You’ve heard them, the euphemisms that just don’t seem to want to go away. They’re everywhere: in casual conversations, news reports and work places. Some are used so often they are trite, and some are just silly.
Why Do We Even Use Euphemisms?
Euphemisms are phrases that allow us to soften our message. The result is thought to be less harsh or offensive. This happens, for example, when someone dies and we say they “passed away”. Sometimes we want to catch someone’s attention and come up with a unique phrasing, such as “low hanging fruit”. Sometimes we like to think we are being clever.
They Quickly Become Trite
There is a time and a place for euphemisms. When you string too many together, it ends up sounding silly and obscures your message. When you use one over and over, it becomes a crutch and loses effectiveness. Using words that your audience doesn’t recognize confuses them. (Did the first people told they were “right-sized” know they just lost their jobs?) If the euphemism “goes viral”, it quickly becomes trite. Any euphemism used too often quickly becomes trite.
Dr. Travis Bradberry, co-author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0, published a list of euphemisms he would like to see eliminated. He argues that relying on euphemisms tends to take your attention off the effects of your language, and a lack of social awareness (a key to emotional intelligence) does not cast you in a favorable light. Some of the phrases on his list have been around quite a long time and I expect would be hard to eliminate. Others are so trite they would be easy.
When Do You Use Euphemisms?
The aim of communication is to impart information. Your goal is always to strive for clarity. This means you want to use the words that best describe your intent and will be understood by your audience. When your words are harsh, the use of something a little softer can make your message more palatable. Keep your focus on the clarity of your message. Observe how people respond to your words. Pay attention to verbal and non-verbal reactions. When you find you have to define your intended meaning, eliminate the euphemism.
What Does This Have To Do With Respect?
Respect your audience enough to speak to them. When they must guess at your meaning, they may derive a different message. They also might feel stupid for not knowing what the phrase means.
Respect yourself enough to choose words that best convey your message and reflect well on you.