Raising children means taking them from where they are and raising them up a step in what gives them pleasure.
Every child is born with pleasure in something. To raise a child means to introduce the next level of pleasure. Not take away pleasure, but introduce a higher pleasure.
For example, children are born with pleasure in touch and taste, so we sing to our children and teach them to enjoy music because the pleasure in music is a higher pleasure.
After we introduce music, we teach our children the pleasure of good character.
When we read a book to our children about somebody who did something special and heroic and the child’s eyes light up and they enjoy hearing about it, that is the pleasure that comes from appreciating good character. It is a greater, deeper, and more intense pleasure than eating and touching and it’s also higher than music.
The next step up is intelligence. When a child figures out a puzzle or a riddle or you ask a question and the child knows the answer, and you see the pleasure that it gives the child, that is the pleasure of intelligence.
Raising children means helping them up the ladder of pleasures, and that is how we help children become good and decent people.