 Which is *not* a can-opener feature that Ogden Piltdon cares about?
"Feetch!" grated Ogden Piltdon, president of the Piltdon Opener Company, slamming the drafting board with his hairy fist, "I want results!" "The Piltdon Can-Opener is trailing the competition. "But Mr. Piltdon," remonstrated Feetch unsteadily under his employer's glare, "don't you remember? The International rips apart cans in three and three-tenths seconds. Our own Piltdon opener barely manages to open a can in eight point nine without chimes. "But Mr. Piltdon, our opener still has stability, solidity. It has dignity...." "Dignity," pronounced Piltdon, "is for museums. He had always wanted to devote all his time to research, but Piltdon Opener had not given him that opportunity. "We must work along classical can-opener lines. Can-top resistance, internal resistance, cutting tooth performance, handle size and moment, the minimum strength of a woman's hand were some of the variables that had to be balanced within rigid limits. Twenty-five years of your life you put in with Piltdon, and he'd fire you just like that if you don't do the impossible. The Piltdon Company is built upon your designs and you get handed this deal!" The machinist departed and Hanson locked the opener on a can. Likewise several corn cans, sweet potato cans and corned-beef hash cans, leaving their contents intact. Several days later, however, Piltdon himself charged into the drawing room and slapped Feetch heartily on the back, causing him to break a pencil point. "This," he exulted, "will make can-opener history. The Piltdon Super-Opener we'll call it." There's more here than just a new type can-opener, sir. The first tentative shipments of Piltdon Super-Openers had gone to distributors along the Eastern seaboard. Piltdon Opener went into peak production in three shifts, but was still unable to keep up with the demand. Department stores, lucky enough to have Super-Openers on hand, limited sales to one to a customer. Newspapers, magazines, radio, television and word-of-mouth spread the fame of the opener so that advertising was unnecessary. Receiving no satisfactory explanation from Piltdon, they set up their own research. Noted physicists probed, measured, weighed, traced, X-rayed, dissolved, spun, peered at, photographed, magnetized, exploded, shattered and analyzed Super-Openers without achieving the glimmer of a satisfactory explanation.
 Stability
 Lightweight  Musical  Speed  Stability