I DON’T enjoy flying as I used to. But who does?  Fred O'Regan, president of the International Fund for Animal Welfare, with Quincy, a golden retriever puppy.  I got a card from an airline telling me I am now a member of their million-mile club. A few days after receiving the card, I tried to use it to get into the airline’s lounge. They wouldn’t let me in. I had an upgrade to first class, and because I was an “upgrade” passenger, rather than someone who had paid full fare, I wasn’t welcome.  I think that’s kind of a metaphor for flying nowadays.  But I can’t complain too much, since I’ve had some bizarre experiences that far outweigh any problems I encounter now.  I was in Guinea-Bissau, waiting for a plane to Portugal. I would then travel from Portugal back to Washington.  There’s nothing in Guinea-Bissau. Even places like Gambia, where a plane passes by every few days and lands only if the airport staff goes out and waves it down, were modern by comparison.  Once the plane arrived, I boarded and we took off.  But about 10 minutes into the flight, the plane decelerated so suddenly that anything that wasn’t strapped down went flying through the air. The man next to me lost his glass of Scotch. And the plane went pitch black.  One of the pilots came out of the cockpit with a flashlight. I figured this couldn’t be good.  He moved over to one of the windows and examined the engine for what seemed like a long time. You could almost see him thinking, “Well, we could turn around, but there’s nothing in Guinea-Bissau. We’d be stuck there, so we might as well try and make Portugal.”  Apparently, he concluded that we could make it to Portugal. We flew at a low altitude and reduced speed the rest of the way. The flight took two hours longer than usual, but all the passengers were very quiet.  We arrived intact. So I figured everything would be smooth from there on out.  In Portugal, I was about to board my flight when an enormous commotion broke out in the waiting area.  A man, possibly love-struck, was trying to beg his way onto the plane. He had no ticket but wanted to get to someone who was already on board. He kept screaming “meu amor,” which means “my love.” The flight crew refused, and the man then started rolling around on the ground.  Security had to forcibly remove the guy. I figured things had to get better now. And I was expecting a noneventful flight.  I happened to be sitting next to a pilot, and I told him the story of my harrowing flight to Portugal. He said the pilot of that plane was most likely looking for the source of an engine warning light when he came out with that flashlight and peered through the windows. The pilot then said that no pilot wants to feel vibrations in the aircraft since those vibrations could possibly bring down the plane.  I kept thinking how lucky I was as we moved down the runway.  We were about halfway down the runway when the cabin began to shake. All I kept thinking was that I had just learned that vibrations aren’t good.  The pilot slammed on the brakes and we came to a screeching halt. Then a bus came to pick us up.  I later learned that the engine had a problem. If we had taken off, there was a good chance we would not have been able to land.  I finally made it to Washington relatively unscathed.  Everyone who flies a lot has those stories. But it helps to remember them now and again, if for nothing else than to keep travel misery in perspective.  By Fred ORegan, as told to Joan Raymond. E-mail: joan.raymond@nytimes.com.
Safe landings after a few in-flight scares help keep the mind off the discomforts of modern air travel.