Just imagine how hard it must have been for Edmund sometimes, in Narnia. Those golden years of hope and dreams that he built with his brother and sisters. How he must’ve sometimes looked around and thought, what did I do to deserve this? And just imagine how sometimes some of the creatures of Narnia must’ve looked at him with distrust in their eyes and whispered ‘he was a traitor.’ And when Lucy and Susan and Peter get angry because they think it just isn’t fair, Edmund says that it’s alright.
And he’s just trying to remember he’s forgiven. But sometimes it’s so hard. But rather than letting it make him bitter, he lets it light him up. He lets the memory of his treachery make him compassionate. He lets the pain of it make him empathetic. He lets the lessons he learned make him wise and kind. He lets himself become merciful. And they call him King Edmund the Just.
Just imagine how hard it must have been for Peter in Narnia. He’s the oldest; he’s supposed to be High King and he has to know what to do. He’s just trying so hard, but he’s a kid, and how is he supposed to be a king? How is he supposed to take care of Lucy and help Edmund? How’s he supposed to guide Susan? And when he makes a bad decision and people get hurt, he feels responsible and lost.
And he’s just trying to remember that Aslan is always with him. Always there. But instead of listening to those doubts, he listens to his advisers. He learns. He fights. He grows. He becomes King Peter the Magnificent. And he makes the Golden Age his legacy.
Just imagine how hard it must have been for Susan in Narnia. She’s the logical one, the unimaginative one. She’s supposed to take care of Edmund and Lucy. She’s seeing things that adults tell her are impossible and silly. Imagine how she must’ve fought the horrible words ‘oh, don’t be silly’ almost all the time. She’s trying so hard to believe but her heart keeps wanting to doubt.
And she’s just trying to remember that nothing is impossible. The golden years start to wash it all out, and she learns to be compassionate and generous, and they call her Queen Susan the Gentle.
Now imagine how hard it must’ve been for Lucy in Narnia. Imagine how she must’ve fought for respect and for admiration, how she must’ve worked so hard. She’s in her element, she’s in a world of pure imagination, she should be more put together than this! She shouldn’t need to ask for help! She should be able to help her brothers to fight and understand the way they feel after battle. She’s been in battles!
And she’s just trying to remember that it’s not wrong to ask for help. So she learns. She becomes the one who makes treaties, who asks for assistance. She becomes the beloved brave lion heart that all Narnia can turn to in times of trouble. She laughs and dances and sings and brings joy to her siblings when they’re all alone. She fights in the battles and grows up. They call her Queen Lucy the Valiant.
Now imagine how they must’ve felt, walking back through that Wardrobe. Peter has been listened to. He’s been in control, and he’s taken care of his siblings for fifteen years. And all the sudden no one listens, no one cares. He’s in this clumsy, unfamiliar body, this body of a child, not the body of a warrior. Everyone thinks it’s just because of his age. But he’s lived for so much longer than this! He knows things, and why can’t they listen? Why do they do such unjust things in war, don’t they know that there are repercussions? Haven’t they learned?
Susan has learned to accept the impossible, to be gentle. She’s helped mothers with babies, she’s listened to the animals talk, and all the sudden, again, there it is, whenever she says something about Narnia; ‘Oh don’t be silly!’ And she’s been a beautiful queen, beloved. She’s been admired by men and princes. She’s had poems written about her. And she earned those things, can’t they see, she fought to be good, she tried just as hard as anyone else did! She listened to Aslan, she did the right thing, she had a life built and it’s gone. She’s learned to roar like a lion and suddenly she’s just a very confused teenage girl remembering dreams of glory which the adults around her tell her never happened at all.
Now imagine Lucy. Lucy has nightmares. She had them before, but they went away because it had been years and now they’re back, nightmares that Edmund never woke up after the witch stabbed him. Nightmares about Susan and Edmund and Peter and battle. And she fought to be brave and all the sudden she’s a little girl running from bombs again! And she saw Aslan and people are killing. People are killing and the gold stars just remind her of a golden mane. Lucy is fighting panic and terror which she overcame so many years ago and she feels like a coward. She’s earned respect and now everyone just treats her like a child, but she’s not, understand, she’s not a child. She is a physician. She knows what to do for wounds, let alone scrapes. She’s expected to be a sweet, adorable, easily pleased little girl and she saw wars.
Now think of Edmund. He’s the one who learned to be patient. But he’s come back and he sees bullies and they remind him of how he was, of his treachery, and he feels sick. They expect him to join back in, to tease and torture Lucy, Lucy who stood by him. They expect him to mock Susan who never got tired of telling him it was alright. They expect him to mock Peter who didn’t have to accept him, and did. He’s stuffed back into that mess, but he isn’t going to do this. No. He was in battles and his siblings stood by him and these bullies are messing with kids. He just sees the way he was and he is disgusted. So he isn’t let off the hook. He’s still a traitor. But he’s never going to betray Narnia or Aslan again.
Now imagine the way they do things for each other. Imagine Lucy, even when she’s upset, staying calm and making those same jokes to make Peter laugh. Imagine Susan, supporting and loving her siblings all the same. Imagine Peter and Susan sympathizing with each other after they are locked out of Narnia. Imagine Edmund, exhausted, but still valiantly coming to fight off Lucy’s nightmares and just falling asleep because he’s so bloody tired, and it helps even then because Edmund isn’t dead, he’s there. So Edmund and Lucy get closer and their mother has no idea how it happened. Peter isn’t a kid anymore and their father doesn’t know how Peter learned all of this. Susan is a woman and their parents are very confused.
But Susan is getting farther away and Peter and Edmund feel it, and Lucy is starting to hear ‘Don’t be silly’ again. It makes her chest ache, because doesn’t Susan remember? Doesn’t she understand?
It’s a breath of fresh air for Lucy and Edmund, going to Narnia, not that they understand at first why Eustace is there. They’re back in their element, back where they belong, and it feels amazing. They’re on the sea. They’re fighting battles. But Lucy’s learning that she’s got a few more flaws than last time, that she’s dangerously close, that she’s failed Aslan. Edmund’s telling Eustace stories and expecting Eustace to hate him for his actions, and instead it comforts Eustace, and that makes a lot of things better.
But it reminds them, and when they tell Peter he’s very happy for them and they go to the professor and reminisce the good old times and that’s when they meet Polly Plumber. But Susan doesn’t come. That’s when Lucy decides being pretty doesn’t matter. Being a Narnian forever matters. Or maybe she always knew it. But it makes her better than ever and Edmund and Peter see it and they’re so happy for her.
And they learn about Jill going to Narnia and part of each of them rejoices and yet part longs for Narnia more than anything.
But they grow and let go and they find Aslan in their own world, in their own way, even though they can’t see him. Their parents have three beautiful grown up children and one girl. But the three of them never get tired of letting Susan in. She was there for them and they should try to help her.
In the end, it’s sad. But the three of them are still royalty. They don’t act like the royalty so often depicted, but like true royalty, earning true loyalty from their friends.
Then it’s all over in a minute and they’re with Aslan again, with him again, forever this time and there’s nothing left in their way.
And maybe that’s what it takes to bring Susan back. I don’t know. You’d have to be a Narnian to tell me that.
You can probably tell that Edmund is like my favorite. I love him. I identify with his struggles a lot. He becomes such a great person, though.
C.S. Lewis had the great and unusual gift of teaching without preaching. I love all his books. These are just a few of the things I think would’ve happened at some point or other in the Narnia books.
Part of the thing about Edmund coming to help Lucy feel better in the aftermath of nightmares comes with a cute and hilarious idea that the first time Lucy wakes up screaming (which would be in Narnia) Edmund and Peter come into her room armed with bedhead and candlesticks thinking “Oh my gosh, Lucy’s in trouble!” And Peter trips on the rug and sprawls headlong on the floor and suddenly Lucy’s laughing so hard she’s crying, because her brothers are hilarious and great. And it ends in a midnight party of hot chocolate and toast and stuff and they keep shushing each other, because “Don’t wake up Susan, she’s an absolute bear at one in the morning!” (I might just write that as a short story.)
I just love the Narnia books so much.
Thank you all for bearing with my utter insanity, and God bless, and don’t get sick! (I’m sick, that’s part of why this is so incoherent. It always is when I’m sick.)