writer than Wallace, and I think what McCarthy is doing wouldn't have been possible in an earlier time period, and yet I can't bring myself to label Blood Meridian as contemporary fiction, even though it technically is. And yet: I don't think there's a book as good, or important as Blood Meridian in the last fifty years. That's only my first contradictory hole-poker, and I could probably wrangle one out for Roth's 90's work, Marilynne Robinson's Gilead, Robert Stone and Toni Morrison, for starters.
I think Wallace will matter, though. After we get past the part where Infinite Jest is praised just because it's unwieldy and criticized because it's cyclical, I believe there will be some acknowledgement for that novel and his work. He gave permission to people in a way that schools never had and never will, and it doesn't matter how much bad writing that might have produced, because it's still writing, and if I drop my full-of-shit stance long enough even I can freely admit that more people writing, in this day and age, is a good and unusual thing. This book--his personality as well--are the most accurate approximation for today's writer that I think you'll find. He's no more obnoxious than I'm sure Rimbaud and Keroauc must have been.
JOG: Ah-ha! I wonder if the very interior, individualist nature of Wallace's storytelling is what encourages Wallace devotees to appear in the absence of wider literary engagement? That to plug in to Wallace's point of view -- so full of explanations, so double-thought and reflective, even in the form of assorted fictional personae -- is to feel that he can be understood, on a personal level, apart from the current of literature, more so than readers typically enjoy some sense of connection with an author? I can't help but feel we've been like characters in a play, fulfilling our assigned roles: you processing The Pale King as Wallace-as-literature, as an author among others, as a man who killed himself; and me processing it as Wallace qua Wallace, a terminus of evolving ideas in a system that might as well be closed under flesh.
Even as you mentioned liking A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again, I remembered how its image of blinding white artifice -- challenging the decompositions hastened by saltwater -- recurred in a very non-comedic, fictional context at the climax of The Suffering Channel, with a limousine arriving to pick some characters up, "white the way cruise ships... are white" - a ride to hell, guaranteed! Or when you mentioned enjoying the parts about sweating in The Pale King, I was thinking about how that pings off references to his own faculty for perspiration in his essays, rolling that character into a demonstrable conjuring of anxieties, transparent in a way other authors' usage of their personal qualities in characters might sink into fiction - yet The Pale King is unfinished, so maybe Wallace can't help but be more of a character, no alternate worlds necessary.
Yet I need to stress that it's not just some calling-it-as-Wallace-sees-it parade of observations that fascinates me; that way lies the dread mimesis of American Psycho and its kin. Or displays of skill as extension of a narcissistic desire on the author's part to be liked and admired, detailed at that link you mentioned enjoying:
"Now, to an extent there's no way to escape this altogether, because an author needs to demonstrate some sort of skill or merit so that the reader will trust her. There's some weird, delicate, I-trust-you-not-to fuck-up-on-me relationship between the reader and writer, and both have to sustain it. But there's an unignorable line between demonstrating skill and charm to gain trust for the story vs. simple showing off. It can become an exercise in trying to get the reader to like and admire you instead of an exercise in creative art. I think TV promulgates the idea that good art is just art which makes people like and depend on the vehicle that brings them the art. This seems like a poisonous lesson for a would-be artist to grow up with. And one consequence is that if the artist is excessively dependent on simply being 'liked,' so that her true end isn't in the work but in a certain audience's good opinion, she is going to develop a terrific hostility to that audience, simply because she has given all her power away to them."
It's an ironic effect, because elsewhere in that same interview Wallace posits that a big portion of "serious" fiction's purpose is to give the reader "imaginative access to other selves," to identify with the suffering of others; the grand Other accessed, then, might have been him. Still, Wallace had no time for the idea that the only duty of an artist is to create art:
"Fiction's about what it is to be a fucking human being. If you operate, which most of us do, from the premise that there are things about the contemporary U.S. that make it distinctively hard to be a real human being, then maybe half of fiction's job is to dramatize what it is that makes it tough. The other half is to dramatize the fact that we still "are" human beings, now. Or can be."
And so, The Pale King is sectioned, as it had to be, into what's really mostly a series of conversations and interactions and funny anecdotes and stories told in groups, sandwiched between a Sec. 1 of pure obscure landscape and a Sec. 50 of final man-made hypnosis, all observations fading into a void filled with just you and your facilitating narrator. More so than ever, Wallace seemed to be chasing something very specific about Right Now, and offering perspectives on a philosophical solution, which might have intensified and become immediate through a building plot and growing characters. It got away from him, and so it only crackles across nodes placed out of order from dispassionate Earth Itself to the serene lonely connection of being told a story. I guess it makes sense that it'd have to pretense to cover everything like that while so emphatically hitting its mortal limit.
-Joe McCulloch & Tucker Stone, 2011
Tucker Stone in Books | Permalink
Tags: David Foster Wallace, literature, The Pale King
#ohwowyouguys
Posted by: Matt Seneca | 2011.07.29 at 00:58
This makes me feel like I REALLY need to read The Pale King. I probably would have snapped it up by now, but I'm so backed up on comics, I haven't ready any prose books in quite a long time. But damn, I'll have to get to this, and try not to cry too hard when I do read it.
Great analysis of Wallace and his stuff, by the way. I don't do much literary criticism, and reading this reminds me of why, since you guys have some great insights and tease a lot of depth out of the style, which is a lot harder than me saying that I like the way lines are drawn, which is my usual critical approach. I will say that I get the argument that Wallace can be boring, since he goes into such incredible detail with his neverending sentences that examine every aspect of every feeling that he or his characters have when describing something, but I find it exhilarating, a balletic performance that he managed to do over and over again, making it look easy while actually being impossible to duplicate.
Um, yeah, I think I'm going to have to go pull out my copy of Infinite Jest or Brief Interviews With Hideous Men and wallow in that stuff for a while now. In the meantime, here's a funny Wallace-related Onion article: http://www.theonion.com/articles/girlfriend-stops-reading-david-foster-wallace-brea,76/
Posted by: Matthew J. Brady | 2011.07.29 at 17:32
Reading this made me realize how much my fallback list of "favorite authors" is based as much on a generational pose as it is on the pleasure I get from the actual books. I tend to list Wallace in my Top 10, but do I really like his novels? I do not. I like a few short stories and a LOT of his essays.
His writing about writing makes me think of him as a better fiction writer than he actually is, but he was just never able to balance his precision with his ambition. I picture him wearing a tuxedo made of fireworks, walking carefully along a line he has drawn on a sidewalk, without looking up to see where he is.
But I rarely read novels anymore anyway, so I am probably getting dumber by the minute when it comes to long-form prose narrative.
Posted by: TimCallahan | 2011.07.29 at 18:21
Never cared much for Wallace - a friend of mine aggressively gifted me "The Girl With Curious Hair" back in college and I thought it was some of the most amateurish shit I'd read in ages, and in subsequent encounters with Wallace I've always felt like he's trying too hard to seem clever - but this was a good talk, at least. It didn't make me want to read The Pale King, but it left me feeling like I'd be better able to articulate my aversion to reading The Pale King in the future.
Posted by: moose n squirrel | 2011.07.29 at 21:35
I haven't read the Pale King-- but I went to a ... I went to a reading of it put on by television sitcom actors and also Henry Rollins (insert joke about Los Angeles here). Not every section was read, but the "nicest boy in the world" story (read by the dad from How I Met Your Mother, if I recall correctly) and the conversation between the Aspergers-y tax man and the hot tax lady waiting for her husband, those two both made for an especially fine evening.
I just don't know if I can do the book though-- a debate's been had, and is ongoing, for all the reasons referenced hereinabove. It just feels like an "invasion" to see his unfinished work, but I'm not... not convinced that's entirely sensible. The "this was unfinished" thing, too-- I don't know that I could get rid of that. (Even though I've wound up reading some terrible genre novels at the moment-- oh, the hype on Ross McDonald was all wrong! All wrong!)
(Relevant to nothing: my favorite stretch of Wallace isn't based on merit, but I read the stretch of Broom of the System where the main character goes back to his alma mater and wanders the campus, shortly after graduating college myself, so I've always had an affection for that...)
Posted by: Abhay | 2011.07.30 at 19:09


text:
Work Search: tip: arthur merlin words>1000 sort:hits
Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Battlestar Galactica - All Media Types
William Adama/Laura Roslin
Additional Tags:
Adama Salami
No One Touches the Adama Salami
Sdhuskerfan
Laura is sick of the algae food!
This is part of a collection that I hope many of you add to!
Chapter Text
"Gods, Bill, I just don't understand why people can't stop complaining all the time! I know the ships are overcrowded, I know everyone is sick of algae-food, I know everyone is tired of rationing! But the constant bitching doesn't do anyone any good and, frankly, it just pisses me off!" Laura exclaims, gripping her stomach as it lets out a loud growl.
Bill's lips are pressed together tightly trying to prevent a smile from forming on his lips as he watches Laura lose her cool in front of him for the second time in as many days.
"Dammit, I'm doing it again, aren't I? I'm bitching to you about people bitching all the time and you're sitting there laughing at me," she says rubbing her stomach as it growls loudly again.
"Are you always this cranky when you're hungry?" he asks in his best serious tone leaning back in his chair as he watches Laura pace back and forth ranting in front of his desk.
"Yes, I am. I'm sick of algae-food, too! I can barely choke it down anymore – it just isn't satisfying in any way, so I don't eat as much as I should."
"You need to eat, Laura, to keep your strength up. A cranky starving president isn't what this fleet needs right now," he chides her.
"Oh, really, Admiral Obvious?!" she snaps.
Bill gives her a shocked look, surprised she would resort to name-calling, at least to his face. He's certain she had a few choice names for him after they first met, but that was a long time ago, and she never said them in front of him. He had a few monikers for her, too, but only Saul was privy to those, except for the ones that were sexual in nature which he kept to himself.
Laura softens her tone at his stunned expression. "I'm sorry, Bill, I shouldn't have said that. You're right, I need to eat more. I'm acting like a lunatic right now."
"Laura," he says standing up from his desk, "join me for a drink." He motions to his leather sofa and walks to his drink cart, pouring two glasses of whiskey for them.
"Whiskey on an empty stomach, Bill? I've already made a fool of myself," she says in a tone disgusted with herself, hesitating as he hands her a glass before she sits down on his sofa.
"Do you trust me, Laura?" he asks taking a sip of his drink.
"Of course, I do," she replies, immediately concerned with his question. "What's going on?"
He places his drink on the coffee table in front of them. "Close your eyes. Don't open them until I say so."
"Bill," she says in a suspicious tone, "what are you up to?"
"You'll see. Close your eyes and keep them closed."
A smile tugs at the corners of her mouth as she stares at him, studying him for a hint about what's going on. His trademark stone face stares right back at her not revealing any clues. "Alright," she sighs, cocking one eyebrow at him and placing her drink on the coffee table next to his. "I'm closing them."
"Keep them closed," he says before rising from the sofa.
She hears him shuffling around his quarters, a few drawers open and close, some tapping, and more walking around. She's certain he's making most of those noises to cover up what he's actually doing. After a few minutes, the sofa sinks down close to her, and she hears him set something on the coffee table. "Can I open my eyes now?"
"What are you doing, Bill?" she asks again, very curious about his unusual behavior.
"You'll see. Open your mouth."
"I said open your mouth. You trust me, right?"
"Um, yeh, but this is kind of weird."
"It won't be once you figure out what's going on," he says taking her hand in his and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "It's something good, really good. Open up."
Laura takes a deep breath, then musters up her bravery and opens her mouth. Bill places a small piece of food on her tongue.
"Oh!" she exclaims before she begins to chew the morsel. "Ohhhhhh," she says again as her saliva glands go into overdrive at the taste of the spicy food. "Oh, my Gods!" she continues to chew. "Where did you get this? It's fantastic!"
"I've had it hidden away for a while now. I try not to eat too much at once, just a little bit at a time to keep me going."
"Can I open my eyes?"
"Sure," he replies.
A plate rests on the coffee table with several little chunks of salami but when she reaches for another, Bill lightly slaps her hand away. "Can't I have more?" she asks, her eyes pleading for another piece.
"I'm the only one who touches the Adama salami," he replies with a playful twinkle in his eyes. He picks up another piece and holds it to her mouth. She happily takes it from him and savors it, rolling her eyes in the back of her head at the tasty mix of flavors. "How long have you called me Admiral Obvious?" he asks.
"Hmmm, it was sometime after Baltar became President," she replies before taking a sip of whiskey.
"Do you have other nicknames for me?" he asks taking a sip of his own whiskey, carefully studying the expression on her face.
"Maybe a few," she replies, hoping he doesn't ask her about them. There are some she just as soon not share with him because he might get the wrong impression. When he doesn't offer her another piece of salami, she figures out his game. "Oh, so if I don't give you the answer you're looking for, I don't get any more Adama salami?"
Bill glances at the plate of food then back at her with a smirk on his face.
"Okay, when we first met, I may have referred to you as Commander Cranky-Pants once or twice," she concedes.
"That's good," he says nodding his head. "I was kind of cranky when you were being Secretary Bossy-Butt about networking my ship." He holds another piece of salami to her lips and after a five second scowl, she relents and takes it from him.
"I'm not that bossy. I'm the President," she coolly explains.
"Sure," Bill replies. "That must be it. Any other names?" he asks leaning back on the sofa away from the plate of salami.
"Admiral Asshole," she says quickly, wanting to get that next bit of salami from him and possibly knock him down a notch from his pedestal.
"That has to be fairly recent since I haven't been an admiral for very long. When was I an asshole to you?" he asks curiously.
When he makes no attempt to give her another piece of salami, she replies, "New Caprica."
"What about New Caprica?"
"You know, when you didn't bother to kiss me even though I dropped every hint I could think of," she replies glancing at him over the rim of her whiskey glass.
"I thought you were just being Ex-President Tease," he says before offering her another piece of meat.
"Ah! I don't think so! I don't tease!" she exclaims before taking the meat from him.
"The tight skirts? The way you slip off your shoes and pull your legs up on my sofa, like you are right now? The way you curled up next to me and kept your hand on my chest that night? If you want me to kiss you just say so."
"I prefer kisses to be spontaneous, like that time you kissed me on Colonial One. Maybe I don't want to order someone to kiss me – call me old-fashioned, Bill," she says sneaking a quick glance at his lips.
"You're a romantic," he replies. "But we aren't exactly living in a time of romance, are we?"
"No, I guess we aren't," she says with a trite expression. "The constant threat of annihilation does put a damper on things. I suppose romance is a luxury we don't have anymore," she sighs.
Bill senses the change in her mood from levity to melancholy. "Yet you and I wouldn't know each other if it wasn't for the cylons."
"Probably not," she agrees, still wistful at the thought that romance has no place in their current reality.
"Laura," he says attempting to lift her spirits. "I couldn't do any of this without you. You know that, right? You went from being the bossy politician that came aboard this ship that I couldn't wait to get rid of, to someone I trust, respect, and lean on, not just as a leader but as a close friend."
"I feel the same way," she says raising her glass. "A toast – to Commander Cranky-Pants and Secretary Bossy-Butt – may they continue to work toward common goals and find solace within one another."
"I'll drink to that," he says lightly clanking his glass to hers.
They sit in silence for several minutes sipping on their whiskey, glancing at each other, trying to read one another's thoughts.
"What other names?" Bill asks, breaking the silence between them.
"It's kind of inappropriate," she replies with a blush. "Mr. Mustache-Ride," she says wincing as the words come out of her mouth.
His face relaxes as he considers the implication of that particular moniker, and that Laura has her own nicknames for him that are sexual in nature. That night on New Caprica may have unfolded differently had he known the depth of her interest in him. He gives her an amused look before he chuckles, then clears his throat.
"Can't call you that anymore unless you decide to grow it back. Then I might be tempted," she admits.
He carefully places a piece of salami on her tongue and watches her chew, never dropping her gaze.
"Any others?"
"Commander-Can't-Get-Laid," she says trying not to laugh. "That's not very nice."
"Most of the others weren't nice either!" he reminds her. "And I'll have you know I was on shore leave just a few weeks prior to the attacks, and I got laid plenty."
"Mmmh, hmmm, sure you did," she says not believing a word of what he said, her mood becoming light-hearted again.
"I did. Ask Saul if you don't believe me."
"I'll do that," she says accepting another piece of salami.
"I don't really care what Secretary-Needs-To-Get-Laid thinks, anyway," he retorts.
"For your information, I was in a sexual relationship with someone prior to attending the decommissioning ceremony, and we had done the deed less than 24 hours before I arrived here," she replies with a satisfied smirk.
"Sexual relationship? What about romance?"
"No," she says glancing at the plate. "There were no romantic feelings at all."
"Is he in the fleet?"
"He died in the initial attack on the colonies."
"How do you know that?"
"Bill, I just know. Don't ask," she says patting his arm in a way to let him know the subject is off-limits between them.
"Alright, I won't ask. Any other names?"
"None that I can remember. What about your names for me? I'm sure you have others," she says expecting to hear another derogatory nickname from when they first met.
"Nothing too original. Leggy Laura is one I like," he says glancing at her bare legs on his sofa.
"Is that why you always stay and watch me climb up and down the ladders to the hangar bay?" she asks surprised at the sexist name.
"Guilty," he laughs. "So guilty of that. How long have you known?"
"Since the first time I came on board. You weren't exactly subtle about it."
"It had been a long time since I'd seen legs like that on my ship."
"Bill, you still do it."
"Because I still like your legs, and other attributes."
She considers pushing him to list these other attributes he likes, but another growl from her stomach makes her change her mind. "Do I get any more salami?" she asks glancing at the plate, then back at him.
He holds a piece out to her, and she nibbles it from his fingers. "What other attributes?"
"You're putting me on the spot. I think you are an incredibly attractive woman."
"What do you find attractive about me, besides my legs?" she asks standing and turning around slowly in front of him. "Is it my ass?" she asks glancing over her shoulder at him. "My eyes?" she asks removing her glasses, batting her eyes in a flirtatious way.
"Yes? Both of them? What else?" she asks seating herself next to him again, this time invading his personal space as much as possible without sitting on his lap.
He holds another piece of salami toward her lips. "Just a few more pieces."
"Bill, why are you avoiding the question?" she asks with a grin, amused that she can make the Admiral of the Fleet uncomfortable. "Why won't you answer me?" she continues to push, giggling at the thought of what body part he may admit he likes.
"Because my attraction to you is more than just physical."
"Oh," she replies, secretly pleased with his response. "I see," she says taking the final sip of her whiskey.
"Last piece," he informs her looking at the plate.
"You haven't had any. May I?" she asks resting her hand beside the plate.
When he nods his head, she picks up the last tiny morsel and holds it to his lips, their faces just inches apart. Her mind tells her to pull away, increase the distance between them, but her eyes lock with his keeping her in place. They stare at each other not saying a word as Bill chews and swallows the final piece and when Laura's eyes drop to his mouth, his hand brushes a wisp of her hair behind her ear. Her eyes close at his tender touch and she can't stop herself from leaning forward to him, ready to capture his lips with hers.
Her mind suddenly takes over and she pauses before she reaches his lips, opening her eyes to him. "Bill," she whispers. "If I don't leave right now, I may do something that isn't in the best interest of the fleet."
He lets the back of his fingers slide down her cheek before he removes his hand from her face. "I know," he replies, looking longingly into her eyes.
"If I wasn't the President right now…" she replies, moving even closer, but turning her head at the last possible second.
"But you are the President," he states, her head nodding as she looks away.
"I better go," she says scooting forward on the sofa. "Thank you for sharing your food. I won't tell anyone you have it, I'm good at keeping secrets," she assures him with a pretty smile. She stares into his eyes again hoping he makes his move, knowing she won't deny him anything he seeks from her, but he remains still. "Okay, I'm going."
Halfway to the hatch, Bill quietly calls her name. "Laura?" He stands from the sofa, quickly closing the distance between them.
When he reaches her, he looks befuddled, trying to figure out the right words to say. "If you need a break from the algae again, or anything else, I'm here for you. I'm good at keeping secrets, too."
Bolt_DMC, ItsJustMe_JR, Kate04, Lady0fTheHunt, mismatched_keys, picru, AnotherFrakkingSkinjob, CarterMackenzie, myragumm, Helana32, and jacilene as well as 15 guests left kudos on this work!
jacilene Sun 27 Jun 2021 10:01AM EDT
amei vai ter capitulo 2
Helana32 Sun 27 Jun 2021 03:06PM EDT
I've never written anything so I don't know how I'd do, but this sounds fun! Salami can mean different things *insert eggplant emoji*
Sdhuskerfan Sun 27 Jun 2021 04:29PM EDT
Indeed it can! Go for it!
CarterMackenzie Mon 28 Jun 2021 12:08AM EDT
Aww… this is so sweet. I love it. They're adorable together.
Sdhuskerfan Mon 28 Jun 2021 02:02PM EDT
Thank you! I always enjoyed their private conversations on the show!
AnotherFrakkingSkinjob Mon 28 Jun 2021 02:08AM EDT
Ha! Mustache ride, someone is kinky! All I need on a Sunday night is to imagine Laura sitting on Bill's face
She went out on a limb with that one - maybe the whiskey on an empty stomach had a little bit to do with it.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


The PS3 and Xbox 360 versions of the Michael Jackson game - which are Move and Kinect compatible respectively - have been delayed into 2011. The DS, PSP and Wii versions will still be out in November. Shamon!
The Michael Jackson Experience enables players to learn, copy and crib The King of Pop's moves. Check out Kotaku's impressions of the game.


Hostal Haalar is located in San Pedro de Atacama, 1 km from Saint Peters Church and 1 km from R.P. Gustavo Le Paige Archeological Museum. Free WiFi is available throughout the property and free private parking is available on site.
Inca House is 1 km from Hostal Haalar, while Pukará de Quitor is 1.7 km from the property.


Create with Gwen: On Your Special Day Card!
On Your Special Day Card!
Playing this weekend with new goodies! We created this Birthday card at Stamp Club this week and at a workshop last week. Now preparing more for a customer who is having her friends come to a Stampin' Party later this month! Easy to create no matter your card making experience.
Loving the new It's My Party Designer Series Paper 12" x 12" Stack! Beautiful, happy, paper. And I could stamp and punch out those tiny cupcakes all day!
Inside of card is stamped using Suite Sayings (Occasions Catalog pg. 41) and punched out the balloon from the DSP.
Adding a little shimmer to the cupcakes and the candle, with Wink of Stella brush, was the finishing touch!


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A man in a face mask listens to US President Donald Trump speak at the White House in Washington on April 30, 2020. (Mandel Ngan / AFP)
Trump makes false claims about COVID-19 testing
W.G. Dunlop, AFP USA Published on Saturday 2 May 2020 at 00:48Updated on Wednesday 6 May 2020 at 22:15
President Donald Trump has falsely claimed that the United States conducted more testing for COVID-19 than all other countries combined, and suggested that the administration of his predecessor Barack Obama left behind "bad, broken tests."
Figures show that of the more than 200 countries, territories and areas affected by the novel coronavirus pandemic, it only takes the cumulative number of tests in five to overtake that given by Trump for the United States.
And COVID-19 only emerged in 2019, meaning that contrary to Trump's suggestion, testing for the disease did not exist when Obama left office nearly three years earlier.
More tests than the rest of the world
"We did more tests than any other country anywhere in the world. And I think they told me yesterday a number -- if you add up the rest of the world, we've done more testing," Trump said during a meeting with New Jersey Governor Phil Murphy on April 30, 2020.
Trump repeated the claim on Twitter on May 4, writing: "We have great testing capacity, and have performed 6.5 million tests, which is more than every country in the world, combined!"
A screenshot of a tweet taken on May 6, 2020
The same claim has been made elsewhere on Twitter.
Trump's figure was lower than that from Johns Hopkins University, which put the number of test results at more than seven million at the time.
A screenshot of an archived page shows Johns Hopkins University data on COVID-19 testing in the United States on May 4, 2020
But as of May 4, Germany had conducted more than 2.7 million tests, Italy nearly 1.5 million, Spain more than 1.3 million and Turkey more than 1.1 million, while Britain had tested around one million people, combining for a total of more than 7.6 million -- above that given for the United States by Trump and Johns Hopkins.
And other countries whose citizens have been hit by the virus -- such as India and South Korea -- are carrying out testing as well.
COVID-19 -- which is caused by the novel coronavirus -- has killed more than 257,000 people and devastated the global economy.
While Trump has routinely praised his administration's handling of the crisis, he has been criticized for statements he made that downplayed the danger of the virus, such as comparing it to the common flu or saying that the risk it posed to the American people was "very low."
'Bad' tests
Trump also claimed during the meeting that "the last administration left us nothing" and that "we started off with bad, broken tests and obsolete tests."
He repeated this claim when pressed by a journalist on how this could be true since the virus is new, saying: "We had tests that were obsolete. We had tests that didn't take care of people."
But the novel coronavirus and COVID-19 "were unknown before the outbreak began in Wuhan, China, in December 2019," according to the World Health Organization.
Obama left office in January 2017.
AFP Fact Check has debunked more than 410 examples of false or misleading information about the novel coronavirus crisis. A complete list of our fact checks on the topic in English can be found here.
UPDATE: This article was updated on May 6, 2020 to add new statistics from Germany.
Have you seen content that you would like AFP USA to verify?
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W.G. Dunlop


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it's a big, nasty story, and very complex – easy to jump to a premature conclusion. But what seems definite is that we've got all this discussion as a result of a really impressive report. Alexis Jay, professor in social work and adviser to the Scottish government, has come up with something clear, intelligent and thorough. You can argue about what should happen next, but the seriousness of the issue is beyond doubt.
It's great that we have people like this, and not surprising – but it just feels that way, because so few of them emerge into government or media prominence, where there's a demand for more showy but less substantial qualities.


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DaisyRidley
Darke Reviews | Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)
NO SPOILER ZONE AHEAD. REPEAT NO SPOILER ZONE AHEAD.
I only say this as I found out today more than a few people don't read my reviews as they are afraid of spoilers. Thought it would be worth it to recap that, especially on what has been one of the most anticipated movies of the year. Now as to the movie, I have given my fan girl credentials before so no need to do so again. Let's get to the meat of this review right away and not waste anymore time with my usual preamble. Not even going to get quippy or referential with the question I ask:
How was the Last Jedi?
The movie was written and directed by Rian Johnson who doesn't have a lot of credits to his name, but is beloved by the majority of the folks who have seen his previous work; most especially 2005's high school retelling of a noir mystery film Brick. 2012's failed film Looper of course gave folks pause, but his vision on that was clear its how the studio muddied the waters that left a far murkier film that should have been better. Of course that brings us to The Last Jedi and Disney, ok Kathleen Kennedy specifically, giving the reins of one of the most profitable franchises ever to a director who is at best 50/50 on his success. Granted this can come from his ability to be directed by the producers effectively so they don't run into a Gareth Edwards (Rogue One) situation again, yet at the same time it is also trusting a man who its clear has vision and capabilities that exceed many of his peers in the past ten years. What could he do with that opportunity I wonder?
For one he could make a solid Star Wars movie that doesn't lean too heavily on what has come before. While I am sure there will be people who invariably compare it to Empire Strikes back, and there are similarities in more beats than I like, it doesn't hit it as close as Force Awakens did to A New Hope. The arc of the movie is wholly original within the Star Wars stories we've seen before, and even a majority of other science fiction. He does manage to craft real tension and characters into the story that have purpose, meaning, and weight to them which only adds to your investment into the story. You come to understand why Luke gave the look he did at the end of Episode VII. You get more into the psychology of Rey, Finn, and Poe to a point that they are truly exploring their own arcs and identities and all of it makes sense and shows the characters growing into the people they are meant to be for better or worse along the journey. It is a much smaller story than we are used to as well, and while it does hit the three planet rule most of the other films do, they aren't the focus or even a true backdrop to appreciate against the overriding pulse of the film – with perhaps the exception of Crait.
Yet, it is far from flawless in its scripting and story. It is bloated with truly unnecessary characters and beats, which hurts when you consider the movie runs just over two and a half hours from crawl to credits end. There's easily ten to fifteen minutes of unneeded footage in the film that does nothing to add to who the characters are, their arcs, or the arc of the greater 'verse that is being told. There are too many humorous beats that don't work or are otherwise just a touch awkward and out of place. It's not nearly as bad as Thor Ragnarok was in this regard, but it was noticeable. Frequent readers may go something like this now "Jess, you don't like comedy" and this is true for the most part. The trick here is this piece of feedback, while noticed by me, was commented on by my movie going partner this time and they DO like comedies. A few jokes here and there are good, and there's more than a few that land just right. The movie did edge into the land of too much comedy and oddly modern dialogue here – but only just a little. There are other flaws beyond this though that detract from the movie if you think about them in the slightest; most of which are flaws in logic and for me a few beats of "why was that needed?"
The actors were all on point though, Daisy Ridley (Rey) continues to impress, Oscar Isaac (Poe) can do no wrong, and Adam Driver (Kylo Ren) glowers his conflict well. Carrie Fisher will bring you to tears every time Leia says farewell to another, even if she comes across more Carrie than Leia – but she's earned that. Mark Hamill (Luke…duh) was a joy and gets to do far more than glare this time. We need to talk though about John Boyega. His character isn't treated as well as he could be, but damnit if this man can't react so well with his face. I absolutely loved him in Attack the Block and he continues to impress here and show a wider and wider range. I don't think next years Pacific Rim movie will do him any favors, but I promise you he is going to act and emote his heart out like he did here. Alas; even in casting there are weaknesses. Familiar faces show up and while one may not detract (Laura Dern) another (Benecio Del Toro) did for me. It is great and all to have familiar actors in these roles and I am sure they loved getting to act along side the others and be in a Star Wars film, but some folks just have a certain presence they bring with them which can be detrimental to the production – even if it is *very* minor. You would expect Jack Nicholson to swagger and smarm his way through any performance, Clancy Brown to use his voice and physical presence, and with Del Toro you expect some weird voice affectation and odd body language that just leaves him feeling off. He does that here and it just doesn't work (for me).
EDIT INSERT HERE: I did not talk about Kelly Marie Tran as Rose Tico. She is a gift and I owe her an apology for not including her in the review when I first published it a few minutes ago.
From a technicals perspective there's much like the rest of the movie good and bad to discuss.
Johnson's camera work with his long time cinematographer collaborator Steve Yedlin (Brick, Looper, Carrie, San Andreas) know how to move the camera for the most sense of scope, scale, and action. There is a good use of wide shots and pans with good angles to let you appreciate what you are seeing, while the close ups really bring you into the characters emotions. The shots on the planet Crait (white and red planet from the trailer) are gorgeous and weighty and I could watch those a few more times happily. There is nothing ill to say about the camera control here, but alas there is in the effects department. I know right? This is an absolute nitpick but there are enough unfinished – just not quite looking right – effects that eject you from the moment. Conversely there are hundreds that are beyond amazing with one in particular that is breath taking. There is an inordinate amount of practical work and puppetry here that brings a tear to the eyes and gives me hope we will see more practical in the future thanks to films like this and Blade Runner 2049.
John Williams Score. Its perfect. Fight me.
The Last Jedi does live up to its hype with me. It is a good movie that verges on the edge of great, but within the pantheon of Star Wars it is truly solid with its dedication to practical effects, characters you care about, and a story you want to see to the end. It does feel a bit long towards the end but nearly everything pays off in a satisfactory way. This review wasn't going to convince anyone one way or another, but we or at least I write these to praise movies for what they do right and call them on what they could do better. The things this could do better are minor and really could help edge it into one of the great Star Wars films, but even a good Star Wars movie is better than the majority of what we received this year and last combined.
Should you see it?
Why are you asking me? You already plan to. Seriously though its good. I like it a lot. I am a bit overly critical but you can get that way after seeing literally hundreds of movies in a year and as my understanding of film theory grows my critical eye does as well.
Are you going to see it again?
At least once, probably twice.
How about buying it?
Without a second though. Yes.
Can I have a little spoiler? Tell me about Luke or Leia or something.
How about Carrie Fisher – did they do right by her?
She's our Princess and our General; I and this movie salute her. I understand that there's enough footage for her to be in Episode IX posthumously, but if this one was all we had. I'd be OK with that too.
Any last thoughts on the movie?
Rian Johnson did a good job. The franchise was in good hands and I am looking forward to see what he does with his new trilogy that is being green lit – that isn't tied to the Skywalker arc.
Also, I like the Porg still.
May the Force be with you to my Jedi friends and to my Sith may the Force serve you well.
Tagged DaisyRidley, Finn, JohnBoyega, OscarIsaac, Rey, StarWars, TheLastJedi
Darke Reviews | Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)
This review is of course SPOILER Free.
SPOILER FREE got it?
On top of that since anyone who reads my reviews is seeing this as a foregone conclusion the review will take a different tone and style than usual.
It's been a full decade since the debacle that was George Lucas last run at the helm of the Star Wars franchise. His prequel trilogy is rightfully lambasted by many, though they do have a few redeeming qualities here and there. A few. By and large they deserve to be confined into cell block AA-23 and then thrown into a trash compactor. The acting was bad, the effects were bad, it was over produced and under directed.
J.J. Abrams comes along in 2006 and gives us Mission Impossible 3. He then goes in 2009 and writes his resume cover letter with Star Trek; a film many acknowledge (and bemoan) is more Wars than Trek. Lo and behold he lands the impossible job of reinvigorating a franchise many felt might be irredeemable. Talent is brought in to write in the form of Michael Arndt (Oblivion, Hunger Games: Catching Fire) and, in a brilliant move, Lawrence Kasdan. The man who gave us what is critically considered the best of the Star Wars franchise, Empire Strikes Back. Kasdan was also the pen behind other greats, such as Raiders of the Lost Ark, Silverado, and Return of the Jedi. This is what was missing.
The parts that were supposed to be intentionally funny – were funny. I laughed. The theatre laughed.
The reveals of old favorites – the audience cheered.
There is no Jar Jar, there is nothing like Jar Jar, if you consider that a spoiler…well deal with it.
The effects are PRACTICAL when they can be and there are A LOT of practical
That which must be CG is and the movie is largely better for it. The flight sequences with the X-Wings look so much better on the big screen than they did when I first saw the trailer.
John Williams returns to do the music.
Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, and Oscar Isaac have real chemistry. I want to see more of them.
Girls can look up to Daisy Ridley's Rey. She's a good character.
The movie could be called
Star Wars: The Force Apologizes
Is it flawless? No. There are a small score of issues I have with it. Some of the CG isn't as good as it could be. Some of the acting isn't as good as it could be. Some of the editing isn't ..ok a lot of the editing isn't as good as it could be. There are flaws. Yes.
That said, the movie makes every single attempt it can to make up for the last three movies and does so with great passion.
Yes. Yes. Yes. I really enjoyed it. It took me back with Nostalgia and then gave me some new things as well.
Should you see it in 3-D?
If you don't have a problem with 3-D, absolutely. There are shots that beg for the 3D treatment and shine because of it.
Should you wait?
Eh…no. Mostly so people can talk about it with you. They will want to.
Are you buying it?
Tagged 3D, CarrieFisher, DaisyRidley, Finn, HanSolo, JJAbrams, JohnBoyega, MovieReview, Review, Rey, StarWars, TheForceAwakens


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We believe that every Christian should grow in their relationship with Jesus (2 Peter 1:5-7) through Christian community, spiritual teaching, studying the Bible, and prayer (Acts 2:42). Additionally, the responsibility of all who follow Jesus is to obey the Great Commission: to proclaim the good news of Jesus and make disciples for Christ from people of all nations (Matthew 28:19-20, Acts 1:8).
We believe that those who trust in Jesus for salvation will spend eternity in fellowship with God, while those who do not trust in Jesus will experience eternal separation from God (Matt 25:46).
We believe in the Second Coming of Christ – that Jesus will one day return to set up His earthly kingdom and reign over all people, which will be unified with the heavenly kingdom (John 14:1-3, Hebrews 9:28).


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by Angelique Reyes
Miss Earth England 2018 Abbey-Anne Gyles
27 Aug 2018 | Angelique Reyes
Miss Earth Miss Earth England Miss Earth 2018 Finals England Europe
During the grand coronation of Miss Earth England 2018, held on 26th August 2018, Abbey-Anne Gyles-Brown was crowned as the new queen. She will now be representing England at Miss Earth 2018 to be held on 3rd November 2018 in Mall of Asia Arena, Pasay City, Philippines. Abbey succeeds and was crowned by Miss Earth England 2017 Charlotte Brooke, and is now the 12th winner of Miss Earth England.
Abbey performed exceptionally well at the grand finale where she won the Most Photogenic 2018 Award. She also was the winner of Beauties for a Cause UK Eco Ambassador Award at Miss Earth England 2018 for her dedicated and remarkable work in promoting environmental and animal protection in the UK.
Other awards handed out at Miss Earth England 2018 are Miss Congeniality Award - Josie Moran, Best In Runway Award - Gemma Gordon, Most Photogenic 2018 - Abbey Anne Gyles. Claire Michalski and Hannah Panchal were the runners-up of Beauties For A Cause UK Eco Ambassador Award. Best in Interview Award was taken by Amisha Patel.
Abbey is certainly a competitor to look out for as she has a lot of experience in the pageant world. She has won and participated in numerous pageants like she was Teen World Supermodel England 2013, then she won the title of Miss Northampton 2014; she was Miss Teen Earth UK 2014 and was a winner the Face of the World England 2018 after which she became the runner-up at Face Of The World Internationals 2017; and finally she completed her duties as Miss Earth UK Fire 2016.
Abbey works as a sales adviser at River Island and she is 20 years of age. She is from the city of Northampton. Abbey has also worked as a hostess at Leicester City Football Club. She was a student at the Northampton College, Booth Lane where she studied Performing Arts. She is bilingual, being proficient in English and Welsh languages.
England is yet to make a mark at Miss Earth 2018, and Abbey definitely is a very deserving a reliable candidate to be representing England at such a prestigious event. Added to it, she can use her experience from the prior participation in different beauty pageants to her advantage and bring the crown home.
Do you think Abbey will change the course of history and make England victorious? Let us know in the comments section below.


Originally the ships store building converted into condos. One of a kind property. Not average condominium building. incomparable, private, free standing building on quiet marina. Outstanding unobstructed views like no other in all bay directions from inside through surrounding 4 ft long windows. Wrap-around deck on octagonal blueprint. Engineered hardwood flooring in living/dining area and large bedroom. Open space living. 4 bedrooms, but could be 3 br with huge family room separated with French doors, with its own entrance from deck. All new upgraded, attractive amenities when new owners purchased the Marina downstairs. No attached neighbors to left or right. Complete privacy on this top floor, unique condo which seems more like a single family home. One bedroom currently used as a walk in closet. Low condo fee of $150/month. includes landscaping, trash, tennis court and pool. Boat slips can be rented from marina office. Service dogs allowed with certification MLS in error showing days on market. It was under contract within 1 week of listing and off the market in April for 5 months because buyers could not ultimately get a mortgage. Subtract 150 days from listed days on market.


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