Bang, in a split second your hands start shivering and you go into panic mode. You get confused and block.
Or you might struggle with asking for a bus ticket. As soon as you see that driver looking at you and notice the queue of people behind you, you become so afraid, it seems worse than any horror movie you’ve ever seen.
In these such situations, a conditioning process has happened. Just seeing someone or hearing a sound can trigger anxiety. This is how habits work. Something usually happens the first. You attach meaning to it and it creates a reaction inside you. The next time the same thing happens. You react in the same way!
Habits in effect are learned over time. The good thing about learning things is, if you look deep enough there is a structure. One thing leads to another. And this has a result.
Think of if it almost as a maths equation.
With a maths equation, you can put different figures into the sums to give different results.
It really isn’t that different with habits associated with stammering.
Say someone looks at you with impatience when you are speaking. This is the trigger. Or one piece of the equation. Normally you might have responded by thinking the person is judging you because of your stammering. This is the other piece of the equation.
You might feel bad for the rest of the day.
But do you really need to do this? By doing so, does it help you keep a balanced mind? Or course it doesn’t.
So what can you do?
Change the equation! Create a different result. Create one in which you remain empowered, balanced and have a continued sense of direction of what you want to achieve.
Taking the example of the person looking at you with impatience further. How do you know he or she is judging you because of your stammering?
You don’t. What if the person was desperate to use the toilet!?
You can see where I’m going here. By giving the person’s reaction to you a different meaning you create a different result. In this case, you stay calm. That person’s reaction is his/her problem. And you have to admit, imagining the other person dying to go to the toilet is pretty funny!
Remember events will happen. People will say things to you. They will do things. How you choose to respond, you have control over.