The Trevor Project’s 2021 National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health found that of LGBTQ youth are 4x more likely to attempt suicide than their fellow peers, with 1.8 million LGBTQ youth (13-24), seriously consider suicide each year in the U.S. — and at least one attempts suicide every 45 seconds.
Those are some scary statistics and what is even scarier is 48% of LGBTQ youth reported they wanted counseling from a mental health professional but were unable to receive it in the past year. Whether the family being unable to afford help, being unsure how to access help or feeling as if they can't ask for help due to having to tell parents why.
What are the signs of someone who are struggling with thoughts of suicide?
Often you see these following signs:
- Not caring about their future: “It won’t matter soon anyway.”
- Putting themselves down – and think they deserve it: “I don’t deserve to live. I suck.”
- Expressing hopelessness: “Things will never get better for me.”
- Saying goodbye to important people: “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. I’ll miss you.”
- Having a specific plan for suicide: “I’ve thought about how I’d do it.”
- Talking about feeling suicidal: “Life is so hard. Lately I’ve felt like ending it all.”
As ally’s, parents and friends, what can we do if someone speaks their truth to us? Support them the best way that we can. The Trevor Project’s research consistently finds that LGBTQ young people report lower rates of attempting suicide when they have access to LGBTQ-affirming spaces. Having at least one accepting adult can reduce the risk of a suicide attempt among LGBTQ young people by 40 percent.
What does it look like to support and create a safe affirming space? It’s allowing them to choose how they want to live without pressure to fit in the norm. It means validating them by utilizing their appropriate pronouns, chosen name and being willing to learn. The easiest thing you can do is talk to them. Let them know you are willing to and want to learn how to support them the best way that you can. It also means standing up for them in spaces where they can’t. Whether it's with schools, sports, or even family members.
As always be aware of your own thoughts and feelings, it's normal to struggle with the changes that your child is going through. Often because we don't fully understand what is happening, have preconceived notions about the LGBTQ community and just plain worry over your child’s future. It might not hurt to have your own support by receiving therapy for yourself as well.
Here are some more resources to learn, educate and obtain support for yourself and your youth:
The Trevor Project
Family acceptance Project
Human Rights Campaign
GLYS of Western New York
PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara Area