Written by: Nick Bloodworth LMFT
The Enneagram is a psycho-emotional and spiritual tool that summarizes 9 types of personalities. Every one of us is born with a very specific way of thinking, feeling and being in the world. Everyone is unique but we also share common experiences. The Enneagram helps us with a greater understanding through a universal language that goes beyond gender, religion, and culture. An Enneagram is a tool that can be useful for home, work, community, or any other aspect of a person’s life. Each personality type is broken down into a healthy versus unhealthy state.
Type 1/The perfectionist. They are motivated to do the right thing and to serve others. When unhealthy, they often are judgmental and force others to feel as if they are failing.
Type 2/The helper. They are motivated to love others unconditionally and bring love into the world. When unhealthy, they try too hard to make someone feel loved and they assume to know what another person needs.
Type 3/The achiever. They are motivated to express their talents to the highest level of success and to inspire others. When unhealthy, they become deceitful and promote a self-image that is not authentic. They are known as “the Chameleon.”
Type 4/The individualist. They are motivated to express beauty in all they do. When unhealthy, they become self-absorbed with their feelings and focus only on negative emotions.
Type 5/The investigator. They are motivated to understand reality and to know what is real and true. When unhealthy, they become remote and unable to connect with others.
Type 6/The loyalist. They are motivated to find a true and reliable path for self and others. When unhealthy, they become addicted to worry and to feeling as if they are never safe.
Type 7/The enthusiast. They are motivated to express and experience joy and positivity. When unhealthy, they become distracted by all possibilities but unable to savor the moment.
Type 8/The leader. They are motivated to take charge and express power in a way that motivates others. When unhealthy, they take over and disregard the will of others. They also tend to push others too hard.
Type 9/The peacemaker. They are motivated to bring peace and heal conflicting situations. When unhealthy, they begin to fear conflict and promote fake peace.
As you study your type, you realize that there are healthy and unhealthy behaviors that flow from each personality. As we grow to understand our type, we develop particular skills that help us to reduce stress, anxiety, reactivity and responses that negatively influence those we love. Learning about your type and the type of those you interact with can help you in noticing when they are at their best/worst, which gives you the ability to see that a person is doing the best they can. This will help in eliminating judgment or criticism of a loved one as we can begin to understand through this unique language how that person is dealing with the adversity or stressors in their day to day lives and not become self-absorbed. This leads us to express compassion for others and their type’s patterns, which will enable us to grow humbly to appreciate how fast any one person can be triggered. With therapy, we can help you develop the skills to calm yourself and to bring you out of the daze of your type’s patterns and to help others you communicate with do the same thing. Knowing your type can help you understand why you may disconnect emotionally from your loved ones and lose contact with those they care about the most.