fixie |’fikse| noun (pl. fixies) tiny mythological creatures that unbeknownst to humans live inside of machines, appliances and devices conscientiously maintaining and repairing them with the aid of their tool-filled pack-o-mats.
Where do Fixies come from?
In olden times master craftsmen put a little bit of their soul into everything they made. Those little pieces of their souls turned into tiny craftsmen called Fixies, who would then make the appliance their home and take care of it. As years passed, fewer things were being made by hand and fewer Fixies came into being this original way. Fortunately, Fixies fell in love with each other and had their own families, raising their children and teaching them to become master Fixie repairmen.
How can you identify a Fixie?
Fixies have a number of unique characteristics that make them perfectly suited for working inside of machines. With large powerful hands, they are around one centimeter tall when fully grown. Fixies are also incredibly fast and have tremendous strength. Fixies are also able to squeeze through the tiniest of cracks, enabling them to get inside and maneuver within devices. Fixies are have the unique ability to light up their hair so they can see inside these dark spaces. Fixies each have their own unique color. Their protective clothing consists of gloves and coveralls emblazoned with the Fixie hand symbol.
How come humans never see Fixies?
TThe Fixies do everything they can to hide from humans. They are afraid that if humans discovered them, they would hunt them down and put them in cages as pets. Or even worse humans might conduct scientific experiments on them. Luckily, Fixies have the ability to turn themselves into ordinary looking screws that humans never suspect are actually Fixies in hiding.
What do Fixies eat?
Fixies don’t eat food like humans. They get energy given from the appliances they care for. It’s a perfect symbiotic relationship – Fixies keep devices running and the devices supply the Fixies with the energy they need to live. Like humans, Fixies need a balanced diet to nourish the different parts of their system. For example, getting charged up in a car makes a Fixie faster. In a computer - smarter. And in a clock - more accurate. If a Fixie runs out of energy he turns into a screw and stays that way until he gets charged back up.
Where do Fixies learn to fix things?
In order to become master repairmen and get their own pack-o-mats, young Fixies attend Fixie Schools. Each school is rather small with no more than ten Fixie students studying under the direction of a Fixie master. Fixie School classrooms are constantly on the move. One day class could be held inside a refrigerator, the next day in a computer and the day after that in a vacuum cleaner. This is the best way for young Fixies to learn how each machine works and put their newly acquired knowledge to the test!
What is a pack-o-mat?
Fixies store their tools in backpacks called pack-o-mats. To retrieve a tool from their pack-o-mats, Fixies simply push the button on their chest and concentrate on the tool they need, whether it is a hammer, drill, saw, soldering iron or even a breathing apparatus for working under water or with toxic chemicals! Young Fixies get their own pack-o-mats by passing exams in Fixie School, but new tools are added to their pack-o-mats only after they learn how to use that new tool safely.
How do Fixies travel from place to place?
Fixies travel from place to place in a variety of ways. The simplest way, of course, is on foot, and Fixies are amazing fleet on their feet. Fixies have also been known to “hop a ride” on an animal or flying insect, or to hide somewhere on an unsuspecting human, or inside their car or one of their devices like a mobile phone. For traveling longer distances, Fixies prefer to fly through the air on their Fixieboards with the help of the GPS on their Fixietabs!
What does the hand symbol with three fingers held out mean?
When a job is done, and a Fixie is proud of her work she exclaims, “Tideesh!” and raises up her hand with the thumb and first two fingers sticking out. The three fingers stand for the three steps in solving a problem: First, find out what's broken. Second, understand why it broke. And third, repair what's broken so it works again. Diagnose, decide, and do. Tideesh!