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Tag Archives: Up The Creek
Apr 15, 2019 · 11:35 am
Ian Cognito's Facebook photo – presumably how he would like to be remembered
In the previous blog here, Becky Fury remembered Ian Cognito, who died while performing on stage last week.
Now fellow comedian Eric (Just Eric) adds his own tribute…
When I saw the headline BRITISH COMEDIAN DIES ONSTAGE, I thought: Oh, that will be Cogs…
Then, when I saw the full story, I was devastated to see that, tragically, my instinct was correct.
Like Malcolm Hardee before him, probably no-one ever expected to read the words "After a long battle with illness, he passed away peacefully in his sleep."
Cogs just wasn't that kind of guy.
He died as he lived, in the spotlight, commanding full attention, with no-one quite believing what they were witnessing.
We all have our own memories of Cogs and bizarrely I have enjoyed reading the stories that others have shared of this marvellous mischievous maverick.
I first met Ian Cognito at Malcolm Hardee's Up the Creek comedy club when, as he passed my table en route to the stage, he scooped up my pint and drank it while headlining the night.
The Greenwich club was a renowned bear pit and it wasn't long before he got his first heckle. Whenever this happens, it is the stock-in-trade of the comedian to deliver smart-put downs in response and the more cutting they are the better; and Cogs could cut anyone to the quick. But Cogs didn't just embarrass his detractors: he went further, much further. He would intimidate them.
So, climbing across the seats in the direction of the hapless heckler and standing astride the back of the chairs either side of him, Cogs delivered his withering repost, while towering over the now cowering heckler. Not surprisingly, it was the only heckle that he received that night.
Given what I had just witnessed from his awesome onstage persona, I did consider saying nothing and just getting myself another beer. But, with what I now realise was a somewhat foolhardy and reckless regard for the 'perceived' risk to my personal safety, I summoned up all my courage and, after the show, I challenged him about drinking my pint.
I was then astonished to find him most apologetic. He had just made an honest mistake, confusing my Guinness for his own, which he then realised he had absent-mindedly left on the bar.
So he bought me a replacement and, with a mutual love of the black stuff and comedy in common, it was the start of a friendship I could never have expected. Over the next few years, I did numerous gigs with this comedic whirlwind, who would proudly announce to audiences that he had been banned from more comedy clubs than any other comic.
But that brash onstage (and sometimes offstage) persona belied the sensitive, caring, supportive soul which lay beneath.
I should imagine that anyone who ever had the privilege of being invited to his home will have the memory of that visit etched on their memory forever.
I certainly remember my first visit. Pulling up in a layby in the middle of nowhere, thinking: Why on earth would he want me to meet him here? Only to find Cogs suddenly emerging from a bush and extending an invitation to climb over a crash barrier and down a bank. Where, only a few yards from the busy highway, a boat is moored on a slow-flowing river in an unfeasibly serene spot.
In my experience the standard invitation would include a meal, which Cogs would cook in his galley while his guests sat on the bank enjoying the unexpected calm after the long drive from London.
Then, over lunch, we were treated to a side of this quiet, reflective, thoughtful man that his audiences would probably never get to see.
Then, it seems, no-one would be allowed to leave, without first choosing a book from his shed to take with them. I remember choosing The Book of Shit Towns.
Then it would be back into the car and on to the gig, where it was sometimes difficult to reconcile that the astonishing and aggressive performance the audience and fellow performers alike were treated to that evening was delivered by the same man who had humbly dished-up the pasta a shortly before, while sharing stories about his children.
When I first visited Paul (his real name was Paul Barbieri) and discovered that he lived on a boat, he said: "It's the most interesting thing about me."
Which is patently untrue.
No, it isn't, Cogs, YOU are the most interesting thing about you!
Some things I know. Some things I will never know.
One thing I do know is that the world of comedy has just become a far less interesting place without you…
We have lost another shining light from our world.
What is it that is said about the flame that burns brightly…?
RIP mate.
Tagged as anarchic, comedy, death, Eric Just Eric, Ian Cognito, Malcolm hardee, Up The Creek
The art and psychology of heckling comics and throwing objects at them
Malcolm Hardee – known for running notorious comedy clubs
Exactly 14 years ago tonight, comedian Malcolm Hardee drowned in Greenland Dock in the Rotherhithe peninsula, London.
He maintained his principles, even in death.
When his body was raised from the dock several days later, he was still clutching a bottle of beer.
Malcolm was famed for spotting and helping talented comedians at the start of their careers. He was also known for running and hosting the Tunnel Palladium club night – a Sunday evening show with good professional acts but also an 'open spot' section so dangerous for new acts to perform in that aspiring comics would sometimes travel hundreds of miles to see if they could survive an audience known and feared for its razor-sharp heckling.
After the club was raided and closed by the police for drugs offences (NOT on one of Malcolm's nights – he only did Sundays) he opened Up The Creek comedy club in Greenwich where, initially, the hecklers continued their trade.
Here, I chat to one of the Tunnel's most effective hecklers – Gordon 'Bres' Breslin.
Gordon Breslin – a taste for heckling
JOHN: You got a taste for heckling at the Tunnel club…
BRES: Well, before that, me and a friend used to go to Speaker's Corner on a Sunday afternoon and absorb some of the heckling of speakers that was going on. I remember heckling the Reverend Donald Soper on occasion, when he was preaching there. That's where we cut out teeth.
JOHN: Did Lord Soper take it well?
BRES: He did indeed. He was a very nice gentleman. After that, though, we discovered the Tunnel club.
JOHN: You were regulars.
BRES: Yes. And the heckling was quite good fun. To start with, it was limited to the open mic spots.
JOHN: But all heckling is surely cruel and nasty.
BRES: Sometimes it is cruel and nasty but sometimes an act just needs to go if they're not very good.
JOHN: But these poor, sensitive people have spent months refining their act…
BRES: Well, being heckled is how they know it needs more refining. If an act is really bad, something should be done apart from walking out. I think audiences have become too tolerant of bad acts these days. Back in the Tunnel days, it could be quite rude – "Get off! You're shit!" This was 1984 to 1989.
But word got out about the heckling there and it got progressively more ermmm… 'aggressive' I guess is the word.
JOHN: Well, I guess throwing beer glasses at the acts is aggressive.
BRES: Yes, but people like Simon Munnery were cutting their teeth there and he didn't mind a bit of heckling. There used to be a very good heckler at The Tunnel called The Pirate…
JOHN: I think Malcolm told me The Pirate was a stockbroker who retired early to Spain with lots of money.
Mike Myers (left) and Neil Mullarkey perform at Malcolm Hardee's Tunnel club in 1986 (Photograph by Bill Alford)
BRES: His great one was… A comic would make his best joke of the night and The Pirate's voice would be heard saying "Oh larf… Oh larf… Oh larf," which would just floor the comedian. Some of the heckling was very very funny.
JOHN: And the best heckles are…?
BRES: I think the art of the heckle is… A heckler wants to make a funny gag and make the audience laugh and perhaps even get the biggest laugh of the night and – not necessarily make the comic feel small, but – make the comic appreciate the heckler's one one-liner as well.
JOHN: Surely it is just solely to make the comic feel small.
BRES: Well, in a way. But the comic has the right of reply, so he can make the heckler feel even smaller. A lot of people don't want to sit in the front rows because they don't want to be picked-on by the comic. Let's get it into perspective. For me comedians, if they are any good, will always pick on the front row. So they have more than ample opportunity to get their retaliation in first.
JOHN: So heckling is the audience picking on the comedian, not the comedian picking on the audience.
BRES: Exactly. That's the one. As long as it's fair and just. At The Tunnel, some of the comedians would come on looking nervous and, before they'd even said a word, the first thing shouted out was: "Maaallcolm!!!" Then someone else would take up the cry: "Maaallcolm!!!" Then the whole audience would end up shouting "Maaallcolm!!!" and, before the comedian had even said a word, it was not unknown for the act to walk off without even doing a joke.
JOHN: And the audience would sometimes call out for a taxi…
BRES: Yes. "Cab for (the comedian's name)!" Those were the regular heckles. But then it got a bit overtaken by… Well, a bit violent, I should say – Throwing things and it… it got… erm… too bad. There was an incident where Clarence & Joy Pickles (Adam Wide & Babs Sutton)… I think it was a beer crate or something like that was thrown at them – something quite chunky…
JOHN: Malcolm told me he wasn't the compere that night. I think he was maybe at the Edinburgh Fringe.
Malcolm made a mistake in giving a copy of this letter to each member of the Tunnel club audience
BRES: I think she sustained a cut – Joy Pickles. So, the following week, there was a letter to the audience from Tunnel Arts – which was Malcolm – asking all members of the audience to "refrain from throwing anything at the stage… The Tunnel Club is noted for its witty heckling and appreciation of a good act. Let's not spoil it by behaving as animals. It is coming to a point where a lot of good acts are thinking twice about performing here (quite rightly so) and this means that your enjoyment will be impaired."
A copy of this letter was put on every seat in the Tunnel club and, of course, when Malcolm came on stage, he got bombarded by people throwing screwed-up letters and paper aeroplanes at him. So the letter became a surreal heckle.
JOHN: My memory is that, sometimes, they didn't just throw beer glasses at the acts; they sometimes threw half-full glasses so there was beer all over the place too.
BRES: Well, it was probably quite watered-down beer.
JOHN: The heckling-off of acts was quite effective.
BRES: Yes. Sometimes self-defeating. Sometimes you might have seven or eight acts and the show would be over in half an hour because everyone had been heckled off – sometimes even the good ones.
Jools Holland (left) with Malcolm Hardee at the Tunnel club in 1985 (Photo by Bill Alford)
JOHN: Malcolm told me that, after the trouble with Clarence & Joy Pickles, he had to make it a members-only club and he then discovered lots of the audience were not local. They were coming through the Blackwall Tunnel from north of the Thames and a lot were very highly-paid, highly-educated City workers, which was why the heckling was of such a high standard. I think someone was once heckled off in Latin and looked a bit surprised.
BRES: Yeah.
JOHN: What was your job at that point?
BRES: (LAUGHS) I was a Lloyds underwriter, working in the City.
JOHN: So basically it was up-market scum causing the problems.
BRES: Exactly. (LAUGHS) But I am from humble beginnings. I guess the Tunnel club had a timely demise and we were then a bit bereft of anywhere to go. We tried out Jongleurs club in Clapham, but the comedy was never great there and we weren't allowed to heckle. We were physically told-off by bouncers. Luckily, Malcolm then set-up Up The Creek in Greenwich, which didn't have the same notoriety as the Tunnel.
JOHN: I think the brothers who co-owned it with Malcolm told him after a few weeks that he couldn't allow heckling and throwing things. Though I do remember some open spot act who got up on stage and started reading poetry. He was a bald man and you could see the blood trickling down his forehead after something was thrown and hit him.
BRES: I was there when Eddie Shit was performing. He came on dressed as Freddie Mercury and was singing songs by Queen with all the lyrics changed to refer to shit. I was sitting down the front and we were getting things passed to us from the back – including glass ashtrays – to throw at him. Which, obviously, we never did.
There was one occasion when an act which really was shit had been using a real frozen chicken and they ended up throwing this frozen chicken at the audience. The audience kept it then, slowly but surely, it made its way down the front. It came to me and I remember getting up on stage and offering it to Malcolm and I think I started up the chant "Shag the chicken! Shag the chicken!" which the whole audience took up.
So Malcolm got his knob out and duly obliged.
That was quite amusing.
JOHN: Did you make friends with the other hecklers?
BRES: Yes. And some of the acts as well. It wasn't all animosity. Simon Munnery, Martin Soan, Boothby Graffoe, Rich Hall. We would leave the good acts alone and they would leave us alone.
JOHN: Mostly, I thought the hecklers at Malcolm's clubs were firm but fair.
BRES: I would like to think that.
JOHN: Part of the training process for new comedians. You don't get much heckling nowadays.
BRES: The demise of heckling is down to the extra tolerance we have nowadays, even for bad acts. There are hidden boundaries these days. There's too much respect for comics these days. Performers don't know how to give a riposte and, as a heckler, you don't want to show them up. It would just stump them.
JOHN: Isn't that the point?
BRES: Not always. The next generation should learn what "Maaallcolm!!!" means.
Tagged as Adam Wide, Babs Sutton, Boothby Graffoe, comedy, Donald Soper, Eddie Shit, Gordon Breslin, heckling, Jongleurs, Jools Holland, london, Malcolm hardee, Martin Soan, Mike Myers, Neil Mullarkey, political correctness, Rich Hall, Simon Munnery, Tunnel club, Up The Creek
Jan 7, 2019 · 11:29 am
Yet more comedy industry comments on the death of Malcolm Hardee in 2005…
A few days after comedy legend Malcolm Hardee drowned, I set up an online page where people could post memories of him.
I reposted the first of these comments (ones by people in the comedy industry) two days ago; and more yesterday.
I hate to be predictable, but here comes Part 3…
Malcolm ran two famous – or arguably infamous – London comedy clubs: The Tunnel and Up The Creek.
KEVIN DAY, comedian – 11th February 2005
The last time I performed at The Tunnel was going as well as the others (the first heckle I got was: "Fuck you, Bronski Beat banana cunt") when, after about ten minutes, a large skinhead got up on stage and stood there very gently holding my hand. This was unusual enough to quieten the room and the rest of the set went comparatively well.
Afterwards, the guy disappeared and Malcolm tried to explain to me that he was the ghost of a guilty heckler who had been killed on the way home from the last gig. Malcolm then suggested that the decent thing to do would be to donate my fee to the bereaved family – I count myself lucky that he eventually agreed to let me keep enough money for a cab and I still went home thinking he had done me a favour. I hope whatever God he believed in has put his name on the guest list.
FRANK HARDEE, Malcolm's son – 11th February
There are too many memories of dad to write them all down here. Many of the memories that have been left so far have been to do with 'comedy'. But as many of you know dad's whole life was one big comedy, whether it be nearly sinking at midnight coming back from a boat trip 'adventure' up the Thames and we had lost all power and we were floating with the tide and the mobile had no battery left, so we couldn't phone the PLA. Or whether it be blagging our way into the Millennium Dome before it was complete and there were still security guards everywhere – but we were still the first members of the public inside the Dome!
The thing that dad and I shared in common was our love for quizzes – I was brought up on quizzes. No cartoons for me as a child, but Bullseye, 15 to 1, Countdown followed by Going for Gold. Even recently we'd still watch The Weakest Link and Who Wants To Be a Millionaire? There are many more memories which I shall be sharing at the funeral. Hope to see you ALL there. Let's give Greenwich council one last headache from Malcolm. Take care Frank xxx
DAVE COHEN, comedian – 14th February
I was both privileged and unfortunate enough to play the Tunnel Club and Up The Creek many times. Like every comic I've spoken to over the last few days, I can clearly remember every Tunnel gig I did. It was the hardest club to find. It was on the most unpopular going out-night of the week. There was no quality control on the open spots. How could it possibly succeed?
It did, because it was totally in Malcolm's image. Raucous, sometimes brutal, often generous. I remember some years later doing an out-of-town gig with Malcolm – Norwich I think it was – and when I came off he said: "How come you're not shit anymore?" A compliment I have always cherished.
MARK HURST aka MARK MIWURDZ, comedian – 14th February
Many good memories – Coming down from Sheffield in 1983 to do the Tunnel for the first time and staying at Malcolm and Pip's afterwards.Tripod had shit everywhere. Doing gigs in Chorley with Malcolm who brought the baby Frank with him. I fed him on the car journey home. Frank, that is, not Malcolm. Lots of boozy nights after shows of course. Malcolm lent me Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K Jerome, a few years back. He said it was his favourite book. I never got to give it back to him. I'll keep it now.
MARK BORKOWSKI, PR guru – 15th February
I first met Malcolm in a bar in Edinburgh in the 1980s; he had a profound influence on me. Malcolm was a legend and a true Gandalf of the dark alchemy of the publicity stunt. One of my last conversations with him was when David Blaine was doing his stunt in London, sitting in a glass box dangling from a crane. Malcolm rang me up to ask if I could help him organise the media and a crane because he'd got one of his mates in Deptford to knock up a glass box and he was going to put his up right next to Blaine and sit in it for the same amount of time… stark naked. When I told him he'd never get away with it, he decided to settle for standing underneath Blaine throwing chips at him. As anyone who ever saw him perform will know – he had balls.
BRENDON BURNS, comedian – 15th February
He once told me that getting angry wouldn't work for me. What the fuck kind of advice did he give to people he managed? In his own words, "He was shit but I'd fuck him"
JEFF GREEN, comedian – 16th February
Myself, Matt Hardy, Shane Bourne and any others who want to attend his funeral and show their respects will be holding our own southern hemisphere celebration of Malcolm Hardee's life. St Kilda Pier – 11 hours ahead of the UK service. Rum and coke obligatory.
Malcolm, I was at your birthday a few weeks ago and I remember many times backstage at Glastonbury – bringing me on to nothing!… and playing trivia machines at Up The Creek. I remember you pretending to faint in the Gilded Balloon – to see how many people would come to your aid. I remember spending an afternoon rowing boats on a trip to a gig in Bungay. And all those times I don't remember ever hugging you and telling you what a great bloke you are. And I regret that.
CHARMIAN HUGHES, comedian – 17th February
Malcolm, Glastonbury won't be as fun without you being there to take the piss out of it. The Tunnel was the beginning for so many of us – and the end – a level playing field where only you were king. xx
DAVE THOMPSON, comedian – 17th February
I did my fourth guest spot at the Tunnel Palladium. Everyone was saying the audience was volatile, because Malcolm was at Glastonbury and they missed him. "Who is this Malcolm?" I thought.
I found out next time I did a guest spot. He wasn't the cool bloke I imagined. He was an anti-guru, who didn't know the meaning of stress.
Touring with him up North, everywhere we went, he knew someone who welcomed him without condition into their house.
He wanted everyone to have a good time all the time. He was a very bad boy, but ultimately he knew the difference between right and wrong.
I never achieved the success I wanted. Then Malcolm asked me to do The Greatest Show on Legs in Montreal. We went on last at the Theatre St Denis, and effortlessly stormed it. Twice. I'm still getting the TV royalty cheques for those gigs.
All those years doing finely honed one-liners and still rejected by Jongleurs and Don Ward of the Comedy Store. But Malcolm takes me to Montreal and I have fun prancing around naked in front of TV cameras and 2000 adoring people. Thanks, Malcolm. Whenever things seem too serious, I remember your attitude and it gets put into perspective. Comedy is about having a laugh… effortlessly. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
JIM MILLER aka JAMES MACABRE, comedian – 17th February
Jeff Green is right about those quiz machines… I had the measure of the one at Up The Creek at a time when 20 quid was beer for the night and more. Malcolm would always wait until I had spunked 3 or 4 quid before sidling up and saying: "Sorry, Jim: I got the jackpot half an hour ago". He was proprietorial about that machine; I think he genuinely resented me or Jo Brand cleaning it out.
I played the Tunnel one night when some Millwall football fans genuinely WERE in (as opposed to the myth). King Dembina opened and I had to follow the torrent of hate he had incited. Only time I ever witnessed a comic being booed ON and that man was me.
At half-time, after blood on the walls and actual coppers in the house, Malcolm appealed to the audience to give the last act (Michael Redmond, who didn't need it) a chance or we would all be going home before ten.
At the time, I was almost hoping the brilliant Michael would also fail just to see what Malcolm pulled out of the bag – and he would have come up with something, you know…..
JEREMY HARDY, comedian – 18th February
you helped and encouraged me when i started. at the time i think i took it for granted. i'm not sure i ever thanked you. we lost touch over the years, partly because i tried to avoid getting involved in things which would involve you owing me money. i'm sad now that i hadn't seen you for so long. you once introduced me at the tunnel as your little brother and people believed you. i think you only meant it as a joke, but, in retrospect, i'll take it as a compliment if you don't mind.
JOHN HEGLEY, comedian – 19th February
Passing water in The Thames, thinking of Malcolm
it wasn't sinking in that he was gone
the River Thames is similar to Malcolm
the going doesn't stop the going on.
The last time I saw Malcolm was at Arthur Smith's 50th birthday do in Paris. It was getting late.
We got on stage to do something for Arthur, with Ronnie Golden a.k.a. Tony de Meur. A twelve bar blues was agreed. I wasn't sufficiently co-ordinated to tune the mandolin. So, Ronnie played guitar and Malcolm played harmonica, at the one mike available to he and I. His solo was of a good length. Arthur shouted:
"Let John have a go."
Malcolm surprised me by handing me the harmonica. I hadn't played one for 25 years and was grateful for the challenge.
Later I asked him to dance, and he said, "No."
ANGELO MARCOS, comedian – 21st February
I only met Malcolm a few times but he was always nice to me, even after I'd had the worst gig of my life at one of his clubs (which wasn't difficult!)
A true loss to comedy.
RIP Malcolm.
Filed under Comedy, UK
Tagged as Angelo Marcos, Arthur Smith, Brendon Burns, Charmian Hughes, comedy, Dave Cohen, Dave Thompson, Frank Hardee, Ivor Demina, Jeff Green, Jeremy Hardy, Jim Miller, Jo Brand, John Hegley, Kevin Day, Malcolm hardee, Mark Borkowski, Mark Hurst, Michael Redmond, Ronnie Golden, Tunnel club, uk, Up The Creek
More comics' comments on the death of the godfather of UK Alternative Comedy
Malcolm Hardee on his boat (Photograph by Vincent Lewis)
Malcolm Hardee's birthday was yesterday in 1950.
He drowned on 31st January 2005.
A few days after his death, I set up an online page where people could post memories of him.
Yesterday I re-posted the first of those memories by fellow comics.
They continue here…
ALAN DAVIES, comedian – 7th February, 2005
The Tunnel Club in early 1989. I was an open spot. I was 22 but I looked about 12. Malcolm looked worried for me:
"You're not going to wear that shirt are you? They'll take the piss out of you your first line."
He introduced me.
"Stone him!" they shouted. "Crucify him!"
Before I could do my first line, someone asked what I was drinking. I held up my glass and said, "Directors". Then I made a joke about my shirt and did some material before I could get booed off.
At The Tunnel, if you survived the open spot they'd slap you on the back and cheer you loudly. It was that or humiliation. No middle ground.
Malcolm said, "I'll book you," which was fantastic for me, just starting out. "By the way," he said, "it's not Directors. The landlord's done a deal with Whitbread, even though it's a Courage pub".
The following month, I did a full spot and soon after the pub was raided and it was over.
Up The Creek was great and I played it a lot but The Tunnel was special – the hardest gig. If you went well they'd virtually chair you off but, if not, a humming noise would start and gather volume as more joined in… "Mmmm…" louder and louder.
Malcolm would hurry from the back bar.
"MmmmmMALCOLM!" was the signal for him to rescue the turn.
One night there was a juggler who tossed clubs into the audience inviting them to throw them back.
"Oh no," said Malcolm,"I've only just got them to stop throwing stuff." The first club nearly took the juggler's head off but he caught the second and was granted a wild ovation.
Malcolm gave me loads of gigs, including one in Bungay which I drove him to as he consumed an enormous curry alongside me.
There were stories all the way there and all the way back.
He was the one-off's one-off.
ALEX HARDEE, Malcolm's brother – 7th February
I had just met a new girlfriend, who had never been introduced to any of my family before. She was from quite a well to do family, and I was quite nervous of her meeting Malcolm.
Unfortunately, it happened to be at Glastonbury where the meeting was to take place, so I dragged her backstage to the Cabaret Tent, and said, "Malcolm, this is Claudia," at which he whipped his genitalia out and said, "Look at this Ultravoilet knob," as he had painted it earlier with Ultravoilet paint.
A shocked look came across her face and he responded, "Don't you worry. You should see my wife's mouth."
Of course, I am not still with her.
Will miss you loads. The world is a sadder and less colourful place without you.
MATTHEW HARDY, comedian – 8th February
October 2, 1992. I landed alone in the UK, straight from having lived my entire life under Mum & Dad's working class roof in the sunny Aussie suburbs. A mate who'd been overseas showed me a copy of Time Out and, though I'd only done six open spots in Oz, I decided there was more opportunity in England. Saved money for a one-way ticket cos I was impatient.
Many calls down the then 'cabaret' listings got me nowhere, until Malcolm answered at Up The Creek. My old man had verbally forced me to agree on keeping a diary, despite me saying it was for poofs. The diary entry from Nov '92, upon meeting Malcolm in the Lord Hood on a Sunday Creek Sabbath, reads: "This weird bloke called Malcolm gave me a gig, met me in the pub next door beforehand, got me to buy him a pint, then told me I'd be shit, but not to worry. Unfortunately he was right, but I'm not worried cos he gave me another gig anyway".
Soon he arranged accommodation and a welcoming woman's number. Hardee hospitality.
Years later, he took my visiting elderly parents out in his boat.
Goes up the Thames and on the right was some kind of rusted ship, pumping a powerful arc of bilgewater(?) out of its hull, through a kind of high porthole, which saw the water arc across the river over fifty foot.
I'm on the front of the boat as Malcolm veers toward the arc and I assume he's gonna go under it, between the ship and where the arc curves downward toward the river itself. For a laugh.
Just as I turn back to say, "Lookout, we're gonna get hit by the filthy fucking water" the filthy fucking water almost knocked my head off my shoulders and me off the boat.
I looked back to see it hit Malcolm as he steered, then my Mum and then Dad. I wanted to hit him and my Dad said afterwards that he did too, but we were both unable to comprehend or calculate what had actually happened.
Malcolm's decision was beyond any previously known social conduct. He must have simply had the idea and acted upon it. Anarchy.
We laugh… NOW!
R.I.P mate.
SIMON DAY, comedian – 8th February
He was my friend, my agent, father figure, dodgy uncle, wayward best mate. He ran the two best comedy clubs of all time. He had a humanity and gentleness which he tried to hide. Above all he was the king of comedy. They don't make them like that any more. In the end he swam away with his underwater bollocks. Thankyou.
STEVE GRIBBIN, comedian – 9th February
As the man who launched the infamous Tunnel Club, one the two best and fiercest comedy clubs in the whole fucking world, Malcolm deserves to be justly celebrated, but those of us who knew him well will recall his love of a prank and a practical joke, which often shaded into criminality!
One time we were in Aberystwyth University and had to change in the kitchen. Malcolm saw a huge 15 foot square block of cheddar cheese in the fridge. Without a moment's hesitation, he said: "Oy Oy… let's have it!"
It took five of us to carry it into the white Ford Transit van that Malcolm had 'borrowed' off Greenwich Council.
The next day a very irate official from Aberystwyth University rang up Malcolm screaming abuse down the phone.
"You thieving bastard, I know it was you!"
Malcolm denied all knowledge, ending the phone-call with the immortal words: "Sorry mate, got to go now, me cheese on toast's ready!"
For every tear of sadness that's shed for his untimely demise there will also be an accompanying one of laughter. Malcolm was like that.
STEVE DAY, deaf comedian – 9th February
Malcolm helped me more than anyone else in my comedy career and when no-one else was interested. It used to be three good open spots at The Creek then you got a paid half spot – none of this perpetual open spot and competition rubbish.
I had only done two when this happened – :
"The next bloke is a deaf bloke. I know he really is a deaf bloke cos I offered him a paid gig, but he didn't hear me. So here he is for free… Steve Day"
IVOR DEMBINA, comedian – 9th February
Affectionate tales of Malcolm's thieving abound, yet here's one of an attempt of mine to steal from him.
When I first saw Malcolm compere at his club, the Tunnel, I was so impressed by everyone's reaction that I decided to 'borrow' his style of showmanship for my own comedy club in north London.
My theft was doomed to failure because I wasn't nearly as funny as Malcolm nor blessed with his gift for making strangers love him.
My fruitless larceny taught me a painful lesson: as in comedy as in life, be only yourself, say what you think, do what you feel and stick to your guns.
Malcolm Hardee was the living embodiment of that lesson and it's a profound sadness to me that I never had the opportunity to thank him before he died.
KEVIN McCARTHY, 'THE MAN WITH THE BEARD', comedian – 10th February
For starting me off in this business – I thank you.
For giving me my name – I thank you.
For bouncing countless cheques on me – I forgive you.
For owing everyone on the circuit at least a tenner – I forgive you.
For swallowing a two bottle decanter of vintage port in one go and then redecorating my car with it – I forgive you.
For turning up at a meeting at the BBC as my manager with gravy down your tie and looking like a sack of shit – I forgive you.
For dying aged 55 – …
CHARLIE CHUCK, comedian – 10th February
I met Malcolm and played Up the Creek in 1990.
A man was sat on the steps with his head in his hands.
I said to Malcolm: "What's up with him?"
He said: "it's Jack Dee. He's on next".
Jo Brand, Lee Evans, Simon Day, John Thomson, Bill Bailey, Harry Hill, Johnny Vegas, Mark Lamarr, Boothby Graffoe, Bob Mills & the rest, you know who you are. Without Malcolm, The Creek and his pioneering, it may never have happened for some. He got the media to his club, he could have signed many a comedian, could have exploited them and made money out of them. Malcolm was not that kind of man.
He was deeper and kinder than you know.
For me, Malcolm saw me and pulled me out of a bolt hole in Nottingham. I auditioned for him re TV at that time. I didn't have a clue.
He put me on a show called The Happening with Jools Holland. I died on my arse. I should imagine Malcolm felt bad about it. He took a chance on a twat like me. He said to me: "I've got Vic Reeves on at the Creek on 15th November; meet him". The only Reeves I'd heard of was Jim Reeves. So, instead, I didn't listen & played the Sandiacre F.C in Longeaton, Derby. Where?
During the Edinburgh Festival, at half one in the morning two men were locked out of a car; the only place open was a bread shop. They went in and borrowed some baking implements to break into the car. It was so funny. Me and Malcolm howled.
Anyway, fuck it!
Joke No 1. Malcolm told me he had a terrible day; he woke up at 9am and a prawn cocktail slapped him in the face. That was just for starters.
His memory will live on.
SIMON MUNNERY, comedian – 11th February
I first met Malcolm when I was doing open spots at The Tunnel. I'd been booed off before, but never booed on. I loved the place, and I loved Malcolm. I remember two blokes chatting in the toilets.
Says one: "It's been a good night."
Says the other: "Yeah. But if Malcolm gets his bollocks out it's going to be a great night."
And that was true.
I regarded Malcolm and his wife Jane as my adopted parents and one night they dropped in to my flat in Stoke Newington. Malcolm was drunk – hold the front page – and after a bit had to go to the toilet.
Malcolm used to steal – hold the front page – particularly from bathrooms. I knew this, Jane knew this and we could hear him crashing about in an exaggerated fashion for ages.
When he at last returned I said, "Alright Malcolm, what have you nicked?" and he goes "Uh… uh… sorry," and gets out this tiny pot of my girlfriend's aromatherapy oils.
But it was too quick.
I said "Yes; and what else?"
He goes, "Oh, sorry," and gets out another. And so on, and so on until, half an hour later, the entire contents of the bathroom were spread out in the living room and he swore there was nothing else.
Later, we were helping him down the stairs when I noticed an overpowering smell.
"What's that smell?" I asked.
He had emptied a bottle of perfume over his coat.
… TO BE CONTINUED …
Tagged as Alan Davies, Alex Hardee, Charlie Chuck, comedy, hecklers, Ivor Dembina, Jack Dee, Kevin McCarthy, Malcolm hardee, Matthew Hardy, Simon Day, Simon Munnery, Steve Day, Steve Gribbin, Tunnel club, uk, Up The Creek, Vic Reeves
Jan 5, 2019 · 12:28 pm
What other comedians said about "the godfather of UK comedy" after he died
Today would have been comedian Malcolm Hardee's 69th birthday. Who knows how he might have commented on that number?
He was born on 5th January 1950. He drowned in a dock in Rotherhithe, by the River Thames, on 31st January 2005. He was drunk and fell in.
In their coverage of his death, the Daily Telegraph called him the "Godfather to a generation of comic talent".
The Guardian's extensive coverage called him the "patron sinner of alternative comedy, renowned for his outrageous stunts"
The Independent's obituary said he was "the greatest influence on British comedy over the last 25 years".
The Times' obituary said: "Throughout his life he maintained a fearlessness and an indifference to consequences".
These are a few of those memories, starting with my own…
JOHN FLEMING – 3rd February 2005
Malcolm successfully turned himself into a South London Jack The Lad but the real Malcolm was and remained entirely different – a highly intelligent, rather shy, gentle and – despite his borrowing habits and forgetfulness – an enormously generous man.
People ask why women were so astonishingly attracted to him. I think it was because they discovered that, underneath the "Fuck it! Don't give a shit!" exterior, he was a gentle schoolboy who just had a love of pranks, wheezes and escapades.
He was much loved by everyone who knew him well.
I remember being in his living room one afternoon.
For no reason, he suddenly pulled a real goldfish from its bowl and put it in his mouth so its little orange tail was flip-flopping between his lips. He looked at me for approval through his spectacles with wide-open, innocent eyes.
At this point, coincidentally, his wife Jane came into the room, looked at his mouth and said casually, "Oh no," then, more reprovingly, "Not AGAIN, Malcolm."
He looked rather embarrassed, as if caught with his trousers down.
The irony, of course, is that, with his trousers down, he was never embarrassed.
BRIAN DAMAGE, comedian – 4th February
I've met some great people on the comedy circuit but Malcolm was without a doubt one of the best… and the funniest.
When I heard the terrible news, after the initial shock, I hoped that this might just be another of his scams to wind people up. I wouldn't put it past him – but sadly I now know it isn't.
I'll never forget the Sunday night at Up The Creek when two girls died a terrible death. As they left the stage with the hair standing up on the back of their necks, Malcolm said: "Well, they were shit but… I'd fuck the fat one!"
Thanks Malcolm for all the laughs and encouragement and South Africa and Glastonbury and The Wibbley Wobbley and the odd bit of trouble you got me into. I'm proud to have known you. I'll miss you a hell of a lot.
The comedy circuit won't be the same without you
Oy Oy mate. Knob out.
IAN COGNITO, comedian – 5th February
My abiding and most recent memories involve an early morning swim (I know) after a bit of a night ahht.
He'd managed to find some security code for one of the big officey blocks round the dock with its own, and subsequently Malc's, private pool overlooking the Thames. It was an hour earlier than I expected 'cos he'd never put his clock back and this was December.
So it's into one of his dodgy cars to visit an 80 year old lady called Moth for morning coffee, then off to try and blag some horse riding. Upon reaching these stables, after a spot of lunch, we were told someone had moved in nearby who claimed to know Malcolm.
Without ascertaining friend or foe, we went to a house in the middle of nowhere.
"Who am I?" asked Malcolm.
We were invited in for champagne and Christmas dinner. Then to the Lord Hood pub in Greenwich where we seemed to blag some free buffet, (I can just see him wiping his hands halfway up his suit, the way he did after cleaning his plate with his finger, and why not.)
Finally back to the Wibbley Wobbley to find more playmates.
Up until the evening, Malcolm had drunk just half a pint of bitter and blagged a fiver off me for petrol.
No fucking drama, just a lovely day out with a lovely man.
All that for a fiver.
JERRY SADOWITZ, comedian – 6th February
Irresponsible, conscience free, worry free, fun seeking, knew how to have a laugh, a woman in every port, highly intelligent… all the things I wish I could be… So I resented him a lot of the time!
But the measure of this man is that he could wind you up, rip you off, embarrass and exasperate you… and you'd still love him despite all that. What a rare quality!!
I will miss him, despite the load of shit he spouted about me and the world is definitely a poorer place for his passing. Why could this not have happened to any other comic or promoter????!!!!!
MAURICE GIBB, Edinburgh fireman – 6th February
I first met Malcolm back in 1981 when he appeared with The Greatest Show on Legs at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival following on from their successful TV appearance on OTT performing the Balloon Dance.
I was the Fire Brigade officer that year tasked with ensuring the public were safe in respect of fire hazards during a performance – no mean feat considering Malcolm's love of all things incendiary!
Like many others who knew Malcolm I was taken by his personality, intelligence and love of fun but in particular it was his "Fuck it" attitude to life that I truly admired and envied the most.
Malcolm and I remained friends and in contact right up to his untimely death and I will always be grateful for the fun and laughter that we shared over the last 23 years.
PAUL 'WIZO' WISEMAN, accomplice – 6th February
I first meet Malcolm when I was five.
I was dressed in a full cowboy outfit (it was the fashion then) and it was my first day at primary school. He looked at me and started giggling.
We then spent the next 48 years giggling with occasional bouts of prison, setting fire to cinemas, blowing up stolen buses with fireworks and driving cars through supermarket windows as well as showbiz bollocks.
He was the most fearless man I have ever meet as well as painfully shy, which he overcame with bluster and sheer persistence and a large pair of bollocks.
When we were both sentenced to Borstal for various naughty boy things at Exeter Assizes in 1971, we both got our dicks out to the judge when he sent us down.
Knob out, thousand pounds, nightmare.
GEORGE EGG, comedian – 7th February
I was 19 when I did my first paid spot on the comedy circuit. It was at Up The Creek and for many years after it was the only club I played, because Malcolm was the only person who'd book me.
Some years ago I'd expressed interest in the fairground mirrors that were in the since closed Comedy Empire in Willesden and Malcolm had assured me I'd be able to get them for only a few quid so I took a trip up to London especially.
I was directed to some bloke in Greenwich market who said they'd cost me a grand, so I called Malcolm who apologised for the mistake but asked me to pop round.
We visited his boat and 'Concrete Ken', where we had a beer, and then we drove to some place in Whitechapel for a fantastic curry, all courtesy of Malcolm of course.
Next we visited a bookie's where he proceeded to bet shockingly high stakes on two races, both of which he won and we finally drove back to his place where his son's friends were hanging around outside the house, sitting on steps and car bonnets.
"Look, it's like New York," he said, and then, "Right, I'm going back to bed. Knob out!"
It's a small but fond memory.
A genuinely lovely man. The comedy circuit will not be the same without him. Malcolm was to British comedy what John Peel was to British music.
DOMINIC HOLLAND, comedian – 7th February
Is there anyone in comedy who was more liked than Malcolm?
It is sad but, in an industry where success is covertly resented by too many, I suppose Malcolm fitted the bill for being liked perfectly. He was notorious but crucially not so successful either.
What he had that set him apart was his great generosity of spirit.
A rogue and a shyster, of course, but he was also a genuinely kind man and, aside from all his knob out antics, he was actually a shy and sensitive man who needed just as much approval as the next comic.
I expect most people that knew him weren't altogether surprised to hear the sad news about his death, but their sadness would have been brief and countered by their own memories and warmth of this lovely man.
I'll remember him most for the way he brought me on stage at the Creek on a dire Sunday night. I'd avoided Sundays for years. All the comics said that they were shit, so I thought What's the point? But Malcolm kept on at me and finally I stuck it in the diary.
So, after about 8 acts, most of which hadn't gone very well, Malcolm was about to bring me on:
"Last bloke on now. It's his first Sunday night down here, because he just does Fridays and Saturdays and storms it… so he's well overdue for a shit one. Oy, oy."
And he was right.
I had a shit gig and smiled all the way home because only Malcolm would have said that and only Malcolm Hardee could have got away with it.
In comedy, people try desperately hard to appear different.
Malcolm was different, and as said by so many other people, he will be very very missed.
Mr METHANE, farteur – 7th February
I always thought that, underneath all that East End stuff he had going on, Malcolm was genuinely a really nice bloke and a real character. There's not enough characters around these days and consequently its a sad loss.
OWEN O'NEILL, comedian – 7th February
You were suspicious of poetry
saw clear through most of it
even with those glasses.
Dickens would have loved you Malcolm
would have immortalised you, given you
a name like Swindle Rotherhind, or Tucker Lawless.
But you didn't need Dickens, you wrote
the chapters of your own life.
MALCOLM HARDEE
Your name fitted you like your food-stained ill fitting baggy suits. You were wide open, a big bad innocent book with no new leaves to turn.
All your pages stuck together, bound by your first rule of comedy: "Fall over! Get your knob out!"
You once caused me to cry with laughter until
I thought I would die. You took me for a ride in The Tartan Taxi. It had tartan seats and tartan carpets and tartan fairy-lights and a tape playing awful tartan bagpipe music and the driver changed hats and smiled like a lunatic as he drove us round and round and round the same roundabout for half an hour.
You encouraged him Malcolm. You encouraged the child in all of us, blew raspberries and pissed down the back of pomposity. We will miss you Malcolm. No one is brave enough to take your place. So when you fell over for the last time on Monday the thirty first of January two thousand and five, I really hope you had your knob out.
This last bit of the poem is a bit tasteless Malcolm. Some people might be offended by it.
They might think it's not very nice to speak of the dead in this way… What's that you say?
Fuck 'em Oy Oy!
Yes, that's what I thought you said.
Tagged as Brian Damage, comedy, Dominic Holland, edinburgh fringe, George Egg, Ian Cognito, Jerry Sadowitz, Malcolm hardee, Maurice Gibb, Mr Methane, obituary, Owen O'Neill, Paul Wiseman, Up The Creek, Wizo
Nov 2, 2017 · 10:03 am
Why do people keep mis-reading me?
Sitting on a Scottish beach not so long ago
Yesterday afternoon, someone said to me: "You will miss not going to the Edinburgh Fringe."
I said (I paraphrase myself): "No. I can walk away from anything. I spent 20+ years of my life saying Goodbye to people and not knowing if I would ever see them again."
When I was working in TV, it was mostly on very short-term contracts – one week, three weeks, two weeks, one month, whatever. I once worked at Granada TV in Manchester for six months solid but I don't think any individual contract I had during that solid six months was for more than three weeks.
When I left a company at the end of any of these short-term contracts, I said Goodbye to the people I worked with not knowing if I would ever see them again. Maybe I would be back in three months time; maybe in two weeks; maybe in four months; maybe in six weeks; maybe never. Some companies I worked at for over ten years, coming and going. But I spent my entire life saying Goodbye to people I might never meet again.
Last night, someone who does not really know me decided to describe my current lifestyle in less than 27 words. In fact, it only took 20:
Comedy, writing, observation, books, spontaneous, baths, London, culture, bad geography, sleep deprivation, rain, rough diamond, cinema and rain (not purple).
Not sure about the "rough diamond" and I bristled a bit at the "bad geography". But this was put down to my thinking that Preston was North East of Manchester rather than North West. So I can't really complain.
But I think throughout my life people have mis-read me. I have only ever really had two guiding thoughts in life. They are:
A) Never trust anyone.
B) Everything ends.
If I were being pretentious (perish the thought) I might add:
C) So it goes.
On the "Everything ends" front, here is a photo of the facade of the Up The Creek comedy club in Greenwich, London, taken in 2009. It retained pretty much the same facade until yesterday.
Below is one taken last night (by MEU-NF).
Filed under Death, Philosophy
Tagged as nihilism, Up The Creek
Jul 21, 2016 · 12:14 pm
I am lazy. Comedy club crowdfunding continues. Comic will change his name.
(L-R) The founding four for Angel Comedy 2.0 – Barry Ferns (horizontal), Dec Munro, Rachel Warnes and Sarah Pearce
Oh Jesus.
Mea culpa.
Today is 21st July.
On 3rd June, I had a chat with Barry Ferns and Dec Munro about the Kickstarter crowdfunding campaign they had just started to help finance the new Angel Comedy 2.0 comedy club in London's Islington. The idea was that I could give their campaign a boost with a blog. What could go wrong?
Well, my laziness and tortuous Things I Am Doing for a start.
I mean, if I am going to bullshit, they didn't really need me anyway.
Their target was to raise a whopping £20,000.
They did this within a week.
At the time of writing, they have now raised over £45,000 and there are only a five hours left.
But – hey! – at least I will have posted a blog of some kind at some point. The Kickstarter page is at:
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/angel-comedy/angel-comedy-club
and Angel Comedy supremo Barry Ferns (an increasingly prestigious Malcolm Hardee Cunning Stunt Award winner) has posted a very fine video on YouTube about the Angel 2.0 project.
As an incentive to pledge money, donors will be given various limited-edition Angel Comedy goodies. If you donate more than £30, you can name a random object in the building. So there might be a John Fleming knob (on a door). If you pledge £75 or more, there will be a tankard with your engraved name on it above the bar. For £200, you can name the glitter ball. For £500 you can name a toilet. And – recently added to the incentives – you can also re-name Barry Ferns.
"All of our backers get a vote," Barry told me last week. "Even just a £1 pledge gets a vote. We will be having a proper naming ceremony as part of the official club opening in September – where I will sign the deed poll form and one of our winning backers will get to counter-sign and witness the name change."
"Why?" I asked. "Just simply, why?"
"To show how grateful we are," said Barry. "Anyone can suggest a name for me – even a vengeful ex-girlfriend or a maniac like Adam Larter – who is trying to create a name that will get me into as much trouble at passport control as possible. Suggestions so far include: Mr Terrorist, VOID NAME, 000000000 and First Name, Surname. The stakes are quite high…
The new Angel Comedy 2.0 – Yes, it's the whole building
Way back on 3rd June, when I originally talked to Barry and Dec and they only had around £21,000, Barry told me: "The money so far has mostly just come from people who have been to our shows and know we are good people and are not gonna spunk their money on things. We want to do something good and they've seen us do something good over the last six years."
"Why," I asked, "did you decide to start the second club in Islington when you already have the 7-days-a-week original Angel Comedy club still running?"
"Most clubs," explained Barry, "are run out of upstairs rooms in pubs – like Angel Comedy. Malcolm Hardee started Up The Creek, but he bought the building. So the four of us put money in to buy this building but with the realisation that, once we owned the building, it would take more money to make it right."
"You have the building on a seven-year lease?" I asked.
"Seven to eight," said Barry. "Between the two."
"That gives you great security," I said.
"Security is one word," said Dec Munro. "Millstone is also a word."
"What do you need the Kickstarter money for?" I asked.
"When it rained two days ago," said Barry, "we had buckets and things."
"So," I said, "you are doing a 'soft' opening with various things happening in July and August, but a 'hard' opening in September, after the Edinburgh Fringe is done and dusted. What does a 'hard opening' mean?"
Dec said: "Consistent opening hours, some resident acts, regular format nights like improv, mixed variety, musical comedy, different weird stuff."
"There are so many comedians out there," added Barry, "who are not really supported, because there's nowhere they can get free preview space or a place that will let them perform absolutely bat-shit crazy stuff or if they are going to take a risk. The reason Angel Comedy has worked is because the new comedians are brilliant. That's why it works. Not because it's free; but because the shows are good."
"Why are you keeping the original Angel Comedy club open?" I asked again.
"Because that is not this," replied Barry. "That is an open mic club. It is the top of the open mic circuit. Angel Comedy 2.0 is not the open mic circuit."
"How will the charging here work?" I asked.
"It's whatever the performers want to do," explained Barry. "If they want to put on a free night, they can collect in a bucket at the end. If they want to run Bob Slayer's model, they can do that. If they want to charge £15 for a ticket, they can do that. Our cuts will be cost-only cuts. We won't take a 60/40 split."
"So how can you calculate covering costs?" I asked.
"A permanent home for London's loveliest comedy night."
"What we can say," replied Dec, "is we hope from September not to charge more than a 20% split of any tickets. And that money would go into a magazine or similar to be distributed in the local area to let them know about us."
"And there is no rental fee for the room?" I asked.
"We," said Barry, "will not charge a fee that we will make any profit on from renting it out. If we charge any money, it will just go to the publicity costs.
"Here at Angel Comedy 2.0 it's not always going to be free, but we want it to be a place where people can take risks. We also have space where people can come in at low cost or no cost and record a podcast. And we can teach people how to make films or sketches.
"If you're an art or theatre student, you can go to university and get access to a lot of other things but, in comedy, there is not that. I have gone bankrupt. I have done the craziest things just to be able to perform. And there is no support unless you have wealthy parents who own a house in London. You have to work at least five days a week to make your rent and then you have two hours to perform comedy when you're exhausted and you have no resources."
Thus said Barry Ferns.
But he may not be Barry Ferns for much longer. He explains more about his re-naming in a video on YouTube:
Filed under Comedy, London
Tagged as Adam Larter, Angel comedy, Barry Ferns, clubs, crowdfunding, Dec Munro, deed poll, Islington, london, Malcolm hardee, name change, Rachel Warnes, Sarah Pearce, Up The Creek


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This week's news includes; Carillion's collapse, Open banking delays, wild week for cryptos and Shell gets back into solar.
Lawyer2b asks whether Byron Burger's woes mean trouble for the retail sector?
City A.M questions whether China's ambitious growth is sustainable.
The Atlantic posts 8 Overly Confident, Mostly Pessimistic Predictions About Tech in 2018.
The government contractor Carillion went in liquidation last week after it became unable to meet its financial obligation. The main reason for the collapse was becuase it consistently had insufficient profit margins and project costs frequently exceeded expectation. Carillion has major service & infrastructure contracts including work on HS2, 200 prison contracts and the construction of hospitals.
Carillion had issued a number of profit warnings throughout the year yet it was still awarded numerous government contracts. This raised significant questions over the due diligence carried out prior to awarding the contract.
The company employs over 20,000 people in the UK and had 450 UK government contracts. The government has insisted that all necessary due diligence was undertaken and contingency plans are in place. Jeremy Corbyn described the collapse as a "a watershed moment" for privatisation.
The government has now ordered a fast-track investigation into the directors to establish what went wrong. Former CEO Richard Howson resigned last July after issuing a profit warning, despite receiving over £1.5 million total compensation. His contract also entitles him to receive a salary until October 2018.
City A.M asks whether smarter tech practices could have saved them.
Sky News explains how the collapse could affect the wider public.
Following changes to US tax rules; Apple faces a $38 billion tax payment. This is based on the $250 billion in cash its holds outside of the US. Corporation tax in the US has been cut by 14% , now standing at only 21%. The US corporate tax rate will no longer be paid on profits made outside of the US. A one-off payment will now replace the corporate tax for foreign profits.
Apple claims it will contribute over $350 billion to the US economy by 2023. It currently employs 84,000 people in the US and hopes to add 20,000 new ones once its new campus is complete. The location for the new campus will be announced later this year.
BBC News looks further at the US corporation tax changes.
Nationwide has become the latest bank delay its launch of its open banking regime. Open Banking implementation deadline was 13th of January and was imposed upon nine of the UK's largest current account providers. Out of the nine, five have already been given an extension by the CMA. Barclays, Bank of Ireland, HSBC and RBS all obtained six additional weeks to prepare with Nationwide as the latest addition. Only Allied Irish Bank, Lloyds and Danske were prepared to start on time. Cater Allen requires an IT system overhaul so will not be ready for another year.
Open Banking is a system providing regulated businesses access to customer's financial data but only with the customers' permission. This will allow consumers to better analyse their spending and obtain better retail & banking deals. Once permission has been given, banks can only block access to businesses if misuse of information or fraud is suspected.
Check out BBC News report for more on open banking.
Ferrero Group has revealed it will buy Nestle's confectionary business in the US for $2.8 billion. The deal will see them acquiring 20 US brands such as Laffy Taffy and Wonka. This is the second major acquisition in recent years for Ferrero. In 2015, they bought Thorntons for £112 million.
Ferrero Group, the makers of Ferrero Rocher, is the third largest confectionary company in the world. The group has an annual turnover over 10.3 billion euros. City A.M looks closer at the deal.
It has been another tumultuous week in the world of crypto. Bitcoin made the headlines again as it fell below $10,000 for the first time since December. Altcoins also took a hammering in the markets as the markets turned bearish.
Bitcoin recovered quickly though and currently trades at roughly $11,200 (21/01/2018). This is still over $2,000 higher than it was at the start of December, barely 7 weeks ago. The meteoric rise may have been a result of overzealous speculation and this modest level of growth may be its natural course.
These significant drops across cryptocurrencies can be considered a healthy market correction. Bitcoin rose by 1300%, Ethereum was up by 8500% and Ripple's XRP rose by over 41,000%. These rates of growth are not consistently sustainable over a long term basis without fluctuation. Check out our article Bitcoin: When Will the Bubble Burst?
UK inflation has fallen for the first time since June 2017. Inflation fell by 0.1 down to 3% in the last quarter of 2017. It is too early to claim this marks the beginning of falling inflation. Even with this minor drop, the UK is still 1% above the Bank of England's target rate of 2%.
Royal Dutch Shell is to buy a stake in Silicon Ranch Corporation, a solar firm. It will acquire a 44% in the firm for $217 million. The company has solar plants across the US with a total capacity of 880 megawatts.
This is the latest move in Shells re-entry into the solar industry. Shell sold its Siemens Solar in 2008 and sold off the majority of its solar businesses in 2016. With the huge depreciation in oil prices over the past 3 years, renewable energies are becoming increasingly prominent and profitable. In November, it doubled planned investment into new energies to $2 billion. Shell also acquired electric car maker NewMotion late last year.
Oil prices have recovered up to their highest levels since 2015 and this is certainly sparking a renewed spending spree in the oil sector. Reuters looks closer at Shells move into renewable energy.
Dyson has sued its US rival Shark over who's vacuums have the greatest suction. Shark claims that it has the most powerful vacuum cleaner and emphasises this in its adverts. Dyson however, claims that this constitutes misleading advertising. Shark performed tests comparing its IF2 Cleaner to Dysons V8, both on a setting lower than the maximum power. They claimed this would be more appropriate but Dyson firmly disagrees.
Deutsche Bank has announced that it will be moving only a few hundred jobs out of London. The decision to move jobs was in response to Brexit. The German bank deemed it necessary for business to place more staff within the EU, particularly as the possibility for financial services passporting rights for the UK dwindled. Deutsche had initially stated that it could move up to 4000 jobs to from London to its headquarters in Frankfurt.
This comes as welcome news for the city of London but plans for banking Brexit exodus are still largely in place. A number of major banks have all announced plans to move jobs out of London after Brexit, with Frankfurt as the main destination. Some of the banks include; Bank of America, Barclays, Goldman Sachs and JP Morgan.
Sky News reports on Deutsche Bank's announcement.
H&M is attempting to resurrect its public image after being embroiled in a PR disaster. The "coolest monkey in the jungle" hoodie modelled by a black child caused huge social media backlash and significant damage to its image. H&M quickly pulled the hoodie from all stores and issued a public apology. This did not stop mass protests and even the ransacking of a store in South Africa.
They have now hired a global head of diversity and inclusion. This has been deemed by H&M as significant first step to mitigate the reputational damage and prevent future blunders. Bloomberg reports here.


MediaWeek just published an article of mine, Notes on a Crisis, about what Domino's and other brands can do to revive and thrive after a catastrophe. The piece outlines three lessons learned from the 1990's Jack in the Box food poisoning crisis.
I wrote the article in part because there had been so much chatter about Domino's immediate response to the disgusting video posted on YouTube — whether Domino's moved fast enough, whether a video response from the company's president was the right approach, etc. — and yet, there seemed to be a lack of long-term perspectives on the incident: Was the immediate response enough? How can Domino's address lingering consumer doubts about the brand? How can Domino's turn the problem into a positive?
While the importance of a swift and reassuring response to such a crisis cannot be overstated, the actions by the offending company in the following months and years are equally important.
Importantly, the answers to these questions can't all be about what/how the company communicates — a true and complete recovery takes much more than simply managing the conversation.
In the case of Domino's, I argue the company should use this opportunity to address concerns people have had about is brand all along (food quality) and to assert leadership in the category. The incident created the perfect storm of heightened consumer awareness and desperate internal stakeholders and so the company is ripe for bold, broad changes.
The Twitterati may have already moved on to the next hot topic, but the residual effects of such a crisis on customers, employees, and other stakeholders may last far longer. I hope Domino's rises to the occasion and takes some brand-building steps to fuel its success into the next 10 years.


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Global Expansion, Product Diversification and Social Change (1970-1979)
Candace Reagan, 1 year ago 1 5 min read 6689
The 1970s was a time of tremendous social change, such as increased political awareness and an emphasis on women's rights. Women were making their way out of the home and into the workplace. In fact, in a landmark decision, Pampa, Texas plant manager, John Fritsch, chose to allow women to wear slacks to work (instead of dresses or skirts) with the stipulation they wear coordinated pantsuits. This decision was convenient, since polyester suits were the fashion of the day.
Further diversifying the product line portfolio from their original joint venture in 1962, Hoechst-Celanese partnered with Herbert's Industrieglas to develop a safer sight glass by fusing metal with glass. Due to the enormity of the cost involved, Herbert's also included Bayer AG and BASF to assist with funding, testing and technical aspects of the project. The three companies were instrumental in developing what is known today as Metaglas®, the safest sight glass in the world, used in a wide range of applications from distribution transformers, magnetic anti-theft tags, motors and high-frequency inductors. Herbert's eventually sold their paint division to Celanese, and Celanese later sold it to DuPont in 2000.
Lower labor costs and minimal fringe benefits continued to make the U.S. market attractive to Hoechst AG, and they further increased their American influence by acquiring Hystron Fibers Incorporated in South Carolina. Despite losses in the fibers market, Hoechst executives took comfort in the knowledge that their diverse product line would shield them from long-term harm. Hoping to increase global market share, Hoechst focused its efforts on the world's largest nation of consumers, the U.S.
Though Celanese had remained heavily dependent on the acetate and polyester markets in the 1960s, diversifying into building materials, health care and hospital supplies, revived the company, which was met with great success until the Arab Oil Embargo began in 1973, causing price increases and shortages in raw materials. The oil embargo was a result of the U.S. decision to re-supply the Israeli military during the Arab-Israeli War, in order to gain leverage in post-war peace negotiations.
Also on the world stage, the Vietnam War raged on, and opposition to the war bitterly divided Americans, even after President Richard Nixon ordered the withdrawal of U.S. troops in 1973. The U.S. Supreme Court issued a landmark decision on the Roe v. Wade case, and in 1974, President Richard Nixon resigned as a result of the Watergate Scandal. He was the first president to resign in U.S. history.
Celanese experienced rising fuel prices as a result of the oil embargo and made the decision to explore alternative fuel sources. In May 1976, a proposal was submitted to replace existing gas-fired boilers with coal-fired equipment, and Brown and Root Construction, along with several hundred Celanese employees settled in Pampa, Texas for the duration of the project.
Due to significant growth in the demand for high-performance polymers and fibers, Celanese made the decision in the late 1970s to build a new PBI (polybenzimidazole) production facility at the Celriver site in Rock Hill, South Carolina. PBI is a synthetic fiber with a very high melting point and exceptional thermal and chemical stability. The Celriver site was also the sole training facility for Celanese emergency workers and firefighters.
In addition, Celanese entered into a technical and sales collaboration with a Japanese company, Toho Rayon, in 1976, in order to work on carbon fiber production from rayon. But despite all its efforts at diversification, the company registered the lowest return on stockholders' equity among the 13 diversified companies in Forbes' yardstick.
Despite the downturn, in 1978 Celanese adopted a proactive approach to protecting the environment in an effort to promote safety and environmental issues in the industry. In an effort to eliminate as much wastewater as possible, plans to construct a 1.5 million gallon vessel, designed to organically treat wastewater, were implemented.
Around the same time, Celanese announced its proposed stock-swap merger with Olin Corporation, which would make Celanese-Olin the sixth largest chemical producer in the U.S., with 1977 chemical sales totaling $2.9 billion out of total sales of $3.8 billion. Negotiations were terminated, however, with little or no explanation.
Despite fears that a takeover was imminent, Celanese had its three most profitable years in history between 1979 and 1981, earning a record $144 million on sales of nearly $3.8 billion in 1981.
Hoechst took over the polyester film business of Celanese in Greer, South Carolina and became one of the area's largest employers. The German company with its German and American staff soon became an international curiosity.
The decade came to an end with an air of unrest and looming disaster. On March 28, 1979, the core of one of Three Mile Island's nuclear reactors in Pennsylvania, USA partially melted down, resulting in the worst nuclear disaster in U.S. history. Then on July 3, 1979, the Ixtoc I oil well in the Bay of Campeche exploded, spilling 138 million gallons of oil into the Gulf of Mexico over an astounding 293 days. Finally, on November 4, 1979, a group of Iranian students stormed the U.S. Embassy in Tehran, taking more than 60 American hostages, as a result of President Jimmy Carter's decision to allow Iran's deposed Shah to enter the U.S. for cancer treatment. Historians surmise that the hostage crisis cost President Carter his second election. The Iranian students set their hostages free on January 21, 1981 just hours after the inauguration of President Ronald Reagan.
Thank you for following the 100 Year Anniversary blog. We hope you learned something interesting about the sixth decade of Celanese's history. Be sure to follow along on our interactive digital timeline and on social media.
#Celanese100
Diversity and Inclusion, Employee Growth
Orange Is The New Awesome: My Journey Back To Celanese
Being Sustainable, Improving The World
How Can We Help Our Planet With Our Company Values? #My2018Impact
Candace Reagan
Candace Reagan is a Copywriter in Global Communications at Celanese, Dallas. She has been writing for almost 20 years both on a freelance and full-time basis in the DFW area. A native of Dallas, Texas and mother of five, Candace enjoys cooking and outdoor dining, traveling, shopping and reading historical fiction and political commentary/satire. She is a member of PRIDE@Celanese and leads the newest group@Celanese, Abilities in Motion (AIM).
Weathering the Great Depression: The Second Decade of Celanese (1930-1939)
A Walk Down Our Centennial Memory Lane
Celanese Thrives Through Diversification: The Third Decade (1940-1949)
A Focus on Pharmaceuticals and Hoechst De-Merger (1990-1999)
Celanese Exceeds Expectations and Looks to the Future (2011-2018)
Wolfgang Schlecht
Very interesting to be reminded of my past since 1970 to 2006 working for American Hoechst, Hoechst Celanese and it's following divesting company Clariant , servicing international companies that bought formerly Hoechst produced plastic products.i became the only person left of the huge HC plastics div as a separate distributor and domestic producer of polymer powders within Clariant Corp. besides importing various polymer resins. …..What a wonderful time of my lifes history it was, despite despite having knowledge of some negative issues within the company's results of acquisitions.
1 year ago	Reply

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


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Nigeria's latest EITI ranking – Thisday
NEITI should keep up the good work
The board of the Extractive Industries Transparency Initiative (EITI) recently adjudged Nigeria to have achieved Satisfactory Progress, the highest rating in the implementation of all the requirements of the 2016 EITI Standard. This positive news about our country and the increasing openness of its most strategic, and still opaque, sector is commendable. However, this rare recognition should lead to more, not less, transparency and accountability in the Nigerian oil and gas sector.
All EITI-implementing countries go through a process of validation every three years. This is a quality assurance mechanism designed to ensure that the implementing countries stay on track in their commitment to transparency in a sector prone to opacity while those found wanting are given an opportunity to improve or be suspended or delisted. The validation process includes review of EITI audit reports, documentation of processes, and stakeholders' consultations. After being appraised against 33 requirements, the countries are ranked in terms of progress made in four ways: No Progress, Inadequate Progress, Meaningful Progress, and Satisfactory Progress.
In this particular instance, Nigeria was assessed against 30 requirements. It achieved Satisfactory Progress in 28 requirements and achieved "Beyond" in two. While Beyond is used to assess individual requirements to acknowledge areas in which implementing countries go beyond the requirements, it is not used for the overall assessment.
Nigeria's overall ranking by EITI has pleasantly surprised many and is significant for a number of reasons. One, this is a country that constantly ranks low in most transparency and governance indexes such as the ones by Transparency International, the Mo Ibrahim Foundation and the Natural Resources Governance Institute (NRGI). Two, Nigeria is usually seen as the opposite of Norway in terms of transparency and management of extractive resources. But in the EITI validation, Nigeria and Norway are placed as equals: they are two of the seven countries to have achieved Satisfactory Progress out of the 33 EITI countries that have gone through validation so far. And three, a country mostly mentioned in the negative in global circles is seen not just to be doing something right but also to have something to teach others.
The Chairman of EITI, Fredrik Reinfeldt, a former Prime Minister of Sweden, made this third point well. He said: "Nigeria's implementation of the EITI Standard remains in many respects a model for implementing countries globally." This is thus a significant moment for Nigeria and for President Muhammadu Buhari under whose watch this happened, and to all Nigerians. Worthy of particular commendation is the Nigeria Extractive Industries Transparency Initiative (NEITI), the national body that coordinates the implementation of EITI in the country. The contributions of other government agencies, companies, and civil society groups involved in the EITI process in the country are also worthy of praise.
For those familiar with Nigeria's leadership and path-breaking role in EITI, this ranking would not have come as a big surprise. Since voluntarily signing on to the initiative in 2003 and commencing implementation in 2004, Nigeria has always gone beyond the minimum and has always raised the bar in the EITI community. This should continue. Nigeria also needs to learn from and catch up with others in enthroning transparency in contracts and beneficial ownership. It is also important not to buy into the fiction that this rating means that Nigeria's extractive sector is now squeaky clean. No, it is not. There is still a world of things to be done to improve the transparency, efficiency and accountability of the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC), and the overall management of the sector. NEITI itself needs more political, operational and enforcement supports from the government so that it can do more for the country.
Above all, NEITI reports need to be taken more seriously by various stakeholders that should also endeavour to implement its recommendations.
Previous: Ethiopian Airline's tragic crash – Daily Trust
Next: Petrol import: Buhari, when will it end? – Punch


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Nikki Awesome & The Royal Society is a Canadian electropop group from Toronto, Ontario, formed in 2007. The group had three members—lead vocalist Nikki "Awesome" Milovanovic and hip-hop artists Christopher "Plus Mo" Wright and Ryan "Slink Breezy Esq" Reid, and performed Pop music and Hip hop music.

History
In July 2008, the band performed for the first time at Toronto's Wrongbar. That year, they released the single "You Say it was Supposed To Be", which used interpolation from the New Order song "Bizarre Love Triangle" in its chorus. The song got the attention of Care Failure (Caroline Kawa), frontwoman for the band Die Mannequin, who had just founded the label How To Kill Records through Warner Music Canada. The band was the label's first signee and Failure gave Awesome a brief appearance in Die Mannequin's video for "Saved By Strangers".

In September 2008, Slink Breezy witnessed the theft of the KITT car from the Knight Rider series, which was filming in downtown Toronto. The incident was later revealed to be a publicity stunt. Breezy posted the pictures and story on the group's Myspace page, and the story went viral, generating thousands of plays for the group, who were still relatively unknown.

Following receipt of a grant from Much Music's VideoFACT (MuchFACT), The Royal Society released a video for "You Say it was Supposed To Be", which was directed by Davin Black. Black cast Awesome as a Film noir Femme fatale, and Plus Mo and Breezy as detectives in pursuit. The video was added into rotation to Much Music and MuchMore Music (M3) in January 2009, and charted in the Top 10. The song also charted in the top 10 for Canadian radio.

In 2009, now without a label, The Royal Society released two singles, both with videos directed by Black: "All The Little Things" and "You Say". The video for "All The Little Things" was filmed in Peter Gatien's Circa nightclub; the single and video lingered in the top 20 but did not lead to an album deal. The band released their own EP, The Nouveau Riche EP.

Following a tour supporting Flo Rida, Awesome attended the MuchMusic Video Awards alone, and did an interview with Jesse Giddings on MuchOnDemand.

The trio continued to perform together until 2010. In March 2010, Awesome performed alone at Club XS in Toronto during Canadian Music Week, and discussed her launch of DOLLS.

Awesome moved to London and launched DOLLS in 2013. Plus Mo launched his debut project, Cassette Tape $#!+ in 2018.

Discography
 The Nouveau Riche EP, 2009, Independent
 "You Say it was Supposed To Be", (Single) 2008, Independent
 "All The Little Things", (Single) 2009, Independent
 "You Say", (Single) 2009, Independent

References

External links
 MuchMusic.com
 NikkiAwesome.com
 DOLLS online

Canadian pop music groups

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


Inception is a consulting practice designed by Dreamer Management that allows clients entering the entertainment industry to secure resources and services under budget. The Inception business model is designed to help move the client's brand or business forward through consultation and instruction. Clients who have completed one or more INCEPTION™ CONSULTING PROGRAMS will have top priority in being selected for representation by our Artist & Brand Management team. We will help you move to the next level.
Get started by choosing a package that works for you, or by booking an appointment.
CLIENTS WHO HAVE COMPLETED AN INCEPTION PROGRAM WILL RECEIVE FIRST PRIORITY FOR MANAGEMENT!


A little inspiration pulled from the 80's, this Top with side slits puts a fashionable twist on the netted shirt trend we once cringed at. Featuring a beautifully printed netting layer and comfy fit what's not to love?
In a size S this Top With Side Slits measures at 26.5 inches (67.31cm) in length.
We love wearing this Top With Side Slits with a pair of our popular Wide leg pants in black with our ruffle trim jacket and heels for a nice polished look.
Looking for a more casual look? Pair this top with our zip trimmed jeans in white with crisp white sneakers.
Love this Top With Side Slits as much as we do? Check out what else we have in store! View more Picadilly Canada Tops.


Well lets get the story straight for a second. When a company says "Better" your first question should be "than what?". There is no doubt that this battery technology has some really great properties, however does it solve the problems associated with the normal consumer in terms of battery life? Lets see.
The major benefit that they are touting is the ability to charge quickly. Very quickly. The graph they are showing in the data sheet makes the following comparison: The SCiB battery can charge 6-24 times faster than other Li+ batteries.
There are two major applications that would love to see this benefit, handheld devices and electric cars. The technology, according to their data sheet says it can charge at 50 amps. They do not relate this statistic to the size of the battery, so I think it is suspect, but lets just take it at face value.
For handheld devices you will not be able to get the full benefit of this feature because most homes do not have circuits with 50 amp breakers on it (there are exceptions, but in general, trying to get 50 amps through a normal outlet will make the circuit breaker go). There are other reasons why this is not a good technology for handheld, but we will get to that later. The idea that you may go to an airport and plug in for 5 minutes to charge your laptop, doesn't seem likely.
For electric cars, that have large batteries, this is truly a boon. The possibility of having electric-only service stations are possible. Installing a 50 amp circuit in your garage is completely viable, and you may already be wired that way since many people have big tools like air compressors, saws and so forth in there.
But alas, while they have solved one issue, other features of have been made worse. Take a look at the chart to the right. The energy density of the new SCiB is far worse than current Li+ technology for handhelds. So while this may not be so much of an issue for weight and space insensitive applications, like cars, its pretty much a death knell for handheld and portable applications.
This leads to volumetric energy density of 130 Wh/l (without any sort of enclosure) and 67 Wh/Kg. Just to take a reality check, lets compare to a product that we already know is bunk, the Medis 24/7. It has an energy density of 85 Wh/L and 130 Wh/Kg. So the SCiB is still better volumetrically (important for integration into handheld devices) but the Medis power pack, is better in a weight basis.
Of course using normal Li+ beats both by factor 2x. Regardless, other features that help this new technology is the low life cycle degradation, one of the key deficiencies of traditional Li+ batteries.
In addition to applications that include battery-powered bicycles, motorcycles, automated guided vehicles, electric forklift trucks and construction machinery, which already use rechargeable batteries, the SCiB is also a promising candidate for emergency power sources, electric power regeneration in wind power systems and stabilization of electric power supply. Application in hybrid cars is also planned, with the intent of extending application to electric cars in the future, after advancing development of a high-performance SCiB cell.
And I fully agree with this assessment. Apparently its just the media and bloggers that are getting ga ga over it for handhelds.
Just a little correction. You do not need to charge it at 230 V, 50 A. If you take a standard laptop charger operating at 20 Volt, You just need it to deliver 5 Amps at 230 V. This is still a lot (1200 VA). This is as large as a standard heating element. So still a lot but it does not activate your circuit breaker unless you charge 3 laptops at the same time.
I think I see what you are saying but you got me a little confused at your units.
The 230 volts is not intended for laptop charging. It is for charging cars. A laptop doesn't use anything near 230 volts.
However the claim from Toshiba was that it can charge at 50 amps. It didn't qualify it with anything about the voltage, or the size of the electrodes (which is why I think it was too general of a claim).
A circuit breaker is rated for amperage at a voltage. These voltages, in America are generally 120V or 220V. So if I am charging a 230V device at 50 amps, I will either attempt to draw either 100 amps or 50 amps from the panel, respectively.
If I am trying to charge my laptop at 50 amps (again their claim seems flaky and inaccurate), then I can expect that I will only draw 10 amps from the panel (assuming a 12V charge). That is about the same as a refrigerator. So my point was that, at an airport or something, if more than one person tries to charge their laptop at full speed, its likely to trip the breaker.
But you are right, 50 amps into a laptop battery or cell phone would not be 50 amps out of the socket.
Each cell is 2.4V. If charged with 50A you'll need 2.4*50/0.8 = 150 VA (assuming 80% efficiency in the converter).
The batteries are apparently 10 cells in series, 24*50/0.8 = 1500 VA. Both are feasible on any circuit, at least here in Europe.
Hmm, too bad they're heavier than Li-Ion, otherwise it is pretty cool stuff.
I'm keeping this one, I'll remove the rest.
I think it's a nice way to share experience about New Batteries experiences so it would be helpful for others who are looking for some information about their issues.


I'm a have-a-go-hero when it comes to DIY. But I don't always get it right (I've lots wonky things up in my home). When my beautiful (but heavy) new bedroom mirror arrived, I learned how to hang it properly – and safely. All you need is a couple of power tools, a denim jumpsuit and red lipstick.
Last week, I took delivery of my very glam beaded gold mirror. I found it on Decorative Mirrors Online and it was love at first sight. The mirror is a beast, weighing 27kg.
I wanted to hang it up – rather than lean it against the wall. It was my job to make sure it was properly fixed as imagine if it fell off the wall! Not only would that be so dangerous but even worse it could smash.
Measure across the two brackets.
Then measure straight from the bottom of the mirror frame to the top of a bracket.
Measure the width of the wall that you want the mirror to hang from (in this case I measured from the edge of the wall to the edge of my wardrobe.
F = This will give you the height the mirror needs to be on the wall.
E = Where the bracket needs to be to make the mirror central to the wall.
Where these two measurements meet, is where you need to drill your holes for the screws.
You should have two X marks the spots on your wall. And hopefully not a ton of pencil lines everywhere.
Make sure you choose a screw that is long enough to take the weight. I choose a 70mm long screw which was 7mm wide across the head. You will need a matching wall plug (70mm wide and a 70mm) and then a 5mm and a 7mm masonry drill bit.
Put the drill on the hammer setting. Insert the 5mm bit and drill a hole that is 70mm long (you can see measure this by how far the drill bit is in the wall).
I drilled a smaller hole first. This is because the drill can wobble about (if you are weak wristed like me) and will make a hole bigger than you need. Making an 'investigative' hole first prevents this from happening.
Next, drill swap over the bit and drill with the larger one to drill your perfect hole.
Push the plug into the hole, then gently tap it in with a hammer to make it flush with the wall. Next using an electric screwdriver, screw your screw in. Do this both sides.
If you can get your head around the maths, there's nothing stopping you from fixing everything you own to the walls.
Hope you have found this helpful. In the meantime, here is me doing my best Charlie's Angels impression in my jumpsuit – complete with power tool in hand.
Oh and don't worry, I'm going to blog about that amazing mirror very shortly. I love it.
** Disclaimer. I was gifted some of the products for review. All photos and opinions are my own.
Great tutorial Maxine, and fabulous photos too! Love it.
Thanks. So pleased you like it.
Inspiration for the weekend. Great job!
I can see you rocking a drill!
Love it! Thanks for easy to understand instructions, and you look fab!
I think that is key – the right tools make the job so much easier.
I could so see you in a sequin or animal print one!
I'm never happier then when I have a hammer or screwdriver in my hand. Love it when a plan comes together!!!
This blog is awesome containing ultimate designs for your home.
You really working on it!!! Unbelievable.. thanks for sharing your blog.
Hey Buddy!, I found this information for you: "Girl Power! How to hang things properly at home". Here is the website link: https://www.welovehomeblog.com/2017/07/9879/. Thank you.


I'm having trouble connecting my device / fitness tracker, what should I do? – Need help?
I'm having trouble connecting my device / fitness tracker, what should I do?
1. Is your device connected to the Global Challenge website?
Data will synchronize with the Global Challenge platform after you have connected your device via the 'My Devices' page of the site.
Currently, supported data types are; activity / all-day tracking (steps) and sleep tracking.
How do I connect my fitness tracker to the Global Challenge site?
Click here if you wish to connect your Apple HealthKit.
2. Is your device compatible?
Please check that your device is currently supported by Global Challenge. If your device isn't listed below, it can't be used to input data into the Global Challenge website.
3. Did you connect your device less than 60 minutes ago?
Please note, it can take up to 60 minutes for your data to sync with the Global Challenge site.
4. Do you have steps saved in your fitness tracker account?
Log in to your fitness tracker account and check that you have a step count saved to the day you wish to sync for. Also ensure that step entry is open for the day you wish to sync for on your 'Step Entry' page.
5. Did you disconnect your device?
If you disconnect your fitness tracker from the Global Challenge platform at any stage, please note that it can take 5-10 minutes before you will be able to reconnect your fitness tracker to the website.
Once successfully connected, go to your Step Entry page to sync your steps. For any days you haven't already saved a step count to your Global Challenge account for, your device will pull your step count from your fitness tracker account.
Not seeing your steps on the Step Entry page?
What steps have you already tried?
How do I connect my Apple watch to the Global Challenge app?
Can participants use their own device?
Can I use my own fitness tracker?


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Welsh Farmstead -1860s Howe House
315 E Logan Ave, Emporia, KS 66801
Listed on the National Register of Historic Places in 1986. Built in 1867 by Richard Howe, a Welsh immigrant stonemason, the site holds a unique place in the history of Emporia and the surrounding area. Begun before the beginning of the Civil War, it stands as a testament to the early Welsh settlers. The homestead remains complete as it was originally platted, and was the property of three generations of the same family until it was willed to the Lyon County Historical Society in 1995 by Sarah Howe, the granddaughter of Richard Howe. This unique house is one of Emporia's oldest homes. Richard Howe and Sarah, his wife, were among the first of many Welsh settlers in the Cottonwood River Valley. The Howes were leaders in the Welsh community, and their home served as a gathering place for their fellow countrymen.The Howe House remains in near original appearance and historical integrity. Outstanding features include the eighteen-inch thick limestone walls, generous parlor fireplace, black walnut woodwork, native oak floors and original furniture, china and clothing. The homestead also includes 15 acres of bluestem grass, a well, and a barn, which contains a collection of antique farm tools and masonry equipment. The house is open for tours by appointment.
Aviation:
Ethnic:
Historic Trails:
Military:
Native American:
Other Museums:
Western:


For a lot of men, the considered making a well-rounded wardrobe is neither necessary, neither is it value their effort and time. The kind of garments you select to put on, although, can vastly have an effect on the best way you're feeling about your self and the best way others understand you, particularly in enterprise. There are a number of items of clothes that you just, as a person, ought to all the time have in your closet. Here's a helpful guidelines for the required objects each properly dressed man ought to personal Belt for Men, with Slide Click Buckle B07Q4T7LJ4.
When you will have sure objects hanging in your closet, you do not ever have to fret about not having the right outfit to put on. You will be prepared for any event.
Black Swimsuit- Each man ought to have at the very least one basic black go well with. While you put on it, you're feeling assured and confident. Your basic black go well with ought to match properly and never have any stylish options that may pull it out of fashion the next 12 months. Skinny pinstripes are acceptable, however watch out for something too daring and keep away from thick traces. When selecting your black go well with, make certain will probably be acceptable for a variety of events.
Gown Shirts- The white button cuff gown shirt is likely one of the foremost staples of a person's wardrobe. It may be worn below a go well with or with a sports activities jacket and chinos relying on the occasion. Preserve at the very least three properly becoming gown shirt in your closet.


Great write up in zymurgy! A half hour mash and boil are definitely reasonable for most beers on a home scale, so as long as you hit your gravity/volume targets and don't need to boil longer for color, that's an easy time saver.
The one-pot solution for cleaning and transferring is great idea too. I'll have to look into a new pot with a sealable lid and an airlock port! Definitely gonna check out some of your earlier posts too. Thanks for sharing.
In fact, my last IPA had some oxygen issues going on, which could be solved with a sealed lid.


Support two frequency bands. In the city, the UHF segment brings you a clear call. In the wilderness, the VHF segment can reach farther of communicative distance.
It can maintain 5W high power at low power and allows you to communicate between a distance of 1-6km. Meanwhile, it adopted a universal antenna port, which can be replaced by the antenna according to different uses in various scenarios.
Built-in 5200mAh battery, support up to 15 hours of normal use and more than 30 days of standby. With USB-C port and support charging by power bank.
The Mijia Walkie Talkie 2 has an IP65 rating so you don't have to worry about it getting damaged by the rain if you are out hiking.


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La emmonsita es un mineral de la clase de los óxidos, concretamente un telurito de hierro. Fue descubierta en 1885 en Arizona (EE.UU.); siendo nombrada en honor del geólogo estadounidense Samuel F. Emmons. Un sinónimo poco usado es durdenita.

Hábito
Su hábito puede ser de cristales aciculares formando grupos dispuestos de manera radiada formando parches similares a un liquen; también puede disponerse en drusas de finas escamas, o incluso en masas microcristalinas compactas. A veces puede disponerse en cortezas fibrosas en pequeños agregados en forma de bolitas globulares aisladas.

Formación y yacimientos
Aparece como mineral secundario en las zonas de oxidación a la intemperie de yacimientos de otros minerales del teluro. También se ha visto en la zona de oxidación de depósitos  hidrotermales de metales preciosos.

Se han encontrado importantes yacimientos en toda la costa del océano Pacífico del continente americano. Suele encontrarse asociado a otros minerales como: telurita, rodalquirita, mackayita, sonoraíta, cuzticita, pirita u oro nativo.

Referencias

 Emmonsita, mindat.org.
 Emmonsita, webmineral.com.
 Manual de emmonsita, Mineral Data Publishing.

Enlaces externos

Minerales óxidos
Minerales de hierro
Minerales epónimos
Sistema triclínico
Minerales descubiertos en Estados Unidos en el siglo XIX
Minerales descubiertos en 1885
Naturaleza de Arizona
Estados Unidos en 1885