The theme of this week’s positive psychology exercises will be nurturing your relationships with others – whether from a distance, or in close quarters that might be straining them. (You might be wondering – will every week have a theme? I don’t know! Please feel free to share ideas for exercises/themes you’d like to see!)
When I introduced the “R” in Seligman’s PERMA Theory of Well-Being, I quoted Chris Peterson: “Other people matter.” Relationships have been one of the cornerstones of the field of positive psychology since the very beginning. Early investigations suggested that close relationships foster happiness and well-being; for example, individuals who can name several friends with whom they share intimate information report higher levels of happiness, and people experience more positive emotions when they spend time with others. Among college students, the happiest individuals are highly social – they spend more time with other people, and they rate their relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners as stronger than those with average or low levels of happiness. Social relationships not only provide us with support for coping with stress and adversity, they also help us thrive and pursue opportunities for growth and development.
Today’s exercise is one of the oldest and most well-studied positive interventions: the gratitude letter. This exercise was included in one of the earliest empirical investigations of the efficacy of positive interventions. Compared to both a placebo exercise and other positive interventions, the gratitude letter yielded the greatest short-term boost in well-being; a boost which was maintained through at least one month after participants had completed the activity.
I hope today’s exercise helps you begin your week on a positive note!
Today’s Positive Psychology Exercise: The Gratitude Letter
This exercise is simple: write a letter to someone expressing your gratitude. Martin Seligman’s version of this exercises encourages you to choose to write to someone you have “never properly thanked.” Chris Peterson suggests describing what you are grateful for using as many concrete details as possible. Consider ways to make writing this letter most meaningful to you – you might choose to write the letter by hand, or read it aloud to yourself before sealing the envelope. Find a way to deliver your letter – you could read your letter aloud to the recipient over a phone or video call, or follow up with a text, call, or email if you send your letter in the mail.
Toepfer, S. M., Cichy, K. & Peters, P. (2012). Letters of gratitude: Further evidence for author benefits. Journal of Happiness Studies, 13, 187-201. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-011-9257-7
Abstract: This study examined the effects of writing letters of gratitude on three primary qualities of well-being; happiness (positive affect), life-satisfaction (cognitive evaluation), and depression (negative affect). Gratitude was also assessed. Participants included 219 men and women who wrote three letters of gratitude over a 3 week period. A two-way mixed method ANOVA with a between factor (writers vs. non-writers) and within subject factor (time of testing) analysis was conducted. Results indicated that writing letters of gratitude increased participants’ happiness and life satisfaction, while decreasing depressive symptoms. The implications of this approach for intervention are discussed.