If you’re asking yourself “Am I Bisexual?” then here’s a handy checklist:
Thinking about the people you’ve been attracted to, so far in your life, were they all of the same gender?
If you answered “No”, to any or all of the questions in our list above then we feel it’s okay for you to call yourself bisexual. We don’t care how attracted you are to the genders around you – you’re bisexual as soon as you stop being exclusively attracted to only one gender.
That’s it. It really is as easy as that.
How you chose to self-identify is up to you – you can call yourself bi-curious, or pansexual, or biromantic, or omnisexual if you feel more comfortable with those terms. Some people identify as straight and have same-sex attractions. Some identify as gay and have different-sex attractions. How you label yourself is a matter of personal choice, but no matter what you add into the definition of gay, straight, or how you define bicurious or pansexual, the definition of bisexual as a sexuality remains very simple.
“Bisexual” adjective – attracted to more than one gender.
Some people describe their attraction as being to “men and women”. Our “more than one” definition for bisexuality covers this.
Some people see gender as fluid, or as having more options than two. They describe their own pattern of attraction as being to “all genders”. Our “more than one” definition covers this if they want to identify as bisexual.
Many people have attitudes about bisexuals, based around myths and assumptions, and these have been tagged on to the definition of bisexual over the years.
It’s time to strip those off. The greatest tool in awareness is language, and bisexual has a very clear meaning.
Don’t worry about not being a ‘proper’ or ‘true’ bisexual – it’s okay to have a preference or to only be attracted to one gender at a time for parts of your life. The dictionary definition does not say “currently”, or “equally”, or “simultaneously” or “only”, and neither does ours!
This is how we define it: A bisexual is someone who is attracted to more than one gender. You might care about the gender of your partner a lot, a little, or not at all – but their gender doesn’t prevent you from being attracted to them.
If you are in the process of figuring out your bisexuality, it is likely that you will encounter mixed messages out there in the world, and they won’t always be supportive. Some people have pretty intense hangups and fears about sex, doubly so when it comes to sexuality that is different from their own. But, this isn’t about them and their issues. This is about you.
There is no right or wrong, better or worse sexuality:
If you figure out you are straight, that’s wonderful.
If you figure out you are gay or lesbian, that’s wonderful.
If you figure out you are bisexual, that’s wonderful too.
The only “mistake” you can make is to be untrue to yourself and try to live a life that is someone else’s vision. Figure out what makes you tick and what makes you happy. Take precautions to protect yourself physically and mentally, and discover your true self sooner, rather than later. As the saying goes, it’s better to regret the things you did than regret the things you didn’t do. It’s your life and you have to live it. Make it wonderful.