How Can We Help Others Heal?
March 31, 2023
Roma Jani (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer
The word “healing” or “to heal” has various meanings. Some people heal only behind closed doors, whereas others rely on a listening ear. Others use a combination of both. Regardless of the path of healing, I believe that community, consisting of people and surroundings, plays a pivotal role in helping individuals who are going through healing processes.
How do we help others heal? There are several ways, let me break them down for you. Regardless of the path you take, the foundation of healing others consists of four pillars — love, kindness, compassion and respect. If you are incapable of helping others heal with any of the methods mentioned below, the least you can do is be kind to them or respectful of their privacy or needs.
The first method is to suggest a therapy session. Sometimes hurt, grief and pain can cause a person to lose themselves, to the point where they are incapable of asking for help. They might be so entangled in their own emotions, feelings and thoughts that they cannot see things clearly. The most practical and clinical way to help would be to direct them towards a therapist. In today’s day and age, mental therapy has become an essential part of life because there is no taboo around this term anymore. Communities and societies have embraced the idea of taking care of mental health just as much as their physical health. Due to widespread agreement on the importance of mental health, there are hundreds of resources out there, from online therapy to in-person meetings. Sometimes it’s just a matter of turning someone’s attention to these options so that they might get the professional help that they need.
The second method is to be a listening ear for someone. Observe them to understand what it is that they are responding to, from your actions towards them. Are they willing to talk to you? Or are they simply brushing off your questions, preferring not to talk? If they want to talk, be that listening ear to allow them to feel lighter by sharing. Ask them if they want advice, or if they simply want you to listen. Then take an action accordingly, based on what they state – not what you think they might need. If they would prefer not to talk, then respect that and simply let them be. Kindly give them the option of talking to you in the future if they change their mind, or whenever they are ready. Sometimes we want to rush people through their healing process, especially if they are our loved ones and we are emotionally attached to them, as we do not want to see them suffer and be in pain. However, normally that backfires, because the main ingredient of the healing process is time. They must walk through the journey of facing their feelings in stages to be able to heal. It is a delicate process that cannot be rushed.
The third method applies regardless of which of the first two methods you pick. Be patient with the individual, and with their pain in mind, create as many of the same routines around them as before as you can — be considerate but do not pity them, and keep your emotions out of the equation. You can even hold them accountable, if the situation calls for it. The last thing a person who needs to heal wants is you dumping your emotions and opinions about their healing process onto them. It is difficult — how could I possibly not tell them how sorry I am that they are going through this? — however, giving them space is how you can help them in this situation. They will appreciate that more than you can imagine. The reason for this is because some people find it empowering to process their pain only within themselves, and while they are doing that, nothing will help them faster and more efficiently than routines and normality around them. This will allow them the benefit of comparison during the healing process — between who they used to be and where they are standing right now, showing them a clear path of where they want to head in the future.
Providing people words of love, wisdom and care is part of a universal language that everyone knows. Let’s help others heal. Let’s always be kind and compassionate towards strangers — you never know what they might be battling with, inside their minds. Let’s always give space and options to loved ones. Let’s be stronger as a community so that we can support the most vulnerable ones around us, teaching them to walk once again.
My name is Roma. Writing is my passion and I hope to reach people’s hearts and make an impact via my words. I am a promoter of improving mental health, being compassionate, giving healthy space, understanding different love languages and ensuring quality lifestyles for everyone sharing the planet. I hope I was able to connect with you, the reader, through this blog post.
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