While Ms. Weiss's message was geared towards parents of children with learning disabilities and/or ADHD, she leveled the playing field with this golden nugget of advice for all parents. "If you treat the ADHD child as if he does not have ADHD, it can be a disaster. If you treat the child who does not have ADHD as if he had ADHD, it can be nothing but beneficial."
With that said, she went on to emphasize the obvious, but perhaps not the easiest points for parents to absorb or accept
- behavior in a child starts with you (the parent)
- focus on the here and now, realizing that progress is an incremental process
- if your child truly does have a disability, keep a disability perspective, recognizing that the behavior is often part of the disability
- be proactive: teach to a behavior before you need it
- provide increased structure and predictability
Whether we are parents or teachers of children with or without learning disabilities, we've probably all obstructed a child's transformation at one time or another by taking on the child's responsibility, setting unrealistic expectations, being inconsistent, or relying on punishment or too many rules. These pitfalls lead to power struggles, and power struggles are no-win situations.
As a teacher and a parent, I know that success at home usually leads to success at school and a healthy and happy child. I strongly recommend this book to any parent or teacher who is experiencing more chaos than calm in his or her current setting.