Did we really expect this story to end any other way?  After 14 tumultuous years in development, first-person shooter Duke Nukem Forever has finally seen the light of day, thanks to publisher 2K and studio Gearbox Software. However, what has emerged from the shadows is an outdated, painfully lackluster adventure.  Fresh off saving Earth from an alien invasion, Duke Nukem finds himself a celebrity, relaxing in his mansion with his schoolgirl Holsom Twins. But the aliens have returned to Earth again to kidnap the planet's women, and it's up to Duke to save them.  Longtime fans of Duke Nukem are well aware the story isn't exactly meant to be thought-provoking. It's supposed to be simple, raunchy, over-the-top fun.  There's one problem: It forgot the fun part. At its worst, it borders on offensive (i.e. -- cigarettes that feature British slang but are rather used to reference homosexuality). At its best, it's corny and juvenile. Duke sounds so cheesy when rattling off one-liners. ""Not my idea of a good screw," says Duke after loosening a bolt during one level. After killing off a couple of enemies, Duke shouts, "Looks like Lady Luck just gave you the finger."  Developers try to modernize Duke's dialogue with other quotes (a couple references to Team America: World Police and Old School), but hearing him say things like "You're my boy, Blue," will induce more cringes than chuckles. It feels as if developers were trying really hard to make Duke sound cool, and instead he's the exact opposite.  To thwart these aliens, Duke will use an interesting array of weapons, including shotguns, pistols, rocket launchers an assault rifle called the Ripper, Shrink Rays, Freeze Rays and a host of other alien firearms. The game is a mix of first-person combat, platforming and vehicle-based levels.  Duke will use his Ego, which serves as a shield, to keep him alive. Players can quickly fill Duke's Ego by executing enemies or performing other tasks such as sitting on a photocopier and making copies, urinating in a toilet, or checking out a porn magazine.  Duke can also pick up power-ups such as Beer to boost his toughness (it also blurs his vision a bit) and Steroids to quickly punch through alien foes.  For a character that's supposed to be as audacious as Duke Nukem, the action in Forever is absolutely dull. Visually, the game looks stale. Structures such as buildings appear generic and lack finer details.  As for the combat, it's mostly weak. The action should be as explosive as the character, so when you watch a car blow up and only get the payoff of a tiny cloud of smoke, it's disappointing. And even when there is a massive blast, the game begins to slow down considerably.  There was also the battle against a giant alien ship. After dealing the final strike with a rocket launcher, it begins to veer toward the tower Duke stands on. It hits the tower, breaks into about three or four pieces, then disappears in a small poof of smoke.  But there is a decent selection of enemies, such as pigcops and Octabrains that fly around and zap Duke. Boss battles are pretty basic. There's no special trick to any of them other than finding a rocket launcher or other heavy weapon and keeping the right trigger pressed down.  But be warned: Avoid dying in this game. The load screens are unbearable, and frequent when you consider they happen between levels, too.  Duke Nukem Forever also features some platforming, both on foot and by vehicle. Some sections star a full-sized Duke, while a few require the hero to shrink down to advance. What they all share is their focus on boring the player to tears. Most of the vehicular levels -- which include monster trucks and a toy race car -- require Duke to simply drive to the next section, maybe knocking down an enemy or two in the process.  Platforming is just as dreadful, with the exception of a level featuring a miniature Duke navigating a Duke Burger by hopping on spatulas and shooting through relish jars.  Again, this game screams for an action experience as outrageous as the hero, and it simply falls flat.  Once players wrap up the 10-15 hour campaign, there's a pretty standard multiplayer mode featuring four match types: deathmatch, team deathmatch, Capture the Babe (capture the flag) and king of the hill.  Give Gearbox credit for launching a game many thought would never hit a store shelf. However, a lot has changed in video games since Duke Nukem Forever was revealed in the '90s. Unfortunately, the game's lead character doesn't seem to have followed along.  Publisher: 2K GamesDeveloper: Gearbox SoftwarePlatform(s): PC, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360Price: $59.99Rating: M for MatureRelease Date: June 14, 2011Score: 1.5 stars (out of 4)
Review: 'Duke Nukem Forever' an action disaster - Game Hunters: In search of video games and interactive awesomeness - USATODAY.com - Game Hunters: In search of video games and interactive awesomeness