 Which is *not* a competitor to the Piltdon Can Opener?
Here's why you should ask for a "Feetch M-D" next time you get a can opener! [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from Worlds of If Science Fiction, August 1958. "The Piltdon Can-Opener is trailing the competition. "But Mr. Piltdon," remonstrated Feetch unsteadily under his employer's glare, "don't you remember? "For two years there hasn't been one lousy improvement in the Piltdon Can-Opener!" The International rips apart cans in three and three-tenths seconds. Our own Piltdon opener barely manages to open a can in eight point nine without chimes. "But Mr. Piltdon, our opener still has stability, solidity. It is built to last. It has dignity...." "Dignity," pronounced Piltdon, "is for museums. In four months I want a new can-opener that will be faster, lighter, stronger, flashier and more musical than any other on the market. I want it completely developed, engineered and tooled-up, ready for production. He had always wanted to devote all his time to research, but Piltdon Opener had not given him that opportunity. "We must work along classical can-opener lines. They began testing, Hanson operating the openers and Feetch clocking. It might seem that use of the proper gear ratios would give the required velocity, but there were too many other factors that negated this direct approach. Can-top resistance, internal resistance, cutting tooth performance, handle size and moment, the minimum strength of a woman's hand were some of the variables that had to be balanced within rigid limits. Sector type cutters, traversing several arcs at the same time, had seemed to offer the answer for a while, but the adjusting mechanism necessary to compensate for variable can sizes had been too complex to be practical. Twenty-five years of your life you put in with Piltdon, and he'd fire you just like that if you don't do the impossible. The Piltdon Company is built upon your designs and you get handed this deal!" Piltdon is a household word, but who has heard of Feetch? The machinist departed and Hanson locked the opener on a can. Likewise several corn cans, sweet potato cans and corned-beef hash cans, leaving their contents intact. I designed this opener with sixteen degree, twenty-two minute pressure angle modified involute gear teeth, seven degree, nineteen minute front clearance cutter angle and thirty-six degree, twelve minute back rake angle.
 Super-Opener
 International  Minerva Mighty Midget  Universal  Super-Opener