As I was leaving church after a chaotically beautiful Christmas pageant rehearsal, a young father approached me. His family had joined Nativity within the past year. He was delighted to share that his shy four-year-old daughter had begun to end family storytime with her baby brother by saying, “I wonder where God is in this story” – the same statement I share after our congregation’s Sunday worship storytime.
Hearing this story gave me one answer to a common question from young parents and grandparents:
Q: How do I talk about God with my children?
A: Add space to notice God in family storytime.
You might begin a storytime, or reframe an existing one, and allow time to notice God as part of the storytime. (Note that I am using “family” in the most inclusive sense of the word, including but not limited to parents, grandparents and other important adults.) Adding space into storytime for noticing God can take whatever shape is best for your family. Here are some general guidelines for beginning:
Consider your book selection. Use the stories your children ask for over and over again and use your own favorites. Look for books that give equal importance to engaging illustrations and words and leave room for imagination and interpretation. Shy away from books that have very clear messages, leaving little space for wonder.
Read the story in the way that you usually would.
Afterward, wonder with your family: “I wonder where God is in this story.” “I wonder where you are in this story.” “I wonder…”
Once you have entered wondering time, there are several ways you can proceed. When your child answers, verbally reflect what they said, beginning with “I wonder…” Your child hears you affirming that they were heard, that their thoughts about God are valuable. This method works particularly well if there are more than two people listening to the story.
Another way to respond is with your own wondering. I wonder, where do you, as an adult, see God in the story. (This is an authentic spiritual practice for all ages!) When you begin your sentence with “I wonder…” you are opening up the idea that stories have many ways of interpretation and at the same time sharing your own faith with your child.
You can leave space for silence. If no one responds to a wondering statement, let the silence sit for a minute before moving onto another statement or activity. If your child is overtired, simply move onto bedtime after silence, letting any plans go. Trust the potential for Holy in the silence.
Do not respond by critiquing another’s answer. There are no right or wrong answers. Storytime is not an occasion for memorizing crucial tenets or creeds, but for finding a vocabulary and space for God. The hope is that you and your child are learning a way to talk about God. As Jerome Berryman, theologian and creator of Godly Play, writes, “…children know God in their nonspecific way and they need to be respected for that. What they need help with from adults is to learn the art of how to identify this experience and express, refine, name, value and wonder about it in the most appropriate language and action.”
As the spiritual practice of wondering becomes your own, combine and adapt methods to best suit your family. Storytime practices of wonder can be modified for use at mealtime, bedtime, movie night and as a way to read our Biblical stories as a family. And, as this article began, a child can be a natural leader of wondering.
I wonder where you will find God in this experience.
 Berryman, Jerome W., Children and the Theologians, p. 7.
We are always happy to have Anna Ostenso Moore, former Director of Faith Formation at Nativity Episcopal Church, Burnsville, MN, share her experiences and ideas about using children’s books in worship and family life. One of the greatest joys of her ministry at Nativity was reading storybooks to her congregation, young and old, during worship every Sunday. Anna enjoys reading books with a combination of humor and wonder, especially those by Peter Brown, Mo Willems, Shannon Hale and Lane Smith. She currently serves as Associate for Family Ministry for St. Mark’s Episcopal Cathedral, Minneapolis