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Tag: Washington Post
Let's talk about crossing the uncrossable border…Zip-Lock shinny…a COVID Carnival with car hops and the Fonz in E-Town…Winnipeg the grid Hub Bubble…what's in a name?…Vlad the Bad's lifetime contract…Citizen Kane's fantasy world…and other things on my mind
Another Sunday smorgas-bored…and, speaking of flattening the curve, here's something else that'll probably fall flat…
Did I miss a memo?
I mean, all I heard three months ago was this mantra: COVID-19 is "bigger than sports." Athletes said it, league leaders said it, owners said it, medics said it, the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker and your neighborhood bookie said it.
It became the most-repeated creed since the Sermon on the Mount. Or at least since Richard M. Nixon tried to convince us that he was "not a crook."
Thus, power brokers pulled the plug on every athletic event known to the human species—including the Olympic Games—and, hey, while we're at it, let's shutter the Canada-U.S. border for the first time since the British put a torch to the White House. We'll open it again once squints in lab coats have a handle on this pesky coronavirus thing, because it's "bigger than sports."
News snoops and opinionists brayed in concert, even though jock journos recognized that there would be a scramble to fill sports pages and air time with quality content while every league remained in lockdown.
No doubt about it. This was a three-alarm pandemic. Much "bigger than sports." Still is, actually.
Except here we are today and apparently COVID-19 has become an inconvenience no worse than a bad case of zits or rump rot.
Seriously. The squints have yet to discover a vaccine. Medics don't have a handle on long-term effects of the coronavirus. There is no herd immunity. To mask or not to mask remains a debate. People are still dying. All hell is breaking loose in the United States. But, hey, the girls and boys have been without their play things long enough, so let's allow the athletes back into the playground. After all, "sports is bigger than COVID-19."
Now, I haven't heard any among the decision-makers actually say that aloud, but that's only because words tend to get muffled behind those pesky coronavirus face masks.
Oh, wait. In their rush to return to the playgrounds at the elite level of professional jockdom, the power brokers forgot to put on their face masks. Either that or, like Donald Trump, they don't believe they're necessary, even as the pandemic eats away at the United States like termites on a two-by-four.
Whatever the circumstance, the Toronto Blue Jays requested permission to flee a COVID-19 hot zone, Florida, and transport their bats, their balls and, perhaps, a fresh wave of COVID-19 to the Republic of Tranna. And, sure enough, Trudeau the Younger has given them the okie-dokie to commence training exercises in The ROT.
Moreover, Trudeau the Younger shall give ponder to the Tranna Nine's wish to contest the home portion of their 60-game Major League Baseball crusade at home, allowing outfits from the COVID-ravaged U.S. to cross the uncrossable border and wander among the rabble willy-nilly. Even as 38 MLB players/employees have already tested positive for COVID-19.
I'm no epidemiologist, but I'd feel safer telling Mike Tyson his face tattoo looks stupid.
Meantime, the National Hockey League plans to establish hub bubbles in the Republic of Tranna and Edmonton, allowing players/attendants from two dozen American-based clubs to cross the uncrossable border and put locals at risk.
Oh, sure, they're telling us the shinny elite will be going about their daily business in a safety zone sealed tighter than the tombs housing little green people at Area 51, but that isn't as simple as stuffing last night's leftovers into a Ziploc bag. Anyone who's spent time observing young, testosterone-fueled athletes can tell you they don't tuck themselves in when the street lights go on. To some, curfew and a wake-up call arrive at the same hour in the a.m.
Trust me, after a month in lockup, even downtown Edmonton will begin to look like Shangri-La, and a few of the boys (probably the St. Louis Blues led by Brett Hull) will make a jail break in search of peeler bars and those mountain ranges and streams Alberta Premier Jason Kenney promised them.
I suppose I shouldn't care, because I'm safely removed from the fray, and if the deep thinkers in E-Town and the Republic of Tranna want to expose their rabble to a hike in COVID cases, who am I to squawk?
But I'd really like to know how and when the pandemic being "bigger than sports" became a case of sports being "bigger than COVID-19."
I realize I can be a total ditz at times, a circumstance that plagues me with increasing regularity as I slide deeper into my dotage, but it confounds me how fan-free NHL games would make anyone in E-Town or The ROT giddy. I mean, oh joy, they get to watch the Oilers and Leafs on TV. You know, just like the rest of us.
Potsie, Ralph, the Fonz and Richie.
Count veteran essayist Terry Jones of Postmedia E-town among the giddy. Once the Alberta capital had been confirmed as one of the two zip-lock shinny sites, he could scarcely contain his glee. "Edmonton in the summer is a festival city and this year all those festivals have been cancelled," the dean of Canadian jock journos wrote. "But with proper social distancing, you can have a hockey festival. It's going to be fun to see what Edmonton can create. Imagine big screen video boards erected around town and fans watching games in their cars Drive-In Movie style with Dog & Suds style car hops delivering food and beverages." Ya, sure, and maybe the Fonz, Richie, Potsie and Ralph can drop by for the ceremonial faceoff.
I'm not saying the E-Town-proud Jonesy is wrong to wave pom-poms for his burg. Hometown boosterism is one of his admirable qualities, and I get a kick out of it, no matter how delusional it might be (especially when the topic is curling). But a roller-blading car hop asking, "Would you like fries with your order of COVID-19?" wouldn't be my idea of a good time. I'd be surprised if the majority in northern Wild Rose Country share Jonesy's enthusiasm for a COVID Carnival.
Similarly, why would any among the rabble in Good Ol' Hometown want to welcome nine Canadian Football League outfits for a Coles Notes version of a no-fans, three-downs season? What, mosquitoes the size of St. Bernards and potholes the size of the Bermuda Triangle aren't enough to deal with without adding an invasion of Yankee Doodle Dandies into the mix? If anyone can tell me what's to be gained by trucking hundreds of Americans across the uncrossable border into Winnipeg, I'm prepared to listen.
Winnipeg Blue Bombers voice Knuckles Irving is fully onside with the large lads in pads assembling in River City to grab grass and growl at Football Follies Field In Fort Garry. "We've been saying for weeks on the CJOB sports show that Wpg is the obvious choice as a CFL hub city, IF it comes to that," he tweeted. "And it might come to that, but it hasn't yet. NOTHING has been finalized. When it is and the CFL decides 'hubbing it" is the way to go, hello Winnipeg!!"
I mentioned this a week ago, but it bears repeating now that the feds have allowed the Blue Jays to nestle in The ROT: Perhaps they'll explain why the Winnipeg Goldeyes are forced to call Fargo, N.D., home this summer. Oh, that's right, Trudeau the Younger and cronies don't want non-essential workers crossing the uncrossable border. Apparently Charlie Montoyo is essential but Rick Forney isn't.
James Dolan
The Washington Redskins will likely change their team name (money talks). The Cleveland Indians will think about changing their team name. The Seattle NHL expansion franchise remains a Team To Be Named Later. Meanwhile, New York Knicks fans are hoping James Dolan changes his name to the Billionaire Formerly Known As Owner.
I note that Vlad (The Bad) Putin has signed a one-way deal to rule Russia until at least 2036, about the same time Tom Brady is expected to show signs of slowing down.
Speaking of lifetime contracts, the New York Mets continue to pay Bobby Bonilla to not play baseball. The Amazin's top up Bonilla's bank account by a whopping $1,193,248.20 each July 1 and will do so until 2035, even though he last wore their double-knits in 1999. If nothing else, the Bonilla deal gives new meaning to Casey Stengel's lament about his 1962 Mets: "Can't anybody here play this game?" Bonilla doesn't have to.
Imagine getting paid all that money to do absolutely squat. You know, like the Kardashians.
So David Price of the Los Angeles Dodgers has decided to skip the 2020 MLB season. That's different. He doesn't normally disappear until the playoffs.
What's this? The Drab Slab plans to eliminate reader comments on July 14? Shame that. There've been days when the readers' thread was more interesting and entertaining than the articles.
Evander Kane
It's fair to wonder what fantasy world Evander Kane exists in. I mean, the co-creator of the Hockey Diversity Alliance did the Zoom thing recently and claimed that the misdeeds of white athletes, such as Brendan Leipsic, are nothing more than "a footnote" on sports pages and TV.
"This guy does what he does, has a group message where he's saying some not so good comments, to put it lightly," Kane began. "I go on TSN and I'm trying to look for the article. I'm thinking, 'Big story, career over, it'll be at the top of the page' because every time something happened to me or another Black player, top of the page, blowing up, front-line news. They want to make sure everybody can see it.
"I've got to scroll all the way down and there's a little blurb. It's not 'Brendan Leipsic makes horrific comments about player's girlfriend' or 'Makes misogynist comment or fat shames,' it's 'Brendan Leipsic apologizes for comments.' How generic and undetailed is that for a headline?'
Brendan Leipsic
"From my own personal experience, they want to make it as detailed as possible. They want to overstate it, blow it up. They want to portray you in such a negative light that it gathers so much attention. When it comes to white players, it's a footnote."
What a load of complete crap.
Leipsic's conversation about women was front-page news, not a footnote, in the Winnipeg Free Press, the Winnipeg Sun, the Washington Post, the Globe and Mail, the National Post and numerous other dailies and websites. Headlines included descriptives like "Misogynistic and reprehensible," and "vulgar" and "offensive." He's been drummed out of the NHL. And he's a white guy.
Drew Brees is also a white guy. He took a royal beating for a regrettable (stupid) comment about not respecting athletes who kneel during the American national anthem.
Johnny Manziel is a white guy. He's been battered fore and aft for a string of ugly trespasses.
John Rocker
Josh Hader, Kevin Pillar, Ryan Getzlaf, John Rocker, Curt Schilling, Andrew Shaw, Brock Lesnar, Tyson Fury are among numerous white guys who've been called out in print and on air for homophobic/racist/sexist natter.
Just like Kane himself.
You might recall a tweet the then-Winnipeg Jets forward posted during an NBA playoff game in 2013: Chris Bosh of the Miami Heat "looked like a fairy going to the rim." When challenged on the homophobic tone of the tweet, he stood firm, responding, "Man, there's a lot of overly sensitive people on here. It's unreal how some of you on here turn absolutely nothing into something so wrong. As I have said before and I'll say it again if you can't handle real talk unfollow."
Ya, that's the guy I want heading up a Diversity Alliance.
And, finally, my favorite tweet last week was delivered by old friend/broadcaster Peter Young: "In early 70s while teaching grade 9 Phys Ed one class was devoted to mild version on Sex Ed. One 14 year old female on fill in the blank question. 'Most sexual diseases are transmitted in the area of the REGINA.'" So I guess former Blue Bombers head coach Mike Kelly was right when he called the Saskatchewan capital the "crotch of Canada."
Author pattidawnswanssonPosted on July 5, 2020 July 5, 2020 Categories SportsTags Bobby Bonilla, Brendan Leipsic, Brett Hull, Canada-U.S. border, Canadian Football League, Casey Stengel, Charlie Montoyo, Chris Bosh, CJOB, Cleveland Indians, coronavirus, COVID-19, David Price, Donald Trump, Drew Brees, Edmonton, Edmonton Oilers, Evander Kane, Florida, Fonzie, Globe and Mail, Happy Days, Hockey Diversity Alliance, homophobia, James Dolan, Jason Kenney, Johnny Manziel, Justin Trudeau, Knuckles Irving, Los Angeles Dodgers, Major League Baseball, Miami Heat, Mike Kelly, misogyny, National Hockey League, National Post, New York Mets, Olympic Games, peter Young, Postmedia, Potsie, racism, Ralph Malph, Regina, Richard Nixon, Richie Cunningham, Rick Forney, Saskatchewan, Sermon on the Mount, Shangri-La, St. Louis Blues, Terry Jones, The Fonz, the Kardashians, Toronto, Toronto Blue Jays, United States, Vladimir Putin, Washington Post, Washington Redskins, White House, Winnipeg Blue Bombers, Winnipeg Free Press, Winnipeg Goldeyes, Winnipeg Jets, Winnipeg Sun, Ziploc, ZoomLeave a comment on Let's talk about crossing the uncrossable border…Zip-Lock shinny…a COVID Carnival with car hops and the Fonz in E-Town…Winnipeg the grid Hub Bubble…what's in a name?…Vlad the Bad's lifetime contract…Citizen Kane's fantasy world…and other things on my mind
Let's talk about a Grey Cup game on the frozen tundra…Tin Foil Man…comedy acts in Edmonton…Puck Finn's chin whiskers…Akim Aliu's message…faux fans in footy…the Six and the NWHL…an end game for Ponytail Puck…Naomi Osaka's bankroll…and so long Eddie Haskell
A Grey Cup game in December. In Canada. Maybe in Winnipeg. Perhaps in Edmonton. Possibly in Regina.
That's the latest bit of zaniness to drift out of the Canadian Football League bunker in the Republic of Tranna, and it appears that Commish Randy Ambrosie and his three-downs overlords are actually serious about possibly taking the Rouge Football showcase event to one of their frost-bitten burgs.
The way they have it figured, once there are only two teams still standing, the outfit with the superior record from a sawed-off season (eight, maybe nine, maybe 10 games) gets home field for the Grey Cup showdown, and that could mean the wind-ravaged, very frozen tundra of the Prairies.
Ya, that makes sense. You know, like building igloos in Arizona makes sense.
Hey, don't get me wrong. I enjoy all those campfire tales about all those wacky-weather Grey Cup games of yore—the Mud Bowl and the Fog Bowl and the Wind Bowl and the Ice Bowl and the Snow Bowl.
But do we really need a Hypothermia Bowl?
Think of the poor sap who'd be first to kiss the Grey Grail. It'll take the jaws of life to pry the guy's lips from the metal mug. No amount of Botox would make him right again.
Maybe that's why Commish Randy and pals have gone hat in hand to the feds for $150 million. They'll need the loot for lawyers when surviving players file a class-action lawsuit seeking compensation for cruel and unusual punishment.
Look, we all know the mercury on The Baldies is apt to dip low enough to freeze the brass monkeys off Commish Randy once we arrive at December. So if—and that's an if as large as an O-lineman's appetite—there's a 2020 CFL season that concludes during the Christmas shopping crunch, they're setting themselves up for the ultimate football folly.
B.C. Place Stadium
Let's face it, there's only one logical locale for any Grey Cup skirmish in the last month of the year—the comfy, climate-controlled confines of BC. Place Stadium in Vancouver, even if Rouge Football isn't much more than a rumor on the Left Flank.
What matters is that there'll be a roof to keep the large lads in pads dry and warm as they argue their case for three-downs bragging rights.
So Commish Randy and the overlords might want to rethink that host city thing before they find themselves gathered in a frost-bitten burg, wondering why they rolled the dice on a minus-30C day when post-game lattés on an outdoor patio was available.
If (there's that word again) there's a Grey Cup game in December, it won't be a first. There have been four since the CFL was formed in 1958, the last on Dec. 3, 1972, and each of those skirmishes took place in Southern Ontario, which has never been mistaken for the Canadian Prairies.
The CFL isn't planning a "shortened" season or an "abbreviated" season or a Coles Notes version of a season. It'll be a "truncated" season, don't you know. Oh, yes, news snoops have fallen in love with the word "truncated," the way Jesus favored the word "blessed" and Brian Burke loves to talk about "truculence." They can't file a dispatch without informing us that any 2020 CFL crusade will be "truncated," and I imagine copy from the Grey Cup game will go something like this: "The truncated season came to a close on the Flattest of Lands today with much truculence and more than 30,000 blessed empty seats. Only seven players were forced from the game due to hypothermia, with another six treated for severe frost bite. MVP quarterback Zach Collaros began the day with 10 fingers, but finished with eight. Lawsuits pending."
This has nada to do with sports, but I thought I'd share it nevertheless. While walking home from a pub yesterday (for the first time in more than two months), I saw a man with tin foil on his head. True story. I did a triple take to confirm I was seeing what I thought I was seeing. Yup. Tin foil. On his head. He was loitering on the sidewalk, but I'm not sure if he was waiting for a bus or the Mother Ship. Either way, I wasn't keen on approaching Tin Foil Man to inquire.
Things that make me go hmmm Vol. 1: A comedy club in Edmonton has been forced to shut down because belly laughs are a risky bit of business during the COVID-19 pandemic. Here's how Alberta's top doc, Dr. Deena Hinshaw, explained it: "If it's a comedy club or some kind of performance where you're going to have an entire room of people laughing or cheering at the same time, there is some increased risk to those activities." Hmmm. "Some kind of performance" that has a room full of people yukking it up. Apparently the good doctor has seen Milan Lucic play.
Things that make me go hmmm Vol. 2: Sticking with the Wild Rose Country/comedy theme, Jason Kenney has decided that Winnipeg is neither a major city nor a National Hockey League locale. "Edmonton has the lowest level of COVID-19 infections of any major city in North America, certainly lower than any other NHL city," the Alberta premier stated in making his pitch for E-Town as a hub burg once the NHL hits the reboot button. Well, okay, let's do the math. Active cases as of Friday: Edmonton 58, Winnipeg 3. Hmmm. E-Town hasn't outscored Good Ol' Hometown that badly since the Oilers-Jets playoff series of the 1980s.
Puck Finn's bad beard.
Speaking of the Jets, Patrik Laine did the Zoom thing with news snoops the other day, and among his many sound bites was a vow to never again grow his terrible beard. ("Once was enough.") Puck Finn also suggested that his game will be "terrible" whenever the NHL is back in go mode, because he's been away from the freeze for two months. I don't know about you, but I'm more interested in Puck Finn's one-timer than his scruffy chin whiskers.
Seriously, are Puck Finn's chin whiskers, his Lamborghini, his golf game, and his video games newsworthy? I suppose they are during a pandemic, and it makes you wonder why more NHL players don't spice up their sound bites with a sprinkling of personality.
Akim Aliu
There's very little fresh messaging provided by Akim Aliu in the essay he has written for The Players' Tribune. He tells us that hockey "isn't" for everyone, a mantra some of us have been chanting for quite some time, so I'm guessing many among the rabble wish he would just shut his squawk box and disappear like summer wages. Except that isn't how this works. As long as racism, sexism, homophobia, misogyny, bigotry, hazing, etc. exist in hockey, people like Aliu need to speak their truth, and it doesn't matter that he was a fringe NHL player. Ugly is ugly, and hockey's underbelly is ugly. Or did you miss the charming comments a group of young players made about women a couple of weeks ago? Again, there's nothing new in Aliu's message, but that doesn't make it any less important. I just wonder how many people are paying attention.
A Bundesliga soccer match between Borussia Moenchengladbach and Bayer Leverkusen on Saturday featured 13,000 life-size, cardboard cutouts (of actual people) in the stands. The bad news: Cardboard fans are hell on beer sales. The good news: No long lineups to the washrooms.
Footy side FC Seoul has apologized for using female sex dolls as faux fans during a recent match. I agree. Putting dummies in the seats at sports events is a really bad idea. But enough about Drake.
Now that I've mentioned Drake, it's worth noting that the National Women's Hockey League expansion franchise in the Republic of Tranna is called the Six, a term coined by hip hop guys Jimmy Prime and Oliver North (El-Khatib) and popularized by Drizzy upon the release of his album Views From the 6. The question is: Will anyone in The ROT view the Six when Ponytail Puck returns?
Anyone who follows women's hockey knows the game is a mess, with the NWHL and the Dream Gappers (Professional Women's Hockey Players Association) offering very different road maps toward a sustainable operation that pays the workers a "living wage," whatever that might be.
Commish Dani Rylan is convinced her NWHL can achieve that end without the NHL serving as a sugar daddy, whereas it's NHL or bust for the Dream Gappers. Or is it?
Jayna Hefford
Consider this snippet from a natter between PWHPA head Jayna Hefford and the Ice Garden website on May 20…
Ice Garden: "Obviously the NHL is the endgame here but is that the only endgame you see or do you also see possibly a league with private investors, like large-scale private investors getting involved?"
Hefford: "We would never say it has to be the one and only way but there's a number of things that we've communicated publicly that should be involved in a league."
But wait. Now consider what Hefford told news snoops on April 23…
"We believe there needs to be an affiliation with the NHL. We're adamant that there needs to be a connection there. We believe it's the only way the women's game will survive and grow."
So either Hefford doesn't know her own end game or, more likely, her pants are on fire.
Well, allow me to provide, once again, the Coles Notes version of the PWHPA agenda: The NWHL drowns in a sea of red ink; the NHL adopts the self-orphaned Dream Gappers and Ponytail Puck lives happily ever after.
Muppet heads Fozzy Bear and Colby Armstrong.
The squawk boxes at Sportsnet continue to suck up to PWHPA membership/allies with ass-kissing commentary, the most recent example delivered by muppet head Colby Armstrong on Hockey Central at Home during a blah-blah-blah session with Canadian national team member Natalie Spooner.
"Thanks for joining us," Colby began. "Great seeing you as always and…we see you a lot, like we really get to see you a lot, and especially through this we get to see you out there a lot advocating for women's hockey. I have three little girls and you know they love you. They're big fans. What's it like being a role model?
"I've been able to watch you and see you deal with a lot of people and fans and little girls, and I think you have a great personality for it, so I think it's worked out.
"You're a very social person, like, fun to be around, high energy, probably the, you know, the person in the room or in the gym that keeps it bumping. You love singing, you love dancing…people follow Natalie Spooner on her, what do you have Instagram? I don't have it. I tell my wife, we watch your stuff all the time. You found a way to entertain. Ya, very entertaining."
I swear, after chewing on all that sugar, I hope Spooner booked a dental appointment.
Naomi Osaka and Serena Williams.
Here's a female athlete who doesn't require faux hosannas or a sugar daddy—Naomi Osaka. According to Forbes, the Japanese-born, American-raised, two-time Grand Slam tennis champion earned more coin ($37.4 million) in a 12-month time frame than any woman in history. Yup, Naomi is in front of Serena Williams ($36 million) at the pay window, and you can probably bet the farm that they'll be the only two women among the biggest money-makers in sports when Forbes releases its annual Top 100 list this week. Naomi slides in at No. 29 and Serena is at No. 33. If there are any other women in the group, my guess is you'll find them on a tennis court.
Eddie Haskell
And, finally, Eddie Haskell is dead. Long live Eddie Haskell (in reruns). For all you youngsters in the audience, be advised that Eddie Haskell, played by Ken Osmond, was one of the regular characters on the 1950s-60s feel-good sitcom Leave It To Beaver, and he was a smart-ass kid. Here's how Paul Farhi of the Washington Post describes him: "Eddie Haskell was a sneaky little rat, a two-faced suck-up and a tinpot bully. A punk who stirred up trouble." That's spot on, although I might have added the word "smarmy," because Eddie was the kid your parents didn't want you hanging with at home or on the street. Ironically, bad boy Eddie grew up to be policeman Ken in real life.
Author pattidawnswanssonPosted on May 24, 2020 May 24, 2020 Categories SportsTags Akim Aliu, Alberta, B.C. Place Stadium, Bayer Leverkusen, bigotry, Borussia Moenchengladbach, Bundesliga, Canadian Football League, Colby Armstrong, COVID-19, Dani Rylan, Dr. Deena Hinshaw, Drake, Dream Gap Tour, Eddie Haskell, Edmonton, Edmonton Oilers, FC Seoul, Fog Bowl, Forbes, Grey Cup, hazing, homophobia, Ice Bowl, Jayna Hefford, Ken Osmond, Leave It To Beaver, Milan Lucic, Mud Bow, mysogyny, Naomi Osaka, Natalie Spooner, National Hockey League, National Women's Hockey League, Patrik Laine, Paul Farhi, Prairies, Premier Jason Kenney, Professional Women's Hockey Players Association, racism, Randy Ambrosie, Regina, Serena Williams, sexism, Snow Bowl, soccer, Sportsnet, The Ice Garden, The Players' Tribune, The Six, Washington Post, Wild Rose Country, Wind Bowl, Winnipeg, Winnipeg Jets, Zach Collaros, ZoomLeave a comment on Let's talk about a Grey Cup game on the frozen tundra…Tin Foil Man…comedy acts in Edmonton…Puck Finn's chin whiskers…Akim Aliu's message…faux fans in footy…the Six and the NWHL…an end game for Ponytail Puck…Naomi Osaka's bankroll…and so long Eddie Haskell
Let's talk about the NFL Hole of Fame Game…a fist-fighting farce…a snake-oil salesman…welcome to Alberta…Tebow of the North…QBs by the numbers…and Coach Grunge hits the century mark
Another Sunday smorgas-bored…and now they know how many holes it takes to fix an NFL field…
Did it really happen? Were the Green Bay Packers and Oakland Raiders really in Good Ol' Hometown for a National Football League dress rehearsal last Thursday?
Well, yes, they were.
Aaron Rodgers: Good day, eh.
We know this for certain because there were sightings and photographic evidence to confirm the existence and presence of Aaron Rodgers, who apparently was separated from Borat at birth and looked positively hoser-ish in his Canadian Tuxedo.
Coo-roo-coo-coo-coo-coo-coo-coo! Good day, eh.
Mind you, I thought Rodgers was a bit too much of a denim dude. The jeans and jacket were fine, and the bolo tie was a boffo accessory, but he should have gone with a lumberjack shirt to complete the ensemble. Take it from a fashionista, overdoing denim is never a good look. On the red carpet or strolling through Osborne Village.
Anyway, a garment glitch aside, Rodgers was meant to be the star attraction in an exhibition of faux football between two storied four-down franchises at Football Follies Field in Fort Garry, but I'm sure you know by now that the Pro Bowl quarterback was one of 33 Packers no-shows. That's right, 33 scratches. Sounds like a bad case of hemorrhoids.
Perhaps that's fitting, though, since River City has become the butt of jokes.
To wit: How could the NFL tell it was in Winnipeg? They found potholes.
In re-configuring a Canadian Football League playground (110 yards with 20-yard end zones) to meet NFL dimensions (100 yards with 10-yard end zones), removal of CFL goal posts was required and, apparently, no one with the NFL thought to toss a few shovelfuls of good, rich prairie dirt into the holes left behind. Instead, they plopped something that looked like a swath of Austin Powers' discarded shag carpeting on top and expected the boys to "Play on!" The Packers would have none of that. "No way, baby," they squawked. Thus the pothole patches were ruled hazardous to the wellness of millionaire footballers and shrinkage ensued. Rather than frolic on their regulation-size grid, the large lads had to make do on an 80-yard pitch with makeshift end zones.
I'm not sure if the shrinkage was a salute to our metric system or the U.S.-Canada currency exchange rate, but it made for the kind of farce you'd find on Fawlty Towers.
Difference is, Fawlty Towers is funny, this wasn't.
But, hey, it will forever be known as the NFL Hole of Fame game, and I suppose that's something to shout about. Or not.
Watching the events unfold on TSN, it reminded me of another time and another place and another show fraught with farce. It was the night of Dec. 11, 1981, and Muhammad Ali was to meet Trevor Berbick in the main event of a calamitous fight card on a parched patch of earth in Nassau, The Bahamas. Before the first punch was thrown, someone discovered there was no official timer, no ringside bell to signal the start and end of each round, and only two pairs of boxing mitts. For the entire card. Promoters dispatched a man to Miami with instructions to return with fresh gloves for the Ali-Berbick bout, a stopwatch was located, and a TV crew loaned organizers a cow bell. In-ring hostilities began more than two hours late and, eventually, Berbick earned a unanimous decision for thoroughly boxing Ali's ears over 10 rounds. Ali never fought again and, even though the card commenced on Dec. 11, none of us filed our final copy until Dec. 12. One wise acre on press row awarded the event the No Bell Prize for boxing. We laughed and agreed.
John Graham holding court.
The villain in the Gaffe-O-Rama that was the NFL experience in River City appears to be John Graham, mouthpiece for On Ice Entertainment. He didn't have a clue about his market, hence the $75-$340 (plus taxes/fees) sticker prices and the insulting PR prattle that implied Pegtowners are backwater bumpkins who don't know moonshine from a Slurpee. "It's a premier event," Graham gushed the day before they discovered the potholes. "In musical terms, it's like the Rolling Stones or U2 type of thing." Ya, for sure, John. Take away Mick, Keith, Bono and The Edge and it was just like that.
They tell us that 21,992 bought the snake oil that Graham was selling, but I believe that like I believe the cow really did jump over the moon. Based on what I saw on TSN, Football Follies Field was a glass half empty. Naturally, Graham pointed an accusing finger at news snoops, because that's what some PR flacks tend to do when their face hits the floor. He whinged to Paul Friesen of the Winnipeg Sun about "very biased articles" and "things that aren't accurate," then attempted to have Freezer banned from the press perch. What a tool.
My favorite headline on the NFL Hole of Fame Game was delivered by the Washington Post: "Canadians are very politely not buying tickets to the Packers-Raiders game in Winnipeg."
A.J. Cole
Much was made of Raiders punter A.J. Cole wearing a t-shirt with the words "Winnipeg, Alberta" pasted across the front. Alberta only wishes it was so.
Cole was thoughtful enough to offer a mea culpa for his geographical goof-up, so I say we cut the guy some slack. Come to think of it, Cole has a degree in Industrial Engineering from North Carolina State. What, no one thought to ask him to come up with a better solution to the goal post/pothole problem than an 80-yard football field?
By the way, those "Winnipeg, Alberta" t-shirts and hoodies are available from TeeChip on the Internet. They come in sizes S-XXXXXXL and nine colors. I'm not saying I endorse them, but they might make a good gag gift for family and friends unfortunate enough to live in Wild Rose Country.
When the Packers-Raiders skirmish was announced, Winnipeg Blue Bombers CEO Wade Miller described it as a "once in a lifetime experience." After Thursday, I'd say that sounds about right.
Chris Streveler
Moving on to football with a rouge, if you've ever wondered what Tim Tebow might have looked like in the CFL, Chris Streveler provided a hint on Friday night in E-Town.
Pretty he ain't, not at all like Trevor Harris, his counterpart with the Eskimos who usually looks like the 'after' part of a Tide commercial. You know, all spiffy, fresh and clean. Streveler, on the other hand, is kind of like Mike O'Shea, his head coach with the Winnipeg Blue Bombers. Grungy. With a game to match his scruffy chin whiskers.
Going by the QB numbers on Friday, Streveler had no business beating the Eskimos 34-28 in a West Division top-dog throw-down at Commonwealth Stadium. Harris flung the football for 430 yards and a touchdown, Streveler 89 on just seven completions and zero scores. But they don't give the guy operating a wrecking ball marks for artistic impression, and that's the way it is with some quarterbacks.
Guys like Harris are a candy store. Streveler is a hardware store, full of nuts and bolts and wrenches and all manner of heavy-metal gadgets. He's Tebow of the North. Tebow with a toque. It's all about the legs and smash-mouth with the neophyte QB, subbing for wounded starter Matt Nichols.
Streveler crash-banged his way to one Tebowesque TD and set up another with a 30-yard Tebowesque boogie, and small DBs and safeties across the CFL landscape better get used to the idea of being the bug rather than the windshield for the next month-plus while Nichols is in the repair shop.
You know what the narrative would be today had it been Nichols tossing the rock for just 89 yards, don't you? That's right, even in victory, the rabble would be breaking out the pitch forks and putting a match to torches.
Trevor Harris
That old bromide "statistics are for losers" certainly applies to the quarterbacks in the two Winnipeg-E-Town skirmishes this season. Here are the numbers:
Trevor Harris 61/94 775 yds.
Nichols/Streveler 20/38 289 yds.
Sean Whyte of the Eskimos hoofed 14 field goals v. Winnipeg FC, so why would I still rather have Justin Medlock doing my three-point kicking in a big game?
A quick thought on Willie Jefferson, the holy terror who most often lines up at defensive end for the Bombers: Exactly what part of Jefferson did the Saskatchewan Roughriders not like? Seriously. Gang Green let this guy get away? I'm pretty sure when Trevor Harris brushed his hair after Friday's game, Jefferson fell out.
I don't know about you, but I'm thinking Glen Suitor would be a much better broadcaster if he actually knew what was in the CFL rule book. Just saying.
Speaking of Suitor and the squawk boxes on TSN, here are a couple of juicy snippets from Kirk Penton's latest offering of sound bites from CFL GMs, coaches and suits in The Athletic:
* "They were down 10-0 in the first quarter, and Suitor said the Lions are improved. I've gained 20 pounds since training camp. Too many desserts and too many late-night chips. But if Suitor says the Lions are improved, guess I can tell my wife that the fatter me is improved too."
* "We (coaches) respect Matt Nichols more than you media guys do. When the Bombers lose the next three without him, you'll see why coaches are smarter than newspaper guys and talking heads."
Mike O'Shea
And, finally, never thought I would mention Mike O'Shea, Bud Grant and Cal Murphy in the same sentence, but Coach Grunge has joined the Bombers coaching legends in a very exclusive club—the only Winnipeg FC sideline stewards to work 100 regular-season games. O'Shea hit the century mark on Friday night in the E-Town rain, and I thought someone would have made a big deal out of the milestone. Trouble is, a lot of folks still aren't sold on Coach Grunge, and they won't be until he brings the Grey Cup back to Good Ol' Hometown, like Bud (four times) and Cal (once) did. Still, 100 games is a noteworthy achievement, and there's a boatload of us who didn't think O'Shea would last this long.
Author pattidawnswanssonPosted on August 25, 2019 August 26, 2019 Categories SportsTags A.J. Cole, Aaron Rodgers, Austin Powers, Borat, Bud Grant, Cal Murphy, Canadian Football League, Canadian Tuxedo, Chris Streveler, Edmonton Eskimos, Fawlty Towers, Glen Suitor, Green Bay Packers, Grey Cup, John Graham, Justin Medlock, Kirk Penton, Matt Nichols, Mike O'Shea, Muhammad Ali, Nassau, National Football League, North Carolina State, Oakland Raiders, On Ice Entertainment, Osborne Village, Paul Friesen, Rolling Stones, Saskatchewan Roughriders, Sean Whyte, shag carpet, TeeChip, The Athletic, The Bahamas, Tide, Tim Tebow, Trevor Berbick, Trevor Harris, TSN, U2, Wade Miller, Washington Post, Willie Jefferson, Winnipeg Blue Bombers, Winnipeg Sun1 Comment on Let's talk about the NFL Hole of Fame Game…a fist-fighting farce…a snake-oil salesman…welcome to Alberta…Tebow of the North…QBs by the numbers…and Coach Grunge hits the century mark
About the Lords of Rinks and Drinks…Paul Gowsell curling under the influence of pizza…teetotaler Jeff Stoughton…Puck Finn and PlayStation…Dave Hodge shows his baby blues…so long Satch Maloney…the CFLPA d'oh boys…Dave Dickenson the Mea Culpa Man…and other things on my mind
Another Sunday smorgas-bored from someone who's never been too drunk to curl…
I cannot recall my curling baptism with any deep level of clarity.
I do, however, have foggy recollections of E.D. Smith jam pails filled with poured concrete awkwardly skimming along a bumpy sheet of ice in the far corner of the St. Alphonsus schoolyard, where we had been instructed to assemble for our first misadventures of the hurry-hard culture.
None of us were too drunk to curl that day. The Sisters of St. Joseph saw to that.
There was a lengthy list of things those strap-wielding nun/teachers frowned upon during my formative years, and Grades 1 and 2 sprigs getting blotto-faced before sliding from a makeshift hack on a makeshift curling rink surely was high on their registry of restrictions. Boozing it up wasn't something a good Catholic kid did. At least not until Grade 8.
So, yes, all of us urchins were as sober as nuns that day as we bundled up and stepped outside into the Arctic-like embrace of an unyielding Winnipeg winter.
And let the record show this: It was the only day I ever curled without beer being involved.
Thus it was with wry amusement that I've read the reaction(s) to the booze-fueled shenanigans of our curlers last weekend in Red Deer, the Alberta burg caught between a rock (Calgary) and a hard place (Edmonton).
Ryan (Small) Fry
If you came in late, the World Curling Tour's Red Deer Classic was chugging along smoothly when Jamie Koe, Ryan (Small) Fry, Chris Schille and DJ Kidby took a notion to occupy the down time between games by giving their elbows a strenuous bending. Thirty-to-40 bottles of wobbly pop and numerous shooters later, they were good and properly pie-eyed, with not a nun on cite to monitor their behaviour with a piercing frown or a firm rapping of the knuckles with a wooden yardstick. So they went out and curled. At least three of them did.
Koe, recognizing that something was missing (his legs), took a powder. Apparently more brown pops required his attention. Fry, Schille and Kidby gave it a go on the pebble sans their too-drunk-to-curl skip, but what ensued was "a gong show" according to the venue manager, Wade Thurber. There was broom-breaking (Fry shattered three). There was foul language (imagine that, a curler cussin'). Later, a changing room wall lost an argument to either a foot or a fist.
Barney, Homer and Moe talk curling.
These were no piddling hogline violations. The lads were punted from the event. Yup, kicked out, like Homer and his pal Barney Gumble after they've had one too many Duff at Moe's.
In the ensuing days, headline writers and opinionists across the globe have had their way with our "drunken curlers." Dispatches of the "drunken debacle" have stretched from Red Deer to the U.K., to Asia, to Down Under. CNN, the Los Angeles Times, Sports Illustrated, the BBC, SkySports, The Independent, Business Insider, the New Zealand Herald, Eurosport, Deadspin, the Sydney Morning Herald, HuffPost UK, the Washington Post, the Korea Herald, Breitbart and The Guardian have all weighed in, basically advancing the same theme: Canadians are a bunch of party people who drunkenly slide around on ice nine months of the year.
Well, we know that to be untrue. We're drunk 12 months of the year and the ice melts after seven months.
Scott Moir with Bob and Doug McKenzie: Beer, eh.
But here's what has really surprised me in the fallout of the curling kerfuffle: Seemingly the link between Canadian sports and beer swilling is something the rest of the world has just now discovered. What, they weren't paying attention to the Olympics last winter when our fancy skater Scott Moir was tossing back pints faster than Boris Yeltsin? Cripes, man, Grey Cup week is affectionately known as the Grand National Drunk. The Brier even has its own pub. At one point in history, the prize for winning the Canadian men's curling championship was a beer stein the size of a backyard hot tub.
It wasn't until a kid drowned in the thing that they got rid of it.
So you'll have to excuse me if I refuse to get my knickers in a twist over a few of the boys going all hoser a la Bob and Doug McKenzie.
Besides, there's good news in all this: The rest of the world has been so focused on our "drunken curlers" that they've forgotten we're also responsible for Nickelback, the Biebs and Howie Mandel's lame jokes and germaphobia.
Paul Gowsell
It's not like Koe and Co. are the first curlers to feel their oats (and barley). I mean, some of us haven't forgotten Paul Gowsell, long-haired rebel of the Pebble People. Never mind that the former world junior champion had a pizza delivered in the middle of a game during a bonspiel in Regina ("We were hungry."), he once was flagged down by the gendarmes for drunk driving, possession of pot and illegal possession of liquor—while wheeling his way home from a banquet honoring him as Calgary's athlete-of-the-year. Gowsell copped a guilty plea on the drunk driving and marijuana raps, and was fined $150 for each. He was not, however, charged for curling while under the influence of pepperoni, salami and extra cheese in Regina.
If nothing else, the Red Deer episode of the Lords of Rinks and Drinks has provided others cause to double down on their dumb stereotyping of the roaring game. My favorite comment was delivered by a Los Angeles Times reader who wrote: "Curling will never catch on as a popular sport in America because it all looks too much like tedious janitorial work that requires basic householding skills." Why do you think curlers drink, dude?
Jeff Stoughton with the Tankard Trophy.
For the record, I knew just one curler who never allowed booze to pass his lips—legendary Manitoba skip Jeff Stoughton. There might have been other teetotalers among the Pebble People that I wrote about, but perhaps I spent too much time in the Brier Patch to notice. (Just kidding. I never once set foot in the Patch—I did my elbow bending in regular pubs. But only after filing my copy. Honest. I wrote sober. Or did I write drunk and edit sober, as Hemmingway suggested we do? Can't remember. Must have killed too much grey matter.)
Okay, let's move on to other stuff, like Patrik Laine. I turned on my flatscreen to watch a hockey game on Saturday and PlayStation broke out. Seriously, what Puck Finn did to the Blues in St. Loo—five shots, five goals in an 8-4 Winnipeg Jets win—was pure video game stuff. And, to think, a week ago this morning 41 National Hockey League players had more goals than the Finnish winger. Today there are zero. Usually when a guy climbs that high, that fast, he needs a Sherpa guide and oxygen. I don't think Puck Finn had to hit the shower by the time he was done. Yes, he made it look that easy.
Puck Finn will be due a pay raise at the end of this crusade. Can you say "Ka-ching!" kids?
Ron MacLean and Dave Hodge
I have one thing to say about Dave Hodge returning to Hockey Night in Canada (in a baby blue blazer, no less)—flipping brilliant. And if you're of a certain vintage, you'll know what I mean when I say "flipping."
Sad to hear about the death of Dan Maloney, former coach of the Winnipeg Jets. Like all Jets bench jockeys, Satch wasn't there for a long time (1986-89), but there were good times, most notably a playoff series victory over the Calgary Flames. Satch was a good, sincere, soft-spoken man. I always enjoyed dealing with him while wandering the continent with Winnipeg HC.
I can't say for certain, but I doubt there's ever been a tougher head coach-GM tag team in NHL history than Satch and John Bowie Ferguson. If their teams couldn't beat 'em on the ice, Satch and Fergy sure as hell could whup the other team's management in any UFC octagon.
Going into tonight's game between the Edmonton McDavids and the Kings in Tinseltown, Milan Lucic has scored one goal more than me. And I'll make $5,981,000 less than the Looch this year.
What's up with Canadian Football League Players Association members? You'd think the large lads in pads would know better than news snoops on the beat when it comes to quality performance. But no. They're "D'oh!" boys. Evidence of this is found in the CFLPA collection of all-stars that does not include the league's most outstanding player, Bo Levi Mitchell, the league's most outstanding defensive player, Beastmo Bighill, the league's most outstanding O-lineman, Stanley Bryant, and the league's leading ground gainer, Andrew Harris. Oh, and let's not forget they anointed June Jones of the Hamilton Tiger-Cats the top sideline steward. That despite the fact six of nine head coaches compiled superior records. All of which can mean just one thing: Curlers aren't the only athletes who drink too much.
The Mea Culpa Man
I can't decide if Dave Dickenson is a football coach or a conspiracy theorist, but I do know the Calgary Stampeders head knock has established a Grey Cup record for apologies.
Double D doubled down on mea culpas during Grey Cup week in Edmonton, first apologizing for his gutteral description of Mike O'Shea and the Winnipeg Blue Bombers' homebrew braintrust as an effing Canadian Mafia, then for his 'oh, woe are we' suggestion that the entire nation will be root, root, rooting against his tribe in today's CFL championship skirmish.
"Sometimes you just talk to much," the Mea Culpa Man mused. "Maybe I fabricated my own little storyline. Maybe I should have kept those comments to myself."
No, no, no. A thousand times no, Dave. Keep yapping like an annoying little lap dog. And the dumber the better.
Apparently Bytown RedBlacks O-lineman Jon Gott has a chip on his shoulder any time he plays against the Stampeders, his former outfit. And here I thought that thing on his shoulder was a can of beer.
I'm liking the RedBlacks to haul the Grey Cup back to the nation's capital with a three-point victory over the Stamps this afternoon/evening in E-Town. Final score: 28-25. Game MVP: Trevor Harris.
And, finally, just wondering: Did anyone actually watch the Tiger Woods-Lefty Mickelson con job?
Author pattidawnswanssonPosted on November 25, 2018 November 25, 2018 Categories SportsTags Adam Bighill, Andrew Harris, Barney Gumble, BBC, Bo Levi Mitchell, Bob McKenzie, Boris Yeltsin, Breitbart, Business Insider, Calgary Flames, Calgary Stampeders, Canadian Football League, Canadian Football League Players Association, Chris Schille, CNN, Curling, Dan Maloney, Dave Dickenson, Dave Hodge, Deadspin, DJ Kidby, Doug McKenzie, Edmonton Oilers, Eurosport, Grand National Drunk, Grey Cup, Hamilton Tiger-Cats, Hemmingway, Hockey Night in Canada, Homer Simpson, Howie Mandel, HuffPost UK, Jamie Koe, Jeff Stoughton, Jon Gott, June Jones, Justin Bieber, Korea Herald, Los Angeles Times, Mike O'Shea, Milan Lucic, Moe's, National Hockey League, New Zealand Herald, Nickelback, Ottawa RedBlacks, Patrik Laine, Paul Gowsell, Phil Mickelson, Red Deer Curling Classic, Regina, Ron MacLean, Ryan Fry, Scott Moir, SkySports, Sports Illustrated, St. Louis Blues, Stanley Bryant, Sydney Morning Herald, The Brier, The Guardian, The Independent, Tiger Woods, Trevor Harris, Wade Thurber, Washington Post, Winnipeg Blue Bombers, Winnipeg Jets, World Curling TourLeave a comment on About the Lords of Rinks and Drinks…Paul Gowsell curling under the influence of pizza…teetotaler Jeff Stoughton…Puck Finn and PlayStation…Dave Hodge shows his baby blues…so long Satch Maloney…the CFLPA d'oh boys…Dave Dickenson the Mea Culpa Man…and other things on my mind
About the McKenzie Brothers (Bob, Doug and Scott)…shootouts bite…a session with a shrink…Uncle Sam's beer league curlers…poking fun at Canada…Tessa, Tessa, Tessa…gold-medal writing from Bruce Arthur…and other Olympic stuff on my mind
Bob, Doug and long-lost brother Scott—the McKenzie Brothers.
Scott Moir—beauty, eh?
Who knew a fancy skater (and an ice dancer at that) could be such a party animal? Who knew there was a third McKenzie Brother?
Moir's beer-fuelled antics during the women's hockey gold-medal match between Canada and the United States at the Olympic Games of Snow and Ice Sports were straight out of the SCTV playbook. It was Bob and Doug McKenzie do PyeongChang. It couldn't have been more Canadian if it was a Mountie eating back bacon while reading a Pierre Berton book and listening to a Gordon Lightfoot album.
Coo-roo-coo-coo-coo-coo-coo-coo!
Shootouts suck! Sound like a batch of sour grapes? Probably. But it isn't. The Americans were worthy winners of the women's gold hockey trinket in South Korea. They were the superior side through 80 minutes of actual hockey and, had the championship match continued to a second period of sudden-victory overtime rather than the shootout, surely Uncle Sam's girls would have prevailed. It seemed to me that the Canadians had begun to run on fumes. Thus, the 3-2 U.S. victory was a just result. The Games methodology, however, is greatly flawed. The shootout never was, never will be a good idea. Next time, what do you say we ask the Canadian and U.S. women if they'd rather continue playing hockey until someone scores a goal? Let's leave the shootouts to soccer.
Joceleyne Larocque, third from left.
If I'm Jocelyne Larocque, I'm not apologizing for a damn thing. I mean, it's not like she did something stupid. You know, like get drunk, steal a Hummer, race around PyeongChang like Danica Patrick on uppers, then spend some quality time at a cop shop. Do something stupid like that (hello Willie Raine, Dave and Maja Duncan), you apologize and hope you get a judge who goes easy on drunk drivers. But do what Larocque did and…meh. So she removed a silver trinket that had been wrapped around her neck by some Olympic Games mucky-muck at a most awkward moment—during the lengthy parting-gifts ceremony post-match. Big flipping deal. Larocque was PO'd. The loss to the Americans was a fresh, open wound, and silver wasn't a suitable salve. So she held it in her left hand. And for that the Canadian rearguard receives an online scolding from Miss Manners wannabes on both sides of the great divide? That's why she offered a mea culpa? As if. Raw emotion is the very reason I buy into the Olympic Games. Sometimes that means tears of joy. Sometimes it's tears of sorrow. In Larocque's case, it meant an angst-of-the-moment act of defiance. I don't see the problem. Stop piling on.
Lucy Van Pelt
Should we book a session with Dr. Phil? Or maybe Charlie Brown's shrink, Lucy Van Pelt. Either way, I'm thinking some of us might need to vent. I mean, our hockey women had to settle for silver. Our hockey men had the gall to lose to Germany at a most inopportune time. Our women's and men's curling teams? Bupkus.
I swear, this is the biggest downer since Nickelback landed the halftime gig at the 99th Grey Cup game.
But let's save the shrink fees and accept that hockey and curling haven't been Canada's personal play things for much of the 21st century? Consider what has transpired since 2000:
World championship titles—Canada 10, Rest of World 21
Olympic titles—Canada 7, Rest of World 3
Total—Canada 17, Rest of World 24.
Curling World championship titles—Canada 17, Rest of World 19
British coach Glenn Howard.
Ya, sure, this is still Planet Puckhead. We're very good at hockey. The best. Our women and men aren't supposed to lose. When they do, we lower our psyche to half staff and share a group hug that stretches from Tofino to St. John's. We don't commit to as much navel gazing when our curlers slip on a banana peel, yet we do give some pause whenever our Pebble People don't occupy the top step of the podium.
But let's spare ourselves a National Day of Teeth Gnashing.
I'm singing the backup vocals for Glenn Howard when he suggests we all just chill after what transpired in South Korea.
"Settle down folks," said Howard, a Canadian and world champion curler who coached Eve Muirhead's Great Britain team that ushered our Rachel Homan outfit out of playoff contention. "Canadians have to understand that these teams outside of Canada are really good."
Been that way for a long time.
Rachel Homan
Most stinging (and over the top) criticism of our women curlers came from Paul Wiecek. The Winnipeg Free Press sports columnist aimed his poison arrows not only at Homan and her gal pals from Ottawa, but also at "that most worthless species in all of sports, the curling coach." He explained: "As far as I'm concerned, the Homan team's problems here begin with their coach, Adam Kingsbury, an academic with zero curling background who the Homan team has nonetheless ascribed a Koreshian-like influence in recent years. Homan has been putting the 'less' in 'joyless' since she was curling juniors and Kingsbury has just made that worse from my vantage point, turning these women into walking robots. If they were having any fun competing at an event they had devoted their lives towards, I saw no evidence of it. And if you're not having fun playing a sport for which the monetary reward is somewhere between nothing and next to nothing, then what's the point?" That's cruel and mean in spirit.
America's gold-medal curlers: Tyler George, John Landsteiner, John Shuster and Matt Hamilton.
Nothing says Monday night beer league curling like the four men who struck gold for Uncle Sam in South Korea.
Seriously. How much did they spend on their outfits? A buck fifty at a thrift shop? Third Tyler George wears eight-year-old sneakers. They're full of holes. And U.S. second Matt Hamilton doesn't use a belt to hold up his trousers. That's Secretariat's old girth strap. But, hey, if a guy of Hamilton's dimensions can win an Olympic Games gold medal I wouldn't rule out an Ed Werenich comeback.
All of which made them easy to like.
These Yankee doodle dandies are a throwback to the 1970s. I kept waiting for one of 'em to break out a pack of smokes and light up. On the ice.
Their back story is brilliant. A few years ago, USA Curling wanted them in their program like Donald Trump wants to tick off the NRA. But now John Shuster, George, Hamilton and lead John Landsteiner are Olympic champions. We're apt to see them chatting with one of the gab guys on late-night TV, and there's probably marketing possibilities. Who knows, they might make enough cash on the side to get rid of their slo-pitch uniforms and purchase actual curling duds.
Headline writers south of the 49th parallel are having great sport at our expense. A New York Times headline reads: "Canada's Curling Is Crumbling! Or Something Like That." The accompanying article suggests our double donut on PyeongChang pebble "would be comparable to the United States men's and women's basketball teams failing to win a medal at the Summer Olympics."
Other samples of American cheek:
Washington Post (after the U.S. beat us in both men's curling and women's hockey on the same day): "For six glorious hours, the United States owned Canada like a Tim Hortons franchisee."
Wall Street Journal: "Canadian Grief: Curling and Hockey Losses are 'Terrible, Terrible, Terrible'."
MarketWatch: "Hug a Canadian, urges German Foreign Office after dramatic ice-hockey upset."
Quick! Someone get a match! Let's burn down the White House again!
Whiteboard Willie Desjardins
As predicted, jock journalists were quick to apply a coat of tar and feathers to head coach Whiteboard Willie Desjardins in the wake of Canada's mournful, 4-3 semifinal shinny loss to Germany.
Bruce Arthur of the Toronto Star opined the "coaching was a mess."
Dave Feschuk, also a Star scribe, wrote: "What went wrong? Maybe it was Desjardins' infectious nervousness, or his odd overreliance on his bottom-six grinders, playing the old-time Saskatchewan stereotype to a tee. Even in a 4-on-4 situation needing desperately to score, Desjardins tossed out (Eric) O'Dell and Maxim Lapierre, his skill-challenged energy guys."
Not to be out-nastied, Steve Simmons of Postmedia Tranna added: "Desjardins had much to answer for. He didn't change lines. He didn't change styles. He didn't adjust to the Germans' trapping ways. He didn't shorten his bench when he needed to. He continued to use ineffective players. The coach, Willie Desjardins, froze."
And what did the natterbugs of negativity have to say about Desjardins after Canada's bounce-back, 6-4 win over the Czech Republic in the bronze-medal match? Crickets. Nothing but the sound of crickets. Mooks.
(That unfortunate loss to the Germans doesn't seem like such a stunner today does it? Not after they took Russia to OT in the title match.)
I'm not sure what it is about Tessa Virtue, but I cannot turn my eyes away from her when she's on TV. It doesn't matter if she's skating, marching into the stadium or standing on the podium, holding a stuffed toy in one of her dainty hands. I am hypnotized. And it's been that way for years.
She is a spellbinding temptress, sexy, sensual and seductive. As playful as a kitten and as smoky as a femme fatale, she is Snow White with come-hither tease and erotic athleticism. As she floats about the ice, her lissome body bending, twisting and twirling to the whims of her dance partner, Scott Moir, I wonder what world she has disappeared into. Her smile tells us it must be a pleasing place, full of passion and Zen-like serenity.
Others skate as well as Virtue. Perhaps better. But no one else has her 'it' factor.
She and Moir will leave South Korea with two gold medals, adding to a collection of Winter Games trinkets that now numbers five, more than any other fancy skaters in history. Alas, we might never see the Canadian couple skate together again, after 20 years. But what a beautiful trip they took us on.
Matthew Scianitti of TSN shares a lovely to-and-fro he enjoyed with Virtue, scant seconds after she had arrived in the mixed area following her gold-medal skate with Scott Moir in the ice dance last Wednesday.
Virtue (to assembled news scavengers): "How are you guys?"
Scianitti: "You mean us?"
Virtue: "Ya."
Scianitti: "Dude, you just skated in front of the world and won a gold medal. Doesn't matter how we are."
Virtue: "Yes it does. The Olympics are tough on everyone."
Can you say classy, kids? Totally.
Going from a beauty to a beast, it's about Mike Milbury. The NBC gab guy's filter between his grey matter and tongue was on the fritz during a Russia-U.S. men's hockey game. Discussing Russkie rearguard Slava Voynov, he said: "This guy was a special player, and an unfortunate incident left the Los Angeles Kings without a great defenceman." So, that's what we're calling wife-beating these days? An "unfortunate incident." Voynov was sentenced to nine months in the brig for beating the hell out of his wife, and he served two months before slithering back to his hole in Russia. He shouldn't have been allowed to participate in South Korea any more than Milbury should be allowed near a microphone.
Actor Kirstie Alley took a bit of a pummelling on social media after she tweeted that curling is "boring." I don't understand the great hue and cry. Fact is, she's right. I love curling, but I acknowledge that it sometimes can push the needle high on the bore-o-metre. Then, again, so can baseball, football, hockey and hoops. Oh, and most any movie/TV show that Kirstie Alley has ever appeared in.
I never covered an Olympics. Had no desire to. So I have to wonder: When did news scavengers in South Korea find time to sleep? Did they sleep? I mean, new stuff seemed to pop up on the Internet every half hour. It was non-stop scribbling. Thus, I harbor considerable admiration for everyone who went through that grind. Tough gig. And they're still cranking out the good stuff. Best of last week was delivered by…
Gold medal: Bruce Arthur for the truly Canadian story that is Brigette Lacquette, the first Indigenous player on the Canadian women's hockey team.
Silver medal: Arthur again, for his piece defending Jocelyne Larocque's behaviour during the women's hockey medal ceremony.
Bronze medal: Arthur one more time, for his piece on Canada's Pride House and the LGBT scene at the Winter Games.
Had there been any doubt, Arthur's work in South Korea confirms his position as this country's top sports columnist. Nobody's close to him.
Author pattidawnswanssonPosted on February 25, 2018 Categories SportsTags Adam Kingsbury, back bacon, Bob McKenzie, Brigette Lacquette, Bruce Arthur, Canada, Canada Pride House, Charlie Brown, Curling, Czech Republic, Danica Patrick, Dave Duncan, Dave Feschuk, Doug McKenzie, Dr. Phil, drunk driving, Ed Werenich, Germany, Glenn Howard, Gordon Lightfoot, hockey, Jocelyne Larocque, John Landsteiner, John Shuster, Kirstie Alley, LGBT, Lucy Van Pelt, Maja Duncan, MarketWatch, Matt Hamilton, Matthew Scianitti, Mike Milbury, Miss Manners, Mountie, NBC, New York Times, Olympic Winter Games, Paul Wiecek, Pierre Berton, Postmedia, PyeongChang, Rachel Homan, Russia, Scott Moir, SCTV, shootout, Slava Voynov, South Korea, Steve Simmons, Tessa Virtue, Tim Hortons, Toronto Star, TSN, Tyler George, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, wife beater, Willie Desjardins, Willie Raine, Winnipeg Free PressLeave a comment on About the McKenzie Brothers (Bob, Doug and Scott)…shootouts bite…a session with a shrink…Uncle Sam's beer league curlers…poking fun at Canada…Tessa, Tessa, Tessa…gold-medal writing from Bruce Arthur…and other Olympic stuff on my mind
Victoria HarbourCats keeping the Claire Eccles girl-vs-boys story on the down low; gets first start on Sunday
At first blush, I'll admit that I was skeptical and cynical about the signing of Claire Eccles. It reeked of gimmickry. Sexist gimmickry.
I mean, the girl-vs-boys angle is the simplest sideshow to sell in sports. It's also one of the media's favorite chew toys. For evidence, look no further than Billie Jean King, Manon Rheaume, Annika Sorenstam, Michelle Wie, Mo'ne Davis, Hayley Wickenheiser and Danica Patrick.
Yes, sir, put a Jill in with the jocks and it's news copy gold. And, hey, it's a bonus for the marketing wizards if she's what the lads call a "looker." (Do you really think Patrick has been showered with all that publicity because she's made a habit of getting her race car to the finish line ahead of the good, ol' boys on the top NASCAR circuit? She leads the league in long hair and lipstick, not top-10 finishes.)
Claire Eccles
So what better way for the Victoria HarbourCats to put rumps in the pews of their quaint ballpark than to trot a girl-next-door type out to the pitcher's mound and have her strike out all those hot-shot college boys from Trumpsylvania? Curiosity seekers are guaranteed to flock to Royal Athletic Park on the edge of downtown Victoria and cheer lustily each time Eccles is beckoned to make the hike to the hill, with the hip-hop beat of Gwen Stefani's Hollaback Girl accompanying her every step. Ka-ching!
Except that isn't how the Claire Eccles baseball-with-the-boys tale is unfolding.
Oh, sure, there was an avalanche of attention from the Fourth Estate—hither and yon—upon the Surrey southpaw's arrival in the B.C. capital. ESPN, the Washington Post, the Globe and Mail, the National Post, Sportsnet and MSN.com, among many others, eagerly glombed onto the Eccles story at the outset. But a week into the 19-year-old's West Coast League experience, she has been summoned by head coach Brian McRae exactly once. For a two-inning gig.
If that's a publicity stunt based on gender, the HarbourCats are failing miserably at Marketing 101.
That's the point, though. Other than the announcement of Eccles coming on board, the HarbourCats have resisted any urge to play the gender card in an effort to inflate ticket sales. Bravo for them. She's a baseball player, not a promotional circus act.
Mind you, that might be about to change, because McRae did the chin-wag thing with MSN.com 120 Sports on Tuesday morning and he declared Eccles his starter when the Kitsap BlueJackets come calling for a non-league game this weekend at RAP.
"We're gonna give her a shot, just like we give all the other guys that are here, to compete for innings," McRae said. "She's gonna start for us next Sunday and we'll see where it goes from there."
That sound you hear is the publicity machine cranking up.
I can't imagine the pre-game noise being any louder than in July 2010, though. That's when the Chico Outlaws and their so-called Knuckle Princess paid a visit to Royal Athletic Park. As it turns out, Eri Yoshida's knuckler didn't knuckle so well. The Japanese hurler allowed just one hit, but it was a grand slam, and she also walked seven batsmen and hit three others in her 2 1/3 innings of work. The thing is, advance hype attracted 4,753 to the ballpark that night, the largest gathering in Victoria Seals history.
Brian McRae
By contrast, when Eccles emerged from the bullpen last week to become the first female to pitch in the WCL, the head count was approximately 800. (She mopped up in a 9-0 loss to the Wenatchee RedSox and produced this pitching line: 2 IP, 1 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 1 HBP, 0 K, 9.00 ERA.)
It's a safe bet that the HarbourCats Hollaback Girl will be hucking the rawhide in front of an audience three to five times that size on the afternoon of June 18 at the local ballyard.
"I think having people like Claire come in and show everybody out there that it's not a publicity stunt, that she's getting an opportunity because she has a chance to be successful and help us, I think, in turn, that empowers other girls. I think you may see more and more women trying to play baseball," said McRae, who clearly sees both the short- and long-term pictures. "Pitching is about the only thing I think, if a woman were to be able to play pro ball, where they could compete with the males, would be on the mound."
And if Eccles, a University of British Columbia student who also pitches for Canada's national women's team, has designs on playing pro baseball?
"She's gotta get a little bit stronger, add some miles-an-hour to her fastball," said McRae, who played 10 years in Major League Baseball. "We think she could throw 80 miles-an-hour if we cleaned up her mechanics and got her to use her lower body a little bit better. Her fastball tops out about 71, 72 miles-an-hour right now, and her knuckleball is in the mid-60s or so, but we think there's more there that can get her to throw a little bit harder and be a little bit more effective."
In the meantime, "It's been kind of cool having her around."
Patti Dawn Swansson has been scribbling mostly about Winnipeg sports for 47 years, but she now lives one block from Royal Athletic Park in Victoria and might cross the street to watch Claire Eccles throw a baseball.
Author pattidawnswanssonPosted on June 13, 2017 June 14, 2017 Categories Sports, sports and societyTags Annika Sorenstam, Billie Jean King, boys, Brian McRae, Chico Outlaws, claire Eccles, Danica Patrick, Eri Yoshida, ESPN, gender, girls, Globe and Mail, Golden Baseball League, Gwen Stefani, Hayley Wickenheiser, Hollaback Girl, Knuckle Pirincess, Major League Baseball, Manon Rheaume, Michelle Wie, Mo'ne Davis, MSN.com 120 Sports, NASCAR, National Post, Royal Athletic Park, Sportsnet, Victoria HarbourCats, Victoria Seals, Washington Post, West Coast LeagueLeave a comment on Victoria HarbourCats keeping the Claire Eccles girl-vs-boys story on the down low; gets first start on Sunday
Alexander Burmistrov: Is born-again Burmi the Winnipeg Jets new Fro Lite or Kane Lite?
Quiz yourself this, kids: Would you trade Michael Frolik for Alexander Burmistrov? Even up?
Didn't think so.
That, however, is essentially what Grand Master Kevin Cheveldayoff did last week. For reasons yet to be clearly defined, the man who generally manages the Winnipeg Jets was unable to convince his most useful forward to remain in River City, thus Frolik shall continue his Jack-of-all-trades career while wearing Calgary Flames adornments.
To compensate for the Fro defection, the Grand Master prepared the fatted calf and welcomed home the prodigal player, Burmistrov, who, when last seen prior to resurfacing at the National Hockey League club's development camp this past weekend, was acting every bit the petulant, pouting punk and skulking off to Mother Russia.
So that's your exchange: Frolik out, Burmistrov in.
I have heard it suggested that Burmistrov is Frolik Lite, in that he delivers all those special niceties that the Czech forward provided. He just doesn't do them as well. I believe that to be an accurate assessment.
But, is Burmistrov actually Fro Lite or is he Kane Lite?
The dearly departed Evander Kane was, of course, a skilled (much of it wasted) player with attitude issues. He played cat-and-mouse with defrocked head coach Claude Noel, challenging his authority on more than one occasion. Although never putting it on public record that he wanted out of Winnipeg, we know he liked Pegtown about as much as Phil Kessel likes media scrums. Eventually, he was shuffled off to Buffalo.
Similarly, Burmistrov and Noel were singing from different sheets in the songbook, thus he skedaddled home for a two-season gig with Ak-Bars of the Kontinental Hockey League.
Now he's back and what the born-again Burmi brings to the party come October will be among the main storylines as the Winnipegs commence their 2015-16 crusade. If he's Frolik Lite, it's all good. If he's Kane Lite, not so much.
As it is, the former teenage prospect is now a 23-year-old prospect with plenty of upside but a past that fuels skepticism, and the Jets surely harbor a morsel of uncertainty about this migrant young man, otherwise they would have welcomed Burmistrov back to the flock with something more than a two-year contract.
The hope, of course, is that he's finally got his shite together, meaning he knows head coach Paul Maurice is the boss.
Desperate Hockey Wives: Okay, money aside, we still don't know the intimate details of Michael Frolik's defection to the Calgary Flames, thus rumors abound.
One such trickle of gossip suggests his girlfriend, Diana, pulled a Lauren Pronger and forced Frolik to sign anywhere but Winnipeg. The way it is whispered, she developed a considerable distaste for all things River City and, much like Lauren Pronger with hubby Chris and the Edmonton Oilers, she held veto power on where they set up house with daughter Ella.
I have neither heard nor read anything to lend credence to that rumor but, if true, I ask this: So what? Should a wife/girlfriend not have a voice in where she lives?
It seems to me she should have a loud voice.
Sam's Story a Non-Story? Once upon a time, a lot of football people were strictly Xs, Os and bite-the-head-off-a-live-chicken kind of guys. It would seem that at least one of those dinosaurs still walks among us.
I say that because of a snippet in a Kirk Penton piece last week.
It seems an unidentified Canadian Football League coach or manager pooh-poohs the considerable copy and air time devoted to Michael Sam, whose on-again, off-again career appears to be on again, although it's expected that the Montreal Alouettes will arrrive in River City for their date with the Winnipeg Blue Bombers this Friday sans the only openly gay man to sign a CFL contract.
"Michael Sam hasn't played a down of football north of the border and he has gotten a thousand times more recognition than Randy Chevrier, who won the Tom Pate Award (for oustanding sportsmanship and someone who has made a significant contribution to his team, his community and the CFLPA)," Coach/Manager No Name said. "That's pathetic. You guys (in the media) should be embarrassed."
Well, no. Here's what's pathetic and here's who should be embarrassed: A football lifer who doesn't recognize or appreciate the social significance of Sam's story.
It should never be just about Xs, Os and quarterback sacks. Sam is man-bites-dog copy. Can an openly gay man not only survive but, indeed, succeed in the macho world that is professional football? Is major professional sports in North America still a homophobic hinterland in a day and age when same-sex marriage is legal in Canada and the U.S.? Will Sam pave the way for more gay athletes to come out? That's why noted sheets like the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Daily Mail in the U.K. and so many others track the trials and tribulations of the Alouettes would-be rush end.
But what do those papers know about news? They're pathetic, right coach?
Patti Dawn Swansson has been writing about Winnipeg sports for more than 40 years, longer than any living being. Do not, however, assume that to mean she harbors a wealth of sports knowledge or that she's a jock journalist of award-winning loft. It simply means she is old and comfortable at a keyboard (although arthritic fingers sometimes make typing a bit of a chore) and she apparently doesn't know when to quit. Or she can't quit.
She is most proud of her Q Award, presented to her in 2012 for her scribblings about the LGBT community in Victoria, B.C., and her induction into the Manitoba Sportswriters & Sportscasters Association Media Roll of Honour.
Author pattidawnswanssonPosted on July 7, 2015 January 18, 2020 Categories National Hockey League, Sports, Winnipeg JetsTags Ak Bars, Alexander Burmistrov, Buffalo Sabres, Calgary Flames, Canadian Football League, Chris Pronger, Claude Noel, Daily Mail, Edmonton Oilers, Evander Kane, Kevin Cheveldayoff, Kirk Penton, Kontinental Hockey League, Lauren Pronger, Michael Frolik, Michael Sam, Montreal Alouettes, National Hockey League, New York Times, Paul Maurice, Phil Kessel, Randy Chevrier, River City, Washington Post, Winnipeg Blue Bombers, Winnipeg Jets, Winnipeg SunLeave a comment on Alexander Burmistrov: Is born-again Burmi the Winnipeg Jets new Fro Lite or Kane Lite?


Jetson Green - New Solar Shingle Hits the Market!
New Solar Shingle Hits the Market!
We're starting to see a number of interesting products in the building integrated photovoltaics (BIPV) area of solar innovation. A company out of Grass Valley, California – Sun Energy Engineering Co. – has developed a low-profile solar shingle, or Sun Energy Shingle, to be used instead of roofing shingles or over existing shingles. It's available in custom colors, too, depending on what kind of look you're trying to get on the rooftop.
Currently, the company is building up a dealer base and can design and install a system that fits the needs of any given building. Shown in these photos is an installation of the solar shingles over asphalt shingles on a building in Northern California.
Sun Energy Engineering Co., as discussed in a recent article in The Union, is not a manufacturer. Components of the solar shingle are manufactured outside of the U.S. and assembled in Union City, California. Taking this approach, Sun Energy has been able to bring the product to market quickly.
Perhaps they're trying to beat out a certain competitor, Dow Chemical Company. In October 2009, Dow introduced the POWERHOUSE Solar Shingle, which is made with CIGS photovoltaic cells. Dow's solar shingle, therefore, differs in at least one regard because the one offered by Sun Energy is made of multicrystalline cells.
Photo credits: Sun Energy Engineering Company.
I guess they are strong enough to stand on. So that is a good sign.
Wish you would tell us what mph wind rating this is – we can't have these in Florida because they're not rated high enough. Last one I saw was 80 mph, but we need 130 – 150 mph.
I represent a company called SolarTek Solutions and we have actually done two installations with this module…both the standard shingle as well as the custom brown shingle. We were the first to install these in Utah and continue to have this in our lineup for our customers who seek a more aesthetically pleasing solution. These are rated up to a minimum of 120 mph and can go higher depending on the number of roof connections that are made. They have been used in Southern states where hurricanes are a risk. Please let me know if you have any additional questions. Here is a video we recently participated in regarding the custom brown shingle. It is part of the Utah Solar Tour this year.
What's the cost on these types of units? What are the differences between the Dow and the Sun Energy (cost/installation time/warranty/etc)?
The installation looks quite simple! What about the wireing?
This is SolarTek Solutions again. The wiring is very similar to a standard module. These are run in strings to an inverter. The wire management is actually very good considering they sit against the roof. The installation is very straight forward. We have even installed an array that included a battery backup system without any issues. Please let me know if you need any additional information. We have a couple of pictures of installs we have done on our website if you want to check them out. Thank you.
Why was no useful information about the product actually included in the article? Price? Power output? Conversion ratio? Anything?
What a great way to take advantage of your roof while not adding panels on top. Great for people who do not have a directly south facing roof and need more solar to provide power. I love this concept!
This is great. But solar roof panels have been on the market for a while. But the technology is way better than it was 10-15 years ago. New solar cells are great. And price has come way down. Now if they get batteries to drop in price? I might look at getting new ones. Oh, we have 100% solar powered for 26 years. Still using 2 volt Edison Batteries. 96 batteries in groups of 12 for our system, 24 volt. And their OLD ! But rebuildable. Hell, shipping cost more than rebuild! Now is a great time to go solar!


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What is the $130,000 Mercedes-Benz EQS hiding?
What's special about the $130,000 Mercedes-Benz EQS?
There was information that the powerful crossover Mercedes-Benz EQS will be ready for serial production at the end of this year. The excitement around this model is due to the fact that the power reserve of this 7-seater electric car is as much as 660 km! This is a novelty from the premium segment, which has incorporated a number of obvious advantages, and now about everything in more detail. According to data from Western media, disclosed on August 20, Mercedes-Benz announced the launch of mass production of the Mercedes-Benz EQS 2023. Sales are expected to start at the end of this year. The starting price of the premium crossover will be $130,000. It is known that the car in the all-wheel drive version has a capacity of 536 hp. Its power reserve is about 660 km. The crossover battery supports fast charging from 10% to 80% in just 30 minutes! The EQS cabin has 3 screens connected into a single touch-screen control panel with a powerful built-in multimedia system and an entertainment display. The color scheme of the interior is gray-beige, with built-in lighting. Passenger seats have massage and heating functions, and this is only a small part of the amenities that owners of this model will experience. With the stated specs, this car's closest competitors are Tesla and Lucid. Compared to the Tesla Model X, the Mercedes-Benz EQS is more comfortable inside for passengers and has more interior space, although not as powerful. But in order to fix this, Mercedes is already preparing a modification to the AMG version, which will remove any shortcomings and surpass the competitor in all respects. In terms of dimensions, the Mercedes EQS is quite massive, has a length of 5 m and weighs 3.5 tons. Summing up, let's say that this novelty is definitely worth the money and will find something to surprise and please potential customers. It remains only to be patient and wait for the opening of sales.
You can check the repairs and mileage of any Mercedes-Benz with our help, remotely by VIN code, by ordering a service - MERCEDES-BENZ VIN DECODER

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


PlantronicsElectronic Hook SwitchElectronic Hook Switch Cable for remote desk phone call control (answer/end). This cable eliminates the need for a HL10 Handset Lifter.
Plantronics APC-82 Electronic Hook SwitchElectronic Hook Switch Cable for remote desk phone call control (answer/end). This cable eliminates the need for a HL10 Handset Lifter.
Jabra LINK 14201-33 Electronic Hook SwitchThe Jabra LINK 14201-33 enables remote Electronic Hook Switch Control (EHS) with Jabra wireless headsets and the Avaya Digital Deskphone series 1400, 9400 and 9500.Jabra wireless headsets with EHS functionality boost productivity as they provide the user with the ability to answer and end a call, while away from their desk.
Jabra LINK 265 Headset Training/Supervisory CordBoost agent proficiency with Jabra LINK™ 265 USB Y-training cable connects two Jabra Quick Disconnect (QD) headsets to one PC, so supervisors can stay muted or join the conversation.
JabraHeadset Training/Supervisory CordCord with mute functionality for connection to Jabra LINK 850 supervisor port, enabling supervisor to mute the headset microphone.
JabraHeadset/Headphone Adapter Remote UnitControl unit with USB-cable for Jabra EVOLVE 40 MS and Jabra Evolve 80 MS.
JabraHeadset/Headphone Adapter Remote UnitControl unit with USB-cable for Jabra EVOLVE 40 UC and Jabra Evolve 80 UC.
JabraHeadset Cord Lock for Headset, Telephone, Amplifier - WhiteSecurely connects the QD bottom cord to the desk phone or amplifier.
JabraHeadset Lock for Headset - BlackSecures the QD bottom cord to the headset and makes sure they are always connected.
ADD-COM ADD-818 Headset SwitchExperience the flexibility! Designed and engineered in Australia, the ADDCOM Multi Purpose Switch: A. offers greater flexibility and control of your headset and handset, B. has a recording option, C. has training functions and D. is compatible with most telephone systems The ADDCOM Multi Purpose Switch has it all.


text:
1 The Hunger Games $9,317,258 46% 3,916 -221 $2,379 $331,290,322 4 Lionsgate
2 The Three Stooges $6,982,850 24% 3,477 -- $2,008 $12,604,232 1 Fox
3 The Cabin in the Woods $5,716,215 3% 2,811 -- $2,034 $11,257,073 1 Lionsgate
4 Titanic 3D $5,196,148 56% 2,697 23 $1,927 $41,326,659 2 Paramount
5 American Reunion $4,404,125 29% 3,203 11 $1,375 $37,070,060 2 Universal
6 Wrath of the Titans $3,025,715 55% 3,102 -443 $975 $69,317,664 3 Warner Bros.
7 Mirror Mirror $2,989,178 46% 3,206 -412 $932 $47,508,773 3 Relativity Media
8 21 Jump Street $2,874,008 41% 2,735 -274 $1,051 $118,680,892 5 Sony / Columbia
9 Lockout $2,490,578 12% 2,308 -- $1,079 $4,712,755 1 Open Road
10 Dr. Seuss' The Lorax $1,320,035 52% 2,112 -891 $625 $203,648,585 7 Universal
1 Salmon Fishing in the Yemen $418,900 64% 435 -89 $963 $5,850,154 6 CBS Films
2 Journey 2: The Mysterious Island $320,504 69% 502 -149 $638 $100,252,061 10 Warner Bros. / New Line
3 Woman Thou Art Loosed: On the 7th Day $265,896 22% 102 -- $2,607 $484,319 1 Code Black Entertainment
4 Bully (2012) $212,000 32% 158 152 $1,342 $652,007 3 Weinstein Company
5 Safe House $161,385 61% 371 -111 $435 $125,200,700 10 Universal
6 John Carter $155,830 63% 446 -569 $349 $68,651,738 6 Disney
7 Act of Valor $115,331 53% 352 -356 $328 $69,192,507 8 Relativity Media
8 This Means War $110,608 28% 283 -38 $391 $53,781,944 9 Fox
9 The Vow $108,638 36% 335 -144 $324 $124,277,815 10 Sony / Screen Gems
10 Jeff Who Lives at Home $97,324 55% 183 -264 $532 $3,770,959 5 Paramount Vantage
11 A Thousand Words $96,164 73% 277 -230 $347 $17,779,201 6 Paramount
12 Blue Like Jazz $95,049 -11% 136 -- $699 $201,577 1 Roadside Attractions
13 Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance $70,569 77% 216 -61 $327 $51,324,060 9 Sony / Columbia
14 Chronicle $66,118 29% 165 3 $401 $64,128,934 11 Fox
15 Friends With Kids $60,182 63% 113 -94 $533 $6,940,295 6 Roadside Attractions
16 The Artist $46,795 71% 121 -101 $387 $44,022,693 21 Weinstein Company
17 Project X (2012) $45,736 33% 145 -299 $315 $54,310,137 7 Warner Bros.
18 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked $44,496 90% 153 -42 $291 $132,801,485 18 Fox
19 The Iron Lady $44,362 48% 146 -90 $304 $29,814,261 16 Weinstein Company
20 Casa de mi Padre $36,377 46% 121 -162 $301 $5,672,263 5 Lionsgate / Pantelion
21 Tyler Perry's Good Deeds $35,006 67% 125 -79 $280 $34,780,817 8 Lionsgate
22 The Woman in Black $30,300 21% 122 -37 $248 $54,196,661 11 CBS Films
1 Born to Be Wild 3D $38,083 -13% 40 0 $952 $18,125,591 54 Warner Bros. / IMAX
2 Touchback $29,199 34% 50 -- $584 $50,933 1 Anchor Bay Films
3 Silent House (2012) $29,102 3% 59 -155 $493 $12,653,958 6 Open Road
4 We Bought a Zoo $21,184 41% 83 -16 $255 $75,487,054 17 Fox
5 Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace 3D $12,284 75% 33 -12 $372 $43,361,841 10 Fox
6 Red Tails $10,929 27% 43 -12 $254 $49,791,752 13 Fox
7 The Grey $10,831 53% 13 -54 $833 $51,566,228 12 Open Road
8 Coriolanus $9,771 73% 18 1 $543 $660,489 13 Weinstein Company
9 The Descendants $9,509 45% 41 -37 $232 $82,566,002 22 Fox Searchlight
10 Undefeated $8,417 55% 17 2 $495 $484,127 9 Weinstein Company
11 W.E. $6,517 80% 17 -4 $383 $541,471 11 Weinstein Company
12 Albert Nobbs $2,204 118% 12 -18 $184 $2,975,431 12 Roadside Attractions


If composing an essay looks marginally scary, merely contemplate it being an possibility to boost your publishing skills. Finish could be the final part of the essay your audience will experience. To get this done it might be beneficial to attempt essay writing help to consider the subject on your own article. Take a gander at these frequently-asked concerns regarding application essays to find out more before you begin composing. It has to be the right guidebook for creating in the centre school, significant school, and reduced faculty levels. Remember that almost all dissertation projects will obtain which you prevent utilizing the very first individual. To put this facts to good usage, you've to practice using authentic SITTING article asks. Offer a fascinating truth about anything you happen to be going to review in your article is physique and in addition your viewers might want to keep reading to find out more. I actually do not know very well what it requires to publish the Common Application article. We identified just how to not just compose an incredible essay, I realized just how to have a great time although carrying it out.
Paraphrasing pays to when the quote includes information, facts, or research.
Thus, the original part of publishing a powerful article connect will be to do a bit of arranging. It is vitally important your composition is really a whole that each one of many chunks fit together.


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Al futbol, el servei de banda és una manera de reprendre el joc.

L'àrbitre concedeix servei de banda quan la pilota ha traspassat totalment la línia de banda, ja sigui enlairada o per terra. El servei és favorable a l'equip contrari al que ha enviat la pilota fora, realitzant el servei des del punt on va sortir la pilota.

Al moment d'efectuar el servei, el jugador ha d'estar de cara al terreny de joc, tenir una part d'ambdós peus sobre la línia de banda o a l'exterior d'aquesta, i utilitzant les dues mans alhora ha de llançar la pilota per sobre del seu cap.

Infraccions
Si un jugador rival no respecta la distància requerida per a executar el servei de banda o impedeix o distreu d'alguna manera el llançament, el rival rebrà una amonestació (targeta groga).

Si el llançador no executa el servei segons el procediment requerit o no ho fa des del lloc on va sortir la pilota del camp, el servei de banda passa a executar-ho l'equip rival.

El llançador no pot tornar a tocar la pilota un cop efectuat el servei fins que aquesta sigui tocada per un altre jugador, rival o del mateix equip. Aquesta acció és castigada amb un llançament indirecte per l'equip defensor des del punt on l'acció va tenir lloc.

No es pot marcar un gol directament des d'un servei de banda. Si la pilota traspassés la línia de gol sense que cap altre jugador l'hagi tocada, l'àrbitre concedirà un servei de porta per a l'equip defensor.

Vegeu també
 Córner
 Servei de porta

Reglament del futbol
Terminologia esportiva

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


Scones bursting with salty prosciutto, tangy goat cheese, and slathered with sweet strawberry butter. Scones for Mothers Day or scones for any day.
The difference between a good scone and a not-so-good scone is vast. At worst, a scone can be hard like a hockey puck, crumbly, dry, and bland. It will require a hot cup of tea or coffee just to choke it down, that is, if it doesn't go straight into the trash. But a good scone? It will be moist, fluffy, flaky, and even a little crumbly – but in a good way. Coffee and tea are not a requirement for good scones, but they certainly serve as an enhancement. The best scones are packed with lots of flavorful and fun ingredients, and that's exactly the kind of scone I have in store for you today.
These are savory scones thanks to the addition of salty prosciutto and tangy goat cheese. It's a combination of flavors you don't see all the time, which is odd considering how well they work together. They're crisp on the outside and fluffy on the inside with lots of salty bits speckled throughout.
A savory scone is good. But a savory scone paired with sweet strawberry butter? That, my friends, is great. This compound butter is super easy to make and requires only two ingredients – butter and Bonne Maman Strawberry Preserves. Okay, three if you count a tiny pinch of salt to bring out the flavors and balance the sweetness. Just whip everything together and you'll have the most amazing sweet accompaniment for these salty, savory scones.
But wait, there's more! This strawberry butter also works fantastically well on pancakes, waffles, muffins, bagels, biscuits, French toast, regular toast, and really, just about any other baked good. It has the most amazing strawberry flavor and isn't too sweet. It's just sweet enough.
I've loved Bonne Maman's preserves for a long time, so I'm thrilled to be collaborating with them on this post today. The beautiful old-school jars with that signature gingham lid and understated label is what swayed me to buy these preserves in the first place. But it's what's inside that's kept me coming back again and again. The ingredients are simple – no perservatives, no artificial colorings, no high fructose corn syrup, and non-GMO.
Bonne Maman preserves taste like they came from an old French grandma's garden… which is fitting, because Bonne Maman actually means grandmother in French. It is also worth mentioning that these jars are ideal for rinsing and reusing. I have several of them in my pantry. They're just so cute!
With Mother's Day on the horizon, these prosciutto and goat cheese scones with strawberry butter are the perfect thing to whip up to celebrate all the awesome women in your life. In fact, you can even make them well in advance since scones, like most baked goods, freeze and reheat beautifully. Same goes for the butter. Just let it soften to room temp so its nice and spreadable.
This post was done in collaboration with Bonne Maman. All opinions are 100% my own.
I absolutely adore these scones! The savory and sweet combination sounds amazing!
What a lovely combination. I've only eaten maybe two scones in my life, both hockey pucks. This could be scone redemption.
p.s. Do you think we can get a virtual tour of Soulberri?
Oh Coley!!!!! These scones!!! Utterly irresistible. I am a big scone fanatic and I completely agree that the savory scone is a waaaaay overlooked delight. Loving how you paired it with that strawberry butter…such a nice compliment. P.S.. I'm already dreaming about all the things I can slather that butter on. Mmmmm!


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Q: Colorbox: Show/simulate 'loading' animation for inline content Hi there I'm using ColorBox, and we do few steps in a form with jquery, and we want to show the loading animation of ColorBox while we are waiting for the reply from ajax.
How we can use it?
Thank you in advanced!

A: You can turn the loading graphic on and off with the calls:
$('#cboxLoadingGraphic').show();

and
$('#cboxLoadingGraphic').hide();

In my app I call the show method in the beginning of the function call, then the hide method when the ajax call returns.

A: I think what you want is fastIframe
$("#thediv").colorbox({iframe:true, innerWidth:870, innerHeight:500, fastIframe:false});

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaStackExchange


You are invited to the Program Meeting of the Friendship Veterans Fire Engine Association at 9 a.m. on Parade Day (Monday, February 16, 2015). This year we are at a new location: the Hotel Monace in downtown Alexandria.
Former House Sergeant-at-Arms Wilson "Bill" Livingood, who led the chamber through some of the greatest security crises in the history of the U.S. Capitol, retired in 2011 after seventeen years of service. The affable and low-key Livingood served with the Secret Service for 33 years before being appointed sergeant-at-arms in January 1995, standing as the top security officer on the House side during the tense moments of Sept. 11, the anthrax scares and the 1998 shootings of two U.S. Capitol police officers.
Livingood is a graduate of Michigan State University. Following a stint in the U.S. Navy, Livingood joined the Secret Service and was appointed to the Dallas field office in 1961. His assignments with the Secret Service included the presidential protective division and head of the Houston field office.
Plan on attending for a three-course breakfast, the presentation of the Ben Lynd Distinguished Service Award, the first appearance of the day of Gen. Washington, and good fellowship on the morning of the George Washington Birthday Parade.
Tickets will be available for purchase on line in late December.


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Dubai Airports and police sign MoU with IATA, ACI to improve security
posted on 14th May 2018 by yumna
In a move that will enhance customer experience and operational efficiency at security check points at Dubai International (DXB) and Dubai World Central (DWC), operator Dubai Airports together with Dubai Police General Department of Dubai Security signed a memorandum of understanding with the International Air Transport Association (IATA) and Airports Council International (ACI) to become part of their joint initiative on Smart Security, in Dubai on Sunday.
The Smart Security initiative aims to bring specific and measurable improvements in security effectiveness, operational efficiency and passenger experience at airport security checkpoints through better use of technology, process innovation, and the use of risk-based security concepts. The MoU will pave the way for Dubai Airports, together with airlines, control authorities, regulators and solution providers, to benefit from the knowledge and lessons gained through trials and research activities at other participating airports.
"We manage the world's busiest international airport with more than 90 million passengers passing through our facilities annually. To achieve our vision of being the best in customer experience as well as to provide the capacity to accommodate ongoing and future growth, it is imperative that we look to new technologies and processes to significantly reduce wait times and avoid queuing wherever possible. Our participation in the Smart Security initiative of IATA and ACI is a big step in that direction," said Buti Qurwash, Vice President of Security at Dubai Airports.
"We congratulate Dubai Airports and the Dubai Police General Department of Airport Security for their commitment to the introduction of the concept of Smart Security – a new global model for airport security – across Dubai's airports.
The deployment of innovative Smart Security solutions such as advanced screening equipment, lane automation and centralised image processing will not only improve passenger experience and boost the efficiency of the security process, but also ensure that the Dubai's airports have a security solution that can be adapted to meet the expected growth in passenger traffic over the next 20 years," said Muhammad Ali Albakri, IATA Regional Vice President, Africa and The Middle East.
Patti Chau, Regional Director, Airports Council International (ACI) Asia-Pacific said: "Airports and their stakeholders all play an important role in making passengers' journeys more effective, efficient and pleasant. The Smart Security initiative brings these stakeholders together with the shared goal of transforming the security checkpoint for the benefit of the traveling public. This innovative initiative paves the way for a future vision of security and ACI commends Dubai Airports' for demonstrating leadership on this significant endeavor, not only in the region, but globally as well."
Major General Ahmad Bin Thani, Deputy Commander-in-Chief for Seaports and Airports Affairs at Dubai Police affirmed that the Smart Security programme will contribute to the improvement of passenger experience at Dubai's airports.
"By making security checkpoints more efficient this programme will have a positive impact on the entire travel process and experience across touchpoints from the curb to the boarding gate. It will also increase cooperation between all stakeholders, helping us to achieve our common objective of a secure airport with a smooth experience," he added.


I produce a range of different crafts, including hand-printed textiles and homeware, jewellery, cards and other nature-related gifts. I also recycle old fabrics and other materials into new products – a process known as 'upcycling'.
Please click on the links below to browse the various gift ranges currently available in the Nature Crafts Folksy shop, and do keep checking back as new stock will be added soon!