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Other People's Books
Posted on	February 9, 2005 Posted by	John Scalzi	16 Comments
Someone recently asked me what I was reading, to which my immediate response was a quick laugh — like I have time to read for fun right now. Nevertheless, I have been buying books, and here's some of the most recent. From the bottom up:
The Ancestor's Tale, by Richard Dawkins — Dawkins is the current bete noire of the creationists and the IDers, mostly because he's able to break apart their tinny little "scientific" arguments with his mighty hammer of evolutionary biology knowledge, and they of course hate that, since their game is to muddy the waters enough to confuse the people with a bare bones understanding of biology, and thereby shoehorn their nonsense into science classes. This book traces back the evolutionary ancestors of humanity going back to the first single-celled organism, and (so far as I've read, at least) does so in a way that a reasonably intelligent person can find not too hard to follow. Should probably be required reading for anyone on a school board. I'll be donating my copy of the book to the local library after I'm done reading it.
Roger Zalazny, The First Chronicles of Amber; Robert Heinlein, Expanded Universe; Philip K. Dick, The Man in the High Castle — Clearly, I'm continuing to use the Science Fiction Book Club to stock up on books from dead guys. I used to own some Amber books as well as Expanded Universe, but in both cases that was in junior high and high school and God only knows where those books might be at the moment; time for a hardcover upgrade. And I'd never read High Castle before, and I figure it's better to read Dick from the era in which he wasn't communicating with aliens or ghosts or whatever it was he was hallucinating in his later years. What's really interesting is how short all these novels are — I thought Old Man's War was reasonably short, but each of these novels are about two-thirds the length. When did all us writers become windbags?
Orphanage, by Robert Buettner — The other recent debut novel that's getting compared to Starship Troopers and Forever War; it's a paperback release but the SFBC has a special hardback edition, and since I couldn't find the book in my local bookstore, I went ahead and got that version. I'm only a couple of chapters in but so far, so good; Buettner's writing more of a straight-ahead SF military story than I did, as far as I can see. I think I may be helping to move a few copies of this book, since every now and then Amazon has one of those "buy both these books!" links jamming the two books together, and elsewise I've noticed that when my Amazon ranking gets a bump for whatever reason, so does his. It's "The Long Tail" in action. If I am indeed helping him sell, that makes me happy; I'm a big fan of trying to lift all the boats in the water. Of course, it could be that he's helping me. In which case: Thanks, Robert.
Coyote Rising, by Allen Steele — Got this at the local bookstore. I enjoyed Coyote, so this sequel is a natural purchase. Some of the reviews I've seen have given Steele flack for the political systems he's put in the book, the gist being people wondering why he's kicking socialism when it's already so obviously down. Well, it's not down in the book, and secondly, I don't know, I think people are spending far too much time these days obsessing over the political angles of things. I don't think Steele's making a huge statement about socialism, so far as I've read; I think he's working within the parameters of the story he's constructed. At the very least, I haven't felt like it's been annoying polemical so far, and I have a pretty good ear for annoying polemics.
Dr. Tatiana's Sex Advice to All Creation, by Olivia Judson — A really neat conceit: An evolutionary biologist/journalist who explains concepts about sexuality in the animal would by creating an "advice column" format and having various species write in with their sex problem. This is exactly how popular science should be approached: By making it fun and interesting even for people who get scared at words like "science."
The Good War, Studs Terkel — I've somehow managed to get through 35 years of life — some of which in Chicago, for God's sake — without reading any Studs Terkel. Seemed like a good time to fix that. Also, I've recently become interested in oral histories as a form, and again, this seems like a good place to start.
That's what on the reading list, should I get the time to, you know, read.
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The Trackback of the Beast →
16 Comments on "Other People's Books"
GGJ
"When did all us writers become windbags?"
When hardcovers became $24.95. For that kinda money, people want a book that can stop a bullet. Just in case.
Studs is just the best. Find time to read "Will the Circle Be Unbroken" and "Hope Dies Last." You won't regret it.
Did I read something awhile ago about you not yet having read Forever War?
Probably, because I hadn't, and still haven't. Not that I don't want to, but I think I'm going to wait until I finish The Ghost Brigades at least.
Mitch Wagner
You might find "The Forever War" dated. But of course I guess you have to read it.
I think Joe Haldeman's best novel is "1968"—it's not science fiction, rather, it's a year in the life of a kid who goes to Vietnam in the title year, and the girl he left behind.
Joe's other best novel is probably "Buying Time," featuring the most likeable psychopath you could ever want to meet. Or not meet. Ever. Especially not in a dark alley.
His most recent novels, "Camouflage," "The Guardian," and "The Coming," are very fine. "The Forever Peace" covers similar thematic terrain to "The Forever War," but it might be more accessible to a contemporary reader. TFW is an allegory for Vietnam, "The Forever Peace" is an allegory for the first Gulf War. U.S. Soldiers fight in Central America using telepresence devices called "soldierboys." The Gulf War I often seemed, in America, more like a sporting event than a real war because it happened so far away and because of the great rift which had opened between military and civilian cultures at that time–if you weren't in the military culture yourself, you probably didn't know anyone who went over to the Gulf. In "The Forever Peace," even the American SOLDIERS don't even go to war, instead they operate killing machines by telepresence.
Joe also has a newsgroup—sort of like a blog—on sff.net, and I'm sure you'd be welcome there and you'd get along well.
Studs Turkel is brilliant and a hero, and "The Good War" is a great place to start. "Working" is great, too. I have his latest book, interviewing people about death, in my to-be-read pile; rather appropriate for a nonogenarian to be writing about that subject, eh?
Okay – you've now left an opening for me to confess something. I've been reading you since the 90's, loved Agent to the Stars, but Old Man's War has been sitting on my wish-list unpurchased because I'm scared of the comparisons of you to Heinlein. I went through a Heinlein "phase", reading and enjoying his books. Got a little stuck on "Job", but decided to keep going, and then read "Expanded Universe". And have never read another word of his since. Too hopeless and violent. I had been willing to overlook some of the troubling aspects of his earlier fiction because the stories and writing were good, but that collection has just colored everything else he's written for me. If I wanted stories of inevitable nuclear holocaust, I'd read the news…
So, can you reassure me that if I read Old Man's War, I won't come out of the experience feeling battered for not wanting to shore up our nuclear weapons and join a militia? You purchased Expanded Universe for the handful of good stories in it, and completeness – you're not secretly one of those Heinlein nutjobs who live their life by his philosophy? Can you say something nice for us liberal, pacifist women in the audience?
I mean, from what I read, I'm pretty sure Krissy would kick your ass if you treated the women in your books the way Heinlein treated his, but it's not like we can check out the status of your ass from here :)
"So, can you reassure me that if I read Old Man's War, I won't come out of the experience feeling battered for not wanting to shore up our nuclear weapons and join a militia?"
Well, *I* don't want to shore up our nukes and join a militia, and I *wrote* it. So no, I don't suspect you'll feel like you'll come out of it itchin' for guns and uranium.
The thing for me make clear here is why I certainly do appreciate all the Heinlein comparisons — not only was he a generally fine writer, he was also one of the most commercially successful SF writers ever, so overall it's difficult not to be pleased — the fact is I'm *not* Heinlein, couldn't be, and have no interest in aping every last one of his philosophical tenents or literary flourishes. I have my own books to write and my own thoughts to think.
As for living life by Heinlein's philosophy: Well, you know. No. Bob and I have points of agreement, but that's not saying too much, since I have points of agreement with conservative Christians too, and I'm pretty clearly not one of those, either. I think it's possible to enjoy a writer — and even learn from him, as I have flattered myself by thinking I've learned from RAH's writing style — without uncritically swallowing everything he did, said or wrote.
tor kristensen
Terkel's book "My American Century" was one of the last books I read that reminded me that possibly, perhaps, there was one or two reasons to move back to America. It didn't last long, but the voices in his book are intrinsicaly american. I've recommended it to several europeans who are interested in learning about the "real" america.
Dawn B.
Amanda, as a woman who doesn't like Heinlien much, I can safely say I enjoyed Old Man's War very much and did not want to join the miltia or stock up on nukes.
I enjoyed Orphanage and plan to buy the sequel when it comes out. This is another discovery I owe to you and OMW because it was the comparisons to OMW that led me to try Orphanage just as it was your comments that led me to Elizabeth Bear's Hammered (another case where I am also looking forward to the sequel).
Other than the obvious surface similarities both being SF novels with 1st person descriptions of training and combat, I don't see OMW and Orphanage as being that much alike. Buettner writes in broader strokes (and at times seems to have as much in common with comic books as with Heinlein) — don't get me wrong, I did enjoy Orphanage — but I think OMW is a better novel.
Thanks, Jim. Clearly, I'm not objective on the matter, so it would be pointless to agree or disagree with that. Although I do *like* Orphanage so far.
I'm a passionate Heinlein fan. I re-read all of his books every few years, I've read several books of criticism about his work, and I'm eagerly awaiting a biography which has, alas, been in the works forever.
I think Heinlein's later novels, with the exception of "Friday" and "Job" are his worst novels, and some of them are downright unreadable. Or, rather, unreadable by me; they sold like gangbusters and I get the impression that they're his most popular works.
As to H's attitudes toward women:
– He was very progressive. But he was also a man born in 1907 in Kansas, and a graduate of Annapolis, and he died around 1988. Now it's nearly a century since his birth and nearly 20 years since he died; his views toward women look creaky and reactionary.
– As to "Job: A Comedy of Justice": It's told in the first-person, his views are not necessarily the views of the author. For one thing, the protagonist is a Fundamentalist Christian whose faith is tested, but never destroyed. His wife may well think of him as a big dumb goof, whom she loves for his other good qualities.
"I think Heinlein's later novels, with the exception of 'Friday' and 'Job' are his worst novels, and some of them are downright unreadable."
Agreed, and I'm not all THAT fond of Job, although I think it's the second best of his late-era work, after Friday. I think a lot of the affection for the older work stems from the fact he was able to tie up his future history before he passed on; basically, he put a bow on his work for his fans.
Asimov did the same thing, and I've never understood what drove both men to do that. Well, I suspect it was money — Asimov came out and said that, and Heinlein was in similar personal circumstances to Asimov, with failing health and dependents whom he wanted to leave provided for after he was gone. Well, in Heinlein's case, one dependent.
That sounds like I'm accusing them of something nefarious, and I'm not. "Selling out" looks a whole lot less dishonorable when you a family have people financially dependent on you, especially when the alleged sell-out involves nothing dishonorable.
Indeed. I don't begrudge Heinlein his later bad books; I just haven't read them more than once.
And I actually think "Friday" and "Job" are pretty good.
We have a tendency to judge most Heinlein novels, and every late Heinlein, as a polemic of some kind. "Friday" and "Job" weren't that, they were just light fiction.
"Friday" was primarily light action-adventure. She was a female James Bond. Was Friday an adolescent fantasy? Of course she was! The novel also did a surprisingly good job anticipating the Internet — I don't mean anticipating the technology (which already existed when RAH was writing) but rather the experience of the actual person using the Internet, complete with the experience of wandering the interconnections and wasting time getting lost on tangents. Heinlein even anticipated there'd be wireless connectivity.
(It's kind of similar to the way he anticipated cell phones in "Between Planets." Anticipating wireless, portable phones wasn't cool enough — he also predicted that they'd often become a nuisance to people who just wanted to be left alone.)
Likewise, Job was primarily a comedy. Even said so in the title.
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Government defends increase in spend on PRs and special advisers
December 19, 2014 by Anna Reynolds
The Cabinet Office has dismissed opposition party criticism over the rising cost of ministers' special advisers, claiming that their "average salary is 8% lower than under the previous Government".
According to figures published yesterday there has been a rise of £1m in the past year spent on special advisers, totalling £8.4m in 2013/14.
There are now 103 'spads' employed to give advice, up from 98 last year. This includes 26 working for David Cameron and 20 working for Nick Clegg.
The data, which reveals each special adviser's pay band and actual salary above £58,200, shows that six advisers are being paid £100,000 or more, with the list topped by David Cameron's chief-of-staff Ed Llewellyn and his director of communications, Craig Oliver, who each received £140,000.
Clegg's director of communications, Steve Lotinga, earned £105,000.
In a statement a Cabinet Office spokesperson said: "As part of this Government's long term economic plan we are making efficiencies from the civil service which is now 21% smaller than it was at the time of the 2010 general election. Workforce reductions and pension reforms saved £4.7 billion last year, compared to a 2009/10 baseline. Special advisers perform an important function and their average salary cost is 8% lower now than under the previous Government."
The government added that "the increase in numbers reflects coalition working and the 24/7 demands placed on ministers". They also described them as a "central part of ministerial office teams".
Labour and UKIP have criticised the rising costs, with UKIP economic spokesman Patrick O'Flynn quoted on the BBC saying: "What we really need are more real doctors and less government spin doctors."
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redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


That's my thought on this-- this signing removes any need to invest even a late round draft pick at the WR position.
With as many needs as this team has, Telesco can now really zero in on addressing the trenches.
I understand that, with the way the draft sometimes unfolds, your choice is essentially made FOR you, if you're sticking with a BPA formula. So Jalen Ramsey *might* be the best guy on the board when the Chargers are on the clock in Round One (at some spot lower than 3rd overall, after a trade down ).
Likewise, TE Hunter Henry could be the best player on the board when the Bolts are on the clock in Round Two.
But with the depth of the draft heavy (no pun intended) in defensive beef, the cards are lining up for Tom Telesco to get some major help for the D-line.
"Believe nothing-- no matter where you read it, or who has said it, even if I have said it-- unless it agrees with your own reason, and your own common sense."
Here are Travis Benjasmin's stats.
Four years in the league, had a break out season in 2015, despite being on a team that had a horrible QB situation.
My only reservation about Benjamin is that he is 5-10, 175.
Benjamin would definitely provide a dynamic bookend to Keenan Allen, and create matchup difficulties for defenses.
That's 14 lbs lighter than Verrett was 2 years ago.
Eddie Royal is listed at 5'10", 185, so I think that was an apt comparison.
Team likely carries 9 OL in 53 man roster... so with 6 (non Capital letters) all but locks to be on the 53 man roster... TELESCO needs to find 3 (including a starting Center) that will improve this unit.
UPDATE: The Chargers could be in on another former Cleveland Brown in Tashaun Gipson.
Not to be cynical but I am sure somebody posted the Bolts would go WR and DB before OL and DL.
If they sign Gibson they won't be going Ramsey with #3.
Gipson would be a big pickup. Only 26 and a big time ball-hawk. Probably best coverage safety in the game.
If they sign Gibson you think they'd still draft Ramsey? Who'd they play at SS as they both seem to be FS's?


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Inside Bradford's Odeon as work continues ahead of Bradford Live music venue conversion
By Jo Winrow JoW_TandA Reporter
NEW images from inside Bradford's Odeon reveal how the 1960s cinema partitions are being stripped out of the dilapidated building ahead of its transformation into a live music venue.
Developer Bradford Live, the group behind the redevelopment of the 1930s building, have released fresh pictures showing progress in the stripping-out works which began at the landmark city centre site at the beginning of the year.
Demolition contractors are on site to take out the partitions, ceilings and floors that were installed when the building was split into a multi-screen cinema.
Bradford Live's Lee Craven told the Telegraph & Argus that as the layers were stripped away it was fantastic to see the auditorium space they will have to work with.
He said: "We've been working in Odeon 2, which is the biggest of the cinema screens.
"The front floor has been taken out and this has become a drop for rubble down to the auditorium floor below.
"We have also taken out the ceiling at the back of Odeon 2 and are working towards the front.
"In Odeon 1 the ceiling has gone now, and the huge original roof trusses are now visible."
He added that the dividing walls between the two screens are being taken down and once all this work is complete it will leave a large steel frame, which will need cutting and removing from the buildings.
"It is at this point that the full scale of the auditorium will be revealed to us for the first time."
"It really is coming on nicely, " he added.
The stripping-out, which has also included work to remove a false ceiling in the south tower, is expected to be completed by the end of next month.
A large opening has also been made in the back of the building to allow larger machinery inside the building.
The main refurbishment is expected to start in the summer once a separate contractor has been appointed.
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It will include the substantial repair and renovation of the existing building along with a small extension to provide extra catering and other facilities.
The conversion of the former Odeon building will turn it into a 3,800-capacity live music venue, to be run by the NEC group.
Plans for the scheme were approved by Bradford Council in March and a licensing application, for alcohol, entertainment and late night food, was approved last month.
The venue, which will also include bars and a restaurant area, is due to open in late 2020.
The building itself opened as the New Victoria in 1930, then was known as The Gaumont from 1950. It was turned into the Odeon twin screen cinema in 1968, finally closing in 2000.
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Home Android How to find hard reset method for any smartphone?
Every user uses daily their smartphone, and some users can change their android mobile PIN/Pattern/Password regularly. Yes it is a good habit, but on the other hand, there are also some users available in the world who also change their mobile PIN/Pattern/Password regularly, but forget after some time. Most of the users buy a new smartphone and put old one in their security drawers, after some time when they'll try to operate their old phone, they might not be able to access the code of the smartphone.
In the market, the shopkeepers require you to pay an amount to unlock the code of your smartphone while do not do this because opening the system of a smartphone is the straightforward and quick process. Shopkeepers misunderstand us by saying that they are installing new software (Framework) on your smartphone.
They make a hard reset in your smartphone recovery mode and do not install any framework on your smartphone. Shopkeepers underestimate you by the name of framework installation. Beware of these type of dealers and do not pay any amount to them.
Hard reset means the complete data reset of your smartphone. If you forget the PIN/PATTERN/PASSWORD of Your smartphone, then Hard reset is going to clear all your problems. It Clears all your Smartphone data.
Performing Hard reset for the smartphone is a simple and easy process. The hard reset also does not consume your precious time. Unfortunately, there are different methods of going into the recovery mode of Android for various companies. But, You don't have to hurt from it because the process which is going to be shared by me is workable and useful for making a hard reset.
On the internet, almost every smartphone hard reset method is available you have to google your mobile name with model + Write "Hard reset" and bunch of websites will have appeared to you to make reset in your android.
Also Read: TOP 5 CRISP WAYS TO BOOST YOUR ANDROID SMARTPHONE SPEED.
The website that I am going to introduce in this article is ubiquitous on the internet and also contain the hard reset method for every Android mobile.
If Your smartphone is running slowly, You can perform the technique to make it fast.
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How to find hard reset method for android mobile?
Beware: Hard reset Removes all the data of your smartphone. I shall not be responsible for this.
Its fantastic as your other posts : D, thanks for posting. "The rewards for those who persevere far exceed the pain that must precede the victory." by Ted W. Engstrom.


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�Clean your boots whenever they get really dirty. Leaving dirt caked on your boots will pull moisture from the leather, which can cause premature cracking.
If you�re spending money on a good quality pair of riding boots, then of course you want to keep them looking and performing in tip top condition for as long as possible.


Harker Heights officials are conducting an arson investigation after a man set his ex-girlfriends belongings on fire outside of the home that the couple shared together.
According to KCEN News, HHPD says that the woman moved out of the home in the 200 block of East Valley Road Tuesday, placed her belongings in a small moving trailer, and then left to get a vehicle with which to tow it. When she returned, her and ex-boyfriend got into an argument and the man poured gasoline onto the trailer of her belongings and set it on fire.
Police said the fire spread to nearby trees, a fence and power lines. Police have not made any arrests but are continuing to investigate the incident.
Residents captured the incident on Facebook in a video that has been viewed over 180,000 times which you can view above.


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Things Guys Need to Unlearn About Sex
Sex Myths Men Should Forget Right Away
Alex Manley
Sex education is a complicated thing. Due to variations in religious beliefs, comfort levels regarding sex, academic funding and legal mandates, two kids growing up in the same city might get very different information about sex — what it is, how important it is, and how to approach it.
As a result, it's fair to say that a lot of what people know about sex is, well, isn't the full picture. It can be incomplete, half-true, or completely false. Even guys who excel at understanding one facet of sex (say, the importance of condoms) might be totally unschooled when it comes to others (like female anatomy).
It doesn't help that some of the sexual information we come in contact with can be fueled by fear (like that abstinence is the only real form of protection) or problematic ideologies (like that a bigger penis is always better). Regardless of what science, data or experts say, if you hear something that sounds right at a given point in your sexual development, that might stick with you in a way that a less compelling yet more accurate version doesn't.
To help guys, as well as the people they're sleeping with, have better, happier and healthier sex lives, here's a list of eight sex myths it's time we all unlearn.
Myth No. 1: Bigger Is Better When It Comes to Penis Size
"The myth that bigger is better costs countless men sexual self-confidence and self-esteem," says sex expert Kenneth Play. "There's countless articles promising pro tips on how to compensate for your average-sized cock. And the message that I want to tell people is that there's no need to compensate! You are not sexually broken. You are good enough. Love the penis you have. About 70 percent of men have a penis that's between 4.7 and 6.3 inches in length, and between 4.3 and 5.5 in circumference.;"
RELATED: The Official AskMen Guide to Penis Size
It's not just a size issue, either. Guys often extend mistaking a big penis for a "good" one as mistaking deep penetration for sexually satisfying penetration.
"The reality, however, is that shallow penetration can be more desirable for a number of reasons," says Jess O'Reilly, host of the "Drive Her Wild With Pleasure" video course. "Not only are the most sensitive nerve endings of the vagina located in the outer third of the canal (sometimes referred to as the orgasmic platform), but other orgasm hot spots like the G-spot and the frenulum of the penis light up with pleasure at a shallow depth."
According to Play, it's more about compatibility, and not competition.
"For every vagina, there's a penis that's too small, too big, or just right," he adds."The goal isn't to love the penis you have despite its size; the goal is to love the penis you have because every size has pros and cons."
Myth No. 2: Only Gay Men Enjoy Anal Pleasure
There's a perception among some straight guys that to experiment with anal pleasure — that is, pleasuring your own anus — is either gay, effeminate, or both. Regardless, the idea is that real men penetrate, and that receiving anal pleasure is somehow bad. It's an incredibly outdated, not to mention limiting, mentality.
"Many people enjoy anal penetration, including straight men and women, and the range of sexual activities that include the butt is vast," says O'Reilly.
"If you want to let [your partner] experiment with butt play, rest assured that in no way will it impact your self-determined sexual orientation," she adds. "And if you enjoy it, this is not an indication that you're gay. Period. No sex act or combination of acts determines whether you're straight or gay."
Luckily, it seems attitudes might be shifting a little bit in this regard. Guys are now coming around to the idea of buying anal toys for their own usage.
"When most people think of sex toys, they think of women, but there's an increasing number of men embracing the pleasure of anal stimulation," says Caleb Backe, a health and wellness expert at Maple Holistics. "Although the long-rumored male G-spot has been the subject of much debate, many heterosexual men are learning to massage, or 'milk' their prostates. Because this can be difficult to do by yourself, more and more men are turning to sex toys. Tapping into the hidden treasure of the male G-spot can unlock worlds of pleasure for men of all ages and sexual orientations."
Myth No. 3: Foreplay Isn't That Important
Sex is way more than just vaginal penetration. Aside from how narrow-minded the concept of sex can be for some men, it's also worth noting how important clitoral stimulation is when it comes to female pleasure.
"You wouldn't penetrate someone with your penis if it was still soft, would you?" asks Play. "Just like the penis, the clitoris should be fully erect and engorged before penetration. This indicates that your clitoris-owning partner is fully aroused, their body more prepared for penetration. So often men forget to give the clitoris and vulva some love before going into the f—king part of sexy times. Women hate premature penetration! So stop overlooking foreplay — just like consent, it isn't optional, it's required."
Sex blogger Kayla Lords agrees, noting how important it is to pleasure your partner before penetration to make the entire experience more enjoyable.
"If you put all of your sexual focus on your partner — finding out where they want to be touched, what turns them on, what gets them off — then the sex you have will be so much better," she says. "If this is a new concept to you, you're going to be shocked at how much better sex is when your partner is genuinely into it."
RELATED: Six Foreplay Moves She Hates, Revealed
If you're doing it right, you'll get foreplay started way before you're both naked on the mattress, adds Lords.
"It's in the way you talk to a partner and listen to them," she says "It's about seducing your partner and making them feel good. If 'sex' only happens once all your clothes come off, you're missing a huge opportunity for anticipation, arousal, and added excitement that makes everything that happens once you get naked, even better."
Myth No. 4: Penetration Alone Brings Most Women to Orgasm
While watching porn may help to get an idea of what two people having sex looks like, it contains lots of tropes and conventions that don't exactly line up with reality.When taken at face value, it can lead to less than exciting real-life sex. In particular, the focus on penetrative sex as a means to make a woman orgasm.
"The reality is that not everyone with a vulva orgasms through penetration — and some of those nearly instantaneous loud moans are fake," says Lords.
"The clitoris is a girl's best friend that does not get nearly enough attention as it rightfully deserves," adds Mackenzie Riel of adult novelty and romance retailer TooTimid.com. "For women, this is where we get all the good sensitive tingling from needed to hit the big 'O.'"
Meaning, if you're engaging in penetration but spending zero time focusing on the clitoris, chances are your partner's not going to orgasm, no matter the size of your penis or the specific thrusting techniques you're using.
"For people with vulvas/vaginas, penetrative intercourse is one of the least effective paths to orgasm," notes O'Reilly. "Women are more likely to orgasm using hands, tongues, toys and other body parts that allow them to grind and rub."
Myth No. 5: Sex Toys Will Replace You in Bed
While women have been all about the use of sex toys for years, it remains a bit of a taboo subject for a lot of guys.
The anti-sex toy perception is due to men thinking that a product's inclusion means they aren't adequate enough to get their partner off themselves, when in reality, that's just not the case.
RELATED: The Best Sex Toys for Couples, Revealed
"[Sex toys aren't] a statement about your prowess in bed," says Lords. "They are a tool to enhance pleasure, and if you're willing to explore that kind of sensation and pleasure with your partner, you'll both benefit from what a good sex toy offers. If your partner is willing to use them with you, that means they're actively trying to make sex a better experience for both of you. Embrace that, encourage them, and then discover what sex can really be like when you focus on mutual pleasure."
If you don't have much sex toy experience, it may wound your pride a bit in the early going, but being able to give your partner powerful orgasms by using a toy will be a lot hotter than struggling valiantly on your own.
Myth No. 6: There's a Right Age to Lose Your Virginity
Because of the way male sexual prowess is tied to traditional depictions of masculinity, being a male virgin is often seen as shameful. Guys face pressure to lose their virginities as soon as possible; those who do brag about it, while those who don't might hide it. But why?
"There are few events in one's life which can cause as much as anxiety as losing one's virginity," notes Backe. "While there are many questions asked about this hot topic, many are left wondering if there's a 'right' age to lose their virginity."
The truth? There really isn't.
"Although virginity is more of a social construct more than anything, our society has inculcated us with the tendency to emphasize, maybe even overemphasize, this stage of life," he adds. Objectively speaking, losing one's virginity should be more about the stage of maturity and development than about age. In this case, age is relatively arbitrary, and may not be a reliable indicator of sexual preparedness."
In short, if you haven't had sex yet, don't freak out. It's better to lose it when you're ready than to rush into it in order to conform to a misguided notion of what's normal or desirable.
Myth No. 7: The Pull-Out Method Is an Adequate Method of Birth Control
Technological advances in contraception over the last 100 years mean there are tons of birth control options available for the modern heterosexual couple. Despite that, some guys still rely primarily on a method so low-tech it's no-tech: pulling out. According to Riel, that's not a great strategy, no matter how good your pull-out game is.
"You may be adequate at being able to pull out, but you can't forget about pre-cum," she points out. "It's safer to have a condom on hand no matter what, for her protection, and yours."
RELATED: How to Choose the Best Condom for You
Not only that, but pulling out has zero impact on the prevention of sexually transmitted infections, regardless of whether you do it prior to ejaculation, since those can be transmitted via mucous membrane contact, not semen.
"A condom not only gives you the decent assurance of not getting her pregnant, but also keeps either person from getting potential STDs," adds Riel.
Myth No. 8: Good Sex Lasts a Long Time
Most guys would prefer not to orgasm within a few minutes of penetrative sex in fear of disappointing their partner. Apart from penis size, how long you can last in bed seems to be one of men's most intense sexual fixations. The problem is that their thought process doesn't exactly line up with what women want.
"The average penis-in-vagina sex session doesn't last 25 minutes," says O'Reilly, adding that research shows most penetrative sex lasts between two and seven minutes.
So why are guys so obsessed with marathon sex sessions when their female partners aren't?
"Porn may play a role in shaping this perception," admits O'Reilly. "It's important that you get feedback from your partner — you may believe they want you to last longer during intercourse when in fact, they may not. They may be perfectly satisfied with duration, but desire other types of sex to complement intercourse."
Meaning, instead of shooting for 25 minutes of penetration, making out for a few minutes, engaging in oral sex for 10 minutes, then enjoying 10 minutes of penetration might be a lot more fun for her.
"The only way to know what they want is to ask," says O'Reilly, "and cultivate a relationship in which you can be honest and open with one another."
Don't you feel more educated already?
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Two Chinese kidnapped from Quetta
By our correspondents
Abductees were studying Urdu at local language centre; passer-by shot as he tried to question armed men who were pretending as policemen; no group has claimed responsibility so far; miscreant killed in Kalat raid; schoolteacher shot dead in Turbat
QUETTA: Two Chinese working in Pakistan were kidnapped by armed men pretending to be policemen around midday on Wednesday.
"A Chinese couple was kidnapped from the neighbourhood of Jinnah Town in Quetta today," senior local police official Aitzaz Goraya told AFP. "They were dragged into a vehicle without number plates by three unknown men," he said. One Chinese woman managed to escape as the men began firing in the air to scare off onlookers.
A passer-by, Muhammad Zahir, was shot as he tried to prevent the abduction. He told AFP he saw three men forcing a Chinese woman into a white car but she was resisting and crying.
"I stopped to observe the situation but they had forced the woman in the car by then and were pushing the man. So I rushed to them and asked what they were doing. One of them said, 'We are from the Crime Branch of the police and we are taking them for investigation' and I told them that they should not misbehave with people. Then the driver came out and shot me in my leg," the 35-year-old said. Chinese state media confirmed the kidnapping, while deputy chief of mission in Islamabad Zhao Lijian said the embassy was working towards their release.
He said the pair had been studying Urdu at a language centre. Local police had earlier said they were teaching Chinese. Anwar-ul-Haq Kakar, a Balochistan government spokesman, said, "A Chinese couple has been kidnapped," Kakar told Reuters, adding that officials had earlier mistaken the wounded passer-by for a security guard. "(The passer-by) inquired why they were doing this and they said they were from a law enforcement agency, but when he asked for their identification cards, they shot him," added Kakar.
No group has claimed responsibility for the kidnapping, but in the past militant groups have kidnapped foreigners in Pakistan to seek ransom or drum up publicity for their cause. The Quetta police chief said the couple did not work on the Beijing-funded China-Pakistan Economic Corridor (CPEC) and therefore they did not have guards. Another Chinese woman narrowly evaded the kidnappers, he added.
Balochistan Chief Minister Sanaullah Khan Zehri strongly condemned the kidnapping and ordered the provincial police chief to take all measures for their recovery as soon as possible. He also directed to the relevant authorities to extend help to security forces for ensuring protection of foreigners in their respective areas of Balochistan.
On the other hand, an alleged miscreant was killed and his accomplice captured during a raid in Kalat district.
According to law enforcement agencies sources, the raid was carried out on a tip-off in a compound during which exchange of fire with miscreants also took place. Three law enforcers and the arrested miscreant sustained injuries. Identity of the dead and arrested miscreant could not be ascertained. Separately, unidentified gunmen shot dead a schoolteacher in Turbat. The victim was identified as Shaukat Ali.
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Disobedience Is Essential: Interview with Filmmaker Sebastián Lelio
Sebastián Lelio reflects on his first English language feature, Disobedience, and how art, the individual, and society benefits from rebellion against one's own worldview.
By Paul Risker / 3 December 2018
Sebastián Lelio
Bleecker Street / Curzon Artificial Eye
27 Apr 2018 (US) / 30 Nov 2018 (UK)
Disobedience (2017) tells the story of Ronit (Rachel Weisz), a photographer living and working in Manhattan who returns to her Orthodox Jewish community following the death of her father, the spiritual leader of the community. Ronit, who has been living in exile, is surprised to learn her two childhood friends, Esti (Rachel McAdams) and Dovid (Alessandro Nivola) are now married. Complicating matters are her former close friendship with Dovid, her father's closest disciple, and the old forbidden feelings that resurface between the two women.
Sebastián Lelio's first English language feature is co-written by British playwright Rebecca Lenkiewicz, and is an adaptation of Naomi Alderman's novel. In the same year as completing Disobedience, Lelio also completed A Fantastic Woman (2017), two stories of conflict that complement one another through their contrasts. Lelio notes: "…antagonism in the film comes mainly from the characters themselves and their own belief systems, not the community." Compare this to A Fantastic Woman, in which Marina's (Daniela Vega) future plans with her boyfriend Orlando are interrupted by his sudden death. A trans woman, she's treated with suspicion by the doctors and police and ostracised by the family, who struggle to accept her sexual identity and respect the feelings she and Orlando shared. Both films touch on the theme of identity, yet the internal antagonism of Obedience is juxtaposed with the external antagonism of the filmmaker's previous work.
In conversation with PopMatters, Leilo discusses the need for disobedience in art and life and his intent to create a film that allows the audience to feel the act of disobedience and think about it.
What motivated your decision to tell this story on film?
When I became attached, it was at a time when I was receiving offers to direct in English, and so I was reading a lot of scripts. It was hard for me to find anything that clicked or I could relate to until I heard the basic lines of the story behind Disobedience. I just loved the dynamics between the characters and the particular love triangle, especially the fact that these are human beings that are trying to do their best and who are operating against a backdrop of more or less fixed ideas. I thought it was an interesting opportunity to explore the tension between those two elements. Of course, the fact that Rachel Weisz was going to produce was also a big reason to accept because I have always admired her, so it was very tempting.
Then I read the book, and I liked it, and even though I'm not British or Jewish, because of the processes that the characters were going through, this alien universe seemed at the same time strangely familiar. These are characters that, in the wrong way, are willing to pay the price to move on to the next level and are willing to disobey not only what society commands but to disobey what they thought the world was or reality was. So they are willing to even go against their belief system, which I could relate to.
The idea of disobedience, especially today, becomes particularly urgent; disobedience is understood almost like a human right because if no one disobeys, then the status of everything stays the same and nothing progresses.
While disobedience can create antagonism, it's a form of expression, a door to understanding ourselves and our place in the world more fully. Of course, the childhood association of disobedience as a negative action or type of behaviour is never fully exorcised.
There's always the tension between the forces that want to keep things as they are and the energy that wants to change things. We exist, and we live our lives with that tension, and we would still be in the Middle Ages if it were not for the energy that's behind the idea of disobedience. So any change factor is hiding behind the idea of the power of disobedience – and obedience is the word that sounds negative to me – that sounds dangerous and is the concept that we should be more observant of because that means you are following a pattern most probably assigned by someone else. There's a liberating force in the idea of disobedience, and behind it, there's the idea of individual freedom. If it were not for the different heroes in history that have had the braveness to disobey, then we would still be trapped in very old problems.
When we think about film history and film movements, for example, the French New Wave, in essence, they are a disobedient group of filmmakers challenging convention. In cinema, and more broadly, in storytelling, there's always the discussion as to whether we are losing originality. Is it necessary in cinema to have filmmakers who are disobedient? Do you also fear there may be a point in filmmaking where originality will cease?
Well, those are two questions because the problem of originality can be understood as a different one, it can be analysed separately. But I would say that all the films that end up being referential and somehow open a new expressive path have been disobedient for their times. If you think of 2001: A Space OdysseyA Space Odyssey (Kubrick, 1968), an iconic film for science fiction, or if you think of 8½ (Fellini, 1963), which is an iconic film in terms of what modern cinema is, those films have done things that were incorrect at their time. They were doing things that could be perceived as disobedient, and yeah, it's the same energy. It's the energy of change, and that, of course, is vital to any artistic expression.
Usually, the beauty of disobeying in art is that society has given the artist the freedom to explore and to try everything, to descend into the abyss, to make any moral frontier blurry, and to explore the dark side. So in that sense, in film, music, and in theatre, disobedience is almost a must.
One of the observations of Disobedience is to look to our role as authors of religion, our ability to make it tolerant or oppressive and to evolve its message and understanding of how it relates to human nature.
I'm not that interested in what religions say or claim; that's not my focus, and in Disobedience, it's the same way. Religion is understood as a belief system, which interests me because we need belief systems to operate in the world. We can be atheists or agnostics, mystical or esoteric, or we can belong to a religion, but what we do by operating within one of those belief systems is no more than that. A belief is a thought on which someone insists, and by repetition, that thought becomes a belief, and religion is a belief on which many people insist, repeat, and agree.
So everything comes from thought, and what interested me is that antagonism in Disobedience comes mainly from the characters themselves and their belief systems, not the community. They have to go through this crisis which means the belief system they were operating within is somehow insufficient or deeply connected to the challenge they are facing. So, even more beautiful than disobeying what society or your religion imposes on you, is to disobey what you thought the world was. That's even more interesting to explore as a filmmaker.
The meaning of life is learning about ourselves and accepting our natures, with which comes growth and change. This is the journey we are on, regardless of community or belief systems.
The three main characters in Disobedience present a series of parallel journeys, each at different points or on different paths, and yet for each to move on, their experiences with one another are vital. In storytelling, you can describe characters as not only the tool of the storyteller but also the engine of a story.
[Disobedience is] a character study. It's very committed to the characters because, formally, there's always one of them in a frame. The point of view never abandons them, and the camera never pans to a different character. It's always about Dovid, Ronit, or Esti, the three of them or the two of them. So it's a strategy of believing in them and following them wherever they take us.
Through this strategy of inviting – or forcing if you want the spectator to see each situation through the perspective of these characters and no others — the spectator ends up feeling the world the characters inhabit, which is more important than thinking. So it becomes a very intimate cinematic experience because you hopefully end up connected to their journeys and their psychology, to how they are finding ways to overcome the particular crossroads they are each at.
I recall reading that for art to endure, it must be discussed. While a film exists in the moment it is seen by an audience, the discussion in which ideas and impressions are exchanged is also a moment in which a film exists. Could we say a film is alive in one moment more than the other, or are both equal points in which Disobedience lives and breathes?
A film is a device that is made to be seen, and even if you are making very art-house and militant cinema, and you don't care if it's only seen by ten people, it's the same thing where you want ten people to see it. Otherwise, it would not exist. So the relationship between what is projected on the screen and what the spectator projects upon that projection is what cinema is.
A film doesn't exist until it is seen by someone, and then given its strength, it can survive that experience or moment of being seen for the first time. It can have a new life and keep living through the discussions and the memories of audiences because it remains alive within the spectators. If it's a really powerful film, say a classic, then it's to stay forever young. It will always be fresh, new, and alive; to be discussed by someone somewhere. So that's the power of film, but it comes alive, or it meets its destiny when it is, of course, finally seen.
Disobedience was released in cinemas and On Demand in the UK 30 November 2018 by Curzon Artificial Eye.
TAGS director interview drama homosexuality interview religion romance sebastián lelio
RESOURCES AROUND THE WEB
Disobedience (2018) - Rotten Tomatoes
Disobedience | Sebastián Lelio | Trailer | D'A 2018 - YouTube
Disobedience (2017) - IMDb
Disobedience - Official Site
The Best Metal of 2018
The Best Music of 2018


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The Big Picture: Black Women Activists and the FBI
This is the 32nd installment of The Big Picture, a public symposium on what's at stake in Trump's America, co-organized by Public Books and NYU's Institute for Public Knowledge. Read IPK Director Eric Klinenberg's introduction here.
According to a recently leaked FBI report, the agency is now watching a new group they have labeled "Black Identity Extremists." These "BIE" groups, the Bureau asserts, are motivated by "perceptions ...
By Ashley Farmer
According to a recently leaked FBI report, the agency is now watching a new group they have labeled "Black Identity Extremists." These "BIE" groups, the Bureau asserts, are motivated by "perceptions of police brutality against African Americans" and have "spurred an increase in premeditated, retaliatory lethal violence against law enforcement." The FBI's renewed targeting of black activists coincides with the Trump administration's efforts to label minorities—Mexicans, Muslims, and African Americans—as potential national security threats. The recent report should not come as a surprise. For more than a century, the American government has surveilled and harassed activists from marginalized communities. However, organizers from these marginalized communities have also established a long tradition of resisting this suppression.
No surveillance program is more intertwined with the federal government than the Counterintelligence Program (COINTELPRO). Headed by FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover, COINTELPRO began in 1956 to track and disrupt the activities of the Communist Party. The program expanded significantly in the 1960s, aiming to, in Hoover's words, "expose, disrupt, misdirect, discredit, or otherwise neutralize the activities" of a range of moderate, progressive, and radical groups.1 The federal government sanctioned decades-long surveillance on a wide range of activists, including Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, and groups like the Black Panther Party and the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP).
At Hoover's behest, a legion of special agents wiretapped organizers' homes; followed their families and harassed them with menacing phone calls that threatened to expose family secrets; posed as activists and infiltrated organizations; and raided the offices and homes of activists—all actions that periodically led to agents killing those targeted men and women.
The male victims of such surveillance have gotten the lion's share of attention over the years. Yet many women, too, were targeted. Their stories of resistance are important not just as historical footnotes, but also in helping today's generation of activists as they struggle to navigate the increasingly perilous currents of our moment.
In the 1950s, the Bureau hounded women organizers whom they deemed to be "subversives" and "communists." Most of the women whom they targeted, however, were simply local-level activists engaged in labor and civil rights organizing within progressive groups. As COINTELPRO expanded, so too did Hoover's tracking of black women. By the 1960s, this intensified, with special agents surveilling black women activists who led welfare rights organizations, those who engaged in voter registration work through the NAACP and the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee (SNCC), as well as more radical groups like the Black Panther Party. The FBI's ever-growing list of "threats" included activists ranging from black nationalist "Queen Mother" Audley Moore to NAACP and SNCC leader Ella Baker to novelists and poets Pauli Murray and Sonia Sanchez, among many others.
For more than a century, the American government has surveilled and harassed activists from marginalized communities.
The Bureau used a network made up largely of white men, so-called "special agents," to monitor black women activists. Surveillance could mean a special agent walking ten steps behind as activists strolled in the park with their children. It could materialize as an unfamiliar face in a community meeting. It could resemble a friendly neighbor who asked a few too many questions. Despite the harassment, these black women labored, organized, and survived, developing multifaceted strategies for challenging surveillance.
A central goal of the Bureau was to identify and isolate social justice activists in order to scare them into submission and silence. In response, many activists directly confronted the FBI. Some women, like Audley Moore, volunteered for questioning. Moore was a lifelong radical activist, with ties to major progressive and radical organizations throughout the 60 years spanning the 1930s to the 1990s. During the Great Depression, she organized black workers to fight for economic justice. In the 1940s and 1950s, she supported black soldiers and veterans, as well as poor and working-class black women victimized by the state. By the 1960s, she was considered a seasoned organizer and mentored younger activists, including members of the Black Panther Party.
Moore's indispensable role in social justice organizing drew Hoover's ire. The FBI surveilled her from the 1930s until the 1980s. As the Bureau performed its interrogations, Moore let them know that they too were under scrutiny. When they brought her in for interrogation, she turned their inquiries back on them. She questioned the FBI agents about their suppression tactics and rebuked their racism. "Without being asked," the agents noted, she confirmed that she was a member of multiple radical organizations and remarked that she "had noticed nothing but White men" in the building, arguing that they must not hire black agents. Moore ended the interview by asserting her resistance to oppression, stating that "she would not be a witness" against other activists in court and that "she did not wish to be interviewed again."
Black Lives Under Surveillance
By Brandi Thompson Summers
Artists such as poet Nikki Giovanni publicized the FBI's surveillance in their craft. In her 1968 poem "A Short Essay of Affirmation Explaining Why (With Apologies to the Federal Bureau of Investigation)," Giovanni pinpointed the Bureau's tactics, how they placed "That little microphone / In our teeth / Between our thighs / Or anyplace." The Bureau's insidious techniques gave rise to black activists' pervasive and well-founded paranoia about spying and infiltration. Giovanni defended those shaken by the Bureau's ubiquitous infiltrations, noting that those activists who seemed like they talked "to themselves" were really responding to surveillance or "kn[ew] who [they were] talking to."2
Black women activists also banded together to combat the Bureau's dogged pursuit of their families. They created networks to help care for children, thwart intelligence gathering, and provide financial support when they and their families lost their jobs and homes, and when their children were expelled from school. Some women moved in together or closer to one another to help share the burden of raising and protecting their children. Others met regularly to discuss politics and practical ways to survive, including tactics for evading their FBI details, strategies for passing notes to friends and family members who had gone underground, and the formation of defense committees to help ease the financial strain on families under surveillance.
These networks also functioned as the organizers' own forms of intelligence. While defending their families, they shared organizing information, conferred with one another about how to strategize in legal cases against the Bureau, and discussed their personal struggles of surviving state oppression. Such relationships were a key part of their resistance to authoritarianism and helped abate the often-overlooked personal effects of state surveillance.
Black women activists' intimate knowledge of authoritarianism gave them the material to theorize about how to mobilize against oppression.
Organizers who were members of what the FBI deemed "black hate groups" often wound up behind bars. In the 1960s and 1970s, the government jailed them, oftentimes on trumped-up charges of everything from their membership in allegedly subversive organizations to supposedly supplying arms for violent confrontations to kidnapping. These activists, including Mae Mallory, Angela Davis, Ericka Huggins, and many others, represented some of the Bureau's most high-profile attempts to jail black thinkers and organizers based on false claims about "premeditated, retaliatory lethal violence against law enforcement," the same charges being levied against so-called Black Identity Extremists today.
The imprisoned activists and intellectuals challenged the surveillance state through writing. They developed a vibrant body of literature that spanned regions, organizational affiliations, and political orientations, and that documented the mental, physical, and psychological abuse they endured as COINTELPRO targets. They also used their intellectual production to expose the multilayered logic of state persecution, connecting the federal government's surveillance tactics to state police forces' subversion of legal codes to local jail wardens' violations of their civil liberties.
Whether it was Huggins's poetry about her experiences as a political prisoner, Mallory's prison letters warning black organizers about FBI and State Department tactics, or Davis's searing analyses of the inner workings of state-sanctioned surveillance and imprisonment, black women organizers produced publications aimed at addressing the intersectional and insidious reach of and potential resistance to surveillance. Such intimate knowledge of authoritarianism gave these black women the material to theorize about how to mobilize against oppression. Their publications offer critical roadmaps to the groups who have already been or will soon be labeled as subversive organizations.
Reading as Inoculation
By Rebecca Zorach
The current FBI's labeling of activist groups as "extremists" signals the depth and reach of surveillance and suppression that we are likely to endure during this administration. To survive, we will need to rely on the knowledge of those who are intimately familiar with these practices. Black women activists from Moore to Giovanni, Huggins to Davis, have offered a multifaceted program of action. They have shown us that we must consistently and publicly expose the government's tactics. We must also close ranks around those who are drawing government fire by offering financial and emotional support. Finally, we must create an intersectional coalition to fight this oppression.
Drawing on their own experiences, black women organizers offer us theories of resistance that encompass organizers' personal and political lives. We can be inspired by their courage and rely on their knowledge at this moment when the surveillance systems of the state have, once more, placed progressive and radical activists firmly in their sights.
J. Edgar Hoover, Memorandum to All FBI Offices on "Counter Intelligence Program, Black Nationalist – Hate Groups, Internal Security," August 25, 1967. ↩
Nikki Giovanni, The Collected Poetry of Nikki Giovanni (HarperCollins, 2008), p. 21. ↩
Featured image: Angela Davis. Photograph by Thierry Ehrmann / Flickr
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