WRITING AN EFFECTIVE PARAGRAPH
(From Wheeler & Walshe Mastering English p. 99)
A properly structured paragraph is a microcosm of the essay and has its unity too. Sentences in a paragraph can be connected by craft, not just by implied meanings . See that sentence by sentence, the same reference is carried forward for easy reading. Consider this faulty piece:
My comment: You can see that each of the four sentences starts with a new reference, sometimes with a sharp shift away from the initial focus. The reader is expected to keep up with the writer and move from "librarians" to "informational literature" and then to "childhood imagination", an abstract enough idea anyway. The "It" in the last sentence is ambiguous, meaning either "imagination" or the impersonal it as in "It is raining." Recast, the paragraph reads much better:
Use these four methods to make your paragraphs more cohesive:
Comment: Reference to "Good health" is repeated by the reference words highlighted. This structures connectedness so we keep on the one focus throughout. The paragraph is unified; it does not drift from one topic to another or others. A paragraph is one point clarified, expanded, illustrated, reinforced. A well constructed paragraph needs only one reading!
Now consider this paragraph from a recent student draft and rewrite it according to the four rules illustrated above:
Comment: We sort of get the idea but the writing craft could be better. First the topic sentence says "museum" is the key idea so further this idea sentence by sentence:
The paragraph now has connectedness, a structure (a beginning, middle and conclusion) and needs to be read only once. Go now and write likewise!
Homework exercise: Build up a paragraph within the body of an expository essay on this topic sentence:
Today's school student must cope with many different influences. . .
Decide what is your key idea: will it be "different influences" or "cope"? Let's itemise them in one paragraph then discuss cope in a second. The phrase "different influences" contains a plural noun which can be unpacked, itemised: the influences could be listed as peer pressure, academic demands, time constraints, need to develop relationships, etc. Then ROUND off the paragraph with the key idea in a slightly different form so it acts as a springboard for the next paragraph:
Today's school student must cope with many different influences. Influences for good or bad come from peers; the student must find an acceptable path between what peers think and what he wants. Parents and school are on-going strong influences demanding success at his or her academic studies. A school student can also find his time is too short as he tries to pack many activities into his day. Finally a school student needs to give time to developing a significant relationship. Like it or not, the student must learn to juggle all these demands in all their variety.
Consequently, the school student has to find ways to cope with these many and various demands. He will inevitably fail here and there to anticipate, plan and meet demands. He will inevitably experience stress in meeting them. To cope well, he must learn to delay satisfactions, to prioritise his time and define his responsibilities. Otherwise he will be all at sea, blown about by competing needs, and achieving very little very well. Not coping, he will please neither himself nor anyone one else. Coping skills then ought to be taught as part of the school curriculum.
Teaching and learning coping skills at school will . . .
For more paragraph writing techniques: see
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G. Smith January 1, 1992. Revised 28/1/00, 5/2/00.If you printed this page, it can be found again at: http://www.thehub.com.au/~greg/paragraph.html