Young parents these days have unprecedented access to parenting resources. Frequently discussed is the notion that acts of defiance and rebellion children display at a young age could be red flags signaling deeper underlying behavioral issues.
DivvyPixel / Pixabay: young boy jumping up and down
Nothing beats the frustration of repeating an instruction over and over and have your child feign blissful ignorance. This is where tempers rise, and you think that they’re doing this on purpose.
Well, as it turns out, they usually are not. If your kid is in the middle of another activity, it is more likely that they were simply too distracted to register what you were saying.
On the other hand, children may sometimes resist directions when they feel overwhelmed or bombarded. To circumvent this, give them a feeling of control over their actions. Get up close and empathize with their situation. Explain why you need them to get a certain task done and give a time limit to complete said task.
If they want to pick the bedtime story for that night, let them. Transferring some of the control will incentivize your child to pay closer attention to your words.
If you are heading into a situation – a nice dinner out, for example – where you know that your kid will have restricted mobility, come prepared. Your child cannot engage in adult conversations, and the boredom and restlessness will eventually result in an outburst or tantrum.
This can be avoided by coming armed with distractions – a toy or a coloring book, perhaps. Try and make plans with them in mind, opting for kid-friendly restaurants that can engage them with a playground or a ball pit.
As a last resort, when used in moderation, a phone or a tablet can be a useful tool to keep children quiet and focused.
Every parent’s worst nightmare – the temper tantrum, complete with shrill shrieking, kicking, and buckets of tears. Have you wondered why children are so much more prone to throwing tantrums than adults?
Kids simply have yet to develop the appropriate coping mechanisms to deal with their frustrations. They have also yet to build the vocabulary to adequately express how they feel. This leads to negative emotions growing and eventually bursting out in the form of meltdowns.
An angry, irritated response from you will only result in them feeling worse. Neither should you immediately attempt to placate them by giving in to their demands, for this will set the precedent that throwing tantrums is an easy way to accomplish things.
Instead, give your child space and time to exhaust themselves. Crying can be cathartic, and a good way to drain their angry energy.
When they have calmed down, sit down, and have a discussion about how they felt and why they reacted the way they did. Be patient and understanding, but be firm in the fact that you will not be held hostage by future peevishness.
Ultimately, a lot of parenting simply boils down to acceptance and understanding. It is tempting to hold your kids to high standards, but be wary that these expectations are not unrealistic. It is difficult to relate to a kid – it has been a long time since any of us were at that age, but it is important to try and see things from their perspective.