Many parents find that the same issues seem come up again and again at home and are often left feeling frustrated when conversations happen and nothing seems to change. A Positive Discipline programme strategy to help make more lasting changes at home is holding regular family meetings. These meetings can be an extremely effective way of empowering your children to learn positive problem-solving skills and finding solutions in a fun, cooperative manner.
Although many families have different versions of a “meeting,” in Positive Discipline we recommend following a specific format with a clear agenda to guarantee the most success. This format is similar to the way a classroom meeting would run in a Positive Discipline school.
Begin the meeting with compliments and appreciations of one another to set a positive tone. Although challenging to come up with initially, children will start to look for these throughout the week.
A chairperson is chosen to go through the agenda items which includes a list of concerns or challenges that have come up throughout the week. This list can be posted on the fridge or in a place accessible by each family member to add to as they experience a frustration that they would like some help in solving.
During the meeting, each family member then brainstorms solutions to the problems listed and a final suggestion is chosen by consensus that is both practical and respectful. That solution will be trialled for a week and then reflected upon at the next meeting.
Always finish the meeting with a fun family activity such as a game. Keep the meetings short and the tone positive. They should last no more than 10-30 minutes depending on the age of your children. Keep the focus on solutions and never blame.
Some of the benefits a family may experience from these meetings can include developing important lifelong skills such as listening, brainstorming, problem solving and mutual respect. Having weekly family meetings can create lasting traditions and memories, while also allowing children to feel a sense of responsibility, belonging and significance as they become important participants in
Andrea Kilam-Higgo and Philippa Roney are teachers at Cayman International School.