They have been together for 20 years and are now in their 40s, paying less than $1,000 a month each to live in a converted office building in Queens.  That has allowed the tenants of Fortress Astoria, as they affectionately call their home, to make independent films, travel in Southeast Asia, train for Tough Mudder races, practice kung fu and tai chi, host costume parties, manage their vegetable and herb garden and, perhaps most important, live in a family of sorts that supports independence and freedom.  But now Rick Brown, who was voted “most likely to leave Fortress Astoria first” by his roommates in a Metropolitan cover story two years ago, is doing just that. He is moving in with his girlfriend, to an apartment in Cobble Hill, Brooklyn, affecting a dynamic that has kept these now-middle-aged men creatively and financially sound since the early 1990s.  On the eve of his move, Mr. Brown and two of his roommates, Danaher Dempsey and Shyaporn Theerakulstit, sat at their vintage laminate kitchen table, surrounded by moving boxes, and talked about what it all meant. The other roommate, Luke Crane, declined to be interviewed.  Mr. Brown’s girlfriend, Monica K. Ross, had just texted him that the actor Robin Williams had died, which made the occasion all the more poignant. A very real sense of time marching on could be seen on the men’s softened, saddened faces.  “Growing older is not fun only if you’re holding on to the way you used to be,” said Mr. Brown, who, looking exhausted, had taken a break from packing to discuss his decision to “leave the cocoon.”  Mr. Brown admitted that committing to the move had been a slow process, one that began about three years ago, when he met Ms. Ross and was soon dating her seriously. Within six months, he had started an editing job at VH1, the cable network, which turned into steady work.  “Instead of just living hand-to-mouth in a fun way, I started thinking about the future and saving money accordingly,” he said. “I still have creative interests, but that stuff isn’t so much at the forefront and doesn’t have the kind of ‘I have to do this or else I’m gonna die’ quality to it that it had before.”  Rick Brown, Shyaporn Theerakulstit and Danaher Dempsey sing, play, and act through their feelings about Mr. Brown leaving Fortress Astoria on the eve of his move.  Mr. Brown, it seems, is on the marriage track. But have his 20 years of communal living spoiled him? According to Philip N. Cohen, a sociologist at the University of Maryland and the author of “The Family: Diversity, Inequality, and Social Change,” his time at the Fortress might be excellent preparation.  “Living as a committed roommate is in some ways similar to marriage — chores, schedules, sharing secure physical space with people one is close to,” Mr. Cohen said. “So if that’s something people learn as adults, that might help with a marriage, more than, say, living as a single bachelor.”  Mr. Cohen added, however, that people coming from communal living situations might feel “isolated when they move in with no one but a romantic partner.”  Mr. Dempsey had no time to worry about his friend’s move. He is a full-time student and has two jobs. Facing four more years until he receives his doctorate in physical therapy, he will be approaching 50 by the time he has established himself in his new profession.  “It’s strange to realize that when I’m done I’ll have about 25 working years left,” he said, adding that he was surrounded by 19-year-olds at school and did not find much in common with them. But he has no regrets about the years he spent pursuing theater professionally, which he gave up about four years ago. “A lot of my understanding of physicality and communicating has come out of my acting,” he said.  Mr. Theerakulstit, who two years ago was cranking out satirical videos on YouTube, seemed the most changed. On the eve of his friend’s move, his high-octane creative energy seemed eclipsed by a grounded, bittersweet calm. “I’ve been in a weird fugue state for the last 18 months,” Mr. Theerakulstit said.  His mother, who lived in Thailand, died unexpectedly in December 2012. “It all hit me pretty hard,” he said. In addition to entering an intense grieving period, Mr. Theerakulstit became a property owner overseas, inheriting a condominium and a house in Bangkok.  “Last year was a blur,” he said, adding that he was grateful he had the Fortress to come home to after an extended trip to Thailand.  “That’s the beauty of our situation here,” Mr. Theerakulstit said. “I was away for four months, and then I came back and did my Godzilla lecture in D.C.” He was referring to a “faux science” performance about the history and biology of Godzilla that took place at the Smithsonian Institution, where he closed a conference that included an engineer from the National Aeronautics and Space Administration and a string theorist.  Mr. Theerakulstit plans to continue his creative pursuits. He is in preproduction for an original web series, and he was recently cast in the role of Sulu in “Star Trek New Voyages: Phase II,” the longest-  running “Star Trek” fan series on the web.  Projects aside, the men, like other people their age, are dealing with the onset of middle age. As the night wore on, the discussion turned to slowing metabolisms, growing paunches and their lack of motivation to do anything about it all, citing general fatigue and fear of breaking bones they were now afraid would never quite heal again.  But the brotherhood will live on. Mr. Dempsey and Mr. Theerakulstit are staying put, and Mr. Brown is being succeeded by his friend Gary DeVirgilio, 40, an actor, musician and professional stagehand.  “I see myself writing music in the garden,” Mr. DeVirgilio, who plays the guitar, said in a telephone interview. He was married for 10 years and for now wants to remain single. Although interested in dating, he acknowledged that the bachelor-heavy Fortress might require a somewhat open-minded partner. “You have to lay it out and say, ‘Here’s my situation,’ ” he said.  It seemed to work for Mr. Brown.  A version of this article appears in print on August 24, 2014, on page MB5 of the New York edition with the headline: Time Marches on, Even at Fortress Astoria. Order Reprints|Today's Paper|Subscribe
Living as a family of sorts for 20 years, longtime Queens roommates enter a new era as one man moves out.