Student success doesn't come easy. Our oldest daughter graduates from college soon, and she's been on the dean's list every semester. She was recently nominated for a Chancellor's award, and she will be the rare psychology undergrad to have her work published alongside high-level Harvard researchers. She has worked very hard.
I am, of course, happy to take some of the credit for her success.
You see, her dad and I are the "mean parents" — the ones who allow only one after-school activity, the ones who don't believe summer is designed for video games and vegging out, the ones who always required a curfew and never allow anything else before homework is completed. Our daughter resented our approach at times, but she often talks now about how much those early habits have helped her succeed in college when many of her peers have struggled.
Her younger siblings aren't thrilled about her glowing reports of success, since it only reaffirms our approach with them.
Here are our top five tips for nurturing your kids into strong academic success:
1. Recognize individuality. Each of your children have unique talents and strengths. Don't compare them against each other. Success can mean different things, so measure your child against his or her own special circumstances and needs.
2. Reward effort, not results. Instead of worrying about the grade on the report card, dig deeper. Is your child attending class every day? Does he or she have a good attitude, get the work done, and diligently apply himself or herself to the material? Reward effort and they'll keep trying.
3. Be the teacher's partner. Expect your children to be respectful and lead by example. Support the teacher's efforts, and communicate regularly about your child.
4. Encourage reading and writing. You can't do math if you can't read story problems. You can't do science if you can't follow the lab directions. You can't do social studies if you can't read the materials. Reading and writing are the most critical skills you can foster in young kids. Make them read every day, and read out loud with them. In the summer, we require our kids (at every age) to pick two classic books to read and write reports (remember, we're the "mean parents"). They only had to spend an hour per day reading and writing, but it keeps them sharp for the next school year.
5. Advocate for your kids. All kids have special needs, whether it's that extra challenge to keep them from being bored or accommodations for an area of weakness. Teachers can't do it all; you need to play an active role in student success by making sure that you provide adequate study time each day along with an environment conducive to learning.
Are you or your mom and dad the "mean parents"? Share your stories below.
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