 What was on exhibit in the Groacian parade?
You don't have to be crazy to be an earth diplomat—but on Groac it sure helps! [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from Worlds of If Science Fiction, March 1962. I "The Consul for the Terrestrial States," Retief said, "presents his compliments, et cetera, to the Ministry of Culture of the Groacian Autonomy, and with reference to the Ministry's invitation to attend a recital of interpretive grimacing, has the honor to express regret that he will be unable—" "You can't turn this invitation down," Administrative Assistant Meuhl said flatly. I've been tied up every off-duty hour since I got here—" "You can't offend the Groaci," Miss Meuhl said sharply. "Well," Miss Meuhl said, snapping off the dictyper. "You've been here on Groac for four years, Miss Meuhl. The pale-featured Groacian vibrated his throat-bladder in a distressed bleat. "The impossibility of access to outworlders. Outside, Retief stood for a moment looking across at the deeply carved windowless stucco facades lining the street, then started off in the direction of the Terrestrial Consulate General. The few Groacians on the street eyed him furtively, veered to avoid him as he passed. Flimsy high-wheeled ground cars puffed silently along the resilient pavement. An elaborate one picked out in pinkish paint seemed to indicate the Groacian equivalent of a bar. A Groacian bartender was dispensing clay pots of alcoholic drink from the bar-pit at the center of the room. He looked at Retief and froze in mid-motion, a metal tube poised over a waiting pot. "To sample a true Groacian beverage." A tall Groacian vibrated his mandibles in a gesture of contempt. The other Groaci released him, hurried back inside. The Groacian advanced toward Retief. Retief backed into the opening to a narrow crossway and offered further verbal familiarities to the drunken local, who followed, furious. Retief backed, rounded a corner into a narrow alley-like passage, deserted, silent ... except for the following Groacian. "There are two gentlemen waiting to see you. Groacian gentlemen." Two Groaci wearing heavy eye-shields and elaborate crest ornaments indicative of rank rose as Retief entered the room. "One hour ago," The Groacian said, "a Groacian national was brought to hospital suffering from serious contusions. Investigation by my department indicates that the description of the culprit closely matches that of the Terrestrial Consul."
 people they had taken as prisoners
 Groacian government officials  people they had taken as prisoners  animals from all over the galaxy  people visiting from Earth