Happy Monday all! I hope everyone had a fabulous weekend. We spent most of ours hanging out by the lake and playing with our littlest family member. As a highlight, we even ventured out for an early dinner date night with baby on Friday when T got home from work. We were pleasantly surprised to find that we aren't the only ones who had the idea to bring baby along. There were no less than three other couples dining out with babies at one of the nicer restaurants in our little corner of the world. There's no reason we should have to pass up date night and the nicer restaurants when we have a little one in tow right?!? C behaved like an angel, in case you were wondering, and T & I enjoyed a nice evening out capped off by a sunset boat ride. Perfecto!
In other news, I thought I'd put together a list of some New Mama Favorites for any of my followers out there that might be expecting. Not pictured, but equally important, are the helping hands of family and friends that have helped to make our transition into parenthood a little easier (i.e. those of you who brought us meals, or squeezed a few hours out of your day to come sit with C so this mama could find time for some essentials like taking a shower, getting groceries, or a trip to the hairdresser --- BIG THANKS!).
Nursing Bras & Pajamas // If you are nursing, get yourself to Target. Gillian O'Malley has a great line of nursing bras that offer some actual support...as opposed to those seamless styles that have minimal support. Great for sleeping, but not so great for daytime support unless you are small chested. Motherhood Maternity has some great nursing-friendly PJs that have a shelf-bra style for support while sleeping, and an easy snap down front that doesn't require much extra thought or manuevering while you are half asleep. Very important for those middle of the night feedings if you are a nursing mama!
Dry Fit Workout Tops // It's the middle of summer here, and dryfit T's have been a major staple in my weekday attire. Not only are they nice and cool, they are stretchy, come in lots of styles that aren't super form fitting, and are easy to wipe away baby spit up or slobber. Pair them with some yoga pants or workout shorts, and you have yourself an easy go-to new-mama uniform. One of my favorite budget-friendly styles is currently on sale HERE.
Water bottle // Staying hydrated is key. Increase that 8 cups of water per day to 10 cups if you are nursing. Having a refillable water bottle on hand is a great way to make sure you aren't getting dehydrated, not to mention easy to grab and go without filling up your trash or recycling with disposable water bottles.
Athletic Shoes // Now that it's possible to reach your feet again, a new pair of athletic shoes are just the thing to help get your workouts back on track.
Nursing Cover // Udder cover, hooter hider...call it what you will. If you are a nursing mama, you'll eventually find yourself in a situation where this will come in handy.
Healthy Snack Food // I'm a fan of hummus with pretzel chips, bananas, grapes, apples, and lightly salted almonds. Having something quick and easy you can grab out of the fridge or pantry when baby is fussing is a must. Bonus points for anything you can eat with just one hand.
Postpartum & Nursing Friendly Clothing // While I knew I would need a few items that would be post-baby, pre-losing-the-pregnancy-weight friendly, I greatly underestimated the need for nursing friendly clothing. Naively, I assumed I could easily get by with my collection of breezy summer dresses. After baby actually arrived, my plan to wear those cute T-shirt and halter style dresses went right out the window. Unless you plan to completely undress every couple hours to feed your babe (or are using formula), you're going to need plenty of sleeveless options that you can easily pull down the straps. Enter Old Navy. They offer some super cute and affordable options that work great for the postpartum and nursing mamas out there. I'm not just talking about dresses either. They have some great drawstring linen shorts that have been another staple in my summer mix when paired with a lightweight breezy top. Believe me, nothing makes a postpartum mama feel worse about herself than clingy tops and unforgiving waistbands. If only we could wear maternity leggings forever with their nice full panel waists to smooth out all those bumps...There are Spanx available to do the job too, but during the summer, who wants to wear an extra layer when it's already super warm out?!
Slow Cooker, Freezer, or Grilling Meals // Gone are the days of gourmet meals that take more than a half hour to prepare. If you have freezer space, stock up on some favorites to get you through the first couple of months. Perfect a few easy slow cooker recipes (like Pesto Ranch Chicken or Hot Italian Drip Beef), and inform your significant other that they need to step up the grilling skills. Salad and steamed or grilled veggies are a super quick and easy side. For the nights that you just can't cram in preparing a meal, stock up on some takeout menus to have on hand in a pinch!
What are some of your new mama favorites?


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Government & Politics|DNC 2016
Al Franken tells Tennessee Democrats they have work to do
Sen. Al Franken (left) and Mary Mancini, chairwoman of the Tennessee Democratic Party
By Joey Garrison, USA TODAY NETWORK - Tennessee
U.S. Sen. Al Franken, D-Minn., told Tennessee Democrats Monday that "we really have a fight on our hands" to get Hillary Clinton elected against Donald Trump as he called on troops to work this election season — at all costs.
"A lot of you have jobs. A lot of you have families. Ignore them," Franken said, prompting laughs at a Tennessee Democratic delegation breakfast Monday morning at the Democratic National Convention. "When we get back, work every day, OK?"
Franken, a former comedian, was the first Democrat to address Tennessee's Democratic delegation, which arrived in Philadelphia on Sunday. At Monday's breakfast, Franken was introduced by Jackson businessman Mike McWherter, son of former Tennessee Gov. Ned McWherter and a former Tennessee gubernatorial candidate in 2010.
Franken praised the "social justice" career of Clinton's new vice president selection U.S. Sen. Tim Kaine, D-Va. In discussing Clinton, he said he's "never seen anyone who is tougher and works harder and knows her stuff."
Despite the recent leaked emails that showed Democratic Party officials favored Clinton over U.S. Sen. Bernie Sanders, D-Vt., for the party's nomination, Franken said that Sanders is united behind the party. The emails prompted the resignation of DNC party chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Shultz on Sunday.
Sanders, who endorsed Clinton following a primary that at times turned bitter, is scheduled to address the DNC Monday evening.
"I talked to Bernie last night," Franken said. "I'm really looking forward to his speech this evening. I know that Bernie will be urging unity because there is so much at stake, and you know how much is stake by watching last week's convention."
Franken called last week's Republican National Convention in Cleveland "one of the ugliest conventions that I've ever seen" and Trump's speech "one of the scariest I've ever seen."
"What he basically did was present a dark, ugly picture of America. There are problems in America — there is no question about that — but he gave us no solutions to any of it."
"Our convention is going to be a stark contrast because what we're going to be talking about is how to build on America's greatness and how to address the real problems that we know that we have."
He also said that Democrats will have a much better lineup of speakers.
Franken joked: "To give you an example of the contrast between their convention and our convention, they had Scott Baio. We're going to have President Barack Obama."
InforMemphis Topics
Follow along as we watch the presidential debate at a bar
Whether you're supporting Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump, or one of the third-party candidates, or no one in particular, this heated presidential election campaign might occasionally drive you to drink. So where better to watch tonight's debate than at a bar? | Sept. 26, 2016(7)
Trump an awkward choice for some college Republicans
Vanderbilt grad student to talk gun reform at White House
County Commission seeks to limit term for interim appointees
Burgess sets priorities as county commission chairman
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What would a Clinton win mean for Tennessee?
WASHINGTON — Hillary Clinton's path to the White House doesn't run through Tennessee, where she's trailing Republican Donald Trump by double digits in most polls. | Oct. 01, 2016(26)
What would a Trump win mean for Tennessee?
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Good morning dear readers. In between slurping noodles and eating offal it has come to my attention that the good folks at General Mills launched the first-ever National Cereal Lover's Week today. As part of the festivities the company has created a web site, Hello, Cereal Lovers, and enlisted the aid of celebrity chef Justin Warner of Do or Dine. Warner can be seen in the above video making a lovely sounding scallop ceviche that uses Chex as a textural component and a not so lovely sounding Cocoa Puff Carbonara.
"I've loved cereal since before I had teeth, and as a chef, I'm always looking for inspiration and mixing unexpected ingredients to create knockout new flavor combinations," said Warner. That carbonara surely falls into the unexpected category.
As a kid, I too loved cereal, both the sweet sugar bombs like Golden Grahams and Lucky Charms and the crunchy creations like Crispix and Grape Nuts. The thing is in college I ate so much cereal that I hardly ever eat it for breakfast these days. Here's what I'd like to know: What's your favorite breakfast cereal? Tell me in the comments, or hit me on the Twitter, @JoeDiStefano.
I think cereal is one of those foodstuffs I will never understand. Growing up in India I never ate cereal — we always ate real food. And now having lived here for a while it just seems like a way for big corporations to make a lot of money by way of compromising people's health.
I hear you Premshree. So what was a typical breakfast for you back home?
My parents are South Indian (Kerala), so it was very common to eat idli (with chutney and sambar); puttu with kadala or boiled plantains; sometimes appam with ishtu (stew); rava (semolina) upma; dosas (with chutney and sambar). We also ate eggs in various forms: scrambled, sunny side up, or as a masala omelette (very common on the streets in cities like Bombay). And breakfast is almost always accompanied with chai or filter coffee — the latter being common in south India.


May 5, 1985: It was a bright sunny Sunday morning, Mother's Day in fact. I had been waiting my entire life for this moment, even though I was never exactly sure if and when the moment would occur until 4 years earlier. The moment? My Veterinary School Graduation.
I had been on campus for hours prior to the start of the ceremony and only got to see who was in attendance after the processional. The music swelled and the crowd cheered as the long line of graduates marched to our seats on White Hall Lawn. I scanned the audience. I spotted my Mom, Dad, Grandmother, two of my brothers, and my best friend, Andy Teague all sitting at various points in the audience. I also noticed an unexpected guest: My Aunt Gladys, form Indianapolis. She had no doubt arrived via her preferred mode of conveyance, the Greyhound bus. No small feat. It takes a bit of planning and effort to get to Tuskegee, Alabama especially on graduation day.
For those who don't know, graduation ceremonies at Tuskegee University are spectacular events and the most special of occasions. At that time and probably so today, so many of the graduates had gotten to this point the hard way. A lot of blood, sweat, time, and treasure had been expended to accomplish the goal of wearing a cap and gown during the outdoor ceremony. Many graduates were the first in their families to graduate from college, so the pomp and circumstances was not just for the graduates. Tuskegee graduations are also star studded events. In addition to the local/state politicians and school associated dignitaries one would expect, there were celebrities. In attendance that day were Tuskegee native Lionel Richie, actress and singer Lola Falanna, and an individual you may have heard and read a lot about recently, Bruce Jenner. Leave it to Tuskegee to always be on the cultural cutting edge, even 30 years ago. I have no idea why these people were in attendance, but they were all on stage to shake hands and congratulate each of us on our accomplishment.
The sartorial splendor of the audience was a sight to behold. To call it a fashion show would have been an understatement. Every color, combination, and imaginable style of dress was represented. In contrast, attire of the graduates paled in comparison. Underneath our traditional black gowns and mortar boards, men wore white shirts, black tie, slacks, and shoes and the women wore black dresses, complementary hose and black shoes. We were strictly warned during the two mandatory graduation practices earlier in the week that deviation from the prescribed dress code would not be tolerated and would result in being precluded from the ceremony. The powers that be were so serious about this. Each and every participant was checked by a "dress code" marshal when we lined up. A few did not head the warning and paid the price of being excluded. A shame because we were the last class to graduate with diplomas that would read "Tuskegee Institute." All future students would be graduates of Tuskegee University.
The memory of the event is mostly a blur of relief, excitement, and pride. I frankly don't remember who the commencement speaker was or the topic of his address: something about responsibility, entering the work force, and becoming contributing members of society. Typical commencement speech content. The one thing I will always remember were the big hugs I received from my Mom and Dad, their smiles, and their pride in my becoming a veterinarian. After the ceremony, I presented my diploma to them, which hangs on the wall of my parents home along with my first state license certificates. I may have earned those various certifications, but they truly belong to my parents.
Dr. Pierre Bland is a small animal practitioner who offers office and house call appointments to his clients. His offices are located at 3225 N. Andrews Avenue, Ft. Lauderdale, FL and can be reached at 954 673-8579.
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Owner of "Dr. Bland's Vet House Calls" as veterinary house call services. I will come see and treat your pet at your home or at my offices @ Shank Animal Hospital in Fort Lauderdale Florida. 954-673-8579 Be sure to read my weekly column in the South Florida Times for my take on Pet Care and Health issue important to you and your pet.


There is a misconception in our mind that, bacteria are really bad and causes diseases. But this information is completely wrong. There are some good bacteria also exit which are good for our health. These good bacteria are mostly found in dairy products and dietary supplements . Probiotics are such type of good bacteria which is really helpful for our body... Want to know more regarding probiotics, then read below..
Probiotics are live micro-organisms which are good for our health and specially for the digestive system. These are also called good bacteria as these keeps our guts clean. If you wonder how these works then let me tell you, after you having the probiotics (good bacteria) ,they replace the bad bacteria and balance the equation of good and bad bacteria in our body. It also improves our digestive system.
From research some more benefits of having probiotics are also found ..
Isn't it great to have probiotic ? Well, you can find probiotics in dairy products and dietary supplements like Zenith Nutrition Probiotic Fiber capsules.
Fiber with FOS and probiotics provides two excellent sources of fiber along with friendly bacteria and the food they need to successfully colonise in the digestive tract. One gram per day of FOS may dramatically increase the colonise of friendly bacteria after just 30days of use. These friendly bacteria are effective at inhibiting the growth of harmful organisms including yeast, E.Coli and others. They also promote healthy digestion.
It is adviced to take 6 capsules daily or as directed by your physician.
These are 100% vegetarian dietary supplements and there is no gluten, fish, sugar and salt. Along with there is no colour and artificial flavour . This probiotic fiber dietary supplement is great to keep body healthy and to keep the digestive system strong. But it is always advisable to contact your doctor before having any supplements..
Note - If you are pregnant, lactating women, diabetic, hypoglycemics and people under any medical observation, then have this supplement under your doctor's consult.
** This post is completely for educational purpose.
Probiotics are a must for our body and Zenith has got a good range of supplements!
This is a healthy bacteria we all need. I have tried this supplement from Zenith and it really works well.
Thanks for sharing Such an informative post and probiotics have so many benefits.
I love Zenith's supplements very much as i use some of them.. Its very much promising..
Zenith has come up with some amazing range of supplements and this is one of them, thanks for sharing!
Probiotics are the talk of the town. With such hectic and unhealthy lifestyle it's important to take pro biotics. Zenith supplements are always good and deliver results. I am sure zenith probiotics are also effective.
I would love to try this which boost my immunity system. Sounds another promising product from this brand.
Thanks for sharing these great benefits of Probiotic. Zenith is a good brand. I must try this soon.
You broke so many myths about bacteria with this article. Loved reading this.
I'm taking zenith pro biotic and it is really helping me a lot.


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Career Advice / Job Search / Job Search / What is Reframing and How Can I Use it in a Job Search?
What is Reframing and How Can I Use it in a Job Search?
I have a Post-It note up on my desk, right at eye level, which I will frequently refer to during the course of my day coaching executive job seekers: "Assume positive intent." If someone asks a question that seems rude, assume they didn't mean it rudely but simply phrased it in the best way they could. If someone is resistant or is constantly challenging the most basic aspects of our work together, assume that it's NOT because they don't trust you, but because change is difficult, and there's a natural level of fear and uncertainty attached with one as large as shifting jobs. In other words, instead of allowing myself to become upset and acting on that feeling (which has never, ever improved things) I REFRAME the situation and act on that instead.
Reframing is a life-changing idea if you'll allow it to work its magic, and I want to show you some situations where you can use it to break through job search logjams:
Also read: How to Maximize Your Job Search Productivity
Job Search Situation #1: You're struggling with a long and winding work history within your resume- much of which does not seem immediately relevant to the position(s) you're targeting now.
You Could: Decide to just "put it all up there" and see what happens (answer: you'll frequently get passed over because you don't come across as a strong fit for the position). Or you could decide to chop away all of the experience that's not directly relevant and echo a job posting. But that often leads to difficulties after the initial interview, when the focus shifts to your value adds (read: everything you've just cut away). Neither approach is optimal.
The Reframe: Ask yourself the following:
"What are the 3-4 areas of PAIN I solve that can be used to actively move things forward at target companies, and which are largely a result of the unique career path I've walked?" If you're an IT executive who started out in hardline sales roles, really challenge yourself to figure out how that experience gives you an edge today. This type of unique value is the greatest asset you have- be unabashed about expressing it!
"Where is the OVERLAP between the PAIN POINTS and SKILLS which my competition for these roles are consistently highlighting, and what I'm highlighting?" Pull up LinkedIn Profiles of direct competitors, people who have the exact job titles you're interested in and work in target industries. Who shows up in the first few pages of search results? Go through their LinkedIn Headlines, LinkedIn Summary section, and Skills & Endorsements section to gather this competitive intelligence.
With these new insights in hand, structure your resume to BEGIN with those major pain points, and then creatively expand upon it within the Professional Experience/work history portion of the document. In other words, every major role you've held should start with the PAIN you solved or the POSITIVE END RESULT of the individual changes you brought about, and should then be backed up with success after success after success.
IMPACT is what truly moves the needle in a resume, not experience. Reframe accordingly and you'll see better results.
Also read: Help I've Lost All Prospective When It Comes to My Resume!
Job Search Situation #2: You're put on the spot during an interview about your lack of experience in a particular area.
You could: Mount a vigorous defense about why that won't be an issue. The problem is, even the best defense LEGIMITIZES the assertion, if only because of how seriously you've responded to it!
The Reframe: Address the issue, yes, but then move the conversation to the DEEPER problem that needs to be solved. I teach clients the APA strategy for handling this, or "Acknowledge-Pivot-Anecdote." Acknowledge the issue that's been raised ("That's true, I haven't led global teams of more than 5-10 people, and that is markedly different than the large groups which need to be guided here"). PIVOT to the true matter at hand (…but if we're discussing what's required to find that common ground, and actively move a large initiative forward in the face of conflict…) Finally, share a relevant ANECDOTE to support the deeper assertion (At Company XYZ, we faced a situation like this. Here's what it looked like, here are the actions I took, and here's the end result….)
In many cases, executing a REFRAME in the face of this kind of questioning will either remove it as an issue entirely, or at the very least significantly lessen its impact on your candidacy.
I encourage you to become a "situational detective" when it comes to the job search. Don't just accept a situation, or a standard way of responding to ANYTHING before you've first asked yourself, "Can I reframe this in a way that's more advantageous?" In many cases, you can!
Looking for More Advice on Job Searching?
Check out our Job Search-Focused Articles.
Anish Majumdar is a nationally recognized Career Coach, Personal Branding Expert, and a fierce advocate for transitioning leaders. His posts and videos on disrupting the "normal rules" of job searching and getting ahead reach a combined audience of 30M professionals every month. Go down the rabbit hole of Anish's career videos at HelloAnish.com, and connect with him on LinkedIn to receive daily career tips and advice.
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COVID Reversed Decades of Progress for Women Execs — How Companies Can Change That


Check out our slides on Quick facts from Tax stats 2012-13.
Every year the Australian Tax Office publishes data from income tax returns and other aspects of the taxation system. Data for 2012-13 has recently been released in the latest edition of Taxation statistics.


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Also do you think it felt "safe" for him to talk about things with you?
I wad very skittish about talking with some of my emotionally volatile exes in an honest and vulnerable way because it didnt feel safe. I felt like if I said something they didnt like it would result in an attack. Sometimes an extremely hostile reaction. After a point you realize its just not worth being emotionally honest. Also remember critisizm is like Kryptonite to Avoidants.
But also some compassion to yourself because it doesnt sound like it was safe for you to express yourself either. For fear of his shut down, dismissal, invalidation etc.
I'm reminded of pia mellody's quote about what intimacy really is. Something along the lines of being able to share your true self with someone and they you in return.
Dec 26, 2021 16:44:02 GMT krolle said:
Yes, definitely some co-dependence. Being in such an unhealthy relationship before I didn't want to slip into one, but also I knew I couldn't mother him or set boundaries for him, so I tried to stay on my side of the street. I asked him to slow down. I did my own things with friends and kept my own hobbies. He wanted me to join him to every social event he was invited to, sometimes I just said I appreciated the invite but I also wanted him to have his own friends. We were seeing each other 2-4 days a week and said he was lonely when I wasn't around, I felt bad but encouraged him to spend time on his hobbies or his friends.
He seemed to have zero boundaries, I would ask him if things were okay or if he had preferences for what to do, or where to go, he would just say "whatever makes you happy"
Reflecting back there was definitely some emotional co-dependence coming from me, I am still working on emotional regulation and I kept wanting him to sooth me when we had a fight. I blamed him for my bad feelings after, and was so angry at him. Which I am aware no one can make you feel anything. It was all the stories I was telling myself.
His friend seemed to like to meddle in everyone's relationship, she had zero boundaries. She didn't seem to like that I knew what I wanted out of life, and wanted to be married. Because we both wanted a kid M and I had discussed some cursory timelines and said 12-18 months to discuss engagement. She kept saying you can't be sure of anyone and that she didn't believe in marriage. She had commitment issues and treated her bf like crap in front of everyone. Even M commented on it a few times to me. When things ended she made a passive aggressive comments about how it ended so I was wrong.
Yes, I was aware he didn't have the condom on. He was dealing with ED from performance anxiety for the first few months we were intimate. We had clearly discussed and agreed on the condom before penetration, so I let him put it on when he was ready because me asking or moving towards it was making his ED worse. We went from naked and making out to him penetrating me. I gave him a minute because I thought maybe he just forgot and he didn't stop. I stopped him and went into freeze. He put one on and we finished and then I drove myself home, it took a few hours for me to wrap my mind around what had just happened.
After I brought it up he said "other women have never made me wear a condom", and he "didn't understand" why we couldn't just pull out. He just kept saying he didn't understand and I hadn't clearly explained why I had this boundary (he knew I had been raped before so consent is important to me). But eventually we talked through it, he apologized. Then he asked if he had raped me, and I said I wasn't really sure, because in some places it was rape. But he was obviously sorry and I trusted he wouldn't do it again.
I tried to make it "safe" for him to talk to me, at the end though I can definitely see he didn't feel safe, and that I did contribute to that, but I als believe that is not 100% on me. At times I would bring things up because I could tell there was something brewing and sometimes he was relived and would talk, other times he would get defensive and say nothing was wrong. Then later he would come back and say ... "yeah actually". He kept saying he wasn't used to talking about things, and it took him a long time to figure out his feelings. That he has no close friends, and his family don't communicate how I do. He made a point of telling people how I was an amazing communicator. I am hyper aware BPD's being very toxic and I try hard to not be like that anymore. No yelling, no swearing, no threatening to breakup. (I have never self harmed or even desired to) That I need to ask for clarification if someone does thing I perceive as hurtful. I really wished he had asked me what BPD was like for me, I gave him a few opportunities because googling it you can get the worse cases, and he just said he was okay.
I am ashamed I did say some pretty mean things a few times like "I am not your mother" or "you are so immature, even children know not to touch others how they don't want to be touched". I remember one fight about the tickling I yelled "BOUNDARIES DO NOT NEED TO BE JUSTIFIED TO BE VALID" every time he tried to open his mouth or argue with me.
One time he lost his erection, and said it was my fault because I wasn't flexible enough. It hurt, but I was very supportive about his ED and how hard it must be but he kept saying it wasn't his ED, and it had nothing to do with him. It took him over a week before he apologized.
I am very aware of being very sensitive, so I like to take time to calm down before I approach things. Many times after a little bit I don't even need to bring it up anymore or I just mention it but don't need a giant discussion about it. He didn't like this because then he couldn't remember what happened and he wanted me to bring it up at the moment it happened. Now that I reflect on this, I think this need to "remember what happened" was due to his need to be right. If he couldn't remember in detail what happened then he couldn't prove he was right. He admitted he felt that if he just presented a logical enough argument that people would have to see his side of things.
I was definitely critical to an extreme about his defensiveness, I said on more then one occasion I was having a hard time dealing with it. The main thing making me upset wasn't even that he was violating boundaries. People do that by mistake. It was that everytime he did he would get defensive. Then upset that he hurt me and then finally he would apologize. I get that in all partnerships sometimes you have to put your own feelings aside but it very much felt like I was the one who had to keep doing it to repair things. I know I was FAR too demanding of him going to counselling. I was pretty bad about not letting him withdrawal. He was not stonewalling me on purpose, he just didn't know what to do with me crying. I was pretty blind to how I was contributing to his defensiveness and our dynamic. And that the only person I can control is myself.
I actually never stopped bringing things up. Having been in a controlling relationship for so long I told myself I would never silence myself again. I also felt very secure that we would always work things out and that conflict isn't unhealthy. It's how you handle it. I think in this situation though that because I wouldn't back down, by the time he swore at me, I was so de-regulated I had no hope in hell of having a productive conversation, and he didn't have the skills or tools to know where to even start.
edit: I wished I had provided him more positive reinforcement about the things he was getting right, because when I did he would just light up. I also should have been far more constructive about what I needed and what he could do instead of just focusing on how defensive he was. I have since learned what I need to restore trust and that when he kept saying he was trying to change that it would have been far more constructive to come up with a plan together. But I think no matter what I did, since he can't show up for himself it wouldn't have worked out. We could have ended up married and him extremely resentful of me. My counselor was very concerned that with his history of pushing my boundaries then not accepting responsibility his behavior would have escalated.
Post by krolle on Dec 27, 2021 5:39:48 GMT
There is a lot of information to process. I get quiet an apprehensive feeling from reading your posts, which do feel very borderline.......very familiar....to me. And as I said I'm sure theres a lot more going on between the lines you can unpack. Hopefully with the help of your therapist.
But try not to beat yourself up too bad. As much as people can be very harsh, it must be hard to be the person with a PD in a relationship. There is no use in playing the blame game. But it was certainly not all your fault. He definately brought his own problems to the relationship. You just did the best you could with the tools you had.
And lots of credit for having insight into whats going in with you and getting help for it. Thats a very admirable first step to getting healthier.
In terms of recounting the specific events then I would urge caution about using those, at least for your own recovery purposes. Of course I dont know you or what you've been through so I wouldnt want to invalidate your experiences.
But the 3 people with BPD I have known or dated all shared one common trait. And that was that they could not accurately recall events that happened whilst triggered.
My long term ex for example, after we broke up, absolutely hated me. And I had the chance to talk to her about it and I asked her why she hated me so much, and she said a few things, one of which was "You said you left me because I'm too fat"....Or something along those lines.
I was absolutely shocked. I could tell she wasnt just making it up, she really believed with absolute conviction I had said that to her. Which I categorically never did. I realised after some thought she was likely projecting her own insecurities onto me. And it helped her to demonize me... i.e splitting.
But after the fact,I have realised I was just as "messed up" in my own way and it certainly wasnt all her fault. At the time I thought my Sh*t didnt stink. I now see things a bit more balanced. Your ex almost certainly has a lot to work through himself.
I imagine you're hurting a lot from the break up. So while your still in the heart break phase, try your best to do the things you enjoy. Be with friends, look after your body. Basically as much as you can to make yourself happy as you can be in such difficult circumstances.
Dec 27, 2021 5:39:48 GMT krolle said:
Thank you for the insight. I agree I have a writing style that conveys a certain energy. It's something I've pondered quite a bit. I'm sorry if reading my post brought up negative feelings about dealing with BPD in the past.
I have a heard time with the BPD label. I have had two friends with BPD and their behavior was on the extreme end so I get a bit defensive. I don't want to be judged by it. I try so hard, so from my point of view, I don't do the crazy things BPD is known for. It also ties into my core wound of I'm broken beyond repair. Having a PD is for life.
Remembering things differently isn't necessarily a BPD thing. It's about the feelings and meaning someone has attached to an event. Though I'm aware we tend to jump to the worse. My counselor is worried that because I don't trust my own judgement, I am often too forgiving of people.
I'm sure if he was sharing, he would say he made some mistakes and my reaction was completely out of line with what he did.
In order to not keep the attachment alive I need to remember all the things he did that didn't work for me. But I do try to hold onto that he loved me, and helped me grow in so many ways. I will always love him and be thankful for our time together.
I thought I was healing... Jan 11, 2022 2:39:44 GMT via mobile
Post by usernametaken on Jan 11, 2022 2:39:44 GMT
I de-activated my Facebook to sever one of the last ties between us and the next day his friend sent me a video about why some people are obsessed with "astrology, psychology and personality types" and asked me what I thought of it. At first I wanted to tell her how wrong the video was but I just kept it simple with "cute". Unfortunately the damage was done and I'm in another spiral of missing him and wondering why she reached out. The timing is so suspect.
He has an out of print dvd of mine that I really want back and I have some of his items but I can't bring myself to reach out. I'm struggling with why. Is it because I know I'll cry and I don't want him to see me still missing him or maybe it's because then it's really really over... Maybe both. Then I'm feeling shame because I keep wondering why he didn't return my dvd with the rest of my things and I know I shouldn't be reading into it... But I am.
I thought I was healing... Jan 13, 2022 17:33:25 GMT via mobile
Post by krolle on Jan 13, 2022 17:33:25 GMT
Jan 11, 2022 2:39:44 GMT usernametaken said:
Are you and his friend on terms where you guys message each other randomly?
And in terms of the difficulty reaching out for your dvd then yes I would agree with what you said. Part of it is that it respresents a final break, and partly that its just a really painful thing to deal with reaching out to an ex after a painful break up when emotions are still raw. Your brain is designed to avoid pain so its natural it would be difficult.
I thought I was healing... Feb 1, 2022 4:14:43 GMT
Post by usernametaken on Feb 1, 2022 4:14:43 GMT
Jan 13, 2022 17:33:25 GMT krolle said:
I meant to reply to this, got halfway through when my computer ate it so I forgot. Sorry about that, I really appreciated your reply. We are not on terms where we are friendly or message each other things other then local dessert shops. Which is what she has continued to send me so I think she got the message.
I reached out to M directly and said I hoped he was doing well, I realized he still had my dvd and could we meet at a local market halfway between us for me to get it back. It took awhile, but his reply was he has my DVD and some hair products and will mail them back. very direct. It felt like the reply of someone who is still hurt? It's actually going to be really expensive to mail that package vs just spending the 5 minutes to meet up with me.
I cried, I let it out that he is still harboring this against me three months later, and am now trying to feel compassion for him. Part of me now feels like sending a "I wish you the best in life, good luck" kind of text to be like "I don't care anyways!" Which really shows part of me still cares, but I think it's the part of me that is a child and going "BUT YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME" more then wanting him back. I think I am at the point where even if he wanted to reconcile I no longer do. My ex fiancé had far more reason to hate my guts with the way I ended our 17 year relationship and he and I are still friends, because he was able to talk to me like an adult.


text:
National Rugby League 2000
Draw and Results
Show Single Round Draw and Results
St George Illawarra Dragons (12) v Sharks (28) Sat 5 Feb 12:00AM at ANZ Stadium (Crowd: 62255) Sydney Roosters (20) v Parramatta Eels (16) Sat 5 Feb 12:00AM at ANZ Stadium (Crowd: 62255) Auckland Warriors (14) v Melbourne Storm (6) Sun 6 Feb 12:00AM at Mt Smart (Crowd: 20546) Northern Eagles (24) v Newcastle Knights (14) Sun 6 Feb 12:00AM at Central Coast Stadium (Crowd: 20059) Wests Tigers (24) v Brisbane Broncos (24) Sun 6 Feb 12:00AM at Campbelltown Stadium (Crowd: 15376) Canberra Raiders (14) v Bulldogs (2) Mon 7 Feb 12:00AM at Bruce Stadium (Crowd: 14624) Penrith Panthers (19) v North Queensland Cowboys (6) Mon 7 Feb 12:00AM at Penrith Park (Crowd: 10623)
Parramatta Eels (10) v Brisbane Broncos (18) Fri 11 Feb 12:00AM at Newcastle Knights (38) v Melbourne Storm (6) Sat 12 Feb 12:00AM at McDonald Jones Stadium (Crowd: 16155) St George Illawarra Dragons (12) v North Queensland Cowboys (6) Sat 12 Feb 12:00AM at WIN Stadium (Crowd: 6024) Sharks (28) v Sydney Roosters (2) Sat 12 Feb 12:00AM at PointsBet Stadium (Crowd: 13112) Bulldogs (0) v Penrith Panthers (26) Sun 13 Feb 12:00AM at ANZ Stadium (Crowd: 11214) Canberra Raiders (22) v Northern Eagles (8) Sun 13 Feb 12:00AM at Bruce Stadium (Crowd: 10085) Wests Tigers (17) v Auckland Warriors (16) Mon 14 Feb 12:00AM at Leichhardt Oval (Crowd: 10807)
St George Illawarra Dragons (0) v Bulldogs (24) Fri 18 Feb 12:00AM at Allianz Stadium (Crowd: 16163) Canberra Raiders (16) v Melbourne Storm (12) Sat 19 Feb 12:00AM at Bruce Stadium (Crowd: 13337) Parramatta Eels (19) v Sharks (18) Sat 19 Feb 12:00AM at Pirtek Stadium (Crowd: 13243) Sydney Roosters (32) v North Queensland Cowboys (12) Sat 19 Feb 12:00AM at Allianz Stadium (Crowd: 5820) Auckland Warriors (10) v Brisbane Broncos (28) Sun 20 Feb 12:00AM at Mt Smart (Crowd: 17505) Newcastle Knights (46) v Wests Tigers (8) Sun 20 Feb 12:00AM at McDonald Jones Stadium (Crowd: 21304) Northern Eagles (27) v Penrith Panthers (16) Mon 21 Feb 12:00AM at Lottoland (Crowd: 14000)
Sydney Roosters (12) v Bulldogs (32) Fri 25 Feb 12:00AM at Allianz Stadium (Crowd: 14326) Auckland Warriors (18) v Newcastle Knights (18) Sat 26 Feb 12:00AM at Mt Smart (Crowd: 12560) Northern Eagles (21) v St George Illawarra Dragons (20) Sat 26 Feb 12:00AM at Central Coast Stadium (Crowd: 19092) Sharks (14) v Brisbane Broncos (18) Sat 26 Feb 12:00AM at PointsBet Stadium (Crowd: 15969) Penrith Panthers (30) v Melbourne Storm (22) Sun 27 Feb 12:00AM at Penrith Park (Crowd: 11132) Wests Tigers (18) v Canberra Raiders (10) Sun 27 Feb 12:00AM at Leichhardt Oval (Crowd: 9271) Parramatta Eels (18) v North Queensland Cowboys (26) Mon 28 Feb 12:00AM at Pirtek Stadium (Crowd: 10110)
Melbourne Storm (70) v St George Illawarra Dragons (10) Fri 3 Mar 12:00AM at Melbourne Cricket Ground (Crowd: 23239) Brisbane Broncos (20) v Newcastle Knights (14) Sat 4 Mar 12:00AM at QEII Stadium (Crowd: 27146) Bulldogs (22) v Parramatta Eels (12) Sat 4 Mar 12:00AM at ANZ Stadium (Crowd: 19081) North Queensland Cowboys (12) v Sharks (26) Sat 4 Mar 12:00AM at 1300SMILES Stadium (Crowd: 15890) Sydney Roosters (22) v Northern Eagles (2) Sun 5 Mar 12:00AM at Allianz Stadium (Crowd: 8373) Wests Tigers (22) v Penrith Panthers (10) Sun 5 Mar 12:00AM at Leichhardt Oval (Crowd: 8853) Canberra Raiders (56) v Auckland Warriors (12) Mon 6 Mar 12:00AM at Bruce Stadium (Crowd: 8170)
Melbourne Storm (42) v Sydney Roosters (10) Fri 10 Mar 12:00AM at Olympic Park (Crowd: 14032) North Queensland Cowboys (8) v Brisbane Broncos (50) Sat 11 Mar 12:00AM at 1300SMILES Stadium (Crowd: 27643) Parramatta Eels (16) v Northern Eagles (14) Sat 11 Mar 12:00AM at Pirtek Stadium (Crowd: 11148) Penrith Panthers (31) v Auckland Warriors (24) Sat 11 Mar 12:00AM at Penrith Park (Crowd: 9305) Newcastle Knights (40) v Canberra Raiders (10) Sun 12 Mar 12:00AM at McDonald Jones Stadium (Crowd: 18443) St George Illawarra Dragons (9) v Wests Tigers (15) Sun 12 Mar 12:00AM at WIN Stadium (Crowd: 12021) Sharks (14) v Bulldogs (4) Mon 13 Mar 12:00AM at PointsBet Stadium (Crowd: 11500)
Brisbane Broncos (14) v Canberra Raiders (6) Fri 17 Mar 12:00AM at QEII Stadium (Crowd: 27506) Auckland Warriors (8) v St George Illawarra Dragons (36) Sat 18 Mar 12:00AM at Mt Smart (Crowd: 11217) Melbourne Storm (16) v Parramatta Eels (12) Sat 18 Mar 12:00AM at Olympic Park (Crowd: 15684) Northern Eagles (30) v Sharks (2) Sat 18 Mar 12:00AM at Lottoland (Crowd: 12228) Bulldogs (8) v North Queensland Cowboys (18) Sun 19 Mar 12:00AM at ANZ Stadium (Crowd: 6572) Penrith Panthers (10) v Newcastle Knights (30) Sun 19 Mar 12:00AM at Penrith Park (Crowd: 12154) Sydney Roosters (35) v Wests Tigers (6) Sun 19 Mar 12:00AM at Allianz Stadium (Crowd: 13519)
Newcastle Knights (18) v St George Illawarra Dragons (25) Fri 24 Mar 12:00AM at McDonald Jones Stadium (Crowd: 12842) Canberra Raiders (30) v Penrith Panthers (6) Sat 25 Mar 12:00AM at Bruce Stadium (Crowd: 11044) North Queensland Cowboys (50) v Northern Eagles (10) Sat 25 Mar 12:00AM at 1300SMILES Stadium (Crowd: 13164) Sharks (26) v Melbourne Storm (14) Sat 25 Mar 12:00AM at PointsBet Stadium (Crowd: 15181) Auckland Warriors (26) v Sydney Roosters (22) Sun 26 Mar 12:00AM at Mt Smart (Crowd: 11125) Brisbane Broncos (24) v Bulldogs (14) Sun 26 Mar 12:00AM at QEII Stadium (Crowd: 21815) Wests Tigers (14) v Parramatta Eels (14) Sun 26 Mar 12:00AM at Leichhardt Oval (Crowd: 14708)
Penrith Panthers (18) v Brisbane Broncos (2) Fri 31 Mar 12:00AM at Penrith Park (Crowd: 15290) Parramatta Eels (24) v Auckland Warriors (22) Sat 1 Apr 12:00AM at Pirtek Stadium (Crowd: 12026) Sharks (12) v Wests Tigers (16) Sat 1 Apr 12:00AM at PointsBet Stadium (Crowd: 13137) Melbourne Storm (28) v North Queensland Cowboys (6) Sat 1 Apr 12:00AM at Olympic Park (Crowd: 13697) Bulldogs (22) v Northern Eagles (14) Sun 2 Apr 12:00AM at ANZ Stadium (Crowd: 10116) St George Illawarra Dragons (24) v Canberra Raiders (18) Sun 2 Apr 12:00AM at Allianz Stadium (Crowd: 9812) Sydney Roosters (20) v Newcastle Knights (18) Mon 3 Apr 12:00AM at Allianz Stadium (Crowd: 13055)
Brisbane Broncos (18) v Melbourne Storm (18) Fri 7 Apr 12:00AM at QEII Stadium (Crowd: 29849) Bulldogs (18) v Auckland Warriors (18) Sat 8 Apr 12:00AM at ANZ Stadium (Crowd: 7132) Northern Eagles (10) v Wests Tigers (18) Sat 8 Apr 12:00AM at Central Coast Stadium (Crowd: 19882) Parramatta Eels (14) v Penrith Panthers (12) Sat 8 Apr 12:00AM at Pirtek Stadium (Crowd: 16142) Canberra Raiders (24) v Sharks (18) Sun 9 Apr 12:00AM at Bruce Stadium (Crowd: 12612) Newcastle Knights (28) v North Queensland Cowboys (6) Sun 9 Apr 12:00AM at McDonald Jones Stadium (Crowd: 19210) St George Illawarra Dragons (24) v Sydney Roosters (20) Sun 9 Apr 12:00AM at WIN Stadium (Crowd: 13221)
Sharks (42) v Newcastle Knights (16) Fri 14 Apr 12:00AM at PointsBet Stadium (Crowd: 13206) Melbourne Storm (44) v Northern Eagles (18) Sat 15 Apr 12:00AM at Olympic Park (Crowd: 14574) North Queensland Cowboys (12) v Auckland Warriors (18) Sat 15 Apr 12:00AM at 1300SMILES Stadium (Crowd: 13557) Penrith Panthers (22) v Sydney Roosters (30) Sat 15 Apr 12:00AM at Penrith Park (Crowd: 10579) Brisbane Broncos (34) v St George Illawarra Dragons (18) Sun 16 Apr 12:00AM at QEII Stadium (Crowd: 22190) Canberra Raiders (2) v Parramatta Eels (14) Sun 16 Apr 12:00AM at Bruce Stadium (Crowd: 11600) Wests Tigers (14) v Bulldogs (22) Sun 16 Apr 12:00AM at Campbelltown Stadium (Crowd: 18119)
St George Illawarra Dragons (28) v Penrith Panthers (20) Sat 22 Apr 12:00AM at Allianz Stadium (Crowd: 8849) Wests Tigers (8) v North Queensland Cowboys (18) Sat 22 Apr 12:00AM at Leichhardt Oval (Crowd: 7517) Newcastle Knights (26) v Parramatta Eels (23) Sun 23 Apr 12:00AM at McDonald Jones Stadium (Crowd: 22396) Northern Eagles (16) v Brisbane Broncos (6) Sun 23 Apr 12:00AM at Lottoland (Crowd: 10781) Auckland Warriors (24) v Sharks (20) Mon 24 Apr 12:00AM at Mt Smart (Crowd: 12286) Sydney Roosters (21) v Canberra Raiders (14) Mon 24 Apr 12:00AM at Allianz Stadium (Crowd: 11664) Bulldogs (22) v Melbourne Storm (44) Tue 25 Apr 12:00AM at ANZ Stadium (Crowd: 15137)
Brisbane Broncos (28) v Parramatta Eels (6) Fri 28 Apr 12:00AM at QEII Stadium (Crowd: 20208) Auckland Warriors (4) v Wests Tigers (30) Sat 29 Apr 12:00AM at Mt Smart (Crowd: 12560) North Queensland Cowboys (50) v St George Illawarra Dragons (4) Sat 29 Apr 12:00AM at 1300SMILES Stadium (Crowd: 13768) Northern Eagles (18) v Canberra Raiders (16) Sat 29 Apr 12:00AM at Central Coast Stadium (Crowd: 13792) Melbourne Storm (40) v Newcastle Knights (4) Sun 30 Apr 12:00AM at Olympic Park (Crowd: 13389) Penrith Panthers (12) v Bulldogs (16) Sun 30 Apr 12:00AM at Penrith Park (Crowd: 11684) Sydney Roosters (16) v Sharks (14) Sun 30 Apr 12:00AM at Allianz Stadium (Crowd: 12236)
Parramatta Eels (18) v Melbourne Storm (8) Fri 5 May 12:00AM at Pirtek Stadium (Crowd: 10283) North Queensland Cowboys (12) v Bulldogs (32) Sat 6 May 12:00AM at 1300SMILES Stadium (Crowd: 15597) St George Illawarra Dragons (54) v Auckland Warriors (0) Sat 6 May 12:00AM at WIN Stadium (Crowd: 7039) Sharks (28) v Northern Eagles (8) Sat 6 May 12:00AM at PointsBet Stadium (Crowd: 12231) Newcastle Knights (26) v Penrith Panthers (32) Sun 7 May 12:00AM at McDonald Jones Stadium (Crowd: 16447) Wests Tigers (28) v Sydney Roosters (24) Sun 7 May 12:00AM at Campbelltown Stadium (Crowd: 12255) Canberra Raiders (16) v Brisbane Broncos (14) Mon 8 May 12:00AM at Bruce Stadium (Crowd: 12552)
Melbourne Storm (40) v Wests Tigers (10) Fri 12 May 12:00AM at Olympic Park (Crowd: 14230) Bulldogs (24) v Newcastle Knights (30) Sat 13 May 12:00AM at ANZ Stadium (Crowd: 14712) Canberra Raiders (17) v North Queensland Cowboys (10) Sat 13 May 12:00AM at Bruce Stadium (Crowd: 7110) Northern Eagles (14) v Auckland Warriors (18) Sat 13 May 12:00AM at Lottoland (Crowd: 6106) Brisbane Broncos (40) v Sydney Roosters (14) Sun 14 May 12:00AM at QEII Stadium (Crowd: 15577) Parramatta Eels (30) v St George Illawarra Dragons (24) Sun 14 May 12:00AM at Pirtek Stadium (Crowd: 14135) Sharks (26) v Penrith Panthers (28) Sun 14 May 12:00AM at PointsBet Stadium (Crowd: 8736)
Penrith Panthers (16) v Parramatta Eels (14) Fri 19 May 12:00AM at Penrith Park (Crowd: 18371) Auckland Warriors (24) v Bulldogs (12) Sat 20 May 12:00AM at Mt Smart (Crowd: 11000) Sharks (26) v Canberra Raiders (18) Sat 20 May 12:00AM at PointsBet Stadium (Crowd: 11432) Sydney Roosters (32) v St George Illawarra Dragons (24) Sat 20 May 12:00AM at Allianz Stadium (Crowd: 13285) Melbourne Storm (16) v Brisbane Broncos (12) Sun 21 May 12:00AM at Olympic Park (Crowd: 14054) North Queensland Cowboys (10) v Newcastle Knights (18) Sun 21 May 12:00AM at 1300SMILES Stadium (Crowd: 15738) Wests Tigers (36) v Northern Eagles (18) Sun 21 May 12:00AM at Leichhardt Oval (Crowd: 11346)
Brisbane Broncos (32) v Sharks (4) Fri 26 May 12:00AM at QEII Stadium (Crowd: 19665) Melbourne Storm (20) v Penrith Panthers (23) Sat 27 May 12:00AM at Olympic Park (Crowd: 11156) Newcastle Knights (30) v Auckland Warriors (12) Sat 27 May 12:00AM at McDonald Jones Stadium (Crowd: 13954) North Queensland Cowboys (6) v Parramatta Eels (20) Sat 27 May 12:00AM at 1300SMILES Stadium (Crowd: 12657) Bulldogs (22) v Sydney Roosters (16) Sun 28 May 12:00AM at ANZ Stadium (Crowd: 11247) Canberra Raiders (24) v Wests Tigers (22) Sun 28 May 12:00AM at Bruce Stadium (Crowd: 7384) St George Illawarra Dragons (12) v Northern Eagles (22) Sun 28 May 12:00AM at Allianz Stadium (Crowd: 7693)
Parramatta Eels (25) v Bulldogs (12) Fri 2 Jun 12:00AM at Pirtek Stadium (Crowd: 17130) Auckland Warriors (6) v Canberra Raiders (13) Sat 3 Jun 12:00AM at Mt Smart (Crowd: 9500) Sharks (42) v North Queensland Cowboys (6) Sat 3 Jun 12:00AM at PointsBet Stadium (Crowd: 11101) Newcastle Knights (26) v Brisbane Broncos (22) Sun 4 Jun 12:00AM at McDonald Jones Stadium (Crowd: 21512) Northern Eagles (20) v Sydney Roosters (22) Sun 4 Jun 12:00AM at Central Coast Stadium (Crowd: 14353) Penrith Panthers (32) v Wests Tigers (31) Sun 4 Jun 12:00AM at Penrith Park (Crowd: 16498) St George Illawarra Dragons (50) v Melbourne Storm (4) Sun 4 Jun 12:00AM at WIN Stadium (Crowd: 10141)
Wests Tigers (24) v St George Illawarra Dragons (36) Fri 9 Jun 12:00AM at Campbelltown Stadium (Crowd: 15263) Auckland Warriors (20) v Penrith Panthers (24) Sat 10 Jun 12:00AM at Mt Smart (Crowd: 10305) Brisbane Broncos (26) v North Queensland Cowboys (16) Sat 10 Jun 12:00AM at QEII Stadium (Crowd: 10455) Canberra Raiders (32) v Newcastle Knights (24) Sun 11 Jun 12:00AM at Bruce Stadium (Crowd: 12122) Northern Eagles (12) v Parramatta Eels (24) Sun 11 Jun 12:00AM at Lottoland (Crowd: 9961) Sydney Roosters (41) v Melbourne Storm (6) Sun 11 Jun 12:00AM at Allianz Stadium (Crowd: 10772) Bulldogs (14) v Sharks (26) Mon 12 Jun 12:00AM at ANZ Stadium (Crowd: 13269)
Parramatta Eels (0) v Sydney Roosters (26) Fri 16 Jun 12:00AM at Pirtek Stadium (Crowd: 16215) Bulldogs (14) v Canberra Raiders (16) Sat 17 Jun 12:00AM at ANZ Stadium (Crowd: 10117) Newcastle Knights (52) v Northern Eagles (20) Sat 17 Jun 12:00AM at McDonald Jones Stadium (Crowd: 16543) North Queensland Cowboys (28) v Penrith Panthers (12) Sat 17 Jun 12:00AM at 1300SMILES Stadium (Crowd: 10851) Brisbane Broncos (56) v Wests Tigers (12) Sun 18 Jun 12:00AM at QEII Stadium (Crowd: 19953) Melbourne Storm (56) v Auckland Warriors (10) Sun 18 Jun 12:00AM at Olympic Park (Crowd: 13028) Sharks (40) v St George Illawarra Dragons (10) Sun 18 Jun 12:00AM at PointsBet Stadium (Crowd: 19507)
Bulldogs (18) v Brisbane Broncos (48) Sat 24 Jun 12:00AM at ANZ Stadium (Crowd: 12214) Melbourne Storm (22) v Sharks (16) Sat 24 Jun 12:00AM at Melbourne Cricket Ground (Crowd: 15535) Penrith Panthers (36) v Canberra Raiders (14) Sat 24 Jun 12:00AM at Penrith Park (Crowd: 15240) Sydney Roosters (36) v Auckland Warriors (4) Sat 24 Jun 12:00AM at Allianz Stadium (Crowd: 7286) Northern Eagles (24) v North Queensland Cowboys (12) Sun 25 Jun 12:00AM at Central Coast Stadium (Crowd: 8206) Parramatta Eels (16) v Wests Tigers (18) Sun 25 Jun 12:00AM at Pirtek Stadium (Crowd: 20162) St George Illawarra Dragons (36) v Newcastle Knights (24) Sun 25 Jun 12:00AM at Allianz Stadium (Crowd: 13270)
Auckland Warriors (10) v Parramatta Eels (11) Fri 30 Jun 12:00AM at Mt Smart (Crowd: 9220) Newcastle Knights (46) v Sydney Roosters (12) Fri 30 Jun 12:00AM at McDonald Jones Stadium (Crowd: 15394) Canberra Raiders (20) v St George Illawarra Dragons (30) Sat 1 Jul 12:00AM at Bruce Stadium (Crowd: 14171) North Queensland Cowboys (22) v Melbourne Storm (26) Sat 1 Jul 12:00AM at 1300SMILES Stadium (Crowd: 17192) Wests Tigers (24) v Sharks (22) Sat 1 Jul 12:00AM at Leichhardt Oval (Crowd: 12719) Brisbane Broncos (48) v Penrith Panthers (6) Sun 2 Jul 12:00AM at QEII Stadium (Crowd: 24912) Northern Eagles (30) v Bulldogs (22) Sun 2 Jul 12:00AM at Lottoland (Crowd: 6899)
Parramatta Eels (22) v Newcastle Knights (18) Fri 7 Jul 12:00AM at Pirtek Stadium (Crowd: 17029) Melbourne Storm (22) v Bulldogs (31) Sat 8 Jul 12:00AM at Olympic Park (Crowd: 13120) Penrith Panthers (42) v St George Illawarra Dragons (12) Sat 8 Jul 12:00AM at Penrith Park (Crowd: 19330) Sharks (22) v Auckland Warriors (12) Sat 8 Jul 12:00AM at PointsBet Stadium (Crowd: 10635) Brisbane Broncos (32) v Northern Eagles (22) Sun 9 Jul 12:00AM at QEII Stadium (Crowd: 19282) Canberra Raiders (40) v Sydney Roosters (12) Sun 9 Jul 12:00AM at Bruce Stadium (Crowd: 23603) North Queensland Cowboys (38) v Wests Tigers (26) Sun 9 Jul 12:00AM at 1300SMILES Stadium (Crowd: 14134)
Newcastle Knights (20) v Sharks (16) Fri 14 Jul 12:00AM at McDonald Jones Stadium (Crowd: 25685) Auckland Warriors (44) v North Queensland Cowboys (12) Sat 15 Jul 12:00AM at Mt Smart (Crowd: 8105) Northern Eagles (26) v Melbourne Storm (38) Sat 15 Jul 12:00AM at Central Coast Stadium (Crowd: 13886) Parramatta Eels (48) v Canberra Raiders (10) Sat 15 Jul 12:00AM at Pirtek Stadium (Crowd: 13171) Bulldogs (36) v Wests Tigers (26) Sun 16 Jul 12:00AM at ANZ Stadium (Crowd: 15097) St George Illawarra Dragons (14) v Brisbane Broncos (44) Sun 16 Jul 12:00AM at WIN Stadium (Crowd: 14184) Sydney Roosters (40) v Penrith Panthers (14) Sun 16 Jul 12:00AM at Allianz Stadium (Crowd: 13169)
Melbourne Storm (16) v Canberra Raiders (20) Fri 21 Jul 12:00AM at Olympic Park (Crowd: 14354) Brisbane Broncos (38) v Auckland Warriors (20) Sat 22 Jul 12:00AM at QEII Stadium (Crowd: 17545) North Queensland Cowboys (20) v Sydney Roosters (36) Sat 22 Jul 12:00AM at 1300SMILES Stadium (Crowd: 14894) Penrith Panthers (32) v Northern Eagles (26) Sat 22 Jul 12:00AM at Penrith Park (Crowd: 15255) Bulldogs (10) v St George Illawarra Dragons (28) Sun 23 Jul 12:00AM at ANZ Stadium (Crowd: 21609) Sharks (34) v Parramatta Eels (18) Sun 23 Jul 12:00AM at PointsBet Stadium (Crowd: 21017) Wests Tigers (26) v Newcastle Knights (34) Sun 23 Jul 12:00AM at Campbelltown Stadium (Crowd: 12793)
Sydney Roosters (28) v Brisbane Broncos (0) Fri 28 Jul 12:00AM at Allianz Stadium (Crowd: 22613) North Queensland Cowboys (14) v Canberra Raiders (28) Sat 29 Jul 12:00AM at 1300SMILES Stadium (Crowd: 16553) St George Illawarra Dragons (24) v Parramatta Eels (32) Sat 29 Jul 12:00AM at Allianz Stadium (Crowd: 13317) Wests Tigers (26) v Melbourne Storm (36) Sat 29 Jul 12:00AM at Campbelltown Stadium (Crowd: 8590) Auckland Warriors (32) v Northern Eagles (22) Sun 30 Jul 12:00AM at Mt Smart (Crowd: 13263) Newcastle Knights (28) v Bulldogs (16) Sun 30 Jul 12:00AM at McDonald Jones Stadium (Crowd: 25948) Penrith Panthers (44) v Sharks (6) Sun 30 Jul 12:00AM at Penrith Park (Crowd: 20510)


text:
First-ever EP "Je Ne Veux Pas" now available in digital format!
It all started back in 1998 with the EP Je Ne Veux Pas. Els and Danny, freshly in love, recorded their mutual love for music, electronics, romance and catchy beats and shared it with the world. The CD quickly sold out and even though it was repressed a few years later, it has been unavailable for many years. The title track was re-recorded in 2000 for Vive La Fête's first full lenght album Attaque Surprise, but nothing beats the original version.
The entire Je Ne Veux Pas EP has now been made available in glorious digital format through Bandcamp. Download in your preferred format, either lossless or hi-quality mp3.
adminblog, danny, music, Uncategorizedcd, debut, electro, je ne veux pas, release, vive la fete	Leave a comment


Join the 3 Hos of Ithaca for IH3's 12 Stops of Hashmus!
Deck your balls with all that's festive and jingle your way around town with us as we celebrate the season. Santa is cummin' to town and he's only looking for the naughty hashers!
$10 for all the fun that can fit in your stocking!


to a cuddly stuffed animal, it was easy for Harrison to find it on his own! Easy for moms to find too!
work with the MAM pacifier, one of the top pacifiers sold.
born. He is a twin with my Ava pictured above. We did not leave the house without his pacifier toy!
hospitalization. Low tone and a feeding tube became a part of our life for three years.
perfect way to wean your child at the right time.
It can be washed over and over in your everyday wash load, and thrown in the dryer.


Are Spam Auto Delete & Spam Box mutually exclusive?
Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by smileybri, Dec 17, 2010.
I would like for spam that scores higher than 15 do be automatically deleted. I would like all other tagged messages below 15 down to say 5 to be delivered to the spam box.
There is no indication in the panel, or the documentation if both features can work at the same time. In fact, I have them both enabled and it seems that the auto delete is overriding the spam box on my panel.
It seems 15 is crazy given the scoring system. 10 is the max. I was able to confirm that both work through some testing. These rules work together effectively.


text:
The American Era – Japanese games on the Atari Video Computer System
September 14, 2019 September 15, 2019 D.Lo1 Comment
Until the mid 1980s, console gaming was dominated by the American company Atari, and their home platform the Video Computer System, or VCS for short.
Ports of Atari's own arcade games were the main selling points of the system, alongside Atari's made-for-home efforts and eventually games by the first third party developer, Activision.
The VCS was not officially supported in Japan in the 70s (it was eventually released in 1983 as the 2800, far too late), but was sub-distributed in the country by Epoch, who also had their own line of consoles at the time. Nintendo was still releasing their single game Color TV Game series consoles. Japan was pretty much just a minor regional market in the grand scheme of things.
However, this changed in 1978, when Space Invaders by Taito became the biggest video game hit of all time to that point.
It was so big in Japan that entire arcades opened dedicated to that single game, but it was a huge hit everywhere in the world where games were played. Space Invaders was the start of what would eventually become Japanese dominance of the video game industry.
An 'Invader House' in Japan
It was ported to the VCS in 1980 in the first ever licensing deal, and became the killer app for the system.
It was a decent port that resembled the arcade game well.
And was packed in with every console, leading sales to increase substantially.
From then on, all the biggest games seemed to come from Japan. Nacmo's Puck Man (renamed Pac Man for the west) was the next big name, followed by Nintendo's Donkey Kong.
Another small Japanese firm named Sega were also making a name for themselves too, particularly with racing games like Monaco GP and Turbo. Having previously made mechanical arcade games, Sega games were known for fancy custom arcade hardware.
Steering wheels and sit down cabinets were Sega's calling card.
All these Japanese companies' games made their home debuts on American systems. Pac Man had an infamously bad VCS port which was the start of a downward trajectory for Atari.
Pac Man? Is that you?
Coleco managed to sign up the rights for Donkey Kong and several Sega games for their Colecovision system, but also published them on the VCS. Though the ageing VCS hardware and shoddy ports did not do the games justice.
This was the last time for decades Nintendo and Sega games were officially published on the same platform, though some of Sega's games turned up on Nintendo platforms in roundabout ways, such as Sunsoft's publishing of some Sega games on the Famicom.
And thanks to Nintendo taking over Japan and then the world with the Famicom/NES, and then Nintendo or Sony winning every generation since, to this day Japanese consoles have dominated. Though admittedly western software has regained sales dominance worldwide in the last decade.
One final interesting note is that due to some licensing deals of the era, a Nintendo game was released on Atari VCS that never saw a release elsewhere. A 1981 Nintendo game called Sky Skipper was never released in arcades following poor reviews in location testing.
But a port by Parker Brothers made its way onto Atari's system.
The port is not too bad, considering the hardware.
Sky Skipper was never released or ported to any other platform for 35 years, until it was finally released as part of the Arcade Archives series on Nintendo Switch in 2018.
Shortly after release of Sky Skipper on Nintendo Switch, I was #8 in the world on the high score table. I'm sure scores have exploded since then…
Atari, Coleco, History, Nintendo, Sega70s, 80s, History, Nintendo, Sega
Epoch Super Cassette Vision (スーパーカセットビジョン)
May 5, 2019 D.LoLeave a comment
Before the Family Computer took over the world, the biggest name in Japanese console games was Epoch. Similar to Nintendo's Color TV line, Epoch created a series of consoles that played a single game (Space Invaders clones, Baseball etc), and in 1981 the company spun off that hardware design into a cartridge based console, the Cassette Vision.
The original Cassette Vision console
The Cassette Vision did decently enough, but in 1983 arcade players Nintendo and Sega had entered the space with the Family Computer and SG1000, which were both selling well (very well in Nintendo's case). So Epoch joined the next generation with the Super Cassette Vision. It's a very interesting machine because it straddles the line between the generations of that era.
The console design itself bears several marks of the transitional nature of the industry at the time. At first it looks like a controller-less unit, but they're hidden behind the front panel.
Like all Japanese consoles of the era, the controller cords are attached to the console, but the console has slots to store them much like the Famicom. The SG1000 II and Mark III also followed this Famicom design cue.
They fold out to reveal what are essentially a much better version of the SG1000 controller, itself a cut down version of the Colecovision controller. What makes them better are they use Game & Watch/Famicom style rubber membranes internally for buttons and stick directions, as opposed to the bending metal leaf connectors of Atari/Coleco/SG1000 controllers.
Ironically, Nntendo had the exact same idea in 1984, with their Micro Vs System game & Watch design.
The top of the console features a number pad for selecting game modes etc, which is very reminiscent of the Intellivision and Colecovision's number pads, though it's much better having them on the console, making the controllers more compact and comfortable. Similar to the SG1000 and Mark III, there is no start button on the pads, but a pause button on the console itself.
One thing that sets the console apart from others of the era is that it supports RGB-out right from the console. While unlikely to have been used by most customers of the era, today it makes it very easy to get great quality output.
Photograph of the game on my LCD via the Framemeister
In terms of power, it's an odd one. The games have a very stable, sharp graphical presentation, with no flicker (Epoch boasts right on the console that it can handle 128 sprites at once), good bright colours, and decent quality sprites.
On that metric, it had the best quality graphics of any console until the PC Engine. But the system is still clearly in the Intellivision/Colecovision era in what it can handle. Backgrounds are always flat colour (or black), there is barely any scrolling and games are either simple, or slow, with little going on. Sound wide it's probably about the same as the SG1000/Mark III, which is to say far below the Famicom.
But it's a unique piece of hardware due to this dichotomy between such clean, solid presentation (especially via RGB) and more primitive style games, and it feels a lot like an 80s microcomputer, like the MSX.
Just like the Famicom, games came in cardboard boxes, with a little manual.
Taking another cue from Nintendo, they were on colourful cartridges, allowing quick selection of the game you want to play.
Short and stubby but with an end label, they're a hybrid shape between the 'cassette' like shape of the Famicom and the long Atari style of the Sega carts of the era.
The front of each game cart shows a quick control reference for that game, which is nice.
Pop & Chips is an interesting cart, as it features saving via battery backup. instead of using permanent internal batteries like Nintendo games started to use in the later 80s, the cart simply has a slot for AAs.
Those character designs on Pop & Chips may seem familiar. they look very much like characters from Taito's Chack'n'Pop (the 1983 'prequel' to Bubble Bobble). It plays somewhat like Lode Runner however.
Along those lines, Epoch were not averse to ripping off other games to support their system. As seen above in the RGB screenshot, Astro Wars explicitly states it's a Space Invaders derivative, though being much more advanced it feels more like Galaga, as does its sequel.
But some other 'familiar' names pop up too.
Wheelie Racer is a version of Data East's Bump 'n' Jump/Burnin' Rubber/Buggy Popper
Comic Circus is a limited take on Konami's Circus Charlie with a bit of Sega's Carnival.
And Elevator Fight a loose take on Taito's Elevator Action.
I have no idea what Ton Ton Ball is based on, if anything.
There were some licensed official releases of games too. Marked clearly as being 'From USA' there was an officially licensed release of First Star Software's Boulder Dash.
Other notable releases are games based on licences. There was a Lupin the Third game, a Doremon game, and the first ever Dragonball game.
The Super Cassette Vision faded pretty quickly after the Famicom started taking over Japan. It got a small licensed release in France, but didn't appear anywhere else in the world. Epoch returned to its traditional strengths as a toymaker, and in 1985 created the Sylvanian Families animal dolls toy line that was incredibly successful and continues to this day. One neat link between the product lines is Epoch makes consoles for the Sylvanian Families playsets as well as various gacha toys, including this mini Super Cassette Vision (and mini TV playing Pop & Chips)
Super Cassette Vision Advertisement
Epoch, History, Super Cassette Vision80s, Design, Epoch, History, Japan, Super Cassette Vision
First Edition Black Stripe/'Germany' model Sega SG-1000 (エスジー・セン)
March 22, 2019 D.Lo1 Comment
A while ago I got something rather special, the original 'Black Stripe' edition of the Sega SG1000. It's also known as the 'Germany' model since it features a front panel with three colours that match the German flag.
This machine is somewhat analogous to the first edition square buttons Famicom model, in that it was the first ever model of the first Sega console, produced as a short initial run, but was quickly replaced by a revised model which became more ubiquitous. As such the majority of original SG1000 consoles feature the revised red/blue colour motif matching the blue Sega logo.
This one was in pretty rough shape physically, and was sold as 'untested'. But it powered up fine.
And it booted and played a game perfectly the first time!
It obviously needed a good cleaning. For comparison here it was lined up with my restored square buttons Famicom.
On a side note, now that I have both true first edition models I should probably revise my 1983 Nintendo/Sega Face off article.
So I set out to restore it visually in the usual way.
In the meantime, I inspected the board and found something interesting.
It's such an early model, Sega was revising the PCBs by hand! Later revisions had these trace fixes integrated into the PCB.
And here's the restored console.
The label on the controller has seen better days.
But the main unit is now in pretty nice condition.
Finally, some glamour shots with its younger brother.
History, Sega, SG 100080s, Sega, SG 1000, Yellowed console
1969 Nintendo Electronic Love Tester (ラブテスター)
February 10, 2019 D.LoLeave a comment
The 1969 Electronic Love Tester is Nintendo's first electronic toy. Designed by Nintendo legend Gunpei Yokoi (the man who sent Nintendo into toys with the Ultra Hand and later created the Game & Watch and Game Boy), it's a novelty device 'for young ladies and men' that alleges to test the 'love' between a couple by measuring their electrical conductivity.
It's presented in a box with oh-so 60s styling, and comes with the device, instructions, and faux-leather carry case.
The instructions show how to play and how to set it up. It's powered by a single AA battery.
It is possibly the most 60s looking toy ever made, right out of The Jetsons. This one still has the original metal ties for the cords. The cords are a bit stiff after over fifty years, as is the vinyl case.
The cords unwind and couples take one sensor each in hand, and hold hands with their other to get a reading.
To change the battery and access the internals, it's much like an old transistor radio from the same era, and requires removing the back plate via a single screw. Internally it's very simple of course.
The Love Tester makes a cameo appearance in the Gamecube and Wii game Pikmin 2, described by Captain Olimar as a 'Prototype Detector'.
And like many of the older Nintendo products, appears in the WarioWare series, as a souvenir in WarioWare Twisted on Game Boy Advance, and as a minigame in WarioWare Gold on 3DS.
There was also a 2010 re-release, which came in a recreation of the original box. You can tell the new one by the additions to the box design.
History, Nintendo, Vintage Nintendo Toys60s, History, Nintendo
GG-WHITE – The Rare White Sega Game Gear (セガゲームギア)
February 9, 2019 February 10, 2019 D.LoLeave a comment
Here is a quite rare and valuable item, the GG-WHITE set. They were not sold and were only given to Sega employees or developers, according to Sega Retro.
It comes in a custom case with matching accessories.
Including of course a Japanese TV Tuner.
Unfortunately this one doesn't work, and needs to be recapped like most Game Gears.
My go-to is the red model, which was one of the last releases in Japan and used better capacitors, so still works fine.
Well, as fine as a Game Gear ever did…
But it's pretty nice to have put all the white Sega consoles together! Though I forgot my SG1000s for this picture…
Game Gear, History, Sega90s, History, Sega
Nintendo Ultra Machine (ウルトラ マシン)
January 6, 2019 February 9, 2019 D.LoLeave a comment
One of the famous Nintendo 'Ultra' line toys, the Nintendo 1967 Ultra Machine (ウルトラ マシン) forms part of Nintendo's transition between card manufacturing to toys in the 60s and 70s.
As may be obvious from the box art, it's an automatic baseball pitching machine.
It of course comes semi-assembled so as to fit in the box, the packable design and packaging layout is particularly elegant.
Fully assembled, with Nintendo branded bat.
A line up of included plastic balls (with slight shape variations to affect their trajectory) collect in the basket, and fall one by one into position for the flicking mechanism.
Speed selection
Here on the battery compartment is the first ever instance of the modern Nintendo logo appearing on a product. It hasn't yet got the 'racetrack' border, but sits inside a squashed hexagon.
It's one of those 'what you see is what you get' kind of products. The motor doesn't work in mine but you can manually set a ball to be launched, and it throws the balls quite well.
The Ultra Machine has made several guest appearances in Nintendo video games in the years since, most often in the Warioware series
But more recently in Splatoon 2, where a jury-rigged Ultra Machine serves as a bomb launcher.
History, Nintendo, Vintage Nintendo Toys70s, Design, History, Nintendo


text:
Q: Javascript Global Reference Error I got this question in an interview and I am curious as to why the two output different things:
(function() {
    console.log(bar);
    console.log(baz);
    foo();

    function foo() {
        console.log('aloha');
    }

    var bar = 2;
    baz = 3;
})();

ouputs:
undefined
Uncaught ReferenceError: baz is not defined

whereas:
(function() {
    console.log(bar);
    console.log(window.baz);
    foo();

    function foo() {
        console.log('aloha');
    }

    var bar = 2;
    baz = 3;
})();

outputs:
undefined
undefined
'aloha'

what is the difference in the way that baz and window.baz are referenced? I though globals were automatically attached to window?

A:
A ReferenceError indicates that an invalid reference value has been detected (ECMA 5 15.11.6.3)
In practical terms, this means a ReferenceError will be thrown when JavaScript attempts to get the value of an unresolvable
  reference. (There are other cases where a ReferenceError will be
  thrown, most notably when running in ECMA 5 Strict mode. If you're
  interested check the reading list at the end of this article)

For further reading take a look here.

A: Because function definitions are evaluated before execution, variable assignment expressions are not.

A: This is because console.log(window.baz); is trying to find the variable inside window object where as console.log(baz) is trying to get a standalone variable, which is not defined yet.

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaStackExchange


With the help of WebResolve you can enter the IP address and get the mane of the website. You can also enter the website name and obtain the IP address. WebResolve is a simple ASP Com script and easy to install.
This is an ASP component which is useful for the web users to find Domain name using IP address and to find IP address using domain name alternatively. It has very simple source code and it is easy to use and install.
dDNS resolve IP addresses or perform reverse-lookups on IP addresses. dDNS is an server-side component. It is called from an ASP page or VB application or any other language that permits making call to an ActiveX DLL.


text:
extern crate parser_combinators;
use parser_combinators::ParseError;

mod parser;
mod calculator;

pub fn calc(input: &str) -> Result<f64, ParseError<char>> {
    // Parses the input string to an expression tree
    let result: Result<(parser::Expr, &str), ParseError<char>> = parser::parse(input);
    match result {
        // If successful, the expression tree is evaluated and the result returned
        Ok((expression_tree, ignored)) => {
            // The parser will fail if the input does not start with a valid expression,
            // but if the expression contains invalid input that does not result in an
            // invalid expression being parsed up to that point, it will be ignored, and
            // we get it back here to be printed to the user so they are aware of what happened.
            match ignored {
                "" => (),
                _  => println!("Ignored extraneous input: {}", ignored)
            }
            Ok(calculator::evaluate(&expression_tree))
        }
        Err(e) => Err(e)
    }
}

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub


Two of the key forwards for the PNG Hunters – brothers Wellington Albert and Stanton Albert – have an extra reason to look forward to tomorrow's Intrust Super Championship game against Penrith Panthers.
The prop forwards spent the last few seasons with the NSW club, only returning to PNG this year to help guide the team to Intrust Super Cup success.
Speaking to QRL Media following the captain's run; the brothers said they had been enjoying the experience of winning the Queensland competition which earned them a return trip to Sydney.
While they will be rivals on the field for the game at ANZ Stadium tomorrow; the siblings said they would be seeking out their former friends after the game to share stories.
Off camera, the brothers were keen to stress how thankful they were for their time with the Penrith Panthers club, with Wellington saying he had learned a lot from the staff at the club.


This mezuzah spans the distance from the heavens to earth. The primary element of this piece is the tree of life, crowned with Swarovski crystals and anchored by roots reaching to the bottom of the mezuzah. The tree of life is a prominent symbol in Judaism, representing the study of Torah as well as the roots of Jewish heritage. This artist uses an eclectic mix of materials that catches the eye. Beads, crystals, glass, and small patterned bands of metal are all enclosed under a protective layer of resin and arranged tastefully within the steel frame. The brass tube with rubber stoppers on the back provides a safe place for the claf.