What is happening out there, Virginia? Nature is in revolt, and according to the experts, there has been a serious uptick in the reporting of snake sightings across the Commonwealth in recent months. First it was blister bursting terror plants, now this. NBC 12 first broke this story earlier in the summer, when they interviewed companies that specialize in the kind of remediation needed to manage a surge in the kinds of slithering serpents that hide in bushes, watery canals, rock walls, and your neighborhood garden. One such company that operations throughout the piedmont and coastal regions of Virginia even claimed that they are getting 150-200 reports of snake sightings daily.
That is a lot of snakes. Or as some who are more zoologically inclined might call them, ophidians.
Why so many snakes? The experts are saying part of the reason has been due to the mild temperatures this past winter. Thanks, climate change (again). Some of the world’s foremost experts in snake removal hail from the land down under and one such snake-whisperer, Andrew Smedley, claims that snakes live for an environment that is overcast, rainy, and humid – pretty much the last two months in Virginia. He says that this kind of weather provides for them a perfect opportunity to hunt other amphibians, telling The Chronicle in Australia, “The rain definitely brings them out. They are chasing the frogs.”
While the threat of terrestrial killing machines looms much larger in the Australian outback than in Virginia, sightings of the venomous Copperhead, or Agkistrodon contortrix, have spiked this year. Richard Perry, who owns Virginia Wildlife Management and Control, told CBS 6 said that people who see snakes will likely see the same ones over and over since evidently, snakes leave a sent as they slither, which attracts other snakes. Where are you most likely to encounter these summer serpentine satans? Perry says “homes with piles of leaves, grass, bushes, or shrubs.” Less reassuring: It is illegal to kill a snake in Virginia, unless posing a threat. What burden of proof must be met to satiate that legal quagmire? TBD. Just call a guy like Perry who specializes in this kind of thing.
There are a handful of indigenous species and sub-species of snakes in Virginia. Here is a list of snakes from the Virginia Herpetological Society that a person might come across in their daily travels in the Commonwealth, along with some other interesting snake trivia. When spotted, stay cool, breathe, and proceed to panic in an orderly fashion; be sure to avoid running into the giant hogweed as you beat tracks (terror plant).
Eastern Copperhead: Venomous, Virginia
“Eastern Copperheads are terrestrial snakes inhabiting a wide array of habitats. They are found in hardwood and mixed hardwood-pine forests, pine woods, abandoned fields in various stages of succession, high ground in swamps and marshes, forest-field ecotones, hedge rows, suburban woodlots, ravines along creeks in agricultural and urban areas, upland rocky areas, rock walls and woodpiles, and forested dunes near beaches, as well as around barns and houses (especially dilapidated ones) in agricultural areas.”
*Apparently Copperheads also love blueberry thickets.
Timber Rattlesnake: Venomous, Virginia
“In western Virginia, Crotalus horridus inhabits upland hardwood and mixed oak-pine forests in areas with ledges or talus slopes. Ledges and exposed areas are usually facing within 45° of south to allow maximum exposure to the sun during spring and fall. Habitat during summer is in open woods, grass fields, and secondary growth. In southeastern Virginia, C. horridus occupies hardwood and mixed hardwood-pine forests, cane fields, and ridges and glades of and adjacent to swampy areas. Rattlesnakes are usually terrestrial, but occasionally ascend low shrubs to obtain prey.”
Snake Plissken: Venemous, New York City
A former US special forces soldier (from an alternative future), Plissken was assigned to the “Black Light Unit” during the Leningrad and Siberia campaigns of WWIII. Shortly after his meritorious military service, he turned to a life of crime, after his parents were burned alive by the government for a perceived betrayal on his part. Deadly, cool under pressure, and cynical to his core, Plissken was eventually sentenced to life in prison in the New York City maximum security prison – which was the entire island of Manhattan. He was eventually offered a pardon if he agreed to rescue the president after Air Force One crashed in the New York City, precipitating the events of the cinematic masterpiece Escape from New York.
Northern Scarlet Snake: Non-Venomous, Virginia
“Northern Scarlet snakes are found in areas where the soil is loose, well drained, and (usually) sandy, and where the vegetation is dominated by pine trees. This snake is a burrower, seldom found in day-light except in or under logs and other surface objects; most have been encountered in late spring or summer as they crossed paved roads at night. Northern Scarlet snakes are reported to eat skinks (Plestiodon, Scincella), small snakes, frogs, small mice, and soft-bodied insects, although reptile eggs, particularly eggs of small snakes, are preferred.”
Eastern Mudsnake: Non-Venomous, Virginia
“Almost nothing is known of the biology of F. abacura in Virginia. Of the specimens available, most were killed on roads that traversed swamp habitat. It is a secretive, burrowing snake that spends most of its life associated with lotic water. Habitats include slow-moving streams and canals, swamps, forested wetlands, sluggish mud-bottom creeks, and ponds and lakes with swampy margins and aquatic vegetation. They may also be found occasionally during the day on banks under vegetation cover.”
Snake Island, Brazil: Terrifying
The first rule of Snake Island, Brazil – do not ever go to Snake Island, Brazil. Located 25 miles off the coast, the island known as Ilha da Queimada Grande is illegal to visit, since it is home to one of the deadliest pit viper’s that has ever had the pleasure of slithering into our nightmares. The Golden Lancehead can grow to be over a foot-and-a-half long and has a venom that is so deadly that one nibble can cause death in close to an hour. According to the Smithsonian, local lore collected about Snake Island has one story that goes something like this: “From 1909 to the 1920s, a few people did live on the island, in order to run its lighthouse. But according to another local tale, the last lighthouse keeper, along with his entire family, died when a cadre of snakes slithered into his home through the windows.”
Northern Cottonmouth: Venomous, Virginia
“Agkistrodon piscivorus is a semiaquatic snake inhabiting lowland habitats in southeastern Virginia. These snakes have been found in swamps, freshwater and brackish marshes, ditches, streams, rivers, and forested and grassland habitats adjacent to wet areas, as well as around permanent and semipermanent ponds. When out of the water, Northern Cottonmouths often lie under vegetation, in grasses, or under boards and other shelters. Some individuals bask on logs and horizontal limbs overhanging water. Adults will not venture far from water, but juveniles may disperse over long distances.”