When others speak we have grown accustomed to increasing the speed at which we digest the information. This is an unintended consequence of the proliferation of competition. If we process words, tone, and body language more rapidly than the next person then we have more time to consider how to respond. Oftentimes we have even developed an ability to predict what others will say based upon how they have started a sentence. This is a terrible handicap for those of us on our leadership journey. By so doing, we mute the thoughts of others.
Imagine a time in which we most recently took on an acquaintance in a debate. At what point in the conversation did we stop listening and begin thinking of how we might respond? This is most unfortunate. It seems that our infatuation with competition is destroying our ability to not only listen to one another, but to show basic respect. To stop listening and place assumptions in our mind is a very disrespectful action. In this way we show that we respect what the other has to say so little that we refuse to even hear them out, much less actually consider their point of view. If we could put this act in body language then it would be similar to turning your eyes, face, and body 180 degrees from the person who is attempting to speak with you. For it is true, if our mind is pursuing a response while another is speaking to us, then we have turned away from them. We have turned them off.
Imagine then a better way, a higher way, one offering real opportunity to solve problems. We face so many problems today as a society, but we will never solve them unless we listen to one another. And by listening we display mutual respect. Mutual respect is addictive. It allows us to connect with one another. Instead of turning our backs on one another, we can engage in real discourse. This imbedded instinct bent on controlling our mind is a fierce adversary. We must recognize it in us. Why should we allow our mind to silence our acquaintance while they speak? Are we afraid that we might look bad if we do not have an immediate response at the ready? Who makes the rules of debate? Why should we not have time to truly listen to one another, digest the intellectual points made, and then utilize reason to formulate a response? Think about this, sincerely, for a moment. Working alone, do we honestly have all of the answers to solve all of the problems we face? Why not then take back control of our mind and silence our thoughts while others speak? What a different world we might enjoy today if we pursued mutual respect, that gained only by genuine listening.
Copyright © Robert Clinton Chedester 2013