We all want our children to feel proud and capable, so in the service of supporting self esteem, we praise. In fact, we over praise. Parents tell their kids they are so smart. Schools give out smarts awards. Teams give trophies to everyone. And now, researchers say we are guilty of thwarting our children's ability to effort by using unbridled praise. Effort, grit, perseverance, whatever term you want to use, is more important than smarts in determining success.
Read how Carol Dweck and her colleagues demonstrated the limiting power of praise.
The central theme is that we need to help our children achieve a growth mindset, to adopt the idea that they can grow and learn and achieve through effort. Intelligence is not a fixed trait that leads to ultimate success. It is just the beginning. All greatness comes through hard work.
Mindset, by Carol Dweck, lays the framework . Check it out: