𝘌𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘺, 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘺? They are terms describing emotions that are frequently used synonymically but refer to distinct experiences. Let´s see.
𝐏𝐢𝐭𝐲 is the lowest form of these feelings, with little willingness to act and little understanding of another’s emotions. 𝐒𝐲𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐲 is a step forward, with a slightly increased willingness to assist and understand. 𝐄𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐲 is the closest connection to another person’s feelings, in which we adopt the other person’s emotions and make them our own. Holding space is an act of empathy because it requires understanding and caring about the other person’s feelings and experiences in order to be fully present, attentive, without judgment, and listen without interruption. On the other hand, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 is the pinnacle of comprehension and willingness to act. With greater understanding and emotional awareness, compassion is a conscious effort to support another person who is suffering. 𝐓𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐲, 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.
Those are all valuable qualities to cultivate, but it’s important to know how they differ from one another. We can strive for a more proactive and supportive approach in our interactions with others if we recognise 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. Often, this distinction is misunderstood.
In times of need, we often turn to our closest peers, hoping to find comfort in someone who understands our struggles, but they feel invested in the responsibility to provide support, while simply 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝.
Paradoxically, when we require concrete help, we seek out therapists who listen attentively but do not offer concrete solutions. 𝐂𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝, 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬.
So, w𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒅𝒐 YOU 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅?
This article is inspired by “𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘏𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘏𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘞𝘢𝘺” by Rasmus Hougaard and Jacqueline Carter (Harvard Business Review Press 2022). Image source Potential Project and HBR and Sonia McDonald.