What can we do when we worry too much?
This episode is inspired by the help I’ve been provided for my daughter whilst she’s worrying about her GCSE’s. It’s not just GCSE’s that cause worry these days. There’s so much pressure in daily lives that what works for my teen also works for my clients (and vice versa).
When you find the thoughts go round and round in your head, what do you do? Ignore them? When we do that they make our head busy, we can’t think straight.
Here’s what we can do when we worry too much.
1. Recognise Them
First we need to recognise they are they are there.
Listen into the explanation Emma gives about how worries are like a small child vying for attention. Eventually, we need to turn out attention to that child and listen.
We need to do the same with our worries. Recognise they are there.
“Train your brain to recognise those nagging moments”
If we continue to pretend those anxious thoughts are not there, they will continue to remind us they are!
2. Create a Worry Spot
Find a chair or space in your house that you can sit in for about 10 minutes a day and give time and space to your worries. Make sure this is a space you don’t normally use, a spare chair or even half way up the stairs! Use this worry spot to let the thoughts, worries, stressors go round in your head. Allow them to be there. Often given them time and space to just ramble around can make them seem clearer or less of a concern. If some of them aren’t sorted in 10 minutes, then that’s ok. Just tell them you’ll come back to them the next day.
“When you calm down the worries you create space in your head”
3. Listen to the Worries
When we begin to recognise what those are there, we can change them. That’s it – – just notice them – allow them to be there. With a bit of practice the thoughts can begin to seem different. When you’ve noticed that they are there, instead of trying to stop them, avoid them, ignore them or even change them. Just let them be there.
6.30m Listen to the explanation about how Emma helped her daughter with a customer service type plan.
You might like to let your thoughts know you’ve notice them, that you know they are there. You can do this out loud if you like but a little thought in your head will do the trick. Then you don’t have to do anything else with those anxious thoughts, you don’t have to tell anyone else they are there. You don’t even have to agree with them. Just notice them.
4. Sort Them Out
When you really spend a few moments recognising they are there; you can begin to sort them out. Are they big or small? Are they heavy or light? Which ones are really important and which are just little niggles? Maybe some are busy whizzing around and others have been sat there while.
Some you might need to make an appointment to sort out the worry and look at it in more detail. Then the worry won’t keep nagging you to look at it and remember it.
That way, whatever shape, size, level of importance they have, it gets so much easier to cope with them being there without them being so difficult / annoying / scary.
Retraining Your Worry Brain
9.30m If you’ve been a constant worrier for a long time, you might need to sit down for 10 minutes each day and look at the worries. Doing this frequently will re-train your brain and over time the worries will be become less.
It might seem a bit weird at first – especially if you’ve lived with worries and anxious thoughts for a loooonnng time. It can be a weird in a good way!