It’s not just normal to push yourself to the maximum; it’s essential. We are human beings, not machines. It takes time to develop listening and cooperation skills.
Children should be able to make their own choices. It is also necessary for the development of this talent that children (and even teenagers) take risks and experiment with new ideas, and see what happens.
They must also take responsibility for making some of their own judgments. Recognizing this as a crucial developmental skill can help parents better comprehend what’s going on, even if it’s difficult at times. In this way, parents can learn how to better deal with these kinds of circumstances and teach their children new abilities.
Everyone is unique in their own way.
A hero who stands up for what they believe in defends their freedom and pursues their dreams is a hero to us all. In contrast, no one ever asks their parents what it was like to raise them as a child. There are some children that are more interested in experimenting with new behaviors than others are.
To see what will happen next, you may witness your youngster actively repeating the action they’ve just been instructed to cease. Despite your repeated pleas, they continue to do exactly what you requested them not to do in the first place. A game may possibly be a possibility for them.
Treating this as if an adult had purposefully chosen to ignore you is a mistake. Rather than thinking of yourself as a parent, think of yourself as a mentor, helping your child find out what comes next.
What have they already learned?
Ask yourself, now that you’re aware that you’re in the middle of a behavior experiment: What has happened when the child behaved this way in the past? No, I didn’t hear anything. A reprimand? When you hadn’t been paying attention to them before, did you gaze at them and converse with them?
Someone offered a treat as a distraction or bribe, or did they capture a video to post on social media? Even if a toy or food item was not given to your child, parents may unintentionally encourage their children by lavishing them with attention when they disobey their commands.
Positive reinforcement isn’t required for this kind of focus. Reasoning, talking, disputing, nagging, or repeatedly repeating instructions are all examples of this.
The erroneous lesson might be learned from mixed communications.
When a situation arises, your child may not know how to react if you don’t consistently act in the same manner. That is to say, their brain has been rewarded in an unforeseen way, even if it is with negative attention. To learn a new skill or action, it’s important to have an “unpredictable reward,” which is well-established as a concept of learning.
In this situation, though, that means it’s an excellent method for teaching and promoting bad behavior. If parents let a problem slip one day and then expect their child to follow directions the next, the child will be less inclined to follow instructions.
“Do they even know what I’m saying?”
It is possible that you, as a parent, have muttered something along the lines of: “Why can’t you just do as you are told?!” If you want, you might say, “That’s the fifth time I’ve requested it!”
Although this has happened before, it is unlikely to have any effect. Everyone will likely become increasingly irate as a result. In this way, parents may be taught to yell, and children can be taught to only respond to yelling. In the end, it’s detrimental to everyone’s health. Instead, if it’s happening frequently, it’s a good idea to stand back and consider what might be causing it.
Listening vs. Hearing
For a small percentage of children, spoken instructions are difficult to follow since their brains aren’t able to digest the information correctly. Even if your child’s hearing is perfect (although you should have it checked if you suspect there is a problem, especially if your child has had difficulties with ear infections), this can happen.
A mental health professional can keep an eye on your interactions with your child as a last option. Additionally, Triple P includes a number of resources and programs that can aid in the treatment of Attention Deficit Disorder (which can occur with or without hyperactivity).
Be honest with yourself.
Limits and clear guidelines are essential for children’s safety and their ability to get along with others. On the other hand, expecting youngsters to always do as their parents tell them is a bit unreasonable. As long as the youngster follows fewer than half of the directions provided to them, it’s not a big deal. Instead of making things worse by chance, getting help and support to figure out efficient ways to cope with the situation early on is a terrific idea.
Cooperative and well-adjusted children are more likely when parents have realistic expectations and fair limitations, as well as suitable consequences that aren’t harsh or punishing but instead are geared to promote self-regulation. Children who are raised in a calm and consistent manner will develop good manners and the ability to get along with others, all while learning to think for themselves.
Remember, it takes time to develop listening and cooperation skills for our kids. That’s why it’s very important for us parents to be patient with them.
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