Love is not Enough
Parents may need to put their life goals on hold and look after their own emotional needs so that they can create an environment where their child is connected and secure. Babies are not blank slates but rather, born with tremendous potential for self-realization. Or self-negation. Attachment patterns have a multigenerational aspect. (When parents focus on the comfort, security and happiness of their young child their child benefits, and so do future generations). The human brain develops – not according to genetics, but largely in response to input from the environment. In other words, a baby's capacity for intimate relationships, connection, self-regulation, attention and stress regulation are directly shaped by the emotional availability of the parents. Moreover, the brain develops for the most part during the first three years of life. During that time the right conditions need to be met for healthy brain development. Love is not enough. Babies need parent/caregivers who are non-stressed, non-depressed, emotionally available and consistently available. Thus, parents must try their best to provide a safe and low-stress environment for their babies and toddlers. This may involve dealing with their own stress and seeking as much support as needed.