Childbirth can be a stressful time, and that's where birth doulas can help. They offer support for women and couples during pregnancy, labour and birth, and the first few weeks postnatal. Doulas do not take a clinical role, but work alongside midwives and doctors to support women and families with decision making and maternity care.
1. Try to stop looking at giving birth as scary
Many women are traumatised about labour even before they're ready to start a family. Young girls may have been shown a film at school of giving birth and it terrifies them for years to come. It's often not depicted as natural or something the body is designed to do – but as painful and dramatic.
But birth is something the body is programmed to do, with the help of hormones. Just as we eat and the body uses the nutrients from food to give us energy, our hormones help us give birth.
2. Fear can inhibit the natural hormones needed for birth
If a woman is afraid, the production of endorphins and the feel good hormone oxytocin can be inhibited. Instead adrenalin is produced and this makes it difficult for the woman to relax and be calm. Animals in the wild can stop labour if they're not in the right environment. The same can happen to women if subconsciously they don't feel comfortable.
3. Hormones produced during childbirth are the same as when making a baby
It's important to give birth in a warm room with soft light that feels intimate, and the woman knows she is safe and secure. You don't make love with lots of people watching in a cold room with monitors around and in bright lights!
4. Childbirth is not quick
This is often a big surprise – usually to male partners – who want to rush to hospital. Physically and biologically you change when you go into labour and the process takes some time. However, most people wrongly perceive it as a woman walking along and all of a sudden she doubles up and goes into labour.
Labour starts properly when you have 3-4 contractions every 10 minutes, lasting for a minute each – and that can take a few hours. Even if a woman feels the urge to push she can still have an hour to go – it takes a while for the baby to push through.
5. Nobody can make the birth process quicker
It doesn't matter how many midwives are present, there's nothing anyone can do to speed the process up. This can be difficult to accept. All a partner or family can do is be present, supportive and encouraging. Once couples understand this fact then it feels more relaxing. That's where doulas can be with the couple to reassure them that everything is normal.
6. Childbirth is incredibly safe
The Birth Place Study – based on 65,000 pregnant UK women, found that a complication free pregnancy makes giving birth 99.4 per cent safe and adverse outcomes are very rare.
7. You don't have to follow every recommendation
Every woman is allowed to choose for herself most things having to do with her pregnancy and labour. However, those options and choices can be difficult to agree on. Medical advice does not always come with warnings. There is a risk with every choice you make – every day – not just when giving birth!
8. Understand what it means to be induced - and the risks
Labour starts when the baby releases a protein. If this is done artificially it can take two days to get a woman into labour during which time the baby may get distressed so the woman is at an increased risk of needing a caesarean.
9. You can have a positive and amazing experience
Women may have a natural birth or a caesarean but recovery time has a lot to do with how they felt during the process. If they felt happy in mind and body before and during the birth then they are more likely to have a positive and amazing experience.
10. Skin to skin contact is so important
In a straightforward birth, skin to skin regulates the baby's heat and for the first few hours the baby will pick up good bacteria from the mum's skin to help colonise his or her tummy. The areola will give off a smell of amniotic fluid and guide the baby to the breast. Babies have a 30 times better sense of smell than at any other time.
But skin to skin doesn't mean having a cheek against a tiny patch on the mum's chest but the whole (naked) body on mum's chest. The chest is one of the richest areas for releasing oxytocin, the compassionate love hormone. It's great for bonding. And that's why it feels nice to hug one another – whatever the age!