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National Etiquette Differences in Europe/Distinctions

Distinctions
As elsewhere, many people in Europe are proud of their distinct ethnic, national, religious, linguistic or cultural identity and may be insulted by those who fail to make the distinction. For example, a French-speaking Belgian may be offended if referred to as French person.

Although “lumping” people together is the biggest danger, sometimes “splitting” can be a faux pas as well. An example might be trying to discern whether someone is Irish Catholic or Anglo-Irish.

When in doubt, avoid characterizing people according to a cultural identity. Make inquiries regarding identity carefully (if at all).

Culture, Values and shared History
Europe is very similar in its national structures (institutions, legal and political organizations, even the political inclinations tend to work in waves across the continent) and infrastructures (roads, rails and other mass transportation, police, departments, health and education, waste, water and energy). This is due not only to proximity and historical events from wars to efforts to pacify and homogenates this multi-faced multicultural continental unit.

The efforts to homogenates Europe started even before the Roman Empire, then proceeded under it's surviving Christian religion that put the Pope (literally the Bishop of Rome) as king maker in Western Europe. The rest was divided by the Orthodox and later on the Protestant movement. All leading to a multitude of Kingdoms that to a point came to define the nations that exist today, most even shared rulers due to dynastic intermarriages for peace, power and territory. The Napolionic wars started the downfall of many monarchies and by the time of the industrial revolution a push for normalization, social reforms and rule of law across boarders was generalized. By the end of WWI the collapse of the remaining ultramarine empires was underway and a re-focus on the continent itself was unavoidable, especially after the devastation caused by the conflict and the influenza pandemic. This time is also marked the coming of age of the more Westernized ex-colonies, that filled the void during the time of conflict and started the processed of establishing a proper international law system. After WWII, under the increasing pressure by the United States and the UK, now afraid of the expansion of communism as Russia had just assured the allied victory, worked under the Council of Europe (1949) and later the European Union (EU, 1993), with the auspices of bringing Europe closer together for peace, security, reconstruction and economical prosperity. The EU was itself a descended of the Treaty of Brussels (1948), that also lead later to NATO (1949).

All this coming together was intended to present a common front if not even to prepare for the next conflict, that ultimately originate in the reneging of promisees made (in the Tehran Conference and Yalta Conference, participated by The "Big Three"; Winston Churchill, Franklin D. Roosevelt and Joseph Stalin) to Stalin (Russia, USSR) and thwart its responsive advances West and in Asia (Japan, Korea), especially now that the "soviets" also had the atom bomb. These actions later culminated in the creation of North Korea (1946-1948) the Greek Civil War (1946 to 1949) and a myriad of other conflicts that simmered to the public awareness with the rise of the Berlin wall as the de facto evidence of a Cold war.
 * It is important not to "lump" a nationality, ethnicity, province/region and linguistic group together. I.e. to talk about the "Dutch" to cover both the Netherlands and Belgians, as well never to "split" peoples like one to discuss "Flemings" apart from "Walloons" in Belgium and that from the "Nederlanders". This is an insensitive practice associated with inflammable nationalist rhetoric. They also carry a weight of bigotry, prejudice and cultural intolerance against brethren who are proud of their culture and/or rather identify with their country.
 * Europeans do not like the idea of dictatorships: many Europeans experienced single party Communist regimes (i.e. East Germany, Albania, Poland and Romania) and Fascism, prevalently in most the southern half (i.e. Germany, France, Italy, Spain, Portugal and Greece) in the 20th century. Also countries with royalty as heads of state (i.e. Scandinavia, the Netherlands and Great Britain), treat them with high honors and respect. In a region that previously was divided in kingdoms, most Royals have ceded right of rule to their subject people and government.
 * Ethnic and national pride is common, but one must avoid chauvinism and favor patriotism of uniting peoples regardless of their ethnic and national origin. "English" and "British" or "Holland" and "the Netherlands" are NOT the same thing! For examples, the Welsh in Wales, the Basque in northern Spain and the Occitans in Southern France, may hold ethnic pride. But others may express pride of being British, or "Anglo-Saxon" named for the first Germanic settlers of England; others French or "Gallic" named for their Latinized Celtic ancestors though the name "France" is derived from West Germanic Franks. Many Basque identify themselves as "Spaniards" by nationality, but fewer are "Castilian" because they don't hail from Castile whom are a "Latin" Romance-speaking people. But today, more Europeans express themselves as Europeans thus a polyglot cultural entity.
 * Also in Europe race issues are not common; slavery was abolished early on and intermingling of races was always a non issue. Europeans heavily shuns racism against minorities, national chauvinism, ethnic hatred and intolerance of language differences, sexual orientation and women's equal rights. The experiences of World Wars I and II (esp. Poland, Germany, and Austria who experienced Hitler, the Nazis and racist/ethnicist agendas and Russia who experienced Lenin) is a horrible reminder for modern Europe to "never again" repeat such horrors. There is "hate crime" legislation to protect people from violence or harassment by individuals, and International Law and courts can be used to penalize those who use governments for this purpose. Note that recently radicalism by a minority of Muslims and an increased level of immigration mostly from Turkey, Pakistan has indeed exacerbated xenophobic discourse and animated immigration policy discussions regarding the burden of costs of handling illegal immigrants at Europe's periphery and the tightening of requirements for asylum.
 * Europeans respect language usage choices, differences among them (i.e. dialects) and bilingualism/multilingual practices in the governments and social life of Belgium (French and Dutch with some German), Switzerland (German, French, Italian and Romansch), Ireland (English and Irish- a form of Gaelic), Finland (Finnish and Swedish) and so on. National governments and the European Union (EU) Charter of Human Rights now respect an ethno-linguistic group's right to protect, promote and even revive a language if necessary.
 * Politics is a topic that can go bad, though Europe (esp. France and the UK, and nowadays Germany) emphasizes social democracy and fair transfer of power through peaceful and non-corrupt means. Human rights, international peace efforts and cultural exchanges in the form of Eurovision is more popular ways for Europeans to become closer together. Euro Cup and World Cup football (soccer) and other sports have international competition, but are light-hearted though pro sports leagues and team fanfare can be heated.
 * And religion is another topic not to be taken lightly, though most Europeans are not as dogmatic in religious observance. There is more religious diversity, tolerance of churches and minority sects, and the separation of church and state is serious policy. Religious conflicts sometimes fueled by politics and ancient ethnic hatreds like in Northern Ireland, civil wars and breakup of the former Yugoslavia, and the rise of Islam in Europe (particularly France, Switzerland and the UK) based more on xenophobia, are emotionally charged issues.
 * Topics about sexuality has lessened from the Victorian Age (in Britain's case in the 19th century) than in the USA continually held onto "puritan" mores of sexual behavior. But European culture remains close to older rules of etiquette handed down in generations even though some of the rules changed by social unrest in the 20th century, and the young tend to alter them in the 21st century.

Multiculturalism
The notion of multiculturalism is widely accepted among the European population and there is a considerable understanding about how different rules apply to different peoples. Accordingly, expecting (for example) a Hasidic Jew to remove his hat when visiting a Church or to badger a Muslim or Hindu to accept food that violates her/his dietary laws is a faux pas that would offend many Europeans regardless of their own denominational backgrounds.

Special advice for Americans

 * It is worth noting that American Foreign Policy is a deeply emotional issue for Americans but even more for the rest of the world, due to US international economic and military status, influence and actions. Even friends who believe they share similar political viewpoints can quickly find themselves in contention when the topic is discussed. Americans should try to remember that seemingly anti-American statements may not be intended to offend and are rarely directed to the American people, but toward the US government/corporations. On the other hand, statements by Americans politicians are often taken in the most negative way. Another topic is the influence of American popular culture, esp. in France and other European countries with the most contact with the USA, on concerns in replacing older local cultures.

 * Perhaps the only helpful advice for Americans in this arena is not to start any political discussions in foreign countries, particularly in hotels, pubs, airports or in the street. If another person starts a political discussion, it would be best to admit you know little about the issue being raised, and then change the subject. If you are in a group and someone raises a political issue, it is best to listen to the debate and maintain a noble silence, or withdraw from the group if you prefer to be doing something else. An exception would be in private family, and a gathering of people of a political party or campaign group, of which you are a member or are sympathetically aligned.

 * In Europe, the term soccer is replaced by football. Football, as it exists in the USA, is called American football. Also, "hockey" generally refers to "field hockey" with the other form being called "ice hockey".

 * Freedom of speech is important but moderated by article 17 of the European Convention on Human Rights which states that one cannot abuse of the freedom of speech if it goes against the other fundamental human rights like equality between races, faith or sexual orientation. Most European countries have laws against racist, antisemitic, homophobic... public speech.


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National Etiquette Differences in Europe/Rules of Etiquette

Eating

 * It is often impolite to begin eating before others are ready to begin, or to eat in front of another person without offering to share. Typically all wait for the host, eldest person present or guest of honor to say "let's begin" in some way.
 * In a situation such as a large banquet table or a restaurant where the waiter has failed to bring all food to the table at the same time, it is gracious to insist that others begin eating first while their meals are still warm.
 * It is good manners to hold the knife in the right hand and the fork in the other throughout the meal. This contrasts with the "zig zag method" that is a hallmark of good table manners in the USA. Crossing one's cutlery on the plate means one is taking a break but has not finished eating. Upon finishing a meal, the knife and fork should be left more or less parallel or else it hints that one hasn't eaten enough.
 * Resting one's hands under the table or one's elbow on it is considered inappropriate.

Flowers

 * In many areas of Europe, even numbers of flowers fewer than a dozen are appropriate only for funerals. This rule does not apply to larger arrangements. Also, certain flowers (such as chrysanthemums) are given only at funerals and most florists will advise against them. As red roses typically connote romantic feeling, they are inappropriate for other circumstances.

Gestures

 * Avoid hand gestures with which one is unfamiliar; many hand gestures are impolite. Also, some gestures have different meanings in different cultures.  For example, a variation of the thumb-to-index finger "okay" sign is an obscene gesture in some European countries.

Handshakes

 * Shaking hands while wearing gloves is widely considered impolite. This does not apply to gloves for women designed to be worn indoors.

Hats and coats

 * Among many segments of the European population, it is considered rude for men to wear hats or other head coverings indoors, especially in regard to churches, private homes and respected public institution.
 * Anyone wearing coats, boots and other outer garments inside someone’s home is often frowned upon as well. Sitting down at the table to eat with a hat, outerwear or other inappropriate attire is even worse.
 * These rules are sometimes disregarded if the head wear is worn for religious purposes such as a Jewish Kippah, or a Muslim's headscarf.

Language

 * Rules of language belong more to a language textbook than this article, but do remember that some languages mark familiarity and/or respect using methods such as the T-V distinction. This often applies to common phrases such as "how are you?", that are sometimes learned in isolation (such as from phrase books).
 * Addressing people with the inappropriately familiar form may be seen as derogatory, insulting, or even aggressive. Conversely, forms that are inappropriately formal may be seen as impolitely snobbish.

Luck

 * Some things formerly prohibited by superstitions surrounding bad luck remain as examples of bad manners. Opening an umbrella indoors and accepting a light for a cigarette after two others are two examples.

Money

 * Talking or asking about one's personal wealth, possessions is viewed as vulgar and abusive of one's privacy. Even enquiring how successful one is in business is reserved to close relations. People will rarely say how much money they make or have in the bank, nor will they request such information from someone else. It is also impolite to ask colleagues about their salary. Even where the salary are publicly known, like with governmental employees', it is still considered extremely rude to ask or openly discuss how much individuals earn.

Names

 * In many parts of Europe, it is inappropriate to use someone's first name until a certain level of friendship is attained. Typically, this formality is maintained until one person, typically the elder of the two or generally one with higher standing in society (for example woman to man, elder to younger, bood on company occasions to employee etc.), says “you may call me (first name)” and the other person responds in kind. Even in areas where this guideline holds true it probably doesn't apply among people below a certain age group nor in some very informal settings.

Pointing

 * Pointing at people with the index finger is widely regarded as at least mildly impolite. Pointing with the entire hand is more commonly accepted. Pointing with the middle finger is an obscene gesture in most European countries.

Seating

 * Good manners dictate that in most situations, people in apparent good health surrender their seats to the elderly, handicapped people and pregnant women. Men often surrender their seats to women regardless of other factors.

Socks

 * White socks, including the style associated with athleticism in the USA, are widely regarded as inappropriate to wear with anything else than sneakers and may prompt snickering. Tennis courts are a specific exception. Men wearing socks with sandals (including Crocs) would also be a source of amusement, except in Germany.

Visiting

 * Many Europeans feel it is rude to visit someone's home without bringing a token gift such as sweets, a small toy for the host's child, a beverage to be shared, a book they know the host will enjoy, or flowers. Even young people who observe this custom less stringently enjoy being on the receiving end.
 * This custom holds true whether answering an invitation or dropping by unexpectedly, although the latter is almost certainly a faux pas unless the host has previously indicated that such surprise visits are welcome.

Weddings

 * In some European wedding traditions, wearing white is reserved for the bride. Women especially should avoid dressing in white or colors that could be mistaken for white in a dimly lit banquet hall. White combined with other colors (such as a white blouse with an outfit) is fine. Avoid wearing a dress more elegant or ostentatious than the bride's own.
 * Black is not very appropriate for weddings. Dark blue and dark brown are fine. Men in black suits should balance that with an element such as a brightly colored neck tie to avoid looking like one is dressed for a funeral.
 * In some European countries, it's customary to wear the wedding band on the right hand, in others on the left hand, and in some cultures with the groom wearing the band on his right and the bride on her left. Widows and widowers often move the band to the other hand.
 * Engagement bands in lieu of stone-set engagement rings are customary in some places, for both the man and the woman. These are often smaller, and most often go on the opposite hand of the wedding bands.

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