Dealing with back-to-school anxiety
Dr. Ed's KEEN learning column
School time will soon be upon us. While many children complain about returning, for some children there is often great anxiety. This can make August and September a very unhappy time in many families. Below are a few hints that I have found can make the transition back to school more enjoyable for children -- and parents. - Return to fall routines in an enjoyable way. School brings a more structured and intense routine than summer. A good way to ease into this is to have children look forward to the process. For example, an earlier bedtime can be accompanied by a favourite video or game beforehand. Early-morning rising can be made more enjoyable when children can look forward to special breakfast cereal, etc. that is only allowed in the transition back to school. - Involve them in the planning. This seems obvious, but I often observed that some parents forgot the power of having students make decisions about their back-to-school wardrobe, notebooks and snacks. Many schools post the names of students' teachers and classrooms just before opening. If it's possible, let your child plan the outing for the family to go together and get this information; this type of approach helps children understand that their school experience is important and gives them a sense of ownership and excitement about the new school year. - Talk up the good things about school. Some children may not like certain aspects of school, but there are very few children who dislike everything about school. You know what your child found fun and interesting in the previous school year, so talk about those things. This helps children remember how much they enjoyed being a classroom helper, playing on a school team, being in the play, entering science fair, going on trips, etc. - Review past fears and successes. If your child is very anxious about what the new school year will bring, talk about times that he or she was nervous about something that is now natural to them (i.e. learning how to swim). Talk about times when you were nervous about school and how it worked out well, making you become the person you are. These conversations help children put things into perspective and realize that what they are experiencing is natural and that they will be able to handle it. - Rehearse social re-entry. The most stressful part about returning to school often has nothing to do with things like math and science, but with the often delicate dance of reuniting with old friends and finding new ones. If you can find a friend from last year to accompany your child back in the first week that is ideal, but many children won't have this option or may be entering new social situations in a different school. - It can be very powerful to have children practise simple phrases like, "Hi, I'm Cam. Would you like to play with the new ball I've brought?" As well, let them rehearse smiling and walking confidently up to someone new. These rehearsals should be done five to 10 times with you or other siblings, but can be practised with a light comic touch (i.e. pretend you're an alien at school on your first day on planet Earth). That makes the process filled with fun and laughter. The neuroscience is clear, however, that rehearsing is a form of stress relief that programs the mind for success with any goal. The brain does not really know what's pretend and real many times (that's why people cry and scream at movies when, in reality, there's in nothing bad happening to them). You can leverage this. This can also work with extremely anxious children who may benefit from going into school the week before it starts to walk the halls, see their teacher or sit in their classroom. Most schools have all hands on deck in the week before school starts, so you can talk to the principal about it. While most children don't need this type of visit, for a few it can make the first days much easier for parent, child and teacher. Have a wonderful new school year.
Edmond J. Dixon Ph.D, is an educator with 30 years of experience as a teacher, principal, university researcher -- and parent. He is the creator of KEEN 5X, a series of learning strategies designed to helping every child succeed in school. Questions/ comments can be forwarded to him at firstname.lastname@example.org.