Grief and Loss can occur at many times during our lives. Sometimes we may grieve over the loss of someone special and sometimes losing our jobs, career, pets and even identity.
Feelings of loss and grief are usually associated with the death of someone close. These feelings can also occur however, when you lose something you care about. This may be a job, your health, your possessions or your way of life. When we lose something or someone close to us it takes time to adjust to life without that person, way of life or thing.
There is no set time for overcoming grief. The emotions and feelings that you experience will come and go and often it will feel like you have taken one step forward and two steps back. Over time however, you will start to feel better. It is important to remember, that feeling better and healing is not about forgetting the person or life style that you had it is about adjusting to life without them.
How do People Grieve?
Grief is a normal reaction to such a devastating loss. The way people experience that grief is different for everybody. Some of the ways that people react to a loss can include:
- Crying all the time
- Feeling sad or down
- Denial, don’t want to believe it
- Shock, feeling numb
- Lonely or isolated
- Headache, sleep disturbance, appetite change
- Difficulty concentrating
- Unable to enjoy usual activities or hobbies
- Increase in alcohol or drug consumption
- Suicidal thoughts, feeling like you can’t go on
Managing Grief and Loss
There is no ‘quick fix’ or easy way to grieve but there are some things that may help:
- Let yourself grieve; allow time for crying, it helps to be able to release your feelings.
- Make time for yourself; if you need to be alone occasionally, that’s okay but also make time to do something that you enjoy. Ensure you connect with your family and friends.
- Take care of yourself; look after your physical health by exercising and eating healthily. Even if you don’t feel like it, it will help.
- Avoid alcohol and drugs as they can delay the healing process by numbing your feelings.
- Say goodbye; this can be done formally through a funeral or you can create your own personal letting go ritual.
- Let others help you; talking to others can help you make sense of what you are feeling. Ask people to help you with practical support as well: cooking, driving, shopping or minding the children.
If you notice that you are experiencing 4 or more of the following symptoms then it is best to seek help from a mental health practitioner:
- Have no energy or feel tired all the time
- Restless, agitated or lethargic
- Lost or gained a large amount of weight
- Feeling worthless or guilty
- Difficulty concentrating or making up your mind
- Feeling that life isn’t worth living
Download and complete the test below to help you determine whether you require more attention to help you deal with grief and loss.
When lots of things seem to fall on your plate, it is hard not to experience feelings of stress. However, prolonged stress without any stress release may be debilitating to your physical and mental health and well-being.
Download and complete the test below to help you determine how stressed you are.
Have you been thinking that you have been spending too much time at the pokies than with your family? Has your family ever expressed that they think you should reconsider how much money you have lost? Have you ever thought that you may have a Gambling Addiction?
Download and complete the test below to help you determine whether you need extra attention to address your current stance on Gambling.
Sometimes in life we may find ourselves a little bit more agreesive than usual. However, is this a matter of life stressors or is there a deeper issue that we need to address?
Download and complete the test below to determine whether extra attention is required to help you with Anger.
When life gives us too many lemons, sometimes this may result in feeling anxious.
While everyone feels anxious from time to time, some people experience these feelings so often and/or so strongly that it can affect their everyday lives. Often people confuse anxiety disorders with stress. Stress is a normal reaction to a situation where a person feels under pressure. For example, it’s common for people to feel stressed or uptight when meeting work deadlines, sitting exams or speaking in front of a group of people. However, for some people these feelings are ongoing, happen for no apparent reason or continue after the stressful event has passed.
- Persistent worrying
- A sense of dread
- Feeling constantly “on edge”
- Difficulty concentrating
- Being easily distracted
- Physical symptoms such as dizziness, fatigue, dry mouth, headache, nausea, diarrhoea, menstrual problems, and difficulty falling or staying asleep (insomnia).
Anxiety disorder contributors
- Family history – people who experience an anxiety disorder often have a history of mental health problems in their family.
- Environmental factors
- Stressful events can also trigger symptoms of anxiety. Common triggers include
- changing jobs
- changing living arrangements
- family and relationship problems
- experiencing a major emotional shock following a stressful event
- experiencing verbal, sexual, physical or emotional abuse or trauma
- death or loss of a loved one.
- Physical health issues – Ongoing physical illness can also trigger anxiety disorders or complicate the treatment of the anxiety or the physical illness itself. Common conditions that can do this include
- hormonal problems e.g. over and under-active thyroid
- heart disease
- pregnancy and giving birth.
- Personality factors – Some research suggests that people with certain personality traits are more likely to have an anxiety disorder. For example, children who are perfectionists, easily flustered, lack self-esteem or want to control everything, sometimes develop anxiety disorders as adults.
What can I do?
There are 2 ways to treat Anxiety Disorders. These treatments are to seek help from a psychologist, doctor or counsellor and to take prescribed medication if required. The first step is to contact your medical practitioner. There are, however, things that you can do to help manage an Anxiety Disorders:
- Maintain good health. Eat healthily, exercise and take time to listen to music or do things you enjoy.
- Talk to your family and friends so that they can support you. Talking can help reduce your anxiety levels.
- Avoid alcohol and other drugs. These can increase your anxiety levels.
Download and complete the test below to help you determine whether you are currently experiencing Anxiety.
In the gloomy times in life, we may feel a little more sad than usual or feel that we are hopeless and helpless to tackle our own lives. However, prolonged feelings of sadness may be the early signs of depression.
Depression is a common mental illness which can affect anyone at anytime. Around one million Australian adults and 100,000 young people live with depression each year. On average, one in six people will experience depression in their lifetime – one in five females and one in eight males.
It is a state of low mood and aversion to activity that can affect a person’s thoughts, behaviour, feelings and physical well-being.
The five main types of depression are listed below.
- Major depression – a depressed mood that lasts for at least two weeks. This may also be referred to as clinical depression or unipolar depression.
- Psychotic depression – a depressed mood which includes symptoms of psychosis. Psychosis involves seeing or hearing things that are not there (hallucinations), feeling everyone is against you (paranoia) and having delusions.
- Dysthymia – a less severe depressed mood that lasts for years.
- Mixed depression and anxiety – a combination of symptoms of depression and anxiety.
- Bipolar disorder – (formerly known as manic depressive illness) involves periods of feeling low (depressed) and high (manic).
Signs and symptoms
- Withdrawing from close family and friends
- Not participating in usual enjoyable activities
- Feeling overwhelmed, irritable, miserable, sad
- Feeling tired all the time
- Headaches and muscle pains
- Loss or changes in appetite,
- Sleep problems
- Thoughts of “being a failure” and “life is not worth living”
What causes depression?
- Continuing difficult life events (e.g. long-term unemployment, living in isolation)
- Family history – depression can run in families and some people will be at an increased risk.
- Personality – people who worry a lot, have low self-esteem and are self-critical may be more at risk of developing depression
- Serious medical illness – serious illnesses can bring about depression directly or can contribute to depression through associated stress and worry
- Drug and alcohol use
- Changes in the brain – it is not fully understood how depression develops, however evidence suggests it may be related to changes in the level or activity of certain chemicals – particularly serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine.
Treatments for depression
- Psychological therapies
- Drug therapy
- Education and counselling
Download and complete the test below to help you to determine whether you are currently experiencing depression.