5 WAYS TO HELP CHILDREN CARE MORE ABOUT OTHERS
Below are five ideas for helping children expand their “Circles of Concern” so they are more aware of and begin to build empathy for many different kinds of people. These days, it can feel like caring is in a downward spiral—especially when it comes to our ability to care for those who are outside of our immediate circles of friends and family and those who look, worship, or vote differently than we do. Indeed, Making Caring Common research suggests that caring hasn’t been a priority for young people or their parents when compared to personal happiness or achievement.
In our 2013 survey of 10,000 youth, 80% told us that achievement or happiness is their top priority, while only 20% identified their top priority as caring for others. Youth we surveyed were even more likely to say that their peers valued achievement and happiness over caring, and they were three times more likely to agree than disagree with this statement:
“My parents are prouder if I get good grades than if I’m a caring community member.” One of the key strategies that we developed to help parents and educators combat this trend is our“Circle of Concern” exercise.
Circle of Concern acknowledges that, while empathy for those in our immediate “circles” of family and friends tends to come naturally, developing empathy for people outside those circles must often be more intentional. Because these exercises are intended to help build children’s empathy “muscles,” commit to them for at least six to twelve months.
1 Hit the library. Create a reading list of books in which the main character is different from your child in a significant way, and read and discuss at least one book each month (Common Sense Mediaand your local librarian are excellent resources for compiling an age-appropriate reading list). How is the book’s main character different from your child? How are they the same? What is one question your child would ask the character if he or she had the chance? Would your child want to be friends with the main character? Why or why not?Map it out.
2. Help your child learn about new countries and cultures by hanging a world map in his or her room or in a common space in your home. Spend some time each week researching and discussing the culture of that country (the Smithsonian’s online encyclopediaand the CIA’s World Factbook offer free online resources for this). Together with your child, develop five questions about each country you choose. For example, how do people greet each other? How do they say goodbye? What foods do people eat? What holidays do they celebrate? Older children might be interested in the types of government in different countries and their human rights records (Amnesty International can be a good source for this information).
.3. Have a friendly competition. Who can say “hi” to the most new people in a week, you or your child? If it’s age-appropriate, keep a log of everyone you and your child greet in a notebook or on your phone (extra points for a selfie with new friends!). The winner gets to choose a special dinner or dessert at the end of the contest. Raise the stakes. Ready for more?
4. Encourage your child to invite someone new to sit with her or him at lunchtime, invite a new friend over, and/or lend a hand to someone at school who isn’t a close friend. You’re not off the hook! Do the same at your workplace or in your neighborhood. Discuss the experience with your child afterwards. What did you both learn?5. Practice makes perfect. How can you and your child contribute to others in your own community? Whether it’s shoveling a neighbor’s driveway when it snows or taking a neighbor’s trash to the curb, organizing a park clean-up every few months, or bringing canned goods to a food pantry each month, discuss and choose a regular activity with your child that brings you both in touch with those who are in need in your community. Interested in more research and strategies for raising kind kids? Visit us atwww.makingcaringcommon.org and follow us onFacebook and Twitter. This post was written by Alison Cashin, Director and Luba Falk Feigenberg, Research Director
I always hear this within the law of attraction. Visualise it, feel it, believe it and it will happen.
In my life I realised this was true when I had a horrible experience which I later on realised was the universe working for me.
I had been day dreaming about having a home in a secluded area, not too far from town but far enough to feel like I was in the country. It had to be secluded as the house I was in was bang in the centre of town with no privacy, I had kids peering in my livingroom window at night! I was surrounded by junkies and noise of the clubs coming out at night!
I just didn’t like where I lived and I kept telling everyone how much I wanted this new house i had been visualising. Then out of the blue a knock at the door and there was an official looking man with documents to say I was being evicted. The landlord had sold my home without telling me. I had six weeks to move. I broke down into tears and phoned my friend who told me – “but this is what u wanted why are you crying” oh God so it was but not like this, it is out of my control.
I frantically looked and looked for some place to stay, I was just about to look at a town house when one of my clients drove past and asked what I was doing in this part of town. I told her I needed a house but just couldn’t find one, she then told me she had just viewed a house but It was too big for just her. She described it to me and I knew that was the one. She gave me the number of the landlord and I called him and told him I wanted his house. Without viewing it I packed up all our belongings(okay the husband did) and thw next day we were outside the house.
I can’t believe it, it is in the area I wanted, it is secluded yet near town. I have horses going by my window now and a beautiful view of the country, my back garden is secluded.
I sat outside the new house and suddenly it all dawned on me. The universe always delivers in unexpected ways in its own time. Everything that happened was happening for me. When I took the time to look back over my life this kind of thing has always happened.
One thing to be careful of when you know how it works is to be careful what you wish for……cause you just may get it.
The shift is happening and is so clear to see with so many high profile celebrities now awakening and realising that the world the way it is right now is not running in harmony and is full of too much conflict.
I love lady gaga for her basic explanation of how she sees the USA and what she feels can be done about this.
Kindness is free and can be given over and over and received again and again. The most important thing we can teach our children is kindness and awareness in education and at home. We are all one and with kindness and compassion we can truly connect with each other.
Lady Gaga set up a Foundation a few years ago called Born This Foundation and has declared 2017 our Year of Kindness because kindness is foundational to everything we do.
How we treat one another impacts how we feel about ourselves, how we feel about each other, and how healthy our communities are. That’s why we believe inspiring people to be kind is the key to building a more vibrant and productive world. We understand this is no easy task and we can’t do it alone.
I discovered Heartmath techniques along with so many other’s when I was at a lower point in my life. My energy was low, I was anxious for no reason!!!None that I could find as my mind was working overtime. I am not one to wallow in it, yes I hit hurdles but I get back up and keep on trying…what other option is there.. LOTS..I later discovered.
So I discovered HeartMath, bought the earpiece and hooked it up to my ipad. It felt like a futuristic way to meditate but it is so much more than sitting clearing your mind and if you stick at it you will feel the difference.
Below are the steps for heart focused breathing – once you get this down, add some of your fave tunes. I found my face aches after doing a session, I just smile all the way through it really relishing my memories of amazing adventures and loving the good tunes along the way
There are three steps:
Step 1: Heart Focus. Focus your attention on the area around your heart, the area in the center of your chest. The first couple of times you try it, place your hand over the center of your chest to help keep your attention in the heart area.
Step 2: Heart Breathing. Breathe deeply but normally and feel as if your breath is coming in and going out through your heart area. As you inhale, feel as if your breath is flowing in through the heart, and as you exhale, feel it leaving through this area. Breathe slowly and casually, a little deeper than normal. Continue breathing with ease until you find a natural inner rhythm that feels good to you.
Step 3: Heart Feeling. As you maintain your heart focus and heart breathing, activate a positive feeling. Recall a positive feeling, a time when you felt good inside, and try to re-experience the feeling. It may be a memory of your family or your children when they were young. One of the easiest ways to generate a positive, heart-based feeling is to remember a special place you’ve been or the love you feel for a close friend or family member or treasured pet. This is the most important step.
Quick Coherence® is especially useful when you start to feel a draining emotion such as frustration, irritation, anxiety or stress. Using Quick Coherence at the onset of less intense negative emotions can keep them from escalating into something worse. This technique is especially useful after you’ve had an emotional blowup to bring yourself back into balance quickly.
When I own my home I shall be Happy
When I buy my new Car I shall be Happy
When I loose a stone I shall be Happy
When I live someplace sunny I shall be Happy
Do you remember how long your happiness lasted when you got your new car? Was it a Day a Week a Month, did it then become just a car and your happiness levels went right back down to where they normally sit?
Seeking happiness from outside sources may seem like a good idea or even the only idea but without working on yourself from the inside then your happiness levels will always go back to the level they were at before and if that wasn’t a great level then you could be in for some dark days.
Here are a few tips to help you out
Don’t waste your time chasing happiness you’re looking in the wrong place and missing the joy of now. Learn to enjoy the scenery as you travel through your days. Life on this planet is a never ending story.
Stop sitting and waiting
You can’t sit back and wait for the perfect moment. What if it never comes?
You might be waiting for life to really begin, but first there’s obstacles and hurdles to get past. Or there’s something else that needs to be done before you can really get going.
There’s a big surprise in store for you, when you wake up one morning and discover those challenges and obstacles and things that needed doing first, were in fact your life.
And you’ll have used up your precious time waiting. Don’t do this to yourself.
Jump into life with both feet and take a chances. Get yourself a dream, because your dream creates your actions and your actions make up your life.
Enjoy the ride
If you’ve been going through life avoiding as many negative emotions as possible, I’ve got news for you. It doesn’t help. And it probably hurts.
Emotions are messengers, sent to remind us of what we’re doing or thinking. They’re trying to get your attention.
Give the messenger a chance by allowing the feeling. You don’t have to wallow in bad breaks or nasty break-ups, but you do need to give yourself permission to feel unhappy or sad and scared.
Life will always be up and down. Feel the feelings, then move on and enjoy the ride. Don’t ever allow the hurts and pains of life to stick around because they’re waiting to be felt. Let them in and let them go.
If you realized how powerful your feelings were you’d allow them in and release them as soon as you could. Get this step right, so you can move forward.
Find the strength within
Failure isn’t horrifying, or something to be ashamed of, no matter what you’ve been told. It doesn’t mean you don’t measure up, but that you’re stretching yourself beyond your current limits.
It’s a winning game plan for life and frees you from the exhaustion of perfectionism.
Look at the lightbulb man thomas edison – he failed thousands of times before the light turned on, he never looked upon each one as a failure, just getting closer to the goal.
A child when learning to walk doesn’t try a few times then give up, no they keep on falling down until they can do it.
Remember those who never make a mistake, rarely make anything at all. And even if you never learn to love failure, don’t let that stop you from being like most of the great ones in life, who failed their way to success. It worked for them and it can work for you.
Be of service
By being yourself. The greatest gift you can give the rest of us is to walk your talk. Be honest with where you are. So you’re having a crappy day. Fine. Have people around you that you can be honest with.
Sometimes letting people support you is all you need to get back on track.
And do the same for others. Encourage them. Raise them up. Show them how valuable and necessary they are in our world.
Each one of us has something unique to bring to life, some special role to play. Don’t hide behind a mask of ‘how I should be’. The only ‘should’ that matters is that you be totally, brilliantly you.
I used to always think people would think I was shit to be around if I wasn’t happy but now I realise who really gives a toss. It is ok to have down times, just don’t stick around in downtown city, get your ass back up and slap that smile on.
Get it done.
Is getting something done. Letting things pile up… be they unfinished projects, or unpaid bills or unspoken resentments, is a surefire way to step into a state of overwhelm. And nothing good comes out of overwhelm.
Invest a little time every night to save a lot of time every day.
Each night before bed decide on the most important things to be done tomorrow. And write them down, as though they were accomplished.
‘I’m really happy and grateful now that….I finished that project that’s been hanging over my head….I had that conversation I’ve been putting off for weeks…I set up those appointments I’ve been procrastinating about’.
Read them before falling asleep at night and you’ll be doing what many of the great inventors did, using your subconscious mind to work on your behalf while you sleep.
Create your own reality
When the day is over let it go. Mistakes might have been made. You did the best you could. And if you didn’t, tomorrow is waiting, fresh and new and filled with possibility. Don’t carry the nonsense of yesterday into tomorrow.
New experiences are waiting. But they exist only as possibilities as long as you think ‘of them’. They become overpoweringly real when you think ‘from them’ as though they already were.
You have been given the power of imagination. Use it.
Experience in your imagination what you wish were happening in your life, and as you successfully heighten your ability to use your imagination, you’ll discover this inner, invisible world to be the source of your reality; you’ll be living from your highest self.
When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness. ~Eckhart Tolle
We should pay more attention to what the Eastern philosophy already knows about the body and mind.
“Ultimately I see mindfulness as a love affair – with life, with reality and imagination, with the beauty of your own being, with your heart and body and mind, and with the world.” – Jon Kabat Zinn What an inspiring way to describe mindfulness. Life is beautiful. In the beginning it takes practice, and yes, […]
Absolutely loving this book and its easy to understand and put into practice. I cant recommend this book enough to anyone who is like me and into improving their life.
“The Chimp is an emotional machine that thinks independently from us. It is not good or bad, it is just a Chimp.”
Prof Steve Peters’ The Chimp Paradox took the self-help world by storm in 2012 and his methods and teachings are used throughout the business and sport psychology worlds. The book depicts a way of understanding the brain and the the different functions of its component parts, and teaches you how to manage them.
His primary idea is
View original post 1,416 more words