To help us survive, our bodies and minds are set up to respond a certain way to situations that we think are threatening. We react physically to such situations first, and we think later. This response was very useful in the lives of prehistoric men and women when they roamed the planet and faced physical dangers constantly. When a wild animal attacked, for instance, a cave dweller fled or drew his or her weapon without stopping first to think about the danger he was in.
In the modern world, we find ourselves in very few situations that threaten our lives. But our bodies still react to things in the same instant, physical way. When troubling situations occur, our feelings come first before our thinking takes over. When someone does something we don’t like, or that upsets us, our first reaction is to act on our feelings, which might include yelling or hitting. A person can get pretty worked up physically, which doesn’t allow him or her to listen to the thinking messages that are also going on inside.
When an adult makes you take a time out, it takes you away from the upsetting situation. Your body and feelings can settle down then, and you can start to think. It is normal and natural to react strongly to things that put your body on alert, but as you get older, you will begin to recognize that most situations don’t require a caveman response. You will be able to control your feelings better and use thinking to guide your actions.