He returned from office that evening earlier than the usual time. As he entered the house, he realized that the atmosphere was very tense. Returning from a hard day's work to a tension filled home is something nobody wants. But life has its own twists and turns and does not always go on as one wishes. The young girl was sitting in a corner of the hall with swollen red eyes and tears rolling down her cheeks. Her mother, having returned from a daylong work at office half an hour ago, was cooking supper in the kitchen.
He sat on his usual chair by the window and looked at his daughter. Before he could choose the words to ask her about the reason for her crying, voice from the kitchen said, "Tell your father about your achievement. He will be very happy". Ah! what a wonderful way of communication, he thought. When the daughter or son does something good or achieves some distinction, she or he is my daughter or son. When she or he defaults or suffers a setback, she or he is your daughter or son! There is no discrimination; both father and mother use this logic at home as and when the opportunity throws up. This time it was the mother's turn. Another wonderful expression used in combination with this during such situations is to blame the other parent for pampering the child. The one starting the argument with this logic and has a bigger voice usually wins the argument. More often because the parent with a weaker voice does not continue the fight and the game ends in a walkover.
The daughter did not speak; her crying intensified. "There is no use in crying. Tell him and get scolded. You have to face it", admonished her mother. Daughter did not speak even then. He knew he had a big problem on hand. He beckoned the daughter to come and sit in the chair by his side. She hesitatingly and slowly moved to that chair. She knew by her own experience that whenever one of the parents attacked her, the other parent gave some support. "Why are you crying? What happened?", he asked in a kindly voice. "I failed in my examination. I could not get minimum marks required for a pass in Mathematics", she barely finished her reply and started crying even louder.
She was always a good student at school, but weak in Mathematics. As we all know, this happens to many students and Mathematics has killed more students and their careers than Malaria or Typhoid. There could be something seriously wrong in the way the subject is taught. Some teachers may not have the necessary skills in teaching the subject. Absorption and retention capacity also differs from student to student. Once a child develops an aversion to a teacher or a subject, the trouble can only escalate. The biggest challenge before any teacher is two fold. The first one is to make himself or herself acceptable to the student as a person. The second one is to teach the subject in such a way that the child or student starts liking the subject. There was some discussion at home two years ago about the subjects this girl was to choose at Pre-University level. Father had suggested a choice of Arts subjects and avoiding Mathematics. Other well-wishers had insisted on Mathematics as it would ensure (?) a bright future in the competitive world. Well-wishers had won the battle and she chose Mathematics. Trigonometry and Calculus intensified the trouble Arithmetic and Geometry had sown earlier. Now the result was out. "Fear of failure" that haunted her for two years had indeed crystallized now and staring at her, threatening her future. Failure in the examination was bad enough; the music to face for having chosen the subject despite earlier warning was the worse part. Wasting another year for passing the paper and taking up some other course thereafter was the later challenge. She braced herself for the onslaught about to be unleashed. She expected a "Jugalbandi" with father and mother scolding her in turns. She also feared outbreak of a fight among her parents as to who was responsible for her failure. Who among the three, daughter or father or mother, is to be blamed the most?
"Congratulations!" said the father in a cheerful voice. She was flabbergasted at this remark. "Has he gone mad? Why is he congratulating me for failing in the examination? Did my failure upset him so much that he has lost his sense of proportion?", she probably wondered. "Why are you congratulating her?" asked the mother, coming out of the kitchen. "She has upheld the family tradition!" exclaimed the father. "What does that mean?" asked the daughter, with a smile on her face for the first time since she saw her result that morning. "Your father had failed in Mathematics. Your grandfather too had failed in Mathematics. His father too had failed in that subject. Now you have made the fourth generation in that exalted tradition. Should you not be congratulated for carrying forward this great legacy?", he asked. Tension had eased. Atmosphere was now more relaxed. Supper was served in a pleasant environment.
Clearing the Mathematics paper was a per-requisite for finding an alternate course at the graduate course level. A close relative helped her find a tutor to teach her Mathematics for three months. This teacher was an expert in the subject as well as in teaching methods. Supported by this arrangement, the girl appeared in the supplementary examination and passed Mathematics paper. Six months were still to go for resuming college studies during the next academic year. She utilized this time for acquiring alternate skills. Shifting to arts and literature helped her in graduate school and she was now a class topper. She forgot Mathematics and surged ahead in her chosen field, leaving her friends with higher marks in Mathematics far behind. She had a lingering doubt about the family tradition of failing in Mathematics. Several years later she mustered courage to ask her father about it. He laughed and told her that her grandfather and great grandfather were both very good at Mathematics and were considered as the best teachers in the subject in their times! He further told her that academic studies were indeed important, but that is not all in life. In case of difficulty in studies in any subject, alternate routes should be explored.
One of the famous quotes of Will Rogers, American actor and humorist and known as Oklahoma's favorite son, is that he made fun of every known human being but he never found a dull person or a person whom he did not like. He felt that every person he met was interesting in one way or the other! The creator has bestowed every human being with some great qualities. Some never know about those qualities they possess and walk into their graves with them. Some do find them early in their lives and are smart enough to en-cash them. Some others are lucky to find a mentor who help them find those hidden qualities and shine. "Try, try, try again" is one approach. Finding alternate routes is another approach. Alternate routes are always available. Only issue is we have to find them. And find them before it is too late.