Conflict Resolution with Preschoolers
1. Approach calmly, stopping any hurtful actions.
2. Acknowledge children's hurt feelings.
3. Gather information.
4. Restate the problem.
5. Ask for ideas for solutions and choose one together.
6. Be prepared to give follow up support.
From Real Science in Preschool: Here, There, and Everywhere by Polly Neill.
1. Reduce a child's agitation. Acknowledge his/her feelings by:
A. Identifying it: "You sound disappointed. It can be upsetting when ..."
B. Accepting the feeling, but not the harmful action: "You are so disappointed that you are ... I can't allow that, but you can ..."
2. Open the line of communication.
A. State your expectations.
B. Describe the problem and your disapproval or reactions/feelings to it instead of accusing.
C. Point out a way the child could be helpful.
D. Instead of criticizing, point out what needs to be done: "All this poem needs now is correct spelling, and it's ready for the bulletin board!"
3. Help the child or student resolve a problem.
A. Brainstorm together. Write down all ideas without evaluating.
B. Give information.
C. Talk about consequences and how to put certain ideas into action.
D. Offer a choice.
4. Reduce desire to misbehave.
A. Look for opportunities to praise the child or put him in a situation where he can view himself differently.
B. Let the child overhear you say something positive about her.
C. Model the behavior you would like to see.
D. Remind the child of past accomplishments.
Adapted from How to Talk So Kids Can Learn: At Home and in School by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish