|MadSci Network: General Biology|
You have posed an unanswerable question. Psychologists from different schools of thought all describe love in different ways. The work you describe combines the neurobiological approach (hormones are chemicals that direct our behavior) with the behaviourist approach ( we repeat actions that are rewarding). However, this approach is often criticised by humanists as reducing people to animals. The humanists themselves believe that the need to belong and be accepted by others is a basic survival need. (Look up Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs in any introductory psychology book). This means we will do everything we can to conform to others' expectations of us to be liked even loved by them. The sociobiological approach explains the purpose of love - to ensure that our genes are reproduced and their carriers (our children) are reared in safety so that they live long enough for themselves in turn to reproduce. (Look up Richard Dawkins in any introductory psychology book or read "The Selfish Gene".) Psychologists who write books about liking and loving such as Z Rubin and Michael Argyle are social psychologists who study interpersonal attraction by observing and interviewing people. People gain all sorts of social rewards from being in a relationship and are willing to pay in time/money in order to be with someone. This theory predicts that we will end up loving someone similar to ourselves as the items we have to invest in a relationship (level of attractiveness, ability, wealth) will need to be the same otherwise one of the partners will resent being 'out of pocket'. I have found a sample book chapter on the web that explains these last ideas. http://www.a-levelpsychology.co.uk/a2/a2pkey/Chapter1.pdf However most of what you want is covered in text books aimed at school students studying exam courses in Psychology. Popular ones in the UK are Gross - Psychology: The Science of Mind and Behaviour or Psychology: an Introduction by Nicky Hayes and Sue Orrell. Maybe your librarian can find you the equivalent.
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