In a move that takes miniaturisation to a whole new level, Google has announced plans for “the next step beyond the tablet” : the Google Pill or Gill. The user ingests a Gill which, using ultramicronano technology, allows them to wirelessly connect to the Internet and perform all their normal activities hands-free by the power of thought alone. Additionally, a range of sea creatures have had Gills attached to their respiratory organs and are currently scanning the depths of the Pacific Ocean in the first phase of the Google SeaView project.
Meanwhile, rival Apple has countered this development with its own Appository (TM). The device, inserted into the rectum, uses the energy inherent in the human digestive process which, they say, “marks a fundamental change in how we use the Internet”. Although the most sophisticated Internet usage is not possible, this is not considered a significant problem since so much Internet use like Facebook updates and comments on blogs similarly does not depend on the involvement of the brain.