Counselling Twickenham, Whitton I work with:
counselling for depression
counselling for anxiety
survivors of rape
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What is Anger?
Anger is a basic emotion which has allowed us to survive as a species. It protects us from danger and is expressed as a result of not having our needs met, or our boundaries respected. We are programmed with the ability to express our anger from birth – and then it gets complicated. Although it is a healthy, normal emotion it is probably also the most complex. It can be a creative force for change or a destructive and aggressive way of dealing with a sense of injustice. Different cultures and families hold different views on how it can be expressed. It is often poorly managed and can be destructive when out of control. If anger cannot be expressed it may be internalised and eat away at our confidence, causing anxiety and relationships to suffer. For some people these intense emotions can become addictive and destructive. Sometimes people may be trapped in a cycle of escalating aggression, hypervigilance and catharsis. There is a fine line between expressing your anger and losing control.
Symptoms of Anger:
alcohol or drug dependence may cover an anger problem
depression or anxiety may indicate introverted anger
excessive feelings of fear about perceived threat
explosive outbursts that cannot be controlled
disproportionate feelings of vulnerability
extreme controlling behaviour
domestic violence and abuse
rages when driving or at work
Causes of Anger:
There are many reasons why people are unable to control their anger; often it is a family or cultural pattern that has never been questioned. In some families women are not allowed to express anger; in others being angry is unacceptable and a sign or failure for all. Tiredness, stress, pain and hormonal imbalances can all contribute to the problem. We all have ‘hooks’ for our anger whether it is a person pushing in front of a queue or being ignored. Understanding what they are and re-examining our thoughts around them can be among the first steps to managing anger.
The goal of counselling and anger management is to reduce the intensity and state of arousal that it creates. Counselling can help you to manage your anger and explore the underlying issues. Knowing how to recognise and express your anger in an appropriate way can help you reach your goals, solve problems and have your needs met. How could counselling help with anger?
examining the ‘hooks’ for our anger and understanding them
looking at our own unhealthy beliefs attached to our anger
reassessing some of the unhelpful beliefs about anger in our family
understanding how aggression affects our close relationships
taking responsibility for our own arousal levels
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