As parents, we hope our kids will become strong, independent and driven adults. We also try to teach them to be kind, respectful and loving toward all people. Some may call this becoming a "man" or "woman."
However, Dr. Leonard Sax, physician and psychologist, explains why some teenage males remain stunted, never fully turning into men. He sees a steep decline in young men's motivation, according to a Fatherly article.
Sax notes that teenage boys read significantly less than teenage girls, if they read at all. Additionally, the statistics have flipped, with more women university graduates than men. Men are also more likely to drop out of college.
Why? Sax says, "Because boys are disengaging. They regard doing well as uncool and unmasculine."
We've all heard or read about the studies correlating too many video games and too much screen time to poor academics. According to Fatherly, "Scholars have found that beyond a threshold of six hours a week, there's a negative correlation between video games and academic achievement. A kid who spends 20 hours a week playing video games does much worse than one who spends five hours a week."
Additionally, Sax says that video games shift motivation from academics (not cool) to getting to the next level of popular games (enhances social status).
Sleep deprivation is huge. Lack of sleep makes it harder to focus and pay attention, and it affects motivation. Think of how you feel when you're tired due to lack of sleep. Is it hard to focus? Do you compensate with caffeine, which can then result in lack of sleep the next day? Does your productivity drop? It's the same with teens, but they're still developing, learning and growing. Insufficient sleep is not OK.
Many children take prescribed medication to help with undesired behaviors. While this is necessary in some cases, it can be dangerous if you're not careful. It can cause "damage to the motivational center of the brain" among other things, according to Sax.
If your child/teenager has a phone or other devices in their bedroom, it's hard to monitor how much time they spend and what they're looking at. They can spend hours on devices late into the night, and they can access dangerous, addictive material with a simple tap on the screen. Sax explains, "It's not [OK] for kids to take their phone to bed. Take it away at 9 p.m. and give it back in the morning."
Some parents fear their children, so they have a hard time setting limits and rules for them to follow. This is part of the problem. Children and teenagers need limits and boundaries.
Restrict screen time (phones, video games, television, etc.) to an hour or less a day. Keep all screens in common areas of the house, not hidden in bedrooms for unrestricted use.
Do not allow games with a mature rating, killing or sexual content.
Bedtimes are also important. Kids of all ages need adequate sleep to function at their best.
Be careful with medications. Yes, sometimes medicine is necessary, but sometimes lifestyle changes may also be effective.
You're not your child's friend and you're not supposed to be "cool." You're the parent and you must raise your child in a way that helps them succeed in life.