Vera Philosophia mortis est meditatio (True philosophy is the contemplation of death)
Edward is dying of the influenza and his parents are as well. As Edward lies in the dark, gloomy hospital rooms he thinks of death and what will happen to him afterwards.
Thanks to Patrick-Henry on the Twilight Lexicon forums for being a wonderful Beta. I wrote this for a Latin test on which we had to write a brief story to explain a Latin proverb.
1. Chapter 1
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(True philosophy is the contemplation of death)
It was 1918, and lying in the hospital bed, Edward Anthony Masen knew he was about to die.
“‘Would I go to heaven or hell’?’ he thought to himself. ‘Are there even such places? Will I be reincarnated, or just black out?’”
Edward lay in bed wondering if he had even been good enough to go to heaven. Edward thought that since he was only seventeen he might not have lived long enough to be good. This reminded him of an old saying his father had told him, the saying was about how it was decided whether or not you went to heaven.
At the gates to heaven St. Peter would ask you, “Have you had joy in your life? Have you brought joy to others?”.
Then, depending on your answers you would either be let through the gates or descend to Hell.
Edward asked himself these question ‘No,’ he thought.
He had been the teenage son of a rich father. Edward had partied, been drunk several times, and broken the hearts of sweet girls who had chased after him. He had never felt love for any of these girls and now felt bad for leading them on.
Though recently, Edward hadn’t really had any social life, What with the influenza epidemic spreading and most of his friends in Europe because of the war.
‘If by some miracle I make it though this,’ he thought dejectedly, ‘I’ll have only a year until I can get drafted. Either way I have about a year left to live.’
During the few weeks before Edward got the flu his friends had started avoiding him because he was a mental wreck. With his best friend having been sent home in box and both his parents in the hospital with the flu, he kept to himself and only talked to the doctor treating his parents, Dr. Cullen.
Dr. Cullen, who was also treating him, came into Edward's room.
"'Your parents just died, son, I'm sorry,' said Dr. Cullen nervously during one of Edward's rare conscious moments. 'Your mother told me to make sure I saved you.' Dr. Cullen looked as if he had been up all night treating people. It seemed as if he could have passed out right then and there".
Edward was to weak to say anything. All he could do was nod as warm tears ran down his face. His mother’s life passed before him, he saw his first memories of her replayed through his head like a black and white film. It was as if she had not been able to see her life flash before her eyes , so he had the experience for her.
The second question Edward had an easier time answering. 'No, I haven’t brought joy to anyone's life, unless you count my parents, because they always wanted a son. I should have helped my parents more, I should have been a better son, I should have let my mother hug me in front of friends instead of pulling away in embarrassment, I should have...I should have, but I shouldn’t think about that now what’s done is done and there’s no undoing it. The people who should be able to think back on fondly in a few years are all of those girls hat I dated. In the beginning, some of the girls I dated might have gotten small moments of joy. I would buy them presents if I did something too bad and always do nice things for them on holidays and birthdays, but those were only material things nothing special, nothing to be remembered, nothing real,’ Edward thought to himself ‘Well I answered no to both the questions, if there is a Hell I’ll probably end up there.’
Dr. Cullen entered the room soon after Edward's conversation with himself. He looked around furtively before closing the curtains around Edward's bed. He leaned his head towards Edward.
‘Why is he doing this? Why are his hands always so cold? AM I DEAD!? IS HE FEELING FOR MY PULSE!?’ Edward thought frantically trying to move but being to weak to do so.
All he was able to was move his eyes around the room. Edward saw Dr. Cullen look into his eyes and open his mouth. Edward felt a pierce of something into his skin, maybe a shot or something, but whatever it is it is causing him pain beyond anything he had ever felt before. Also he could feel Dr. Cullen’s icy cold skin rubbing up against his own. Then Edward blacked out and his body felt as if it were engulfed in flames.
‘I’m dead,’ he thought through the pain, ‘And now I’m in Hell.’