This world is long on self-centered people, and short on selfless people. The fact that you’re reading this indicates that you’re most likely a selfless person. Self-centered people haven’t learned how to be a friend, because they’ve probably never had a real friend before. You need to be that first real friend for them, if applicable. This role requires patience, a positive attitude and your own real friend. A real friend that you can look up to, someone you want to be more like and will give you good advice when you hit a wall with your self-centered friend.
1Identify the issue. What is your friend most self-centered about? What bothers you most about this friend?Ad
2Consider underlying problems. Your friend most likely behaves in this way for a (or many) reason(s). If you find yourself to be a good interpreter of behavior, try and understand why your friend may be acting so selfishly. If you can talk to your friend about this, you may be able to help him/her deal with the issue at hand.
3Check yourself. We all have a tendency to be selfish in at least one area of our lives from time to time. Know which area(s) you struggle with. For example, if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend and feel they should spend all their time with you, this is selfish. Avoid this area with your self-centered friend. If you both struggle with the same area, you can’t help them until you help yourself.
4Create opportunities to spend time alone together. You can’t be of much help, or support, with a group of people around.
5Listen more, speak less. Listen to what’s not being said. Ignore negative, noisy talk and recognize where their struggles are.
6Encourage them. If money management is an area where they struggle, help them identify one area where they can improve upon their spending.
7Check your progress. Pick up where you left off with your friend. How is the area of improvement going?
8Recognize that if your friend is not trying to improve or change, you may need to end the friendship. Give it time, though; change is hard.
9Talk to your friend. They may not even realize they're being self-centered. Tell them how they're making you feel, and they may stop.
10If all else fails, either tell them you feel that you need a small break from each other. You may even start acting likewise so that they get a "taste of their own medicine", so to speak. This last one can backfire! Make sure you're annoying them, but don't let it get to your head. This can ruin the entire thing. It is really best for your relationship with your friend if you can be upfront with your own feelings.
11Be super positive. They can and will kick you in the gut with hurtful words, so stay positive and hope it all ends with a snap of a finger.
12If they just seem too mean and self-centered, maybe you should just ditch them. They might just be trying to drag you down! Fight back with positiveness and never forget that other people matter too.
- If she or he keeps being like this you can totally not be friends with them anymore, if you feel like going to the big jump.
We could really use your help!
web site traffic and advertising?
- When others are around be cautious of your words, they could side with your self-centered friend and overpower you or the conversation.
- Make sure you let them know when they are being self-centered, as they may not even notice sometimes, but it gets annoying to others, and what you should be trying to do is help them.
- After you talk to them about it, make sure you don't make a scene about it to people and go gossip about what they did. This will make the friend you were talking to lose trust in you and they may even quit the friendship with you.
- Remember to listen. Everyone wants someone to talk to, and people like to talk about themselves. Your friend may just be insecure.
- Always try to talk to your friend. If you don't, you'll eventually have put up with too much, you'll snap, and you'll possibly lose a friend.
- Be careful not to spend too much time with your self-centered friend. They can and will drain you, if you let them.
- After talking, put some distance. He/she may need time to think over what you just said. Be careful not to say too much.
- Your self-centered friend may have difficulties once you start to get real with them, because their world is all they’ve ever known. Your challenge is to move them out of their own little world.
- Don't go too hard on them, because their spoiled minds couldn't take it. Go slow and easy. It's almost like teaching a baby to talk.
- Let them know you care but don’t enable.
Categories: Nuisances in Friendships
In other languages:
Español: ayudar a un amigo centrado en sí mismo a dejar de serlo, Italiano: Comportarsi con un Amico Egocentrico, Русский: дружить с эгоистом, Português: Lidar com um Amigo Egocêntrico
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 88,945 times.