Here we are in Thumbsucker Central in Boston's Fleet Center, overlooking the Democratic convention as the unthinkable -- an unpredictable roll call of the states -- is about to begin.  A brief recap for those of you who tuned out after the front-loaded Democratic primaries turned into a long, hard slog. After the New Hampshire results were in, John ''Bring It On!'' Kerry maintained his (professedly unwanted) front-runnership, but Howard ''Yee-haw!'' Dean recovered strongly from his Iowa waker-upper. John ''Two Americas, Count 'Em!'' Edwards and Wesley ''Call Me General'' Clark were nicely positioned for their South Carolina comebacks, and those of us in the pundit dodge began to dream of this dramatic moment.  Then came the March 2 ''coastal divide,'' with New York going for Kerry and California for Dean. That split led to this: No more the boring convention with dreary speeches, oleaginous biodocumentaries and unspontaneous demonstrations. Here in Boston tonight, all the world is tuned in as Democratic power brokers wheel and deal in their smoke-free rooms. New Mexico's governor, Bill Richardson, chosen to be permanent chair of the convention to counter Bush's near-amnesty bid for Latino votes, is rapping the gavel. . . .  The dispute within that delegation is between the supporters of Edwards, the ''good young boy,'' and a man dressed in an argyle sweater over a Bosnian uniform waving a Clark sign. Let's turn to the pundit from Black News, the network so lugubriously named when Conrad Black, megamedia's comeback kid, wrested control of Fox News from Rupert Murdoch:  ''The fight is over a basket of old Avis buttons because Edwards and Clark are battling for the No. 2 spot on a Kerry or Dean ticket.''  That competition is for the Southernization of any ticket with a New Englander at the top. The general's forces are calling his home state ''Clarkansaw,'' while the youthful trial lawyer's plaintive pitch to be the running mate centers on ''I gave up my Senate seat to run, and now I represent all those folks who really need a job.'' But the V.P. nomination will turn on who can deliver more delegates to the two men in front, neither of whom has the needed 2,162 delegates needed for a majority. First to Kerry headquarters:  ''Edwards has more state delegates pledged to him than Clark, and would be more loyal to Kerry than the general, but Clark has more of the P.L.E.O.'s.''  Our acronymic reporter refers to Party Leaders and Elected Officials, unelected delegates who make up 15 percent of the convention. These party hacks are controlled by power brokers whose cellphone numbers I will now punch up. To the Old-Left Liberal P.B.: What say you?  ''I'm yanking the chain of my delegates to go for Kerry-Edwards, liberal but not unelectable.''  To the D.N.C., McAuliffe, P.P.I. centrists: Your preference?  ''We're happier with Kerry-Clark, because Edwards is a spellbinder who could mount a challenge to the Restoration four years from now.''  What's notable is the absence of any offer by Kerry to Dean, to create a unity ticket à la Kennedy-Johnson or Reagan-Bush. To the Dean P.B.: Would Howard consider the role of running mate?  ''Never. Edwards and Clark will hold their delegates past the first ballot -- there goes Wyoming, and still no majority -- and we'll start to pick off Kerry delegates on the second.''  What makes you so sure the tide will turn?  ''Because we'll threaten to bolt if we don't win, and there would go Kerry's 'electability' argument. If Iraq breaks up next month, or if the market tanks or bin Laden rises again, our independent party -- only party that was against the war -- would have a chance to win.''  Or Dean could secretly offer the No. 2 spot to both Clark and Edwards and get their delegates, but then name Kerry, who couldn't refuse if Lieberman gave the double double-cross his blessing. Delicious.  But wait -- what's that call booming out over the loudspeakers, reminiscent of the 1940 ''voice from the sewer'' of F.D.R.'s third-term conclave?  The chair has lost control of the floor and delegates are snaking through the aisles, shouting, ''We Want Hillary!'' All deals are off; we have the politicians' nightmare and the pundits' dream -- an open convention!
William Safire Op-Ed column on scene at Democratic presidential convention if neither Sen John Kerry or Howard Dean have majority of delegates; sees Democratic power brokers wheeling and dealing to trade vice presidential nomination for John Edwards or Wesley Clark delegates, possibly upset by surge for Hillary Clinton (M)