Despite repeated warnings from the international community, the residents of the North Pole descended upon Seoul, South Korea, on December 8th, 2012. Santa Claus, along with his wife, family, elves, cousins, aunties, uncles, friends, employees, the NP (North Pole) Labor Union, and his neighborhood association arrived in Sinchon in the early evening. The small army from the North Pole did not heed warnings from Japan, China, or the United States. Instead, the citizens of the North Pole risked flying over North Korea to reach Seoul. Analysts viewed the path as an unlikely option, since the flying sled technology utilized by the citizens of North Pole is highly susceptible to the subpar rocket technology of North Korea. However, one expert on North Polian culture, Edward Arnold, remained unsurprised by the chosen path. Mr. Arnold stated,
Santa is well-regarded as a non-respecter of national borders or national sovereignty. He annually demonstrates this disregard by ignoring nationally designated flying zones while performing acts of charity across the world. It should come as no surprise that Santa and his countrymen would elect a path directly over North Korea.
The arrival of hundreds of red and green residents from the North shocked both the unsuspecting citizens and the foreigners living in Seoul. Many Americans harkened back to the days of colonialism living under British subjugation. In fear they exclaimed, “The redcoats are coming,” but then continued to inebriate themselves. On the other hand, the southerners from the United States were encouraged by the crimson tide. Shouts of “Roll tide!” filled the air, but then they also continued to inebriate themselves and talk with funny accents.
The arrival of the citizens from the North Pole also bemused several Koreans. Most of the younger Koreans enjoyed the company and laughed at the odd looking foreigners. Nevertheless, while some of the younger Koreans understood the event, others could not overcome the wrinkles, odd body shapes, or horrible fashion sense of the invading foreigners. Unless these foreigners become more homogeneous, fruitful conversations with these young Koreans would be impossible.
Some of the older Koreans also understood and enjoyed the event. Several of the Koreans in Hongdae and Sinchon stopped the visitors from the North Pole for group pictures. Some Koreans simply watched in awe as hundreds of Santa Clauses walked down the streets with open containers of alcohol in their hands and Christmas carols on their lips. A few Koreans even observed that the disjointed attempts at caroling would never qualify the foreigners for Superstar K. Other Koreans enjoyed the festive crowd, but were disappointed when their requests to tone down the singing on the public subway were ignored. However, one unnamed Korean took the event in stride. He said,
Although I wish the group would be quieter in public places and on the subway, it’s undeniable that they bring a smile to our faces. I understand that like Koreans, the residents of the North Pole work diligently and only get to celebrate like this once a year. I’m also impressed with how all of the Santa Clauses brought T-money cards and are so knowledgeable about our subway system. I hope they return next year. Korea welcomes them.
It should also be noted that several of the visitors from the North Pole were at one time Korean citizens. However, the forces of globalization and the rapid spread of Santalogy led to their conversion and transplantation to the North.
In the early evening, the citizens from the North Pole arrived at Sinchon and gravitated to a bar known as Beer O’Clock. Next, they proceeded by the hundreds down the streets and into the Seoul Metropolitan Subway System. The army of red Santas rode the subway to Hongdae where they emerged bringing songs of cheer for all to hear. The group then migrated to HO (undoubtedly Ho, Ho, Ho) Bar 3 and later to Club Naked.
Although Santa was unavailable for comments, the leader of the North Pole Labor Union and former leader of the famed Keebler Elves, Mr. Keebler, explained why the citizens of the North Pole chose Seoul as the official site for their Santacon celebration. He explained,
While our work is currently appreciated more in the West, we chose Seoul because we have more in common with Korea than the rest of the world. Our success is dependent on our economy, and with a small number of citizens we work industriously throughout the year to meet our quotas. We feel like the South Korean people are the only ones who understand what it is like to work as tirelessly as we do. In turn, because South Koreans work and study so hard, this is also the only country that understands how to party as hard as we do. In terms of work ethic and self improvement, we feel more at home in South Korea than any other country in the world and we are EXTREMELY grateful for all of the support, love, and hospitality they have shown our expat community over the years. We would like to wish them a Merry Christmas and let them know that we continually hope and pray for the success and well- being of their beautiful country.
The event ended and the citizens of the North Pole returned home safely. The citizens of the North Pole are currently busy preparing for Christmas. However, they are planning to return to Seoul next year to share their holiday spirit in a country that many of them consider to be their second home.
Additional Links and Thoughts
I would also like to apologize because I missed a lot of pictures of everyone walking to the event and on the subway. My fingers were so cold that I could not even feel the shutter button on my camera. However, there were a lot of photographers in the mix so I’m sure they got some amazing shots.
Finally, I wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. I also wanted to wish my family back home a Merry Christmas. I won’t be home for Christmas, but it won’t be too long afterwards until you are sick of me again!