Due to circumstances, a small percentage of children have to go in adoption and live with adoptive parents or in institutions established for this purpose. Study has revealed that quite a number of adoptive children suffer from psychological problem.
When a child comes to know that the persons with whom he or she is living are not biological parents, but he has come to them by adoption, it creates an emotional trauma in the child’s mind. He is unable to come to terms easily and this often results in creation of differences between the adoptive parents and the child. In certain cases, due to differences, attachment between them is also reduced. A child passing through this state of mind, often faces developmental delays and the learning and reasoning process slows down.
Compared to this, the children separated from parents and living in institutional environment tend to adjust in a better manner when they realise that their parents have given them up. The reason can be that they are living in the environment surrounded with similarly placed other children.
The extent of trauma to which the child is exposed on knowing the truth depends upon the manner he comes to know, and at what age he comes to know the truth. There is a difference of opinion between experts dealing with children problem. Some are of the view that the child should be told of the truth at an early age, others are of the view that the child should know when he is of 10-12 years of age. The source of information also impacts the child. It can be said that the adoptive parents should be the right persons to provide this information to the child. Early age when the child just starts understanding things should be the right age. This way the child grows up with the knowledge.
If the child is old enough to understand and gets information from outside source, he is most likely to revolt or develops sense of rejection. Also he develops feelings against the parents for having deceived him. It is also essential that when the child comes to know and behaves in a different manner, the parents should keep calm and be normal as they were earlier.
The realisation that his biological parents abandoned him or have given him away causes developmental problem in the child. The child finds it difficult to adjust with the parents with whom he was living happily. He is unable to adjust with other children of his class as the idea that others are living with biological parents keeps disturbing him.
Consequently, being isolated, he starts lacking interest in studies, further aggravating the cognitive development. In such a situation parents have a special duty. They should be ready to face such a situation if it arises with the children with patience and a calm mind. The teachers also have a special responsibility while dealing with such children by dealing in a manner that they tend to adjust to the new information. In acute cases the services of the counsellor expert in the field should be taken.