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This page is an excerpt from:
Survival Strategies of Children & Teenagers
When faced with a difficult situation, children "cope" by coming to an understanding (possibly distorted) about what is happening and dealing with the flood of hurtful emotions. Their strategies can involve feelings (emotional), thoughts (cognitive), or actions (behavioural).
Some strategies are helpful
Some strategies are helpful but costly
These are some coping strategies commonly observed in children and teenagers who have lived with violence and maltreatment. Remember that coping styles vary with age.
Mental Blocking or Disconnecting Emotionally
Making it Better Through Fantasy
Looking for Love (and Acceptance) in all the Wrong Places
Taking Charge Through Caretaking
Reaching out for Help
Crying out for Help
Re-Directing Emotions into Positive Activities
Trying to Predict, Explain, Prevent or Control the Behaviour of an Abuser
Handout for Women
Help women use this sheet to identify coping strategies of each of her children (this exercise will not be helpful for babies, toddlers, or most pre-schoolers). Distinguish between those used in response to violence in the past and those still used today. The group can brainstorm specific ways to encourage healthy strategies.
Want to know more?
Alison Cunningham & Linda Baker (2004). What About Me! Seeking to Understand the Child's View of Violence in the Family. London ON: Centre for Children & Families in the Justice System.
back: Why the Everyday Essentials for Parenting are Important — table of contents — next: Impact of Violence on Infants
Find more information on working with abused women in these two resources from 2008.
If you want more information on how children are affected by living with domestic violence, see our various publications and resources on Children and Domestic Violence
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