There are bigger benefits to getting organized than a clean room. "It's essential for learning," explains Laurie Hollman, Ph.D., author of Unlocking Parental Intelligence. Think about it: You can't ace a spelling test if you can't even find your spelling homework. Organization also encourages responsibility and thoughtfulness, and that can positively influence other aspects of life, including relationships, says Tovah Klein, Ph.D., author of How Toddlers Thrive. "When kids are organized, they can be independent and calm," she says. "If they know what they need and where to find it, they can do things on their own."
Rule #1: Keeping stuff tidy
Little kids: Involve them in cleanup (don't do it for them after bedtime!), and make it fun, says Klein. For example, race to put the toys away — you can even set a timer! Stick with it, and by the time your kid reaches first grade, she should organize her toys on her own, almost on autopilot.
Older kids: Pinpoint one area your grade schooler or tween keeps neat (e.g., "Hey, at least she always puts her dishes in the sink") and talk to her about applying that skill elsewhere, suggests Nancy Darling, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Oberlin College: "Just like your bowl goes in the sink, your jacket goes in the closet. Let's put a hook by the door so it's just as easy." When your child sees she already knows how to be orderly, the task will feel doable.
Rule #2: Showing up on time
Little kids: Toddlers don't understand time, so the only way to teach them promptness is through routines, say Klein. Establish a few good ones, like "bath, then book, then bed" or "soccer, then reading, then lunch." If your child grows accustomed to staying on a schedule (and not dawdling), timeliness will come naturally as she grows up.
Older kids: The key lesson at this age: Don't procrastinate. Instilling this idea can be as simple as requiring your kids to lay out their clothes in the evening or to start a social studies poster a week in advance.
Rule #3: Finishing what's been started
Little kids: Introduce this rule to tots as young as 1 by reading books all the way through; this helps them see that stories — and most things in life — should have a beginning, middle and end, says Hollman. Likewise, make a rule that if he decides to stop playing with a toy (like his car), he has to put it away — that is, end it — before pulling out a new one. But it's OK to let a big project, like a Lego sculpture, linger. This encourages creativity and teaches your child how to manage long-term projects.
Older kids: Getting distracted, usually by technology, is the big hindrance for teens to completing schoolwork (or even laundry). Your job: Articulate rules and limits for tech use. Designate tech-free zones in the house, and make sure your teen has a quiet place to study. And practice what you preach: Put away your own device when you get home.
This story originally appeared in the March 2016 issue of Good Housekeeping.