 What is "La-anago Yergis"?
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from Planet Stories May 1943. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] Characteristically, Harvey Ellsworth tried to maintain his dignity, though his parched tongue was almost hanging out. When Harvey staggered pontifically into the battered metalloy saloon—the only one on Planetoid 42—his tall, gangling partner was already stumbling out, mouthing something incoherent. "What is?" asked Harvey through a mouthful of cotton. In their hectic voyages from planet to planet, the pair of panacea purveyors had encountered the usual strange life-forms. Paying no attention to them, it was carrying a case of liquor in two hands, six siphons in two others, and a broom and dustpan in the remaining pair. The bartender, a big man resembling the plumpish Harvey in build, was leaning negligently on the counter, ordering this impossible being to fill the partly-emptied bottles, squeeze fruit juice and sweep the floor, all of which the native did simultaneously. Through thirst-cracked lips he rasped: "Water—quick!" The interplanetary con-men drank noisily, asked for more, until they had drunk eight glasses. "We purvey that renowned Martian remedy, La-anago Yergis , the formula for which was recently discovered by ourselves in the ancient ruined city of La-anago. Medical science is unanimous in proclaiming this magic medicine the sole panacea in the entire history of therapeutics." Our condenser broke down, and we've gone without water for five ghastly days." He came near starving and moved on to Titan. Ships don't land here unless they're in trouble." "Then where's the water lead-in? Water's five buckos a glass. "When there ain't many customers, you gotta make more on each one. It's bitter as some kinds of sin before it's purified. Have to bring it in with buckets and make it sweet. Waddya think—I was chargin' feller critters for water just out of devilment? "Friend," said Harvey, taking out a wallet and counting off eight five-bucko bills, "here is your money. What's fair is fair, and you have put a different complexion on what seemed at first to be an unconscionable interjection of a middleman between Nature and man's thirst." "If that's an apology, I accept it. I'm also justice of the peace, official recorder, fire chief...." "And chief of police, no doubt," said Harvey jocosely.
 It's a placebo. It's not real medicine.
 It's a panacea that can cure any ailment.  It's medicine. It's a cure for "asteroid fever."  It's purified water.  It's a placebo. It's not real medicine.