Watching my children play, they look happy. They laugh, they smile, they run until they are exhausted and they jump with excitement at the mention of an Icecream. They look happy and when they are not happy, we know about it. Children are pretty good at expressing themselves, sometimes too good.
As we get older our definition of happiness changes. We don’t jump up and down squealing at the mention of a glass of wine after a long day (although I think we should do this more), we don’t always laugh as hard or as long as we should at the funny things in life. So does this mean we are not happy?
How do you measure happiness? Is it how high you jump? Is it how often you laugh?
Or rather how do we know we are not happy We are not talking about the occasional unhappy moment or sulk, we are referring to long term unhappiness.
Below are 5 things that may be a sign of an unhappy person.
- Pessimism – unhappy people don’t think the glass is half full, it is half empty and will remain empty forever. They think it will rain, when it does rain, they are not even happy they were right, they are just smug that they were right.
- Jealousy – we are all susceptible to the green eye monster. Of course, it is natural to be jealous, it can help set yourself higher targets or aspirations. However when jealousy consumes an unhappy person, it can make them feel pretty awful or lead to negative thoughts that stay long after the jealous moment has happened. Jealousy can make a person spiteful, make bitter comments about some good news they are hearing.
- Blame – unhappy people often blame others for their shortcomings. A refusal to take responsibility, or see that the issue lies with them. They just think it is everyones else’s fault. This can often be the trait of an unhappy person.
- Worry and fear – we all worry. We all have moments of fear. However someone who is unhappy feels more fearful than most. The fear is a negative thing that can take a person down a more negative route. Interestingly fear and anxiety elicit the same physical reactions in a body as excitement does. It is the mind that is telling us what we are feeling – whether it is fear or excitement (remember this next time you feel fearful, tell yourself you are excited instead..)
- Bad habits – often an unhappy person will have an unhappy diet or an unhappy relationship with habits. Food is so integral to how we are feeling and so if someone is unhappy, their food might be partly to blame. A diet high in sugar, full of bad fats and in excess not only leads to an unhappy body, but an unhappy mind.
We all strive to be happy people. We like to be happy and in a world where we are bombarded by so many versions of happiness and how we can achieve it, it can be hard to understand what happiness can actually look like.
Take some time to assess your happiness.
Love Sophie x