Preparing for Marriage and Family
Annotated Bibliography for Parents
Julia K. Fenderson
- 1. Introduction
- Urantian Teachings: Taught by two parents in the home.
- Continual process, integral part of family life, vary methods and materials fill needs of differing ability and interest levels of children.
- First Priority: Need for Parents' Guide and Parents' Training Courses.
- Next Needs: Supplementary materials for pre-school children (ages 2-5) using multi-media (music, art, to help build concepts and vocabulary).
- 2. The Essential Experiences of Parenthood
- "[Parenthood] entails the supreme responsibility of human existence."
- "[New mores are emerging among which is] the new role of religion--the teaching that parental experience is essential, the idea of procreating cosmic citizens, . . . giving sons to the Father."
- 3. The Family and Home
- "[Jesus] exalted family life as the highest human duty."
- "The family is man's greatest purely human achievement."
- "The home is the crowning glory of the whole long and arduous evolutionary struggle."
- 4. The Unique Role of the Earthly Father
- "[The child] is wholly dependent on the earthly father for his first ideas of the heavenly Father."
- (NOTE: The great significance of Jesus' bestowal life here, in which more than half the time was served as an earthly father to eight brothers and sisters, "almost a score of years." P. 1389:5 By comparison, four years were spent with the apostles, and the remaining fourteen were the childhood years.)
- 5. How Children Learn
- Studies indicate that crucial years are from birth to age five, and growth of 50% of intelligence by age five and 80% by age eight.
- Types of motivation for learning used throughout universe career.
This Annotated Bibliography has been prepared with far more detail than usual, in an effort to save parents' time in looking up these references. However, even more details can be found by checking the listed pages on the left margin of each page.
In beginning the preparation of children's materials it was found imperative to first provide a background for the parents. This is in answer to many requests from parents. By understanding the philosophy presented in The Urantia Book regarding the place of children in the home and in society, parents will be better able to present The Urantia Book teachings to their children. This will also provide information about the parents' role and responsibilities and methods of teaching the spiritual truths to their children.
The Urantia Book was given to us with one stated purpose of improving life on this planet, and another, of enhancement of personal religious experience both of which could begin to be implemented at once by parents in the home.
In Paper 73, we are told that the Garden of Eden was established to upstep life on this planet. Much of the home life and training of children was copied from that of Jerusem and was above even today's civilized world.
All of the quotations are included with the intent of providing specific guides to be used by parents in the home. They were given to us for the purposes stated:
2. The Essential Experiences of Parenthood
- "Parents; those who have borne and reared children, are better able to understand why Michael, a Creator-father, might be slow to condemn and destroy his own Sons. Jesus' story of the prodigal son well illustrates how a loving father can long wait for the repentance of an erring child." 616.2
- (Recommended for Urantian Parents) "Attendance of parents, both fathers and mothers, at the parental schools of child culture is compulsory. Even the agriculturists who reside in small country settlements carry on this work by correspondence, going to the nearby centers for oral instruction once in ten days--every two weeks, for they maintain a five-day week." 811:2
- "The average number of children in each family is five, and they are under the full control of their parents or, in the case of demise of one or both, under that of the guardians designated by the parental courts. It is considered a great honor for any family to be awarded the guardianship of a full orphan. Competitive examinations are held among parents, and the orphan is awarded to the home of those displaying the best parental qualifications." 811:3
- "New mores are emerging designed to stabilize the marriage-home institution:
- The new role of religion - the teaching that parental experience is essential, the idea of procreating cosmic citizens, the enlarged understanding of the privilege of procreation--giving sons to the Father." 939:6
- "Love of offspring is almost universal and is of distinct survival value . . . .The animals love their children; man-civilized man--loves his children's children. The higher the civilization, the greater the joy of parents in the children's advancement and success; thus the new and higher realization of name pride comes into existence." 940:4
- "The advancing ideals of family life are leading to the concept that bringing a child into the world, instead of conferring certain parental rights, entails the supreme responsibility of human existence." 941:3
- "Civilization regards the parents as assuming all the duties, the child as having all the rights. Respect of the child for his parents arises, not in knowledge of the obligation implied in parental procreation, but naturally grows as a result of the care, training and affection which are lovingly displayed in assisting the child to win the battle of life. The true parent is engaged in a continuous service-ministry which the wise child comes to recognize and appreciate." 941:4
- When Jesus was in his eighth year, Nahor, one of the teachers of the Jerusalem academy of the rabbis came to Nazareth to observe Jesus. Nahor asked Mary and Joseph to take Jesus back with him to Jerusalem to be educated at the Jewish center of culture. Mary rather wished to do this but Joseph was very hesitant. Nahor then requested permission to lay the whole matter before Jesus. Jesus talked it over with Jacob, the stone mason as well as Joseph and Mary. Then he reported that he had talked it over with his Father in heaven and though he was not perfectly sure of the answer he rather felt he should remain at home with his parents for: "They who love me so much should be able to do more for me and guide me more safely than strangers who can only view my body and observe my mind but can hardly truly know me. They all marveled, and Nahor went his way, back to Jerusalem." 1365:4
- "A loving parent experiences little difficulty in forgiving his child, even many times. And in an unspoiled child the urge to relieve suffering is natural, Children are normally kind and sympathetic when old enough to appreciate actual conditions." 1575:3
- Jesus said, "It is not wise for the host to participate in the family troubles of his guests; a wise parent never takes sides in the petty quarrels of his own children." 1589:5
- "Intelligent children do not fear their father in order that they may receive good gifts from his hand; but having already received the abundance of good things bestowed by the dictates of the father's affection for his sons and daughters, these much loved children are led to love their father in responsive recognition and appreciation of such munificent beneficence. The goodness of God leads to repentance; the beneficence of God leads to service; the mercy of God leads to salvation; while the love of God leads to intelligent and freehearted worship." 1675:5
- Jesus said: "This same Father has directed the creation of male and female, and it is the divine will that men and women should find their highest service and consequent joy in the establishment of homes for the reception and training of children, in the creation of whom these parents become co- partners with the Makers of heaven and earth." 1839:5
- Jesus answered: "My brethren, you err in your opinions because you do not comprehend the nature of those intimate and loving relations between the creature and the Creator, between man and God. You fail to grasp that understanding sympathy which the wise parent entertains for his immature and sometimes erring child. It is indeed doubtful whether intelligent and affectionate parents are ever called upon to forgive an average and normal child. prevent all those estrangements which later necessitate the readjustment of repentance by the child with forgiveness by the parent." 1898:3
- "A part of every father lives in the child. The father enjoys priority and superiority of understanding in all matters connected with the child-parent relationship. The parent is able to view the immaturity of the child in the light of the more advanced parental maturity, the riper experience of the older partner. With the earthly child and the heavenly Father, the divine parent possesses infinity and divinity of sympathy and capacity for loving understanding. Divine forgiveness is inevitable; it is inherent and inalienable in God's infinite understanding, in his perfect knowledge of all that concerns the mistaken judgment and erroneous choosing of the child. Divine justice is so eternally fair that it unfailingly embodies understanding mercy." 1898:4
- "When a wise man understands the inner impulses of his fellows, he will love them. And when you love your brother, you have already forgiven him. This capacity to understand man's nature and forgive his apparent wrongdoing is Godlike. If you are wise parents, this is the way you will love and under- stand your children, even forgive them when transient misunderstanding has apparently separated you. The child, being immature and lacking in the fuller understanding of the depth of the child-father relationship, must frequently feel a sense of guilty separation from a father's full approval, but the true father is never conscious of any such separation. Sin is an experience of creature consciousness; it is not a part of God's consciousness." 1898:5
- "Your inability or unwillingness to forgive your fellows is the measure of your immaturity, your failure to attain adult sympathy, understanding, and love. You hold grudges and nurse vengefulness in direct proportion to your ignorance of the inner nature and true longings of your children and your fellow beings. Love is the outworking of the divine and inner urge of life. It is founded on understanding, nurtured by unselfish service, and perfected in wisdom." 1898:6
- "Faith was not immature and credulous like that of a child, but in many ways it did resemble the unsuspecting trust of a child mind. Jesus trusted God much as a child trusts a parent. He had a profound confidence in the uni- verse--just such a trust as the child has in its parental environment. Jesus' wholehearted faith in the fundamental goodness of the universe very much resembled the child's trust in the security of its earthly surroundings. He depended on the heavenly Father as a child leans upon its earthly parent, and his fervent faith never for one moment doubted the certainty of the heavenly Father's overcare." 2089:2
3. The Family and Home
- "The Material Sons and Daughters, together with their children, present an engaging spectacle which never fails to arouse the curiosity and intrigue the attention of all ascending mortals . . . . These Material Sons and Daughters are the permanent inhabitants of Jerusem and its associated worlds. They occupy vast estates on Jerusem and participate liberally in the local management of the capital sphere." "These Material Sons are the high- est type of sex-reproducing beings to be found on the training spheres of the evolving universes. And they are really material; even the Planetary Adams and Eves are plainly visible to the mortal races of the inhabited worlds." 515:7, 515:4, 515:2
- "Children of pre-Adjuster ages are cared for in families of five, ranging in ages from one year and under up to approximately five years." 532:2
- "The Adjuster-indwelt children and youths on the finaliter world are also reared in families of five, ranging in ages from six to fourteen." 532:4
- (Note) Never does The Urantia Book state the average number of children a family on Urantia should have. We have not yet begun the biologic renovation of racial stocks and selective elimination of inferior human strains. This must come first.
- If an affectionate father of a large family chooses to show mercy to one of his children guilty of grievous wrongdoing, it may well be that the extension of mercy to this misbehaving child will work a temporary hardship upon all the other and well-behaved children. Such eventualities are inevitable; such a risk is inseparable from the reality situation of having a loving parent and of being a member of a family group. Each member of the family profits by the righteous conduct of every other member; likewise must each member suffer the immediate time-consequences of the misconduct of every other member." 618:7, 619:1
- "On these superb worlds the childbearing period is not greatly prolonged. It is not best for too many years to intervene between the ages of a family of children. When close together in age, children are able to contribute much more to their mutual training. And on these worlds they are magnificently trained by the competitive systems of keen striving in the advanced domains and divisions of diverse achievement in the mastery of truth, beauty, and goodness." 625:6
- "By now the population has become stationary in numbers. Reproduction is regulated in accordance with planetary requirements and innate hereditary endowments: The mortals on a planet during this age are divided into from five to ten groups, and the lower groups are permitted to produce only one half as many children as the higher. The continued improvement of such a magnificent race throughout the era of light and life is largely a matter of the selective reproduction of those racial strains which exhibit superior qualities of a social, philosophic, cosmic, and spiritual nature." 630:7
- In this continent group dwellings for families have been outlawed. "These people regard the home as the basic institution of their civilization. It is expected that the most valuable part of a child's education and character training will be secured from his parents and at home, and fathers devote almost as much attention to child culture as do mothers." All sex instruction and religious instruction are administered in the home by parents or legal guardians. 811:1, 811:4, 811:5
- "The observation of Abel's conduct establishes the value of environment and education as factors in character development. Abel had an ideal inheritance, and heredity lies at the bottom of all character: but the influence of an inferior environment virtually neutralized this magnificent inheritance Abel, especially during his younger years, was greatly influenced by his unfavorable surroundings. He would have become an entirely different person had he lived to be 25 or 30; his superb inheritance would then have shown itself. While a good environment cannot contribute much toward really over- coming the character handicaps of a base heredity, a bad environment can very effectively spoil an excellent inheritance, at least during the younger years of life. Good social environment and proper education are indispensable soil for getting the most out of a good inheritance." 848:7
- "Marriage is enduring; it is not inherent in biologic evolution, but it is the basis of all social evolution and is therefore certain of continued existence in some form. Marriage has given mankind the home, and the home is the crowning glory of the whole long and arduous evolutionary struggle." 913:1
- "While religious, social, and educational institutions are all essential to the survival of cultural civilization, the family is the master civilizer. A child learns most of the essentials of life from his family and the neighbors . . . . The family as an educational institution must be maintained." 913:2, 913:3
- "The regulation of sex in relation to marriage indicates:
- The relative progress of civilization. Civilization has increasingly demanded that sex be gratified in useful channels and in accordance with the mores." 913:6
- "No human emotion or impulse, when unbridled and overindulged, can produce so much harm and sorrow as this powerful sex urge. Intelligent submission of this impulse to the regulations of society is the supreme test of the actuality of any civilization. Self-control, more and more self-control, is the ever-increasing demand of advancing mankind. Secrecy, insincerity, and hypocrisy may obscure sex problems, but they do not provide solutions, nor do they advance ethics." 914:6
- "Monogamy is not necessarily biologic or natural, but it is indispensable to the immediate maintenance and further development of social civilization. It contributes to a delicacy of sentiment, a refinement of moral character, and a spiritual growth which are utterly impossible in polygamy. A woman never can be an ideal mother when she is all the while compelled to engage in rivalry for her husband's affections. Pair marriage favors and fosters that intimate understanding and effective co-operation which is best for parental happiness, child welfare, and social efficiency. Marriage, which began in crude coercion, is gradually evolving into a magnificent institution of self-culture, self-control, self- expression, and self-perpetuation." 927:8, 928:1,2
- "The real test of marriage, all down through the ages, has been that continuous intimacy which is inescapable in all family life. Two pampered and spoiled youths, educated to expect every indulgence and full gratification of vanity and ego, can hardly hope to make a great success of marriage and home building--a life-long partnership of self-effacement, compromise, devotion, and unselfish dedication to child culture." 928:8
- "And in so far as the social group falls short of providing marriage preparation for youths, to that extent must divorce function as the social safety valve which prevents still worse situations during the ages of the rapid growth of the evolving mores . . . . The great inconsistency of modern society is to exalt love and to idealize marriage while disapproving of the fullest examination of both." 929:2
- "Nevertheless, there is an ideal of marriage on the spheres on high. On the capital of each local system the Material Sons and Daughters of God do portray the height of the ideals of the union of man and woman in the bonds of marriage and for the purpose of procreating and rearing offspring. After all, the ideal mortal marriage is humanly sacred." 930:1
- "In concept, at least, the family is becoming a loyal partnership for rearing offspring, accompanied by sexual fidelity." Marriage "is the evolving social partnership of a man and a woman, existing and functioning under the current mores, restricted by the taboos, and enforced by the laws and regulations of society." 930:4
- "In later times evolving love is beginning to justify and glorify marriage as the ancestor and creator of civilization's most useful and sublime institution, the home. And home building should be the center and essence of all educational effort." 931:1
- "Marriage is the mother of all human institutions, for it leads directly to home founding and home maintenance, which is the structural basis of society. The family is vitally linked to the mechanism of self-maintenance; it is the sole hope of race perpetuation under the mores of civilization, while at the same time it most effectively provides certain highly satisfactory forms of self-gratification. The family is man's greatest purely human achievement, combining as it does the evolution of the biologic relations of male and female with the social relations of husband and wife." 939:3
- "As are the families of the race or nation, so is its society. If the families are good, the society is likewise good. The great cultural stability of the Jewish and of the Chinese peoples lies in the strength of their family groups." 939:4
- "The mores (religious, moral, and ethical), together with property, pride, and chivalry, stabilize the institutions of marriage and family. Whenever the mores fluctuate, there is fluctuation in the stability of the home-marriage institution." 939:6
- "But the home as an institution, a partnership between one man and one woman, dates more specifically from the days of Dalamatia, about one-half million years ago, the monogamous practices of Andon and his immediate descendants having been abandoned long before . . . . Adam and Eve exerted a lasting influence on all mankind; for the first time in the history of the world men and women were observed working side by side in the Garden." 940:2
- "Family life has become more and more costly, while children, who used to be an asset, have become economic liabilities. But the security of civilization itself still rests on the growing willingness of one generation to invest in the welfare of the next and future generations. And any attempt to shift parental responsibility to state or church will prove suicidal to the welfare and advancement of civilization." 941:5
- "Marriage, with children and consequent family life, is stimulative of the highest potentials in human nature and simultaneously provides the ideal avenue for the expression of those quickened attributes of mortal personality. The family provides for the biologic perpetuation of the human species. The home is the natural arena wherein the ethics of blood brotherhood may be grasped by the growing children. The family is the fundamental unit of fraternity in which parents and children learn these lessons of patience, altruism, tolerance, and forbearance which are so essential to the realization of brotherhood among all men." 941:6
- "Family life is the progenitor of true morality, the ancestor of the consciousness of loyalty to duty. The enforced associations of family life stabilize personality and stimulate its growth through the compulsion of necessitous adjustment to other and diverse personalities. But even more, a true family--a good family--reveals to the parental procreators the attitude of the Creator to his children, while at the same time such true parents portray to their children the first of a long series of ascending dis- closures of the love of the Paradise parent of all universe children." 942:2
The Pleasure Mania
- "The great threat against family life is the menacing rising tide of self- gratification, the modern pleasure mania. . . .It remains a fact that the evolving mores have failed to build any distinct institution of self- gratification. And it is due to this failure to evolve specialized techniques of pleasurable enjoyment that all human institutions are so completely shot through with this pleasure pursuit . . . The violet race introduced a new and only imperfectly realized characteristic into the experience of humankind--the play instinct coupled with the sense of humor. It was there in measure in the Sangiks and Andonites, but the Adamic strain elevated this primitive propensity into the potential of pleasure, a new and glorified form of self-gratification. The basic type of self-gratification, aside from appeasing hunger, is sex gratification, and this form of sensual pleasure was enormously heightened by the blending of the Sangiks and the Andites." 942:3, 942:4, 942:5
- "There is real danger in the combination of restlessness, curiosity, adventure, and pleasure-abandon characteristic of the post-Andite races. The hunger of the soul cannot be satisfied with physical pleasures; the love of home and children is not augmented by the unwise pursuit of pleasure." 942:6
- "Do not try to satisfy the curiosity or gratify all the latent adventure surging within the soul in one short life in the flesh. Be patient! Be not tempted to indulge in a lawless plunge into cheap and sordid adventure. Harness your energies and bridle your passions; be calm while you await the majestic unfolding of an endless career of progressive adventure and thrilling discovery." 2076:1
- "Man has well earned some of his present-day joys and pleasures. But look you well to the goal of destiny! Pleasures are indeed suicidal if they succeed in destroying property, which has become the institution of self- maintenance; and self-gratifications have indeed cost a fatal price if they bring about the collapse of marriage, the decadence of family life, and the destruction of the home--man's supreme evolutionary acquirement and civilization's only hope of survival." 943:2
- "The teaching about guardian angels is not a myth; certain groups of human beings do actually have personal angels. It was in recognition of this that Jesus, in speaking of the children of the heavenly kingdom, said: 'Take heed that you despise not one of these little ones, for I say to you, their angels do always behold the presence of the spirit of my Father." 1241:3
In discussing the various groups of angels, the Chief of Seraphim points out two groups which are helping the home.
"7. The angels of enlightenment. Urantia is now receiving the help of the third corps of seraphim dedicated to the fostering of planetary education." The other group,
"9. The home seraphim. Urantia now enjoys the services of the fifth group of angelic ministers dedicated to the preservation and advancement of the home, the basic institution of human civilization." 1256: #7,9
- "The family occupied the very center of Jesus' philosophy of life--here and \ hereafter. He based his teachings about God on the family, while he sought to correct the Jewish tendency to over honor ancestors. He exalted family life as the highest human duty but made it plain that family relationships must not interfere with religious obligations. He called attention to the fact that the family is a temporal institution; that it does not survive death." 1581:1
- "Jesus said: "'The people of another age will better understand the gospel of the kingdom when it is presented in terms expressive of the family relation- ship--when man understands religion as the teaching of the fatherhood of God and the brotherhood of man, sonship with God.' Then the Master discoursed at some length on the earthly family as an illustration of the heavenly family, restating the two fundamental laws of living: the first commandment of love for the father, the head of the family, and the second commandment of mutual love among the children, to love your brother as yourself. And then he explained that such a quality of brotherly affection would invariably manifest itself in unselfish and loving social service." 1603:6
- A true family is founded on the following seven facts (please see p. 1604 for expanded version):
- The relationship of father and child is inherent in all nature.
- True fathers take great pleasure in providing for the needs and pleasures of their children.
- Wise fathers carefully plan for education and training for children, for later life.
- Farseeing fathers make provision for discipline, guidance, correction, and sometimes restraint.
- The affectionate father builds intimate and loving companionship with his children and builds loyalty.
- A compassionate father is freely forgiving and loving. Real families are built upon tolerance, patience, and forgiveness.
- Temporal fathers like to provide for the future and leave an inheritance for their sons. 1604
- "For hours the Master discussed the application of these features of family life to the relations of man, the earth child, to God, the Paradise Father. This entire relationship,. . . I know in perfection,. . . in me is the way now open still wider for all of you to see God." 1604:2
- "It is the divine will that men and women should find their highest service and consequent joy in the establishment of homes for the reception and training of children, in the creation of whom these parents become copartners with the Makers of heaven and earth." 1839:5
- See expanded version on pp. 1921-12 of John Mark's early home training. "When the lad [John Mark] asked the Master how he could know that he would turn out to be a 'mighty messenger of the kingdom,' Jesus said: 'I know you will prove loyal to the gospel of the kingdom because I can depend upon your present faith and love when these qualities are grounded upon such early training as has been your portion at home.' 'Your whole afterlife will be more happy and dependable because you have spent your first eight years in a normal and well-regulated home . . . where love prevailed and wisdom reigned. Such a childhood training produces a type of loyalty which assures me that you will go through with the course you have begun." 1921:6, 7
- "It is our sincere belief that the gospel of Jesus' teaching, founded as it is on the father-child relationship, can hardly enjoy a world-wide acceptance until such a time as the home life of the modern civilized peoples embraces more of love and more of wisdom . . . it remains a fact that very few modern homes are such good places in which to nurture boys and girls as Jesus' home in Galilee and John Mark's home in Judea, albeit the acceptance of Jesus' gospel will result in the immediate improvement of home life." 1922:5
- "The love life of a wise home and the loyal devotion of true religion exert a profound reciprocal influence upon each other. Such a home life enhances religion, and genuine religion always glorifies the home" 1923:1
4. The Unique Role of the Earthly Father
- "As you ponder the loving nature of God, there is only one reasonable and natural personality reaction thereto: You will increasingly love your Maker; you will yield to God an affection analogous to that given by a child to an earthly parent; for, as a father, a real father, a true father, loves his children, so the Universal Father loves and forever seeks the welfare of his created sons and daughters." 40:2
- "Jesus revealed God as the Father of each human being. The entire mortal concept of God is transcendently illuminated by the life of Jesus. God loves not like a Father, but as a father,. . . love gives and craves affection, seeks understanding fellowship such as exists between parent and child. Righteousness may be the divine thought, but love is a father's attitude." 41:2-3
- "The stupendous change from the mother-family to the father-family is one of the most radical and complete right-about-face adjustments ever executed by the human race. This change led at once to greater social expression and increased family adventure " 933:6
Earthly-Father Role of Jesus
Of all the many examples given of the supreme importance of the earthly- father role, none seems more significant than the fact that our own Creator of the local universe, Michael of Nebadon, served as an earthly father to Joseph's eight children, more than half of his entire bestowal career on this earth.
- "For almost a score of years (until he began his public ministry) no father could have loved and nurtured his daughter any more affectionately and faith- fully than Jesus cared for little Ruth. And he was an equally good father to all the other members of his family." 1389:5
- "He continued, right up to the event of his baptism, to contribute to the family finances and to take a keen personal interest in the spiritual welfare of every one of his brothers and sisters. And always was he ready to do everything humanly possible for the comfort and happiness of his widowed mother." 1419:1
- "Jesus rightly reasoned that the watchcare of his earthly father's family must take precedence of all duties; that the support of his family must become his first obligation." 1389:8, 1390:1
- "Apparently all Jesus' plans for a career were thwarted . . . . But he did not falter; he was not discouraged. He lived on, day by day, doing well the present duty and faithfully discharging the immediate responsibilities of his station in life. Jesus' life is the everlasting comfort of all dis- appointed idealists." 1393:1
- "And the rigorous experience of supporting his family was a sure safeguard against his having overmuch time for idle meditation or the indulgence of mystic tendencies." 1393:6
- "The Zealots approached Jesus to join their group in rebelling against the payment of taxes to Rome. Jesus was scarcely seventeen, when he gave his famous reasons for refusal: That his first duty was to his widowed mother and eight brothers and sisters who needed a father's watch care and guidance. When Isaac offered to support the family if Jesus would go, Jesus replied: 'No matter how much money was forthcoming for their material support, making his never-to-be-forgotten statement that 'money cannot love.' Everyone in Nazareth well knew he was a good father to his family, and this was a matter so near the heart of every noble Jew." 1397:7
- "Every mortal really craves to be a complete person, to be perfect even as the Father in heaven is perfect, and such attainment is possible because in the last analysis the 'universe is truly fatherly,"' 1573:2
- "A father's affection can attain levels of devotion that immeasurably transcend a brother's affection." 1573:7
- "A father's love need not pamper, and it does not condone evil, but it is always anticynical. Fatherly love has singleness of purpose, and it always looks for the best in man; that is the attitude of a true parent." 1574:6
- "Fatherly love delights in returning good for evil--doing good in retaliation for injustice." 1575:10
- And Jesus said to Jacob, the wealthy Jewish trader from Crete: "And now have I come in the flesh to reveal the Father in new glory and to show forth his love and mercy to all men on all worlds." As the gospel of this kingdom shall spread over the world . . . there will grow up improved and better relations among the families of all nations. As time passes, fathers and their children will love each other more, and thus will be brought about a better understanding of the love of the Father in heaven for his children on earth . . . a good and true father not only loves his family as a whole-- as a family--but he also truly loves and affectionately cares for each individual member." 1597:2
- "'Loving your children as a father on earth, you must now accept as a reality the love of the heavenly Father for vou--not just for all the children of Abraham, but for you, your individual soul."' 1597:3
- "'You should rejoice to enter the kingdom wherein such a merciful Father rules, and you should seek to have his will of love dominate your life henceforth.' And Jacob answered: 'Rabbi, I believe; I desire that you lead me into the Father's kingdom."' 1597:4, 1598:1
- "Among other things, the Master said: 'You well know that, while a kind- hearted father loves his family as a whole, he so regards them as a group because of his strong affection for each individual member of that family . . . . God loves you--every one of you--as individuals."' Religion is thus a personal experience. 1629:5
- "'When children are young and unthinking, they must necessarily be admonished to honor their parents; but when they grow older and become somewhat more appreciative of the benefits of the parental ministry and protection, they are led up, through understanding respect and increasing affection, to that level of experience where they actually love their parents for what they are more than for what they have done. The father naturally loves his child, but the child must develop his love for the father from the fear of what the father can do, through awe, dread, dependence and reverence to the appreciative and affectionate regard of love."' 1675:7, 1676:1
- "The family represents to the young child all that he can first know of either human or divine relationships. The child must derive his first impressions of the universe from the mother's care; he is wholly dependent on the earthly father for his first ideas of the heavenly Father." 1922:4
- The liberty of modern homes "is not restrained by love, motivated by loyalty, nor directed by the intelligent discipline of wisdom. As long as we teach the child to pray, 'Our Father who is in heaven,' a tremendous responsibility rests upon all earthly fathers so to live and order their homes that the word father becomes worthily enshrined in the minds and hearts of all growing children." 1923:2
- Consider that this magnificent revelation, this encyclopedia of information, this greatest of all spiritual guides, ends with the Father concept: "The Father is living love, and this life of the Father is in his Sons. And the spirit of the Father is in his Son's sons--mortal men. When all is said and done, the Father idea is still the highest human concept of God." 2097:3
5. How Children Learn
There are so many references in The Urantia Book on each of several motivations for learning that it was necessary to select only a few examples for each of the seven found in our outline:
- Repetition of new learning in varied experiences,
- Play and humor,
- Learning by doing,
- Reinforcement of learning by teaching those one step below.
(Note) In recent years there has been much opposition to the use of rewards such as stars or prizes. In fact some principals have issued firm directives against this practice feeling that this might make some children feel superior to others. However, on the long ascension trail, ascenders learn to face failure gracefully, a lesson that is sadly neglected in the average school of today. Also, all along the universe path, recognition of various types does reward achievement.
- Socialization: The value of socialization in education and learning is shown all the way up to Paradise starting with the lowest group of mortals. "And the commingling of these manifold types provides the seraphic complements of rest with a rich situational environment which they effectively utilize in furthering the education of the ascending pilgrims, especially with regard to the problems of adjustment to the many groups of beings soon to be encountered on Paradise." 296:4
- Socialization: "Ethical awareness is simply the recognition by any individual of the rights inherent in the existence of any and all other individuals."
Every new person our children meet adds one more level of ethics to be recognized and complied with. And this is true all through the inward-ascending career of mortals. And your child imparts something from his own experience and personality to every child he meets so that every one is thus made forever different and better for having associated with another. 300:4
- Play and Humor: "The need for the relaxation and diversion of humor is greatest in those orders of ascendant beings who are subjected to sustained stress in their upward struggles."
The need for play and humor is emphasized through all The Urantia Book teachings. Children should be trained in these two methods of relaxation from an early age. It is sad to note that the present schoolrooms do not consistently build and develop the sense of humor inherent in our children. Instead, humor is often inhibited. 549:4
- "When we are tempted to magnify our self-importance, if we stop to contemplate the infinity of the greatness and grandeur of our Makers, our own self- glorification becomes sublimely ridiculous, even verging on the humorous. One of the functions of humor is to help all of us take ourselves less seriously. Humor is the divine antidote for exaltation of ego." 549:3
- Good and faithful Urantia parents can help their children avoid or at least diminish some of the problems of the morontia career. Listen to this: "Those things which you might have learned on earth, but which you failed to learn, must be acquired . . ." in the morontia life. "There are no royal roads, short cuts, or easy paths to Paradise." The morontia career must: "effect the permanent eradication from the mortal survivors of such animal vestigial traits as procrastination, equivocation, insincerity, problem avoidance, unfairness, and ease seeking." 551:2, 3
- Competition: The early planetary "schools of culture and training are well adapted to the needs of each planet, and there soon develops a keen and laudatory rivalry among the races of men in their efforts to gain entrance to these various institutions of learning." 575:5
- On the Spheres of Light and Life "[the children] are magnificently trained by the competitive systems of keen striving in the advanced domains and divisions of diverse achievement in the mastery of truth, beauty, and goodness." 625:6
- Socialization: "On these superb worlds the childbearing period is not greatly ly prolonged. It is not best for too many years to intervene between the ages of a family of children. When close together in age, children are able to contribute much more to their mutual training." 625:6
- Leaning by Doing: "There are no classrooms, only one study is pursued at a time , . . . Books are used only to secure information that will assist in solving the problems arising in the school shops and on the school farms. Much of the furniture used on the continent and the many mechanical contrivances--this is a great age of invention and mechanization--are produced in these shops."
Leaning by Doing: This great motivation was used in training people in the Garden, On a Neighboring Planet, in Jesus' home life and all through the ascension career. 812:4
- Reinforcement of Leaning: This method of immediately teaching those just below you is used throughout the universe. "After the first three years all pupils become assistant teachers, instructing those below them." 342:2, 812:4
- Competition: "The forenoon periods of recess were devoted to practical horticulture and agriculture, the afternoon periods to competitive play." 835:6
- Educational Training: "Social inheritance enables man to stand on the shoulders of all who have preceded him, and who have contributed aught to the sum of culture and knowledge. In this work of passing on the cultural torch to the next generation, the home will ever be the basic institution . . . . The human baby is born without an education; therefore man possesses the power, by controlling the educational training of the younger generation, greatly to modify the evolutionary course of civilization." 909:5
(Note that this great power rests primarily in the home.)
- And how we need to use this book as a guide to help us improve the home and rear the next generation, as we read on page 909: "Modern civilization is at a standstill in spiritual development and the safeguarding of the home institution." 909:7
- Socialization: This method was used in Jesus' home training when he was 2-3 years old, in Alexandria, Egypt. In the home where Jesus lived there were "two other children about his age, and among the near neighbors there were six others," so that Jesus learned to play with eight children in that garden and home. 1355:2
- Socialization: "Jesus received his moral and spiritual culture chiefly in his own home. He secured much of his intellectual and theological education from the chazan. But his real education--that equipment of mind and heart for the actual test of grappling with the difficult problems of life--he obtained by mingling with his fellow men . . . . Jesus was highly educated in that he thoroughly understood men and devotedly loved them." 1363:2
- ART: When he was about ten years old, "Jesus and the neighbor boy Jacob became great friends of the potter who worked near the flowing spring; and as they watched Nathan's deft fingers mold the clay on the potter's wheel, many times both of them determined to be potters when they grew up. Nathan was very fond of the lads and often gave them clay to play with, seeking to stimulate their creative imaginations by suggesting competitive efforts in modeling various objects and animals." 1364:3
- MUSIC: In Jesus' eighth year (A.D. 2) "[he] made arrangements to exchange dairy products for lessons on the harp. He had an unusual liking for everything musical. Later on he did much to promote an interest in vocal music among his youthful associates. By the time he was eleven years of age, he was a skillful harpist and greatly enjoyed entertaining both family and friends with his extraordinary interpretations and able improvisations." 1364:8
- "Jesus delighted in drawing landscapes as well as in modeling a great variety of objects in potter's clay. Everything of that sort was strictly forbidden by Jewish law, but up to this time he had managed to disarm his parents' objection to such an extent that they had permitted him to continue in these activities." However, after a scene at school when the elders called on his parents, Joseph felt constrained to rule that Jesus could not draw or model. Jesus obeyed as long as he lived in his father's house but it was one of the great trials of his young life. 1366:4
- Leaning by Doing: "Before he was eight years of age, . . . Jesus learned to milk the family cow and care for the other animals. During this and the following year he also learned to make cheese and to weave. When he was ten years of age, he was an expert loom operator." During his eighth year (A.D. 2) Jesus began to spend a week or more on his uncle's nearby farm. 1364:3-5