You don't know, what you don't know!
Learn the signs of abuse, know what your options are, find out where to get help, make a plan!
Know some of the warning signs of an abusive relationship or an abusive personality. Here are some WARNING signs of an abusive personality:
Jealousy * Controlling Behavior * Quick Involvement * Past Battering * Unrealistic Expectations * Moodiness * Los Self-esteem * Threats of Violence * Blames Others for His Problems and Feelings * Hypersensitivity * Cruelty to Children or Animals * "Playful" Use of Force in Sex * Verbal Abuse * Rigid Sex Roles * "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" * Isolation * Breaking or Striking Objects * Using Any Type of Force During an Argument*
Many women don't think of themselves as abused or battered. They don't see the things that their partners do to them as abusive, and they don't see them as a pattern. Abuse is about control. It is one person scaring another into doing what he wants her to do. It is not just one hit; it is a pattern of behaviors. Abuse can be physical, emotional, sexual, or economic. It can also be criminal. It is usually a whole series of behaviors used to get and keep control.
Here is a list of questions for you to ask yourself.
You don't need to answer "yes" to all of them inorder to have been abused.
These behaviors are indicators or "red flags!"
HAS YOUR PARTNER EVER......
Hit, grabbed, choked, bitten burned, slapped, or pushed you?
Used a gun, knife, or some other weapon against you...or threatened to do so?
Hit you with an object, such as a bat, pan or belt?
Hit, held, or squeezed you so hard that it left a bruise?
Threatened to hurt or kill you, your children, or friends?
Withheld money, food, medicine, or transportation from you?
Called you names, made you feel ashamed of yourself, or humiliated you?
Put you down in front of your children, your friends, or your boss?
Forced you to have sex when you didn't want to?
Forced you to perform sexual acts that you didn't want to?
Destroyed or broken your possessions?
Threatened to harm or kill himself, if you do or don't do something?
Harmed or killed a pet?
Anyone Can Be A Victim of Abuse
They come from all age groups, races, lifestyles, and social-economic groups. There is a HIDDEN MAJORITY, they are your sisters, neighbors, friends, and co-workers. Their lives look good on the outside. There are real issues of single parenting and economic hardships, coupled with the shame some feel that keeps them from seeking help. The fear that their family may lose respect in the community may also cause them to choose not to share about their abuse.
If you are a women of a racial or ethnic minority...
You may feel less likely than others to receive help because of prejudice, and you may be reluctant to seek help for this reason. Your partner may use your common experience with prejudice (and your fear of it) to keep you under control. He may tell you that if you "have him arrested," he may be beaten or killed by the police. He may even blame you for seeking help outside of your own community.
If you are a lesbian or a gay male survivor...
You can get assistance you need and be sensitively and respectfully helped by calling Eva's Place. Help is available. An additional resource is: Affirmations at 1-800-398-GAYS for help in getting out of an abusive relationship.
If you are a male survivor...
There is a popular misconception that men can't be abused. They can! Although the frequency is less common than abuse of women, it is just as wrong. Some men believe they'll be humiliated or disbelieved if they speak up, you need to use your voice and report the abuse to force it to stop. There are services for male vicitms too!
If you have a physical disability...
You may be perceived as being easier to control. You may be battered by your personal attendant, or your caregiver might threaten to withhold food, medication or care. Your isolation, due to environmental barriers, may be increased by the batter who removes a wheelchair ramp or a TTY, or who won't help you get places. If you don't drive or use public transportation, excape can be more difficult.
If you are elderly...
The person you depend on for care may be abusing or neglecting you. Many older people are afraid to report this for fear of retaliation. You may think that if this caregiver is out of the picture, you will haev nowhere to go. There is help available for you too.
Some examples of abuse and neglect of older people are improper use of restraints or medication, threats of punishment or isolation, being left alone for long periods of time; having money stolen, being deprived of meals, beverages, eyeglasses or hearing aids.
If any of this information describes you or your current situation, don't suffer in silence!
Reach out for help, if you don't know where to start, call Eva's Place toll free 1-866-336-7283