Office Outsider wraps up this month with the final column from an American woman working at a mid-sized Korean company. Read her previous columns here. Follow her on Twitter@Foreignne  When I first started this job, I envisioned working side-by-side with my Korean colleagues in happy unity. At my previous job teaching English at a public school near Seoul, I experienced feeling cut off from my Korean counterparts. With no desk in the teachers office, I spent free periods alone in my classroom. I sat alone at lunch and usually wasn’t invited to post-work outings. I felt closer to the students than to the other teachers.  I’m not a shy person but I felt isolated–by more than just a language barrier. I think the other teachers considered me to be not a real employee, and it’s true that working as a native English teacher is inherently different from being a regular teacher, with different requirements, duties, and benefits, such as included housing. And the school, forced to hire me to meet government requirements, didn’t really know what to do with me, so I was given no training and very little responsibility. I passed hours and days with no classes at all. My coworkers seemed to resent me somewhat, and I don’t blame them.  So when I joined a company as a regular employee, alongside a score of Korean new hires, I hoped things would be different. However, I received special treatment right from the start. On the very first day, when I entered the dormitory at training camp, I saw only one bed in a four-person room: one bed for the foreigner, while my three Korean roommates were made to sleep on the floor.  I had never requested a bed, so it was unexpected. Besides these occasional, baffling instances of special treatment, I receive an excessive amount of special attention because I’m foreign. Certain bosses decided from the start to shower me with praise, long before I had a chance to actually earn their respect. At company outings I’m usually called on to give a toast in front of the group. And the company president frequently chats with me in the elevator, which never fails to shock my peers.  In other words, while I had dreamed of being a normal employee, of fitting in, that is not the case. But I believe any benefits I might glean from this special treatment are far outweighed by the vague sense of unease and resentment I feel emanating from my fellow employees. And this heightened awareness of me manifests itself in negative ways as well: For one, I receive a lot more unwanted attention from male colleagues than the other women in the office. I don’t believe for a second that it’s because I’m somehow more desirable, but rather because they do not think the same rules of conduct apply to me.  More importantly, my managers seem to have unrealistically high expectations of me, as though I am the result of some policy decision for the company to become more global, and everyone is anxiously waiting for me to bring about the anticipated result.  But I am just one employee, a newbie, with no prior experience in this field. I am also still learning about Korea’s culture, language, and workplace practices. I realize I might need a little more help than my Korean colleagues, but in place of special treatment, I desire what I think is the kind of training and support that would allow me to succeed. Instead of equality, I request fairness. For instance, the company provides group English lessons for employees, so I asked for Korean classes. However, the company countered that since I would be the only participant, the cost per student would be too high. Well, it was worth a shot.  For entirely unrelated reasons, I will soon be leaving this job after working here for over a year. I have learned a lot from this experience, and I’m closer to being at home in this country that I love than I was before. But I know that as I foreigner I will likely never truly fit in, even if I spend the rest of my life trying. But I also know that it’s not just about fitting in–it’s about adapting where you can and making the most of your unique qualities, of maximizing your advantage as an outsider.  The WSJ is now on LINE. Scan to follow or click “Add Friends” from your mobile device to add our official account.  Also popular on Korea Real Time now:  Former Korean Air Executive Faces Judgment Over Flight Delay  North Korea Downplays Lack of ‘Flashy Lights’  For the latest news and analysis, follow @WSJAsia
In her final article for Korea Real Time, our Officer Outsider columnist writes about her plans to leave her Korean employer and reflects on her unfulfilled expectations of fitting in.