As a parent it’s your role to make sure your child understands the connection between actions and consequences. As toddlers grow into preschoolers, they will continue to test their boundaries and your limits. It’s up to you, to teach your preschooler how to behave appropriately. Remember, discipline means “to teach.” It’s important to explain to kids what you expect of them before you impose consequences for a certain behavior. Even as you make it clear which negative behaviors will have consequences, don’t forget to reward good behaviors. The goal of discipline is to teach children the rules of behavior so that they can use them. Children appreciate the security of knowing what you expect of them. Always keep in mind that your child needs your help and love to learn good behavior. Growing up in a loving family is one way children learn self discipline with expectations that are fair and predictable.
Often when a child misbehaves he may be trying to gain attention. Or, he may not have a clear understanding of what is expected of him. Some of the more common ways preschoolers misbehave include:
Try not to pay too much attention to negative behavior because it can encourage your child to think that is the way to get your attention. Ignore temper tantrums and crying (when you know nothing is really wrong) as much as possible. If your child repeatedly throws tantrums, try to keep a diary of them. Include the time of day the tantrum occurred, whether the child was tired, hungry or over stimulated and any other triggers you can recall. This may help you recognize and avoid future tantrums. Write down what you did and what worked and what didn’t. Make sure to share this information with your child’s other adult caregivers.
GENERAL DISCIPLINE GUIDELINES
Most professionals agree that time-out is probably the most effective way to teach your child to obey and follow the rules. For time-out to work, however, you must remain consistent and calm. And you must use it each time a problem occurs, even if you are tired or busy. It’s also important for anyone who spends time with the child, like day-care teachers and grandparents, to remain consistent with limits.
The best way to use time-out for preschoolers is to isolate the child briefly from other children and activities. The child’s age can be a general guideline – three minutes for 3-year-olds and four minutes for 4-year-olds. They should get out of the time-out whenever they have agreed to comply. Time-out should be less about a set amount of time and more about a willingness to comply with the rules and requests that got them there in the first place. Choose a time-out spot that is close enough for you to see, like the bottom step, but is not an interesting place for your child to be. Make sure it’s safe. When your child breaks a rule, tell him one time what he has done wrong and send him to time-out. Time-out starts when your child is sitting quietly in his spot. Don’t allow anyone to talk to the child while he is in time-out. Misbehavior while in time-out should be ignored, but make sure he stays in the time-out spot.
Remember to show your child that your love is unconditional. Make sure he knows that while you want and expect him to do better next time, you love him no matter what.
Effective discipline also rewards your child for good behavior. Verbal rewards are easiest and best to let your child know you recognize her positive behavior. Be specific in your praise. Don’t just say, “You were a good girl today.” Instead say, “You did a good job today during story-time because you were quiet and sat still the entire time.” Make sure your behavioral expectations are appropriate for the developmental age of your child. In special situations when your child has really gone above and beyond your expectations, a small reward like stickers or a small toy is fine if you so choose. Using appropriate discipline can help young children to be in charge of their emotions, control their behavior and get along with each other.
WHEN TO CALL THE DOCTOR
If your child starts to exhibit signs of extreme misbehavior, such as: out-of-control tantrums; a change in appetite or sleep patterns; becoming aggressive; withdrawing; or changing how he plays and interacts with others; seek advice from your child’s doctor.
(8 a.m.-4:30 p.m.)
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