Determining where to draw the line on friendship with those you manage – or those who manage you – seems more complicated than ever. In a recent study, 6 out of 10 managers admitted that they were uncomfortable being friended on Facebook by their bosses or employees. We’ve all heard stories, or seen personally, how an inappropriate social media photo or post can cause negative professional repercussions.  One study found that 1 in 10 people between 16 and 34 have been turned down for a job because of photos or comments they posted on social media. I believe the actual number is far higher. Any smart hiring manager will tell you they do an online search of a candidate before hiring them.  Yet while conventional – and one might say traditional – wisdom says that we should avoid building friendships across reporting lines, current leadership practices embrace connection and openness. In real life, the actual line between personal and professional lives is very thin. After all, we want to work with people we know and like. As for reporting lines, with team-based organizational structures, the term “boss” is relative and shifting.  There have been a number of studies showing that workplace friendships can have positive effects. Gallup’s State of the American Workplace poll has famously shown that friendships increase employee satisfaction by 50% and that people with a best friend at work are seven times more likely to be engaged. Perhaps as a result, many companies such as Google, Zappos, Dropbox and Southwest have gone the route of promoting camaraderie and bonding between employees. Employees at the online shoe retail giant call their social unit “The Zappos Family.”  Our relationships with our co-workers greatly impact our work lives: more than 60%of employees who have between six and 25 friends at work admit to loving their companies (compared to the 24% who don’t have friends at work). In other words, our office relationships have the potential to make us happier and more productive. So how exactly do we go about maintaining the right balance? Here are a few strategies to consider:  Redefine what work friendship looks like.  When you think of a friend, you probably think of someone with whom you can confide and share experiences.  But there are many types of friends, as Jay Goltz suggests in the New York Times. Goltz, who runs a company of 110 employees (some of whom have been with him for 15 years), says that the key to maintaining relationships with employees may be a matter of rethinking your definition of friendship. You have those lifelong friends that let you cry on their shoulder, and you have business friends who you laugh and commiserate with over workplace follies. Both are equally legitimate friendships – the relationship dynamics are just a little bit different.
Conventional wisdom says that managers can't be friends with employees, yet in real life, it happens all the time. Here are four ways to find the balance for yourself.