“Shy / reserved” or “spontaneous/ social” are common tags with which society often labels kids. Without doubt, most parents today would want their kids to be labeled as the latter. They’d like their kids to be the first ones with hands waving in the air to ask or answer questions, to sing lively loud songs and to participate in events. Kids, who are shy, are treated like; it is something shameful, and their parents often apologize for their shyness. But psychology elaborates that “shyness” in children is not bad at all! Of course the child could be shy in a healthy way, which will be elaborated later.
Whatever may be the case, if you have decided to get rid of the “shy person” in your child, you have decided to give your child more to life. Shyness often robs kids of opportunities, that, the world offers. Therefore it is important and convenient if you catch them young, as shyness often increases with age. The following pointers will be of great help in your endeavor to rid your child of shyness.
1. Get To Know Your Shy Child Better
Spend time in getting to know the nature of the shyness in your kid. This is a crucial step as this will guide you on to the next. Is he/she shy when it comes to mixing with new people? Participating in the classroom? Making phone calls? Participating in a recital or even just singing a song somewhere? Try to identify why they act shy. Understand that they act so due to certain situations or emotions they hold. Above all, respect the fact that all kids are unique. Some may have trouble bonding with others. Yet others have non- verbal learning disabilities or they may have a personality that suffers from high anxiety. Ask them what they feel about a particular activity and why they do not seem into it. Hug your child and hold him/her close. Just this small gesture will open most of them up and they’d tell you what is in their mind. It is important to be calm and pleasant with them. The harsher or the more impolite you are the more withdrawn your child will become. Try to find solutions to the problems which encourage them to be withdrawn.
2. Implement Solutions
If your kid is shy at school and not at home, it implies that the child is either not interested or is finding it uncomfortable in the school atmosphere. The first thing you can do in this case is to meet the teachers and ask for feedback/ solutions. Pay regular visits to them and also visit your child at school. It often boosts up a child’s esteem when their parents come to visit their kindergarten or elementary classes. If your child lacks interest in the classroom or work, then make arrangements to have a piece of the child’s interest in the classroom. For example, if your child likes shells, then talk to the teacher so that your child can do an informal talk on his/ her shell collection. Some shells could even be kept in the classroom.
3. Be A Role Model
Children first learn from their parents and try to emulate their behavior. That means they’d do things the same way you do! If you are a shy person, the chances of your kid being shy are pretty high! So, behave in ways you want your kids to pick up. If you don’t want your kid to be shy, then don’t be shy yourself! If you are indeed a shy person then what you can do is to make an effort. Tell your kids about the efforts made and teach them social gestures and manners. They will learn from it. The earlier you teach them, the better it is!
4. Help Your Child Identify Talents and Manage Emotions
Identify the activities your child loves to do. Encourage and appreciate those activities and provide platforms for your child to explore his/ her abilities. Every week, give the opportunity for him/ her to do something new. This way, they can identify new talents and can inculcate passions early in life. A child who has identified at least a few talents will have a lot more self esteem than one who hasn’t identified any. As a parent, ask your child regularly about school and what they feel. Give them their space and always ensure they are in safe custody.
A healthy level of shyness will include sufficient eye contact made by the child, a very peaceful mind and other traits like slow in mixing with people and not singing very loudly. If the child displays “shyness” without making eye contact at all, or if they always seem to be disturbed or violent in actions, then it is time for professional help. While shyness is not a bad thing, see to it that it does not rob your child or the windows life offers.
About The Author: Kate is a blogger by profession. She is fond of writing, reading and travelling. Recently she has done a research on symptoms of breast cancer. These days she is busy writing an article on Baby gear for her blog Parentingclan.