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El término paradoja demográfico-económica o paradoja económico-demográfica se refiere al hecho de que cuanto más acomodada y educada es una población o clase social, menos hijos tiene. Se produce una correlación inversa entre la riqueza y la fertilidad, tanto entre naciones como dentro de las naciones. Cuanto más altos sean el ingreso per cápita y el nivel de educación, más baja será la tasa de natalidad.

La paradoja demográfico-económica señala que la reducción reproductiva surge naturalmente como consecuencia del progreso económico.

Desarrollo económico y descenso demográfico

La correlación inversa entre desarrollo económico (renta per cápita) y descenso de la natalidad (tasa de crecimiento demográfico) ha sido particularmente cierta en las naciones industrializadas, en Europa Central y Occidental desde aproximadamente 1850/1880 y se está extendiendo a todos los demás países donde se mejora la renta per cápita y se da un proceso de urbanización. Antes de esa época, era la clase social alta la que tenía un mayor número de hijos que sobrevivían hasta la edad del matrimonio. En las últimas décadas, la paradoja demográfico-económica también se ha observado entre las clases medias de los países en desarrollo y emergentes.

Se considera una «paradoja» ya que a mayores medios, renta per cápita, debía producirse más descendencia. Se observa en términos generales que los países o subpoblaciones con mayor PIB per cápita tienen menos hijos, a pesar de que una población más rica puede mantener a más niños. Thomas Malthus sostenía que con el fin de evitar sufrimiento generalizado, como hambrunas por ejemplo, era necesario lo que llamó «restricción moral» (que incluye la abstinencia).

Se ha formulado la hipótesis de que la tendencia observada se ha producido como respuesta a la mayor esperanza de vida, reducción de la mortalidad infantil y mejora de la alfabetización e independencia de la mujer,  y la urbanización; todo esto como resultado de un aumento del PIB per cápita, en consonancia con el modelo de transición demográfica y la teoría de la revolución reproductiva.

Sin embargo la información actual sugiere que la paradoja demográfico-económica sólo es válida hasta cierto punto. Los datos recientes sugieren que una vez que un país alcanza un cierto nivel de desarrollo humano y prosperidad económica la tasa de fecundidad se estabiliza y entonces se recupera ligeramente a las tasas de sustitución.

En una conferencia sobre población de la ONU de 1974 en Bucarest, Karan Singh, exministro de la población en la India, ilustra esta tendencia al afirmar «El desarrollo es el mejor método anticonceptivo».

La transición demográfica y revolución reproductiva

Transición demográfica
Antes de la transición demográfica del siglo XIX del mundo occidental, sólo una minoría de niños sobrevivía a la edad de 20 años, y las expectativas de vida eran cortas, incluso para aquellos que alcanzasen la edad adulta. Por ejemplo, en el siglo XVII en York, Inglaterra el 15% de los niños aún estaban vivos a los 15 años y sólo el 10% de ellos sobrevivía hasta los 20.

La tasa de natalidad era así mismo muy elevada, resultando en un crecimiento demográfico lento. La revolución agrícola y las mejoras en la higiene produjeron una dramática reducción en la tasa de mortalidad en los países industrializados ricos, en un principio, sin afectar las tasas de natalidad. En el siglo XX, las tasas de natalidad de los países industrializados empezaron a caer, al mismo tiempo que las sociedades se acostumbraron a la mayor probabilidad de que sus hijos sobreviviesen. Los cambios de valores culturales también contribuyen, al tiempo que la urbanización y el empleo femenino aumentó.

Puesto que la riqueza es lo que impulsa esta transición demográfica, se deduce que las naciones que están por detrás en riqueza también estarán retrasadas en la transición demográfica.

Revolución reproductiva
Para la teoría de la revolución reproductiva la fecundidad no es un indicador fiel de la capacidad reproductiva de una población como lo era en el modelo de la transición demográfica. Así, frente a la valoración negativa del descenso de la fecundidad, la revolución reproductiva señala un cambio de orden más general, la eficiencia reproductiva que no es otra cosa que la transformación radical de la eficiencia con que los seres humanos consiguen reemplazarse con nuevos seres humanos antes de morir.

La interpretación de lo que supone la modernización demográfica permite incorporar los cambios en la familia (fin del patriarcado), la fecundidad (modificación de su importancia y del nivel de reemplazo), las relaciones del género y la supervivencia de los individuos de modo más satisfactorio a cómo lo cumplía la teoría de la transición demográfica.
Así, el verdadero nivel de reemplazo o fecundidad de reemplazo, según predice la revolución reproductiva puede estar por debajo de los 2,1 hijos por mujer cuando los individuos de una generación aumentan su longevidad.

Consecuencias
Una reducción de la fertilidad puede dar lugar a un envejecimiento de la población y a un posterior descenso de la población que puede conllevar una serie de problemas económicos y sociales, véase, por ejemplo, demografía de Japón.

Un problema relacionado es que altas tasas de natalidad tienden a imponer una mayor carga en la crianza y la educación de los niños en poblaciones que ya están luchando contra la pobreza. En consecuencia, la desigualdad disminuye la educación media y obstaculiza el crecimiento económico. Además, en países con una alta carga de este tipo, una reducción de la fecundidad puede obstaculizar el crecimiento económico, así como a la inversa.

Véase también
 Tasa global de fecundidad
 Movimiento de Extinción Humana Voluntaria
 Idiocracy
 Revolución reproductiva
 Descenso de la población
 Transición demográfica
 Segunda transición demográfica

Referencias

Conceptos demográficos
Fertilidad


CDEL's staff is committed to public interest law, serving our clients, and supporting our volunteers with professionalism and integrity.
Mark joined CDEL in November of 2012 after over 25 years in private practice. He was a partner at Schwartz & Freeman before establishing his own firm. He also served as General Counsel of the Illinois Department of Revenue and as an Adjunct Professor at the University of Illinois College of Law. Mark was a CDEL volunteer while in private practice beginning in 1986.
He is the former Chair and current member of the Arlington Heights Housing Commission and he helps with two regional National Alliance on Mental Illness committees, one addressing housing needs and the second addressing criminal justice matters. The Illinois State Bar Association honored him with its Board of Governor's Award for his work as Chair of the Alliance of Bar Associations for Judicial Evaluation.
Mark is admitted to practice in Illinois, is a Trial Bar member of the Northern District of Illinois, and is admitted before several Federal District Courts and Circuit Courts of Appeal together with the U.S. Supreme Court. He graduated with Honors from Illinois State University, and in 2017 he received a Distinguished Alumni Award from ISU's Department of English. His J.D. degree is from the University of Illinois.
Tom joined CDEL in 2007, serving first as a Staff Attorney and Pro Bono Coordinator, and is currently CDEL's Legal Director. He started his legal career as a volunteer paralegal at CDEL more than 15 years ago. Tom is active with the Chicago Bar Association, American Bar Association and is a member of National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys (NAELA). Before joining the staff, he worked as a private attorney in the areas of commercial, investment and residential real estate, estate planning and business law and was a staff attorney with Chicago Bar Association's Lawyer Referral Service.
Tom is a past Chair of the CBA Legal Aid Committee and a member of the ABA's Standing Committee on Paralegals. Tom is a contributing author to Wolter Kluwer's Elder Law Portfolio series. Tom also teaches Paralegal Studies at the City Colleges of Chicago, lecturing in the areas of Legal Ethics, Elder Law, Real Estate Law, and Estates & Wills. Tom's first text book was published in 2017 by Carolina Academic Press. Tom was an adjunct professor at John Marshall Law School in their Elder Law Program.
Tom earned a Bachelor's Degree in English Literature from Loyola University Chicago. He received his Juris Doctor degree from Chicago-Kent College of Law, where he served as Notes and Comments Editor for the Journal of International & Comparative Law. While in law school, Tom studied at Trinity College, Dublin, and King's College, London.
Caroline Manley joined CDEL in 2011 through the support of the Borchard Foundation Center on Law & Aging. As a Borchard Fellow, Caroline implemented legal clinics in four of Cook County's suburbs to ensure that seniors outside of the Chicago city limits are able to access CDEL's services. In 2012, Caroline continued her work in the suburbs, and began expanding the clinic model to high-need Chicago communities through an Equal Justice Works Fellowship sponsored by The Chicago Bar Foundation. Caroline now oversees ten Clinics throughout Cook County.
Prior to joining CDEL, Caroline interned with a wide range of legal organizations that serve seniors including the Cook County State's Attorney, the Cook County Office of the Public Guardian and AARP Foundation – Litigation. Before attending law school, Caroline worked with socially isolated seniors in Chicago as a Program Coordinator at Little Brothers – Friends of the Elderly.
Caroline attended the University of Illinois for her undergraduate degree in Sociology. She earned her Juris Doctor degree from DePaul University in 2011 where she was an active member of the Center for Public Interest Law and the Article Selection Editor of the DePaul Journal for Social Justice.
Stephanie Ridella Vittands is a staff attorney at CDEL. She provides representation in eviction defense, property owner evictions, CHA housing voucher termination informal hearings, and a wide range of landlord-tenant issues and other property issues. In 2015-2016, she fellow through a fellowship with the Borchard Foundation Center on Law & Aging. Prior to accepting a Borchard fellowship, Stephanie joined CDEL as an AmeriCorps VISTA Housing Coordinator after graduating from law school. Stephanie also assists with coordinating the Guardianship Help Desk.
Stephanie began interning with CDEL during her first year of law school. In addition to her work with CDEL, she also interned at Chicago Legal Clinic, Chicago Volunteer Legal Services, Illinois Legal Aid Online, the Chicago-Kent Law Offices and the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.
Stephanie earned her Bachelor of Arts in History and a Paralegal Certificate at Oakland University. She went on to earn her Master of Arts in Medieval History and Early Modern History at Loyola University of Chicago.
Stephanie received her Juris Doctor from Chicago-Kent College of Law in May 2014, with certificates in Public Interest Law and Labor and Employment Law. She was also awarded the Dean's Distinguished Public Service Award.
Elise Robie is a staff attorney at CDEL and formerly CDEL's Equal Justice Works AmeriCorps Elder Justice Legal Fellow. She represents clients experiencing potential elder financial abuse, which includes a variety of civil legal issues such as revoking powers of attorney, filing civil complaints, communicating with Adult Protective Services, and demanding accountings of the senior's financial records. In addition, she conducts outreach presentations to educate seniors on these issues, and assists with CDEL's Senior Center Initiative outreach presentations and workshops, as a preventive measure against future abuse. Elise joined CDEL in 2015 as a Kott Gerontology Scholar during her third year of law school.
Elise attended UCLA for her undergraduate degree in English Literature. She received her Juris Doctor from Loyola University of Chicago School of Law with a certificate in Health Law. At Loyola, she was a 2015 Women's Bar Foundation Scholar and member of the Alpha Sigma Nu Honor Society.
Crystal Huizar joined CDEL in the Winter of 2017 as a full time paralegal. Crystal provides administrative and paralegal support for CDEL and is the primary staff liaison for the Winter Awards Benefit Committee.
Crystal began at CDEL in January of 2016 as a paralegal intern through Wilbur Wright College. In May of the same year, Crystal received her Associates Degree in Paralegal Studies and became CDEL's Paralegal Screening Coordinator. Crystal assisted the Senior Legal Assistance Clinics by screening and scheduling seniors for the Clinics, as well as updating files after appointments.
Crystal is also fluent in Spanish and often translates in the office, making CDEL's services more accessible to limited English-speaking clients.
Crystal was the Vice President of the Paralegal Club during her paralegal program and will begin working on obtaining her Bachelors of Political Science from Roosevelt University.
Ivette Chacon joined CDEL in January of 2017 as a paralegal intern through the Wright College Paralegal Program. In March of the same year she was hired by CDEL as the Screening Coordinator Paralegal, and in May she received her Associates Degree in Paralegal Studies. Ivette works closely with the Senior Legal Assistance Clinics where she screens and schedules seniors for appointments. Ivette is also fluent in Spanish and expands CDEL's services by opening a line of communication to Spanish speaking seniors in Cook County.
Ivette is working on obtaining her bachelors in Paralegal Studies from Roosevelt University and expects to graduate in December of 2018.


Also we have a mobile trolley on sale for this unit as separate listing.
The ventilator powers up OK and successfully completes its initial self-test. The display, alarms and touch screen are fully functional. Mode include - Batch C P A P, S/T, PCV & AVAPS. All modes appear to be functional but were not verified. Backup battery working at the time of testing. Overall the ventilator is in fairly good physical condition. Case have some small damage look at pictures, Screen in perfect condition.
The Respironics V60 Ventilator combines Respironics' ventilation expertise with Philips' focus on simplifying advanced health care. The result is the noninvasive ventilation gold standard with an invasive ventilation safety net and an interactive display that helps simplify patient management. Because every breath matters and every breath is different, patients need a ventilator that always follows their breathing pattern, whatever their acuity. The Respironics V60 uses auto-adaptive technology to help ensure patient synchrony and therapy acceptance. Improved signal processing technology is finely tuned for both adult and pediatric patients.


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In 2023, read the Verse of the Day in your inbox.
Add parallel Share Print Page Options Listen to Mark 4:21, Luke 8:16, Luke 11:33
A Lamp on a Stand
21 He said to them, "Do you bring in a lamp to put it under a bowl or a bed? Instead, don't you put it on its stand?(A)
Mark 4:21 : S Mt 5:15
Mark 4:21 in all English translations
16 "No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, they put it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light.(A)
Luke 8:16 : S Mt 5:15
Luke 8:16 in all English translations
The Lamp of the Body(A)
33 "No one lights a lamp and puts it in a place where it will be hidden, or under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, so that those who come in may see the light.(B)
Luke 11:33 : 11:34, 35pp — Mt 6:22, 23
Luke 11:33 : S Mt 5:15
Luke 11:33 in all English translations
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Max Ellendale
Mermaid (Four Point Universe Book 4) Kindle Edition
Max Ellendale (Author)
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Book 4 of 14: Four Point Universe
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Ex-Detective Veronica Baird lost almost everything she'd worked for in life to a spray of fateful bullets. A desperate move from Portland back to Seattle at the beckon of a friend, promises a safe place to live, a job, and support. When Veronica reunites with her best friends after circumstances urged them apart, Jordan and Alice rally around her in hope of nursing her back to life. The only ray of light in Veronica's existence belongs to that of her nine-year-old daughter. Uprooted, devastated, and battling the abyss of despair, Veronica stumbles into meeting pediatrician, Scarlett, at the worst time ever. Or so it seemed. Veronica, and her pod of colorful friends, float together in darkness and light, though not all entanglements are meant to lead her to the surface.
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Books In This Series (14 Books)
Four Point Universe
Anita (Four Point Universe Book 1)
Wildrose (Four Point Universe Book 2)
Rabbit (Four Point Universe Book 3)
Mermaid (Four Point Universe Book 4)
Hart & Stocker (Four Point Universe Book 5)
Entanglement (Four Point Universe Book 6)
Nocere (Four Point Universe Book 7)
Moonflower (Four Point Universe Book 8)
Relevé (Four Point Universe Book 9)
Borrowed (Four Point Universe Book 10)
ASIN  :  B07QFKLY87
Publication date  :  April 28, 2019
X-Ray  :  Not Enabled
Page numbers source ISBN  :  1096132222
#651 in Lesbian Fiction
#729 in Lesbian Romance
#5,267 in LGBTQ+ Romance (Books)
Max (she/her) grew up just outside of New York City, spending most of her formative years outdoors creating wild ghost hunts with neighborhood kids, setting booby-traps to capture unwitting family members, and building clubhouses on top of ten-foot walls. Max wrote her first story at the age of twelve and there began her romance with the world of fiction. Through the years, Max has written several short-stories and poems, all of which met the wrath of the "Not Good Enough" monster and ended in fiery demise.
Max regained her confidence when she began writing scholarly articles and research theses on her first trip through graduate school. It took several years for her to break the habit of the formal writing that marred her creativity. Max writes primarily LGBTQ+ sci-fi/fantasy, crime/thriller, and romance stories. Max describes her women-loving-women novels as "edgy romance and crime/thrillers about women rising from the ashes of their experiences and thriving in the context of love and relationships."
For more information, please visit: www.maxellendale.com
5.0 out of 5 stars A RESOUNDING MUST-READ Stupendous, Perfectly Weaved Tapestry of Love, Life & Family
Have you read Max Ellendale's latest Cops & Docs novel, "Mermaid?" Oh, you simply must! It's tied in to her previous one, "Rabbit," one of my all-time favs and on my Top Ten last year, and "Wildrose." I somehow just knew that this new installment would be something that'd stir my inner senses and emotions. I was not wrong. In fact, it went beyond my expectations. I was utterly speechless when I finished reading it in one sitting and still reeling from the utter beauty and aesthetic, deeply affecting love story that Ellendale had written, which I will cherish wholeheartedly. And surprise sur-bloody-prise, its MCs, Scar and Vee, have now joined my list of all-time favourite lesfic couples!
The beauty of "Mermaid" is that the STORY itself, besides the intoxicating, sensual, emotion-stirring, all-consuming love story, along with the superb ensemble cast that Ellendale so brilliantly assembled and crafted, is one of the most unabridged, uninhibited, explicitly detailed and realistic portrayal of a family unit. More relevantly and relatably, a blazing queer one, to boot! YES! Reminded me of "The L Word" which showed the daily lives of a group of mates who banded together as their own chosen family, which became a community! Ellendale's passion, intensity and conviction in the "fully loaded" words she expressed when weaving her richly defined tapestry of storytelling personified that spirit of "family" in this book, just like she did in her famous "Four Point Trilogy." But in this particular one, she turned it up a notch and gave us something much bigger, more resonating than ever, especially for those of us who've read all of her Seattle-based stories.
About the title, "Mermaid," I was naturally intrigued when Ellendale first announced it. Being a nutter for word plays, metaphors and hidden meanings in language and literature, I was looking forward to exploring her take on the word's meaning as it related to her story. As I hoped, I was utterly spellbound by the essence of what the mermaid represented metaphorically and allegorically, which Ellendale, once again, ever-so masterfully weaved each symbolic meaning into every part of the story and its characters. Of course the word was also used literally, which you'll find out when you read the book. But the allegory of the story flowed with such mystical and sensual fervour I was left mesmerised. Needless to say, by the end of the final word on the last page of the story, I was thoroughly satiated, my heart bursting with love and joy, my soul relishing in the elixir of healing properties from the divine feminine power that epitomised the symbolism of the mermaid, to which this book is entitled.
I have so much to say about this book, obviously, but just know this - "Mermaid" is a RESOUNDING MUST-READ! Ellendale wrote this story with such passion and conviction, it reverberated throughout the book, at least for me. It was stupendous and mesmerisingly memorable, nevermind how absolutely perfect she'd weaved her tapestry of love, life and family. The psychology, the love, the camaraderie portrayed throughout the entire story felt genuinely real and authentic. This story with the implications of the mermaid symbolism were manoeuvred with such grace and steadfast zeal, the outcome was soul-stirring, soul-enriching. To me, Ellendale has really outdone herself with this latest impassionedly written love story that transcended the usual romance of two besotted people. Her innate gift in the intricacies of human psychology and behavioural science and her ability to turn them into compelling romance and love stories is why you should definitely explore this story and feel it for yourself. In this book, she's proven yet again that not only is she a superbly gifted writer, she's also a brilliant poet. A lyrical poet.You'll find out when you read it.
Also worth mentioning, Ellendale introduced a side but pivotal character as a gender fluid 10-year-old kid and what a teachable moment when she fleshed out their journey, albeit brief but totally poignant, through the eyes of Vee's 10-year-old daughter, Finn. I must say, this was the first time I encountered this subject matter in a lesfic novel and I was gratified by Ellendale's decision to include this utterly important topic in the rainbow of queerness in our community in this already inclusive and superbly told story. What I thought mattered even more was the fact that the character was a child. To me, the education and awareness of gender and sexuality are the most effective and potent when it's a child. This is another reason this book is a must-read, imo! You need to read it to explore how Ellendale weaved this subplot into the fold and how Vee and the gang handled it. I was positively beguiled by this refreshingly eye-opening, educational moment! Ellendale further captivated my attention with the frank and honest chats between the kids, specifically Finn and her mum and Scar about being gay or lesbian, queer, etc... I was floored by such raw, emotional honesty and sensitivity from Ellendale's depiction of the interaction and idea exchanges between a child and an adult, especially concerning social issues. Bloody well done!
Meanwhile, because this book is intertwined with other endearing characters from Ellendale's Seattle-based Cops and Docs series, in particular, "Rabbit" and "Wildrose," I implore you to read them so you could familiarise yourself with the respective back stories of Vee's fascinating circle of friends featured in this GEM of a book. Trust me, you'll thank me later! Bear in mind, though, you can still read this new one as a stand-alone but it'd be MUCH MORE FUN if you read the others, too! For now, rush and one-click on Amazon and start reading, I'll say!
"Mermaid" has become one of my all-time favourite lesfic books, a no-brainer reread material. Christ, I've already begun my second reading! It's defo on my Top Ten list in 2019, that's for sure!
READ IT. FEEL IT. SAVOUR IT.
5.0 out of 5 stars A Tortured Soul To Love!
I have never read Max Ellendale since a lot of books center around a thirteen book series. That's a lot to invest. "Mermaid" happen to catch my eye in a quick Amazon search. It was listed as a stand alone even though it was Book 4 in the series. This book was from 2019 but I was curious. It was evident from the first chapter it was a PTSD story and the struggles of going home with her nine year old daughter in tow to start over. Veronica (Vee) returns home. A badly injured ex detective who has spent the last year recuperating and decided she and her daughter needed a change. She is staying with Jordan, who owns a beauty salon that Vee used to work in, and owns the building where she will be staying. Not one to need people, Vee is so used to being on her own, that it surprises her the support she gets from her old friends. This the "Mermaid Pod". Her daughter takes things in stride and from day one, fits in school and is making friends. As Vee is struggling to fit in and decides to do some work in the salon all while still in serious pain from her injuries. ( At this point, as Vee's friends appear, you know the history and realize that things have happened in earlier books) Then at her best friends Alice house, she meets Scarlett, their pediatrician. From that first meeting, things change and escalate very quickly. I thought too quickly as I was reading. This story turns out to be about friends who are so supportive and a love that is so real that it puts Vee at odds on how to deal on her own with her issues. I personally thought that she needed therapy from the onset but the story unravels and you can accept the way Vee and her daughter learned to accept, to love and to be free. I so enjoyed it this story, I am going to start Book 2 and Book 3 which seems to have the other characters that I was curious about from this book. I will not do the whole series but it was a lesson learned in taking a chance on this writer.
fiction.bks
5.0 out of 5 stars Talk About Good Stuff.
A total recommendation
This was so good. I was planning on sleeping early but I couldn't stop and Now it is 5am. Anyways it was worth it.
The characters, if I had this kind of circle in my life, I would be a happy woman. So beautifully built, it is mesmerising.
The emotions always on point and deep enough to actually relate to the characters. They're all my babies. I just love them.
I wish the world had more people like Vee and her crew. Such an empowering group. And Finn, that baby is the cutest, the way she defended Riley, I was taught a lesson.
More LGBTQIA centers need to be put in place, more education needs to be put out there so that hate crimes reduce esp on young people.
Very good book.
5.0 out of 5 stars Mer-velous! 😉
A nice showcasing of strong women in a strong chosen (extended) family. Vee's been through a lot of trauma and struggles to find her footing, with the unfailing and often bossy support of her mermaid pod. Ten-year-old daughter Finn is a marvel, and I just wanted to pinch her cheeks! At times, the story seemed to lag, but I was enjoying it so much that I was happy it wasn't ended yet. Some nice humor, quirky women, and all-together an enjoyable read.
C. McKinney
4.0 out of 5 stars Getting back up
This book is great if you love friendships that last forever, a woman struggling with past bad luck, and a romance that is meant to be from the start.
The characters remain interesting throughout the book. I love the mermaid pod. Ellendale doesn't disappoint with the adult scenes.
I would have liked to know more about the missing girl and how that story played out. It felt extremely rushed. I'm not even sure what really happened.
I can't stop the series now. Next up, Book 5: Hart & Stocker.
5.0 out of 5 stars Review of Mermaid by Max Ellendale
Wow I have enjoyed all of Ellendales works but this book was outstanding. Every page was a joy to read. It has thrills, sadness, joy and laughter. The characters so rich they stood out from the page and talked directly to me. The sex scenes so hot I thought my iPad would go up in flames. As an author Ellendale has grown in depth and fluency of the written word. What's next Max?
Hope Freed, UK
4.0 out of 5 stars How Vee comes to find love and acceptance ...
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 2, 2020
This is my 2nd by Max Ellendale and it's clear that her speciality is delving into the minds of (and relieving) tortured souls. Vee is the tortured soul in this who finds love and redemption with the non-blood 'family' that she surrounds herself with. It's likeable and long with a cute kid (for a pleasant change!) I loved seeing more of Allie and Stella from 'Rabbit'. As someone with a disability, I also liked that it showed that a disabled person can find and has as much a right to love and acceptance as anyone else. I just had a couple of quibbles - the speed at which Vee and Scarlett got together and then the length of time it took Vee to resolve her 'issues'. Still a good 'meaty' read though. I have a massive pile of 2BRead books on my Kindle but when I get KU again I'll be back for more of Max's books (and may well end up buying them, as I did this!)
5.0 out of 5 stars Outstanding
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 11, 2021
Another wonderful story in this series,you get to know the characters and the hardships and ups and downs they go through. Then injuries cops get and how they deal with it.
The story makes you laugh and cry from beginning to end.
Wonderful keeping up with the characters from previous series in this story.
Lovely romantic story. Looking to book 5
5.0 out of 5 stars A compelling story of life, love and family.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 26, 2020
This was the first book I have read by this author.
This novel was delightfully crafted. The characters were real.
The story kept me enthralled from the first through to last page.
A true story of life, love and family. I laughed and cried, was happy and sad, and other emotions in between.
Thank you Max Ellendale. I will look out for more of you books.
5.0 out of 5 stars Another brilliant read!
Reviewed in Canada on May 1, 2019
Max Ellendale has done it again! Another beautiful story told with all the feels to draw you in and keep you entertained. It's fun and sexy and so sweet I may have turned into a puddle of mush... can't wait for more to come from this amazing author! Now to start a re read marathon!
Shelby Downey
5.0 out of 5 stars This book touches close to home :)
Reviewed in Canada on August 24, 2019
Omg she did it again just plan amazing couldn't stop reading it can we please have a part 2 to this book and every book you write brings you so much emotion laughter and the little one omg she is to funny. Ps: for the author please write a part 2 and soon we need more to read from this book :)


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Thittam Irandu Movie Review: Great social messaging in a not-so-great whodunit- Cinema express
Thittam Irandu Movie Review: Great social messaging in a not-so-great whodunit
A solid social drama, well-made thriller weighed down by needless red herrings
Navein Darshan
Published: 30th July 2021
Director Vignesh Karthick blends two genres in his sophomore directorial, Thittam Irandu. The film is largely a whodunit thriller, evoking comparisons to Karthick Naren's Dhuruvangal Pathinaaru. There is even a similar opening shot that has a masked killer going on a homicidal rampage on a silent, rainy night. The similarities don't end there. There are other coincidences: A suspect runs into a cop neighbourhood; later, a crucial phone call gets disrupted by poor network. SI Naveen here too, is somewhat like the sidekick in D16, Gautham. Where this film really makes a case for itself is when it gracefully evolves into a social drama. It is then that it begins to touch upon sensitive topics like gender dysphoria, consent after marriage, honour killing... And this really is this film's strength.
It comes as no surprise that Vignesh who made heads turn with his viral short film series, Yours Shamefully, has handled the social issues so well in this film. The downside though is that the strength that Thittam Irandu draws from being a 'message film' causes it to plummet as a whodunit. As compensation—and fair compensation—comes the great visual treatment (cinematographer Gokul Benoy), that is ably aided by the score by Sathish Raghunathan.
Director: Vignesh Karthick
Cast: Aishwarya Rajesh, Subash Selvam, Gokul Anand, Ananya Ramprasad
Streaming on: Sony Liv
The plot begins with the 'who' and 'how' knots placed at all the right points. It's when the screenplay begins throwing up one too many red herrings and coincidences that it begins to lose its charm. However, the final reveal works wonders and leaves you with a decent aftertaste. I enjoyed how it drops on you, and how this is foreshadowed. It shows intelligence, and I caught myself wishing that the entire screenplay showed such smarts. Perhaps a good place to begin would have been to avoid placing a well-lit villa in a locality that is shown as the hide-out of a suspect.
Despite all that which happens in Thittam Irandu, Vignesh manages to fit a love story into the narrative. This relationship between the police inspector Athira (Aishwarya Rajesh) and Arjun (Subhash Selvam) is refreshingly written, and also enjoyable is how the former prefers to be treated not as a cop, but as a normal girl in the relationship. It might have been lovely to see this romance evolve over time, but instead, voice-cues lead us into the future, not exactly focussing on their affinity.
Director Vignesh seems to have won half the game with the apt casting. Gokul Anand as the gold-hearted husband Kishore sells the character effortlessly and impresses with his subtle expressions. Aishwarya Rajesh once again proves that she is a powerhouse of a performer. Be it grief, shock, betrayal or pain, her tears do a lot of talking in this film. It is a delight to watch her closeups.
Somewhere in the beginning, a 12-year-old girl jumps into a raging river, despite not being a swimmer in an attempt to save her best friend. Later, she says, "Saving her was the only intention on my mind; it didn't matter that I didn't know how to." This noble intention leaves a long-lasting impact on another girl. Director Vignesh too comes with noble intentions, even if he falls short of delivering a solid thriller. However, much like the girl did, he leaves behind a strong impression.
Vignesh Karthick Aishwarya Rajesh


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package org.sprintapi.api.vm.common;

import org.sprintapi.api.vm.foundation.BaseElement;

public interface FlowElementsContainer extends BaseElement {

	FlowElement[] getFlowElements();

}

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub


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The Nature Writer. I decided not to go on a second date with him. I called him and said that there was no romantic vibes for me. I offered friendship.
He listened to what I had to say and said he really didn't have the time to date seriously and was interested in friendship. He thanked me for my honesty.
Several days later he sent me 12 text messages one after the other. He went on and on on how he was hurt that I assumed he was interested in dating. He was also angry that I said I was going to schedule a second meeting as friends but never did.
I didn't reply. What do I say to that? It was just senseless. This seemed to be the texting of a 12 year girl and not an intelligent almost 60 year old man.
I no longer feel the need for people to understand me. Now I just let it go and don't spend the time and energy.
The concierge – I met a kind, nice gentleman. He works as a concierge in a building in Manhattan. We met at a dive bar called Trailer Park Lounge. Not a place I am used to going but it was fun and welcoming.
I ordered a burger and even before I was finished he mentioned he wanted to go to Dallas BBQ a block away. He said he loved the drinks there. The drink he ordered was one of those tropical drinks with umbrellas that you get when you go on vacation to a tropical island (picture is at the top) . It did look delicious but I already had a drink at the other bar and decided to just drink water.
While he was the nice, there was zero chemistry for me. He, on the other hand professed his love for me and wanted to see me again. What do I say to a man that is sitting across from me telling me his entire life and already making plans for a future together?
When he asked me when he was going to see me again I didn't have the heart to say: never. I didn't really say yes or no. I said that he was going too fast and that I was feeling pressured.
I should have gone for honesty, but instead I expected him to get the hint. He didn't.
And right as I am typing this I get a text from him asking me what I had decided about going on a second date. I told him that I didn't feel any romance and that I knew he didn't want to be friends. I mentioned how great I thought he was but I was not feeling it.
He replied and I quote: "I bet you say that to everyone. Thank you for wasting my time". Not only he texted me that but he also wrote me a message online.
Well, he is right. It is what I tell almost everyone because it is often the truth.
The realtor – The one I mentioned in a couple of posts ago. I described how on the first date he kept trying to kiss and hug me even after I told him numerous times to stop. Still I was wondering if I should go on a second date or not, as I thought perhaps there was potential if he would keep his hands to himself.
That is until I get a text that says: "I would like to schedule our second hug". Clearly he is not listening and has only physical interaction on his mind.
Needless to say there will not be a second date or hug.
I am not taking the replies from the above guys personally. It is coming from a place of pain. They thought I would be their future and I turn out to be just one date. I have been there. I have been on dates where I thought all it was perfect and then I never heard from them again.
I am feeling blessed. I think I dodged a few bullets.
I find myself in a conundrum. I want to have an open mind and go on dates with guys that at first glance are not really my type but that perhaps will surprise me, and yet I see the need now to be even more discriminating.
We met on Match.com and after some back and forth messages I gave him my phone number. I have no rhyme or reason for giving or not giving my phone number to someone. It is all about a feeling and how a person asks.
After some short texts we met in person at a wine bar called Pino. It was a tiny cute place and the manager was very nice.
We both like to talk a lot, so we had a very lively fun conversation. I just had one glass of rose wine and he had a couple of tequila drinks. There was no food involved. I had eaten before hand because he asked me for "drinks" so I assumed correctly that there was no food involved.
He is single, never married, no kids. Just like me. He is selling his apartment in the city located just a couple of blocks from my office, and buying a house on the New Jersey shore. I don't envision retiring and spending my days on a boat so I already see issues if this relationship is to go forward.
It was more friendly than romantic, but I need another date to confirm it. We have been exchanging a few texts and a couple of quick phone calls. We are scheduled to go out tonight and I am still trying to decide if I should go through with it.
We met on POF. He is Scottish living in the US for a long time. He is divorced with one 11 year daughter.
He works from his Hoboken, NJ home for a company several hours away. He knows I like mosaic and whimsical art so he has been sending me pictures of every mosaic and art work he has encountered along his way. And there has been a lot. I thought that was cute and thoughtful.
We agreed to meet at the subway on 33rd and Park and from there we rode to Astor Place. Once there we saw some street art and started walking around. I love that area! At one point we stopped by a bakery and we each had a miniature cupcake. It was okay but nothing I would care to eat again.
After a few more blocks of walking around and him explaining the details of this once very Ukrainian neighborhood I saw a restaurant called Yuca Bar and immediately became interested. I love fried yucca.
It was a Latin restaurant with lots of Brazilian flavors. I had the passion fruit caipirinha and it was on point. I was disappointed with the yucca fries as it was not just the root boiled and fried but a mixture of mashed yucca breaded and fried. It was okay but not the real thing. He had guacamole and chips and I had the skirt steak and rice. He is vegetarian.
After dinner, we went to a dive bar called Blue & Gold and talked about soccer while I sipped a club soda and he had draft beer. This bar had the cheapest drinks I have ever seen in Manhattan.
We then took the Subway back to Grand Central. He walked me to my train and we hugged good bye.
We have been exchanging texts since then. I don't think there is any romance but I may go on a second date to confirm that. He asked me on a second date this Saturday but I am busy so we will choose another day.
We met on POF over a month ago. In that time he went on a hiking vacation in Argentina and still managed to contact me every day. He doesn't have my number so we just exchange messages on POF. He said he gave me his number. Maybe he did. Maybe I will use it.
We finally met Tuesday at Stout, a pub on 41st street. I had eaten before meeting him so it was mostly drinks. I had Prosecco, he had draft beer and we shared fingers. All was delicious.
He is divorced with 2 teenage daughters. He just bought a house very far and now commutes over 2 and a half hours each way every day. That has me already thinking that geographically we are not an ideal match.
He is a very nice gentleman though and even though, again, I didn't feel any real chemistry I am willing to go on a second date and see what happens.
All 3 are very interesting guys and I am glad I met them. I am willing to go on a second date with all of them. I do also see some issues with all of them. Are these real issues or am I just working extra hard to find something wrong with them? who knows… I am trying to keep an open mind and go on second dates before dismissing a nice person.
"One of the reasons the team on NCIS works so well-is that they live by their leader's rules-which are not a secret .
What are your rules/standards? Do the people in your life know what they are? Do you hold grudges/resentments when they don't measure up? Do you pretend that everything is fine-when it's not-and close up a little every day?
When was the last time YOU reviewed/upgraded your standards/expectations rules-and took a look at the impact around you/checked in?
Friends and dates and a kiss at the end.
On Saturday I met my doctor friend for brunch. As I mentioned before we dated a few times 2 years ago and then things fizzled. Still every now and then we would talk or text.
After being too busy to meet the last few times he asked we met for brunch 2 weeks ago and it was fun. After one week he called and invited me to brunch again.
We went to the restaurant we always go to. In the past we tried different ones only to decide that this is our favorite. It was a Saturday and the place was quieter then on Sundays.
We were there from 12 to 4 pm. We drank a divine prosecco and talked about life. We challenge each other to think deeper and look further. We talk about everything, self-improvement, family, fears, wants, ego, karma, etc.
At one point he put his hand on my leg near my knee. He asked if I was okay with that. It may seem funny or weird, but I was okay with that. I knew it would not go anywhere so it presented no danger or awkwardness to me. I think the prosecco made him do it. I think the prosecco made me say ok.
Don't you think you are being rude?
He apologized and said I was right and explained what he was texting about. He turned his phone off for the rest of the lunch.
I think he and I have an easy friendship that I don't intend to change into anything else, hand on my leg or not.
On Sunday I met a graphic designer I met on Match. This was our first date.
We both got there 30 minutes early. Him by design, me because I thought the agreed time was 12:00 instead of the actual 12:30.
I had scrambled eggs and a coffee as I was still not able to eat a lot food.
He was handsome, nice, personable and smart. But I didn't really feel an attraction, a connection. Our lifestyle and life wants are different. Don't get me wrong I appreciate the differences in people but in this case it would frustrate me.
He is very laid back and I feel I would have to be the one in charge of the relationship. I have been the one in charge of relationships in the past and I don't want to do it again.
I say that not as criticism of him but just to point out why I think we are not a match.
He said he liked me and said he wanted to go on a second date, but hasn't called yet, which I find it is often the case. I think he and most guys, wants me to call them back or say something first. Sadly he will have to wait forever.
I have just returned from a date tonight. He is a 34 year old Jewish accountant. Yes I said 34!!! I am 51!! So there is a bit of age difference. He is recently divorced with no kids.
Of course I think our age difference is too much for a relationship but I didn't think there was any harm in meeting for a drink.
We were going to meet at a rooftop bar but it was closed for a private event so we just crossed the street and went to a Cuban restaurant.
M. was fun, personable, and cute in a boyish way. There were some hints of chemistry. I had a passion fruit drink and appetizer of beef and fried yucca, and they were delicious. After it, he walked me to the station.
On the way, suddenly, he stopped and kissed me. I still have stitches in my gum from my surgery, still I welcomed the surprising gesture.
We will see each other again, if anything to just settle a bet. We bet $5.00 on the Jet/Chiefs game on Sunday. I picked the Chiefs.
With my friend still in town, everything has been fun and games.
We went to see The Phantom of the Opera. I have seen it over a dozen times but I still think that it is a must-see for tourists. We walked the Brooklyn Bridge and took the ferry back to NY. I want to go back and walk from Brooklyn to Manhattan at night. We spent a couple of days in Mystic, CT and Westerly, RI. We enjoyed the casinos in Connecticut and had dinner at the Ocean House in Westerly. It was wonderful!
It is hard to be a good host and still put myself first.
In the meantime, my dating life continues slowly and steadily. For some reason I still continue to think about the widower that I had great chemistry with. He says that he is giving me space to spend time with my guests, but what I hear is: "I am not that interested". I already know that it will not work between us but something in me still wants him and doesn't want to give up. Perhaps the part of me that enjoys getting hurt in the name of love.
There is so much I would like to tell him if he could only stand a serious and deep conversation, as he puts it.
I want to say that I understand. I understand being in pain. I understand being unable to turn back the clock and get the past back. I understand when people look at you and think that you should be over it by now and still you can't. All you want to do is crawl into a ball and hide.
I understand it and still I want to point out that he has choices. He can continue to choose to feel like a victim or he can choose to move on. He can choose to live or just exist. The choice seems clear but sometimes we feel powerless to move.
Whatever he chooses to do or not to do I wish him well.
I had a date with an Ancient History teacher. It was nice but no chemistry for me. He asked me on a second date, I said yes but I haven't scheduled anything yet. I am not sure it is worth to waste his time if I already know I am not feeling it.
I had a date yesterday with a retired doctor. He was so sweet. He drove almost 2 hours to come and meet me for lunch. The best part is that I got to bring my friend and my sister also. We had a great meal at a great restaurant. He was so gracious and funny, but I am not sure I felt any chemistry. He texted a couple of times since yesterday and I am not sure what to do if he asks me on a second date.
This is the moment when my rose colored glasses are foggy!
I have been writing, but I haven't been posting. I normally write a post, step away from it for a little bit then I re-read and publish it. Lately by the time I reread it I feel the post no longer represents my feelings, or the opposite it is so honest it is painful, so I end up not publishing it all.
I don't care about being a good writer but I care a great deal about being completely honest. I also care about never forgetting how blessed I am, so it is very hard for this blessed self assured optimist to write about feeling unhappy. What I have been writing about lately has me being portrayed as a victim. oh poor me! There is nothing I hate more than playing the victim.
At this rate I will never post anything again so, for better or worse, I decided to give you a summary of what all those unpublished posts were about.
Being unhappy at work. Lately I am having a love-hate relationship with my work. I no longer feel comfortable there and want a change. By the time I re-read 3 pages about all that is going on at work I realized that it was the victim in me speaking. My job is the same and, although, some of the co-workers are different, their attitude are the same (demanding self entitled know it alls). I am the one that changed. I am probably just being more sensitive and a bit bored.
What I know is that being momentarily unhappy and uncomfortable can be a good thing. It can make me look around and see what else I could be doing. Looking around can show me that I have better than most people. I have a good job with a good salary and good perks. I am my own boss there. If I get another job I will probably have to deal with people telling me what to do. Nothing worst for an Aries and Horse to be told what to do.
More than once last week I felt like quitting on the spot. Mortgages and a credit line help me realize that I cannot afford to be impulsive. Every job has good and bad, and mine is much better than most. Why throw that away?
Why just write and complain if I am not going to do anything about it? and immediately I start thinking of what to do. I can improve myself in all areas so that when opportunities come knocking I am ready to answer. I can also create my own opportunities instead of just waiting for it. I can get my resume out to test the market, network, take classes, be more involved in my industry, improve certain functions on my day to day.
Being unhappy with my body. My hip hurts, I am addicted to sugar, my waist is not as noticeable as before, and the list goes on and on. Truth is my body is amazing and it looks great for all I put it through. I don't do the hip exercises as often as I should. I eat so much sugar it is a wonder I don't just melt every time I get under the shower. My 30 minutes on the elliptical machine is an absolute joke; it is just a walk on the park while watching TV. So why just complain to you about that? Why try to justify to you the extra pounds? I know what I have to do. Writing pages about the unhappiness with my body is another way of avoiding doing what it needs to be done: more moving and less talking.
Start slow, be consistent. It is not a race. Ignore the little voices distracting me from the hard work. I am one of God's amazing creations and I am perfect!
Being unhappy with some actions I want to take. One example: I want to see someone I know it is not for me. When I say "see" I don't mean date, I mean meet, and if the mood is right take things further. I crave intimacy. I realized that in writing that, I really wanted you (the reader and friend) to give me permission. I wanted you tell me that it is okay to act in the moment, enjoy my body and forget about the consequences. How unfair of me to put you in that position, to either condone my actions or point the error of my ways.
I know better! I know that I am deserving of more. Amazing chemistry can be, well, amazing, but if there is no future it is just not for me. He is wrong but he is comfortable I know what I am getting into, I have been there before – The moment was amazing, the after was less so (and back then he was not kind of taken as he is now, he was just not right for me). I don't need you to point out what a big mistake would be to revisit the past. Even though it would be exciting and fun, it would not be enough to make me forget my morals. There is also a little detail called "karma". Knowing something is wrong and doing it anyway will definitely attract bad karma. Why should I invite drama and not keep myself free from entanglements and open for the good to come in.
I wrote about moments of total uncertainty, of so much doubt that I feel paralyzed. There are times I want to be rescued. I want a super-hero to step in and save the day, to show me the way, to guide me. Do you realize how difficult it is for me to actually write that?
At the end of the day I realize only I can rescue myself. The guidance I need comes from God and the Universe and is already within me. I just need to be quiet enough to listen to it. I need to tune out the distractions, the little doubtful voices of uncertainty and focus on hope and possibilities.
Fear only appears to caution but not to paralyze me. Fear says: pay attention, this is important, so thread lightly. Troubles, problems, stress, uncertainty, discomfort, etc are all amazing sources to growth and wisdom. I want to befriend my fears, talk to them, listen to them. They have a lot to teach me.
Discomfort is also good to signal the need for a change. Nothing has ever been accomplished by people that were happy with status quo.
My list of unhappy posts goes on and on, but I gather from all this that my hesitation in posting certain things is because I don't want to appear weak, depressive, lazy, needy, pessimistic. In those writings I seek comfort and approval. What an awful realization for someone so adventurous and self-assured like me . Or is this weak thing the real me?
I am blessed and complaining feels ungrateful and unjustified. But still I am human, flawed, imperfect, wanting someone to hold me and tell me it will be okay. In the end I am telling myself that I can have unhappy and weak moments but I don't have to permanently stay there. I can see those moments for what they are: lessons to learn, test of faith.
What once was so natural to me: my optimism, now takes a little effort. But I am not afraid of challenges so I will embrace it all. I will concentrate on the positive, will make a point of seeing the beauty in everything and, most important, be grateful for all. I am opening my door to discomfort, problems, stress, unhappiness and all else, as I know that in the lessons and rewards they bring are limitless.
I will not freeze, even if slow, I will continue moving. I will continue forging ahead putting my heart and beliefs first. God has my back and is my strength, what am I to fear? Who am I to question that?
I will value myself and I will choose to be with people that value me and that make me feel good about myself. I give 100% and I am deserving of 100%, I am not settling for less, even for a moment!
I am not re-reading this, as I am already second guessing myself if I should post it. So please look past the typos and grammatical errors and take a dip in the murky waters of my mind.
When people leave they do you a favor!
I turned 50 years old on Monday and the world didn't stop 🙂 Nothing really changed. I am not feeling completely renewed or anything like that. There was no huge celebration. It was just another day.
I took the day off as I didn't want to deal with my co-workers wishing me happy birthday. That didn't really work as I got all the birthday wishes and cupcakes the next day. This was my sister's birthday also (we are identical twins), so eventually we will be taking a big trip to celebrate.
I am promising myself to make 50 look like 25!! I want to really wake up for each day and embrace it.
As I mentioned before I have been taking a break from online dating, but I am already starting to get bored. I know, I know that I could be doing many other things other than dating to cure my boredom, but the truth also is that I know my Prince is out there so I intend to look for him, or at least help him find me.
I am now trying to decide what online dating site I will try next. I have tried E-Harmony and Plenty of Fish, and they both had good and bad points. I am thinking of Match or perhaps Ourtime. Any suggestions or recommendations?
Do you remember the doctor that I dated for awhile back last summer/fall? When we dated I thought we would be perfect for each other. We had similar ideas about a lot of things. I thought he was incredible. We were seeing each other twice a week, then he disappeared for a month. Later he started texting again every now and then. I kept an open mind but as time passed and he remained mostly silent I lost interest.
I had not seen him for months but still every time he texted I replied because I still think he would be a cool friend. On Tuesday when he texted I mentioned my birthday the day before and he wanted to take me out to dinner to celebrate. I said yes.
It was awesome! Amazing restaurant, amazing food and drink, but the best part for me was having the confirmation that I have zero interest in him romantically. At the end of the evening I let him kiss me goodnight and I felt nothing.
At one point during dinner I asked him: How is your dating life? He said: You are not allowed to ask that. I started laughing. For many reasons: First because I remember asking him that same question before and getting the same answer, second because I believe I can ask whatever I want, and last because the question was meaningless to me, it was just a conversation topic for me as we were both catching up on each other's lives. It would have not made a difference what the answer was. I thought it was funny that the thought I would care. I also found him distasteful.
I felt so blessed at that moment. I felt blessed that the answer (or non-answer) that at one point in the past hurt me, now made me laugh. In the past when he refused to answer I thought he was actively dating other people and I felt hurt and a bit betrayed.
I guess he thinks that I am still interested in him romantically. Now I have to decide what to do when he asks me out again, as I know he will. I want to go as friends, but I could tell that he probably thinks that we can pick up where we left off. We can't! That ship has sailed. The moment is gone. I guess I will cross that bridge when I get to it, and will exercise honesty always!
I love realizing that his disappearing act was a blessing. It was the needed break that was instrumental in my realizing that he is not for me. I was infatuated with him and everything that he has accomplished and I had let that blind me. What a mistake it would have been if things had become serious between us.
For awhile when he disappeared I felt like contacting him. But then I realized gracefully that things and people are removed from our lives for a reason. Sometimes is for us to appreciate them more, other times for us to realize we don't need them at all, and we are deserving of more. In this case it was the latter.
Wishing everyone a blessed weekend! May you notice all the little miracles around you!
Life is flying by while I try to hang on and get things done…in the meantime my blog suffers in silence, and for that I am sorry and will try to be much better in 2016.
Audit at work: Still not finished. It is a struggle for me to live with unfinished things such as this. I like to know when things will end, and how will they end. How audits on a company of 15 people take 4 months is beyond me. Government at its best!
Family: It is hard being far from my family at this moment. Mom and dad aren't young anymore and right now they have a lot of health issues. I am learning to live with the fact that things will probably get even harder. I am learning to accept the natural progression of life.
Christmas Spirit: I have never really been a Christmas person. I normally don't fly to Brazil to be with my family around the holidays. I either spend it with friends or alone. And just between us, I often favor being alone, making some nice comfort food and watching a fun movie.
It turns out that the kissing improved… a lot! I realized that he was just so nervous around me on the first 2 dates. I also realized that finding fault with his kiss is my way of finding something wrong and therefore an excuse to run away.
I decided to make more of an en effort. I decided to be less critical and more open. I am trying not to sabotage this relationship. I am trying to let things be and go and flow as they will. Still at times I catch myself testing him, trying to push him away. It feels like I could say or do anything and he will still be here, it is such a wonderful freeing feeling.
This relationship is extremely new, just a month old and yet it feels like forever. We have only seen each other a handful of times. We continue to speak for a couple of hours every night. Our conversations range from events of the day to childhood memories. I find myself telling him stupid stories that I have never told anyone. It is so easy to talk to him. He makes everything seem easy.
We are very similar on our morals, wants, needs and dreams, but still we are extremely different on so much more. He is shy, I am out there. He is gentle, I am aggressive. He is Pisces, I am Aries. He is Monkey, I am Horse. My brutal honesty and in your face approach doesn't scare him. He says he is up to the challenge. I wonder if he knows what he is in for. I wonder if the novelty will wear off.
He is thoughtful and remembers things I tell him. Like when I said that my favorite flowers were daisies and sunflowers and he shows up with them.
I have already met his 8 year old son. It was a short meeting and it went well. I also already met his co-workers. I went to his work Holiday dinner, it was fun and everyone was welcoming. At the end of the December I am going to North Carolina to meet his best friend. Perhaps it is all a bit too fast, but I figure that knowing the important people in his life will give me a better idea of who he is.
It feels wonderful to have someone that cares and is not afraid to say it and show it. It is refreshing to meet someone that is not into all the dating games people play. He says what he means and means what he says.
I feel I found that rare combination of friend and lover all in one. The possibilities seem limitless. My heart is constantly singing.
He had just started online dating when I met him. I had given up, contacting him was my last act before taking down my profile. When he replied and we clicked it felt nothing short of a miracle. At times I feel he hasn't been out there enough. His divorce was final in March and he was separated a year before that. When I tell him that he should do some more dating to figure out what he wants, he tells me that he has already found what he wants and doesn't need to do any more searching. I shut up and smile.
It is in his kiss, or is it?
As I mentioned previously I decided to quit online dating for awhile. It was becoming like work and not fun anymore, so I figure a break was in order. On the final days of my e-Harmony subscription I decided to email MF. I never contact anyone, I always wait for them to contact me, but since I was quitting anyway I figure I would take this leap and contact him. MF is 47 but looks extremely young for his age. He did show me his driver's license so I confirmed his age.
He replied and we hit of immediately. For over 2 weeks we spoke daily on the phone for many hours (we still do). Some evenings we spoke for as long as 3 hours. We bonded over Seinfeld and our gratitude for life, among other things. The longer we talked and as the days went the expectation was building up. Finally last Thursday we met in person. The chemistry we had on the phone was also there in person. He was every bit the sweet gentleman I expected. We were immediately comfortable with one another. He was a bit nervous and it was cute to see that.
On Saturday we had another date. We went to a Brazilian Steakhouse and we both overate. It is impossible to go to one of those and not overeat. Afterwards, it was still early, so he asked me what I wanted to do. I decided that we should just return to my apartment and watch a movie. I trust him. He actually he came over the first night I met him. Please keep in mind that I do not advise anyone inviting anyone over after just one meeting, but in this case I felt very safe and comfortable in doing that. I knew nothing was going to happen.
We got to my apartment and I put a movie on Netflix. After after about 20 minutes I fell asleep. He was left to watch the movie by himself. When the movie ended he woke me up to say good bye and close the door.
He mentioned to me yesterday that he doesn't quite know what to make of my falling asleep on the date. He said he is looking at the positive side that I am very comfortable with him, instead of thinking he is so boring he put me to sleep.
I am not over thinking that one. I am sure worst things have happened on first dates. It was a heavy dinner and I had a cocktail. I also was tired from all our late nights on the phone.
What I am right now is extremely confused. On one hand I found someone exactly as I have been asking God to send me. He is gentle, caring, responsible, and honest. He is interested, willing and able. He wants to travel and do things. He is not too young or too old.
On the other hand I am not sure what I want. He is everything I thought I wanted and now he is here and I just don't know. I know I am extremely comfortable and happy with my single life, but I think life is better as a couple. I keep dreaming of finding a partner and now he is here. Is he the one?
He seems to like me a bit too much. It seems that I could do no wrong in his eyes. No one wants what is too easy, too simple, too available. Do I want only who doesn't want me? Is that a self defense mechanism?
He is so much like me. He is open and forthcoming with everything. He has no problems talking about his feelings, needs and wants. He has no problems divulging everything about his life. I have met my match and now what?
I have been honest with him and told him how I feel and, not surprisingly, he was extremely understanding. He said we should take it easy and take a day at a time and if friendship is all that I want he will be happy to have that as he thinks I am a real cool person.
So, what is my issue? Fear? I fear using him, hurting him. I fear settling. I guess I am not as fearless as I thought.
Also, and perhaps this is the real crux of the matter: I didn't care for his kiss. I have not been honest with him about that. He didn't ask, so I didn't volunteer. How can you tell someone that their kiss is not what you expected and hoped for it?
I am not saying he doesn't know how to kiss. He just doesn't know enough to my liking. It felt hurried, and too much, but not in a good way. It seemed he was trying too hard, not natural. Should I hurt his feelings and tell him that? Men have such fragile egos. He is extremely nice and kind and the last thing I want to do is hurt him or offend him. But kissing is extremely important to me. I cannot imagine being with someone that I don't care to kiss.
Is there a way that I can gently tell him that his kissing is sub-par?
Can I teach him how to kiss? Can I do it without offending him?
Can the kissing get better? Can you turn a bad kiss into a bad kisser into a good kisser?
Does he think that that was a good kiss?
What about me? I think I am such a great kisser, but what if I am not? How does one know?
If this is how he kisses, how will the rest be? Do I even want to find out?
Is bad kissing a reason to break up with someone?
Perhaps finding an issue with his kiss is my way of finding a reason to break up with him, and continue to be single and free?
There is this one guy, I will call him J., I wrote about him before. We met in the train while commuting to work several years ago. There was an immediate attraction, so we enjoyed many flirtatious train trips. I didn't have a boyfriend but he was married. We didn't want drama, so it ended before it began. It became a friendship. (yeah, yeah, I shouldn't have been flirting with a married man to begin with, I am a shameless flirt, but I am older and wiser now) We kept in touch on and off. Years later when he got divorced he called me and asked me out for a drink to catch up, but at the time I was living with EX and I didn't think it was a good idea so I declined. He understood.
After EX and I broke up J. and I met up again but by this time he was seeing someone else. Soon after that he got married. I was a tad surprised by the marriage as I didn't expect someone to get married so soon after a crazy divorce. Not everyone feels they have to spend time mourning the demise of a relationship like I do.
*Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing, only a signal shown, and a distant voice in the darkness; So on the ocean of life, we pass and speak one another, only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence.
Fast forward to today. I saw he had a new picture on LinkedIn and sent a quick note saying I like the picture and saying I hoped he was well. After a couple of replies he tells me that there has been some personal changes, and I guessed, correctly, that he had become a father again, after all, as they say, after marriage comes baby and carriage.
At times I like the idea of a baby, I even long for one, but having a baby is no longer an option, it is not longer up to me…that ship has sailed. It would be awesome to have that choice forever. There are always options, I affirm to myself.
Reality is that J. and I would never be a great long lasting match. There was chemistry and mutual admiration but that wouldn't be enough to sustain it. We would be great partners in some project but not in love. My sadness over "what if" is unwarranted. If we were meant to be and if I really liked him and he liked me we would have made it happen.
Stubbornly tears fall, and yet through tears I realize how awesome my life is and how I would not have it any other way. God has a plan and I trust in that! I am where I should be, baby-less, husband-less, but content, blessed and grateful!
I am blaming a poor baby for the tears in my eyes and the pain in my heart, but he is not the whole reason behind the tears. It has been an emotional day. As soon as I got to work I got a call that my mother was in the emergency room with chest pains. She is fine now; it was just a false alarm. But that was enough of a reminder of how far, geographically, I am from my family. I am reminded that one day I will get a phone call that will cut me like a knife, what will I do then? A feeling of powerlessness invades me and tears threaten to fall. I let them. There is nothing I can do but pray for a peaceful heart and mind.
Fast car, Slow speech, Cheap date: No Future!
Well, the answer is: It was really good and then really bad!
It is amazing how it can go from great to insane in one day.
At his insistence we went to a very expensive restaurant in New York City. I mentioned it was not necessary and that he should choose a less expensive place, but he insisted and said that I could pay for the drinks if it would make me feel better about it. I agreed.
We spent over 2 hours at the restaurant. Conversation flowed. He seemed honest and caring. At the end of the evening I felt so comfortable with him that I accepted his offer to drive me home. It was out of his way but he said it would give us a chance to talk more. I think he wanted to show off his car, a brand new Porsche Macan. While I don't care about material things, especially cars, I couldn't help but love the red leather interior. I love red leather anything!
The drive home was fast and fun. He held my hand and it felt natural and comfortable. It all seemed just perfect. When we got to my building he walked me to the entrance and kissed me on the cheek. Ten minutes later he called me from the car to say that he would like to see me again. He also asked me to give him one month to get to know him; he asked that I did not date other people during that one month so that he would have my undivided attention. I said I would think about it, but, really, I was okay with that.
I was very excited about this date. He seemed very smart, with good job that he loved, a respected professional, handsome (which is surprising because I normally don't go for handsome). I saw and felt potential.
The next day (Friday) he texted me to say he really enjoyed meeting me the night before and to invite me to go hiking on Sunday. I loved the idea! I said I would call him after work to discuss the details.
I called him around 7pm. What happened next is very hard to find the words to describe: The phone rang, he picked up but there was no Hello, there was what it seemed like a conversation in a very slurred voice going on in the background. At first I thought that perhaps he didn't realize he answered the phone and the TV was on. I kept listening and trying to make sense of whatever I was hearing, which seemed to be a far away mumbling voice. After awhile I said hello again, a bit louder and firmer this time. Then I heard something like: I am fine but just feeling a bit discombobulated. I said: excuse? At this point I told him that I thought something was wrong with my phone and asked him to speak louder. He did speak louder and now there was a bit less slurring, but instead of having a conversation he immediately launched into a monologue about Winston Churchill and the war. He kept talking and talking, and I was thinking to myself, is this guy drunk or on drugs, and how I can get out of this.
At this point I knew in my gut that there was no future in this relationship. Well I actually knew it when he first picked up the phone.
Finally I was able to get a break in the monologue and I asked: Is this a book you are reading? He said it was a documentary. After he talked about Churchill some more, I asked another question and we actually started having a conversation.
I was floored! I don't mind paying for things, but for a man to ask something like that after one date it seems in very poor taste. If he cannot afford a second date, then he shouldn't be dating. I said I had never been asked that before so I didn't know what to say. He went on and on how that was the fair thing to do and it is best to get money issues out of the way. He said I am his first date in over 2 ½ years and that the previous girlfriend spent over 10K of his money.
There was a lot conversation about money and dating, with him trying to make me understand where he was coming from and with me telling him that I was not his ex-girlfriend. At one point I offered to write him a check for my part of the dinner the night before. I also reminded him that I didn't want to go to an expensive place in the first place (to which he said he wanted it to be memorable and wanted it to become "our" place). I also reminded him that I had gladly paid for the drinks.
At some point he started backpedaling and telling me to forget about this issue of paying for dates. He said that we should just meet and see where it goes. I told him I was going to think about it all and call him in the morning. I already knew where I stood but I knew that he would continue to try to convince me otherwise. We said good bye and hung up, but 10 minutes later he started texting me. One of the many things that he mentioned in the texts was that he would pack sandwiches of peanut butter and jelly for Sunday so that we wouldn't have to worry about paying for lunch. I told him that he was missing the point. To get him to stop with the texting I again said he needed to give me time to think about it.
I have never been so relieved about being broken up with! He said I have issues with money, and that even though I was a great person and he would love to see me again, the money issues were too much. He went on and on about both, how great I am and how I have issues with money.
I don't want to go in detail to protect his privacy but he had mentioned needing to go to therapy and taking antidepressants at some point in the past. I was a bit alarmed by that but I appreciated his honesty and openness. I also liked that he gotten help when he needed. I am now assuming he is still taking antidepressants and perhaps on Friday, his day off from work, he took one too many. Whatever the issue maybe I feel sorry for him because it seems he definitely has an issue that needs to be addressed. I also feel that even though he seems like he is taking steps to protect himself, he seems primed to be taken advantage of again.
After being spoiled with mostly normal to great online dates I now have had 2 doozies. They both had issues that I am not willing to handle. I am feeling so blessed that I got to discover those issues right away, before I started trusting and liking them and let my guard down.
Perhaps I am the one with issues as I am still not giving up online dating. More mistakes made. More lessons learned. More stories to tell and write about.


Kellye Kincannon doubled to left center.
Cassandra Barefield doubled to center field, RBI; Kellye Kincannon scored.
Brittany Virgoe doubled to left center.
Kisling, Paige singled to left field; Rippy, Delynn advanced to second.
Taukeiaho, Missy singled to right field; Kisling, Paige advanced to second; Rippy, Delynn advanced to third.
Rodriguez, Courtney doubled, advanced to third on the throw, 3 RBI; Taukeiaho, Missy scored; Kisling, Paige scored; Rippy, Delynn scored.
Crawford, Eliza singled to right field, RBI; Rodriguez, Courtney scored.
Padilla, Kylie reached on a fielder's choice; Clemetson, Brooke advanced to second on a throwing error by 3b, advanced to third on the throw.
Galarza, Samantha grounded out to 1b, RBI; Vandiver, Samantha advanced to second; Clemetson, Brooke scored.
Cassandra Barefield singled to left field.
Natalie Landry singled to right field; Cassandra Barefield advanced to second.
Brittany Virgoe reached on a fielder's choice; Natalie Landry advanced to second; Cassandra Barefield out at third p to 3b.
Kisling, Paige advanced to second on a passed ball.
Rodriguez, Courtney doubled down the rf line, RBI; Kisling, Paige scored, unearned.
Crawford, Eliza to dp for Clemetson, Brooke.
Sidney Salmans singled to second base.
Micayla Sorosiak doubled to right center; Sidney Salmans advanced to third.
Kellye Kincannon grounded out to 2b, RBI; Micayla Sorosiak advanced to third; Sidney Salmans scored.
Brittney Jones to 1b for Baylee Gray.
Ybarra, Bryanna pinch hit for Kisling, Paige.
Ybarra, Bryanna reached first on a fielding error by 2b.
Kisling, Paige to lf for Ybarra, Bryanna.
Hailee Rhodes singled down the lf line.
Micayla Sorosiak homered to center field, 2 RBI; Sidney Salmans scored.


Active Sales Engineer 32Bit Bilgisayar Hiz.Ltd.Şti.
We are looking for passionate junior sales responsible to join our sales team, focusing on selling software products and implementation services.
The location for the sales team is our Head Ofiice in Feneryolu/Kadıköy.
The successful sales responsible is a self-motivated team player who excels at cultivating executive-level, strategic relationships while developing new business.
He/she is responsible and accountable for growth, value, strategy, and satisfaction among a small number of elite clients and accomplishes those objectives through relationship management, cross-selling, innovation and thought.
He/she understands client needs, mobilizes necessary resources and proposes "Innovative and disruptive" strategies to the customer base.
The sales responsible shall report to the Sales Manager.
• Ability to effectively communicate and negotiate with both technical and non-technical stake holders.
• Providing feedback to improve the sales process.
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• Candidates must be high-energy individuals with a focus on generating as much face time with customers as possible.
• Candidates should have a proven ability to self-manage and prioritize work based on opportunity.