text:
bigpleasedarroganthaughtyloftyprideimpressivegreatpridefulgladgratefulhappywonderfulrespectedillustrious
Proud Jokes
I told my son, "Son, I'm so proud of you and everything you have accomplished. I hope some day you will have children of your own." ... to which he replied:
"I hope you will too dad"
Due to the economic crisis, my dad decides to save money this year by shopping for a smaller Christmas tree. As he proudly places it on the checkout desk the cashier asks...
"Are you going to put this little tree up yourself sir?", to which my dad answers, "No I'm not you filthy animal! I'm going to put it in the living room!!"
This actually happened, and I'm sorry if the joke exists, i dont kno about it and I'm proud.
So I was at a bar, for a long long time. And I went to the bathroom to the urinal, and went about my business.
A drunk as hell guy comes in and goes to the urinal next to me to unleash, and says
"Why you holding on to your dick, is it so small you can't aim?"
And I INS...
The vacation in Thailand
Two Priests decided to go to Thailand on vacation.
They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as Priests.
For once, they'd enjoy a vacation as regular people.
As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought ...
"Proud Boys" should change their name, to avoid being tied to PRIDE events...
... to something like "Reigning Men."
I always felt proud when my mum told people that of all her kids, I was her easiest pregnancy and birth.
Then I turned 21 and found out that I was adopted.
Did you hear about the Proud Boy drag queen?
She goes by Militia Etheridge.
A proud father has six children.
He always calls his wife "Mother of Six," to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mother of six, we're leaving now."
She replies, "Be right with you, father of four."
I made this up on the spot and I'm really proud of it.
This isn't the best joke, but I'm really proud of how it came out. My sister and I are both in town visiting our parents for the first time in years. I keep dropping bad puns and my sister keeps yelling at me.
Tonight, we were telling stories from our youth, and I told her this one. She was r...
A dentist goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Bugatti Chiron
It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $1.5M. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light.
An old man on a moped, looking about 90 years old, pulls up next to him.
The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, "What kind of car ya got there,...
Three Buddhist monks die in a car crash…
They arrive in a beautiful clouded world and begin to walk towards a man. He is standing in front of the golden gates of heaven.
"Hello! I am Peter. Behind me, is Heaven. Unfortunately, I can't let you in since you three weren't Christians… But! if you can tell me what the meaning of Easter ...
An elderly woman was very proud of her four-month-old grandson.....
so she took him with her down to Miami Beach. The first morning she got him all decked out, and down they went to the beach, where she set him by the shore to play. But no sooner had she sat down in her beach chair than a huge tidal wave rose up and swept the baby away.
"God," she said, stand...
A man dies one day and finds himself in Hell, much to his surprise.
The man has never sinned, he has attended church somewhat regularly and often gives to charity.
He asks at the gate if there has been a mistake to which the ferryman gives no answer.
He figures there is little hope for him, but somehow he will make the best of his situation.
He ...
call me anything you want, i kicked a pregnant lady right at her stomach, and I'm proud of it
i kicked her from the inside though
Drunk guy climbs into bed with his wife..
A drunk guy climbs into bed with his wife. He's so drunk he instantly passes out. A while after passing out he is awoken by a bright light emanating from the end of the bed. He struggles to get himself into a sitting position and after doing so sees that there is a figure in or behind the light.
Two blondes are sitting at a bar...
Two blondes are sitting at a bar, obviously celebrating something. They wave over the bartender, and tell him to pour two more shots. Once poured, the two blondes clink their glasses together and say "42! YEAH!! 42!".
"Bartender, another round!"
Same thing happens on this shot. They c...
Between her legs
A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She became worried and asked her mom, "What is this?"
Her mom calmly said, "That part where the hair is grown is called Monkey. Be proud that your monkey has grown hair."
At dinner she told her sister, "My monkey has grown hair...
A guy walks into a bar .........
A guy walks into a bar after a long day at work and orders a drink. As he sits there mulling over his day he hears a high pitched voice say, "That shirt looks great on you!" The guy looks around, doesn't see anything, and returns to his drink thinking no more of it. The voice, however, returns sayin...
What has two of every animal and flies the Jolly Roger proudly?
Noah's arrrrrrrrrrrr.....
My energy supplier proudly boasts that they use 100% renewables. They sent my renewal quote.
Can anybody tell me what day it was, when wind doubled in price?
John was in the fertilized egg business.
He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.
Today I'm turning 40 but I feel so proud of my 20yr old slim body ...
And if you don't believe me go check my freezer.
Why did the Proud Boy check on his sad friend?
To make sure his friend was feeling... alt-right.
Feel free to downvote me to reddit hell...
A son ask his dad "Dad, how can I take the next step with my girl? We kissed and all, but I don't know how to proceed... "
His dad answers "Listen to me son, do what I did with your mother. I treated her to a romantic dinner, took her home and brought her to her room. We're there, I look at her, and she looks at me. I look at her she looks at me, I look at her she looks at me, I move her panties away and put it in! " ...
"I know where babies come from."
After coming home from school and sitting down on the couch, young Jenny proudly proclaimed "Mommy, I know where babies come from!"
Imagining storks and unicorns, her Mom said "OK, then why don't you tell me Honey."
Jenny says "The Mommy and Daddy take off their clothes and start huggi...
A joke from my very proud wife: what do you call a tiny axolotl?
"An axolitl!!"
a young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot. One day some builders arrived to put up a house on the lot
The family had a three year old daughter who naturally took some interest in all the activity going on next door.
She hung around on the margins, and eventually the builders adopted her as kind of a mascot. They chatted to her and gave her little pretend jobs to do.
At the end of the w...
The Russian conscript
Ivan had just been conscripted to fight in Ukraine. As part of his basic training he had to participate in a war game. The day of the war game, Ivan realised he had misplaced his rifle, so he went to his Lieutenant: " Lieutenant, I lost my rifle. What am I going to use for the war games?"
"I don'...
One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red looked outside and said "It's going to rain!"
His wife asked "How do you know?"
He smiled and answered proudly, "Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
A Jew, Muslim and Christian are in a bar
A Jew, Muslim and Christian are in a bar. They are arguing about which religion is the best at recruiting new followers. In the end they all decide to each go into the woods over the week and find a bear. They are then to try and convert that bear to their religion.
A week goes by and they all me...
My son came up with this joke, I'm pretty proud of him
What do you call a murderer who rides a pedal bike?
A cycle path!
Police patrol in the Outback
Recently a routine police patrol was parked outside a bar in the Outback.
After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.
Six Lessons
**Lesson 1:**
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give y...
Proudly showing off his new flat…
… to his friends last night, a slightly tipsy man led the way to his bedroom, where there was a big brass gong.
"What's that for?" one of the guests asked.
"That's the talking clock," the man replied.
"How does it work?" asked his friend.
"Watch…" the man said, giving it a whack with...
Proud my girlfriend refers to my junk as a weapon of mass destruction
Unfortunately she meant hard to find.
A bunch of functions are drinking in bar...
When someone yells "A differential is coming!" All the functions panic and try to hide, except e^x . One of the functions asked "e^x , why aren't you hiding from the differential?" To which it responded "I'm e^x , a differential can't do anything to me!" At that point, the differential walked in and...
The hunter and the bear
A hunter goes out into the forest to finally claim a black bear pelt for his sitting room. After a few hours of prowling, he's taken by surprise by a huge black bear who fucks him up the ass and then runs away. The hunter obviously shocked and embarrassed resolves to return the next day and shoot th...
A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave.
The first evening, the ship's Captain received the following note from the wife of a very wealthy and influential plantation owner:
"Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter's Debutante Ball. I would like you to send four well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their formal dress uni...
The guessing game
Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown.
She then goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.
\- "Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?"
The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. She blurts ou...
I love my life. Everybody around me is so happy. I am happy with myself and proud of my accomplishments. I would never think to harm myself in any way shape or form. And my heart is filled with nothing but positivity to myself and everyone around me.
APRIL FOOLS!!!!
At 581 words this long one has the advantage of making you laugh many times even before the punchline.
An out of work pianist with Tourette's Syndrome was strolling around the streets and bars of London. Walking down Dean Street he sees a lounge bar with a sign in the window: 'Pianist wanted for evening performances'. "Fucking get in there you cunt!" he says to himself and goes to the bar.
I proudly showed my son, "Check this out! Bought a new shrub trimmer today!" He shrugged and replied, "That's great, dad." I continued...
"It's cutting hedge technology!"
[Serious] I need help finding a joke for my mother's funeral
It was one of her favorite jokes but I can't remember the build up. It was something like....someone asked the virgin mary if she was proud of Jesus and since she was a Jewish mom she answered "you know, I really vanted he should be a doctor"
My friend is going around telling everyone that I said the Russians are really proud of themselves for conquering Chernobyl…
No, I corrected, I just said they were glowing!
Four 'Older' ladies are sitting in the tearoom of an exclusive country club, discussing their families.
Marjorie Puts down her tea and says "I am so proud of my son. He's a respected heart Surgeon. Just last month he performed a transplant on a famous billionaire and, In gratitude, the gentleman gave him a new Porsche sports car"
Mildred addresses her companions. "Of course, I am also very prou...
An American man gets married to a British woman.
Before the big night, his father tells him "Tonight I want you to carry your wife in your arms to show her that the US is a strong nation. Then I want you to throw her on the bed to show her that the US is a proud nation. And finally, I want you to take off your clothes to show her that the US is a ...
How long do you cook your pasta in Hell?
Until it's Al Dante!
I'm not proud of it. But I still like it.
Stalin is planning a visit to a Soviet preschool
In preparing, all of the children are taught to say that all of the best things in the world are available in the Soviet Union.
So, Stalin with his officials and his bodyguards arrives at the school, and he starts talking to the kids and asking them questions:
Firstly, he asks young Al...
The butcher
Once there was a man in a small town who decided that he wanted to be a butcher, so he bought a small store and started his own butcher shop. It was a very modest store, consisting of only a couple display cabinets, a meat grinder, and a few shelves in the refrigerator. This man quickly became known...
I am a proud anti-vaccine Father of 3.
Edit- Two Now
2nd Edit- One Now
3rd Edit- Nevermind
4th Edit- WOW this really blew up. I would like to dedicate all these wonderful awards to my 3 children Byeson, Dieanne, and Ammunity. They would have been so proud. RIP
A young lawyer who recently hung out his shingle, was retained by a criminal with $5 and a very poor defense
"Well, you got a case, son," said his proud father.
"Yes, dad."
"And what advice did you give your client?"
"After listening to his story I collected what money he had and advised him to retain a more experienced lawyer."
Source: 1913 newspaper
The atheist and the bear
One day, an atheist man was walking through the woods. He was a proud atheist, never skipping the opportunity to mock those of faith for their ignorance and blindness to reality. He was enjoying his stroll through nature.
All of a sudden, there was a loud crashing behind him. He turned to look an...
Children are like farts.
You're proud of your own, but other people's are kinda gross.
My 10 year old Son just came up with this one and I couldn't be more proud: What's Batman's favourite fruit?
A Banananananananananananananananana
EDIT: Thank you everyone for the awards and kind words! Just to clarify:
* Yes, he does know the 60's batman theme. My partner loves campy batman so it was inevitable. [The Simpsons](https://youtu.be/TQepz5rsS6E?t=88) also made sure of that.
* Gi...
Vladimir Putin suffers a heart attack amidst the Ukraine crisis, and falls into a coma...
... A few years later, he wakes up, gets back on his feet and walks out of his room, right past the sleeping guard.
He walks out of the hospital onto the streets of Moscow, and finds that most people don't recognize him. Several years of vegetative coma seem to have taken its toll on his appe...
My British friend was really proud of his heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.
Now he can't even look at himself in the mirror.
A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second.
On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang.
It was a doctor in the hospital emergency room notifyin...
Cannot wait to become a proud American!
I'm not immigrating or anything, I'm just not proud to be American.
The Smiths were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower and their descendants included senators and Wall Street wizards.
They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren.
They hired a fine author.
Only one problem arose, how to handle great-uncle George, the criminal, who was executed in the electric chair.
The author said he could handle the story tactfully.
The book...
I am a proud antivax parent of 4 children.
Edit: 3 children
Edit: 2
[NSFW] A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there was sex after death.
After a long life together , the wife was the first to die and true to her words, she made first contact.
W: "Darling. Darling."
H: "Is that you my love?"
W: "Yes , I've come back like we agreed"
H : "That's wonderful! What is it like in the afterlife? Is there sex?"<...
North Korea announced to have successfully landed a man on the Sun
During a live interview with Kim Jong-un, a reporter asked, "the Sun is very hot! How did you land a man?" Kim proudly replied, "we launch at night!"
Meanwhile, Trump tweeted while watching the live, "Haha what an idiot! There is no Sun at night!"
Bert's new boots
Bert, 80, always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. So, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home:
Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife. "Notice anything different about me?"
Margaret, 75, looked him over.
Frustrated, ...
A few years ago I had a proud (step)dad moment I think this sub will like..
This was right after picking her up from preschool. She was usually a bit grumpy and I always tried to be fun and keep the drive home more upbeat.
Her: "I'm hungry."
Me: "Nice to meet you, hungry, I'm dad."
Her: "Ahhhhgh could you not say that anymore?"
my from 10y daughter. so proud!
Yo mama is so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven!
Yo mama is so fat, when Thanos snapped his fingers, only half of her dissappeared!
Little Johnny's teacher...
... was going over the week's vocabulary words and asked the class if anyone could use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence. Nobody raised their hand except Little Johnny.
"Anybody? Anyone at all?" she asked, ignoring Little Johnny who was enthusiastically waving his hand from the back of the...
A man goes to meet his girlfriend's family (long)
A man goes to meet his fiancee's family. At the house is the fiancee, her parents, and her super attractive younger sister. After dinner, the fiancee goes to her room to unpack, the mother is in the kitchen doing dishes, and the father is in his mancave, leaving the man and his girlfriend's sister a...
Whenever I wake with a terrible hangover, I proudly invoke the inspirational last words of the philosopher Socrates who died saying:
"What the hell did I drink?"
My first NSFW joke that I proudly wrote when I was 9 years old: What's the difference between tennis and badminton?
A: One you play with your balls, one you play with your cock.
The king was looking for a prince to marry his only daughter.
Naturally the king was very picky and decided to devise a set of tests only the bravest, storngest and most feirce would even dare.
Princes from all around the world showed up and the tests begun.
After a growling month where more then half didn't even survive, a clear winner came forward...
A Mexican, a Spaniard and an American are all travelling in a plane
When suddenly, the plane crashed onto a small island. The three emerged from the crash remains and noticed they're the only survivors.
They quickly organized and started gathering materials to survive when suddenly, a group of native cannibals surrounded them with spears and took them to the...
Isaac is a Jewish man, however he recently found out his son converted to Christianity. This is no good, for Isaac is a proud, devout Jew. This shouldn't happen to a proud Jew like he.
So Isaac visits his friend Abel and says 'Abel, Abel, my son has become a Christian, what am I going to do?'
'Funny you should say that' says Abel, 'My son has also become a Christian, this should not happen to a proud, devout Jew like I. So they talk with each other and say 'we'll talk to the Ra...
A waitress, on her last day, decides to walk to each of her tables and lift up her skirt to proudly proclaim,
"Super Pussy!". She continues to do this over and over to the horror of her customers, until she reaches a table which sat an elderly man. She approaches him and lifts up her skirt and, again, proclaims, "Super Pussy!" and awaits his reaction. The old man looks at her, then her pussy, then back at h...
Four monks were called by an abbot for a test of purity. They were asked to drop their robes and stand naked.
The abbot brought four small bells and asked the monks to tie them to their penis. Their task was to stand still and not make the bell ring. The task seemed easy until the abbot brought a super hot model into the room. None of the bells rang ,so the abbot asked the super model to do a strip dance. T...
Im proud to announce, that I officially lost my virginity
God I wish I could post this in another subreddit
A man was very proud of the fact that he was born with three testicles
One day, he's walking down the street and he walks by another man. Smugly, he tells him, "did you know that between the two of us, there are a total of five balls?"
The other man gives him a confused look and says, "so you mean you only have one?"
Carlos was the proud owner of a Mexican Bed & Breakfast in Cancun...
It was founded by his Great-grandfather in the 1800s. He had come to Mexico from Spain and bought the run-down place with a loan from from a businessman back home. Through hard work and sheer determination, he had built the place up to a relatively successful B&B.
After his death, he lef...
I became a proud dad today
My son is actually 4 years but he was really boring for the first 3 years
"Snoring is just someone bragging about being asleep."
I can't take credit for this joke, but I am proud to say I'm married to one of the all time greatest braggers.
Ever since the pandemic started, every morning I proudly announce to my family that I'm going for a jog and then I don't...
It's my longest running joke of the year so far...
My son was walking shirtless showing his 6 pack abs proudly and said 'This didn't happen by accident'
I said ' if you ask your mother,she would tell a different answer' .
I am proud to say I give all the ladies repetitive strain injury.
Unfortunately it's from swiping left on my tinder profile.
Greta Thunberg would be proud of this sub
The content is very repeatedly recycled.
My six year old made her own joke and is so proud
What's a chicken's favorite music?
Bach Bach
A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?".
'About 32,' is the reply.'
'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.' The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.'
Now she's...
A Building executive man goes to China
A Congolese Building executive man goes to China to visit their pen pal, who is also a building executive. He shows up at his house, and sees that it's huge. He's asks his friend how this could at all be the case.
His friend points into the distance and says: "do you see that bridge?
The USA is proud because their Founding Fathers had strong convictions
Big deal the founders of Australia had convictions too.
Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Each and every morning of those 15 years, Bob has woken up, farted loudly and proudly, rolled over onto his back and got out of bed to go to work...
And each and every morning for those 15 years, Martha has said to him disgustedly, "One of these days, you're gonna fart your guts out!"
But this has had no effect on Bob as he has continued merrily with his routine each morning.
Martha is totally fed up with this and then one Thanksgi...
My wife stared at me in disbelief and cried, "You're shirtless and also covered in… oil?!" I chuckled proudly, "Well, you're always saying..."
"...I never glisten!"
She screamed, **"LISTEN!!** You never **listen!!"**
Whenever I hear of a Putin General I think of this really piss poor joke:
A soldier shows up for military training, but realizes he forgot to bring his gun.
The sergeant hands him a stick and gestures to the training field.
"You'll have to use this, soldier. If you need to shoot someone, just aim your stick at them and shout 'Bangity bang-bang'. If someone g...
My son just told me he joined the Army. I asked him why and proudly, he said he joined up to kill people.
He's a terrible nurse.
Religion is like a penis.
It's fine to have one. It's fine to be proud of it. But please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around.
DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas and talks with an old rancher.
He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown dr*gs."
The rancher says, "Okay, but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location.
The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me."...
Murphy's Pub
**Two men were sitting next to each other at Murphy's Pub in London. After awhile, one bloke looks at the other and says, "I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland."**
**The other bloke responds proudly, "Yes, that I am!"**
**The first one says, "So am I!...
My daughter was doing her homework and asked me what I knew about Galileo.
I, proudly and confidently, told her that he was just a poor boy from a poor family.
Everything's Big in Texas
A Texan goes to a bar and buys everyone a round of drinks, exclaiming that his wife has just given birth to their first child "a Texas sized" baby boy weighing 24 pounds.
Congrats came from all over the bar and folks saying "Wow"
Two weeks later, the Texan returns to the bar. The bart...
Why are unworn shoes so proud?
They have never known da feet.
Johnny and Susie were playing naked, wondering why they have different "parts"
When Johnny got home he asked his mother why he had a stick and Susie had a hole. Johnny's mother said "oh son, you have a Ferrari, and Susie has a garage; the time will come and you'll park your Ferrari in her garage"
When Susie got home she asked her father why she had a hole and Johnny had...
Busy night
A young married couple was having money problems, and since the rent was due in just two days and they were short, they had to think of something fast…
She might not have been the brightest bulb, but his wife had a great ass, so when he suggested she turn that great ass into a money-maker an...
I was very proud of myself today.
I ate a kid's meal at McDonald's.
His mom beat the shit out of me.
I can proudly say that I'm the head of the family and whatever decisions I make are final
I even got my wife's permission to say so
I was out shopping tonight, when I saw a new brand of condoms called, "Olympic." Trying to get in to the spirit of things, I bought a pack and when I got home, I sprinted in singing the Olympic theme song and proudly showed them to my wife...
"Olympic condoms!?" she asked. "What makes them so special? Are we only going to use them once every four years?!"
Chuckling, I replied, "No,no! You see, there are three colors, Gold, Silver and Bronze!"
"What color are you going to wear tonight?" she asked cheekily.
"Gold of co...
Doctors advice
Jay's primary care doctor recently retired and that forced him to find a new one, which he did.
After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, Jay's new doctor said he was doing "fairly well for a man his age"… Having just turned forty-four in July, Jay was a little concerned about the doctor's c...
What do you call two communists who masturbate together?
Cum-rades!
(I am not sorry, this was brilliant and I'm proud of it.)
Why did the Blonde feel so proud of herself for finishing a jigsaw puzzle in only six months?
It said 2-4 years on the box.
A man decided to tattoo his wife's name on his penis before going to their honeymoon
When erect it proudly reads *Wendy* on the side of his shaft, but when soft it only shows *Wy*.
While on his honeymoon in the Caribbean, he is using the bathroom and notices the guy in the urinal next to him also has a *Wy* on his penis. He then asks the guy if his wife is named Wendy.
A Blonde woman is walking two dogs, one White and the other Black.
An Old lady walking down the same street notices them and since it's a breed she's never seen before, she's curious and walks up to the woman. "Wow, these dogs are adorable. What kind are they?". The Blonde smiles and goes "Which one, the white one or the black one?".
The old lady is a little...
I'm a proud anti-vaxx mother of three children!
EDIT: I'm a proud anti-vaxx woman!
Little Girl And Construction Workers
Here's a heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little girl and some construction workers. This will make you believe that we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of your time...
A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day, a construction cr...
See? To prove I'm not some boring house dad I went and got a tattoo!
Her: Oh, cool! It's.. uh?
Me: (proudly) It's my thermos! From work!
Her: (reaching towards me) Well, uh, the line work is certainly..
Me: (slaps hand away) Don't touch the thermos tat.
18 pounds at birth
A Scotsman was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his cell phone.
After he hangs up, he orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces his wife has just produced a typical Scottish baby boy weighing 18 pounds.
Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 1...
I'm proud to announce I have stuck to my New Years Resolution and did not bite my nails the entire month of January.
My feet have never looked better.
A man invites some of his fetish club over for breakfast....
They are catching up on life and swapping stories about work, their grandkids' birthdays, their recent stock market fortunes, and so on, when the subject of what they're most proud of comes up.
Gerald, a 35 year old dentist, proudly exclaims, "Of everyone here, I by far, have the larges...
Got an email from Google Earth proudly stating that they can read maps backwards.
I thought to myself, "That's just spam."
A joke i heard a while ago
The 120 year old grandfather goes to the doctor for his physical and says he's feeling great. "So great, in fact, I got my girlfriend pregnant!" he proudly boasts to the doctor.
"Let me tell you a story." the doctor says. "A man went for a walk in the woods whereupon he encountered a bear,...
A prostitute is taking some night classes and struggling with the math.
One day, it clicks. She says, "I give like 5 blowjobs a day. That's like 35 blowjobs a week!" The teacher is so proud, "Now you're thinking with your head!"
A fighter pilot was arrested for attempting to set fire to his lover in bed
In court, the prosecutor asked him why on earth he would do such a thing.
The pilot met his eye and proudly declared:
"Sir, I am a highly decorated fighter pilot, and when I go down, I go down in flames."
Proudly showing off his newly-leased downtown apartment to a couple of friends late one night.
An intelligent drunken Aussie led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong hanging on the wall.
'What's that big brass gong for?' one of the friend's asked.
'Issss nod a gong. Issss a talking Kiwi clock' he drunkenly replied.
'A talking Kiwi clock...seriously?!...
How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to change the bulb and two to chastise them for performing such a menial task as a member of a proud warrior race.
Play a role of a fool to fool the fool
A proud and confident genius makes a bet with an idiot. The genius says, "Hey idiot, every question I ask you that you don't know the answer, you have to give me $5. And if you ask me a question and I can't answer yours I will give you $5,000." The idiot says, "Okay." The genius then asks, "How many...
My father was never proud of me.
When I was younger he sat me down and asked, "Son, why haven't you made anything of yourself? Done something with your life? Something I can brag about to the guys at work?"
And I looked up to him, sincerity in my eyes as I admitted, "Dad, I'm only 5 years old."
And he responded, "Son,...
My wife made this joke and she was so proud of herself so I have to share it:
What do you do with a dirty sheep?
Give it a Baaaaath
A Gentleman Is Walking Down The Street With A Duck
On the way he runs into a friend of his. The friend inquires about why he's holding the duck. To which the man replies:
"I know I have to get rid of it, but I love this duck. I'd have to trade it to someone who wants it and I just can't see myself letting it go for nothing. This is absolutely...
Jack and the Sheriffs
A cowboy named Jack rides into town. He brings his horse up to the outside of the saloon but as he goes to get down, his foot gets stuck in the stirrup. The sheriff happens to be walking by. Jack calls him over and asks for help getting his foot unstuck. The sheriff gives him a hand. The cowboy than...
The story of how I met Mr Ache.
There once was a man, funnier than anybody else. People knew him as Mr Ache. Some would travel from far and wide to learn the art of telling a joke from this guy. He might just have been the funniest guy who ever lived.
One day, I decided I wanted to make a post on r/Jokes. I packed up my thi...
My 6 year old just made this one up, really proud. If a pear "paralyzes" you, what does an apple do?
It paralyzes you.
Proud University Graduates
Two young men who had just graduated from university climbed into a taxi wearing
their graduation gowns.
Cab Driver : "Are you graduates from the city university?"
Young Graduates: "Yes, sir," they announced proudly. "Class of 2021."
Cab Driver : ...
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer see's a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!
So he turns on his lights
and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five
old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the
back, wide eyed and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him,
"Officer, I don't understand, I was ...
A Woman Goes To Buy (Another) Parrot
A woman goes to buy a parrot. The shopkeeper brings her three parrots to see.
"This parrot is a marvel. It toured with the Royal Shakespeare Company. It can recite any play by Shakespeare on command, doing different voices for each part. It's yours for only $200"
"That's amazing, but I...
An inventor goes to the bank for help with funding...
(Many years on Reddit and I've never seen this joke that a customer told my brother and I while we were waiting tables in Yellowstone.)
An inventor goes into a bank for a loan:
The banker across the desk says "Pitch me your idea."
The inventor hands him an apple.
The banker is alre...
My little nephew wanted to share a joke he was very proud of coming up with: Why did the hotdog get grounded?
It was being a brat!
"I'm proud to be a black man"
"I'm proud to be a black man!" said the black man.
"I'm proud to be an Asian man!" said the Asian man.
"I'm proud to be a white man!" said the racist.
The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.'
The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.' I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!' Well, the hours passed and the drinks went down way too easily.
Around 3 a.m., a bit pissed, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the...
I'm proud to say I've never paid for sex.
Nevermind that I have several pimps and prostitutes looking for me.
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In my twelve yrs of practice, I've been used by using a wide range of law corporations. After i determined to open my own observe, I began thinking of the traits which make up the top regulation firms. In identifying the top regulation firms does one contain things like personnel rewards, business lifestyle and personnel turnover charges? Or do you concentration within the qualities that impact a best website builder for lawyers most cherished commodity – the consumer? My choose on that is that the most effective law corporations employ good quality attorneys and personnel with the maximum of moral benchmarks and also the want to struggle inside of their moral bounds for his or her consumers.
One vital consider acquiring a prosperous regulation practice can be an effective leader. An excellent chief will have a eyesight to the firm's path, a determination to serving its clientele, as well as a motivation to discover like-minded folks that consider don't just inside the clientele, however the brand name on the company. I have located in my apply that helpful leaders can rapidly transform with results and advancement. They usually reduce contact along with the incredibly men and women that aided them develop into a successful powerhouse. It truly is uncomplicated to go from a state of affairs of weekly partner/associate lunches to almost never, if ever, viewing a lover inside the place of work. Effective leaders at the ideal regulation agency possess a fantastic comprehension of the lawful get the job done coming out of your business office, the overall satisfaction of its consumers, and an recognition with the employees' in general work gratification. With achievement and growth, it is uncomplicated to lose touch with these critical factors, but fantastic leaders will continue to be cognizant of such things, despite having exponential advancement of the business.
The most effective legislation corporations also have compassion for his or her shoppers. When attorneys at these firms satisfy with purchasers, it's never about sharing the attorney's successes. Rather, it's hearing your consumers concerns, figuring out their general aim by way of representation from the agency, and displaying empathy towards their scenario. Quite a few lawyers look at their clients and find out dollar indicators. They look with the possibility to invoice or maybe the complete price they can get paid on the contingency for the huge settlement. These lawyers fall short to recall among one of the most fundamental ethical consideration of attorneys, performing inside the most effective interest of the shopper. Due to the fact at the conclusion of the day, the many billable hrs on this planet is not going to make a apply productive Should you never fulfill and choose great care within your purchasers. Corporations using this attitude typically have substantial turnover premiums since they make billing THE precedence. They burn up their lawyers out and convey in brand name new attorneys and begin the process clean with them. This could simply lead to dissatisfaction by clientele. They could not know from just one thirty day period to your future which lawyer is symbolizing them.
Another vital good quality with the finest legislation companies is actually a narrow focus over a distinct region of legislation. The days of typical practitioners is (or must be) absent. Guidelines are sophisticated and will alter in an quick determined by laws or new situation law handed down by appellate courts. The most effective legislation corporations have concentrate on one spot of legislation and grow to be excellent at it.


For several months, I have been struggling to find a new place to live after I will have sold my house. This process has still not resulted into anything tangible. It may have taken longer than necessary as I have been changing course for several times. Slowly, a picture is emerging. The lack of supply in available Dutch houses does not help in making any decisions.
The process of finding a new place to live is frustrating and irritating me. I know that I am a decisive person. I am not afraid of making decisions.
My apparent indecision did not make any sense to me. However, my indecision was a good reason for a new blog and a diagram on decision making.
In a way, the results in the diagram are comforting: my indecision is about doubt rather than fear. Considering my Zodiac (Pisces), doubt is familiar to me.
It's important to realise that this doubt is rooted in (not) establishing priorities. With hindsight, I must acknowledge that my priorities have long been shifting due to a continued change in circumstances.
In September 2015, I published my blog Why do we procrastinate? That blog already indicates that procrastination is about setting other and different priorities. There is no ambiguity which priorities are on the list, or their (official) ranking. Neither is doubt or fear involved. In 2015, I concluded that procrastination is about a time related risk / reward balance.
Much to my initial surprise, the genuine type of indecision is in the domain of cannot and will not making decisions due to fear related considerations. This domain is characterised by the notorious "What-If" questions. Removing the fear will enable a decision as doubt was not the issue.
The upper-right corner feels familiar to me: my decisions are usually free of doubt and free of fear. Obviously, any decision faces challenges on the information (quality) criteria of completeness, correctness, and timeliness. Assumptions fill the gaps. This is where education and experience enter the equation.
"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing." A quote by Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919), 26th US President.


text:
#include "config.h"
#include "pu.h"
#include "joint_internal.h"

//****************************************************************************
// Prismatic and Universal

dxJointPU::dxJointPU( dxWorld *w ) :
        dxJointUniversal( w )
{
    // Default Position
    //               Y                ^ Axis2
    //              ^                 |
    //             /                  |     ^ Axis1
    // Z^         /                   |    /
    //  |        / Body 2             |   /         Body 1
    //  |       /  +---------+        |  /          +-----------+
    //  |      /  /         /|        | /          /           /|
    //  |     /  /         / +        _/     -    /           / +
    //  |    /  /         /-/--------(_)----|--- /-----------/-------> AxisP
    //  |   /  +---------+ /                 -  +-----------+ /
    //  |  /   |         |/                     |           |/
    //  | /    +---------+                      +-----------+
    //  |/
    //  .-----------------------------------------> X
    //             |----------------->
    //             Anchor2           <--------------|
    //                               Anchor1
    //

    // Setting member variables which are w.r.t body2
    dSetZero( axis1, 4 );
    axis1[1] = 1;

    // Setting member variables which are w.r.t body2
    dSetZero( anchor2, 4 );
    dSetZero( axis2, 4 );
    axis2[2] = 1;

    dSetZero( axisP1, 4 );
    axisP1[0] = 1;

    dSetZero( qrel1, 4 );
    dSetZero( qrel2, 4 );

    limotP.init( world );
    limot1.init( world );
    limot2.init( world );
}

dReal dJointGetPUPosition( dJointID j )
{
    dxJointPU* joint = ( dxJointPU* ) j;
    dUASSERT( joint, "bad joint argument" );
    checktype( joint, PU );

    dVector3 q;
    // get the offset in global coordinates
    dMultiply0_331( q, joint->node[0].body->posr.R, joint->anchor1 );

    if ( joint->node[1].body )
    {
        dVector3 anchor2;

        // get the anchor2 in global coordinates
        dMultiply0_331( anchor2, joint->node[1].body->posr.R, joint->anchor2 );

        q[0] = (( joint->node[0].body->posr.pos[0] + q[0] ) -
                ( joint->node[1].body->posr.pos[0] + anchor2[0] ) );
        q[1] = (( joint->node[0].body->posr.pos[1] + q[1] ) -
                ( joint->node[1].body->posr.pos[1] + anchor2[1] ) );
        q[2] = (( joint->node[0].body->posr.pos[2] + q[2] ) -
                ( joint->node[1].body->posr.pos[2] + anchor2[2] ) );
    }
    else
    {
        //N.B. When there is no body 2 the joint->anchor2 is already in
        //     global coordinates

        q[0] = (( joint->node[0].body->posr.pos[0] + q[0] ) -
                ( joint->anchor2[0] ) );
        q[1] = (( joint->node[0].body->posr.pos[1] + q[1] ) -
                ( joint->anchor2[1] ) );
        q[2] = (( joint->node[0].body->posr.pos[2] + q[2] ) -
                ( joint->anchor2[2] ) );

        if ( joint->flags & dJOINT_REVERSE )
        {
            q[0] = -q[0];
            q[1] = -q[1];
            q[2] = -q[2];
        }
    }

    dVector3 axP;
    // get prismatic axis in global coordinates
    dMultiply0_331( axP, joint->node[0].body->posr.R, joint->axisP1 );

    return dCalcVectorDot3( axP, q );
}

dReal dJointGetPUPositionRate( dJointID j )
{
    dxJointPU* joint = ( dxJointPU* ) j;
    dUASSERT( joint, "bad joint argument" );
    checktype( joint, PU );

    if ( joint->node[0].body )
    {
        // We want to find the rate of change of the prismatic part of the joint
        // We can find it by looking at the speed difference between body1 and the
        // anchor point.

        // r will be used to find the distance between body1 and the anchor point
        dVector3 r;
        dVector3 anchor2 = {0,0,0};
        if ( joint->node[1].body )
        {
            // Find joint->anchor2 in global coordinates
            dMultiply0_331( anchor2, joint->node[1].body->posr.R, joint->anchor2 );

            r[0] = ( joint->node[0].body->posr.pos[0] -
                     ( anchor2[0] + joint->node[1].body->posr.pos[0] ) );
            r[1] = ( joint->node[0].body->posr.pos[1] -
                     ( anchor2[1] + joint->node[1].body->posr.pos[1] ) );
            r[2] = ( joint->node[0].body->posr.pos[2] -
                     ( anchor2[2] + joint->node[1].body->posr.pos[2] ) );
        }
        else
        {
            //N.B. When there is no body 2 the joint->anchor2 is already in
            //     global coordinates
            // r = joint->node[0].body->posr.pos -  joint->anchor2;
            dSubtractVectors3( r, joint->node[0].body->posr.pos, joint->anchor2 );
        }

        // The body1 can have velocity coming from the rotation of
        // the rotoide axis. We need to remove this.

        // N.B. We do vel = r X w instead of vel = w x r to have vel negative
        //      since we want to remove it from the linear velocity of the body
        dVector3 lvel1;
        dCalcVectorCross3( lvel1, r, joint->node[0].body->avel );

        // lvel1 += joint->node[0].body->lvel;
        dAddVectors3( lvel1, lvel1, joint->node[0].body->lvel );

        // Since we want rate of change along the prismatic axis
        // get axisP1 in global coordinates and get the component
        // along this axis only
        dVector3 axP1;
        dMultiply0_331( axP1, joint->node[0].body->posr.R, joint->axisP1 );

        if ( joint->node[1].body )
        {
            // Find the contribution of the angular rotation to the linear speed
            // N.B. We do vel = r X w instead of vel = w x r to have vel negative
            //      since we want to remove it from the linear velocity of the body
            dVector3 lvel2;
            dCalcVectorCross3( lvel2, anchor2, joint->node[1].body->avel );

            // lvel1 -=  lvel2 + joint->node[1].body->lvel;
            dVector3 tmp;
            dAddVectors3( tmp, lvel2, joint->node[1].body->lvel );
            dSubtractVectors3( lvel1, lvel1, tmp );

            return dCalcVectorDot3( axP1, lvel1 );
        }
        else
        {
            dReal rate = dCalcVectorDot3( axP1, lvel1 );
            return ( (joint->flags & dJOINT_REVERSE) ? -rate : rate);
        }
    }

    return 0.0;
}

void
dxJointPU::getSureMaxInfo( SureMaxInfo* info )
{
  info->max_m = 6;
}

void
dxJointPU::getInfo1( dxJoint::Info1 *info )
{
    info->m = 3;
    info->nub = 3;

    // powered needs an extra constraint row

    // see if we're at a joint limit.
    limotP.limit = 0;
    if (( limotP.lostop > -dInfinity || limotP.histop < dInfinity ) &&
            limotP.lostop <= limotP.histop )
    {
        // measure joint position
        dReal pos = dJointGetPUPosition( this );
        limotP.testRotationalLimit( pos );  // N.B. The function is ill named
    }

    if ( limotP.limit || limotP.fmax > 0 ) info->m++;

    bool limiting1 = ( limot1.lostop >= -M_PI || limot1.histop <= M_PI ) &&
                     limot1.lostop <= limot1.histop;
    bool limiting2 = ( limot2.lostop >= -M_PI || limot2.histop <= M_PI ) &&
                     limot2.lostop <= limot2.histop;

    // We need to call testRotationLimit() even if we're motored, since it
    // records the result.
    limot1.limit = 0;
    limot2.limit = 0;
    if ( limiting1 || limiting2 )
    {
        dReal angle1, angle2;
        getAngles( &angle1, &angle2 );
        if ( limiting1 )
            limot1.testRotationalLimit( angle1 );
        if ( limiting2 )
            limot2.testRotationalLimit( angle2 );
    }

    if ( limot1.limit || limot1.fmax > 0 ) info->m++;
    if ( limot2.limit || limot2.fmax > 0 ) info->m++;
}

void
dxJointPU::getInfo2( dxJoint::Info2 *info )
{
    const int s0 = 0;
    const int s1 = info->rowskip;
    const int s2 = 2 * s1;

    const dReal k = info->fps * info->erp;

    // pull out pos and R for both bodies. also get the `connection'
    // vector pos2-pos1.

    dReal *pos1, *pos2 = 0, *R1, *R2 = 0;
    pos1 = node[0].body->posr.pos;
    R1 = node[0].body->posr.R;
    if ( node[1].body )
    {
        pos2 = node[1].body->posr.pos;
        R2 = node[1].body->posr.R;
    }

    dVector3 axP; // Axis of the prismatic joint in global frame
    dMultiply0_331( axP, R1, axisP1 );

    // distance between the body1 and the anchor2 in global frame
    // Calculated in the same way as the offset
    dVector3 dist;
    dVector3 wanchor2 = {0,0,0};
    if ( node[1].body )
    {
        dMultiply0_331( wanchor2, R2, anchor2 );
        dist[0] = wanchor2[0] + pos2[0] - pos1[0];
        dist[1] = wanchor2[1] + pos2[1] - pos1[1];
        dist[2] = wanchor2[2] + pos2[2] - pos1[2];
    }
    else
    {
        if (flags & dJOINT_REVERSE )
        {
            // Invert the sign of dist
            dist[0] = pos1[0] - anchor2[0];
            dist[1] = pos1[1] - anchor2[1];
            dist[2] = pos1[2] - anchor2[2];
        }
        else
        {
            dist[0] = anchor2[0] - pos1[0];
            dist[1] = anchor2[1] - pos1[1];
            dist[2] = anchor2[2] - pos1[2];
        }
    }

    dVector3 q; // Temporary axis vector
    // Will be used at 2 places with 2 different meaning

    // ======================================================================
    // Work on the angular part (i.e. row 0)
    //

    // The axis perpendicular to both axis1 and axis2 should be the only unconstrained
    // rotational axis, the angular velocity of the two bodies perpendicular to
    // the rotoide axes should be equal. Thus the constraint equations are
    //    p*w1 - p*w2 = 0
    // where p is a unit vector perpendicular to both axis1 and axis2
    // and w1 and w2 are the angular velocity vectors of the two bodies.
    dVector3 ax1, ax2;
    getAxes( ax1, ax2 );
    dReal val = dCalcVectorDot3( ax1, ax2 );
    q[0] = ax2[0] - val * ax1[0];
    q[1] = ax2[1] - val * ax1[1];
    q[2] = ax2[2] - val * ax1[2];

    dVector3 p;
    dCalcVectorCross3( p, ax1, q );
    dNormalize3( p );

    //   info->J1a[s0+i] = p[i];
    dCopyVector3(( info->J1a ) + s0, p );

    if ( node[1].body )
    {
        //   info->J2a[s0+i] = -p[i];
        dCopyNegatedVector3(( info->J2a ) + s0, p );
    }

    // compute the right hand side of the constraint equation. Set relative
    // body velocities along p to bring the axes back to perpendicular.
    // If ax1, ax2 are unit length joint axes as computed from body1 and
    // body2, we need to rotate both bodies along the axis p.  If theta
    // is the angle between ax1 and ax2, we need an angular velocity
    // along p to cover the angle erp * (theta - Pi/2) in one step:
    //
    //   |angular_velocity| = angle/time = erp*(theta - Pi/2) / stepsize
    //                      = (erp*fps) * (theta - Pi/2)
    //
    // if theta is close to Pi/2,
    // theta - Pi/2 ~= cos(theta), so
    //    |angular_velocity|  ~= (erp*fps) * (ax1 dot ax2)

    info->c[0] = k * - val;

    // ==========================================================================
    // Work on the linear part (i.e rows 1 and 2)
    //
    // We want: vel2 = vel1 + w1 x c ... but this would
    // result in three equations, so we project along the planespace vectors
    // so that sliding along the axisP is disregarded.
    //
    // p1 + R1 dist' = p2 + R2 anchor2'
    // v1 + w1 x R1 dist' + v_p = v2 + w2 x R2 anchor2'
    // v_p is speed of prismatic joint (i.e. elongation rate)
    // Since the constraints are perpendicular to v_p we have:
    // e1 dot v_p = 0 and e2 dot v_p = 0
    // e1 dot ( v1 + w1 x dist = v2 + w2 x anchor2 )
    // e2 dot ( v1 + w1 x dist = v2 + w2 x anchor2 )
    // ==
    // e1 . v1 + e1 . w1 x dist = e1 . v2 + e1 . w2 x anchor2
    // since a . (b x c) = - b . (a x c) = - (a x c) . b
    // and a x b = - b x a
    // e1 . v1 - e1 x dist . w1 - e1 . v2 - (- e1 x anchor2 . w2) = 0
    // e1 . v1 + dist x e1 . w1 - e1 . v2 - anchor2 x e1 . w2 = 0
    // Coeff for 1er line of: J1l => e1, J2l => -e1
    // Coeff for 2er line of: J1l => e2, J2l => -ax2
    // Coeff for 1er line of: J1a => dist x e1, J2a => - anchor2 x e1
    // Coeff for 2er line of: J1a => dist x e2, J2a => - anchor2 x e2
    // e1 and e2 are perpendicular to axP
    // so e1 = ax1 and e2 = ax1 x axP
    // N.B. ax2 is not always perpendicular to axP since it is attached to body 2
    dCalcVectorCross3( q , ax1, axP );

    dMultiply0_331( axP, R1, axisP1 );

    dCalcVectorCross3(( info->J1a ) + s1, dist, ax1 );
    dCalcVectorCross3(( info->J1a ) + s2, dist, q );

    // info->J1l[s1+i] = ax[i];
    dCopyVector3(( info->J1l ) + s1, ax1 );

    // info->J1l[s2+i] = q[i];
    dCopyVector3(( info->J1l ) + s2, q );

    if ( node[1].body )
    {
        // Calculate anchor2 in world coordinate

        // q x anchor2 instead of anchor2 x q since we want the negative value
        dCalcVectorCross3(( info->J2a ) + s1, ax1, wanchor2 );
        // The cross product is in reverse order since we want the negative value
        dCalcVectorCross3(( info->J2a ) + s2, q, wanchor2 );

        // info->J2l[s1+i] = -ax1[i];
        dCopyNegatedVector3(( info->J2l ) + s1, ax1 );
        // info->J2l[s2+i] = -ax1[i];
        dCopyNegatedVector3(( info->J2l ) + s2, q );

    }

    // We want to make correction for motion not in the line of the axisP
    // We calculate the displacement w.r.t. the anchor pt.
    //
    // compute the elements 1 and 2 of right hand side.
    // We want to align the offset point (in body 2's frame) with the center of body 1.
    // The position should be the same when we are not along the prismatic axis
    dVector3 err;
    dMultiply0_331( err, R1, anchor1 );
    // err[i] = dist[i] - err[i];
    dSubtractVectors3( err, dist, err );
    info->c[1] = k * dCalcVectorDot3( ax1, err );
    info->c[2] = k * dCalcVectorDot3( q, err );

    int row = 3 + limot1.addLimot( this, info, 3, ax1, 1 );
    row += limot2.addLimot( this, info, row, ax2, 1 );

    if (  node[1].body || !(flags & dJOINT_REVERSE) )
        limotP.addLimot( this, info, row, axP, 0 );
    else
    {
        axP[0] = -axP[0];
        axP[1] = -axP[1];
        axP[2] = -axP[2];
        limotP.addLimot ( this, info, row, axP, 0 );
    }
}

void dJointSetPUAnchor( dJointID j, dReal x, dReal y, dReal z )
{
    dxJointPU* joint = ( dxJointPU* ) j;
    dUASSERT( joint, "bad joint argument" );
    checktype( joint, PU );
    setAnchors( joint, x, y, z, joint->anchor1, joint->anchor2 );
    joint->computeInitialRelativeRotations();
}

/**
 * This function initialize the anchor and the relative position of each body
 * as if body2 was at its current position + [dx,dy,dy].
 * Ex:
 *

 * dReal offset = 1;
 * dVector3 dir;
 * dJointGetPUAxis3(jId, dir);
 * dJointSetPUAnchor(jId, 0, 0, 0);
 * // If you request the position you will have: dJointGetPUPosition(jId) == 0
 * dJointSetPUAnchorDelta(jId, 0, 0, 0, dir[X]*offset, dir[Y]*offset, dir[Z]*offset);
 * // If you request the position you will have: dJointGetPUPosition(jId) == -offset
 *

 * @param j The PU joint for which the anchor point will be set
 * @param x The X position of the anchor point in world frame
 * @param y The Y position of the anchor point in world frame
 * @param z The Z position of the anchor point in world frame
 * @param dx A delta to be added to the X position as if the anchor was set
 *           when body1 was at current_position[X] + dx
 * @param dx A delta to be added to the Y position as if the anchor was set
 *           when body1 was at current_position[Y] + dy
 * @param dx A delta to be added to the Z position as if the anchor was set
 *           when body1 was at current_position[Z] + dz
 * @note Should have the same meaning as dJointSetSliderAxisDelta
 */
void dJointSetPUAnchorDelta( dJointID j, dReal x, dReal y, dReal z,
                             dReal dx, dReal dy, dReal dz )
{
    dxJointPU* joint = ( dxJointPU* ) j;
    dUASSERT( joint, "bad joint argument" );
    checktype( joint, PU );

    if ( joint->node[0].body )
    {
        joint->node[0].body->posr.pos[0] += dx;
        joint->node[0].body->posr.pos[1] += dy;
        joint->node[0].body->posr.pos[2] += dz;
    }

    setAnchors( joint, x, y, z, joint->anchor1, joint->anchor2 );

    if ( joint->node[0].body )
    {
        joint->node[0].body->posr.pos[0] -= dx;
        joint->node[0].body->posr.pos[1] -= dy;
        joint->node[0].body->posr.pos[2] -= dz;
    }

    joint->computeInitialRelativeRotations();
}

/**
 * \brief This function initialize the anchor and the relative position of each body
 * such that dJointGetPUPosition will return the dot product of axis and [dx,dy,dy].
 *
 * The body 1 is moved to [-dx, -dy, -dx] then the anchor is set. This will be the
 * position 0 for the prismatic part of the joint. Then the body 1 is moved to its
 * original position.
 *
 * Ex:
 *

 * dReal offset = 1;
 * dVector3 dir;
 * dJointGetPUAxis3(jId, dir);
 * dJointSetPUAnchor(jId, 0, 0, 0);
 * // If you request the position you will have: dJointGetPUPosition(jId) == 0
 * dJointSetPUAnchorDelta(jId, 0, 0, 0, dir[X]*offset, dir[Y]*offset, dir[Z]*offset);
 * // If you request the position you will have: dJointGetPUPosition(jId) == offset
 *

 * @param j The PU joint for which the anchor point will be set
 * @param x The X position of the anchor point in world frame
 * @param y The Y position of the anchor point in world frame
 * @param z The Z position of the anchor point in world frame
 * @param dx A delta to be added to the X position as if the anchor was set
 *           when body1 was at current_position[X] + dx
 * @param dx A delta to be added to the Y position as if the anchor was set
 *           when body1 was at current_position[Y] + dy
 * @param dx A delta to be added to the Z position as if the anchor was set
 *           when body1 was at current_position[Z] + dz
 * @note Should have the same meaning as dJointSetSliderAxisDelta
 */
void dJointSetPUAnchorOffset( dJointID j, dReal x, dReal y, dReal z,
                              dReal dx, dReal dy, dReal dz )
{
    dxJointPU* joint = ( dxJointPU* ) j;
    dUASSERT( joint, "bad joint argument" );
    checktype( joint, PU );

    if (joint->flags & dJOINT_REVERSE)
    {
        dx = -dx;
        dy = -dy;
        dz = -dz;
    }

    if ( joint->node[0].body )
    {
        joint->node[0].body->posr.pos[0] -= dx;
        joint->node[0].body->posr.pos[1] -= dy;
        joint->node[0].body->posr.pos[2] -= dz;
    }

    setAnchors( joint, x, y, z, joint->anchor1, joint->anchor2 );

    if ( joint->node[0].body )
    {
        joint->node[0].body->posr.pos[0] += dx;
        joint->node[0].body->posr.pos[1] += dy;
        joint->node[0].body->posr.pos[2] += dz;
    }

    joint->computeInitialRelativeRotations();
}

void dJointSetPUAxis1( dJointID j, dReal x, dReal y, dReal z )
{
    dxJointPU* joint = ( dxJointPU* ) j;
    dUASSERT( joint, "bad joint argument" );
    checktype( joint, PU );
    if ( joint->flags & dJOINT_REVERSE )
        setAxes( joint, x, y, z, NULL, joint->axis2 );
    else
        setAxes( joint, x, y, z, joint->axis1, NULL );
    joint->computeInitialRelativeRotations();
}

void dJointSetPUAxis2( dJointID j, dReal x, dReal y, dReal z )
{
    dxJointPU* joint = ( dxJointPU* ) j;
    dUASSERT( joint, "bad joint argument" );
    checktype( joint, PU );
    if ( joint->flags & dJOINT_REVERSE )
        setAxes( joint, x, y, z, joint->axis1, NULL );
    else
        setAxes( joint, x, y, z, NULL, joint->axis2 );
    joint->computeInitialRelativeRotations();
}

void dJointSetPUAxisP( dJointID id, dReal x, dReal y, dReal z )
{
    dJointSetPUAxis3( id, x, y, z );
}

void dJointSetPUAxis3( dJointID j, dReal x, dReal y, dReal z )
{
    dxJointPU* joint = ( dxJointPU* ) j;
    dUASSERT( joint, "bad joint argument" );
    checktype( joint, PU );

    setAxes( joint, x, y, z, joint->axisP1, 0 );

    joint->computeInitialRelativeRotations();
}

void dJointGetPUAngles( dJointID j, dReal *angle1, dReal *angle2 )
{
    dxJointUniversal* joint = ( dxJointUniversal* ) j;
    dUASSERT( joint, "bad joint argument" );
    checktype( joint, PU );
    if ( joint->flags & dJOINT_REVERSE )
        joint->getAngles( angle2, angle1 );
    else
        joint->getAngles( angle1, angle2 );
}

dReal dJointGetPUAngle1( dJointID j )
{
    dxJointUniversal* joint = ( dxJointUniversal* ) j;
    dUASSERT( joint, "bad joint argument" );
    checktype( joint, PU );
    if ( joint->flags & dJOINT_REVERSE )
        return joint->getAngle2();
    else
        return joint->getAngle1();
}

dReal dJointGetPUAngle2( dJointID j )
{
    dxJointUniversal* joint = ( dxJointUniversal* ) j;
    dUASSERT( joint, "bad joint argument" );
    checktype( joint, PU );
    if ( joint->flags & dJOINT_REVERSE )
        return joint->getAngle1();
    else
        return joint->getAngle2();
}

dReal dJointGetPUAngle1Rate( dJointID j )
{
    dxJointPU* joint = ( dxJointPU* ) j;
    dUASSERT( joint, "bad joint argument" );
    checktype( joint, PU );

    if ( joint->node[0].body )
    {
        dVector3 axis;

        if ( joint->flags & dJOINT_REVERSE )
            getAxis2( joint, axis, joint->axis2 );
        else
            getAxis( joint, axis, joint->axis1 );

        dReal rate = dCalcVectorDot3( axis, joint->node[0].body->avel );
        if ( joint->node[1].body ) rate -= dCalcVectorDot3( axis, joint->node[1].body->avel );
        return rate;
    }
    return 0;
}

dReal dJointGetPUAngle2Rate( dJointID j )
{
    dxJointPU* joint = ( dxJointPU* ) j;
    dUASSERT( joint, "bad joint argument" );
    checktype( joint, PU );

    if ( joint->node[0].body )
    {
        dVector3 axis;

        if ( joint->flags & dJOINT_REVERSE )
            getAxis( joint, axis, joint->axis1 );
        else
            getAxis2( joint, axis, joint->axis2 );

        dReal rate = dCalcVectorDot3( axis, joint->node[0].body->avel );
        if ( joint->node[1].body ) rate -= dCalcVectorDot3( axis, joint->node[1].body->avel );
        return rate;
    }
    return 0;
}

void dJointSetPUParam( dJointID j, int parameter, dReal value )
{
    dxJointPU* joint = ( dxJointPU* ) j;
    dUASSERT( joint, "bad joint argument" );
    checktype( joint, PU );

    switch ( parameter & 0xff00 )
    {
    case dParamGroup1:
        joint->limot1.set( parameter, value );
        break;
    case dParamGroup2:
        joint->limot2.set( parameter & 0xff, value );
        break;
    case dParamGroup3:
        joint->limotP.set( parameter & 0xff, value );
        break;
    default:
        break;
    }
}

void dJointGetPUAnchor( dJointID j, dVector3 result )
{
    dxJointPU* joint = ( dxJointPU* ) j;
    dUASSERT( joint, "bad joint argument" );
    dUASSERT( result, "bad result argument" );
    checktype( joint, PU );

    if ( joint->node[1].body )
        getAnchor2( joint, result, joint->anchor2 );
    else
    {
        // result[i] = joint->anchor2[i];
        dCopyVector3( result, joint->anchor2 );
    }
}

void dJointGetPUAxis1( dJointID j, dVector3 result )
{
    dxJointPU* joint = ( dxJointPU* ) j;
    dUASSERT( joint, "bad joint argument" );
    dUASSERT( result, "bad result argument" );
    checktype( joint, PU );
    if ( joint->flags & dJOINT_REVERSE )
        getAxis2( joint, result, joint->axis2 );
    else
        getAxis( joint, result, joint->axis1 );
}

void dJointGetPUAxis2( dJointID j, dVector3 result )
{
    dxJointPU* joint = ( dxJointPU* ) j;
    dUASSERT( joint, "bad joint argument" );
    dUASSERT( result, "bad result argument" );
    checktype( joint, PU );
    if ( joint->flags & dJOINT_REVERSE )
        getAxis( joint, result, joint->axis1 );
    else
        getAxis2( joint, result, joint->axis2 );
}

/**
 * @brief Get the prismatic axis
 * @ingroup joints
 *
 * @note This function was added for convenience it is the same as
 *       dJointGetPUAxis3
 */
void dJointGetPUAxisP( dJointID id, dVector3 result )
{
    dJointGetPUAxis3( id, result );
}

void dJointGetPUAxis3( dJointID j, dVector3 result )
{
    dxJointPU* joint = ( dxJointPU* ) j;
    dUASSERT( joint, "bad joint argument" );
    dUASSERT( result, "bad result argument" );
    checktype( joint, PU );
    getAxis( joint, result, joint->axisP1 );
}

dReal dJointGetPUParam( dJointID j, int parameter )
{
    dxJointPU* joint = ( dxJointPU* ) j;
    dUASSERT( joint, "bad joint argument" );
    checktype( joint, PU );

    switch ( parameter & 0xff00 )
    {
    case dParamGroup1:
        return joint->limot1.get( parameter );
        break;
    case dParamGroup2:
        return joint->limot2.get( parameter & 0xff );
        break;
    case dParamGroup3:
        return joint->limotP.get( parameter & 0xff );
        break;
    default:
        break;
    }

    return 0;
}

dJointType
dxJointPU::type() const
{
    return dJointTypePU;
}

size_t
dxJointPU::size() const
{
    return sizeof( *this );
}

void
dxJointPU::setRelativeValues()
{
    dVector3 anchor;
    dJointGetPUAnchor(this, anchor);
    setAnchors( this, anchor[0], anchor[1], anchor[2], anchor1, anchor2 );

    dVector3 ax1, ax2, ax3;
    dJointGetPUAxis1(this, ax1);
    dJointGetPUAxis2(this, ax2);
    dJointGetPUAxis3(this, ax3);

    if ( flags & dJOINT_REVERSE )
    {
        setAxes( this, ax1[0], ax1[1], ax1[2], NULL, axis2 );
        setAxes( this, ax2[0], ax2[1], ax2[2], axis1, NULL );
    }
    else
    {
        setAxes( this, ax1[0], ax1[1], ax1[2], axis1, NULL );
        setAxes( this, ax2[0], ax2[1], ax2[2], NULL, axis2 );
    }

    setAxes( this, ax3[0], ax3[1], ax3[2], NULL, axisP1 );

    computeInitialRelativeRotations();
}

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub


text:
Breaking & Current Events
Politics & Legislation
Gun Giveaways
Thunder BRRRRRT Giveaway
Ultimate Off The Grid Giveaway
GAT Daily (Guns Ammo Tactical)
Rx for Firearms Freedom, GRPC 2020: Przebinda on Gun Control's Assault on Public Health
DRGO
From our friends at DRGO
[Ed: Today we begin sharing the talks that members of the DRGO team gave September 20 online for the Second Amendment Foundation's 35th annual Gun Rights Policy Conference. Dr. Przebinda, our Project Director, kicks it off. See each of our talks on the DRGO YouTube channel or at 2:17:23 here. The entire schedule of talks is here, divided into 4 parts on the SAF channel.]
My name is Arthur Przebinda and I'm the Project Director for Doctors for Responsible Gun Ownership.
I'm pleased to have the opportunity to speak to you in these strange and strained times. We are less than two months from the presidential election and tensions in our country are not easing.
The Biden campaign has indicated on its website that they plan to "…call for Congress to appropriate $50 million to accelerate … research [into the causes and prevention of gun violence] at the CDC and NIH".
The Biden website itemizes a Christmas wish list of gun control.
It is clear that a Biden administration would use "public heath" as a line of attack on the Second Amendment.
DRGO's primary focus is countering this historically demonstrated disingenuous advocacy research masquerading as a pursuit of public health and safety.
Today, Dr. Young will summarize this past year's anti-gun research. Dr Petrocelli will focus in on the most insidious implementation of "public health" line of attack: red flag laws.
For my part, I want to address a more nebulous tactic used by opponents of the right to keep and bear arms.
For some time now, we've heard the argument that "there is no place for "weapons of war" on American streets".
Aside of historical record to the contrary, the truth is that the Second Amendment protects "weapons of war". Because the Second Amendment IS about war.
Its primary intent has nothing to do with putting meat on the table or rape prevention, although personal safety and food procurement are the most frequent benefits of the free exercise of the right to keep and bear.
The Second Amendment is the essence of and the safeguard of liberty.
A truly free country cannot exist unless the populace has the means to keep in check and counter the government's ambitions. And the ultimate form of that check is a parity of force.
THAT is what 2A is about. It's our ultimate "f—, no!".
When one comes to that that realization, "gun control" is revealed not as the pursuit of public safety but as a usurpation of the ultimate political power of a free people.
The gun rights community ought not shy away from making this point. It appeals to both ends of the political spectrum.
At every opportunity, then, we should emphasize that the Second Amendment:
Provides as the ability to defend our country
Serves as an ultimate political check a people have over their government
And as such, it is a CIVIL AND POLITICAL right
ANY attempts to curtail or abridge the exercise of that right is not just a civil rights violation, but it is a strike at the fundamental balance of power upon which our country was founded.
I am not eager nor cavalier about using this very potent political power. Restraint should be the guiding principle. We speak of defensive gun use in the face of aggression as the only morally legitimate use of guns. Similarly, any armed opposition to government tyranny is a last resort – after the vote and the courts fail to restore freedom.
Nobody listening or watching this should misconstrue what I'm saying as a legitimization of or an exhortation to violence of any kind, for any cause.
I AM saying that depriving the people who elected you of their ability to reign in your ambitions is not governing. It's subjugation.
— Dr. Przebinda is an imaging specialist in Southern California. He advocates for the Second Amendment in his state and nationally and since 2017 serves as DRGO's Project Director.
All DRGO articles by Arthur Z. Przebinda, MD
http://drgo.us
Doctors for Responsible Gun Ownership (DRGO) is a project launched in 1994 in response to a coordinated public health campaign against gun rights. DRGO is now a nationwide network of physicians, allied health professionals, scientists, and others who support the safe and lawful use of firearms. DRGO's members include experts in public health, firearm technology, gun safety education, and tactical medicine.
An American Tale: The NRA Goes West
3 Ways to Get Kids Shooting
Why I Got the Vaccine
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redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


I think that boss battles are awesome. For that, I created... The boss Jam!!!! You can submit your boss battle here!!
You must submit one (or more) boss battles for paticipatng.
You can make more than one boss battle for game.
Game starts 24th June and ends 31th July. Voting ends 7th August.
Play as a Genie in a quest to be the strongest Genie in the UNIVERSE !


text:
Sound+Image mag
Never mind – 2013 is an OEL New Year. Hopefully...
By Andrew Everard published 27 December 12
The Korean giants' race to be first in the shops with superthin organic electroluminescent TVs seems to be slowing – which means there might even be some chance for the big Japanese names to catch up. Or just ever-thinner TVs fighting over ever-slimmer pickings...
As revelations go, the one from Japan's Nikkei earlier this week wasn't exactly a biggie. With a week to go until the end of 2012, and not a sniff of next-generation TVs in the shops, the prediction that 'South Korea's two major television makers are unlikely to release organic electroluminescent TVs by year-end as they had planned' looks like something of a safe bet.
And reading between the lines, there was just the slightest hint of glee in the report that while Samsung showed its 55in OEL TV (above) at CES 2012 almost a year ago – we're only a couple of weeks off the 2013 show – it has struggled to make the display panels reliably enough to make them viable.
That means its absolutely definite plans to sell the TVs before the end of this year, announced back in May, have been put on hold. Again.
Just as we reported back in October.
Trouble is, like most new technologies, OEL – as we seem to be calling it this week, though you may know it as OLED – is proving a bit tricky to scale up from prototype or test-production runs to full industrial scale.
The technology may be tempting, with its superthin screens and supersharp resolution and contrast thanks to its self-illuminating technology – unlike LCD screens, which need some form of backlighting, usually from LEDs these days – , and lower power consumption.
But it's proving hard to get sufficient yield in manufacturing to make the TVs profitable.
In other words, they're having to throw away too many substandard screens, and that makes every display passing muster pricey to produce, with 'sources close to the matter' telling the Nikkei that had Samsung gone ahead and launched OEL TVs in the last quarter of this year, it would have lost money on every set sold.
As a result, sales are now slated for the first three months of 2013. Hopefully.
Samsung 2022 TV line-up: everything you need to know
Nokia is launching a range of entry-level QLED TVs
Xbox Series X restock news: where to buy an Xbox Series X console in 2022
Best music streamers 2022: upgrade to a wireless system
Best speaker stands 2022: budget and premium
Best cartridges 2022: budget and premium options for your turntable
Best Alexa speakers 2022: the best Alexa-enabled smart speakers
What Hi-Fi? is part of Future plc, an international media group and leading digital publisher. Visit our corporate site.


Sir Christopher Zeeman, FRS, passed away peacefully in his sleep on Saturday 13th February 2016 at home in Woodstock, Oxfordshire, aged 91. Sir Christopher was the Founding Professor of Mathematics at the University of Warwick. Sir Christopher's contributions to mathematics range from geometric topology to dynamical systems, with applications across the sciences. He is known among the wider scientific public for his contribution to, and spreading awareness of Catastrophe Theory.


Sachi Machlachlan came on to the project when Beto Vargas left for MTV Iggy. Within two sessions she brought her infectious energy and talent to the Orchard Sessions future. Sachi feels like a sister to me; a creative and emotional kindred spirit. I am immensely fortunate to know and work with her. She is special special special.


Multiple Nights, Multiple Venues, with over 20 Showcases!
Get into all showcases for one LOW PRICE!
Your CCFF 2018 ALL ACCESS PASS is good for ALL SHOWCASES that the festival offers ALL WEEKEND!
This is your best option so you can be sure not to miss a single show. Most showcases are $5 (or more) at the door… so at this price you can't beat it, otherwise you'd be paying $100 or more to see every showcase.
NOTE: These are virtual passes, you will not be receiving actual passes. Please print out your passes receipt and bring it with ID to Will Call at the Fringe Pop Up Theater.


text:
Wire Stories > Corporate Knights	> Maurice Strong, Galen G Weston... > You Are Here
Maurice Strong, Galen G Weston, Mayor Miller, Elizabeth May to speak at pre-G-20 sustainability summit
Monday, June 21st 2010 10:52:05am
Attention: Business/environment/general editors
Maurice Strong, Galen. G Weston, Mayor Miller, Elizabeth May to speak at pre-G-20 sustainability summit
TORONTO, Monday, June 21, 2010 - Corporate Knights and the International Institute for Sustainable Development will host Our Common Future 2.0 on Monday at the Design Exchange. It will be chaired by Maurice Strong to tackle the question of what it will take to reconcile the environment and the economy. Key speakers include co-founders of the sustainable development movement (Jim MacNeill, Maurice Strong, David Runnalls), politicians (Mayor David Miller, George Smitherman, Elizabeth May), and executives (Galen G. Weston, and Kathy Bardswick).
The Pre-G20 discussion will identify the key priorities for the G-20 to usher in an era of sustainable development, based on new measurements of progress and decision making at the head of government and corporation level.
Our Common Future 2.0 Pre-G20 Summit
Monday June 21, 2010, 8.30 am to 1.30pm
Design Exchange, 234 Bay Street, Toronto
For more information, to confirm your attendance or to arrange interviews, please call: Toby A. A. Heaps, 1-403-869-1964
About Corporate Knights: Founded in 2002, Corporate Knights Inc. is an independent Canadian based media company that publishes the magazine for clean capitalism. The mission of Corporate Knights is to humanize the marketplace.
About IISD: 2010 marks the 20th anniversary of the International Institute for Sustainable Development (IISD) - a Canadian-based, policy research institute that has a long history of conducting cutting-edge research into sustainable development.
More By Corporate Knights


Review: Your Love Never Fails is the story of Laura (Elisa Donovan), a working mother who just wants to spend more time with her daughter Kelsey, 9. Unfortunately, her demanding boss Paul (Fred Willard) has other ideas. When Kelsey's father, Dylan (Brad Rowe) files for joint custody, Laura is forced to take Kelsey to Texas, where she confronts the lifestyle, church and father (Tom Skerritt) that she left behind. With the help of the local church Pastor, Frank (John Schneider), Laura and Dylan will find their way back to the commitment they made to each other and to Kelsey.


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text:
Peter Kerry Powers
Home of "Read, Write, Now: All things reading and writing"
Goodbye Christ?
Recalling Religions
Tag Archives: death
Paul Kalanithi: When Breath Becomes Air
My friend and colleague, Devin Manzullo-Thomas, warned me that he broke down weeping on a Chicago subway as he finished the book, to the consternation of his fellow passengers. I found it easier to weep discretely in a Barnes and Nobles cafe. As one might guess with a book that opens with the discovery of a young and hopeful and brilliant doctor at the beginning of his career that he has what by all accounts is an incurable cancer, death awaits. And awaits relentlessly. But the knowledge that the book ends in our common human destiny does little to steel the reader for the way the heart breaks against the stony shores of that certainty. We are not given the witness of his death; no autobiography could do that. But we are given the witness of his dying and are included in that process, one that is by turns, noble and wretched and then, in some sense, ennobling of the author, of those around him, and perhaps even of us as readers.
While focused on death, the book is not morbid. If it ends in tears, it is not even really depressing in any meaningful sense of that word. What we are given is the striving after understanding, and the effort to make meaning out of experience with the only tools we have been given to do it, through our language. The book is fascinating for its testimony to the difficulties of the life of the mind and the body, to the agonies of both surgery and uncertainty. Kalanithi began as a devotee of language and discusses his turn away from the study of literature and what might loosely be described as "the mind" and towards the study of the brain and the body in the attempt to understand more completely the physical mechanism by which, after all, we come to speak and conceive of ourselves as having something called a soul or a mind. Kalanithi does not go deeply enough into this transition away from literature and language for my personal taste, though he offers the throwaway line that he thought the study of literature had become too embroiled in the study of politics and was not leading him into the study of meaning. However, he also seems to think that the study of literature is too divorced from the world of action, of doing something in the world that makes a difference, a difference he thought he could make in the healing professions. Kalanithi's book is not about a theory of literature, but if it were I would want to argue with him more forcefully here. There is, after all, nothing more thoroughly politicized in our day and age than the practice of medicine, though his book does not seem to take up the question of who gets to be there to have a chance at healing at a first rate medical center and why that might be. I might want to argue as well, as I have at other times, that the embrace of literature in particular, and of the humanities more broadly–indeed, education per se–is actually one part of the world's healing, though we fail too often to recognize it as such. As Milton suggested, the purpose of education is to repair the ruin of our first parents (and perhaps the ruin of our own parents, and of ourselves, I might add).
But these are not the main points of Kalanithi's book. He manages to make the beauty and power of the study of science, and especially the study of medicine real and persuasive. More broadly he shows convincingly that a life of intense study is a life worth living, that the life of the mind matters, even if that point is made more poignant by the fact that that life is cut off by a disease of the body that cannot be studied away and that as of yet remains beyond the realm of human comprehension and control. It is interesting to me that, in the end, Kalanithi returns to literature to make meaning of the death that he cannot, that none of us can, avoid. He makes mention of the fact, of his return to stories about living and dying, stories that tried to make sense of the fact of death. Some of his final memories are of sitting with his infant daughter on his lap, reading to her the words of Eliot's "Waste Land", a fact that might be comical were it not for the fact that it rings true for a father given over to the power of language to give meaning where meaning seems tenuous at best, were it not for the fact that I and other fathers I know in the English major set do or have done precisely the same thing.
Of course, he made his own story in the end. A story, to be sure, that could not have been written without his unimaginably deep engagement with science and medicine. But finally his story lives for us, tells us something about what it means to be human, because it lives for us in words.
This entry was posted in education, Humanities, literature, science, Uncategorized, writing and tagged death, education, Kalanithi, literature, meaning, science, writing on June 18, 2018 by Peter Kerry Powers.
Marie Howe: What the Living Do
Marie Howe
"What the Living Do" manages to give me an unsentimental but still deeply felt picture of the pain of living beyond loss. The immediate occasion for these poems is the death of several friends and family members over what seems, in the context of this books at least, a relatively short period of time. The real focus, however, is not so much on the dying–the psychic and physical pain of disease, the fear of a passage elsewhere–as it is on the poet herself, or at least her personae. These are not elegies then; or at least not elegies to the dead so much as elegies to who we imagine we must have been before the clefts and rifts that the loss of those we love opens in our lives, or perhaps elegies to the selves we imagine we might
What the Living Do
have become. Finally, though, these are poems of hope. I would not call them poems of overcoming. Grief remains, and in some sense we become, as we age, people who remember the dead, in our voices and in our silences. But poems of hope in that they recognize that we do go on. This is what the living do: they go on, carrying with them acts of remembrance such as these.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged AIDS, death, elegy, loss, marie howe, memory, mourning, poetry, Reading, remembrance on August 14, 2011 by Peter Kerry Powers.
Tales of the Toilet; or, W(h)ither Fiction?
A couple of days ago, The Los Angeles Times reported the following
MADISON, Wis. — Two children and their mother lived for about two months with the decaying body of a 90-year-old woman on the toilet of their home's only bathroom, on the advice of a religious "superior" who claimed the corpse would come back to life, authorities said Friday.
===========When Deputy Leigh Neville-Neil …. opened the last closed door, she smelled "decaying matter" and noticed something piled on what appeared to be a toilet. Lewis told her it was Middlesworth's body, the complaint said.
Lewis told the deputy that Middlesworth had died about two months earlier, but that God told her Middlesworth would come to life if she prayed hard enough.
She said she couldn't say anything more until she spoke with her "superior" — Bushey, 57, also known as Bishop John Peter Bushey
She said she propped Middlesworth on the toilet and left the room to call Bushey, who told her to leave the woman alone and pray for her, the complaint said. He said he had received signs that God would raise her from the dead with a miracle.
The story, wretched as it is, reminded me of another tale of the toilet from a couple of months ago in which a horribly obese woman was found to have been living on a toilet in Kansas for two years, having been fed and tended to by her boyfriend as she refused to leave the bathroom. According to EMT reports she had literally grown to the toilet seat, which had to be removed and transported with her to the emergency room.
It's hard to know what is more astonishing to the imagination, a disturbed woman who could not bring herself to move as she felt her body melding with porcelain, or the boyfriend who brought her breakfast every morning as he pleaded with her to leave the bathroom. A kind of prayer, to be sure, though one less literal than those of the woman and her children in Wisconsin. One wonders what neural snyapse firing in the boyfriend's brain finally signaled the end of faith, a loss of hope. Why two years instead of two months? Or why not three years instead of two? What finally says to the self, let's make an end of it. In any case, a synapse firing that had not yet occurred in Wisconsin as a woman watched her mother decay into "something piled on what appeared to be a toilet."
One gapes, shudders, cries, or gags. And, yes, one laughs. Hopelessly, hysterically, apologetically. When you are at the bottom of the human drain, what else is left to do but laugh at horrors that we come to.
I remember my own shuddering sense of horror and delight and sorrow at first reading "A Rose for Emily" and saw in my minds eye the decaying corpse in the bed, imagined Emily there in bed beside her imaginary lover. Or Miss Havisham, Emily's literary avatar, in Dickens Great Expectations. Or the perverse grotesques in O'Connor's fiction–especially Norton, the grieving boy who hangs himself in "The Lame Shall Enter First" in a twisted and in some sense literal leap of faith.
But one looks at this stuff published daily and has to say helplessly that Dickens and O'Connor and Faulkner have nothing on this. Stephen King could do no better in calling up the bizarre extremes of human existence. No wonder contemporary readers have little taste for fiction, and novelists feel compelled to present their fictions as spurious memoir. With a world as it already is beyond all imagining, what role for the writer who wants to imagine what is not.
Of course, I still hold out hope that one role of fiction is to redeem the time. Imagination isn't just an effort to invoke the extreme, but to shape it, to tame it to a tale. I think most contemporary fiction has given up on that part of the task, perhaps disbelieving that the rotting something on a toilet stool that is our material can be wrestled into meaning. Itself a kind of collective loss of faith.
Other toilets in the news:
According to Reuters, "A woman in Germany put an end to her troubled marriage by chopping up her husband and flushing parts of him down the toilet, authorities said on Tuesday. 'You won't find him, I've flushed him down the toilet,' is what she told (her children)." And Hitchcock thought he was imaginative by having a man bury his wife in a Garden?
The airline Jet Blue apparently required a man to sit in the toilet, discovering after takeoff–after takeoff!!–that the flight was ovebooked. The man is suing… because the toilet had no seatbelts and he was bounced around during turbulence. A man who clearly has his priorities in place
Officials in Montgomery Country Maryland have announced a plan to save money by rationing toilet paper for prison inmates. They are using the savings to requisition more body armor in anticipation of the ensuing riots.
Not to be outdone, a family in Manhattan is going without toilet paper for a year in order to be environmentally friendly. They are also going without friends. Not to be outdone, Will Smith proudly points to his new paperless toilets that clean and dry you. I've used a bidet, but I admit that the blow dry effect of Will Smith's Japanese toilets seems just a bit much. Who knew that toilets would be the cutting edge of green awareness.
We can also be glad that some enterprising young fellow has given us the following clever visual instructions for toilet usage. (Is it just me or do some of these look like positions from the Kama Sutra).
Aspiring MFA students take note, I see the makings a collection of short stories here. That they are all factual and more imaginative than anything you could dream up on your own should not stop you. There is still no law against writing the world as it is as if you came up with it on your own.
A final news note: Computer Keyboards can be dirtier than toilets.
On that note, I think I'll go wash my hands. If I'm gone for two years, please come check on me.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged death, Dickens, Faulkner, fiction, literature, O'Connor, Reading, Stephen King, toilets on May 15, 2008 by Peter Kerry Powers.
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