From day one, the thing our parents teach us and what we learn at school is that we all have to be self-sufficient in our lives. Our brains are trained in a way to live a life that depends the least on others and that we don’t ask anything from others which makes the importance of others in our lives is minimal.
In all this training of being self-sufficient, what most people forget is the fact that we all are humans and in one way or another, we are bound to connect with each other. Therefore, the whole fabric of society will fall apart if people started to avoid connecting with others. Thus, it becomes imperative that along with being self-sufficient people must also depend on each other. Depending on each other comes with the phenomenon of asking, therefore, to be successful in life, to understand life, and to live it in a better way we need to master the art of asking.
Asking Vs. Making People Do Things:
The contemporary approach of getting things done or pertaining to connecting with people is to make them do things. All the schools, colleges and universities teach us is how to get things done. They all teach us to apply extrinsic and intrinsic motivators to persuade people to do things. Parents deploy different strategies to get things done, whereas while the strange fact and the thing that would work 90 out of 100 times is asking people. On contrary to extrinsic and intrinsic motivators, when you ask people it makes them feel worthy of something and out of this worthiness they do their best to help you out in your problem.
Therefore, what people don’t realize is that all the energy, time and thought which they spend on making people do things could be saved if one can simply lean forward and ask from people. You can ask for help, ask for love, ask for money, ask for assistance, ask for sharing work, ask for care, and ask for kindness. There is nothing in this world, which you can have done via making which you cannot have done by Asking. Therefore, if there is any art you need to master to live life happily, it is the art of asking. To learn this art and achieve mastery in it you need to do three things. Practicing these three things help in getting better at asking and living life happily.
Humility- Without any doubt, you cannot possibly think of asking some anything if you have the ego of the size of a dinosaur. Therefore, the first thing that you need to do in order to learn and effectively utilize the art of asking is to be humble. The more you practice humility, the lesser it hurts to ask and the easier it becomes to understand and reckon the importance of asking and being asked from in return.
Be Vulnerable- The other reason why people refrain from asking something from someone is that they don’t want to be vulnerable. Being vulnerable with regards to asking is believed to lead to rejection or shame, thus people don’t show their vulnerability and suffer instead of asking. On the other hand, if you accept your vulnerability then you will gather the courage to ask, and when you ask your vulnerability pays off in the form of a solution to your problem.
Gratitude- Above all, asking does not come with only asking, rather complete the transaction between you as the person asking and the other as a giver you need to offer gratitude in return. Besides the fact that it makes the other person happy and elated for his help being appreciated, it also shows the kind of value you associate with asking. Therefore, to keep the process of asking effective and productive, reciprocate help with gratitude.
Now it’s Your Turn!
Are you in favor of Asking or a believer in Making? What worked for you? What is your opinion about asking people and how to ask people? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.