When you introduce cats to each to each other, it really is like opening a box of chocolates: you never know what you’re gonna get.
After a lot of hissing, posturing, chasing, and playing, it took Shorty and Kodi a miraculous 1 week to get along. I get asked that question a lot, right up there with Why Did You Name Her Shorty, and Is Your Hallway Haunted? They still had their moments of establishing boundaries and territories, but it wasn’t a rare sight to see them snuggling atop the cat tree.
Obviously bringing a new cat into a home already under cat-rule is a common anxiety we all share in the adoption process. But that very anxiety could be our undoing since cats — well, animals in general, but cats in particular — are sensitive to our moods and have demonstrated remarkable abilities science hasn’t even explained yet. Thus, since some cats may be able to smell cancer and even sense when we’re going to die, it isn’t a stretch to think they know when we’re feeling very anxious.
These tips won’t work for every situation, but remaining calm and patient is an important first step. Monitoring their initial meetings is also necessary as thrusting them together with a just-let-em-work-it-out mentality could be such a stressful and even traumatic experience for them that they may never get along and even develop behavioural issues (aggression, not using the litter box, social withdrawal). Remember that in the wild, cats have lots of space, escape routes, hiding places, secret vantage points both high and low, and lots of time to assert their presence, establish their territory, and develop relationships. We don’t have to mimic the wilderness exactly, but considering and respecting the conditions from whence they came will go a long way to creating a peaceful and fulfilling life for your cats.
Here are the 12 steps listed in our video, How to Introduce 2 Cats to Each Other.
1. Let them say hello through a closed door. Allowing both cats to smell each other while remaining in a safe place unthreatened removes a great deal of fear. Domesticated cats are getting better at learning from rewards, but they may still retain the fear-based learning system of their wild brethren, so it is vital to avoid traumatic, fearful events that could potentially scar this and future relationships for life.
2. Open the door. If you feel they are beginning to adjust to each other’s presence, i.e., if the hissing and growling have reduced to an occasional grumble, slowly open the door. This may happen after a few minutes, a few hours or a few days. (Some people find it useful to allow them to play with each other’s toys or blankets to get used to the other’s scent.) Speak to them in a calming, praising voice, and be sure that you are actually feeling calm as well. Cut the meeting short if you sense the aggression may escalate beyond a little hissing and posturing; you want them to part ways without fighting so they learn the other is not a threat. You can conduct another brief meeting once they have calmed down.
3. Show your cat the new kitten is a friend. Your current cat may not know if this seeming intruder is friend or foe, so demonstrate petting and praising voices to the new family member. You’ll see in the video it doesn’t go a long way to easing Shorty’s anxiety, but at leasts it sends the initial message.
4. Let the new cat explore, but be prepared! Stay calm but follow the new cat around and be ready to intervene if something goes awry.
5. Make sure the little one has a place to hide if he gets scared. Places to hide and multiple paths and escape routes are necessary for the constantly calculating cat to feel safe and in control.
6. Be patient while the new cat adjusts to their new environment. They
may will get into trouble but exacting punishment on every move they make builds nervousness and tension, so save the big NO!s and spray bottles for the big problems.
7. Distract them with toys so they show each other they like to play. This lets them see that they’re on a common ground with common interests and perhaps not such a threat after all.
8. Supervise playtime while they get to know each other. Once you feel any aggression has subsided, let them play, wrestle, hiss and explore each other, but keep a watchful eye with vocal reminders to be “gentle” to let them know you’re still around.
9. Let the little one get the upper hand. This obviously depends on your cats, but the new occupant needs a little confidence in their new realm. Let them explore the bounds of their new relationship, reserving guidelines for the big blowouts.
10. But let him be reminded who’s the boss. You have a cat who has been the master of the house and now you’re introducing another member of their species in their home who threatens to claim territory. Be sensitive to the anxiety your current resident cat could be feeling and still pay lots of attention to them to ensure they feel safe. You can’t let one always be the dominant player, so encourage and discourage each of them equally while they assess their place in this new society.
11. Give lots of praise and love to each of them, especially as they get closer. This is important – any type of closeness without fighting is to be highly praised with your best kitting-cooing baby voice and treats. They need to know that’s the best thing they could do.
12. Relax, cross your fingers and hope for the best. Every situation is different, so you really have to allow your cats to determine how long you stay with each step. I know some people who haven’t been able to let their cats be in the same room for weeks at first, but end up being best friends. Be patient, be calm. Results will vary, to be sure, so leave your comments and questions below to help others or if you’re seeking guidance with your cats.