The Penn State and Syracuse University child sex abuse scandals have garnered nationwide attention and understandable outrage. The sad truth is that similar, although less publicized, situations like these happen in our communities everyday. Our task now is to put our collective outrage to good use. What steps can we take to protect children? A good start is to understand where the risk comes from. As the Penn State and Syracuse University cases illustrate, the greatest risk comes from people we know—family members, loyal friends, good employees, trusted members of the community—not strangers.
It’s hard to believe someone we know and like would abuse a child. Perpetrators know this and use that knowledge to ingratiate themselves with parents, children and institutions. In a process called “grooming,” those who sexually abuse children often go to great lengths to appear trustworthy and kind. They are experts at gaining the confidence of children, parents and other adults. They look for situations where they can have easy access to children.
There’s no foolproof checklist to identify an abuser, but there are some warning signs. You should be suspicious of an adult who repeatedly prefers to spend free time with a child or teen rather than adult friends, finds ways to be alone with a child, ignores a child’s cues that he or she does not want to be hugged, kissed or tickled, refuses to respect a child’s privacy in the bathroom or bedroom, discusses sexual experiences or feelings with a child or teen, gives a child money or gifts for no particular occasion.
We must also insist that youth-serving organizations set policies that protect children. Background checks are not enough. People who haven’t been convicted will come up clean. Institutions must establish clear guidelines for adult interactions with children, including eliminating one adult-one child situations, which is where most child sex abuse occurs. They must train their staff how to identify and prevent behaviors that put children at risk. The excuses that it is too expensive or inconvenient to do so cannot stand.
Policies must include immediately reporting any suspicion to police, who are trained to investigate these cases. Right now, there are staff in schools and other institutions who are abusing children or grooming them for abuse. And right now, there are other staff members who suspect this abuse is going on and are doing nothing about it.
Some institutions argue that an internal investigation is enough. This hurts kids. Abused children often don’t respond the way people expect, so they need to be questioned by specially trained personnel. No organization should take the role of determining whether abuse actually occurred, nor should it ignore the signs when confronted with them. The children we fail to protect will suffer the consequences for the rest of their lives.
It is not enough just to believe that the sexual abuse of children is repugnant. If we don’t change our approach—if we don’t take the time to prevent it, or take the risk to believe a child and act on that belief—kids will continue to be hurt.
As part of our commitment to reducing the risk of child sex abuse, our upcoming statewide conference features several workshops on the topics of sex abuse treatment and prevention, including:
- A Truly Safe Place: How Collaboration Between Domestic Violence and Child Advocacy Agencies Has Made New York a Better Place
- Think Outside the Box: A Creative Team Approach to Child Sex Abuse
- What Every Direct Services Worker Should Know About Human Trafficking
- Understanding the Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children
- Engaging Your School Community: Interactive and Accessible Sexual Abuse Prevention
- Preventing Sexual Abuse in Early Childhood (Two-Part Institute)
The conference is April 16-18 at the Marriott Hotel in Albany. Information and registration can be found on our web site.