 What official positions do Miss Muehl and Retief hold on Groac?
You don't have to be crazy to be an earth diplomat—but on Groac it sure helps! [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from Worlds of If Science Fiction, March 1962. I "The Consul for the Terrestrial States," Retief said, "presents his compliments, et cetera, to the Ministry of Culture of the Groacian Autonomy, and with reference to the Ministry's invitation to attend a recital of interpretive grimacing, has the honor to express regret that he will be unable—" "You can't turn this invitation down," Administrative Assistant Meuhl said flatly. I've been tied up every off-duty hour since I got here—" "You can't offend the Groaci," Miss Meuhl said sharply. "Whaffle left here three months ago," Retief said, "leaving me in charge." "Well," Miss Meuhl said, snapping off the dictyper. "You've been here on Groac for four years, Miss Meuhl. "Mr. Retief, those are just the sort of questions we avoid with the Groaci. A Groacian bartender was dispensing clay pots of alcoholic drink from the bar-pit at the center of the room. "To enjoy a cooling drink," Retief said in Groacian, squatting down at the edge of the pit. Retief backed, rounded a corner into a narrow alley-like passage, deserted, silent ... except for the following Groacian. Miss Meuhl said, eyeing Retief over her lenses.
 Retief is Consul for the Terrestrial States. Miss Meuhl is his administrative assistant.
 Retief is Private Investigator for the Terrestrial States. Miss Meuhl is his administrative assistant.  Retief is Consul for the Groacian States. Miss Meuhl is Consul for the Terrestrial States.  Retief is Consul for the Terrestrial States. Miss Meuhl is his administrative assistant.  Retief is Internal Police. Miss Meuhl is his administrative assistant.