Send your workplace conundrums to workologist@nytimes.com including your name and contact information (even if you want it withheld for publication). The Workologist is a guy with well-intentioned opinions, not a professional career adviser. Letters may be edited.  I was an early member of a start-up team that ended up being acquired by a big company. One by one, the original team collected their retention bonuses and left, or were let go. I am the last man standing.  My current boss (whom I admire) is based on the other side of the country. But my site leader has made it clear whom she likes and doesn’t like. I am among those she doesn’t like. Her reports to my boss about me are negative. I defend myself and still feel beat up. I’m busy solving complex problems and don’t want to play politics.  I am a technical fellow, well versed in the technology and history of the product our start-up created. I am performing, but not very good about tooting my own horn. Advice? ANONYMOUS  The first thing to decide is whether you really want this situation to work out, or whether you just want a convincing rationale for why it hasn’t.  If it’s true that your site manager is a clueless sourpuss who arbitrarily has it in for you, and whom you are powerless to influence, then by your own account there’s not much you can do — aside from taking solace in the idea that the problems aren’t your fault.  Your comment about not being good at tooting your own horn, however, suggests some willingness to be proactive in finding a resolution. I’d guess that many readers empathize with your specific hesitation: Self-promoters can be irritating; becoming one of them can feel icky.  Maybe the answer is in how you approach the task. I, too, empathize with your reluctance, so I ran this quandary past Seth Godin, an entrepreneur and the author of a widely read blog and books including “We Are All Weird” and the forthcoming “What to Do When It’s Your Turn.” Mr. Godin has a talent for framing the challenges of the modern work world as opportunities.  “If you come to the conclusion that those who toot their horn are busy being loud about their mediocre work (but happily spinning it), then of course it makes sense that you’re choosing to keep your head down instead,” he suggested via email. “But what if you invested in a different sort of work, one worthy of your new boss’s attention and approval?  “In my experience, glad-handing self-aggrandizement is rarely an effective technique,” Mr. Godin continued. “What works instead is a combination of relentlessly giving away credit and generously taking responsibility. Your new bosses are almost certainly interested in someone who gives them credit when things go well and speaks clearly and honestly (and takes the blame) when they don’t.”  Notice that this advice isn’t about a set of clinical tactics; it’s about a mind-set. And it’s consistent with a mentality that prizes work over bragging. Instead of projecting defensiveness or entitlement, it signals confidence and engagement.  And it still allows you to telegraph value and expertise, but in a more productive framework. As Mr. Godin put it: “Successfully tooting your own horn is more about the horn than the tooting.”  I strongly believe that each of us has a personal responsibility to help those in need, and for many years I have contributed to my chosen charities as generously as possible.  The executive vice president to whom I report regularly emails all 50 or so people who work for him, requesting contributions to various causes. Though some are valid, I feel his endless requests are in poor taste; they feel a bit like covert arm-twisting.  After donating several times, I decided enough was enough and ignored his last request. That resulted in a series of reminder emails. Our company has recently changed hands, and our new owners have been slashing personnel costs. The fund-raiser is the hatchet man. In such a volatile climate, I feel it is unprofessional for any executive to continue banging the drums for donations to his chosen charities. Yet I certainly cannot report him to human resources. I plan to ignore future requests from him. Should I start packing up my desk now? ANONYMOUS  Strong-arming employees into supporting a specific cause is, if not unprofessional, at least obnoxious. And this sounds like a perfectly reasonable issue to bring up with H.R., provided that it’s properly presented: The issue isn’t the manager’s professionalism; it’s how his behavior, however well intentioned, affects the workplace.  Chances are good that you’re not the only person who finds the practice bothersome. Ask around among your peers, in neutral tones: What do they think of these requests? If you find that others share your concern, enlist them in making a case to H.R. that this manager needs to be told that his campaigns aren’t welcome.  If you’d prefer to keep the issue more private, you could give some token amount to keep the guy off your back. Or politely — but directly — tell him that you’re on a budget and sticking with charities of your own choosing. Or give a little, and say why you’re not giving more.  You don’t owe him an explanation, but simply opting out in silence strikes me as a dead end. This manager may wonder if you’re a callous cheapskate — or why you’re abruptly ignoring him after previously playing along. If you don’t articulate your concerns to someone, you’re leaving it to him to deduce your motives, and I doubt that his conclusions would be generous.  Send your workplace conundrums to workologist@nytimes.com, including your name and contact information (even if you want it withheld for publication). The Workologist is a guy with well-intentioned opinions, not a professional career adviser. Letters may be edited.  A version of this article appears in print on November 16, 2014, on page BU10 of the New York edition with the headline: Self-Promotion, but With Self-Respect. Order Reprints| Today's Paper|Subscribe
How to ensure — without bragging — that management understands your accomplishments? The answer may lie in adjusting your mind-set.