11/15/2015 AT 04:20 PM EST  In an interview with the  last week to promote her new book  opened up about her dedication to her fitness and how a trip to the gym kept her sane while estranged husband  , and finally everyone was saying, 'Khloé, you have to get out of the hospital and just for an hour, go to the gym and do something that's for you. Nothing's going to happen to Lamar,' " she recalled. "I had such anxiety going to the gym, but as soon as I left, and  and I worked out with my trainer, I felt like, 'Oh my god, I'm okay. I'm a human again!' "  The reality star, 31, added, "I just felt so good. But for those three-and-a-half weeks, I didn't think about the gym because I was thinking about other things, and I don't beat myself up about it."  Kardashian also shared that it was another emotional turning point in her life that initially kicked off her love for fitness.  "I was going through a really difficult time in my life, and I was just figuring out if I was going to file for divorce or not. It wasn't about weight at all. It was that I needed a stress reliever, and I didn't know where else to go where I felt alone and safe, but I still wanted to be around people," she said. "My house obviously had all of these emotions and things in it ... [The gym] was just the safest place where I still got that emotional release."  She continued, "Then the side effects started happening. I started losing weight, and I started really enjoying the workout process. It was definitely gradual and it took time."
The reality star says it was a struggle to leave her estranged husband's bedside to go to the gym