In this day and age, you'd think celebs would catch on to the fact that the paparazzi and the public are always watching. (And you can be sure the photogs are not snapping pics for their scrapbooks.) That's why it's all the more hilarious when the beautiful people get caught doing ugly, disgusting things. From wedgies to sweat stains, we've got all of Hollywood's dirty secrets right here ... It's bad enough that Russell Brand thinks it's okay to run around in his tighty-whities, but then scratching his behind in public? That takes his un-funny behavior to a whole other level. But this isn't Russell's first time getting handsy ... BY JOANNA SLOAME  At the premiere of his film 'Arthur,' Brand made headlines by grabbing his wife Katy Perry's derriere.  Hey, Lindsay - beat this one! According to InTouch magazine, Tara Reid was allegedly out partying and her tooth randomly fell out. So instead of heading home and making an emergency dentist appointment, the ultimate party gal pulled some glue out of her purse, glued her tooth back in and kept the party going.  How ladylike! Sharon Osbourne showed the paparazzi exactly what she ate for lunch at the Ivy.  Why is Will Smith digging for gold when he could just borrow money from son Jaden Smith?  Uh oh, did Christy Turlington not quite make it to the restroom in time?  Brad Pitt's too pretty to be surrounded by a cloud of smoke!  Did your parents ever teach you to chew with your mouth closed, Carrie Underwood?  Ew! Really, Mickey Rourke? How bout keeping those gross habits to a minimum around your gorgeous girlfriend, Elena Kuletskaya?  Hobbit with a habit! Elijah Wood chomps down on a cig ...  ... while Kristen Johnston gets down and dirty with her nostril.  Sure, the glasses make Demi Moore look super smart, but the big ole wad of gum in her mouth sort of counteracts that.  Larry King may have retired, but he's still digging for the next big scoop.  It's every girl's dream come true: David Beckham dropping tough in the middle of the soccer field. Swoon! Speaking of athletes ...  Serena Williams serves up a mean backhand.  OMG! Is that Leighton Meester with a pit stain?  Marilyn Manson takes a bite out of his scarf ...  ... while Simon van Kempen grabs onto a 'Housewife.' Get a room, guys!  Ew, Avril, nobody wants to see that!  Wait ... isn't that Liv's DAD, Steven Tyler?! Uhh ...  Robert Pattinson takes a bite ... out of his nails ...  ... while his girlfriend Kristen Stewart uses a makeshift tissue: her hand!  Iggy PopBig spits it out ...  ... while Natalie Portman doesn't even try to hide a yawn.  Russell Brand is quite picky ...  ... and clearly was never taught any manners, whatsoever.  No butts about it, Jason Patrick, Jim Gaffigan, Brian Cox, Chris Noth and Kiefer Sutherland are over the moon!  It's electric! Katherine Heigl lights up an electronic cigarette!  Pull your pants up, son! Justin Bieber's about to lose his drawers ...  ... while comedians Sarah Silverman and Rainn Wilson have a nose pick-off.  He's bluffing! Don't let Corey Feldman blow smoke up your ... you know what.  Vanessa Hudgens' sweatshirt doubles as a tissue.  Uh, Ronnie Wood, nice cig.  Someone doesn't want to eat their veggies! Even that sombrero can't hide 'Jersey Shore''s J-WOWW's obvious distaste for her meal.  Hey, Cristiano Ronaldo, we see you! Perhaps this soccer stud should stick to kicking, not picking ...  Late night out, Simon Cowell?  Amy Winehouse shows off her impressive pipes ...  Get a sneak pick of Justin Timberlake's new film 'Friends WIth Benefits.'  Uh oh, looks like California Gurls aren't always perky and running around in Daisy Dukes ...  Supermodel Agyness Deyn mouths off behind the scenes at the Alexander Wang Show during New York Fashion Week ...  ... and gets her cigarette breaks in before hitting the catwalk.  '30 Rock''s Judah Friedlander takes the Neanderthal approach to lunch ...  ... while 'Modern Family' star Sophia Vergara takes a more discrete approach ...  But there's nothing discrete about Lady Gaga at a Mets game. In her bra and underwear. Flipping off her 'little monsters.'  Now that's a Kodak moment! 'Machete' star Danny Trejo sneaks out for a smoke during the Venice Film Festival.  Ew, just because it looks like grass, Tom Jane, doesn't mean can go barefoot!  But the 'Hung' star seems to be enjoying himself - and a hefty cigar as well.  You can only imagine the noises Cyndi Lauper is making here.  When a grown woman sucks her thumb ... well, it may be time for an intervention. Oh, Amy Winehouse ...  Hellboy smokes too?! Ron Perlman lights up a cigar at the Toronto Film Festival.  It's Janet ... Miss Jackson if she's nasty.  Brigitte Nielsen can't decide: lunch or a cigarette?  Keep yourself in check, girl! Britney, birds' nests don't work as weaves. The pop star is clearly in desperate need of a trip to the salon. The pop star, who famously shaved off her blond locks during a 2008 breakdown, showed off a head full of ratty extensions during a shopping trip to Crate and Barrel in Sherman Oaks, Calif. on July 21.Speaking of weaves ...  Did Kate Gosselin's brood get a hold of her weave? It looks like it got tugged in eight directions.  Ball gown and a cigarette. Jerry Hall keeps it classy at the Starry Night Black-Tie Event in Perth, Australia on Aug. 21.  Sure, Lindsay Lohan's got a few bad habits up her sleeve, (we really don't need to go into details here, ) but hun, if you wanna dig for gold, you may wanna pick a nose with a career ...  Kourtney Kardashian's got a bone to pick ... with her skirt.  We've heard of bend it like Beckham, but never pick it like Beckham ...  Ethan Hawke, you may be across the pond, but we still see you! The actor not-so-discreetly picks his nose while filming his latest flick, 'The Woman in the Fifth,' on location in Paris, France.  Drunkenly kissing random men on the street does not bode well for one's already, er, colorful reputation. Is that right, Amy Winehouse?  Amy, Amy, Amy ... Enough with the dirty ballerina slippers! We can only imagine the things these shoes have seen. Although, we have to admit, we're glad she's at least she's wearing shoes, unlike this next celeb ...  Remember when Britney Spears used a gas station bathroom (actually, walked in on someone else using the bathroom) barefoot? Ahh, fond memories ...  Hilary Duff hunts for loose change ...  ... while Mischa Barton proves she's the queen of multitasking. But Mischa's got a few other filthy habits up her sleeve ...  Photo credit: Splash News Sorry babe, we don't think you're going to find a new TV show up there.  Robert Pattinson gets a good look at the goods when he thinks the Twi-hards aren't looking. Note to RPatz: The Twi-hards are always looking ...  Wow, for once Kristen Stewart isn't scowling. 'Course she is lighting up, but hey, take what you can get, right?  It's seems a pre-baby Kendra Wilkinson knew how to party!  Cam Gigandet will huff and he'll puff ...  Hey, Snooki! Don't you know it's rude to do your makeup at the table?!  Tsk, tsk, Sophie Monk! Smoking while eating? But this is nothing compared to the last time the Aussie model got caught in a compromising position ...  No need to get violent, Sophie.  Paul McCartney may wanna hold your hand, but you probably shouldn't let him.  Who better to get wasted and make out at a bar than the one-and-only Courtney Love?  For a party girl, Tara Reid really needs to work on her balance.  Hey, Kevin Federline! We know you're in need of cash, but you're not going to find any gold up there.  Quick! Say 'she sells seashells' three times fast!  Okay, we'll let this one slide. Clearly, Sarah Jessica Parker just saw 'Sex and the City 2.'  Mickey Rourke's really got a, er, hold of his career these days.  Finally, someone caught Tyra Banks forgetting to 'smise.'  Tommy Lee lends a helping hand.  The Lohan diet: Coke and cigs.  What's with the white powder, Linds?  Samantha Ronson was clearly a great influence on Lindsay ...  Not you too, Jack Bauer! Kiefer Sutherland lights up ...  ... and then has the nerve to talk on his cell while lunching with girlfriend Siobhan Bonnouvrier. And they say chivalry is dead ...  Kate Moss just oozes elegance and class, but her ex is on a whole other level ...  British musician Pete Doherty takes the stage with both booze and cigs ...  ... which have clearly left him looking like the poster child for good health. Speaking of British musicians ...  Lily Allen sucks in the fresh air in Santa Monica ...  ... and multitasks in West Hollywood.  Sexy star Javier Bardem better use breath freshener before kissing lady love Penelope Cruz.  Courtney Love takes a time out for a cig break ...  Even Oscar-winning directors got an itch they just can't scratch. (We're looking at you, Clint Eastwood.)  Even Katy Perry lights up sometimes ...  ... but don't worry, James Franco's only joking.  Amy Winehouse: Still standing (barely).  Even Prince Charles' wife, Camilla, needs to scratch an itch sometimes. Except with royalty, it's done with leather gloves, natch.  Pink sneaks a smoke ...  ... while Simon Cowell stands proud.  Bono Sean Penn are out to save the world, one smoke at a time.  Actor Gary Dourdan loves those camels.
Sure, they're famous. They're also revolting. With paparazzi lurking on every corner, celebrities should know better than to conduct nasty behavior in public.