(Toni L. Sandys/The Washington Post)  The market for Fred Davis in free agency thus far has appeared similar to the market for snow shovels in July, or ear plugs at the ballet, or Lactaid pills at the PETA convention, or Final Four tickets on Georgetown’s campus, or razor blades in Jayson Werth’s home, or whatever simile you prefer. (Yes, there has been interest from the Bills in recent days, which only strengthens the above point.)  Davis, though, has paid attention to the spate of tight end signings this month, and he plans to remember these contracts. Not sure if he’ll go full-on Gilbert Arenas and keep a list in his pocket, but he clearly has revenge in mind.  “A lot of people are looking at the [Achilles] injury and that stuff,” Davis told the NFL Network on Friday. (Watch the video here.) “I definitely feel like whatever team signed any tight ends right now, I’m gonna make them regret anything that they do – AND the Redskins, too, as well – because I know I’m gonna go out here and I’m gonna do what I have to do. And I’ll bet you next year’s gonna be a good year for me. This is The One right here. This is The Big One. You ever watch Fred Sanford? He had The Big One. That’s what this year is for me. Elizabeth, I’m coming!”  Major bonus points to Davis for the Redd Foxx impersonation. Of course, Sanford’s Big One was a running fake, but it’s still a great reference.  Davis was also asked which active tight ends he would take over a healthy Fred Davis.  “Hmm. I mean, to be honest with you, the tight end that I really respect the most is Tony Gonzalez, because he’s been doing it for so long and he’s still relevant,” Davis said. “And that’s a great tight end to me, if you’re playing this long and you’re still making plays like that. Other than that, to be honest with you, I’m in competition right now. I’m in my veteran years. And if you really look at the stats — the numbers I’ve been putting up these last couple years when I’m able to get the ball — I think it would show for itself.”  So Davis was asked if he’d take a healthy Fred Davis over, say, Rob Gronkowski.  “He’s nice,” Davis admitted. “He’s nice. Give me Tom Brady and I’ll take myself.”  Davis said he started running a couple weeks ago, that he’s “a little bit ahead of schedule” in his rehab, that he’d like to stay with the Redskins but that “I’ll play wherever,” and that “if I can’t [stay in D.C.], then I’m fine with that as well.”  He said he doesn’t enjoy talking about himself, but that “since I’ve been in the league I haven’t really been recognized to the liking that I would like to be.”  And he suggested that other teams might not understand how healthy he will be.  “I think [the injury] probably did play a little part [in the soft market], because it’s a business at the end of the day,” Davis said. “But if a team was to see me working out in the gym how I’ve been, I think they would change their mind about that. But it’s a business, and they have to do what they have to do money-wise if they can. I’m gonna tell you this right here though: next year, I’m gonna be back. And definitely ahead of schedule, I know that, for sure.”  He also said a certain other Redskins weapon would be back ahead of schedule.  “Before free agency started I used to see [RGIII] in rehab every day,” Davis said. “I’ll tell you right now, he definitely looks really good. You can barely even tell that he’s hurt, man. He’s doing every drill, everything, looks comfortable and normal to me. When he first got back I was surprised, like, did you just have surgery? But he’s one of them guys, he works hard, and whenever he says he’s gonna do something, he’s gonna do it. So I believe that he’ll be back, definitely sooner than people expect.”
Still a free agent, the longtime Redskin plans to have The Big One this season, like Fred Sanford, except not a heart attack.