text:
Touring The Great Land
Dome training
The first thing we did in Alaska was take the train to Denali. Denali is a huge national park surrounding the tallest mountain on the North American continent. The Alaskan Railroad runs by it, and offers the tourist an opportunity to pay a lot of money to sit in a dome car and watch bears and moose scamper by the tracks during the journey north, which we did.
We wanted to take an airplane fight around the mountain, but the tour company said all we would see there was fog, so mostly we ate, drank and souvenir-shopped. For two days, we tried to get a glimpse of the mountain, to no result. The souvenir shops were full of t-shirts that read "I Saw Denali." They weren't selling particularly well.
Denali was called Mt. McKinley when I was young, but its name was changed by both the state and the federal governments some time back to the original Native Alaskan name for it, which literally means "The Great One," or "The Tall One." Giving stuff creative names is one area where indigenous peoples fall short, obviously.
I settled for buying a t-shirt that read "Alaska--The Great Land," because most of the other ones read "Alaska--Founded 1959," and I don't like to be reminded that I am older than some states.
We hopped another dome car back to Anchorage, where we planned to rent a car and drive down to Seward. Renting the car was the most annoying experience of the trip. I had booked a room right by the airport, where the rental cars live, but after a quick Uber jaunt there, I discovered the line at the Avis counter was a dozen deep and there was only one clerk processing the rental agreements. She was tied up with a middle-aged gay couple who apparently viewed the car-rental process with deep suspicion, because there were a great many time-consuming questions asked and several consultative phone calls made by them before they reluctantly agreed to take a car. Seriously, I have watched people get legally married in less time.
When it was finally my turn at the counter, I tossed my license and credit card on the counter briskly, intending to impress the counter person with the fact that I was intimately familiar with the car rental process and wanted it to proceed quickly. This did not cut me much slack with Avis. I was informed that because I was early for my appointment, I would not get the cozy little economy car I had reserved, but would have to be upgraded to a full-size sedan, for a few hundred dollars more. Knowing my credit cards were already radiating from the first four days of the trip, I agreed without much argument, and went down into the Avis basement to procure my wheels.
They brought up a brand-new Chevy Impala, which unfortunately was not full of gas. Anyone who has ever rented a car knows that accepting one that doesn't have a full tank of gas is a bigger mistake than test-firing your pepper spray indoors.
"Hey," I said to the basement counter guy, "This car is only three-quarters full."
He looked to be a Native Alaskan, as was the other guy behind the counter. They immediately agreed the car needed filling up, and cheerfully informed me they wouldn't be doing it—I would have to wait for the "detailer," who was no doubt responsible for failing to gas up my ride in the first place, to do it. "Five minutes," they lied.
Forty-five minutes later I was still standing on the curb, thinking to myself "I've only been here four days, and already I hate these goddamn Eskimos."
Which only proves that my default mode, like most other people's, is racism.
When my car was finally filled and ready, I got behind the wheel and realized that it had way more bells and whistles than you could find at a Bells and Whistles R Us outlet store. It was like me getting a brand-new and extremely more complicated cell phone than my last one, except I had to drive it. An alarm tone kept going off, causing me to stop and check the doors and trunk several times before I realized that the tone was sounding every time the car crossed a line on the road. It had a little camera that spotted the wheels touching any line, from the shoulder to the center divider. It bonged every time I changed lanes.
I don't need a car that tells me I'm swerving all over the road—I have a woman for that—but I didn't want to waste precious vacation moments trying to figure out how disable the feature, so the car just bonged all the way to Seward, which was a pretty ride to a pretty town where you can get delicious if somewhat pricey seafood for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Unfortunately, we had both been exposed to a nasty upper-respiratory virus in Denali, which eventually landed my Significant Other in the hospital with pneumonia, because she likes to max out every illness she contracts. It hit us pretty hard on the last day of our trip, so we were mighty feverish when our flight took off from Anchorage the next morning. The pilot warned us that we might see Denali after we climbed to cruising altitude, and sure enough, after a few minutes, he babbled excitedly, "There it is! There's Denali! On the left side of the plane!"
We were on the right side of the plane, of course, and had to look for the mountain across the cabin and out the windows of the passengers on the other side, who were not being helpful by whipping out their cell phones for pics of the Great One. It's also a snow-capped mountain situated in a mass of white clouds, not making it the easiest thing to pick out of the background.
And I was sick. But I guess I saw it. Should have bought the other t-shirt.
The Last Frontier*
An Alaskan bar, well-settled into the hill. In Alaska, the permafrost is boss.
We went to Alaska this summer. It was my Significant Other's idea. We had cruised Alaska before, but this time we decided to go it alone, not wanting to be herded down the gangplanks again with a horde of other tourists so stuffed with cruise ship food that they were barely able to walk to the bar on the dock. We wanted to see the real Alaska.
Real Alaska is really beautiful, but Alaska is really serious about three things: 1. Prices for stuff that border on the whimsical. 2. Booze. 3. Bears.
I saw a sign at Exit Glacier, which, summarized, said "If you are attacked by a black bear, fight back. If you are attacked by a grizzly bear, play dead, unless the bear starts to eat you, then fight back."
That's a lot of stuff to remember in those trenchant moments when you are being attacked by a bear, in my opinion. First off, you have to decide what species the angry mass of teeth and claws that is rushing out of the pines to devour you belongs to. Second, if you are being attacked by a grizzly bear, you have to be sensitive to the moment when it decides you are not just an intruder that needs to be pulped, but a tasty treat that happened to be wandering in the woods, at which point you need to become the snack that fights back.
How you "fight" a thousand-pound animal is left deliberately vague, in my opinion, by bear warning signs. You are left to your own martial arts preferences in a bear fight. Possibly you have MME caliber skills. Conversely, maybe you are just barely capable of looking for an opening to kick your opponent in the genitals. Fortunately for you, the attackee, your personal fighting skills are not likely to have much effect on the decision, which is always made by the bear.
If you are worried about bears attacking you to the point of anxiety, there is always alcohol to ease your dread, provided you don't give any to minors. The penalty for doing so on the Last Frontier is 5 years in state prison. So, for giving a can of beer to a twenty-year-old in Alaska, you can serve a prison term that many states would regard as adequate for manslaughter.
Fortunately, we didn't know any minors in Alaska, but I still got in trouble buying beer. First, no matter how old you appear to be, anytime you buy alcohol there, you get carded. I can assure you that liquor store clerks in Anchorage do not appreciate it if you respond "You're shitting me, right?" when they ask for ID. Also, there is a special counter where you must purchase your beer, due to the hushed, sinful nature of the transaction. Simply dumping your sixer on the regular counter where you buy jerky and Doritos will earn you some stinkeye from the convenience store worker.
All this is because Alaska has a problem with Native Alaskans drinking too much because they have an inherited disposition toward severe alcoholism. How carding people nearly old enough for Medicare, and putting guys who give wine coolers to their underaged dates in the slam for five years, solves this problem is something you'll have to ask Juneau.
I thought I was ready for Alaska prices, because I lived in Hawaii for nine years, where gouging tourists is how we made our living, but the price of stuff in Alaska is even more random. If you are not fully awake by the time you finish your bacon and eggs in Alaska, you will be jolted to full alertness when you realize you are going to pay fifty bucks for them. Alaskans only have about four months a year to clean out tourist's wallets, whereas in Hawaii we had all year round. Alaskans have to be more serious about it. And they are.
In Hawaii, if you live there, you are considered kama'aina, which is a beautiful old Hawaiian word which means "Fuck the tourists," and you get lower prices on everything than malahinis, or visitors. As far as I could tell, Alaska does not have a similar practice. If it does, the locals kept it on the down-low from me.
Looks like I've reached my word limit for the day, and I haven't even gotten out of Anchorage, so this column will have to have a Part II.
*Not to be confused with the Final Frontier. That's Star Trek.
Steve Bannon's White House Diary, Part II
The wheels come off
More excerpts from Bannon's recently uncovered confidential journal. For Part One, click here.
JULY 13TH: Donny Jr's in the woodshed, for spilling the emails about meeting with the Russians. The Boss ordered that Junior's collection of preserved animal heads be tossed off the top floor of Trump Tower. Jared the Jew is in trouble too, even though he claimed he stumbled into the meeting "accidentally" when he had really just left his office to grab an Orange Julius. Prebunk was found in a closet he had locked from the inside. Turned out he had been there three days, licking the polish off his shoes for nourishment.
JULY 21ST: The Mooch is coming! The Boss says he wants someone who looks good on TV to be his communications director. Was that a personal shot at me? Sean Spicer has already left the building—he's never forgiven Scaramucci for that time the Mooch got wasted on 'ludes and tried out his moves on Mrs. Spicer. I gave the Mooch a "welcome" present of half an ounce of Peruvian snow and a bottle of Fireball, and told him a friend of mine at the New Yorker would love to have a phone chat with him. After he railed out most of the bag on my desk and snorted it, he took a couple swigs of Fireball and wrote down the number. Doubt he'll last a week.
JULY 25TH: The Boss left his Twitter phone on my desk, so I banned transgendered troops. He'll never notice.
JULY 26TH: Suck my own WHAT? If I could do that, I probably wouldn't have had time to invent the alt-right.
JULY 27TH: Ding, dong, the witch is dead. Rinse has gone down the drain. I just wish he could take McConnell and McCain with him. The new Chief of Staff is John Kelly. First thing he did was shitcan the Mooch. The Boss let him get away with it, although he confided to me that he liked having the Mooch around because he was a "bigger public embarrassment than almost anybody." I think he meant himself. Tried to show him how to work spellcheck on Twitter again, but he lost interest when Hope Hicks came in wearing nothing but heels and holding a folder marked "Top Secret" over her hoochie.
I can handle this guy Kelly. Screw his years of service, his air of command, and the fact he always talks in complete sentences. I'm Steve Bannon. The Boss wouldn't have won the election without me. And don't mention the Russians or Comey. They wouldn't have made any difference if I hadn't masterminded my way into the scared hearts of white America. It was my special genius that made me realize they were just like me--they don't like colored people.
AUGUST 7TH: The Boss bravely sticks up for my storm troopers in Charlotte. It took guts for him to equate Nazis and Klansmen with the counter protesters. Guts, and perhaps the realization that 100% of the tiki-torch crowd had voted for him, while 100% of the femmies and gays on the other side hadn't. It's my political acumen that's made me indispensable. Kelly's just fantasizing when he points his finger at me and makes that "pew-pew-pew" sound. Just to piss him off, I made Fridays Baggy Shorts and Mismatched Hawaiian Shirt Day for my crew. Maybe Kelly will at least unbutton his jacket.
AUGUST 10TH: War with Venezuela? Me likee. Let's face it, where are we standing in our wars against Asians? I think it's one win, one loss, and one tie. Contrast that to our uninterrupted record of military glory against Spanish-speaking nations. And it would distract people from The Boss thanking the Russians for 86-ing all our diplomats. Of course he was joking! Can't people tell when he's making a funny? Al Franken called over here, offering to give The Boss sarcasm lessons. I think he was being sarcastic.
AUGUST 17TH: It's come to this. Everybody is bailing on The Boss, including all his country-club pals on his advisory boards, so why fire me? I've always been willing to stick around. I won't say comparing Robert E. Lee to George Washington was my idea, because it wasn't. I suggested that The Boss tweet something like "What would make those femgays happy? Tearing down every statue of a white man in this country, including Jesus?"
It's Kelly, of course. Well, not everybody can have a perfect complexion, or a spotless war record, asshole. I'm going back to my perch at Breitbart, loosen my belt, maybe smoke a sherm, and get to work making sure you don't last until the end of the year. Got a couple pics of your uniformed ass with Clinton and Obama right here in the old file drawer.
What comes around, goes around.
Steve Bannon's White House Diary
Nighty nighty, alty-righty
Found! He left it in his desk when he got fired! The most titillating excerpts right here!
JANUARY 20TH: The big day! Got a plaque that says White House Chief Strategist on my desk. Reince Priebus comes by to wave an even bigger plaque that says "Chief of Staff." Says to me "I can't decide if your office ought to be this close to the Oval one." I say, "I can't decide whether to make fun of your stupid first name or your ridiculous surname, Preeby-Boy."
JANUARY 21ST: Spicer gets himself in trouble by chopping short the line I gave him about the size of The Boss's Inauguration crowd, which was "It was way bigger than Obama's if you don't count the black people."
FEBRUARY 13th: Mikey Flynn is gone, for lying to Pence. A pall settles over the West Wing, since we've all been lying to Pence. That holy roller still thinks The Boss doesn't keep three abortionists on speed dial, just in case. The Boss has our back, says he'll fire Pence. Preebuncus is the one who has to tell him he can't. I let The Boss know Rinse was the one responsible for not telling him that before Pence was hired. Later, see him slinking back from the Oval Office spitting soap into his hankie.
MARCH 21st: First day of spring, so I'm working barefoot. Just so people don't accuse me of goofing off, I write "Fuck NATO" on my toes with a Sharpie.
APRIL 22ND: A sturdy, hetero, white nationalist male like myself naturally gravitates to thoughts of love when the trees start to bud, and I've managed to keep my hands off Kellyanne, even though everybody knows she's into "alternative dick," because I hear the only thing she is ever truthful about is comparative penis size. Waited until I thought Ivanka might be in the mood, and whispered, "You know, you're not really a Jew," in her ear, thinking she might appreciate that, but no dice. Settled for a booty call from Sarah Huckabee Sanders. The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin,' as my Boy Scout leader used to tell us back when I belonged to Troop 88. Pulled out of her like she was the Paris Climate Agreement at the last second, so if she's missed any periods, blame ol' Preebung.
MAY 9TH: The Boss finally takes my advice and fires that prick Comey. Never mind that he practically won the election for you, I always said. You can't trust a guy that only owns shirts in one color.
MAY 17TH: And now we've got Comey's clone on our asses! The only difference between the two is that Mueller more closely resembles a basset hound! The Boss went ballistic—literally, as he started punching random buttons on the nuclear "football" while foaming at the mouth. Luckily, someone distracted him by waving a pair of "Melania's panties," in front of his nose, and grabbed the "football" away from him. Jeffie Sessions is up to his Spock ears in doo-doo. The reason the Sesh hates black guys so much is that he's hung like a roll of Tums himself, according to Kellyanne. Later The Boss remembered that Melania doesn't wear panties, and he broke all four TV's in his bedroom.
MAY 18TH: Mueller calls me up to introduce himself, referring to himself as "Special Counsel Mueller." "Isn't 'special' another word for 'retarded?" I said back. Humor is so important in maintaining relationships. "By the way," I added, "I always start my fireplace log burning using shredded documents for kindling. You know, for the sake of the environment. So don't send any subpoenas to me, 'cause you know what I'll do with them."
Hope I don't have to carry out that threat. I don't think they print subpoenas on very soft paper.
Bernie Sanders Was the Man on the Grassy Knoll
Hello, Mary Lou
Well, you think I'd have plenty to write about this week, and with Guam under the gun, Venezuela on the national to-invade list and Trump refusing to endorse regular folk over regular Nazis, you're right. However, myself and my S.O. came back from vacation with the flu, and she chose to max it out by getting pneumonia and getting herself tossed in the hospital, so not today. Hope you enjoy this bit of old fake news.
Hello, Internet surfers and welcome to the fact-checking page of rightwingnut.org, where all political statements are checked ruthlessly for rigid adherence to the truth.
Today we review Facebook posts by Mary Lou Bruner, who is poised to become a member of the Texas State Board of Education. We were proud to support Mary Lou's campaign, and still endorse her, but after checking some of her Facebook posts for strict accuracy, we noticed several misstatements.
For example, in one post, Mary Lou claims "Obama has a soft spot for homosexuals because of the years he spent as a male prostitute in his twenties... That is how he paid for his drugs."
We rate this statement as half-true. Obama worked his way through Harvard as a male prostitute, performing unnatural acts for cash with members of the liberal elite who had graduated and started writing the gay agenda. He in fact supported his drug habit by dealing drugs in elementary schoolyards in Chicago.
Mary Lou also said "Many people believe the Democrat Party had JFK killed because the socialists and Communists in the party did not want a conservative president."
This is unquestionably true, but what Mary Lou failed to reveal is that the mysterious second gunman, generally referred to as "the man on the grassy knoll" on that fateful Dallas day was none other than former Democratic Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders. At the time, the young Sanders was known to be a decent shot. For a Jew.
In her reading of history, Mary Lou was spot on. "Slavery is not the Reason for the Civil War…Historians waited until all of the people who were alive during the Civil War and the Restoration were dead of old age. THEN HISTORIANS WROTE THE HISTORY BOOKS TO TELL THE STORY THE WAY THEY WANTED IT TOLD."
We rate this statement true. To this day, few people are aware that all of the Confederate states were preparing to free their slaves and give them all cash, land and farm animals or else a free boat ride back to Africa, when the Union brutally invaded Dixie on a quest to prevent emancipation. It is also not generally known that the Gettysburg Address was originally composed by General Robert E. Lee. A copy of it was found by Union soldiers on the battlefield. They gave it to the scoundrel Lincoln, and he promptly plagiarized it.
Mary Lou weighs in on the biggest lie ever told but again, disappoints when she fails to reveal the whole story: "Climate change has nothing to do with weather or climate, it is all about system change from capitalism (free enterprise) to Socialism-Communism. The Climate Change HOAX was Karl Marx's idea."
Those who have read Das Kapital in the original German (which rightwingnut.org has not, believing it unpatriotic to understand any language but English) assure us that a passage that is generally not reprinted in the English versions of Kapital goes as follows:
Machen Sie die herrschenden Klassen glauben, dass sie die Erde zerstören , indem Sie etwas Scheiße überEisbären ertrinken bilden. Die Menschen werden etwas für die Eisbären zu tun *
Also Mary Lou does not sufficiently discredit the biggest climate change phony around, Al Gore, who invented the Internet just so he could start lying about climate change on it. He also grew a beard, which proves he is a Marxist.
But, hey, you all already knew that.
*"Make the ruling classes believe they are destroying the Earth by making up some shit about polar bears drowning. People will do anything for polar bears."
Nazis, My Nazis
Asswipes aglow in the light of four-dollar tiki torches
The Cheeto-in-Chief, not content with threatening war with North Korea and, as a merry aside, with Venezuela as well, finished off the weekend by refusing to assign moral error in violence ending in death, sparked by Nazi protesters in Charlottesville, Virginia. He simply sorrowed over the ruckus stirred by "many sides," in the college town.
It must be noted here that we used to give medals to people for fighting Nazis. That policy has changed under Trump. Now, even if you end up run over by a white supremacist barreling into a crowd in a speeding car, you merely get sorrowed over in a generic way. Standing up for equality, freedom and justice entitled you to accolades and ticker-tape parades back in the day. Being a Nazi meant getting tried and hung at Nuremberg. No longer the case, as we have a President who is more comfortable with Aryan supremacists than with the noisy lefties, feminists and Democrats who think the alt-right ought to move to Russia, where they belong, and where he does, too.
Leave it to Mike Pence, el consigliere, to clarify the situation. The VP did call out the Nazis for being repugnant scum, but was quick to blame the press for the whole situation. "I take issue with the fact that many in the national media spent more time criticizing the president's words than they did criticizing those that perpetrated the violence to begin with," said Pence, who continues to style his hair to resemble a small animal flattened on the highway.
It is true that the mainstream media has so far refrained from detailed attacks on modern-day Nazis, thinking perhaps that merely noting that they were Nazis, or pined for Aryan overlordship, or advocated racial war was sufficient criticism in and of itself. Obviously not, so let's do our duty here—they are spoiled bed-wetters who couldn't get laid in a Bangkok whorehouse on National Free Ass Day, carrying tiki torches they bought at Home Depot, the same kind your Aunt Zeldie falls asleep under at the family barbecue, and that probably keeps her from getting too bit up by mosquitos, because they are too lazy to dip stakes in pitch like their spiritual ancestors in the Klan did.
Some of them carry guns, but they attack their opponents with Chrysler products, since they don't have tanks, Stukas or gas chambers as of this writing. They do have a leader, though.
He's Mike Pence's boss, so Mike has to be careful what he says about them.
I Got Hit by a Neutrino
In 2012 it (Ice Cube, not the rapper, but a cosmic ray detector buried at the South Pole) detected a whopper of a neutrino (nicknamed Big Bird; all these events are named after Sesame Street characters to make it easier to keep track of them). The energy in that single neutrino was staggering beyond staggering: It contained 1000 trillion times as much energy as a photon of visible light. If that neutrino had hit someone they would have felt it. A blow from a single subatomic particle. Egads.
From Phil Plait's "Bad Astronomy" column in Slate.
Old People And Their Mail
Crime of the century.
I currently live, as I have previously said here, in the dullest, safest neighborhood I have ever inhabited. I've lived around some—from the slums of West Philly to Mission Beach in San Diego to Waikiki Beach in Hawaii. I've lived in ethnic neighborhoods where I was just about the only gringo, where the chickens crowed at dawn and the pit bulls barked all day.
Here it is so quiet that the automatic sprinkler system switching itself on after a downpour sounds like thunder. Mainly this is a function of the age of my neighbors. They range from well past retirement age to completely superannuated, not because it is one of those 55-and-up communities but because they bought here when the place was built in the 80's and slowly fossilized into it.
We did have a crime here recently. Somebody broke into the community mailboxes. I can only think it was the most heartless and diabolical of criminals, because that is hitting old people where they hurt the most. If there is one thing my ancient neighbors love besides their grandchildren and going to Heaven, it is their mail.
The mail comes fairly early here, usually before 10, and no sooner has the mail truck putt-putted off than my neighbors descend on their boxes, eagerly yanking out the same useless supermarket flyers and coupon cards that me and my girl get nearly every day. Sometimes I get checks, which makes getting my mail extremely gratifying. I know their Social Security checks are automatically deposited, so I don't think that my neighbors are getting any money in the mail, so why, if the mail is late, do they wander in the vicinity of the mailboxes, with looks of bleak puzzlement on their faces, like earthquake survivors stumbling around in the rubble?
My girl gets more mail here than me, because she has lived here longer and I have a separate PO box in which I get mail I don't want her to see. Hah! Just kidding, sweetie. At this address, besides the checks, I usually just get letters from my health insurance company, at least two or three a week because I have Obamacare (for now) and mailing out useless, repetitive notices must be one of its provisions.
She also gets more interesting mail than me, having belonged at one point to both the NRA and the Southern Poverty Law Center. Possibly there is no one else in this vast nation that has contributed to both of these widely disparate non-profits, but there is a simple explanation—she teaches sociology at a local university and joined the NRA to piss off the kumbaya liberals in the sociology department, and she gives to the Southern Poverty Law Center because, at heart, she is a kumbaya liberal herself.
The SPLC has been begging for funds hard since the election, since they figure Trump will stomp all over civil rights, because that was one of his campaign promises, but the NRA is truly desperate, and for good reason. Without Democrats in office, NRA members are no longer frightened that the government will confiscate their guns and ammo, and weapons sales are grinding to a halt. People quite sensibly are figuring that the twelve assault rifles and the six crates of ammo they already bought because they were sure Obama was going to take their guns away, will hold them through the Apocalypse or until the Dems win an election, whichever comes first.
But none of these mail items are more than momentarily interesting, causing me to wonder just what it is my neighbors expect in the mail that makes them stalk the post-person so relentlessly? Do they look forward to endearing, hand-written letters and cards from their loving grandchildren? I hope not, because their grandchildren belong to a generation that figures if you can't text it, it's not worth saying.
Are they betting in lotteries in distant countries, and figuring it's only a matter of time before a fortune in pounds, pesos or guineas is mailed to them in a letter covered with ugly-looking foreign stamps? Maybe that's the answer.
Or are they treasuring those flyers because they, like my own aged mother, are determined to stock up on enough toilet paper, canned soup, shaving cream and mouthwash so that no matter how long they live, there's going to be enough left over so that attendees can shave, gargle, eat and go to the bathroom after their funeral?
I could speculate more, but I think I hear the mail truck.
Waffle House of Punishment
Still on vacation, so here's another blast from the past.
Florida state representative Brad Drake has introduced legislation to re-institute execution by firing squad as a death penalty option in the Sunshine State because he overheard the idea at a Waffle House restaurant.
Immediately this reporter contacted a spokesperson for the Waffle House chain. He was wildly enthusiastic about the idea. "Bringing back firing squads is just the latest example of a great concept being first floated at a Waffle House," he said.
I didn't know Waffle Houses were such hotbeds of intellectual ferment.
"You just haven't been paying attention. Syrup, hotcakes and bacon are known natural brain foods. Every single waffle, whether square or round, contains in its lines and rectangles an intellectually stimulating natural geometry lesson. Pythagoras was staring at a waffle when he came up with his famous theorem, believe it or not."
The ancient Greeks made waffles?
"Tons of 'em. Ate 'em by the plateful while they were braining up to invent Western civilization. Aristotle, Plato, Demosthenes, Bucephalus…all of them could wreak havoc on a stack of waffley goodness before you could say "I think, therefore I want more syrup."
You're aware Bucephalus was a horse?
"And a smart beast indeed. But let's get back to the death penalty issue. The Waffle House is fully behind the restoration of firing squads. We're prepared to sponsor."
I didn't know Florida was looking for sponsors for its executions.
"Why not? Privatization of public services is the wave of the future. The trouble with lethal injection is that it's dull, dull, dull. The condemned's eyes just close like he was watching the School Board Channel. If you're lucky, he poops himself. Big whoop. With firing squads, private enterprise is going to want in on the action.
But what do waffles have to do with the death penalty?
"Try and follow me here. We're not going to try to ace our fellow corporate citizens out of the execution action. There's a drama to death by firing squad that lends itself to sponsorship. What about the blindfold? What do you think Nike's going to pay to have "Just Do It" printed on that?"
Possibly you've been eating too many waffles.
"And if Nike won't cough up with the big bucks, we've got Kellog's waiting in the wings. Snap, Crackle and Pop! Ammunition makers will fall all over themselves to supply the rounds. "Teflon Bullets—They're Not Just for Killing Cops Anymore." There's a message, my friend.
Representative Drake has suggested employees of the Florida Department of Corrections will carry out the executions. Do you think they should be wearing Waffle House uniforms?
"We'll go better than that. We will supply the actual executioners. We'll make more loot by filming a reality show about them. Long, intense conversations in a Jacuzzi about who gets the gun with the blank in it this time. We'll have at least one smokin' hot girl who always complains that the recoil from the rifles keeps bruising her enormous garbanzos."
Waffle House sounds like they're all in with the firing squad idea. You realize it hasn't become law yet?
"Yes, but we're prepared for that. If Florida won't do the sensible thing and bring back the firing squad, we're ready to build a heavy-duty waffle-maker."
"Yes. A waffle maker capable of carrying out the will of the people of Florida."
Wouldn't that be cruel and unusual punishment?
"Cruelty is in the eye of the beholder. I have it admit, though, it would be damn unusual."Florida state representative Brad Drake has introduced legislation to re-institute execution by firing squad as a death penalty option in the Sunshine State because he overheard the idea at a Waffle House restaurant.
"Cruelty is in the eye of the beholder. I have it admit, though, it would be damn unusual."
The Male Manifesto
We wear stuff that doesn't need ironing
On vacation this week, so I'm shamelessly rerunning one of the truly inspiring pieces from my archives. I barely remember writing it, so how could you remember reading it? Enjoy.
A recent Internet survey revealed that a majority of women think men are only good for changing tires, barbecuing, drinking and killing spiders. They wish we would learn to iron, dance and follow fashion trends.
This is the sort of snarky thinking that denigrates all males. Many men throughout history, although perhaps not a majority of them, have proven to be valuable members of the species. That we concentrate on our core specialties, especially when we are not doing something heroic, like building and/or ransacking a civilization, just shows we know how to keep a cool head on our shoulders. We are not consumed by self-doubt because we do not know how to iron or dance. We merely think to ourselves that we could easily learn to iron or dance if we wanted to. I think this myself, even though when I iron a dress shirt, it looks like I am engaging in mixed martial arts with a flailing poltergeist and when I dance, I can barely manage the standard white guy shuffle while my partner dips and discos all over the floor.
Fashion is another matter. Fashion is for you girls and for gay guys. Making us watch "Project Runway" only reinforces this opinion. The only hetero guys who have to pay attention to fashion are celebrities, and this is only because somebody is waiting to take their picture every time they leave the house. If it wasn't for that, they'd go through every week wearing the same seven t-shirts as the rest of us. The only time we regulation guys appear on film is when we walk into a mini-mart, and for sure the guy who watches the security tapes doesn't care what we're wearing, unless it's a handgun.
What we would think is grossly unfair, if we were actually paying attention, is that while we are expected to learn these unfamiliar skills, our critics put no pressure on themselves to match our expertise in the areas we have mastered. Yes, we drink. It makes us more handsome and you more beautiful. What's not to love? We are not about to ruin the experience by worrying about how many calories are in our cocktails.
And we barbecue because then we can cook a piece of meat the size we want to eat and put as much salt on it as it needs. We know you are huddling in the kitchen worried that we are going to catch the yard and possibly ourselves on fire, and sometimes that happens. It's worth it.
We change tires. We're not going to get there unless we do.
We kill spiders proudly. You have seen those gigantic, eight-foot high spiders in science fiction movies, right? You know why we don't have them in real life? Because guys killed them all.
Not only do we kill things, we dispose of the remains. This is a facet of the male résumé that you survey respondents have completely ignored. It is we men that consign the contents of mousetraps and rat traps to their eternal rest. You're not touching them, especially if they're still wiggling a little. If there is a dead animal in the driveway, it is our problem. You girls never think "Oh, I've invited all out friends over to a yard party and now there's a possum that's been bumper-stunned right in our driveway. I'll run right out there, pick it up and bury it before I finish this cheese platter. Look, it's still breathing in a pitiful, near-death sort of way. I'd better whack it a couple times with the shovel first."
Uh, no. That's not happening. And I also realize you will not be saying to yourself, in an introspective, self-critical way, while you are watching the possum disposal from a safe distance, "I really ought to learn to pick up dead animals as well as he does." As a practicing male, I know that possum is my job. I have to go take care of it right away.
Even if I have to stop in the middle of my ironing to do it.


I am looking to incorporate better metrics for my team. I am curious, what others are doing for agency recruiter metrics.
On another note, if there are commission based recruiters, how are people setting the comp plan to make sure that costs are covered? What if someone is commission only, using company, phone, office, linkedin, accounting services and advertising, but not billing enough, do you dock future earnings? Any suggestions?
For recruiting related help or manpower setup in your company, one can refer ManpowerGroup.
They are one of the top recruitment agencies in India with end to end recruitment services like Contract Staffing, permanent staffing, recruitment process outsourcing and IT services.
Visit Manpowergroup and contact them on - enquiry@manpowergroup.com for more details on recruiting staff.


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Q: Extract coordinates from a string regex I am trying to extract coordinates of various formats from reddit comments. I want to be able to extract the two different coordinate formats supported on google maps:
73.180633, -98.100802 and 73°10'50.3"N 98°06'02.9"W
I am able to extract coordinates in the first format with this expression:
([-+]?\d{1,2}[.]\d+),\s*([-+]?\d{1,3}[.]\d+)
However, I have not been able to successfully find or make a pattern to match the second format.

A: This will do it for the second format: \d{1,3}°\d{1,3}'\d{1,3}\.\d\"[N|S]\s\d{1,3}°\d{1,3}'\d{1,3}\.\d\"[E|W]
See: https://regex101.com/r/LN1igj/8
There are two very similar groups, apparently it's not possible to simplify that. See How to capture multiple repeated groups?.
To capture both formats in one regex: (?:((?:[-+]?\d{1,2}[.]\d+),\s*(?:[-+]?\d{1,3}[.]\d+))|(\d{1,3}°\d{1,3}'\d{1,3}\.\d\"[N|S]\s\d{1,3}°\d{1,3}'\d{1,3}\.\d\"[E|W]))
See: https://regex101.com/r/LN1igj/7
But this is not really readable anymore. I would advice to solve that in code.

A: *

*Latitudes are represented from 90S 90N and longitudes are represented from 0 to 180.

*Apart from seconds, Degrees and minutes also can have decimal points instead of further sub units.

*It can also be represented as just decimal numbers with +/-

Please try below regex.
(^| )(-?\d{1,2}(\.\d+)?(?=\s*,?\s*)[\s,]+-?\d{1,3}(\.\d+)?|\d{1,2}(\.\d+°|°(\d{1,2}(\.\d+'|'(\d{1,2}(\.\d+)?\")?))?)[NS](?=\s*,?\s*)[\s,]+\d{1,3}(\.\d+°|°(\d{1,2}(\.\d+'|'(\d{1,2}(\.\d+)?\")?))?)[EW])

Demo

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaStackExchange


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Divi Kervella (París, 1957) és un escriptor i traductor en bretó, fill de Frañsez Kervella i Ivetig an Dred-Kervella.

Biografia
Treballa per a l'edició en llengua bretona, i entre altres, ha traduït o editat:
nombroses obres per infants (la darrera és el Petit Nicolas en bretó, segons Sempé, "Nikolazig e brezhoneg")
 Còmics (és el traductor de les aventures de Tintin, Astèrix, Le Chat i Les Blondes en bretó);
 Obres lexicogràfiques com un Vocabulaire des argots bretons;
un mètode d'aprenentatge de la llengua bretona (Assimil nova edició en 2005).

També col·labora amb l'Oficina Pública de la Llengua Bretona, i publica regularment articles sobre les banderes a Bretanya a la revista "Al Lumanidig", editada per l'associació bretona de vexil·lologia i d'heràldica "Bannieloù Breizh", de la que n'és president del consell d'administració.

Publicacions
 Le breton de poche, Langue de base Français - Langue enseignée Breton. Assimil. 2001
 Légendaire celtique. Coop Breizh. Amb Erwan Seure-Le Bihan, 2001
 Le breton, collection "sans peine", Éditions Assimil, 2005
 Parle-moi breton, Éditions Assimil, 2011
 Emblèmes et symboles des bretons et des celtes. Coop Breizh. 1998 et 3 autres éditions.
 Geriaoueg luc'hajoù ar brezhoneg, Vocabulaire argotique breton, An Alarc'h Embannadurioù, 2003
 Petit guide des noms de lieux bretons, Coop Breizh, 2007,
 Guide des drapeaux bretons et celtes, (avec Mikael Bodlore-Penlaez) Yoran Embanner, 2008, .
 Atlas de Bretagne / Atlas Breizh, (amb Mikael Bodlore-Penlaez), Coop Breizh, 2011, .
 Nikolazig e brezhoneg, d'après Sempé et Goscinny, Éditions Imav, 2013.

Notes i referències

Escriptors en bretó
Morts a Bretanya
Persones dels Alts del Sena
Escriptors parisencs

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaWikipedia


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This is a corrected version of the story. In the original, Brunswick Community College's size and purpose of a funding request were incorrectly reported.
Leland | The Brunswick County Board of Commissioners concluded its three-day budget retreat Wednesday with thoughts weighing on officials' minds about how to balance department wish lists against a nationwide economic slump.
As a result of economic conditions expected this year, county Finance Director Ann Hardy said she expects the county's revenue to grow by only $3.7 million in the fiscal year that starts next fiscal year if the county's tax rate remains at 30.5 cents per $100 of value.
The county's projected revenue increased by about $11 million this fiscal year, with $158 million expected to come in. That amount was $3.3 million better than county staff originally projected, partly due to the tax administration department's efforts in collecting taxes owed, Hardy said.
"That's a lot better than I thought," Commissioner May Moore said.
The tax base grew by 3.8 percent this fiscal year, following revaluation the year before. It rose from $31.4 billion in 2007 to $32.6 billion.
In 2006, the county's tax base, including motor vehicles and property, was $15.8 billion. It doubled as a result of the revaluation.
County Manager Marty Lawing will take department needs and wishes and create a recommended budget that he'll pitch to commissioners in May.
He reminded commissioners at the end of the retreat Wednesday that next year's revenue picture is tighter.
But he said he was pleased with the austerity initiated by some departments in their requests.
Last year more than new 100 positions were requested. This year department leaders requested only about 35, he said.
Here are other highlights from the retreat's final day:
COMMISSIONERS GOALS: Each fiscal year, the commissioners set goals and objectives.
The first goal for the upcoming fiscal year revolves around transportation.
The commissioners want to work with the Brunswick County Association of Realtors to assess the county's road needs and how to pay for improvements. The Realtors association did not agree last year with the county commissioners' plan to use a land-transfer tax to pay for some road improvements, and voters overwhelmingly defeated the idea in a referendum.
The commissioners also want to work with the N.C. Department of Transportation to develop a viable transportation plan. The board tabled a comprehensive transportation plan presented by the DOT in January because it did not include new roadways, which Moore said was a pressing need.
The commissioners also want to re-examine the way the county conducts its tax revaluations. Last year's historic revaluation, where some property values tripled, prompted commissioners to think about how the tax burden is spread across the county.
LANDFILL: An ongoing discussion continued Wednesday about whether the county should provide for disposal of construction and demolition debris as its landfill reaches capacity.
Lawing said expanding the landfill seemed like the best option.
But Commissioner Phil Norris said the underlying question is, "Why are we doing this?"
He said only people using the construction and demolition landfill should pay for it.
Moore suggested finding out how coastal communities handle construction debris.
The commissioners will have a series of workshops on the issue soon.
BRUNSWICK COMMUNITY COLLEGE: BCC President Stephen Greiner told commissioners the college was hit hard when it didn't receive the funding it expected from the state.
Among the college's budget requests from the county is $177,792 for increased utility costs resulting from new buildings scheduled to open this year and in 2009.
Startup costs of the college's new aquatics center are expected to be $502,355, but Greiner said he's not asking for that amount from the county. Membership fees and other funds could be tapped.
Shannan Bowen: 755-6307
shannan.bowen@starnewsonline.com

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


The Kazakhstan Stock Exchange (KASE) is the primary securities exchange of Kazakhstan, and is headquartered in Almaty. More than 50 financial services providers participate in the exchange. KASE is a member of the World Federation of Exchanges and the International Association of Exchanges of the Commonwealth of Independent States (IAE CIS).
The exchange lists more than 140 companies. In addition to facilitating trades in stocks, the exchange also lists bonds, derivatives, government securities, repurchase agreements and forex.
The KZKAK index tracks KASE performance.


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Director, Office of Economic Development, Community Development, & Community Engagement
by AUCC | Oct 7, 2019 | Articles, Clark Atlanta University, Latest News, Morehouse College, Morehouse School of Medicine, Spelman College | 0 comments
Title: Director, Office of Economic Development, Community Development, & Community Engagement
Organization: Atlanta University Center Consortium, Inc. (AUCC)
Reports to: Executive Director
Location: Atlanta,Georgia
OVERVIEW OF THE ORGANIZATION: RE-ENVISIONING OF THE ATLANTA UNIVERSITY CENTER (AUC) COLLABORATIVE EFFORTS AND RESULTS
The Atlanta University Center Consortium (AUCC) is the oldest and largest academic consortium serving primarily African American students. Its members are four historically black colleges and universities (HBCUs); two liberal arts colleges, a comprehensive research university, and a medical school; that confer undergraduate and graduate degrees across a range of disciplines. Graduates of the Atlanta University Center institutions are leaders in their chosen fields. In addition, AUC research addresses a broad range of issues, with a particular focus on issues and disparities facing minority populations.
Shared Vision for AUCC as an Innovative Think Tank
The Council of Presidents of the Atlanta University Center, which includes the presidents of Clark Atlanta University, Morehouse College, Morehouse School of Medicine, and Spelman College, have developed a shared vision that shifts AUCC from an organization focused on the coordination of individual programs and governance councils to an innovative think tank focused on thought leadership, collaboration, and innovation for strategic initiatives that will yield meaningful and effective outcomes for each campus and the AUC. Additionally, the vision for the AUCC is to provide a collaborative space to incubate innovative best practices relevant to the broader higher education community, with special focus and emphasis on underrepresented groups in higher education.
The AUCC transformation is aligned across three major areas: (1) academics, research and student success; (2) optimizing campus operations; and (3) economic development and community development, and campus engagement strategies.
The AUCC seeks a dynamic leader to develop and implement a comprehensive approach to community development, economic development, and community engagement that will better position AUCC and its four institutions as anchors and catalysts for community vitality. The person hired in this newly created position will expand current AUCC community and economic development initiatives to create stronger positive impacts for AUC campus stakeholders and for Atlanta communities. A key driver for creating this new office and new position is the recent development of an AUC Master Plan Vision that includes significant physical and programmatic development.
Several existing efforts will be combined and reframed under this new position. Moreover, through new collaborations and partnerships, we seek to gain additional synergies for stand-alone community and economic development and community engagement programs that operate on various campuses across the AUC.
The Director, Community and Economic Development maximizes the collective opportunities and impact of the four AUC institutions for nearby neighborhoods, the greater Atlanta region, and the world at large. The role requires both rethinking existing efforts and developing new initiatives from the ground up:
Facilitating the implementation of the AUC neighborhood master plan vision collectively including AUC institutions and other stakeholders. Important components of this vision include developing faculty and student housing, developing strategies to promote vibrancy including retail, entertainment, and lodging, and improving connectivity and walkability, and promoting health and wellness.
Bringing together campus innovation, entrepreneurship and faculty commercialization efforts and programs to better engage, connect, and leverage Atlanta's burgeoning technology, healthcare, financial services and innovation sectors.
Linking AUC institutions to metro Atlanta's economic development initiatives and leveraging our student and faculty population to benefit from the business attraction; business retention; small business development; and workforce development that results.
Coalescing campus stakeholders engaged in improving area K-12 and pre-K education performance to achieve greater impacts through collaboration.
Linking AUC faculty and student expertise and capability with neighborhood organizations by facilitating connections in health and wellness; small business development; arts and culture; education; social justice; and other areas of interest to the community
Developing a tourism and visitor strategy to promote the AUC as a unique asset for the region's visitors.
Developing a robust film and television program to leverage Atlanta's strong entertainment hub to deliver more opportunities to AUC and its students.
Supporting local neighborhood and Atlanta region initiatives for health and wellness, pre-K-12 improvement, and student volunteerism through AUC programs.
QUALIFICATIONS EXPECTED
Master's degree in planning, economic development, public administration, or a related field
Seven years work experience in economic development, community development or a related field
Demonstrated understanding of the redevelopment process including tools and resources
Innovative problem solver
Strong expertise and networks in real estate development, and experience using a wide variety of public sector, philanthropic, and private sector tools
Professional presence including persuasive presenter and ability to engage a wide cross section of stakeholders
Work experience managing projects, teams and resources
Very strong writing skills
Nominations, inquiries, and expressions of interest should be directed electronically to:
tfortson@aucenter.edu
AUC Consortium Inc.
156 Mildred Street, Atlanta GA 30314
Clark Atlanta
Clark Atlanta University is a comprehensive, private, urban, coeducational institution of higher education with a predominately African-American heritage. Learn More
Founded in 1867, Morehouse College is a private historically Black liberal arts college for men. Learn More
Morehouse School of Medicine
Morehouse School of Medicine was founded in 1975 as the Medical Education Program at Morehouse College. Learn More
Spelman College
Spelman College, founded in 1881, is a historically Black college and a global leader in the education of women of African descent. Learn More
News, Updates, & Tutorials
AUC Robert W. Woodruff Library
Common Sense Saturdays
Financial Empowerment Series
Grants to Green
Homebuyer Seminar
Morehouse Schools of Medicine
aerospace african american ArtWorks for Freedom Atlanta University Center Woodruff Library AUCC Career Fair Career Positions Christopher Elders Clark Atlanta University Co-ops college commencement speech CommUniversity DDEP dual degree engineering program education Freedom Expressions ATL Graduate Grants to Green Internships Jackson and Tull Job Opportunities Kay Chernush Law School Fair Legal Forum manufacturing michelle obama Morehouse College Morehouse School of Medicine national security Nima Warfield Nzinga Tull Oluwabusayo "Tope" Folarin Prince Abudu Professional and Engineering School Fair Rhodes Scholar Robert W. Woodruff Library Sherry Turner spelman Spelman College Tull Virginia Lacy Jones Exhibition Hall women Woodruff Library


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Lawan: APC crisis deepens as seven NWC members disown Adamu over consensus
Leave a Comment / Politics / By YOMSDIRECT / Monday, 6 June 2022, 21:51 Monday, 6 June 2022, 21:51
The crisis rocking the ruling All Progressives Congress took another dimension on Monday when members of the National Working Committee rejected the Senate President, Ahmad Lawan, as its consensus candidate.
The rebuttal is hours after the National Chairman of the party, Abdullahi Adamu, announced Lawan as the party's consensus candidate.
Adamu had dropped the bombshell during the meeting of the NWC on Monday at the party's National Secretariat in Abuja.
According to him, the choice of Lawan was decided after due consultation with the President, Major General Muhammadu Buhari (retd.).
His pronouncement did not, however, go down well with the NWC members as some kicked against the decision, demanding that the party give every aspirant level playing field.
Addressing newsmen in front of the party secretariat in Abuja, the National Organising Secretary of the APC, Suleman Argungu, disclosed that the choice of Lawan was not the decision taken by the party as alleged.
"We want to state that the pronouncement of Lawan as the consensus candidate was the chairman's opinion and he is entitled to his opinion.
It is not the position of the party," he said.
The media briefing also had other members of the National Working Committee of the All Progressives Congress in attendance.
They include National Vice Chairman (North-West), Mallam Salihu Lukman, his South West counterpart, Isaac Kekemeke and five other members of the NWC.
The claim and counter-claim is coming on the first day of APC convention, which kicked off today at the Eagle Square in Abuja.
Tinubu to dump APC for SDP if… – Associate
Leave a Comment / Politics / By MITCH-PLUG / Tuesday, 17 May 2022, 21:26 Tuesday, 17 May 2022, 21:26
Former Lagos state governor and Presidential…
2023 Presidency: No PDP candidate can contest with me – Tinubu
All Progressives Congress, APC, presidential aspirant,…


Extreme Beer Fest: Los Angeles is officially sold out. No door sales. See our Beer Tickets forum on beeradvocate.com for possible options.
Extreme Beer Fest® is the ultimate throwdown of craft beer creativity. Join us as we celebrate brewers who push the boundaries of brewing and raise a fist at the norm. Minds will be blown. Palates will be inspired. Prepare for epicness.
And for the first time ever, we're bring the Extreme to the West Coast! The one-day, two-session event will be held on Saturday, December 9 at the California Market Center in DTLA.
Hosted by BeerAdvocate. Sponsored by Dogfish Head Craft Brewery.
Access to the purchased session, all beer tastings, a BeerAdvocate-branded govino "glass" and a program while supplies last. Food sold seperately.
By purchasing fest tickets, or attending the fest, all attendees agree to any and all rules, restrictions, and forfeit any claims of liability as outlined here and on any and all fest related materials. Please read our Frequently Asked Questions and all other fest info before purchasing tickets. All attendees must be 21+ with a valid ID.


I'm offering you an in-depth look into the mysteries of one-tricking various flashy champions, while also mastering their intended roles and positions. My most renowned champions are Yasuo, Lee Sin, Rengar and Zed. I can thus offer a good insight into the life of a jungler, mid laner, and an assassin.
What you can expect / suggest to do during coaching?


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Tag Archive for: Google Extensions for Chrome
You are here: Home / Google Extensions for Chrome
2. How can technology help high school students?
In this episode, Ann interviews LHS Senior Megan and asks about the ways teachers and students use technology. Megan shares tools that are helpful, and ways teachers help students access curriculum. She also shares how she keeps her technology organized.
https://www.lexingtonma.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/LPS-LandscapeLogo-Color-CMYK-300x43.png 0 0 lrhodes https://www.lexingtonma.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/LPS-LandscapeLogo-Color-CMYK-300x43.png lrhodes2021-12-07 09:52:582021-12-07 12:16:132. How can technology help high school students?
9. How has this year affected Executive Functioning
In this episode, Rachel interviews three Diamond teachers: Kate Desjardins (Reading teacher), Roseann Thebado (Skills teacher) and Cecelia Vosland (Skills teacher) who tell us about middle school students working on their executive functioning skills in middle school and during the pandemic. Last summer, they created a website for this year, Executive Functioning for Remote Learning. Their website has slides with videos and tips on time management, task initiation, choice board strategies and more. At the top of the episode, Lisah shares new Screencastify updates and reminds us to update our extensions. Ann closes the episode with two websites that highlight executive functioning.
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8. How are libraries functioning in the pandemic?
Season 2, Episode 8 - How are libraries functioning in the pandemic? is available for listening. In this episode, Rachel interviews an LHS (and occasional Harrington) librarian Sarah Anderson. Sarah tells us how the library is helping students and staff access materials during the pandemic, and about available digital resources. Lisah reminds us to check the LPS Technology website for updates and Ann shares directions for borrowing eBooks online.
https://www.lexingtonma.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/LPS-LandscapeLogo-Color-CMYK-300x43.png 0 0 lrhodes https://www.lexingtonma.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/LPS-LandscapeLogo-Color-CMYK-300x43.png lrhodes2021-03-16 08:24:532021-03-19 19:37:128. How are libraries functioning in the pandemic?
7. How has technology supported remote music classes?
Season 2, Episode 7: How has technology supported remote learning classes? with Angela Carpenter, is ready for listening. Angela is a music teacher at Harrington Elementary and shares how she has been using tools to teach music during the pandemic. Lisah shares updates on Padlet and upcoming password requirements, and Ann shares Sodaphonic.com, a free website for recording and editing audio files.
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6. Tech Year in Review
In this episode, we share our top ten list of tools for 2020. Click here to see Chris Szajaner's YouTube channel. Some recommended podcasts to listen to Google Teacher Podcast, Cult of Pedagogy, Shake Up Learning. Also, visit the staff website for the Read & Write training website.
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5. How can I make the most of SeeSaw?
In this episode, Rachel interviews two elementary Digital Learning Coaches, Traci Jansen (Bridge and Harrington) and Julie Spang (Estabrook, Fiske and LCP) to discuss the best ways to utilize SeeSaw, the communication tool Lexington is using in grades PreK-2. Ann shares tips on Jamboard (Google's collaborative whiteboard) and Lisah shares updates on PearDeck
https://www.lexingtonma.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/LPS-LandscapeLogo-Color-CMYK-300x43.png 0 0 lrhodes https://www.lexingtonma.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/LPS-LandscapeLogo-Color-CMYK-300x43.png lrhodes2020-12-02 10:21:572020-12-02 10:32:155. How can I make the most of SeeSaw?
4. How can we work smarter, not harder with Google Sheets
n this episode, Rachel interviews Dave Wininger, one of the DLCs at Lexington High School. Dave is great at workflows, and tells us ways to be efficient using Forms and Sheets, and how to plan your questions in Forms to get the data you want. Lisah shares updates to Zoom settings, such as authentication, and we share TeacherMade, a free website where teachers can create worksheets out of PDFs and photos, and post them to Classroom.
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3 How can technology support DEI? with Johnny Cole
In Episode 3, Rachel speaks with Johnny Cole, the LPS Director of Equity and Student Supports. Johnny shares ways technology has been supporting DEI, along with updates to the Equity at LPS website. We also take a look at Google Form quizzes for the lockdown feature and questions based on answers.
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#17 How Did We Make The Podcast?
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#16 How Has Remote Learning Changed Your Practice?
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Kiyomi Noguchi
Excellence in Teaching Awards
Wu Yee
A Day of Family Fun!
Visitacion Valley Family Day
Love, Risk, Joy, Engagement, and Reflection
We LOVE volunteers!
Wu Yee Child Development Centers Return to Nature
John Gunnarson in the Nature Room at Little Sprouts Child Development Center
Five Wu Yee Children's Services Child Development Centers have started to update their play spaces to include rocks, trees and water - all vital elements in nature. At Little Sprouts Child Development Center in Chinatown, this means putting plants and fish tanks in the classrooms and renaming their indoor play space, the "Nature Room" in honor of the vines, branches, and rocks integrated with the toys, games, and activities.
John Gunnarson, designer of the Nature Room at Little Sprouts states some of the many benefits of having a more natural based play space are increased problem solving and creativity. He said, "by seeing the slight differences in natural objects like leaves and sticks, children can think creatively and value diversity." Little Sprouts Center Manager, Martha Ly echoes Gunnarson's sentiment saying, "Being exposed to natural elements promotes calmness and creativity. Children are more likely to take risks and explore."
Being exposed to natural elements also encourages children to develop a love of nature and the environment and want to preserve it for generations to come. "These children could be future policy makers and politicians. They need a chance to experience nature in a safe place and develop a positive connection to our environment, "said Gunnarson.
We look forward to seeing the children play in the Nature Room at Little Sprouts, and the completion of the renovated play spaces at the four other Wu Yee Child Development Centers.
Tagged: Little Sprouts, child development
Liz Dembski
End of Year Celebrations at Wu Yee Child Development Centers
Little Sprouts
The end of July marked a joyous time for Wu Yee Children's Services' child development center participants as they celebrated the transition of many children from Early Head Start to Head Start programs, and from Head Start to Kindergarten.
Kids, their families, and teachers gathered at the centers in a happy mood to celebrate the children's accomplishments of making friends, sharing with their peers, and creating community. Activities such as face painting, singing songs, and story time were enjoyed by all. From everyone at Wu Yee Children's Services: Good luck to our children transitioning to new schools and programs, and we hope to see you soon in the coming program year!
Tagged: Generations, Little Sprouts, children, child development
Theater of the Oppressed
Child Development staff from Wu Yee Children's Services and other San Francisco early childhood education organizations convened at the First 5 San Francisco offices to participate in week-long seminar to foster the development of bicultural and bilingual educators. The workshop, Theater of the Oppressed, "is a collection of practices and exercises where participants rehearse with their bodies a solution for oppressive situations," said Ronald Rosario, co-facilitator of the workshop. "It is a way to gain critical consciousness through reconstruction of their narratives," he said.
Theater of the Oppressed is a series of theatrical analyses and critiques that use theater techniques, exercises, and games as a vehicle for transforming communities and effecting social and political change. It is a method of harnessing theatrical forms to heal communities and stop cycles of oppression.
The workshop is co-sponsored by Wu Yee Children's Services and First 5 San Francisco, and designed by the Center for Linguistic and Cultural Democracy. Rosario, and his co-facilitator, Pedro Adorno, discussed with participants their external and internal barriers toward moving forward in their jobs and professional development. Adorno addressed the need for emotional support in performing the important job of educator, saying, "we need to be listened to, only then can we listen to others." Theater of the Oppressed's framework is used to address repressive/oppressive cycles and can help break destructive habits, that sometimes inadvertently are passed on to children.
Participants asked and answered questions such as, who are we as teachers? An anonymous participant said, "I like working with kids because I can be myself. I know they will accept me for who I am." Another participant spoke of the sacrifices she made to do her job, saying," I took a risk. I gave things up to be here." These testaments are methods of asserting one's self and addressing hardships, fears, and barriers to moving forward in one's career. Participants identified values such as inclusion, cultural sensitivity, and critical thinking as essential to bicultural and bilingual educators.
Rosario and Adorno studied with Augusto Boal, Nobel Peace Prize nominee and creator of Theater of the Oppressed. Rosario, a philosopher and poet, and Adorno, a theater and film director make a perfect team as co-facilitators. With Adorno cleverly coaxing the shyest participants out of their shells, and Rosario providing support, people spoke honestly, thought critically and interacted enthusiastically. Wu Yee Child Development staff will return to their centers next week inspired and motivated to put concepts such as creating an emotional response, upending the traditional power dynamic, and breaking destructive behavioral habits to good use in their work.
Tagged: child development, early childhood education


text:
Bishop McManus welcomes Pope's new norms on reporting abuse allegations
Today's announcement by the Holy See of a Motu Proprio by Pope Francis is welcome news. Mandating a consistent global response to this threat on children, young people and vulnerable adults is a major milestone, making it clear that any cover-up of child sexual abuse is never acceptable.
I look forward to the June plenary session of the Bishops of the United States when we discuss how we can implement the Motu Proprio. This will strengthen the work in our country which has been made possible by the Charter for the Protection of Children and Young People, which has effectively guided our efforts for seventeen years.
Allow me to paraphrase the thoughts of the president of our episcopal conference, Cardinal Daniel DiNardo, by noting that the existing framework in the United States, including victim outreach, zero tolerance, reporting allegations to civil authorities, and lay expertise on review boards, among other measures, positions us to implement the Holy Father's instructions. By embracing the painful experience of survivors and working on these new protections, let us pray we continue to grow into a stronger and purified Church.
Bishop McManus
CNS: Pope issues new norms on mandatory abuse reporting, bishop accountability
VATICAN CITY (CNS) -- Pope Francis has revised and clarified norms and procedures for holding bishops and religious superiors accountable in protecting minors as well as in protecting members of religious orders and seminarians from abuse.
The new juridical instrument is meant to help bishops and religious leaders around the world clearly understand their duties and church law, underlining how they are ultimately responsible for proper governance and protecting those entrusted to their care. For this reason, the new document establishes a clearer set of universal procedures for reporting suspected abuse, carrying out initial investigations and protecting victims and whistleblowers.
The new document, given "motu proprio," on the pope's own initiative, was titled "Vos estis lux mundi" ("You are the light of the world"), based on a verse from the Gospel of St. Matthew (5:14).
"The crimes of sexual abuse offend Our Lord, cause physical, psychological and spiritual damage to the victims and harm the community of the faithful," the pope said in the document, released by the Vatican May 9. The norms go into effect June 1.
In order to stop all forms of abuse from ever happening again, not only is "a continuous and profound conversion of hearts" necessary, there must be "concrete and effective actions that involve everyone in the church," he wrote.
Cardinal Marc Ouellet, prefect of the Congregation for Bishops, said the new norms ascribe a new role to heads of dioceses by making them responsible for alerting the proper Vatican authorities of all forms of suspected abuse, including the possession, distribution or creation of pornography involving a minor.
He told Vatican News May 9 that the norms respond to Pope Francis' continued insistence for concrete and effective measures to ensure bishops and religious superiors have a very clear understanding of what their obligations are and what they should and should not do when it comes to safeguarding.
It also requires all priests and religious to report suspected abuse or cover-ups and encourages any lay person to report through a now-mandated reporting "system" or office in each diocese.
How the office or "system" works will be up to each diocese, but "the idea is that anyone who has suffered abuse can have recourse to the local church, while being assured they will be well received, protected from retaliation, and that their reports will be treated with the utmost seriousness," Andrea Tornielli, editorial director of the Dicastery for Communication, told Vatican News.
The new norms now stipulate:
-- Procedures for the investigation of bishops, cardinals, patriarchs, religious superiors and all those who lead -- even temporarily -- a diocese or particular church, including personal prelatures and personal ordinariates.
-- Leaders will be held accountable not only with suspected cases of committing abuse themselves, but also accusations of having interfered with, covered up or failed to address abuse accusations they were aware of.
-- When the accused individual is a bishop, the metropolitan will receive a mandate from the Holy See to investigate or delegate a person in charge of the preliminary investigation. A status report must be sent to the Holy See every 30 days, and the investigation completed with 90 days with some exceptions. Vatican offices are also held to specific timeframes and prompt action.
-- By June 2020, every diocese in the world must create an office or "public, stable and easily accessible systems" for reporting suspected abuse against a minor or vulnerable person, failure of compliance of abuse guidelines by bishops or superiors, and cases of interference or cover-ups in either a civil or canonical investigation of suspected abuse.
-- All priests and religious that become aware of abuse or its cover-up must alert their bishop or religious superior promptly.
-- A minor is anyone under the age of 18 and a vulnerable person is "any person in a state of infirmity, physical or mental deficiency, or deprivation of personal liberty which, in fact, even occasionally, limits their ability to understand or to want to otherwise resist the offense."
-- The definition of child pornography as any representation of a minor, regardless of the media used, "involved in explicit sexual activities, whether real or simulated, and any representation of sexual organs of minors for primarily sexual purposes."
-- Bishops and religious superiors will be accountable not just for protecting minors against abuse but also for protecting seminarians, novices and members of religious orders from violence and sexual abuse stemming from an abuse of power. The norms apply to reports of "delicts against the sixth commandment" regarding clerics or members of religious orders and "forcing someone, by violence or threat or through abuse of authority, to perform or submit to sexual acts."
-- Those who report abuse cannot be subjected to pressure, retaliation and discrimination or told to keep silent. The seal of confession, however, remains inviolable and is not affected by the new norms.
-- Procedures for carrying out the preliminary investigation include the bishop immediately requesting from the Vatican that he or a delegate be assigned to begin the preliminary investigation. If he considers an accusation is unfounded, the papal nuncio is informed. The Vatican will have 30 days to respond to the request and the bishop sends a status report to the Vatican every 30 days.
-- When the investigation is complete, the bishop sends the results to the proper Vatican office, which then follows existing canon law.
-- The continued obligation to respect civil laws regarding mandatory reporting.
-- Those who reported suspected abuse or cover-up will be told of the outcome of the investigation if they request to be informed.
-- A fund can be set up by bishops' conferences, synods and church provinces to cover the costs of investigations.
The document is a follow-up to Pope Francis' 2016 document, "As a Loving Mother," on transparency and accountability of bishops and religious superiors.
The two documents together are meant to correct what had been a lack of or unclear procedures for investigating the way a bishop complies with already established norms against abuse and clearly expressing the consequences of noncompliance or cover-ups.
PHOTO: Pope Francis prays in front of a candle in memory of victims of sexual abuse as he visits St. Mary's Pro-Cathedral in Dublin Aug. 25, 2018. Pope Francis has revised and clarified norms and procedures for holding bishops and religious superiors accountable in protecting minors as well as in protecting members of religious orders and seminarians from abuse. (CNS photo/Paul Haring)
Days of covering up abuse allegations are over, says Vatican adviser
By Carol Glatz Catholic News Service
VATICAN CITY (CNS) -- Pope Francis' new norms on protecting minors and strengthening accountability are the latest steps in driving home the message that the days of keeping abuse allegations covered up or ignored are over, said the Vatican's top abuse investigator.
In the past, some people may have thought they were protecting the church by remaining silent, but that behavior was never acceptable, Archbishop Charles Scicluna of Malta, adjunct secretary of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, told reporters.
"The good of the church requires condemnation" to the proper authorities when it comes to abuse of minors and abuses of power, he said.
The archbishop spoke to reporters about Pope Francis' latest apostolic letter, "Vos estis lux mundi" ("You are the light of the world") at a news conference at the Vatican May 9. The new document establishes and clarifies norms and procedures for holding bishops and religious superiors accountable when it comes to safeguarding minors as well as abuses carried out against adults with violence, threats or an abuse of authority.
The new norms are important, Archbishop Scicluna said, because they clearly tell people they have an obligation to report already existing crimes, negligence and inappropriate behavior to church authorities.
That obligation "has always been there, but experience shows us that either a closed-shop mentality or a misplaced interest in protecting the institution was hindering disclosure," he said.
The now universal law of mandating all clerics, as well as men and women religious, to report to the competent ecclesiastical authorities the abuses of which they become aware is important, he said, "because it makes disclosure the main policy of the church."
Procedures have already been in place when it comes to accusations of abuse of minors by priests, so the new norms address what to do when the accused is a bishop, cardinal, patriarch or religious superior and how accusations against leadership of abuse or misconduct must be reported.
For example, "if a priest uses force with an adult, it's the bishop who takes that case," he said. But "when a person in leadership is guilty of misconduct, the jurisdiction pertains to the Holy See," he said.
The new norms and clear procedures, particularly with their emphasis on having an impartial investigation of leaders, send the message that "no leadership is above the law."
"There is no immunity" from God's law and canon law, he added.
When asked if victims will be pleased with the new laws, the archbishop said, "Victims will be satisfied if the laws give rise to a new culture."
"I would never go to a person who has suffered, give them a piece of paper and say that we have fixed everything. People need concrete responses" and action, which is why "I am telling people, 'Help the pope so that his desire (to prevent abuse) becomes a reality in your dioceses.'"
The new norms will not fix everything, he added, but they do send "a very strong message that disclosure is the order of the day, and not silence."
It is also the first time "compliance with state laws" concerning the abuse of minors gets placed in the realm of the church's universal law, the archbishop said.
Even though the doctrinal congregation's circular letter in 2011 made it clear the church must obey civil laws regarding abuse and reporting, the new apostolic letter "ratifies in a universal law" that mandate to respect civil requirements.
"No form of loyalty to the church must keep citizens from obeying their nation," he said, "because in the past we have had very sad cases where people said, 'Let's not talk, we want to protect the church.'"
"This is a no-go," he said, "It is not acceptable" because the good of the church requires truth and transparency, which includes respecting civil law, he said, adding that he hoped people felt "empowered to go to the police" to denounce a crime.
Church and local authorities should be working together tirelessly to combat abuse against minors because it has always been a crime for society and the church, he said.
Another important part of the new law is it facilitates disclosure by mandating that all dioceses must establish within one year "stable and publicly accessible systems," which could include a specific office or "listening center," where people can report cases of sexual abuse or their cover-up.
National bishops' conferences should help dioceses figure out the best and most culturally appropriate ways to provide this form of outreach and service, if they have not done so already, he said.
The fact that there are still countries where the church does not provide a clear and permanent place or way to report abuse shows "this universal law was needed" and that having structures for disclosure is "no longer an option," it is a papally mandated law, Archbishop Scicluna said.
"If people have the right and the duty to denounce something illicit" in the case of abuse, "they also have the right to denounce if, after one year, nothing has been done" in regard to the new mandate, he said.


text:
A tin box that solved the mysterious origins of a rare octagon house
Updated: 1:39 PM EST Mar 2, 2020
By Katie Dowd, SF Gate
Although PG&E bought it in 1924, for decades the McElroy Octagon House remained one of the only homes in San Francisco without electricity.PG&E wanted the home's Cow Hollow lot for a future substation, but while the plans dawdled, kids and ghosts moved in. Upstairs, a group of runaways from a local youth juvenile hall set up shop. And downstairs, a ghost paced.Every Nov. 24, the neighborhood legend went, a person could be heard creaking up the staircase in the middle of the house. When the entity reached the 20th step, it let out an unearthly scream and a thump resounded through the home, like a body falling to the first floor.No one, though, knew who the spirit belonged to. By the 1950s, property records were long lost and it was a city mystery as to who built an eight-sided home, among the rarest in America and just one of two left in San Francisco.But all that changed in 1952 when the home was spared from demolition by the National Society of the Colonial Dames of America in California, a group that seeks to preserve historic buildings. PG&E agreed to sell them the home for $1 — and the savings were much-needed by the NSCDA. The home needed extensive renovations.The next year, work began. An electrician was brought in to, finally, get lights in the place. And during drilling into an upstairs wall, he hit a tin box. Inside was a trove of papers that finally answered the question: Who on earth would build a house this strange? The octagon house trend was short-lived, and it's not hard to see why.The original floor plan for the San Francisco home is a mess. You entered the home into a small triangular foyer bordered by doors on all three walls. Through one door, you went into the parlor. Through another was the dining room. Each room was cut off from the others by a series of doors, and the staircase up to the second floor was located, through more doors, in the very center of the house.The concept was the brainchild of phrenologist Orson Squire Fowler, who published "The Octagon House, A Home for All" in 1848. In it, he claimed his octagon homes were cheaper to build and warmer due to their many windows (a real draw in foggy San Francisco). A few thousand homes were built around the nation before people realized its problems. Aside from the ridiculous floor plan, the inexpensive homes were made of lime and concrete, a combination that was apt to crack in freezing weather and collapse entirely in natural disasters.The promise of octagonal living, though, was still a magical dream for the family who built the home on Gough Street. Inside the tin box found by the electrician was a time capsule left there by the McElroys almost 100 years before.A letter, written by William C. McElroy, dated from July 1861. Three dozen newspaper clippings, mostly about the outbreak of the Civil War, were tucked inside, as was a tintype of the McElroy family: husband William and wife Harriet ("a very good Looking old Couple," William jokingly wrote) and daughter Emma.The Chronicle wrote upon its discovery that McElroy's letter was penned "with pride, self-confidence and a disarming disregard for spelling and syntax."In it, he explained how they came to San Francisco and built their dream home. Harriet came first, moving from Pennsylvania shortly after the start of the Gold Rush. William moved in the 1850s from Virginia, setting up shop as a miller. The pair met and married in 1859, the same year Harriet used her independent wealth to buy a lot on Gough for $2,500 (about $72,000 today).Enamored with the octagon house phenomenon, they set to work building. Two years later, the home was ready. At the time, it had incredible views stretching in all directions of the burgeoning city. "I do not believe that, the world ever has furnished a parelell to our progress as a City in the Same time," William wrote. "Look which ever way you will," he wrote, "and you observe happiness prosperity and wealth." The home stayed in the McElroy family for 50 years. After William died in 1869, Harriet and Emma started taking in boarders. The 1880 census shows Harriet and Emma (then 27) living with a 20-year-old doctor and a young laundry worker. Emma, working as a teacher at a school on Broadway between Montgomery and Sansome, married shortly thereafter and moved with her aging mother to her husband's house on Guerrero.From that time, the Octagon House became a rental. The McElroys rented it to many families, but the most famous was poet and journalist Daniel O'Connell. If his name doesn't sound familiar, his creation will: He was a co-founder of the Bohemian Club.The decline of the Octagon House began in April 1906 when the earthquake destroyed whole sides of the home. As others had already discovered, the lime-and-cement walls were not built to last. Photos, some of which you can see in the gallery above, show the damage. The house had to be rebuilt — this time with wood walls — before tenants could move back in.In 1909 Emma died, and the house changed hands a few times over the next 15 years before PG&E scooped it up. When the NSCDA renovated it in the early 1950s, they decided to take out the first-floor walls, opening up the claustrophobic floor plan and moving the central staircase to the back of the house.Today, fewer than 70 octagon homes still stand in America, and the McElroy Octagon House is among the ones that offer tours. Free docent-led tours are available on the second Sunday and second and fourth Thursdays of each month. You can see the interior, though reconfigured, that the McElroy family loved so dearly.As for the octagon house ghost, it hasn't been heard from in some time. But the caretakers of the NSCDA had a plan, just in case."The State president of the Colonial Dames, Mrs. Lindley Miller of Hillsborough, has heard the ghost story," the Chronicle reported in 1953, "but figures that the society can always close the house on ghost-walking days."Related video: The nation's largest octagonal house is in Mississippi, and it was never finished
Although PG&E bought it in 1924, for decades the McElroy Octagon House remained one of the only homes in San Francisco without electricity.
PG&E wanted the home's Cow Hollow lot for a future substation, but while the plans dawdled, kids and ghosts moved in. Upstairs, a group of runaways from a local youth juvenile hall set up shop. And downstairs, a ghost paced.
Every Nov. 24, the neighborhood legend went, a person could be heard creaking up the staircase in the middle of the house. When the entity reached the 20th step, it let out an unearthly scream and a thump resounded through the home, like a body falling to the first floor.
No one, though, knew who the spirit belonged to. By the 1950s, property records were long lost and it was a city mystery as to who built an eight-sided home, among the rarest in America and just one of two left in San Francisco.
But all that changed in 1952 when the home was spared from demolition by the National Society of the Colonial Dames of America in California, a group that seeks to preserve historic buildings. PG&E agreed to sell them the home for $1 — and the savings were much-needed by the NSCDA. The home needed extensive renovations.
The next year, work began. An electrician was brought in to, finally, get lights in the place. And during drilling into an upstairs wall, he hit a tin box. Inside was a trove of papers that finally answered the question: Who on earth would build a house this strange?
Bob Campbell, San Francisco Chronicle
October 27, 1958: Rejuvenated Octagon House (aka the McElroy House), moved, landscaped and decorated. Located at 2548 Gough Street, between Union and Green Streets in San Francisco's Cow Hollow.
The octagon house trend was short-lived, and it's not hard to see why.
The original floor plan for the San Francisco home is a mess. You entered the home into a small triangular foyer bordered by doors on all three walls. Through one door, you went into the parlor. Through another was the dining room. Each room was cut off from the others by a series of doors, and the staircase up to the second floor was located, through more doors, in the very center of the house.
Art Frisch, San Francisco Chronicle
September 17, 1951: Stairway in the Octagon House (aka the McElroy House) . Located at 2548 Gough Street, between Union and Green Streets in San Francisco's Cow Hollow. It was stated that every Nov. 24, a ghost could be heard falling down the steps to the first landing.
The concept was the brainchild of phrenologist Orson Squire Fowler, who published "The Octagon House, A Home for All" in 1848.
In it, he claimed his octagon homes were cheaper to build and warmer due to their many windows (a real draw in foggy San Francisco). A few thousand homes were built around the nation before people realized its problems. Aside from the ridiculous floor plan, the inexpensive homes were made of lime and concrete, a combination that was apt to crack in freezing weather and collapse entirely in natural disasters.
The promise of octagonal living, though, was still a magical dream for the family who built the home on Gough Street. Inside the tin box found by the electrician was a time capsule left there by the McElroys almost 100 years before.
A letter, written by William C. McElroy, dated from July 1861. Three dozen newspaper clippings, mostly about the outbreak of the Civil War, were tucked inside, as was a tintype of the McElroy family: husband William and wife Harriet ("a very good Looking old Couple," William jokingly wrote) and daughter Emma.
The Chronicle wrote upon its discovery that McElroy's letter was penned "with pride, self-confidence and a disarming disregard for spelling and syntax."
In it, he explained how they came to San Francisco and built their dream home. Harriet came first, moving from Pennsylvania shortly after the start of the Gold Rush. William moved in the 1850s from Virginia, setting up shop as a miller. The pair met and married in 1859, the same year Harriet used her independent wealth to buy a lot on Gough for $2,500 (about $72,000 today).
Enamored with the octagon house phenomenon, they set to work building. Two years later, the home was ready. At the time, it had incredible views stretching in all directions of the burgeoning city. "I do not believe that, the world ever has furnished a parelell [sic] to our progress as a City in the Same time," William wrote.
"Look which ever way you will," he wrote, "and you observe happiness prosperity and wealth."
The home stayed in the McElroy family for 50 years. After William died in 1869, Harriet and Emma started taking in boarders. The 1880 census shows Harriet and Emma (then 27) living with a 20-year-old doctor and a young laundry worker. Emma, working as a teacher at a school on Broadway between Montgomery and Sansome, married shortly thereafter and moved with her aging mother to her husband's house on Guerrero.
From that time, the Octagon House became a rental. The McElroys rented it to many families, but the most famous was poet and journalist Daniel O'Connell. If his name doesn't sound familiar, his creation will: He was a co-founder of the Bohemian Club.
The decline of the Octagon House began in April 1906 when the earthquake destroyed whole sides of the home. As others had already discovered, the lime-and-cement walls were not built to last. Photos, some of which you can see in the gallery above, show the damage. The house had to be rebuilt — this time with wood walls — before tenants could move back in.
OpenSFHistory
People collect free clothing at a distribution center outside of the badly damaged McElroy Octagon House after the 1906 San Francisco earthquake.
In 1909 Emma died, and the house changed hands a few times over the next 15 years before PG&E scooped it up. When the NSCDA renovated it in the early 1950s, they decided to take out the first-floor walls, opening up the claustrophobic floor plan and moving the central staircase to the back of the house.
Today, fewer than 70 octagon homes still stand in America, and the McElroy Octagon House is among the ones that offer tours. Free docent-led tours are available on the second Sunday and second and fourth Thursdays of each month. You can see the interior, though reconfigured, that the McElroy family loved so dearly.
As for the octagon house ghost, it hasn't been heard from in some time. But the caretakers of the NSCDA had a plan, just in case.
"The State president of the Colonial Dames, Mrs. Lindley Miller of Hillsborough, has heard the ghost story," the Chronicle reported in 1953, "but [she] figures that the society can always close the house on ghost-walking days."
Related video: The nation's largest octagonal house is in Mississippi, and it was never finished


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