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Tag: Carly
October 2, 2018 October 2, 2018 Lousy Minx
Rusty only continues to be more enigmatic. I still don't really know what his deal is, and I'm to the point now where it doesn't even seem as if it's even worth trying to figure out anymore. Or if there really is anything worthwhile to figure out.
I dutifully continued on in silence at our resurrected Words With Friends rivalry which suddenly resumed itself in the last week of August after almost 5 weeks of no contact. I was initially content with just letting "us" continue to exist in that realm solely and really did make a novel effort to maintain that course of action (even though I was confused and had many questions)…until I got drunk at the beach over Labor Day weekend.
It was around that time that I sent him some testy texts to remind him to take his turn. He didn't initially respond, but no worries because I doubled down by eventually following up with a selfie I took of myself and my friend Carly with the declaration: Fuck you because I look good. (Which I did.)
Surprisingly, I eventually got some feedback via text that Rusty had "liked" the image. I told him that that was surprising, to which he only responded with one of his notorious shrug emojis. Wtf, dude?
A few days later, when the Colin Kaepernick Nike ad broke into the news and memes started popping up left and right to make fun of it, I happened to send him one. He eventually sent one back. And from there commenced several days of us just trading funny memes back and forth.
Then on September 11th, of all days, something weird happened. In the early afternoon, I got a text from a random number – "Whats up." I answered "Whats up" in turn, all the while checking back through my text message archives in my email to see if I could find out who it was. I found nothing in my text archives from that phone number going back several years. Hm. I looked up the area code to find that it was a Wisconsin-based number. Weirder still, as I don't know anyone from there that I could recall.
When I received a reply asking me where I was at at the moment, I chalked it up to it being a wrong number and suggested so. This person only declared that they had the right number and then sent me a picture of myself saying "You're hot."
Yet this mystery person refused to identify themselves after I asked several times, so I immediately sensed some shenanigans afoot and told them quite bluntly several times to stop fucking texting me. Said person only proceeded to call me crazy and to spring forth with laughing-face emojis.
My immediate thoughts, in terms of the few people I could think of that would do something like this, was that perhaps it was Ben. I haven't talked to him in ages, and it didn't seem fathomable that he would suddenly appear out of the blue to do something like that, but in terms of the kind of personality type that I know for a fact likes to fuck with people with no rhyme or reason, that's all Ben, all day.
But no sooner had I pointedly asked if it was in fact Ben did it hit me that the writing style reminded me an awful lot of Rusty. Specifically, it was the fact that this person kept asking me things like "What are you doing rn" or "Where are you at rn" that immediately called Rusty to mind. "Rn" is an abbreviation that Rusty has regularly used in our text conversations to denote the phrase "right now" and is the ONLY person I have texted with in recent memory who using that specific terminology. On top of that, when I mentioned the Gaslamp district, said mystery person implied a familiarity with it that could only be attributed to someone who was familiar with San Diego – like Rusty.
But once I had mentioned Ben's name, mystery texter took that and ran with it, trying to insist several times that it was in fact Ben. Yet when I pointedly declared several times that I think it's actually Rusty, this person ignored any mention of that. The last thing I heard from this number, after I once again said I think it's Rusty, was "You've lost your mind." And that was that.
The next day, I painstakingly analyzed the mystery number's text patterns against previous texts I've gotten from Rusty to compare them, and I become 95% certain, just based off Rusty's text patterns, emoji usage, syntax, etc. that the mystery texter was him. I just couldn't fathom what his purpose was.
Over the next couple of days, I asked Rusty through his real phone number if that had been him. He finally answered one night to tell me that I'm "still cray" and then said he didn't know what I was talking about. Yet lo and behold, after 2 months of the silent treatment toward me, and coincidentally only after I accused him of being said mystery texter, he suddenly starts responding to my texts and we have somewhat of a real conversation again. Hm. It was nothing astoundingly productive besides him continuing to call me crazy, even though "at least I am pretty." I warned him to be careful – that that's the nicest thing he has said to me in months so he might be getting soft.
I then suggested that maybe it is actually him who is crazy. He surprisingly affirmed that suggestion and asked if I agreed. I told him I think he is a little crazy, to be honest. He asked why. I told him I think he knows why. He wanted my perception, so I said I would think most events since around July 2 would cover it. He said the same could go for me. I told him that whatever I said or did was not to purposely hurt him, but I cannot say the same for him. He laughed it off. We had somewhat of a more serious conversation about some things that had been going on at my place of business, and from there, and since then, he has been more responsive through text, even if intermittently.
I've said things to him along the lines of how, as I still do think he was the mystery texter, that maybe that was his way of trying to get me to talk to him because he can't readily admit he was sorry for everything. I told him pointedly the other night that I think he has missed me.
He either doesn't respond to any attempts at any type of analytical or real conversation or laughs everything off. Or tries to be belittling and condescending such as when he responded with this:
I point out that he has been texting me as well; he exclaims that I have sent the majority of the texts out of the last 100 or so we have exchanged. Okay? I'm not the one texting you from fake numbers, dude. He still insists that wasn't him (but I know it was).
Apparently he is deployed somewhere at the moment. I tell him to let me know if he needs anything. That was 2 days ago when we last talked. I haven't said anything to him since and really don't plan to.
He finally made a move against me in our Words With Friends rematch that I started 10 or so days ago, so I guess it's business as usual.
I really don't understand him.
Men Ben, Carly, Rusty 1 Comment
Getting Ornery in My Old Age
July 17, 2018 February 20, 2019 Lousy Minx
It was the last day of March, 2017, and I innocuously responded to a post made in an enormous private Facebook group created to be sort of a digital watering hole for people in my profession. It was just a basic post asking where everyone was from. I responded in the thread's infancy, so I kept getting the subsequent notifications when other people would comment. Whenever anyone else said they were from my home state, I would go and Like the comment, for solidarity's sake…or maybe just because I was just bored at work and dicking around.
Not long after liking one of these comments, I got a friend request from its writer. I noticed we had a few mutual friends and that he worked in my state and thus saw no harm in accepting a colleague as a friend – I do that pretty often. Not long after I accepted, he started messaging me about where I'm from and where I work. For all intents and purposes, we shall affectionately refer to this person as Lucifer (definitely no foreshadowing at all going on here).
Lucifer started off very polite and charming and extremely complimentary. He made it known right away that he thought I was beautiful and that he was definitely approaching me in a romantic sense. Only Lucifer was at the moment deployed to the Middle East as part of an Army National Guard unit and wouldn't be back until late July.
It was for that reason, and the fact that he is several years younger than me, that I started off very guarded with him and took him and all his flattery with a grain of salt. But Lucifer was persistent and before long he grew on me. Whereas initially I was indifferent to him reaching out and about talking to him in general, before I knew it there became a time when I started looking forward to his messages and realizing that they put a smile on my face. I started liking Lucifer. After all, Lucifer had made it very clear that he was looking for a serious dating scenario when he got back from deployment. And it didn't hurt that he was fairly cute.
When I started developing more of an attachment to Lucifer, I made sure to pore through his Facebook page to look for any evidence of any current romantic involvements; I could not find anything recent. The last pictures I could see that looked like it could've been a girlfriend were from a wedding in 2015. Otherwise, there was no other photographic evidence to be found. I'd monitor his posts fervently when he made any to see if any suspicious comments were made by any females. Nada.
Now, as our talking progressed and Lucifer appeared very consistent and genuine with his contact and his intentions, admittedly, our talk turned increasingly steamier over time. Even though I told him right off the bat that I was definitely NOT planning on being any kind of x-rated entertainment for him, and he seemed okay with that, eventually things did progress toward that end. But it was okay, because I liked him and he seemed into me and it was fun. And I also thought it was sweet that when I asked if he needed anything over there, like supply-wise, he only asked for letters. I ended up writing him 3.
Only…at certain points, most notably starting around Memorial Day weekend, his contact started to wane a little bit. Whereas I was used to hearing from him almost daily, it started being a couple to several days before he would say anything to me. And while I gave him the littlest bit of the benefit of the doubt given that he was deployed, it was hard for me to keep on doing so when I could clearly see him active on Facebook, liking posts and things of that nature.
Then, not only was his contact becoming more sporadic, but slowly but surely it became evermore focused on sexual talk when he did bother to say anything to me. There were several times that I called him on this stuff but he would just say he's sorry but it's just been busy…he's just lonely…blah, blah, blah.
I knew deep down that something was amiss, I just really wanted to believe him, I guess. But what really started to grind my gears was the fact that, as his deployment timeline started wearing down and eventually it was just a matter of weeks before he got back to the good ol' USA, he wasn't at all forthcoming about any kind of general time frame or anything. Everything I managed to scrounge up regarding his unit's homecoming was via Facebook. Nothing from him.
When his unit came got back to the United States, they had to go to Texas to be demobilized or whatever. So there's Lucifer, finally back in the United States with normal phone capabilities. Did I get a phone call? A text? Nope. And I had made sure to give him my number at one point, so he could make "real" contact with me – I figured he'd be delighted to after having been relegated to Facebook Messenger chat the whole time, but nope. Not a peep.
I'm not dumb, although I act like it sometimes. I knew the writing was on the wall when the guy who had spent the last 4 months romancing me over Facebook Messenger did not at all bother to actually make phone contact now that he certainly could. But alas, I held out, certainly not bothering to trust my own well-honed intuition when it comes to these things – because what's the fun in that?
He was in Texas for like a week before coming back home for good. I got a Facebook message the night he came home to let me know he was back. We vaguely discussed plans to hang out in the future. I told him I understood that he firstly has family and friends and business to attend to now that he's home, but it would be nice if we could hang out sooner rather than later. He seemed to agree.
And then…nothing, for the most part. He wasn't even really making conversation with me. I kind of called him out on that at one point and he claimed his house flooded and he's been busy with that. It was like the first weekend in August at this point; he had been home for just shy of 2 weeks. And over that Friday and Saturday, those 2 consecutive days, he said we could hang out and then he abruptly canceled on me both times. Ugh. Then back to radio silence.
One night during the second weekend in August, I had swung by a buddy's retirement celebration and then met Carly and her boyfriend out after. I was also waiting for Scout to make an appearance. But there I was innocently browsing Facebook and what do I spy? Lucifer has been tagged in several pictures at a wedding with a lovely date.
Wow…really?
And that's exactly what I remarked on one of the pictures, being as I was absolutely floored, although really not too surprised. His date was someone who had first ended up on my radar maybe around the beginning of June when I saw that he had tagged her name, along with one of his brothers, on a music artist's post. All he wrote was her name so there was absolutely no context to it, but upon noticing that she was a very pretty girl who lived around his hometown, I kind of had a feeling about her. But her page was fairly locked down so I wasn't able to glean much other than that he was all over every picture or status she would put up. I did find my way to her Twitter, but there wasn't really much to go on from there either. All I knew was that I felt a certain kind of way about the tagging, and my instincts turned out to be correct.
Well, unfortunately, as I never had a phone number for Lucifer, and he had already proven to be quite unreliable with checking his FB messages, at least when it came to me, I had no other recourse but to call him out on one of the pictures: "Really, Lucifer?" He promptly blocked me. Ah, but not before the date noticed (it was her post and he was tagged). She ended up sending me a message later in the night asking if there's something she should know, and we got down to business.
The gist of it was that she and Lucifer had been acquaintances for several years, but were never really single around the same time so nothing ever took off. Around the time he started creeping on me, he started sliding in her DMs as well. And clearly he saw more value in her as a potential girlfriend since she was obviously the one he came running home to date. They were at that very moment out of town together for the wedding of one of his friends. So I surmised that all my instincts had in fact been correct and that he had just been pretty much using me for entertainment after a certain point.
At this point, it's not like I had any clear cut ammo against Lucifer, but I was just trying to be honest and let her know what's what. I showed her screenshots of things he had said while he was still deployed and clearly telling her the same shit (although in her case, I guess he actually meant it). According to her, he had asked her to be his girlfriend maybe a week prior to this, and I had clear screenshots of our ill-fated attempts to hang out, which would've been subsequent to their relationship starting. But I guess none of that was truly hardcore evidence of any wrongdoing on his part, depending on how you wanted to swing it. I mean, there was some slight overlap but the fact is is that we had never actually met and while he was being slightly shady, there was really nothing conclusive. I was just being honest about what went on – she could take it as she wanted.
But funnily enough, she said she had had some suspicions about me from some activity on Lucifer's Facebook. Ha. Which really did make me seriously question his intelligence level since, given that me and the GF were both friends with him on Facebook until that night, what did he really think was going to happen?
She did try to play the strong, empowered, "take no shit" woman role for a bit – saying he's done with him and all this and that. But the fact was is that they were currently staying in a hotel together (he drove and had been drinking, so they were stuck). So I knew the likelihood of him being able to sweet talk his way back into her good graces by the next morning was pretty high. And lo and behold, the next day I heard from a friend that they had made it "Facebook official." So you know it was extra serious then.
So, of course, Lucifer was just one additional jackass in a long, storied line of jackasses. Nothing really new. But I think what really bothered me about the situation in particular is just the abject callousness in how he discarded me immediately once his ass was on the line, and then that was just that to him. I'm not particularly angry at the fact that he had been talking to someone else all along and then set his sights on her – that's just an inherently sucky part about dating…you're always kind of implicitly starring in the bootleg version of "The Bachelor" – it was just the fact that he never bothered to address anything with me.
I never really got closure, I guess. Like, to date (and this happened last August), I have never heard a word from him. Not a "thanks but no thanks," not an "I'm sorry" or anything like that. I mean, you don't have to want to date me, but I kind of feel like it takes a bit of a psychopathic mind to have spent 4 months befriending someone, getting her to trust you, asking her to write to you, and then just kicking her to the curb without explanation or warning without a second thought. Like, am I not a fucking person?
No worries, though. Karma is a bitch sometimes.
Around the time I got my surgery that fall, I found myself with a lot of time on my hands since I had to take it easy for several weeks. And still feeling a certain kind of way about the Lucifer situation. So one day I came up with a fantastic plan to try and screw with him.
I rounded up some pictures of him, typed out a couple of super basic, bare-bones lines about his interests, and I made him a Plenty of Fish account. And the work pretty much did itself from there. I did reach out to a few girls at first with basic greetings, but I really didn't have the energy or inclination to actually carry on conversations with people as if I am really him. Especially since a couple of people I reached out to indicated that they had interacted with him previously. Not exactly knowing the nature of these interactions, I didn't want to risk blowing my cover too soon.
And I quickly learned that I could be way more subtle anyway, because Plenty of Fish shows you everyone who looks at your profile. So all I really had to do was to set my location to his town and find as many girls in the vicinity as possible so I could look at their profiles and be in their history. I figured that someone eventually would be a friend of the GF's and it'd get back to her somehow that "Lucifer" is creeping on Plenty of Fish. And eventually, I did strike gold because I did run across someone who obviously knew of them:
I think I followed up with "just looking for friends" which is exactly what an asshole like him would probably say when he gets caught. Never heard anything back though and didn't want to press it so as not to be too obvious. I wasn't really sure what I expected out of this adventure anyway, but I was happy with that if it caused him even the tiniest bit of strife somehow.
While enacting this course of action, I was also inadvertently able to obtain further evidence of just how much of an asshole he is: one girl ended up reaching out to "him" and it was immediately clear that he knew her somehow. It turned out that they went to high school together and that she had liked him back then but he apparently never liked her. But then about a year before, they had talked a bit and decided to meet up at a park. I get the impression that he just wasn't into her in person because apparently he just kind of upped and left really quickly and then kind of ghosted on her. She was still a little salty about that, but she did seem to really like him still. God knows why.
That was the only thing that made me feel a little bad up about what I was doing. I had 0 scruples about screwing with him in itself because he deserved it wholeheartedly, but this girl was so obviously into him and excited to be talking to him and thinking she actually had a chance.
She kept pressing for phone contact, but I told her "I" had a girlfriend and was kind of just trying to sort all that out first. She started getting really pressed and impatient. She claimed to have been able to dig up his number and then asked if she could text, but I told her that wasn't a good idea for now. Clearly I didn't want her actually reaching out to him because he'd obviously know that he wasn't on Plenty of Fish. BUT I think she ended up doing just that. When she didn't speak for a few days, I hit her up because I had a feeling, and she told me she knew my account was fake. Ugh…well…ya got me there!
At that point, having been discovered, and not really knowing where else to go with this because I had already seemed to make contact with someone who knows the GF, I deleted it.
Later in the year, I happened to find out through a little birdie that Lucifer and his GF had broken up. I think they made it to maybe early November (my POF adventures took place in mid-to-late October). One of the reasons cited by the now ex-GF was Lucifer creeping around on Plenty of Fish. When she called him on it, he tried to say his identity had been stolen. LOL. There were also questionable meetings with other women mixed in the reasoning as well, so while he did get falsely accused from the POF angle, he still in fact is a certified asshole and got everything he deserved.
He was still trying to win back her affections as of her birthday in December, because he apparently sent her flowers, which she promptly threw away. Awww.
And these days, per her Instagram account, she's now seemingly enthralled with someone else who is not Lucifer.
And we all lived happily ever after. Except Lucifer, because fuck him.
Affair, Dating, Drama, Men, Pictures Carly, Catfish, Lucifer, Plenty of Fish, Scout 4 Comments
September 28, 2017 February 20, 2019 Lousy Minx
Well I like someone again. And to feel for someone else after the previous debacle (the source of which I will affectionately refer to from here on out as Adolf because I truly do believe he is a depraved, psychotic asshole and I will get around to writing more in depth about it eventually, maybe) is a relief because it means I am truly over him, but there is only a dead end at the end of this tunnel and I already know it so I'm not going to bother deluding myself about it.
I was still kind of reeling from the Adolf implosion when I matched with Ben on Bumble 9 days later (August 21), but I found him especially attractive with those high cheekbones and teal colored eyes. Not to mention that he looks quite dashing in an Army officer's uniform. He stood out from the normal Bumble crowd immediately and I was excited when we matched. I obligatorily initiated conversation soon after and we mutually engaged without hassle.
He expressed reticence very early on about our distance, which was actually about 20 miles exaggerated to the north at the time because I was at work. However even normally he does live about a 45-minute drive south of me. I guess that's maybe far or maybe not, depending on how much a person is worth to you. In any case, the conversation kept up and we even got around to making hang out plans for the next Tuesday that same day. He expressed an interest in FaceTiming beforehand, I guess to make sure he wasn't getting bamboozled, which I thought was pretty smart and even better than a phone call.
We ended up doing so the next night. I'm Team Android though so he had to settle for video chatting through FB Messenger. He did once again express discontent with the distance factor, commenting that he didn't think he would be able to go without seeing a girlfriend during the week. I mean, we don't really live THAT far where we could only see each other on weekends, but whatever, dude. It was kind of annoying that that seemed to be some big hang-up of his, but besides that the conversation was not lacking by any means.
After we hung up he followed up with several amusing video clips of him good-naturedly harassing an older female colleague at work that he had described as his "work wife." Around that time I took it upon myself to take a glance at his FB page, and what do I spy but a picture of him in early July with a female, captioned with a seemingly excited tone with "she's in town." Yikes. Knowing that he had only been re-stationed in this area since June, I made the assumption that this have been some type of girlfriend from his previous assignment. Or maybe even the one before that. Or who knows. There were no more pictures of them that I had access to from his page, and there was no tag for her to try to creep on her end. Nevertheless it was clear that this was some kind of special person to him, and that it was definitely a romantic scenario as inferred from some of his FB friends' comments.
Well, damn. Slightly disappointed, but oh well…only a guy I knew from Bumble for 18 hours. Maybe I should've let it go then, but it felt good to actually be attracted to someone else and thus feeling like I was almost over the Adolf hurdle, so I ended up reaching out to him again through Bumble the day following the video chat and we chatted like normal. I didn't feel like I had the right to question him about anything like some crazy person, so I didn't.
I met Carly at the beach for an extended weekend and ended up staying 2 impromptu extra days, so we didn't meet up that next Tuesday after all. We were still sporadically conversing through Bumble over that time but it was mostly me just being drunk and saying stupid things or sending suggestive pictures. I had kind of already written him off as a dating prospect so I wasn't really caring about trying to present the best impression of myself, but I was still highly attracted to him and still interested in at least something, so I suggested the following: "So I feel like we probably shouldn't date…but should have sex though." He said that was fine if we hit it off. And then cue several bouts of x-rated conversation. And giving him my phone # so we could transition to texting, which he did pretty promptly.
We ended up making plans to hang out that Sat (Sept. 2) at about 5, originally, I think. We talked that morning to confirm and he gave me his home address. I knew it was just supposed to be a hookup type of thing, but I still didn't really feel comfortable starting things off that way. I suggested maybe we initially meet somewhere in public that is nearby, and he suggested a local bar. Cool. But then that afternoon he started trying to push the time back 2 hours to 7 because of "college football." Gee, thanks. I was annoyed because I felt like it was just some type of head game, so I suggested 6. We agreed on 6:30. Fine. Oh but then I get another text right as I'm about to get ready to suggest pushing it back to the next day.
Um, no. I told him I had plans. I really didn't, but no. Because first I got the "college football" bullshit and then now he was telling me how tired he was from running and working out. This all from a guy whose Bumble profile featured a mini-rant in it about people making plans and then not sticking to them. Right.
A minor skirmish ensued through a series of ensuing texts where he told me that if I wanted to just come to his place and bang and then leave then that was fine, but he's just tired and not leaving his apartment today. And I, in turn, got irritated because although I knew it was kind of just a hookup, I didn't really want it to be so overt. When I contested that, he sent me a screenshot of my fatal Bumble drunken rumblings about just sex and then reiterated in so many words that he didn't want to date someone so "far" away. Whatever.
I stopped answering after a while and went out and ate Mexican food and drank margaritas and felt better. But then the next day I felt kind of bad because I did give him a hard time even though he was just freely going along with what I said was cool. So I tried to be nice and flirty and essentially get us back to solid ground again, but his responses were terse and I wasn't really feeling like his interest was anything but "Eh…" The last thing I said to him was that he was a hard nut to crack. He never responded and I resolved from then on not give him the time of day any longer. So I didn't.
I noticed later that week that he had deleted his Bumble account. Not blocked or unmatched me because the conversation was still there, but he was showing up as a "Deleted User" and I had never seen that before and so had to do some research into what that means. It definitely just means he deleted his account altogether and not me specifically. So I figured he had found what he was looking for and was now out of the game. And maybe felt a small pang of regret at not having gotten the chance to meet him, but oh well. I had started entertaining an Air Force guy who I saw a couple of times that week and was semi-interested in for all of 4 days, but then that ended up fizzling out and I was back to the status quo.
Ten days after Ben and I last talked, I'm minding my business at work when I check my phone to find a FB message from him. It's a video clip of him staring into the camera with those pretty eyes while eating a sweet potato for several seconds, culminating with him waving and and blowing a kiss. WTF?!
I asked him if that was meant specifically for me and he says yes. Okay, random…but then "catching up" conversation ensues. We eventually get around to agreeing on trying the hanging out thing again and decide on that Friday evening. It's clear his motivation is sexual, but I'm perfectly with it this time.
I get to his area on Friday around 8 PM. Although he knew I was coming at this time, somehow he is still just finishing up a treadmill run and still needing to shower, so he meets me outside of his building and gives me a fist bump as a greeting since he's sweaty. Even still, he's tall and broad and cute. He takes me in his building and up to his apartment, which is kind of high end and very nice. He turns the living room TV on for me and promises me a quick shower. I take that opportunity to assess my surroundings.
As I'm exploring, I notice a birthday card on top of a pile of books. The outside looks benign enough, so I decide to be nosy. I already had a feeling, and yep…there's pretty much a love letter written inside. Someone addressing him as "my love" and declaring that the best gift she can give him for his 38th year is her love and then signing off with a pet name. Cute. Oh well. Not anything I didn't expect, given what I saw on his Facebook timeline. Whether it is the same girl or not, I have no way of knowing.
After he gets out of the shower and gets himself together, he offers me a drink. He happens to have some vodka and 0-calorie flavored seltzer on hand – perfect! He fixes it for me but I only get a couple of sips in before he wants to show me the view from the roof. We take the elevator up to the roof level, where it turns out there is a pool and a little clubhouse setting with an outside seating area. Pretty sweet. It's a warm, clear night so we sit outside on patio for a little while admiring the view and talking. But then I'm ready to get back to my drink so we go back to his apartment.
We settle on the couch and talk while I sip my drink. I think he had opened a beer initially, but didn't like the taste or something, so abandoned it. He's very talkative and we converse for maybe an hour or so before he wants to take things to the bedroom, which I was ready for by then. Decent sex, nothing mind-blowing. The first time with someone is always a little awkward. He had to keep pausing from time to time so he didn't cum too quick, which I guess was admirable, even if annoying.
After we finished, he offered me another drink. I took him up on it and he had a beer this time and we sat on the couch talking for another 45 minutes or so. I was worried about my car because the parking is atrocious in the area and so he directed me to park in a Whole Foods lot which is only good until about 10 PM, so around that time he walked me out to my car and that was that. Good times, I guess.
I thought he was hot and nice and that the sex had potential, but I left with the full intent of leaving it at just the hookup and not making any more contact. But around Wednesday, curiosity started getting the best of me. I just wanted to see how he would react if I said something, I guess. Or if he would respond at all. I messaged him with something silly and he replied. Eventually I added on "maybe we can do it again some time." He said he hoped so and then told me to let him know when I'm free. I asked about either Friday or Saturday. He said he'd let me know the next day. The next day when I didn't hear anything, I asked and he said he'd tell me later because an old girlfriend was going to be in the vicinity, but that he does want to see me again. "Oh" was all I could muster….not sure what I'm supposed to say to that. He never got back to me, as expected, since Ms. Ex-girlfriend was clearly going to be the priority, and I refrained from reaching out the rest of that day and Friday.
But then on Saturday morning I sent him a video of a military-related comedy skit. He responded and we had a little bit of an exchange that was positive, I guess. On Sunday I asked if he would be up for something during the week, and he responded affirmatively and we decided on Tuesday evening.
My arrival Tuesday night was almost exactly identical to the first time. I got to the area and parked, only this time in a metered space on the street that was now outside of payment hours and thus free. He was once again just finishing a run and thus super sweaty when he came out to meet me. We walked up to his apartment and he took a quick shower.
No offers of drinks this time though – he pulled me into the bedroom soon after the shower and wanted to get the party started immediately. We warmed up and got to it and it was definitely much better the second time around, having now a familiarity with his body and how he moves and what he likes.
He wanted to take a break eventually and so we paused and laid around under the covers talking for about an hour or so. About murderers and work and exes and lions and tigers and bears and all that good stuff. There was no cuddling, but I had a hand on his chest and he had his on my thigh most of the time. When he was ready to go again, we got back to it and finished up.
It would've been nice to have been offered a post-coital drink again, but I knew it wasn't going to happen. After we were dressed and back out in the living room for 20 seconds, he said he would walk me out. But maybe I was just the littlest bit disappointed and it showed because when he came over to give me a hug he commented that I'm being "awkward." Nope, everything is fine. When we were waiting for the elevator, I had my head turned but I could feel him staring at me. I looked at him and asked what was up and he said "Nothing." Weird.
He walked me outside and back to my car and kissed me goodbye.
As I was driving home, I realized two things: (1) I like him. He's cute, smart, funny, fit, active, and a good lover and I like talking to him and being around him. And (2) That's the last time I will ever talk to or see him.
I think he would be up for banging me again if I reached out, but that's all he is interested in and it's not a good situation for me. Any attempts for me to try to take it to a dating or relationship level when I knew what it was going in would only end disastrously. We had a good time and I don't want to mar that with drama, so I'm just going to wean myself off of him and leave it at that. It would be nice to hear from him again, but I'm not going to hold my breath or try and force the issue.
My persistent problem with men, which I think is a function of my semi-Type A personality, has been that when they are clearly emotionally unavailable from the get-go (like he is), or even if they were once into it but start growing aloof, I have a tendency to be a chaser. Not a good look.
He's a great guy though and I will think of him fondly.
Dating, Men, Sex Adolf, Ben, Bumble, Carly 11 Comments


Virginia beat Texas Tech in overtime Monday night to win the program's first ever NCAA championship. But the real excitement was happening in the rowdy Texas Tech student section.
Not 100% positive because I didn't taste it, but I'm pretty sure from color and trajectory that the stoppage tortilla was yellow corn thrown by a righty (who got a nice arc on it). Tech kids definitely armed with flour, too.
Why did this blatant food wasting happen? It's Tech tradition.
The site also reports that before a 1992 game against Texas A&M, an ESPN announcer said there was "nothing but Tech football and a tortilla factory in Lubbock." Naturally, fans bought a bunch of tortillas and threw 'em toward the field, man.
Are these stories true? Maybe. Does that matter? No because throwing tortillas is perfectly anodyne and is a fine, goofy tradition.
However, security wasn't about to let anyone go and have fun at the fun event.
But! Before you go thinking those security guards have a great new scheme to score free tortillas in bulk, know that they were smuggled in as grossly as possible.
Tech fans arriving and throwing tortillas on the court is perfection.
Tech lost, but I think it's safe to say their fans are the real winners.


Ushers serve our church by arranging/distributing seating capacity, take up the collection, distribute parish bulletins and distribute other materials as needed.
If you wish to consider this ministry, please contact: Bobby Alaniz at 547-1484.
Greeters serve a very important role by welcoming the community as we gather to worship. They are the first face of the parish greeting all who come from near and far. They offer assistance to those in need, distribute parish bulletins, recognize visitors with Holy Family Medals and distribute handmade rosaries to our Soldiers deploying and returning home.


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Aaron was the brother of Moses. While God assigned the task of Israelite leadership directly to Moses, Aaron became an important leader in his own right.
At his first encounter with God, Moses expressed concern that he was not well-spoken enough to gain the peoples' trust and asked that God send someone better-suited. God reminded him that his brother Aaron was a Levite, from a priestly line, and was used to a position of authority and pastorship. God instructed Moses that Aaron would speak to the people in his place (Ex. 4:10-16). Aaron also frequently stood by Moses in the period before the Israelites left Egypt, and through him many miracles were accomplished that made their exodus possible.
Throughout the journey of the Israelites and God's guidance of them, Aaron continued as "spokesman to the people." Gradually the people established lasting places and forms of worship, and Aaron's role became that of a rabbi or priest. In this way Aaron is also a precursor to the leaders of the Church.
Aaron is recognizable a by his vestments, which resemble an Orthodox priest's vestments. Aaron's red mitre (hat) shows that he is a high priest. He carries his miracle-working staff and a vessel holding the holy manna, the food God provided in the desert.
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You are viewing an archived issue. Vol. 8 Issue 4 April 2016 Looking for the current issue?
Coastal Carolina University security officer David Dejesus made a library full of tired students and employees very happy when he brought pizza in during finals week this past fall. The Kimbel Library employees were holding "de-stress" activities for the students when the officer came in on Dec. 9 with three boxes of cheese pizza.


Jeremy F.: I must try this!
Kevin C.: Jeremy F. That isn't easy to do. Released only once a year in crazy limited quantities that depend on the Sartori Farm hop harvest.
Dennis: Yes, beer tasting at my house, a lot of interesting beers from a variety of years.
Bottle got lost in the back of the fridge. Still just peachy - er, piney.
Matt C. is drinking a Sartori Harvest IPA by Driftwood Brewery at Martin Brothers Funeral Chapels BC Ltd.


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Burger King to Raise Funds for American Red Cross Emergency Fleet
March 31, 2011 • Staff • Bookmark +
WASHINGTON - Burger King Corp. continues its partnership with the American Red Cross by offering customers the opportunity to help purchase emergency response vehicles. More than 300 emergency response vehicles are maintained by the Red Cross across the United States, according to the organization.
From April 1 – 30 Burger King restaurant guests nationwide will be invited to make a $1 donation to the Red Cross at restaurant counters and drive-thru windows. All contributions will go directly to the Red Cross for the purchase of emergency response vehicles.
"BKC has worked with the Red Cross over the years to help provide essential emergency assistance following disastrous events in our country's history such as Sept. 11 and Hurricane Katrina," said Steve Wiborg, president, BKC North America. "With our new emergency response vehicle fundraising initiative, our restaurant guests across the country can also help support the American Red Cross and the exemplary work they do in the communities where we work and live."
The vehicles enable the Red Cross to assist with a range of relief efforts, from people affected by house fires to hurricane, wildfires, earthquakes, floods, and ice storms.
"Our emergency response vehicles are the workhorses of the Red Cross effort to deliver necessities and comfort after disasters," said Charley Shimanski, senior vice president of disaster services at the Red Cross. "What better way to feed disaster victims, than through the generosity of BKC and its restaurant patrons. This gift will help the Red Cross meet the needs of our neighbors, whether they are down the street or in the next state."
The Red Cross responds to nearly 70,000 disasters every year, most of them house fires in local communities around the nation.
Read more about Funding emergency vehicles Red Cross Burger King Corp.


There are times, in Scripture, when someone has come to Jesus and asked, "What do I do to obtain eternal life?" They're asking, "What works can I do to inherit eternal life?" No one can obtain eternal life by their own doing, it is the gift from God, not a result of works (Ephesians 2:8,9).
In Luke 18:18-30, the rich ruler came to Jesus saying, ". . . Good Master (Teacher) what shall I do to inherit eternal life?" His response, "Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone." This man was not recognizing that Jesus was God, only that He was a "Good Teacher." Jesus told him to keep the commandments. This meant that the rich ruler must keep all of the commandments perfectly. If he were to break one, he would be breaking all of them (James 2:10). He tells Jesus of his self-righteousness and declares before God Himself he has kept all the commandments from his youth. He doesn't think that he is a sinner and in need of God's salvation. He is moral and believes he has done all things without flaw. Despite his self-righteous bragging, he walks away in sadness not knowing true saving grace.
"Those who heard it said, "Then who can be saved?" But he said, "What is impossible with men is possible with God" (Luke 18:26-27). We can't save ourselves no matter what we do. It is impossible for man to be saved through himself. It's only possible with God, who gives us eternal life through the power of the gospel.
Salvation is not for the dedicated, or those who have kept the whole Law (impossible) but for those who see themselves as dead in their trespasses and sins and then brought to life. They have believed the gospel, the finished work of Christ! The gospel is so important to teach and preach because it is the power of God that brings Jew and Gentile to Christ (Romans 1:16).
Lord, may I never be ashamed of the Gospel.


Based on feedback received from local delivery partners and community groups, FBA has developed this guide to provide a comprehensive overview of the ecological restoration knowledge and skills required to undertake restoration works typically required in community projects. It is hoped the guide proves a useful and informative resource for those scoping and planning environmental projects for the first time, as well for those who have been involved in restoration activities for some time. The guide draws from the collective experience of local natural resource management practitioners from across the region and and its content is intended to evolve as our collective experience and wisdom grows.
To access and download the guide, visit their website.


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The FCS wrapped up an exciting Week 6 of the 2018 college football season which means it's time for the updated rankings. On Monday, October 8, the American Football Coaches Association unveiled the updated AFCA FCS Coaches' Poll ahead of Week 7.
North Dakota State continues its stranglehold on No. 1 with all 26 first-place votes, while Kennesaw State, Eastern Washington, Wofford, and South Dakota State round out the top five.
This season, for the first time ever, the AFCA is in charge of the administration of the FCS. It had previously been run by the Southern Conference. The AFCA also administrates the Division II and Division III Top 25 polls.
The full AFCA FCS Coaches' Top 25 Poll for Week 7 can be seen below.


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The team did it again to reach the final. After a solid start, they built a good lead only to be pegged back, they then had a nail biting finish. Good luck in the final next week against Withy King!
A win for the Omniboules team on Tuesday puts them into the semi-finals of the Bath League Pentaque! Well done and good luck for your next match.


There is a presumption of homogeneity in a typical bond index. In the indexed approach, the limit of one's expectation as to selectivity might be "intermediate-term investment grade corporate bonds." One is unlikely to be offered an undifferentiated yield from such a generic population, particularly in a stable market. With today's ultra-low interest rates and the great demand for fund-based yield vehicles, the likelihood of a truly remunerative and adequate return is even lower.
A bond that might be excluded from an index, just as for equities, because of limited trading liquidity, as for a small issue or one that has been subject to repurchase by the issuer.
Or, a bond might be expelled from an intermediate-term index if, with the passage of time, it has become shorter term, since the index must maintain a certain target maturity.
Or, a bond that has suffered a credit downgrade which makes it ineligible for its original index. Paradoxically, one of the safest (in terms of asset coverage and actively enforceable rights) and highest return bonds one can buy are those of companies arranging for (or in the midst of) a pre-packaged bankruptcy reorganization. Yet both index funds and major institutional investors such as pension funds may be prohibited from holding such securities.
These and any other factors that cause a security to fall outside the strict indexation rule-sets, irrespective of fundamental valuation attractiveness, remove them from a normal supply/demand environment and set up the opportunity for mispricing. One wants a security not in demand, a security whose price has not been driven by indexation algorithms. Below are some examples that, because they fell outside of the indexation flow of funds, offered a higher prospective yield, appreciation, optionality or other advantageous features. None of them are 'normally' available, they only become available for a period of time.


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Max Rubin's 21 st Blackjack Ball and Ed Thorp
Posted by THEPOGG on Feb 22, 2017
Contributed by Nicholas G. Colon
On a cool Saturday evening in late January, in the shadows of the most well-known Casinos in the world with the distant glow of the neon lights of the Las Vegas Strip in the background, the most elite professional gamblers in the world gather to attend the super secretive Blackjack Ball. The gala is hosted by long time organizer and advantage gaming legend Max Rubin. Max spends countless hours in preparation, creating a magnificent soirée so that this profession's elite can have a fantastic evening. Year after year Max's efforts do not disappoint.
The evening starts with drinks and hors d'oeuvres and this gives the guests-many whom have known each other and played together – time to converse and about the past years happenings. Players in the calibre of Bill Benter, James Grosjean and illusive sports better Zeljko Ranogaje are all in attendance. And this year world class poker icon Phil Ivey even made an appearance. Many of these players have known each other for decades and way before their success lead to international recognition. The blackjack ball brings together exceptionally talented people with extraordinary abilities. This reiterates the idea that great success in one field will lead to great success in another field.
After dinner, voting for the 2017 Blackjack Hall of fame inductee commenced. To no one's great surprise Don Johnson was voted into one of the most exclusive groups in all of gaming, the Blackjack Hall of Fame. Don is arguably the most famous blackjack player in the world. And his exploits reached legendary status when several years ago he whacked a few Atlantic City casinos for $15 million over a few week period while utilising their loss rebate programs. This historic win elevated Don to the top tier of advantage players, prompting all who learned about it to ask what would a person do with such a large win?
Next, the task of crowning the 2017 world's greatest blackjack player commenced. A series of 21 questions are given to the field of attendees. They are a combination of gaming probability theory questions and general gaming knowledge questions, and they are tough. The top 5 high scores proceed to the final table where a skills test determines the ultimate winner. The 2017 Grojean Cup took the form of a 15 litre bottle of Luc Belaire Rare Rose Champagne and was awarded to Anthony Curtis, publisher and owner of the Las Vegas Advisor website and president and CEO of the Huntington Press publishing house, which is the largest publisher in casino gaming related books in the world. Anthony is also the proprietor of the Gambling with an Edge website. It was fitting considering that Curtis has taken 2nd Place in 6 of the 20 previous competitions.
Anthony Curtis at the Ultimate Blackjack Tournament photo courtesy Anthony Curtis
Anthony Curtis with the 2017 Grosjean Cup
Close up of the 2016 Grosjean Cup
The 2017 Ball orbited largely around arguably the most influential man in advantage gaming, Edward O. Thorp. In 1962 Thorp published the classic text Beat the Dealer. It was the first book made widely available to the public that showed a firm mathematical approach to beating the game of 21. After this Thorp went on to make noteworthy contributions in Stock Market Analysis, where his original research helped launch the derivatives market.
Ed Thorp in 2015 photo courtesy of Ed Thorp
Ed Thorp at the 2017 Blackjack Ball photo courtesy of Nicholas Colon
In his new book A Man For All Markets, Thorp discusses his whirlwind life and gives a full and complete answer to the question: How did you do it? It's a must read for anyone who wants a look into the mind of an out of the box thinker that has made a significant impacts on the world in so many areas.
The importance of Thorps contributions can't be ignored. And his original thesis provided the foundation for much of the work that followed. I was able to speak to a few of gaming's most influential personalities about Thorps contributions. Mike Shackelford is the creator of the Wizard of Odds website, the quintessential gaming probability site. He is currently the chief mathematical consultant for Latest Casino Bonuses and he stated:
"It would be hard to understate the impact Ed Thorp had on the game of blackjack. He was the first to publish both a basic strategy*, to get the odds almost break even, and how to beat the game by card counting. His book "Beat the Dealer", will go down as in history as the quintessential book that changed the game."
*In a mainstream book. Roger Baldwin, Wilbert Cantey, Herbert Maisel, and James McDermott first published Basic Strategy in the Journal of the American Statistical Association in September 1956.
The black tie setting of the Blackjack ball is only one-half of the weekend events. The second part is the after party held at the home of Blackjack Hall of Famer and author of the classic book Gambling Wizards, Richard Munchkin, published by Huntington Press. Food, fun and friends come together on the Sunday after the Ball to discuss game strategy, new tactics and techniques and most importantly to trade war stories of this unique profession. The Munchkin after-party extends the opportunity for this elite field of players, all of whom are usually spread out all over world, to get together and share stories of the past years exploits.
The Munchkin after party gives Advantage Gaming's most influential player's time to get together in a relaxed setting, away from the Blackjack Ball's black formal setting. It also extends the time that these players get to mingle with people who understand their unique mind set and those that share their unique drive to reverse engineer casino games for profit.
Munchkin's party is in its second year, and is fast becoming been a part of the Balls weekend's events. The game's elites trade their slacks, blazers and patent leather shoes for jeans and sneakers. The open house event extends from the Sunday's early afternoon to the late evening. There is a copious amount of respect for each other's abilities. And a conversation with any one of these people is a once in a lifetime opportunity, but having all of them together at one time is something very special.
Kudos to Max and Munchkin for having the foresight to put together this most awesome event so many years ago, and more importantly to keep it going. What started as gathering of a dozen friends so many years ago, and has grown into a widely anticipated event where the gaming elite come together for a single weekend. It is a truly awesome affair.
Author Nicholas G. Colon is a long time friend of the founder of ThePOGG.com and exceptionally talented Advantage Player. We are proud to be associated with him and many within the industry could learn great deal by taking account of his experience and guidance. He runs the Alea Consulting Group.
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Serve with tzatziki (recipe below) and pita bread. A Greek salad rounds out the meal.
I used pork for this dinner. Prepare the meat 1 day ahead.
Place wooden skewers to soak in cold water for about 30 minutes before placing the meat on the skewers or use metal skewers.
Preheat an outdoor grill or a stovetop grill pan to medium-high heat. You may also use a broiler.
Thread the pieces of pork onto the skewers; discard unused marinade.
Grill the kebabs, turning them every 2-3 minutes until the meat is cooked through, about 10 minutes.
Serve immediately with tzatziki sauce and a small pita bread.
Peel and seed the cucumber. Grate the cucumber on a box grater or finely chop. Place in a colander and add the salt. Let drain for 10-15 minutes. Turn out onto a paper towel, roll up and squeeze the towel to remove some of the liquid.
Place the yogurt in a mixing bowl. Add the grated cucumber to the yogurt along with the remaining ingredients and stir well. Taste and adjust seasoning to your liking.
Cover and chill in the refrigerator several hours before serving.
Pour all the ingredients into a large jar and shake well..
Use the Greek dressing with your favorite Greek salad ingredients: romaine lettuce, green peppers, red onions, cucumbers, tomatoes, kalamata olives, pepperoncini and crumbled feta.
Split the eggplant in half through the stem and score the flesh. Drizzle with olive oil and season with salt. Grill the eggplant on a very hot grill pan or outdoor grill until the skins are wrinkled and black and the flesh side is charred.
When the eggplants are cool enough to handle, cut off the tops and scoop the flesh from the skin into a processor bowl.
Add the garlic, tahini, lemon juice, paprika, salt and cayenne pepper and puree until smooth. Add the olive oil and pulse again to incorporate. Taste and adjust seasoning, as needed. Pour into a serving bowl and garnish with a drizzle of olive oil and a sprinkling of .za'atar.
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Put the pita triangles on two rimmed cookie sheets. Combine the za'atar spice mix and extra-virgin olive oil in a bowl or jar and drizzle over the pita. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes until crispy.
Cut the squash in half lengthwise. With a grapefruit spoon, scoop out the squash flesh, leaving about a ¼ inch thick shell. Chop the squash flesh.
In a small skillet heat the sun-dried tomato oil over low heat. Add the garlic, scallions, and celery and cook until tender, 2-3 minutes. Add the squash flesh and saute until the squash is completely cooked and soft. Add the sage, sun-dried tomatoes and pepper rings, Stir and remove the pan from the heat. Cool to room temperature.
Fill the squash boats evenly with the stuffing.
Heat an outdoor grill to high and oil the grill grates. Turn the heat down to medium and place the squash boats on the grill, close the lid and grill for about 15 minutes until the shells are softened and the top of the stuffing is beginning to brown.
You will need a 10-inch glass pie pan that is 2 inches deep.
Wash the chard and remove the stems. Save the stems for soup. Cut the leaves into smaller pieces. Heat the one tablespoon olive oil in a skillet and add the chard leaves. Cook just until wilted. Season with salt & pepper. Set the pan aside.
Coat a deep dish 10-inch glass pie plate with cooking spray. Place the flour, salt, sugar, and baking powder in the pie pan. Mix with a fork. Combine the vegetable oil and water in a measuring cup. Pour over the flour mixture in the pie plate. With the fork incorporate all oil mixture into the flour until it is completely moit=st. With your hands, press the mixture across the bottom and up the sides of the pie plate.
Prebake the crust in the oven for 10 minutes.
Beat the eggs in a medium bowl and add the cream.
Remove the pie pan from the oven and place the scallions on the bottom crust. Top with 1 cup of the cheddar followed by the wilted chard. Pour the egg mixture over the chard and sprinkle the top with the remaining one cup of shredded cheddar.
Bake in the center of the oven for 45 minutes until puffed and golden brown. Cool 15 minutes before cutting.
Using a spiralizer to make noodles with the zucchini and squash. Place on paper towels to remove the moisture.
Bring a pot of salted water to a boil and cook the spaghetti al dente. Drain.
Combine the marinara sauce and grilled sausage in a saucepan and heat.
To assemble: In the pot that the spaghetti was cooked, place half of the hot marinara sauce. Add the vegetable noodles and spaghetti. Stir gently and heat.
If you are trying to eat more Mediterranean type meals, then this lunch will be very satisfying, indeed. It has all the flavors of the Mediterranean. along with being good for you and tasting absolutely delicious. This recipe comes together quickly and can be increased or decreased to suit your needs. This is good eating.
In a zip-lock plastic bag combine the olive oil with the lemon juice, garlic, oregano and Greek seasoning. Shake well to combine and add the chicken.
Seal the bag and refrigerate for about 3 hours.
Heat a large skillet over medium heat and pour the chicken and marinade into the skillet. Sprinkle the chicken lightly with sea salt.
Turn the heat down slightly and cook the chicken in the marinade for about 15 minutes, turning the chicken tenders over about half way through the cooking time.
Remove the skillet from the heat and allow the chicken to cool down.
Place a mini pita on a sandwich plate and top with a few leaves of lettuce.
Place 2 chicken tenders on top, sprinkle the chicken with some feta cheese and then add a few tablespoons of Tzatziki Sauce.
Serve Greek olives on the side.
Peel and seed the cucumber. Grate the cucumber on a box grater onto a paper towel, roll up and squeeze the towel to remove some of the liquid.
Place the yogurt in a mixing bowl. Add the grated cucumber to the yogurt along with the remaining ingredients and stir well.


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A Fixed Focus
People coming together to share information, experience, and knowledge in all aspects of photography
For Chien, the Vice President of the Senior Photography Club, photography is a life-long pursuit. As a teenager he tried to pursue it as a career but harsh conditions during the American War and family obligations forced him to abandon it for a more financially stable job. Now in his golden years and retired, with resources and family support, he's able to reignite his first love.
The HCMC Senior Photography Club is a special chapter of the Ho Chi Minh Photography Association (HOPA, www.hopa.vn) with more than 30 senior and experienced photographers as permanent members. Founded by Trinh Dinh Thu in 1999 as a platform for retired professional photographers and aspiring ones to gather and share experiences, the club has grown strongly in terms of prestige and recognition thanks to the club's participation in major national and regional photography competitions.
Some of the members are renowned war photojournalists such as Trinh Dinh Thu, Doan Cong Tinh, Vu Ba, and Trieu Hung, along with other members who have held high ranks in the government. Membership is granted to those who meet a few simple requirements. One should be 60 years of age or above, although the age limit has been lowered somewhat to allow for those serious about photography. Another condition is that all potential members should have some knowledge or experience on the topic. At the moment, the club comprises of only Vietnamese men but also welcomes female and expats as more perspectives about photography can then be shared.
With Age Comes Patience
I met Chien one morning at HOPA's office where the club was having its annual photo exhibition in conjunction with their Hanoi branch. Passing by each photo, he proudly and passionately explains the meaning and angle behind each shot. When asked if he saw any differences in style and shooting techniques between the young and the old, he replies: "The differences surely exist, yet sometimes are not so obvious as the old folks with compounding life experiences bring calmer and more philosophical perspectives into their photos. And we are more patient too.
"Like a fisherman calmly and patiently waiting for his fish, senior photographers can spend days at a scene just to get a right shoot with the right light and structure. I am really amazed at the photos the club members produce, not only by the sheer beauty, but more so by the emotions which is clearly the heart and soul of all the photos," adds Chien.
The club holds its monthly meetings on the 19th where photos of the month are brought in for member critique. Chien says he's happy to mentor and pass down any knowledge he has to those who share his same passion. Email him at nguyenchien4546@yahoo.com.
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Protecting intellectual properties in ASEAN countries using blockchain, IoT and NFC technology Counterfeit goods can be replicas or first copies, making it impossible for the layperson to differentiate. These counterfeit products can be as expensive as the originals. According to a recent survey by the Vietnam Directorate of Market Surveillance, 80 percent of consumers buy
The Night Never Sleeps
Experience the Pulsating Energy of the City's Nightlife at Atmos and Kasho Clubs It's rare that the darkened, red neon- streaked quarters of Atmos Club (2nd Floor, 153 Ton That Dam, D1) aren't at least mostly filled with patrons, almost all young Vietnamese clients who seem to have walked out of fashion magazines dressed defiantly
Roar In The New Year
The dance is believed to bring fortune, but how is the costume made "Lions and Dragons are symbols of luck and prosperity. For the Vietnamese, without luck there is no life," says Nhu Tra, a dancer from the Ha Nhan Duong troupe. "Which is why you will see lion dancing not just around Tet but
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JUANCARLOS DURAN SOLORZANO (www.facebook.com/Juancaphotography) is a professional photographer with more than six years of experience in the industry. His latest solo exhibition was a collaboration between his native Mexico and Vietnam titled "Mexico – Vietnam Cross borders". It was showcased in the Ethnology Museum and in Deutsches Haus in Ho Chi Minh City. He also
Gift Guide December 2019
Sunken Treasures Beneath the murky surface of the Brokopondo Hydro Lake in Suriname, South America, lies a hidden treasure that's over 60 years—a 150,000-hectare underwater tropical forest. However, harvesting this submerged wood is difficult because divers must venture 15 meters deep into the lake to recover it. Through innovation and technology, Brokopondo Lakewood (www.facebook.com/Lakewoodvn) brings


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Chosen Few DJs and Chosen Few Festival Coverage
A Conversation with Chosen Few Festival Guest DJ, Lori Branch
June 25, 2019 / Black Widow
Lora Branch (aka DJ Lori Branch), is a Chicago native with over 34 years of experience as a local artist, DJ and public health advocate. Lori has been featured in the film, The Unusual Suspects: Once Upon a Time in House Music, and has the honor and distinction of being the first female DJ in Chicago's historic Dance/House music scene.
Lora has held DJ residences in numerous Chicago venues and has co-produced music for several independent film and television projects. She is also the writer and creator of several public health training videos and public services announcements, the award winning series Kevin's Room and the recently released documentary 40th: The History of Roberts Temple. Lora is also a co-host the Northwestern University (WNUR) radio program Street Beat in connection with the Chicago Dance Music Archive Project. In 2014 she was inducted into the Chosen Few's House Music Hall of Fame named for the legendary Frankie Knuckles.
In 2019, Lora was selected as one of the guest DJs for this year's Chosen Few Festival and Picnic. As part of my Chosen Few Festival Blog Series, I had a chance to chat with Lora about her career, her work as an advocate and playing this year's festival.
Black Widow: What was your introduction to house music and what made you want to become a DJ?
Lori Branch: I attended Lindbloom High School and that was around the time Disco and Dance Music existed in places like the Warehouse and Paradise Garage. It was before we called it "House Music". I was hanging around a bunch of closeted gay guys that encouraged me to come to the Warehouse to hear some music. They said this was where it happened! We went and it was magic just like people describe. It was just one of those places where you experienced something you've never felt before. It was all the right things at the right time. My friends and I formed a social club, called "Vertigo". Vertigo was just one of the many social clubs/crews that were around at the time. There was the "Rude Boys", "The Doctors", "The Chosen Few", etc. There were tons of them and they would throw parties for high schoolers, typically from certain high schools, like Lindbloom, Whitney Young, Hyde Park, Kenwood and a few Catholic Schools. Those were schools that drew similar crowds. Vertigo was part of that. In the summer of 1980, I joined the crew as a DJ. My friend, Craig Loftis and I actually learned how to DJ together. We learned from Jose (Louie) Gomez. He showed us the ropes. We bought equipment from the money we made from parties and it kind of just grew from there. I DJ'd with them and was starting to branch out on my own.
Black Widow: I assume you had to learn how to shop for music as well?
Lori Branch: Oh of course! You had to! There was no downloading, you had to get your own or borrow it. It was limited amounts of the music, so it was imperative that you spent quite a bit of time in the record stores looking for music. We would go to Imports, Gramaphone, The Wax Traxed and Used Record Store on the west side…we would go to different places looking for music. We wanted to collect what we heard at the Warehouse. There was a bridge between what was happening at the Warehouse and what was happening at the teen parties. DJs would go to the Warehouse, listen and then go find that music and bring it and play it at the teen parties.
Black Widow: What was it about the art of Dj'ing that drew you to the craft?
Lori Branch: I always had an interest in it. I would play "DJ" at home. I have a huge family and my brother is a musician and we would play "DJ" at home quite a bit. I have a deep affection for dance music. It just touches my spirit in a way that I hadn't experienced before going to the Warehouse. I knew I wanted to do this. I was inspired by Eric Bradshaw who told me I should do this. He said you should be our DJ, there are no other girls doing this.
Black Widow: How do you feel when you hear the term "Lady DJ" or "Female DJ"?
Lori Branch: It's a double edged sword. There are advantages and disadvantages. I don't mind it and I don't correct people when they say things like, "You're my favorite Lady DJ or Female DJ". I take it as a compliment but I do feel like it's a characterization. It's like calling you a "Black Writer" or a "Black Female Writer"… you're a Writer, you know? It is as if you are at the kids table of DJs but thankfully it's changed a lot over the years. I understand why some embrace and honestly, I think I had some advantages because of it.
Black Widow: Really? How So?
Lori Branch: Wayne Williams would always say to me, we got to get you out there. He was the first to say, let's do a Female battle of the DJs. There were other guys who were so supportive of me as a DJ. Being a woman who was respected for her craft by some of the guys, helped me…
Black Widow: …it set you apart?
Lori Branch: Yes very much so. I still look at flyers now and see 10 DJs and not one of them is a woman and I'm like really? You can't have one lady DJ? Especially now, we have so many amazing female DJs all over the world, there's no reason to have 10 DJs on a party and not one is a woman. That makes no sense to me.
Black Widow: How does your work as a HIV/Aids Advocate intersect with your work as a DJ?
Lori Branch: My entire professional career has been focused on social justice and public health so to have that intersect with my DJ career is fantastic. I've always tried to figure out ways to be creative when delivering messages. I'm an artist so I'm always thinking of how I bring that to every element of my life. I've found that I can do that in many different ways. One of my other loves is visual production. I've done a lot of public service announcements, movies and documentaries and I collaborate and insert house music in those settings. It's also a platform to cross pollinate. I can talk about how devastating HIV has been especially within the artistic community. When I'm DJ'ing, I try to find ways to intersect as well, like my radio show on WNUR. We talk about social justice and how illness impacts our communities. We talk about a lot of things.
Black Widow: Coming up in a time when not much was known about HIV/Aids had to be extremely impactful.
Lori Branch: We lost so many people. Honestly, I've lost almost all of my close friends from that period. Out of 10 guys that I was close with 8 of them are no longer here. These were the faces you would see if you were watching a house music documentary. There were so many young, beautiful people just gone. They were a central part of this culture. They are the reason we have this culture. It was a lot of loss but it empowered me and others to keep going and to keep fighting.
Black Widow: You have a documentary about a young gay man named "Kevin's Room". Can you tell me more about your motivation behind creating that?
Lori Branch: This was a series on WCIU and UPN. It was a film series that focused on a group of black gay men dealing with life. I wanted to give form to a community that had been flatly characterized for so long. That diminishing of their humanity helps contribute to so many conditions. If I feel invisible or diminished, If I don't' have a sense of who I am, if I don't have anyone to affirm me and if I don't see examples of that, then why would I think I'm worth anything? You have these huge rates of depression and suicide and one way to combat that is to create images and to have presence. That documentary and some of my other work is my attempt to do just that. It was a 1st during that time to see fully flushed out characters of black gay men living, loving and having families and such with the stereotypes. Most recently, I've completed a documentary on my family's church where they had Emmett Till's funeral.
Black Widow: Your career has spanned decades. What do you think are the keys to having success and longevity in this scene?
Lori Branch: You cannot take yourself too seriously! You have to be kind to people. That's going to give you a lot of opportunities, sometimes more than you can handle. I get more opportunities than I'm able to fulfill and I'd like to think that is because of the relationships I've cultivated over my career. You should be generous, nonjudgmental and avoid burning bridges. We have to be thoughtful about how we embrace one another and that goes a long way. I also took a break for a while in the late 80s to finish college and that helped too. When I came back I had a new energy. It doesn't hurt to take a break every now and then, to refocus and refresh.
Black Widow: I remember speaking with Jamie 3:26 and he said, "Just be cool"! [laughter]
Lori Branch: That's really it. If you look on social media, the ones who are "just cool", who are supportive and loving, they are very busy.
Black Widow: Too busy for the nonsense!
Lori Branch: Exactly! [Laughter]
Black Widow: So how do you feel about playing this year at the Chosen Few Festival and Picnic?
Lori Branch: I'm super excited! I was thrilled to get the invitation to play this year. I've done parties before around the picnic and I DJ'd the picnic 10 years ago but it's so much bigger now. I always love the opportunity to be on a stage with all of the people I've come up with. It always feels like a homecoming or reunion. How can you not be excited about that? It's a lot of fun!
Black Widow: I'm so looking forward to hearing your play at the Festival and look forward to seeing you!
Lori Branch: Thank you so much! See you at the Picnic!
Until Next Time, see you on a dance floor!
-Black Widow
Definitely catch Lora's set at this year's Chosen Few Festival and Picnic on July 6th. You can catch Chosen Few Founder & President, Wayne Williams and House Legend, Robert Williams on Lora's show, July 10th at 10pm on WNUR 89.5 and WNUR.org. Learn more about Lora and her upcoming projects at www.LoraBranch.com
June 25, 2019 / Black Widow/ Comment
Special Event Coverage, Chosen Few Series, Chosen Few Festival 2019
Blkwidowsweb, BlackWidowsWeb, ChosenFewDJs, ChosenFewFestival2019, LoriBranch
D.Sanders, a Chicago native, is a devoted mother, blogger and writer who is passionate about her family, friends, women's rights, living authentically and telling her story. She is also a spoken word recording artist under the name, Black Widow. She has been writing and blogging for over 15 years providing commentary and expressing thought on life, love and relationships. Her artistry can be heard on two house music singles, "Rough", and "Gruv Me" released by Grammy Nominated Producer and CEO of T's Box Records & T's Crates, Terry Hunter under the production of Mike Dunn and Dee Jay Alicia. . Both singles reached #1 on Traxsource's Afrohouse and charted top ten overall as well reaching the top ten in their year of release. She splits her time blogging about the Chicago Dance Music Scene on www.blkwidowmusic.com and on her book's website, www.thesumofmanythings.com. She is excited about her debut book, The Sum of Many Things, scheduled for release in June 2017. She wears many hats but refuses to be placed in a box. She believes that women are "The Sum of Many Things". Embracing all of her roles as a woman, she firmly believes in breaking free of preconceived notions of womanhood. She believes it is her mission to define her own life experience, femininity and sexuality and not have it defined by society. She openly shares her story with hopes that women understand their worth, power and place in this world.
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'We were all nervous': Volcano eruption in the Philippines hits close to home for some Winnipeggers
Published Tuesday, January 14, 2020 2:53PM CST
WINNIPEG -- A volcano eruption near the Philippines' capital has blanketed the area in layers of ash and forced more than 40,000 people to be evacuated. While the volcano is over 12,000 kilometres away, the devastation has still hit close to home for members of Winnipeg's Filipino community.
It was Sunday afternoon when Debbie Compayre received a text from grandparents living in the calm and slow-paced city of San Nicolas, Batangas – a Filipino city less than 10 kilometers away from the Taal Volcano.
The volcano that had been dormant for 55 years had started smoking, the text said.
"As soon as they realized what was happening, they decided to evacuate the city," Compayre, who lives in Winnipeg, told CTV News. "It was a quick, you know, just get out of there. They felt it quickly escalating."
Debbie Compayre's family in San Nicolas, Batangas, who were forced to evacuate their homes after the Taal Volcano erupted on Jan. 12, 2020. (Submitted: Debbie Compayre)
Within hours an eruption sent volcanic ash billowing into the sky. Compayre said by this time her grandparents and their family were on the roads.
READ MORE: Philippine volcano spews lava, ash for 3rd day, 30,000 flee
Compayre said the text updates rolled in from her family: there is ash everywhere; there is zero-visibility; the roads are busy; everybody is safe.
"Everyone is good, but for a while it was very…we were all nervous," Compayre said.
Compayre said her family moved across Batangas and is staying with other families while they wait to hear when they can return home.
They joined more than 40,000 evacuees who left Batangas and nearby provinces to escape the volcano, according to Associated Press reports.
"It's very, kind of waiting and not really knowing if or when it's okay to go back."
MEMORIES OF A FATAL VOLCANO ERUPTION 55 YEARS AGO
Compayre was born in the Philippines, but moved to Winnipeg in 1992. She says she remembers visiting the Taal Volcano, a popular tourist spot, and spending time in the city of San Nicolas.
"It was province-life, so very relaxing and calm and slow-paced and friendly," said Compayre.
Compayre's family home in San Nicolas, Bantagas, in the Philippines before the Taal Volcano erupted on Sunday, Jan. 12, 2020. (Submitted: Debbie Compayre)
This is not the first time her family escaped the Taal Volcano. In 1965 the volcano erupted, killing hundreds of people.
Compayre says her mother was there, on the volcano, when it exploded, but was able to escape the fatal eruption.
Compayre asked her mother what it was like to see the volcano erupt again.
"The first thing she told me was 'Yeah, I was there and your uncle was a baby. There was mud everywhere," Compayre said. "Very weird déjà vu."
LOCAL COMMUNITIES RALLYING SUPPORT FOR PHILLIPPINES
The eruption and subsequent evacuation has prompted a local community in Winnipeg to jump into action.
The Sulat-Kamay Charity Drive normally raises money and collects donations for children's education in the Philippines, but they are now putting out a new call for donations.
The group is collecting facemasks to send to the evacuees displaced by the Taal Volcano.
The group sent their first shipment of more than 1,300 masks overseas Tuesday morning.
Maureen Sy, an organizer of the charity drive, said they had heard the masks are all sold out in stores in the Philippines and more are needed still.
"It's our instinct," Sy told CTV News. "You need to move so you can help people back home."
Sy said anyone who wants to help with the fundraising efforts for the Philippines can contact the Sulat-Kamay Charity Drive over Facebook.
-with files from The Associated Press
A video in San Nicolas, Batangas, Philipines shows the Taal Volcano billowing smoke hours before it erupted on Jan. 12, 2020. (Submitted: Debbie Compayre)
Indigenous choir sings 'O Canada' at Jets game