Dear first-time managers of the English Premier League:  Congrats! You made it! You are the envy of world soccer, finally coaching in the most prestigious league on the planet.  Eddie Howe of Bournemouth, Alex Neil of Norwich City, Quique Flores of Watford and Slaven Bilic of West Ham, welcome. This weekend, you will all claim dugout seats as Premier League managers for the first time.  No matter what happens this season, rest assured that your club will rake in around $80 million worth of television money, even if you finish dead last. The Premier League’s rights deal is the richest in the game.  So enjoy the new surroundings—the intimate English stadiums that fill with noise every Saturday. Enjoy the new house; we’re sure the clubs hooked you up. Enjoy having every handshake, outfit and foul-mouthed outburst analyzed by millions of fans around the planet.  Because it won’t last. You’re in the Premier League now. And from the moment the line “Premier League manager” appeared on your résumé, your job security plummeted.  Based on a Wall Street Journal analysis of every managerial tenure in the league since 2009, you can expect to be employed for roughly 13½ months. That’s a shorter run than actors in some Broadway shows. Your club might have interns for longer.  You would be better off in the other football, the one with pigskin. NFL head coaches last 4 years 4 months on average, according to Stats LLC.  Only one manager currently in the Premier League has been around longer than that: Arsenal’s Arsène Wenger. He has been in his job since 1996, making this his 20th season.  In this league, we can all but promise that you won’t last as long.  Follow Joshua Robinson on Twitter: @JoshRobinson23. Write him at joshua.robinson@wsj.com
The Premier League’s new managers shouldn’t get too comfortable. See an in-depth graphical rundown of how often the league’s teams change their coaches.