The future of a bully isn’t looking too good if they continue their behavior. Bullies can be snarky, to mean and cruel and at times – criminal.
Bullying has a negative impact on the victim and on society.
Bullies are more likely to become anti-social adults, more likely to be involved in domestic violence and child abuse, more likely to commit crimes and more likely to have children who also are bullies.
Some bully just because, some because they’ve been bullied, some because they want to be powerful and popular, and most — because they have learned this behavior at home.
Bullying expert Dr. Malcolm Smith said “bullies must be “disciplined, not punished,” and bullies must admit that what they did was wrong. “That is the first part of re-educating a bully.”
Smith said “the most important, is for the bully to offer atonement for his or her action.”
When kids are bullied, the first thing they want is getting the bully arrested – or at the very least expelled from school.
Bullies will not learn their mistakes, nor will they care if they are expelled. An arrest may not even bother some if they already have a criminal past.
Changing a bully’s behavior is critical and as Dr. Smith suggests, parents and educators must be involved in this process.
Parents of bullies will usually take the stance of “Not my child.” If your child is accused of being a bully, sit down, take a deep breath and look back at the way you were treated as a child. Have you become your parents? Are you parenting your child in the same way your parents parented you?
For those parents who look back and don’t like the way their parents treated them, if you were bullies in school, if you’ve become your parents, it’s not too late to change your parenting skills. Maybe you think you turned out okay and maybe you have, but if your child is being accused of bullying, it’s not too late to turn things around.
Behavioral changes in children with your involvement is the only way your child will change.
Mobilize parents – be part of the change!