Many people find it challenging to overcome setbacks. They begin to twist themselves and make new mistakes. As a result, some situation becomes the beginning of the black strip, which becomes difficult to get out of. Sometimes it seems that the whole world is against you.
This article contains simple and effective techniques on how to quickly and easily overcome failures. What to do and how to look for a way out. Following the advice, you can become stronger psychologically.
How do people usually react to failures?
There are three common reactions:
- Avoid failure. Such people act as if they are fully confident in success, and it is challenging to experience mistakes. In extreme cases, fear becomes so strong that a person seeks not to change anything or shifts responsibility for his actions to others. He asks for advice and does as he was told, not the way he wants.
- Twisting. A person begins to think how everything would be good if he did this and that. He entered another university, went to another city, and so on. In my head, dozens of times, scroll stories from the past can no longer be corrected. As a result, there is irritation, apathy. Problems are exacerbated.
- Positive thinking. In this case, the person strives in any failure to find something positive to calm himself. On the one hand, it seems that such people are very resistant to problems. Positive thinking can lead to the fact that a person will not draw conclusions from their mistakes, allow them again or, downplaying issues, bring them to extremes.
How to treat failures correctly?
- It is essential to understand that in life, it is impossible always to win or be right. When a child learns to walk, he falls many times before he begins to move confidently. Failure is a lesson that is given to us to draw conclusions and become better.
- If a mistake is made, it has already been made. Experiences only increase emotional suffering but do not solve the problem. So they are meaningless. Of course, we are all human beings and can not give up emotions. But it doesn’t make sense to specifically amplify them with thoughts like “what would have happened if I hadn’t done this or something” doesn’t make sense.
- The main task in case of failure is to conclude. In psychology, there is a technique, “Diary of Success,” in which it is advised to record all their achievements and periodically view them. By analogy with it, making a “Diary of failures and conclusions” and recording in it solved problems and conclusions.
- It is essential to get out as quickly as possible. That is, to begin to deal with the consequences of failures, not allowing to increase the scale of problems.
Let’s look at examples from life
|Situation||How to react incorrectly!||How to treat failure correctly!|
|You accidentally broke a pot of plant.||Start to blame yourself for inattention, worry, cry.||Buy a new pot and plant. Put a new pot where you can not accidentally hurt it. Check that pots with other plants are in safe places.|
|The key client said that he is dissatisfied with your work and wants to break off the relationship.||To fall into a stupor, to offer a discount (the mistake of such a solution is that the discount is unlikely to solve the problem), to think about how you will repay the loans if the income decreases (you do not need to screw yourself, you are already experiencing stress).||To conduct a prompt audit of the project. Objectively find out if there are flaws on your part. Call the client and try to clarify what upset him. Offer an action plan on how to solve problems on the project. Ensure that the client stays with you—audit other clients’ projects for similar risks.|
|You spilled sweet tea on a new laptop that you bought yesterday. At the same time, you need to pass the project urgently.||To think that if you didn’t drink tea, there would be no problem. Blaming yourself, blaming, blaming.||Please turn off the laptop, try to remove the tea from it. If it stops working, call your friends and see if someone has an unnecessary computer that you can take for a while. Pass the project on time.|
As we can see, the main thing is to start acting and solve the problem and not to focus on negative emotions and destructive thoughts.
How to get out of the band of failures?
There are times when it seems as if the whole world is against you. Problems fly out like horns of abundance. It appears that there is no way out, but in fact – you have fallen into a spiral of negative thoughts. You can successfully get out of it if you apply simple tips:
- Remember that the world strives for balance. The streak of failure always ends. The deeper the fall, the higher the rise. If you think that the problems have become too much, perhaps you are at the end of the black strip and will soon start white. We need to put in a little more effort.
- Sometimes fate tests a person, checking whether he is worthy of the reward that he can receive. Think of failure as an obstacle course – to get a prize. It would be best if you overcame it. The more problems, the more significant the award will be.
- Learn to manage emotions. Instead of thinking about why you’re in trouble, focus on how to solve problems. Look for their causes and make a plan of action.
- Don’t talk to negative people. Try to spend more time with those who are positive. They will charge you with the energy you need to get out of the black strip.
- Use a “positive horoscope” technique. In the evening, write your horoscope the next day, in which you wish yourself luck, success, problem-solving. In the morning, please read it and thus adjust to the positive way. You can ask to make such horoscopes of friends, acquaintances, or relatives – in this case, the effect of suggestion may increase.
- Help those who are in trouble. This will help to treat your problems more efficiently and will make the world a better place.
- Amulets help some people. It is believed that some stones protect the owner from failure. It is known in psychology effect “placebo.” You can declare a T-shirt or pants “happy” and assume that wearing them. You will avoid failure. And if they happen, they won’t be serious. To some, such techniques will seem doubtful, but in practice, in some people, they work. For example, students take “happy pens” for the exam.
As you can see, there are many ways to deal with failures. The root of the problem usually lies in our psychology. No wonder they say: defeat yourself – and win the world. By changing your attitude to problems and adjusting to acting constructively, you will successfully solve problems. Good luck and success in life!