by Curswell Tshihwela
Feminism is not the belief that one gender should be raised in power above another, it only means that we should love and respect one another regardless of gender. Feminism is a movement towards equal society for male, female and transgender people, without discrimination and oppression. People should not feel discriminated against for being who they are. They should be able to live in peace, without fear of not conforming to the “social norm.” We need to change the social norm where women are always seen as less effective compared to their counterpart males.
We need to move towards a society where men are not afraid to be vulnerable and women are allowed to be independent; a society where being male or female has no impact on how a person lives their life; a society where the pressure is off and everyone can be themselves. So when people comment against feminism, they are supporting sexism which is a form of oppression, domination, and discrimination based on sex or gender, or the belief that because men are superior to women, discrimination is justified. There is no sitting on the fence. You are either a feminist or sexist. Unfortunately, most sexists don’t know they are sexist and compose the majority of the population.
They are unaware that sexism is something that has been forced on to them through the brainwashed media of a patriarchal society where men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it. We need to stop thinking of people in regards to their gender. We need to stop associating people with a certain level of power over other people just because they were born with certain genitals. Power over another person is not okay. Rape culture has grown out of the idea that someone can be controlled without their permission. Women are killed, abused and raped “literally” every day, but nobody is saying anything. The perpetrators walk freely because nobody is holding them accountable.
It wasn’t so long ago that our culture took the step forward to make slavery a crime. People, regardless of their gender, race or upbringing, should be able to do what makes them happy. The idea that one gender is inferior to another in any aspect is ridiculous and destructive. We are limiting opportunity for cultural, scientific, technological and medical breakthroughs by holding on to that idea. Each individual has their own special talents and abilities that they can choose to contribute to society, and if we start to embrace those abilities without prejudice and without controlling people with stereotypical gender roles, then we can tap into resources that have been greatly suppressed.
Generations of society before us have had strong patriarchal themes which mostly perpetuate discrimination and oppression to certain gender. People who speak against feminism are scared of change. They are scared of the idea of everyone being treated the same, instead of one gender having control over another. They are scared of shedding the holds of patriarchy in society and accepting everyone as an individual human being, not categorizing them as male or female. Most of all, they are scared that they will not hold the same importance as a person if their power as a certain gender is taken away. Why should one group of people be in control of another? Why have we, as a society, given them this “birthright?”
The answer is that the patriarchal ideals of past generations have descended onto us. Children today are still being indoctrinated with old concepts of gender roles, with “girl’s toys” focussed around child-rearing and kitchen duties and “boy’s toys” focused around more “masculine” tasks such as building and fighting. We spend too much time teaching girls to worry about what boys think of them. But the reverse is not the case. We don’t teach boys to care about being likable. We spend too much time telling girls that they cannot be angry or aggressive or tough, which is bad enough, but then we turn around and either praise or excuse men for the same reasons.
All over the world, there are so many magazine articles and books telling women what to do, how to be and not to be, in order to attract or please men. There are far fewer guides for men about pleasing women. We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise, you would threaten the man. Because female aspirations are expected to be marriage. Females are expected to make their life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same?
We raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or accomplishments, which would be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are. What if, in raising children, we focus on ability instead of gender? What if we focus on interest instead of gender? We should be teaching our children that it doesn’t matter whether you are male, female, or other. We should love, respect and treat each other fairly regardless of gender.
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