- Anger may tempt you to avoid the problem by seeking comfort in unrelated and potentially
unhealthy behaviors, such as bingeing on junk foods, drinking too much, smoking, using
illegal drugs, or becoming a "couch potato".
- Pent-up anger can also contribute to physical problems, such as headaches, ulcers, bowel
problems, respiratory ills, skin flare-ups, lowered immunity to colds and other viruses, a
constant feeling of tiredness and exhaustion, and heart attacks.
So How Do You Deal with Anger?
Anger is a natural emotion, a human response to threats to your safety,
well-being, and happiness. Anger can even be useful if expressed effectively and
creatively. Here are some tips for handling anger:
- Recognise your anger. Don't try to cover it up or pretend it isn't there. Try to
identify what it is you are angry about. The actual cause of your anger may not always be
obvious or the most recent thing that happened to you. It may have happened yesterday or
last week. Sometimes fatigue and lack of relaxation can make you tense and irritable. Or
you may be genuinely angry at a person or about a situation. Try to focus precisely on
what makes you feel angry, not on a general or pervasive situation.
- Once you have identified the real cause of your anger, think about how to express it
before you take action. Is there a way to handle the situation more effectively than
blowing up? Can you communicate your feelings without blaming anybody or focusing on a
- Act constructively. Now that you've thought about it, decide if you can let the
anger go. Be honest, but be loving and respectful to yourself and others. Perhaps you can
channel your anger into "neutral territory", such as a 10 minute walk or
excercise, some relaxation excercises or laughing at a joke.
- If necessary, talk directly and assertively with the person who may be causing your
anger and frustration, but without blaming or shaming the person. Talk it over with
friends, family, and co-workers.
- If you can't confront the source of your anger, vent it by letting yourself cry,
punching on a pillow until you're exhausted, screaming at a mirror, or excercising. Don't
use your car as a way to vent anger. When your emotions are raw, driving can be dangerous
to yourself and to others.
- Alcohol and other drugs may mask the feelings or anger, but they won't make them go
away. And these substances have their own dangers.
Suppressing anger or other emotions can take a toll on
our mental and physical health. By learning to recognize what makes us angry, and by
learning appropriate ways to express our anger, we can protect ourselves from the harmful
effects of pent-up anger.
© 1993 Parlay International