LONDON — Twitter is not normally a place for stories longer than a few sentences, but this British writer's tale of how he accidentally discovered two strangers having sex while out walking his dog is the perfect exception.  It all started when UK-based writer Joe Craig took to Twitter Wednesday to hint that something big had happened to him the night before.  A thing happened to me last night & I think you'll enjoy it, but I'll tell you later. Not suitable for lunch time, but remind me later.  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 27, 2016  I think it's probably late enough now. Do you want to hear the thing that happened to me?  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  The stage was set, the anticipation was built, and when Craig finally came out with his story in the early hours of Thursday morning, it certainly didn't disappoint.  I was walking my dog round East Finchley, late, two nights ago. Chasing foxes, that kind of thing. And I heard a noise.  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  I heard muffled screaming & saw the boot of a car rattling. Oh no, I thought - someone's trapped in the boot!  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  It was a small hatchback. A renault clio, I think. But still big enough that someone could conceivably be trapped in the boot.  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  (The boot of the car is the trunk, for my American compadres.)  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  Couldn't see inside the car cos it was dark but as I got closer I was sure that there were screams coming from the boot. Urgent screams.  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  My rushed up to the car, pulling my dog with me. The whole car was rattling. "I have to set this person free!" I thought. BUT...  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  I have to do it quickly in case the person who's trapped them comes back. This is DANGEROUS but I am A HERO. My dog is too. Both heroes.  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  In a swift, dynamic movement I flung open the boot of the car. The boot light came on. I was staring into the face of a woman!  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  On top of the woman was a man. Also naked.  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  They'd put the back seats down & were lying the full length of the car, heads in the boot.  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  The woman was clinging on to the boot, rattling it while she screamed. For very different reasons than the ones I had assumed from outside.  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  Except now she was no longer screaming, because she was looking up at me, horrified. As was the man. I was holding the boot open.  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  What does one say in that situation?  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  I'll tell you what I said. I said: "Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I thought you were trapped. Like a hostage. Because of the screaming and...  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  ...the rattling. But I see now you don't need my help. Either of you. And that this is the good kind of screaming. Sorry. Do carry on."  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  It was words to that effect, anyway. I admit I babbled a bit. I didn't want them to think I was just a weirdo pervert bursting in on them.  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  I also wanted to offer a little encouragement.  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  Then I started to close the boot - carefully. I didn't want to trap anything. Unfortunately, my dog is very well trained...  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  And my dog loves car journeys.  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  So before I could close the boot, Harpo (my dog) did what he's been trained to do when someone opens the boot of a hatchback.  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  My dog jumped into the boot. Sort of next-to (but mainly on-top-of) the faces of the two copulating strangers.  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  Now it was too late to close the boot. There was more screaming - but not the good kind.  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  Obviously I can't undo Harpo's training, so I said, "Good boy."  Which I think gave the wrong impression.  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  After that I made a swift exit. I remembered to take the dog with me. I didn't wait around to hear more screaming & rattling.  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  And THAT is the funny thing that happened to me the other night, with my dog, in East Finchley.  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  Brilliant. All in all, this person summed the whole anecdote up pretty well.  @joecraiguk I can't think of anything more British than awkwardly apologising while standing in front of people shagging in a car boot!  — Daisy Buchanan (@NotRollergirl) January 28, 2016  UPDATED 28 JANUARY 13:40: Here's a bit more information about Craig's dog.  I should probably have mentioned he's a very large dog.  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  Oh, the things this poor boy has seen/done/sat on/tasted. #harpo pic.twitter.com/NOE4MFy5bp  — Joe Craig (@joecraiguk) January 28, 2016  You can find out more about Craig's writing on his website.  Have something to add to this story? Share it in the comments.
A British man has shared the hilariously awkward story of how he stumbled across a couple having sex in a car.