- Always be as kind and as helpful to other as possible. Try and smile and make them smile, happiness is contagious.
- Don’t take advantage of others or allow others to take advantage of you.
- Always take a moment to consider what you’ve done or said from another persons point of view or why they’ve done or said something.
- See beauty in everything. See how the light and sky changes in different times of day and year. It is gorgeous.
- Look after the world, we’ve ruined it enough and it was and still can be wonderful. We are from the earth; appreciate it.
- It is good to be outside, if ever you need time to think the fresh air and beautiful natural surroundings will help you.
- Never be afraid to ask for help if and when you need it. Ask an adult who you know loves you. You know there are a million people who’ll think you’re the most wonderful thing on earth.
- Be patient and empathetic.
- Be open minded. All kinds of prejudice are wrong. Accept everyone. Homophobia and racism are not okay. Don’t ignore them, stand against them. We must make this change.
- Girls, you are special. Boys are not stupid, however, don’t let them mess you around or ever talk you own. Always be kind.
- Boys, you are special. Girls are not stupid, however, don’t let them mess you around or ever talk you down. Always be kind.
- KNOW how important you are to those who love you.
- Become best friends with your siblings, if you allow it then will be the most amazing people in your lives.
- You cannot always have everything you want.
- Never convince yourself you don’t want something because you ”can’t have it”.
- Work hard for what you want.
- NEVER ignore what you love, never allow anyone to make you feel ashamed of it.
- Never belittle your own feelings or allow someone else to. If you feel something it is for a reason. It might just be ”today” or that you’re ”tired” or you’re ”over thinking” but if you feel it then it is important. Don’t ignore it.
- You don’t HAVE to measure success in the same was as everyone else.
- Work out what you want if you can, if you can’t then please try to be sensible while you keep yourself happy and afloat.
- You never have no one. Truly.
- The day your parents first help you was the most joyous day of their lives. Resent them, fight with them, think you can’t stand them but always remember: They love you. You were their joy. You LOVE them and owe them for all they have invested in you. Be respectful because in years to come you’ll want to thank them.
- Have fun, it’s okay to be silly.
- Ignore whatever anyone judgemental and mean thinks of you. You don’t really want their acceptance.
- Try at school, even if you don’t care right now, find something that interests you. It will help.
- Everyone will imply you must get the best grades for the best education for the best job for the best house and life. This isn’t true. Financial stability doesn’t mean definite happiness. Having other aims and values to the social norm may be a little harder but don’t shy away from it, from your true happiness.
- Be kind to animals.
- Respect other people’s faiths, beliefs and religions.
- Never belittle the feelings of others.
- If someone is excited about something don’t make them feel stupid for it.
- Don’t put up with things/people who make you unhappy.
- Never throw out that toy or thing that you’ve had since birth that comforts you.
- Always say please and thank you.
- Never say shut up.
- Always help others out if you can.
- Unless you’re REALLY ill don’t allow yourself to have a day off, it’s a bad habit that will really bring you down.
- Push yourself, do what’s ”character building”.
- If a ”fairy” is stuck inside, set it free and make a wish.
- The world could end in a year, don’t waste your youth doing mundane things that you don’t truly want to do.
- If you don’t want to go to uni, don’t. You aren’t a failure. If you want to go to uni but don’t know what to study, wait. Don’t become in debt for no reason.
- Don’t let anyone else ever dictate your happiness or worth.
- If someone is just humouring you to get what they want, don’t give it to them.
- Remember, you have so much time. Years and years.
- Don’t exhaust yourself. Rest.
- Don’t be lazy.
- Don’t self-medicate with drugs, alcohol or food. Talk.
- Don’t forget where you come from.
- Don’t cage yourself in.
- Don’t allow yourself to grow old without travelling and seeing new things.
- Everyone thinks they’re ugly. They’re wrong.
- Those men in suits telling us what to do are scared too. We’ve accidentally gone too far. It happened years ago and this is all out of hand. Don’t be too afraid, just take your time.
- Read and watch lots of films, read lots of poetry, listen to lots of music.
- Practice expressing yourself, ever if it’s just with a pen and paper at first. Never repress your feelings.
- Give lots of hugs.
- Smile at strangers.
- Be patient, especially with children and old people.
- Be selfless.
- Be selfish when it doesn’t hurt others.
- Don’t be vengeful.
- Be truthful, lying is bad.
- Try not to nap unless you need it.
- Give compliments.
- Say what you feel. If you like or love someone, tell them, just in case.
- Listen to your parents. They might not always be right but they always mean well.
- If you feel sick with worry, anxious, talk to someone or take the time to think it through. There might be nothing to worry about at all.
- Pets can really cheer you up.
- Make a list of things you love – if you’re feeling down look at it and do some of the things.
- Be observant, see the world’s natural art.
- Don’t give into peer pressure.
- Search for someone kind. Don’t accept anything less.
- Accept compliments.
- You have to give a little to get a little, but don’t give too much of yourself until you’re sure it’s right. Be open and trusting until proven not to be. Protect your heart.
- Find special places and go there on your own or with someone who’s special too.
- Write or do art, even if you’re terrible.
- If you want to learn something, learn it.
- Learn a language, you’ll not regret it.
- Take time to reflect, make sure you’re keeping your eyes, arms and mind open.
- Don’t be too afraid of the dark, light will return.
- If you’re ever unsure of how to deal with how you feel, force yourself to be around people who care and try to stay busy until it’s late enough to get an early night’s sleep. Sleep well and long. It’ll feel better in time.
- Time has no choice, it must keep moving forward: your suffering is always getting closer to being over.
- Always give a little at birthday’s and Christmas’. Make people feel special: thought of. It’s nice to feel that way.
- Rain isn’t necessarily bad. It is beautiful and refreshing. It is good to feel the elements.
I awoke so many times I lost count, with tears in my eyes. One time in particular I awoke after a nightmare. I’d been at a gathering in an old house that I do not recognise but in my dreams it is familiar to me. I fall asleep and as I do a deep fear grips me and I know there is danger, I try to move, to awaken, but I am in a deep paralysis. This time I woke and my heart wasn’t thudding like it has when I’ve dreamt this in the past. The dawn was still and cold and the birds and faint voices of early travellers outside seemed more like noises from a television set than the outside world to me. I lay and blinked away the tears from my eyes, bruises with purple pressure dots from trying so hard not to cry, and I realised suddenly how stupid I had been. How foolish it was of me, to believe that anything would change.
When I was 15 I realised it would be selfish to expect anyone to help me. I promised myself I’d never let anyone fall in love with me.
By the time I was 16 I had put myself through painful months of brainwashing, convincing myself I didn’t want children when in reality I was just terrified of ending up with them and still wanting to kill myself and not being able to. I convinced myself they’re nothing more than an anchor to life, holding me down, I didn’t want them. For about a year every young child I saw, every baby, every piece of baby clothing, every children’s game, every pregnant woman, they all made me cry.
I’ve realised in the years since that family is the only thing that can ground me. The only thing that draws me time and time again back from the edge. I have such love and such joy with my family.
Yet whenever I’m with them and whenever I’m with every friend I’d made since I feel guilt.
As if I’m lying to them when I say I love them. As if it’s inevitable, that no matter what they do and no matter how much they love me, and I them, I am going to ruin them. I am going to kill myself, shamelessly selfishly, and I am going to destroy their lives.
Last night my dreams disturbed me. Myself and two others were put helplessly above some wild, caged animals. We were left sitting upon flimsy scaffolding, trying to help one another although falling to our doom was inevitable for one of us.
Among these animals were a number of grotesque human-lie creatures. They stood with bound hands and feet – as far as I could tell – trembling. They were fidgeting constantly in pain and anger. Some had their faces covered by sacks, some had the heads of animals instead of a human one. More than I could focus on keeping myself or friends safe, I focused on them: thinking and knowing in the pit of my stomach that they were the biggest threat. They were dangerous. And hoping to God that they weren’t and never had been human, that they didn’t have the ability to cognate or to move.
I knew, somehow, that in their consciousness or not they were waiting, that it was our fault and that they wanted to destroy us.
I woke as someone fell.
In this dream I sat silent as I could below and old window, my back pressed against the cold, hard concrete of the abandoned house.
They were after me, a man and a woman – whose faces I did not know. And in my stomach I felt a tug for there was someone I had promised to help but I could not.
I dreamt I was visited by an old friend, one who is on the other side of the world.
She surprised me. Unannounced she arrived and as always our friendship was in full bloom and I felt such joy.
I awoke too early, again, and sat in the silence and over-warmth of my room, alone.
I slept long and deep. With flashing memories of cold and Matlock and dangerous strangers and the warm allure of death.