We call it Sunshine. Florida’s open government laws provide the public access to leaders and policymakers who need our input.
But input delivered without grace falls on deaf ears.
Etiquette teaches that everyone you meet is worthy of your respect. Our elected and appointed leaders have sacrificed so they may serve the public. They need to listen thoughtfully with dignity and respect. Then they may give their opinions respectfully considering those they have promised to represent.
The public also needs to give that respect in return. If you speak to a leader at an open meeting, honor the position of that leader. Obey the time constraints. Plan your message remembering the requirements. Volunteer your name and address with enunciation and then give a one-sentence summary of your issue. Develop that issue in a brief presentation and then finish with your call to action on the subject. Lastly sit down and honor those who have differing opinions.
The audience also must show respect by remaining courteously quiet while others speak. It is also civil to shake hands with both opponents and allies before and after the meeting.
Should someone have tried to contact you before the meeting, return the communication promptly. The rule of etiquette is all calls must be returned by the end of the business day. Anything less is disrespect.
Prepare for the meeting by studying the facts at hand. If you are a public official, plan to listen to and entertain a different perspective. Take notes. Stay at the task instead of leaving the discussion, certainly by not engaging your laptop on other issues.
The rule of etiquette is to give others undivided attention, so any work on an electronic device during a meeting may indeed give the impression that you are not engaged with the meeting. Legal pads receiving handwritten notation show undivided attention.
If you are a member of the public and someone prior to you has listed the same facts, abbreviate your content. Don’t just speak to hear the music of your own voice. Smile when delivering your point, looking each participant in the eye.
Attack is not the goal. Exchanging ideas and finding a common ground even with compromise makes the community thrive. Never direct an insulting comment at another participant.
Character defamation is the childish behavior of a bully, but edification and appreciation show character.
How you deliver your comments paints you forever in the minds of others. Attack dogs enunciate barks in staccato. If you behave like a dog, folks will treat you like a dog.
Decide, plan, to like your adversary. Use tone and body language that engages but does not demean. Practice lovely tone at home, and it will come naturally in public.
Etiquette in the Sunshine could be divine. Respect, build up, plan ahead by budgeting your time. Find words and tone which give grace, and don’t forget to shake hands with those of differing persuasions. This will bring our community together instead of ripping us apart.
Diann Catlin is an etiquette consultant and is currently serving as a citizen member of the Times-Union’s editorial board.