Anytime you start arguing with a woman about women’s rights, the argument will often stall with the phrase “but we have been oppressed for so long so we deserve more than you”, as if it was on par with slavery of black people or the Holocaust for the Jews. They say that women used to be treated like inferior beings with no rights and that men had it all, and therefore we have to feel guilty and pay for our past mistakes. It seems that nobody ever disputed that statement, because this seems to be widely accepted as a fact. But it’s not.
The woman’s role
If we look at recent western society during the few last centuries, there was a deal between men and women in order to raise successful and prosperous families. Each had their own role and had to fulfill it. Women stayed home, popped as many babies as possible and took care of the house and the kids. They had to do a lot of house chores, they had to teach children the basics of life, and they had to give them their love. It wasn’t easy because the families were a lot bigger than today. They sacrificed their youth and body for the family. They were the supporter of their husband and made his life easier by complementing him on tasks he couldn’t do himself. That’s how society viewed them: as house wives, as caretakers, as allies behind the husbands.
Notice how she does it with a smile
Women didn’t have the right to vote and were excluded from most of the political scene, and they couldn’t legally own properties for a long time. On the other hand, they were treated accordingly, with special treatment. Most of the time, they didn’t need to work for money, because men paid for them. They lived with their parents until they got married, and only then they would leave the house to move with their husband, who took care of them financially. If the husband died, another man from the family would take care of the widow.
They didn’t have to stand up for themselves because men protected them. Men had to be gentlemen around them and if a woman needed help to carry something or was attacked in public, any men, strangers or friends, would come to her aid. If there was a war, women didn’t have to fight, protected by men who put their lives on the line. On sinking ships, in burning houses, and in other calamities, women were saved first and men could be left behind. This was so because women were considered useful to society in a different way than today. They were respected like a mother would be respected and a wife would be respected, and another division of labor was just impossible at the time.
The man’s role
As for their part of the deal, men had to bring food and money to the table. That wasn’t easy either and it was a big sacrifice. There was no affordable university degrees at the time, so the vast majority of men had to do perilous work all day long, ranging from farming to logging and fishing. Back in the day, and even today, these jobs were dangerous and if you didn’t pay for your mistakes and adventures with a limb, you paid them with your life. When the industrial age came about, things didn’t necessarily get better: coal mining was one of the most dangerous jobs at the time. Those men who worked in mines did so under very harsh conditions, sometimes 16 hours a day, 6 days a week. They could die any moment by falling in holes, being drowned by floods, suffocating on toxic gases, being crushed by rocks, or being torn apart by an explosion.
There were no unions to protect your working conditions or social security to pamper you, so if you lost an arm on your shift, tough shit. Not only did you lose your job but you couldn’t find another one because you were handicapped and useless, and you had to rely on church charity to barely survive or become a beggar. All this sacrifice was done so the wife and the kids could have a house to live in and food to eat.
Men were forced to work to the limits of their ability, requiring masculine qualities like courage, resilience and leadership. Women’s lifestyle brought them different kind of challenges that required different skills and attributes, like compassion, sensitivity and gentleness. So when men came home to their wives and kids, they would be soothed and relaxed by that mysterious feminine mystique, something that was non-existent in the deep underground or in the middle of the sea. They would be pleased to be received by a joyful, smiling wife who would make their life lighter.
“How was your day honey?”
That gave them a reason and enough energy to go back to hard work the next time and be good at it. On the other hand, wives needed masculinity to bring order, authority and rational decisions into their lives. The husbands would fix things in the house, solve disputes and spend some time with the kids to teach them about life. They would also take a little time to tell their wives to not worry, that everything is under control and everything is going to be alright.
Feminists lie when they say that women were oppressed by picking only certain elements from the past and by comparing it with today’s standards of living. They maliciously ignore the context in which those women lived. It’s wrong to say that men had it easier without looking at the entire picture.
In the past, men and women were closely tied together, so how can you bring up women’s misery of the past without bringing up men’s misery as well? Men and women were a team, each had their roles, and families were seen as units living in communities, where everyone did their part for the best of the group. Taking men or women separately from the time and analyzing them through today’s strong sense of individualism, and using it as an argument to further put guilt in the mind of today’s men, is just another effective trick radical feminists use to elevate themselves above others. It’s wrong and it’s dishonest.
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