Many people think that fights between toddlers and parents, and toddlers tantrums come up because of a mismatch between what a toddler can do and what he understands. I want to challenge you to consider that a small child understands much more than you ever dream he or she could. It is certainly difficult for a child just learning to talk to express his observations and understanding. This is frustrating. But it is even more frustrating to observe parents just to ignore what a child can express, and to refuse going an extra mile helping to find the right words and explanations.
I want so suggest that you look for the possible mismatch between the toddler’s expressions and your understanding. Listening is an important skill, consisting partly of observing, partly of asking for clarification and partly of the willingness to hear and to see what you can hear and see. This perspective may help to transform a toddler’s tantrum into an opportunity.
If you do not listen to your toddler, how do you expect your toddler can listen to you. If you do not explain your views and reasons, how do you expect he can learn to reason. And if you regularly impose your will by force, how can you expect your child to behave peacefully.
There is another way to live with your child than fighting permanently. And it is more enjoyable for the whole family. For a very powerful explanation, watch this video. Open your heart.
Brain Development in a child happens at a very fast pace. And it is for this reason often said and in the meantime widely known that the first few years in a child’s life have a very high importance for the complete lifetime of a human. This video is a reminder and a guide for parents.
But all this begs an answer to this question:
How can I support brain development of my child?
The answer is simple and difficult at the same time. And it is not, as you might suspect, proper teaching. The answer is learning. But learning mostly done by the parents. To support your child properly, you have to learn communicating with him or her from the beginning, to see his needs, his anxieties, his happiness, his aspirations. And to learn how to respond to them by providing a secure environment, cheering successes, fostering self esteem and confidence into the world.
Your child has to develop a sense that he is welcome in your world as the unique person he is already way before birth.
If a child is trying to do something impossible, it is always better to show him how it would be possible, or how it could be dangerous instead of yelling “Don’t try this! You are too small, stupid, weak for this!”
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