“I never thought I would live this long”.  That’s what Marsha’s mom says about being 97. It’s great that she has survived a heart attack, a broken hip 2 years ago, and a brush with cancer. Aggressive medical care got her through all of those episodes.  Marsha loves her mom, and is glad she’s still around. No one planned for mom being unable to afford her own living expenses. The pension left for mom, calculated 50 years ago, seemed like enough at the time. In today’s dollars, it’s peanuts.  That meager pension and Social Security are all mom has now. And at 97, she needs help with cooking, shopping and taking her bath. One broken hip from that fall in the bathroom was enough to make her aware that she can’t bathe by herself anymore. She is still sharp, and she pays her bills on time.  Mom used her savings to cover the cost of the caregiver who comes in three times a week to help with the basics. It helps a lot, and mom is still able to stay in her own house. Her home is where she feels secure. She is glad to be able to manage there and wants to stay. But in two years, she used up all of what she had saved.  The recent call mom made to Marsha was a shock: “Dear, I just don’t have enough to pay the caregiver next month.”  Marsha knew mom was getting low on funds, but she just didn’t do anything. The thought was too upsetting and Marsha has enough financial worries of her own. Now, what?  When Marsha called me at AgingParents.com to discuss this, and to try to figure out what to do, I had to deliver the bad news: Though mom is eligible for Medicaid, as she has exhausted her savings, Medicaid may not pay for the caregiver.  Unless mom can get into a special program in her state for low income seniors to get limited help at home, and there are still funds in the program, she may not get any help at all. The county where mom lives has cut funding to this program, which has been scheduled to end three times so far. The “in home support” benefit, which means paid caregivers for disabled elders like Marsha’s mom, may not survive the next round of budget talks.  So what are Marsha’s alternatives for her mom?  There are few choices. One is to take mom into her own home and sell mom’s house to pay for the caregiver. No one wants that. Marsha loves her mom, but as she puts it, “I’m just not a good caregiver. I don’t have the patience”.  Another option is to pay for the caregiver herself, but that would be a hardship. Marsha is divorced and is struggling to cover her own expenses, much less take care of mom’s expenses.
When your aging parent outlives her money, you have decisions to make.  Should you have her move in?  Support her care?  Learning about their limited  choices is sobering for low income elders.  Boomers can avoid the pitfalls your parents make with good long term financial planning for yourself.