“I also don’t believe in drugs… I don’t want it near schools- I don’t want it sold to children. That’s an infamia. In my city, we would keep the traffic in the dark people- the coloreds. They’re animals anyway, so let them lose their souls.”
-Giuseppe “Joe Z” Zaluchi, The Godfather (1972)
“Captain Hanks, I have spent most of my life in the navy trying only to succeed. However, my quest has come as a great personal loss to those who love me. They too have made sacrifices. They too have endured great pains to support me. If I walk these twelve steps today, reinstate me to active duty. Give me my career back, let me finish it and go home in peace.”
-US Navy Master Chief Carl Brashear, Men Of Honor (2000)
My Dear Readers,
As we celebrate Father’s Day, I am struck by the the racist and stereotyped depictions of African-American people in some movies and yet encouraged by the efforts of others to combat those depictions with more accurate and representative images in other movies.
In one film, The Godfather, none of the major characters are black, but during a pivotal scene, they are spoken of as “animals” and “people who have no souls,” and thus, deserved to be sold into the heroin drug trade.
In contrast, the movie Men of Honor tells the true story of US Navy Master Diver Carl Brashear, a strong black man who, despite overwhelming odds, stood up to racism within the armed forces and retires from military service with honor. For his performance, Cuba Gooding Jr. received the NAACP Image Award for Outstanding Actor in a Motion Picture.
We have many images of strong black fathers holding their own despite the overwhelming odds, struggling, and standing against racism, discrimination, and oppression. Such fathers include notables such as Nobel Peace Prize winners Barack Obama (2009), Martin Luther King Jr. (1964) and Ralph Bunche (1950).
We also live with the images of fathers who are unknown to us. As they are unknown so are their sacrifices and contributions. Men such as the black soldiers who served in segregated labor battalions in France during World War I, who not only suffered psychological trauma from the work of locating and burying the war dead, but were vilified by White soldiers for that work as well. The segregated all Black 761st Tank Battalion, which fought during World War II as an independent unit because no white American units wanted to be associated with them, but still fought gallantly, in the process capturing or destroying 331 machine gun nests, 58 cement pillboxes, and 461 armored vehicles.
Despite their courage and their achievements, both Generals Patton and Eisenhower turned down requests for official recognition. To add insult to injury, General Patton once remarked:
“The 761st gave a very good first impression, but I have no faith in the inherent fighting ability of the [black] race.”
There are countless examples of these known and unknown stories of these black fathers. My father was one of them. Theodore T. Kane served his country in military service that included two tours in Vietnam, and after retiring from the military, he served another 20 years as a federal law enforcement officer. My father was all about his image, appearing professional, “being all you can be,” and proving himself to be equal to his white colleagues. When he died, none of his previous or current law enforcement supervisory/managerial staff sent a note of condolences to the family or attended his funeral service.
W.E.B. DuBois, a black sociologist and historian who lived from 1868 to 1963 once reflected that for a black man living in America:
“It’s a peculiar sensation. This double consciousness, this sense of always looking at one’s self through the eyes of others, and measuring one’s soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity.”
History has shown that for hundreds of years, African-Americans, particularly men, have been doing the “right thing for the wrong reasons.” It is human nature to be want to be validated by others, but the psychological error and therefore repeated failure to attain that validation comes from “looking at one’s self through the eyes of others.” We continue to measure ourselves by a standard that is both strengthened and perpetuated by our very failure to attain it.
In the face of all of this, I believe that black fathers should not just simply live their lives, but to BE life for their families. Breathe love and life into your spouses and children. Stop focusing on what others think about you. Stop focusing on the imagery and be more concerned about substance. Be the best father you can be. Along with professional or work-related goals, seek the life you want and be the father you want to be with and for your children.
Racism and stereotypes are never going to go away. Both are about fear, and such fear lies so deep within the individual’s soul that it cannot be forced away. Only the individual holding such feelings can let it go.
Our choices are simple…we can advocate for self, seek balance in our internalized world and calmness in our external environment, and measure our own souls by the love and peace and joy we find in the worlds we build for our families and our communities.
My children are my blessings. I look forward to walking my daughter down the aisle of matrimony and holding my first grandchild. Again…don’t simply live life…be life.
Until we speak again… The Visible Man
For additional information regarding Dr. Kane, please visit http:// www.lovingmemore.com