The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) continues to wow and amaze with some of the most ludicrous technology announcements out there. Today's discovery is a "controllable launcher" that can propel a human payload dozens of feet into the air. The launcher is a simple combination of a seat, guide rails, and a compressed air cylinder. When the launcher is activated, the compressed air shoots the seat up the launcher's guide rails, and when it reaches the top, the chair is halted, and the seat's rider is thrown. According to the patent, a computer can be used to calculate the correct angle and force required to safely and accurately launch each rider. DARPA claims that the launcher could place a man safely on the roof of a five story building in less than 2 seconds. DARPA's next announcement is predicted to be a friendly lobster robot that can quickly and accurately clean up the remains of people who have tragically fallen from great heights.