When you go through a divorce, you must undergo various difficult conversations. One of the most difficult may be with your children. Depending on your children’s ages, they may not understand why you and your spouse need to separate. Likewise, some children may blame themselves. A part of a healthy conversation will help ease your children’s fears and help them understand that they did not cause the separation.
According to Psychology Today, you and your spouse need to work together to have a healthy conversation.
Have your conversation together
You and your former spouse should plan the conversation before you have it. Talk to one another about handling the conversation together. Children may appreciate talking with both of you. When you work together, it shows that the two of you put your differences aside for the health of your kids. Talking together indicates that you and your spouse’s roles do not change as parents.
Clear up any uncertainties
Your children may not know what happens next. They may fear the transition and next phase of their life. To help your children deal with the change, make sure they understand what happens after the split. Let them know what parts of their life will change and which will not. Changes may include where they live or how much time they spend with each parent. You need to reassure them about what they can rely on to stay the same. For example, they may still go to the same school, have the same friends, or have the same sports and other activities opportunities.
Allow your children to react according to their feelings. Anxiety, fear, anger and sadness are normal feelings. Do not expect all kids to react the same. Some may deal with it quietly, whereas others may show outward anger.