Should other people do what we want them to do? Why should they? Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.
Should past performance indicate how a person should act and feel in the future? Are we responsible for our own behavior?
Aikido gives us a chance to physically explore those ideas. Ukes are gonna uke. An uke is who they are on any given day. If I “expect” an uke to be a certain way I have stepped out of my center and into the mind. By paying close attention to my uke I can guide the technique and come to a resolution. There is no room for “should haves” or “could haves” in the now.
Uke will do their best at each particular moment as regular people in the world do their best with the circumstances of the day. Me expecting others to behave in a certain way is a futile as me expecting uke to be different.
By accepting what happens I can deal in each moment, gather information for future choices and move on.
Ukes can be stiff and sore, cranky and unwilling. They can fall too early and resist illogically. Each uke gives us another chance to meet ourselves. People can be mean, unreasonable and demanding…providing us again with the chance to meet ourselves and develop into strong, versatile humans with compassion for others even as we learn to defend ourselves.
We can cast off what we know and become who we are meant to be.