Emily Yoffe: I look forward to your questions.  A ticket to rudeness : I have some dear friends who went to visit my old hometown on the coast. Because they are avid nature lovers and expressed some interest, I managed to secure some tickets to the local aquarium. Imagine my horror as they "live tweeted" and Facebook-posted their utter contempt for the place. They criticized the exhibits as chintzy, pathetic and dull, even posting photos of themselves pointing, laughing, and being bored to tears while ridiculing the animals. The aquarium is small, funded via donations and grants, and is dedicated to rehabilitating injured animals. They managed somehow to find fault with this, stating that they found themselves stuck watching "retarded, gimpy things." and how grateful they were that they didn't have to pay to see them.I have been to this aquarium many times and applaud the efforts they undertake to help animals. I have no idea how to respond, if at all, to the drubbing my friends inflicted. I feel personally ashamed for some reason and don't even want to talk to these people again. My partner said I should let it go, but I can't help but think these people should have handled their disappointment, and my gift, differently. Advice?Signed, Repaid with a Facebook slap  Emily Yoffe: they aren't abashed and don't apologize, then I agree, you may have to rethink this friendship.  Boulder, CO: How do you know when someone is gold digging? I went out on a first date last week and the woman said to me that if a guy doesn't lavish a woman with expensive dinners, gifts, vacations, etc, he's just showing her how cheap he is. Throughout the meal she was trying to subtly determine my income. She also let me know that she'd never date a guy who didn't drive a Mercedes, Audi, Cadillac, or comparable car. I'm not going out with her again, but she seemed to be digging for gold big time. I do pretty well for myself (I own my own business), so what other signs should I look for to make sure somone's dating me for me and not my money?  My Boss Wants Me to Let My Students Draw My Blood! Help!: Dear Prudie:I have a fantastic job teaching at a local career college. Faculty at my school are encouraged to foster relationships with students outside the classroom by getting involved in student groups, fundraisers, etc. I'm all for it, and I actively and frequently participate in such events. However, my boss often asks me to participate in one activity that I don't care for: blood draws. Our nursing students are required to draw blood on a set number of people in order to pass a particular class. They practice on each other, but my boss will often drum up volunteers among the faculty and staff to help the students reach their blood draw quotas. My boss is a fantastic person, but she can be fairly persistent when it comes to getting faculty to volunteer for this. I've reluctantly agreed a few times, but I'm generally a little uncomfortable having my students stick me. In past, I've had students incorrectly draw my blood, which left bruising and soreness for a week or so afterwards! A friend of mine (who's a doctor) told me that it's not in my best interest to continue to allow nursing students to practice on my arms, as repeated injury to the veins can make it difficult for professionals to draw blood and insert IV's when I actually need it done. However, every few weeks, my boss strongly encourages me to help my students meet their quotas by rolling up my sleeves. How can I best tell my boss that this activity makes me uncomfortable, and that I don't want to participate anymore?Thanks a ton, Prudie! I'm a huge fan! :)  Emily Yoffe: say a physician counseled you about the dangers of scar tissue and your days of giving at the office are concluded.  Office Ettiquette - Scooching Professionally: Here's an office ettiquette question I am curious about. A few days ago, we had a big office meeting in our company's auditorium. The room was pretty full when I got there, and as I was looking for a seat, a group of male colleagues offered me an empty seat in their row. It was really very nice of them. But, the seat was about six people in. No one stood up to let me in, so, I had 'scooch' through the row to get to the open seat. I scooched facing the front of the auditorium, trying to stay as close as possible to the seats in front of me, but am now embarrassed that my behind was pretty much at their eye level during what felt like a very long, slow process of getting to my seat. Should I have faced backwards for the scooching? Less butt-in-the-face for my colleagues, but also pretty awkward and fraught with potential for knocking into the heads of the people in the row ahead. Any advice? What would you have done?  Emily Yoffe: There's nothing to do now. But if you find yourselves in the same situation with these guys again, stand your ground until they stand for you.  Thanksgiving with the Crazy In Laws: But now after a lifetime of absentee parenting, she wants to assert herself into our (adult) lives and tell us what to do.I usually host Thanksgiving for both sides of our family because it avoids a lot of family drama, and everyone has a good time. This year, she sent out an e-mail stating that Thanksgiving would be at her house this year, and ordering us to bring certain sides. I get that this is probably a big deal for her in her "recovery" but we don't want to go: we really don't like visiting her house, and the thought of spending all day there fills us with dread. She also didn't invite my side of the family, which means they won't have anywhere to go, and probably will not be capable of doing a Thanksgiving by themselves (most of them have undergone major surgery in the last 6 months).How do I get out of this pickle? Do I bite the bullet and go to her party, or do I pull a coup and throw my own Thanksgiving anyways? Maybe we should go on vacation? But then what about my family, who I want to see? Help! This seems like a no-win situation. - Turkey Day Troubles Galore  Emily Yoffe: Giving in to her unreasonable demands because they seem like part of her recovery will only mean you'll be hoping for a relapse.  Family Owned Engagement Ring: My boyfriend just proposed with his grandmother's ring (not her engagement ring, just a ring that had been passed down). It's very nice and I like it, not what I would have chosen for an engagement ring, but it is what it is and I'm happy with it.I am worried however about how to handle his family, who act like it is their ring, or still her ring (she passed years ago). I understand the importance of this ring to them, but (in my mind) it once was hers, but it's mine now. My engagement ring. Comments like don't lose Nana's ring, or Nana did this or that with it (took it off to wash her hands?) definitely make me feel like it's on loan to me rather than belongs to me.How do I respond in a way that lets them know while respecting where it came from that it does belong to me now, symbolising the love between me and their son? Sitting them down for a chat seems formal, and going one by one to parents, aunts, uncles etc would be daunting. On the other hand, snapping, well its MINE now is totally out of the question (and out of character!)  Emily Yoffe: In time the newness of the ring having a new owner will pass and the remarks should cease.  Prudish Texter: Dear Prudie, I went to a rather small, conservative, Christian high school, and while the partying and general social culture was much the same as it is in college; the dating part was pretty different. I find that when I meet guys here who seem interested in me, they automatically revert to texting, which ends up getting too steamy. After analyzing my sent messages over and over again with the help of some friends, I'm pretty sure that I don't do anything to lead them into that line of conversation. I try to shut them down with a straight forward "sorry but I'm just not that type," but it doesn't seem to do very much. How do I make my stand clear without being too harsh (especially because I don't want to alienate myself from my friends circle)? And whatever happened to asking a girl out for coffee instead of blowing up her phone with overly flirty texts? Yours Sincerely, Prudish Texter  Emily Yoffe: You can just reply, "No, thanks."  Slovenly little sister: Dear Prudie,I grew up in a home that was in every way filthy - dirty dishes, dirty clothes, dirty floors. Nothing ever got picked up or wiped down unless company was coming over (which was rare, because there was usually too much that had to be done). Now that I'm grown and married, I keep my own home much cleaner. But my little sister seems to think that the disgusting conditions we grew up in are normal. I recently went to visit her at her new apartment, and it was like my parents' house all over again. Dirty dishes and food scraps covering every surface of the kitchen, clean laundry mixed with dirty laundry on the floor, junk on every soiled surface. The bathroom hadn't been wiped down in weeks - and she knew I was coming for a visit. My sister often complains that she is ready to settle down, but can't find the right guy. I'm worried that when she finds him, he'll run the other way when he sees her living conditions. Should I say something and risk ruining our relationship, or should I just mind my own business?- OCD Older Sis  Emily Yoffe: Tell her cleaning up her act will make her feel better about herself and more comfortable with guests.  Boss on a Diet: Dear Prudie - My Boss is on an extreme diet and her lunches are small, light and likely unsatisfying. To keep herself on track, she has taken to scheduling lunch-time meetings nearly every day!! I can eat at my desk before or after, but those are usually times when I have other calls, meetings, etc. making eating awkward. Also, I used to go out to lunch a couple times per week or just walk or run errands. Prudie -- I want my lunch time back! Help!!  Emily Yoffe: So if she won't back down, go over her head.  My neighbors and their dogs: I live in a large condo building and often end up in the elevator with people and their dogs. I am often dressed up for work in dry-clean type clothing. People seem to think it's ok to let their dogs bump up next to me, rub their wet nose on my pant leg, etc. This has happened to me a handful of times with different owners. I think it's the mindset that everyone must love their dog as much as they do but I feel it's extremely rude especially when I'm dressed nice for work. What do I say in this situation? I usually try to convey it by a look of disgust but at that point I've already received the dog slobber.  Emily Yoffe: As you begin to recognize the offenders, try smiling and speaking up: "Your dog's adorable, but please don't let her rub against my clothes. Thanks."  See through: My retirement-age mom wears blouses and sweaters that leave little about her bra to the imagination (thin white blouse and white bra, dark sweater with eyelet pattern and white bra, black sweater with white bra). She's not a secret exhibitionist, she's just clueless. Although there's no reason to be clueless. At a family gathering a few years ago I lent her a camisole top to wear under her blouse (after my father remarked that her attire was inappropriate). At that time she remarked that she'd have to buy some camisoles for herself.She doesn't seem to have done that, though.Do I give her camisole tops for Christmas or decide she's old enough to decide for herself how she wants to appear in public?Thanks!  Marrieds vs Singles: Dear Prudie, I am an early-thrities single woman. I am excited to attend the wedding of a good friend and former co-worker this weekend. Another friend, CD, just asked me if I wanted to go in on a wedding gift with her and her husband. She was st the store, told me the item's price, and I happily accepted. My problem is that when she later texted me the final tally, my portion was half of the total - not the third that I had been planning on! Half is more than I was planning to spend, but not completely unaffordable. Should I just pay half and keep quiet? I don't want to seem miserly, but I really thought that since three of us were going in together, the bill would be split in 3. We are all employed, and I am only 3 years older than them, so it is not like I am their older, rich friend. What should I do? Signed, I'm single, not an ATM  Emily Yoffe: Next time you do this, make sure the gift is something you can afford half of.  Politics as Usual: For the last year I have been dating a wonderful man who makes me enormously happy. He treats me with love a respect and is an all around great human being. My worry is how people react to his occupation upon meeting him. He is a politician who was recently re-elected to office. When people (friends or family of mine who first meet him) learn this, the first question is inevitably asking what party he is affiliated with, and then many people feel inclined to start political debates. Many of my family members supported political canidates that my boyfriend did not, as they are members of the opposite party. I worry that when we join my family for the holidays certain people may use it as an opportunity to voice their less than friendly opinions about the current state of Maryland and monopolize his time with complaints and whining. I know that in his line of work this comes with the territory, but I feel as though he has the right to a relaxing, non-confrontational holiday. What can I say to certain family and friends that will help them think of him as "X, my nieces/friends/sisters loving boyfriend", instead of "X, the politician"?  Emily Yoffe: If you see he's being cornered, feel free to step in and say, "Uncle Louie, Dan is a guest in our house, not on Meet the Press, so please stop grilling him."  teacher gifts - help!: Dear Prudence -It's getting close to the holidays and the guilt gift season is upon us. Am I obligated to get gifts for my kids' teachers? Everyone at our school does it but I can't afford it but it seems a cold shoulder will be coming my way and possibly the way of my children if I don't follow the "tradition" - what to do?  Emily Yoffe: everyone. Talk to you next week.
Need help getting along with partners, relatives, coworkers... and people in general? Ask Prudence! Emily Yoffe -- a.k.a. Slate's advice columnist Dear Prudence takes your questions on manners, morals and more.