Depression and anxiety are prevalent in the black community…
It is a silent epidemic that affects almost everyone we know in subtle and obvious ways. Normally, when we see depictions of mental health or depression and anxiety in particular, we are not seen in those depictions. It is usually a white person, usually a white woman, looking sad and alone isolating herself from others. The majority of these depictions occur with an advertisement for medication.
Depression and anxiety turns up in a million other ways that we may not be aware of. For some depression may be:
Crying more than usual
Not sleeping well or sleeping to much
Lack of focus
Irritability or a “short fuse”
Using food to manage our sadness
Not enjoying your fun activities the way you used to
Excessive shopping to distract from loneliness and painful emotions
A decrease in work performance
These are only a few ways in shows up in our lives...
Anxiety may look like this:
Constant worrying that you can’t talk yourself out of
Sense of doom
Waking up with a feeling in your chest that you can’t explain
Upsetting stories playing in your head on repeat
Feeling drained from your own thinking
Using food to manage our anxiety
This is merely a few ways anxiety shows up in our lives…
Depression and anxiety if often overlooked in our community for a few reasons, shame and stigma being only one. Shame and stigma regarding mental health is a western construct. It is something that was given to us with the enslavement and colonization of our ancestors. The European colonizer has always had a fraught relationship with mental health and people in their society were often treated in a brutal and inhumane manner for that reason.
As that group colonized others and removed cultural healing practices that would have augmented prolonged sadness and other emotional disruptions if they occurred, to replace it we were given nothing. Only the idea that we should be ashamed of needing time heal and recover. And that if we needed to do this we were weak and non-productive. This was all internalized over many generations leading to a profound lack of self-care in the black community and being shamed for needing to give ourselves mental and emotional attention. This is seen is black folks being overly represented in poor health outcomes in every area of our society.
This is not accident. This is not only a lack of health education. This is ancestral trauma and intergenerational trauma leading to depression, anxiety and an overall lack of self-care and attunement with our own bodies and needs. Depression shows up in the black community in numerous ways that cannot all be spelled out here but it affects us deeply. In poor parental relationships, poor partner selection, poor child rearing practices, violence in our communities, drug and alcohol abuse, and sexual violence and trauma to name but a few.
Depression and anxiety is all around us and it is up to us to begin to heal our own minds and bodies so that we can be the generation that break this cycle in our homes and communities.
What is intergenerational trauma?
In its simplest form intergenerational trauma means trauma passed down through the generations. It is habits, beliefs and practices that you learned because of what your parents, grandparents or previous generations experienced before you. They developed certain habits and behaviors to cope with extremely stressful environments.
Though the environment may not be as visibly stressful as it was for previous generations, we still respond in these unconscious way to stress in our lives. Many times these behaviors are maladaptive (meaning they no longer work well for your life) and continue to be experienced by us though we are unsure how to stop.
What does intergenerational trauma look like in my life?
One of the ways I often see intergenerational trauma show up in my clients is this need to work and do more. They literally don’t know how stop and when they are introduced to the idea of needing a break for self-care and healing they immediately encounter feelings of failure or of being lazy and undeserving. They experience a deep internal struggle about why they need to care for themselves.
Being called lazy and undeserving...what does this remind you of?
It should remind you of white supremacy and colonization, all of which we have internalized as a people. We have been exploited for our labor to such a degree that we have internalized the idea that we can never stop working, and that if we desire self-care and healing, that we are lazy and undeserving of even the simplest of healing practices to repair our mind body and spirit. I imagine this is what our ancestors were told when they didn’t want to work for free anymore and wanted their natural rights as full human beings.
This is what intergenerational trauma can look like for many people…
A feeling that they don’t deserve to stop, rest and be well. That they are somehow weak and unfit for needing to take mental and physical breaks to heal their body and mind. These are all internalized concepts of white supremacy and colonization and aid in our own oppression. They are built into the very fabric of our lives and surround us like an invisible cloak. We receive it in all messaging, often on a subliminal level, about our value and worth. That we can’t possibly we worthy of rest and repair because we are inherently unworthy as a people.
Well this is an internalized white supremacist lie.
We are worthy of healing rest and repair. We not only do this for ourselves in this moment but we do it for future generations to break the cycle of trauma ,so they will never experience it in the first place. We do it for our ancestors, to finally give them the rest and repair they deserved then but couldn’t receive but can receive now through our healing.
What does emotional wellness look like if you are a black woman?
This can often be an overlooked topic and one that can often be elusive for those of us on this search. The need for emotional health and wellness can be often ridiculed and looked down upon in our community and even by our own family members. If the need is expressed it is often met with responses like:
“Why are you so sensitive?”
“You’ve got a good job don’t you?! Why aren’t you happier?”
“You’re not being ungrateful are you?”
All of these responses induce feelings of shame and guilt. All things that are designed to be barriers to our own healing and self-care. As black women, emotional wellness is a revolutionary act. It is an announcement to the world that we are going to move and operate from a space of self-care and a deep love for ourselves. This is not often reflected to us so we are pioneers.
Love for our self is not selfish. It is actually centuries overdue and something that our ancestors were systematically denied. By taking the opportunity to do this now it is done for ourselves AND them. To heal many of the ancestral wounds that lie within our bodies, nervous systems and below our conscious minds.
What does this look like?
It looks like honoring your feelings and not being talked out of them.
Understanding that it is not okay for someone to hurt your feelings whether they be family, significant other, coworkers, etc.
That living with chronic emotional pain and being told to “get over it” is no longer acceptable.
It is resting.
It is taking naps or giving yourself whatever you need without explanation to others or the need for their approval.
It is moving away from toxic people, places and situations that don’t respect your desire to heal.
This is just the beginning but it is a start to reclaiming our bodies and minds from an oppressive society and turning inward to finally access what is naturally ours. Peace. Wholeness. Tranquility.