A five year study by Swaffham University, long recognised as the leading research institution in the country specialising in the study of children’s plastic figures, predicts that half of all Lego figures will suffer from ‘Legobesity’ by the year 2030.
Their conclusion, based on computer modelling and the most advanced forms of modern guesswork, means a generation of fat pirates and rotund construction workers, and a set of Stars Wars figures needing an Extra Large in Death Stars, Tie Fighters and Jedi Knight Robes.
‘Lego characters are merely a representation of the human form in plastic. It’s no surprise that they are adapting to reflect the fact that we are becoming huge waddling bags of undifferentiated saturated fat,’ says the report.
The problem was first noted in ‘Weebles’, which over the years began to wobble, fall down and not be able to get up again. owever, in subsequent years, it has emerged among other plastic figures in the Sylvanian community, the Action man range and Katie Price.
The research group will turn their attention next to premature hair-loss among gonks.