Boundaries are the backbone of any successful relationship, so why are they so difficult to establish and maintain?
Human nature is one reason—setting boundaries is a skill not often taught, and we don’t always know how to recognize our limits. But mood swings add another challenge. It’s difficult to draw fair and appropriate lines with others, for instance, when we’re highly reactive.
Establishing boundaries not only helps develop a solid sense of identity, it also protects against getting overly embroiled in other people’s lives.
Research professor Brené Brown goes so far as to equate setting boundaries with an act of compassion. This is how she puts it in her book Rising Strong: “Compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They’re compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment.”
And isn’t avoiding resentment an act of self-care? Marriage and family therapist Michelle Farris advises giving ourselves permission to set healthy boundaries.
“Challenge old beliefs that get in the way,” she says. “Feeling bad about yourself keeps you pleasing others and neglecting yourself. You absolutely deserve to get your needs met.”
A study published in 2012 in the Journal of Consumer Research found that using sentences that begin with “I don’t” rather than “I can’t” allowed people to feel more empowered when declining unwanted invitations.
That empowerment is a positive step toward creating healthy parameters.
“Practice the power of a positive ‘No,’” says Melvin G. McInnis, MD, FRCPsych. “If you are not using a ‘No’ on at least a weekly basis, ask your therapist if perhaps you might be too agreeable and might have difficulties setting limits and boundaries.” Read more >>
December 7, 2018—Faces that are seen as competent are also perceived as more masculine, according to new research published in the journal Psychological Science.
“Our research sheds light on the pernicious gender bias in how we perceive others—we judge masculine looking people as competent,” explains psychology researcher DongWon Oh of Princeton University, first author on the study.
This is important because research has shown that individuals with more competent-looking faces are more likely to be elected as high-ranking politicians such as US senators and as the heads of large companies. Read more >>
It’s important for people with bipolar disorder to define their various thoughts patterns.
#1 Obsessive thoughts: Obsessive thoughts generally override other thoughts and become like intruders into your consciousness. The content of your thinking tends to be ruminative or perseverative, says bphope columnist Steven Weisblatt, MD. “What you are thinking about may be normal, but the degree of your preoccupation with the thought is blown out of proportion.” Obsessive thoughts are difficult, and sometimes impossible to ignore, or even compartmentalize temporarily. This is particularly noticeable at bedtime, and a wave of thinking you can’t get rid of keeps you awake. Read more >>
Faces that are seen as competent are also perceived as more masculine, according to research published in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science. December 7, 2018—”Our research sheds light on the pernicious gender bias in how we perceive others—we judge masculine looking people as competent, a judgment that can affect...
Have you noticed the following relationship warning signs? You’re both angry. You communicate by fighting. And you both feel disrespected. If so, don’t lose hope! You can transform the relationship into one that is meaningful, successful, and happy. It all has to do with boundaries. The Importance of Boundaries Boundaries are absolutely necessary to keep...
Whether it’s your spouse or a family member with bipolar, it’s important for caregivers to set certain personal limits; here’s what you need to know: Why are boundaries necessary? Setting limits are part of the overall self-care for you. Caregivers need to make their own physical and emotional health a high priority when supporting...
December 27, 2018 • Volume 11, Issue 52 Subscribe to Hope & Harmony Headlines Taming Obsessive Thoughts as We Look to the New Year Don’t let the “what-ifs” get in the way of living your best life. Especially now, on the brink of a new year, it’s time to put obsessive thoughts in...