-- "omg! I'll just read about it later. This is like water torture."  -- "Im gona play solitaire if he doesn't get on with it"  -- "Someone needs to bump him to get him to stop saying UM"  -- "After this, I need an UM detox program.."  At one point, Zuckerberg -- forever the geek -- pulled up a chart about Facebook's projected growth, which he introduced as a "log-normalized graph." The Internet's collective eyes rolled back.  Essentially, Zuckerberg seems to have tried -- and failed -- to imitate the undisputed king of the tech presser: Apple's Steve Jobs, who is known for leaving even the most skeptical of tech bloggers in a "hypnotic daze" after he finishes a talk.  "Zuckerberg at times appeared to be attempting to channel Steve Jobs in his presentation style," wrote Beatweek Magazine. "But too often he lost sight of the fact that most of his online audience members were from the non-geek general public."  "Steve Jobs builds his presentations around our innermost needs and desires," one Twitter user wrote. "Zuckerberg builds his around normalized logarithmic charts."  Here's a look at the key features of a Jobs presentation -- which he trots out each time Apple has a new iSomething to announce -- and how Zuckerberg fell at least a little short of the mark in copying him.  The pre-show buzz: Apple is notoriously silent before its announcements. This drives the tech industry crazy and creates a frenzied rumor mill. But before the Facebook announcement on Wednesday, Zuckerberg made what some tech writers now consider a mistake: He said Facebook would be announcing "something awesome."  This raised expectations, and when those weren't met, the technosphere rushed to declare his Skype partnership decidedly "unawesome," especially since it came on the heels of the release of Google's new social network, Google+, which has a video-chat feature some consider to be more robust.
Don't let the sweatshirts and flip-flops fool you: The tech world is all about image. And there's no better place to see this than the tech-company press conference -- in which execs show off new