Common sense tells us that little children need to feel nurtured, and safe. What we are learning now, however, suggests that the actual development of the brain, particularly during the second year of life when the infant begins to explore his world, can be affected by the child’s emotional environment.
This is a time when certain brain functions are either established and used, or are largely lost. What happens during this time determines lifelong aspects of the child’s mindset, worldview, sense of self, impulse control, and ability to relate to others. All of this — at a time when a toddler is getting into things, and often experimenting with the word ‘no’.
Unfortunately, caregivers may become frustrated, or feel they must show anger and punish the child to ensure effective learning. A two-year-old does not understand parental frustration, and may not even equate parental anger with the fact that he was not co-operating.
At this age children need firm, but gentle guidance. Even as we are explaining why they cannot do or touch something, they must still feel our love and warmth.
To withdraw love and affection, as a form of punishment, will affect the child’s self-esteem, self-confidence and trust in the world. A toddler is not ‘bad’, and should never be made to feel he or she is.
Handle with care — inside that cute, sometimes stubborn little head — a brain is still forming and blueprints for the adult are being drawn.
This column was written and provided by Sherwood Park-based registered psychotherapist Gwen Randall-Young, who practices at Psychological Services Ltd at 439 Village Drive. For more info, go to www.gwen.ca.