One thing that hopefully became apparent by paying attention to your thoughts is how irrational they can be. Oftentimes, patients are surprised at how illogical their beliefs are. It is not uncommon for me to hear things like "I know it is ridiculous that I thought everyone at the party was talking about me," or "of course I don’t actually think that if this doesn't work out, nothing ever will."
Now that you have some self-awareness of how you think, hopefully you are able to identify the types of thoughts you are having. As I mentioned in my last post, common types of automatic negative thinking include:
What if Thinking
What if I go to the party and no one talks to me?
What if I say something stupid?
I know everyone is talking about me.
They are all thinking I don’t belong here.
Black and White Thinking
If I don’t get this absolutely perfect, I will look like a complete failure.
This chicken came out a little bland; I’m an absolutely terrible cook.
I didn’t see the typo in that email, I’m so stupid.
My friend cancelled plans on me; that must mean our friendship is over.
Tip: Also be on the look out for key words such as always, never, should and must, as these words typically indicate a negative thought!
In your daily thought log, go back and identify the thought pattern. Once you do this a number of times, you should naturally start to identify your thought pattern in the moment that occurs. Has that happened yet? If it is not happening in the moment, keep working! Continue to log your negative thoughts throughout at the end. After you identify the thought, name the type of thought. With a little practice, it will start to occur naturally on its own.
Once you become aware in the moment that you are engaging in this negative pattern of thinking, you are ready for the next step.
Next Steps: #MentalHealthChallenge Step 2
I want you to actually challenge the negative thought. Go head to head with the thought by confronting it. Ask yourself questions to help disprove it, or at the very least, cast doubt on what the thought is telling you is true.
I bet she's talking about my sweater.
Thought: Mind Reading
Challenge: Ask yourself questions like: how do I know this is true? What is the evidence? What is another possible topic she is thinking or talking about?
My boss hated my report. I'm never going to get ahead in my career.
Thought: Catastrophizing, Black and white thinking
Challenge: What is the evidence that he hated the report? Does one report undo all of the good work and positive feedback I have received throughout the rest of my career? What can I do better next time?
Good ways to challenge negative thoughts are to ask yourself questions such as:
- What is the evidence that this is true?
- What is another possible explanation?
- Does it actually matter?
- What would I tell my best friend if they were having this thought?
- What is the worst possible outcome? Can I handle it?
Here is a recap of the process
1) Self-awareness of the presence of negative thoughts
2) Identify the type of negative thought
3) Challenge the negative thought
The goal is for this process to begin to happen automatically; ideally before you are even aware of the presence of the negative thought, but at the very least, before the negative thought has an opportunity to affect your mood.
Here is a sample thought log that you can use to help log this process. Keep writing and logging until you find yourself challenging thoughts in the moment.
Let us know how you are progressing!