Would you like to create a space for open and honest communication with your kid? Using this simple two question method of uncovering what they like or do not like, will help them learn this valuable skill.
- What do you like that I am doing?
- What do you not like that I am doing?
Communication is a skill that must be developed and nurtured. You can start to build this open and honest communication style between you and your kid with these simple questions.
You can begin the conversation by emulating what you will be asking them.
What do I (parent) like that you (child) are doing?
- I like that you are eating your vegetables at dinnertime!
- I really like that you smile a lot!
- I like that you are reading so much!
What do I (parent) not like that you (child) are doing?
- I do not like that you are having trouble sharing your toys.
- I do not like when you take such big bites that you chew with your mouth open.
- I do not like when you are frustrated and don’t tell me why.
After your child has told you what they like or do not like, make sure you acknowledge what they said, and ask for suggestions on what they think might improve things.
For example, if your kid tells you that they do not like that you send them to time-out, first explain your rationale behind doing this but also ask them for their recommendations of how they think those situations could be done better. This reinforces that they were heard and that you are willing to consider their opinions, all wonderful ways to reinforce open and honest communication!
Now it’s their turn to tell you what they like and do not like about things.
You will be amazed at how observant your child is and how happy they are to tell you what they think. This simple two-step question allows them the space to safely tell you what they do not like and reinforces the power of positive feedback by sharing what you each like. Teaching kids how to provide constructive criticism in a non-hurtful way can be a skill they use their whole lives. Give it a try!