The Science of Attachment:
The Biological Roots of Love
by Lauren Lindsey Porter
|Turn on your television. Walk the
aisles of a toy store. Peruse the shelves in the baby department.
What do you find? Toys to enchant and stimulate. Products to
soothe and calm. Videos to enhance intelligence. Games to teach.
There is a myriad of merchandise out there, all designed to
connect with our babies, magnify their intelligence, and help them
negotiate the world. There is also a vast library of advice to go
along with the merchandise. Grandparents, pediatricians, friends,
obstetricians, and daycare providers, to name just a few, each
have volumes to speak on the subject of parenting. The themes that
quickly emerge include fostering baby's independence, refraining
from spoiling, and encouraging acceptable behavior and sleep
patterns. Much of this advice focuses on easing the burden on
parents, particularly mothers, who often feel overwhelmed at the
arrival of a new baby or the challenges of a toddler. Even for
parents drawn to child-centered, attachment-focused childrearing,
difficulties arise that cause confusion and questioning, leaving
us to wonder if we're doing the right thing. How can you sort it
all out? Are there rights and wrongs? If so, how do you find them?
|The field of attachment theory provides some
answers. Behind the capitalist marketing, beyond the mainstream
agenda, beneath the advice of the masses, there exists an
extensive, sound, and powerful body of research in the fields of
neuroscience, psychology, and infant development. It gives us the
answers we seek, but may not be what we want to hear. Our
instincts have long told us to meet the needs of our babies, even
when we haven't understood how or why. Now compelling
cross-discipline, integrative research joins the findings of
neurology, psychiatry, biology, genetics, and psychology to hand
us the keys to unlocking the mysteries of parenting. This research
offers clear evidence that creates a fundamental understanding of
why attachment is the cornerstone of infant development, and how
to create a secure environment that guides our children to their
|Attachment theory began in the
1950s with the work of John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth. Bowlby, an
English psychiatrist, became interested in young children's
responses to loss, and began studying the realms of attachment and
bonding. He and Ainsworth, an American psychologist who conducted
some of the most extensive field research into mother-infant
interaction ever completed, formulated what is now commonly known
as attachment theory.
Attachment theory is based on the belief that the mother-child
bond is the essential and primary force in infant development, and
thus forms the basis of coping, negotiation of relationships, and
If the mother is absent or unavailable, a primary caregiver serves
the mother's role. Attachment can be defined in both behavioral
and emotional terms. From a behavioral perspective, attachment is
represented by a cluster of instinctive child behaviors that serve
to create the attachment bond, protect the child from fear and
harm, and assist in the safe exploration of the world.2
These behaviors include reaching, clinging, sucking, and
locomotion, and all facilitate maximum physical and emotional
From an emotional perspective, attachment is the creation of a
mutual bond in which the mother shapes infant development through
her interactions and relationship with her child.1
Babies, who are not born with the ability to decode and decipher
meanings and emotions, rely on the mother to help them navigate
the world, both internal and external.2
This relationship allows for the formation of "internal
working models" that function as scripts or templates, by
which babies can then gauge their own emotions and those of
As the baby begins to create these internal working models, the
mother acts as a "secure base" that is used for
exploration, learning, and developing the necessary skills of
self-protection and intimacy.3
Children consequently develop and display distinct attachment
styles, which are loosely defined as either "secure" or
"insecure." Insecure styles are hallmarked by features
of instability, including ambivalent behavior, preoccupation,
avoidant responses, and a lack of cooperative communication in the
mother-child pair. Secure attachments, on the other hand, show a
child consistently connected to the mother, with a firmly
established sense of trust and an unwavering nurturing response.1
The development of a secure or insecure pattern is dependent on
the mother's attachment to the baby and whether there is
attunement in this dyad. In other words, it is the mother's
interaction with the baby, and the interplay between that
interaction and the baby's needs, that define a child's style of
relating. These emotional bonds develop rapidly in infants, and
are critical to both infant development and the trajectory of
events later in life.4
Bowlby approached the study of attachment as a science and
included many different disciplines in his approach, including
general systems theory, evolutionary theory, ethology (behavioral
biology), and descriptive studies of children interacting with
caregivers.2 In each aspect of
his research, one fact became overwhelmingly clear: attachment is
a biological necessity.1 At each
developmental point, the infant must have a close attachment with
a consistent caregiver to ensure protection in the face of both
internal changes and environmental stimuli. Attachment is, quite
simply, a key to survival.
This theory of attachment has served as the underpinning of
parenting experts such as William Sears, MD and the entire modern
movement now termed "attachment parenting." While not
yet mainstream in our Western society, these resources offer
important and thoughtful guidance and reassurance to families
seeking to parent in a fully conscious and sensitive manner.
Unfortunately, the attachment-parenting baby books and information
available are often reduced to a list of practical methods, such
as on-cue breastfeeding and wearing your baby. They give sound
advice but provide little theory, and even less scientific data,
to support the methods described. Additionally, these experts
often do not give advice for raising children past the age of two,
just when many of the most difficult and confusing aspects of
attachment come into play.
In our society, attachment parenting is seen as just another of
an array of parenting options, and is typically viewed as the most
difficult and least appealing choice. What is missing is the
science that modern assessment methods and technology can offer.
Now, with the ability to study the intricacies of the brain and
its functioning on a cellular level, science can deliver
conclusive data to back up each aspect of Bowlby's comprehensive
theory, and then some. The data are powerful and offer what no
other parenting model puts forward: unbiased and testable
information about the workings of the infant brain and the effects
of both stress and health on brain development.
From late pregnancy through the second year of life, the human
brain experiences a critical period of accelerated growth. This
process consumes higher amounts of energy than any other stage in
the lifespan, and requires not only sufficient nutrients but
optimal interpersonal experiences for maximal maturation.5
During this period, the focus is on right-brain development. The
right brain is deeply connected to both the sympathetic and
parasympathetic nervous systems, which control vital functions
that support survival and cope with stress, as well as the limbic
system of the brain, which includes the hippocampus and amygdala.6
The limbic system is the neurological seat of emotions; the
hippocampus and amygdala are closely tied to memory and the
regulation of emotions, including aggression.7
The human cerebral cortex adds 70 percent of its mass after
birth and grows to 90% of its adult size in the first three years
of life.8 Consequently, the
expanding brain is directly influenced by its environment, thus
creating an interplay between biology and social environment.9
With the help of neuroscience and sophisticated use of
technologies such as EEG, PET, and MRI, we are now able to see
just how this interplay looks. What has emerged is mounting
evidence that stress and trauma impair optimal brain development
while healthy attachment promotes it.6,
Just what is stress to an infant? And what is healthy
attachment? We now have answers to these questions as well.
Babies, we know, cannot survive on their own. All basic needs must
be met through a relationship with a caregiver. What this new
research tells us, however, is that these needs go far beyond the
simple ones of food and sleep, and are intimately tied to the
emotional world. Leading the way in integrating the mass amounts
of data and compiling them into new theories and explanations is
Dr. Allan Schore, a psychologist at the UCLA School of Medicine.
Schore takes us into the world of psychobiology, the intersection
of the genetically encoded biological temperament, and the nature
of the caregiving experience.
In psychobiological terms, babies are unable to regulate
themselves. Despite being born with the capacity for feeling deep
emotions, babies are unable to keep themselves in a state of
equilibrium, lacking the skills to regulate either the intensity
or the duration of those emotions.6
Without the assistance and monitoring of a caregiver, babies
become overwhelmed by their emotional states, including those of
fear, excitement, and sadness.11
In order to maintain emotional equilibrium, babies require a
consistent and committed relationship with one caring person. As
you might expect, the research indicates that the person best
suited for this relationship is the mother.1
What is fascinating about the mother-baby dyad is that, like
the biology-environment interplay, it is a synchronized system.12
The mother tunes to her baby's internal states and responds, which
produces a response in the mother, which further fuels the system.
One is not independent of the other, and each has a profound
effect on the next response. This dyad is the key to healthy
development for the baby.13 As
Bowlby believed, the mother must achieve attunement with her baby
to create healthy attachment. Thus, healthy attachment is simply
the development of that attuned relationship.
Attunement, in the simplest terms, means following baby's cues.
Babies have their own spontaneous expressions of themselves. When
you pay attention to these expressions you communicate that you
understand what they are doing, feeling, and even thinking.14
This assists brain development and creates a foundation for the
negotiation of all social interactions. When the mother-baby dyad
is in attunement, both will experience positive emotions. If out
of sync, the baby will show signs of stress, such as crying, that
indicate the need for re-attunement.10
To a baby, stress is anything that pulls it out of attunement
and into a negative emotional state. Events that cause such
painful emotions as fear, anxiety, and sadness create stress. This
includes everything from short, unwanted separations from the
mother to the extreme of abuse. It is also important to note that
stress to an infant is not limited to negatively charged events,
but also includes anything new or different. New situations create
stress for babies because they have no prior experience of them.
Attunement of the mother-child pair in stressful situations
creates the self-regulation that babies do not inherently possess.
When babies are in balance, they are emotionally regulated, and
rely on the relationship with their mother to keep disregulation
at bay.10 For example, if a
mother sets her baby down to answer the phone and the baby begins
to cry, the baby requires the mother's return and re-attunement in
order to avoid becoming overwhelmed by sadness. Without this
assistance, the crying intensifies and leads to a chain of
internal reactions that put the baby in a survival mode. In a
survival mode, the baby operates at the most primary level, forced
to dedicate all resources to the basic functions necessary for
existence, thus forfeiting opportunity for potential growth.
This chain of events is a cycle of hyperarousal and
dissociation that begins when the baby becomes distressed.15
The initial stage is one of hyperarousal - the "startle"
reaction to a threat. This engages the sympathetic nervous system,
which increases the heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration.
Distress at this stage is usually expressed by crying, which will
progress to screaming. The brain attempts to mediate this by
increasing levels of major stress hormones, elevating the brain's
levels of adrenaline, noradrenaline, and dopamine. This triggers a
hypermetabolic state in the developing brain.16
Stress hormones are protective mechanisms intended to be used only
for short periods of time, to assist the body in surviving a
dangerous situation. Prolonged periods spent in this state are
damaging. Additionally, prolonged exposure to stress induces
increased levels of thyroid hormones and vasopressin.17
Vasopressin, a hypothalamic neuropeptide, is activated in response
to an unsafe or challenging environment.7
It is also associated with nausea and vomiting, which may explain
why many babies throw up after extended crying.18
The second, later-forming reaction to stress is dissociation.
At this point, the child disengages from the external world's
stimuli and retreats to an internal world. This reaction involves
numbing, avoidance, compliance, and lack of reaction.7
This second stage occurs in the face of a stressful situation in
which the baby feels hopeless and helpless.17
The infant tries to repair the disequilibrium and misattunement
but cannot, and so disengages, becomes inhibited, and strives to
avoid attention, to become "unseen."17
This metabolic shutting-down is a passive state in response to an
unbearable situation, and is the opposite of hyperarousal. In
biological and evolutionary terms, it is the same process that
allows us to retreat from overwhelming situations to heal wounds
and fill depleted resources. However, as a response to dyadic
misattunement, it is devastating, and the effects of even short
periods of dissociation are profound.19
In this state, pain-numbing endogenous opiates and
behavior-inhibiting stress hormones such as cortisol are elevated.
Blood pressure decreases, as does the heart rate, despite the
This ultimate survival strategy allows the baby to maintain basic
When babies are in distress, their brains are at the mercy of
these states. This means that all of their regulatory resources
must be devoted to trying to reorganize and regain equilibrium.19
These kind of biochemical alterations in the rapidly developing
right brain have long-lasting effects. In the infant, states
become traits, so the effects of such early relational traumas
become part of the structure of the forming personality.15
This is all occurring at a period of time when the brain is at its
maximum vulnerability to influences and stimuli affecting growth
and development.10 While this
stress reaction is going on, the infant brain cannot develop in
other ways, and thus forfeits potential opportunities for learning
at the critical period of brain development.6
Chronic shifts into this cycle can cause impaired brain
development and atrophy.21
Another largely misunderstood and overlooked aspect of
attachment theory and research is the role of attachment and
attunement in the older child. Contrary to popular cultural
beliefs, close attachment to the mother remains crucially
important to children through the toddler and early childhood
As with infants, this attachment is adaptive and serves to ensure
the child's survival and socialization. While the needs shift, the
attachment remains key. In toddlerhood, children make great
strides in physical ability and locomotion but are still at an
early point in the development of necessary self-protective
skills. As the child grows, he becomes more autonomous and
self-reliant, but remains vulnerable to a wide range of dangers.
Thus, attachment behaviors, such as seeking proximity to mother,
evincing anxiety when mother moves away, and protesting separation
are adaptive mechanisms, not regressive ones.
This adaptive pattern is largely unappreciated by our Western
culture and is unfortunately and wrongly labeled
"controlling," "attention-seeking," or
"spoiling." Multiple studies have found that
two-year-olds maintain as much, if not more, closeness to their
mothers as their one-year-old counterparts.2
Additionally, even by their third birthday, most children evince
distress at being left alone even for brief periods.22
Research suggests that, by the age of four, most children are
increasingly comfortable with separations and have less of a need
for contact and proximity to their caregiver to maintain a sense
As children continue to age and develop,
their needs evolve but their reliance on the attachment system
endures. Even adolescence, often viewed as the pinnacle of
developmental challenges, has its focus in attachment. Adolescents
struggle with the tension between their connection to family and
their formation of independence. The foundation built in the early
years is the groundwork for this phase of life; if the attachment
is secure and established, child and parents can negotiate the
events of adolescence with little struggle.
||What is also highlighted in the research is
the importance of nonmaternal caregivers in the child's life.
While the mother-child dyad maintains primacy because of its
psychobiological underpinnings in survival and optimal
development, the child cultivates an array of "affectional
that include, most important, the father or partner, as well as
other members of the network of close family and friends.
Attunement in each of these relationships is intensely important
because the child is always taking in new information and being
shaped by the world.10 Just as
the mother's role is to assist in the child's development, so is
the role of every other primary person in the child's life. While
attachment theory centers on a primary figure, typically the
mother, as the bedrock of the child's health and wellbeing, this
does not occur in a vacuum, nor to the exclusion of fathers and
partners. Often, in the progression of infant development, the
initial role of fathers focuses on support of the mother in her
attempt to care for their baby. But it does not stop there. As the
baby gains in abilities, the father becomes more central, and his
role often evolves into the safe launching point for the child's
accelerated forays into the external world. In the implementation
of attachment theory, the baby is connected to the mother and
embraced by the support of many people who influence growth and
development differently at each unique stage.
|What does all this mean? Healthy
attachment via healthy attunement is the key to healthy babies,
and healthy babies are the key to healthy adults. However, while
the research may be illuminating, it can also sound frightening.
It is crucial to remember that the mother-baby dyad is a mutual
system. No system functions flawlessly all of the time; each of us
will be faced with times when we are out of sync, or in emotional
disregulation, with our babies. The good news is that these
periods of misattunement, as long as they are brief and not
chronic, appear to be a positive thing. Because the baby is
learning self-regulation, short periods of misattunement followed
by re-attunement have the effect of teaching resilience. Further,
it is speculated that such interactive repair may also be the
underpinning of empathy.14 This
cannot be overlooked-it is vital to understanding brain
development and to creating realistic parenting expectations. Long
periods of disequilibrium, or consistent and repeated short
exposures, however, are not beneficial. The long-term effects of
such environments are as disheartening as the short-term stress
reaction. Research now directly links the early experiences
discussed with a predisposition to mental illness of all kinds and
impaired functioning over a lifespan.6
As you can imagine, if a person cannot regulate her or his
emotions and is easily overwhelmed by stressful events, healthy
coping is unlikely and illness easily sets in.
Yet another body of hopeful research also exists. There is
expanding and exciting study on the impact of positive emotional
and play states in the mother-child relationship. This research
shows that the capacity to create joy, elation, interest, and
excitement together with your baby is a key to early healthy
development and lifelong physical and mental health. Thus, the
focus is not just on the negative impact of stress and the
importance of stress avoidance, but also recognizes the central
importance of happiness and joy. The child attaches to the
regulating mother, who helps maximize opportunity for positive
emotions and minimize opportunity for negative emotions, thus
creating optimal health.14
What this means for parents raising children in today's world
is sweeping. We need cultural changes - changes in expectation, in
our view of parents, in our definitions of feminism and
masculinity, in our economic systems and medical understandings.
In its broader applications, attachment theory requires us to
rethink most of what our society has taught us. We must let go of
old learning and erroneous information in order to re-attune to
our own connective instincts. While this cannot be accomplished
quickly, what we can do is apply this new knowledge to our own
Sources that advise the use of formula, bottles, and feeding
schedules when on-cue breastfeeding is possible can be dismissed.
The understanding of breastfeeding as an attachment behavior that
not only meets the nutritional and emotional needs of children but
helps to fortify the mother-baby dyad is clear. Bowlby himself saw
the dual purpose of breastfeeding and viewed the attachment as
Equally compelling is the impact of the visual connection
facilitated by nursing. At about eight weeks of age, a baby's
vision improves, and these early visual experiences play an
important role in development. The mother's emotionally expressive
face is the most potent visual stimulus a baby encounters.24
The creation of an intense mutual gaze causes endorphin levels to
rise in the baby's brain, producing feelings of joy. This
emotional circuit causes the mother's endorphin levels to rise in
turn, resulting in an emotional synchronization.10
Additionally, the skin contact in breastfeeding, and in
baby-holding and -wearing in general, assists in this process.
Cosleeping is another important extension of attachment theory.
Because of mother-baby proximity, cosleeping allows for a quick
response to disequilibrium. Firmly established regulatory aspects
of bed-sharing parallel and echo the self-regulatory learning
taking place within the attachment framework. As the work of Dr.
James McKenna illustrates (see Mothering, no. 114), cosleeping
holds key benefits for infant development and survival.
Perhaps most important, behavior-based techniques of child
raising, such as sleep training, must be shunned. Given the new
body of sophisticated, cross-discipline research on attachment and
brain development outlined in this article, it is clear that a
baby's willingness to accept sleep training after reportedly brief
periods of protest is no less than a cycle of hyperarousal and
dissociation responses that is damaging to its development. To
think that since the infant has passively accepted the new sleep
system, the sleep training is thus "successful," is to
misunderstand the workings of the infant brain. No longer can we
accept the conventional wisdom that babies are merely
"exercising their lungs" when they cry; nor can we
tolerate interpretations of babies' cries as
"manipulation." Babies cry to signal distress and in
effort to engage caregivers to help meet their needs and foster
their healthy development. It is an attempt at communication, not
manipulation. Their goals are survival and optimal development.
This is achieved through secure attachment.
Perhaps the most difficult application of attachment theory
lies in our own childhoods. Most of us were not raised within the
attachment paradigm. We may worry about the choices we have made
with our children, or the implications of our own childhoods on
our current lives. While the period of rapid brain growth that
occurs in the early years is the most vulnerable time, it is not
the only time in which brain development can be altered. The brain
is a flexible and complex organ that is always capable of new
learning. The acceptance, belief, and practice of attachment
parenting can be a healing experience for the parent while
creating the best possible environment for the child. In the words
of Gandhi, "You must be the change you wish to see in the
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of Attachment (New York: Guilford Press, 1999): 44-67.
3. M. Ainsworth, Infancy in Uganda: Infant Care and the Growth
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6. A. N. Schore, "The Effects of Early Relational Trauma on
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12. R. Feldman, et al., "Relations Between Cyclicity and
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14. R. Carroll, UK Council for Psychotherapy, "An Interview
with Allan Schore: 'The American Bowlby' " (conducted by telephone),
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Become 'Traits'," Infant Mental Health Journal 16 (1995): 271-291.
16. M. R. Brown, "Corticotropin-releasing Factor: Actions on
the Sympathetic Nervous System and Metabolism," Endocrinology 111
17. A. N. Schore, Affect Regulation and the Origin of the Self:
The Neurobiology of Emotional Development (Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence
18. B. Beebe, "Coconstructing Mother-Infant Distress: The
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Face-to-Face Encounter," Psychoanalytic Inquiry 20 (2000): 214-440.
19. E. Z. Tronick and M. K. Weinberg, "Depressed Mothers and
Infants: Failure to Form Dyadic States of Consciousness," in L.
Murray and P. J. Cooper (eds.), Postpartum Depression in Child
Development (New York: Guilford Press, 1997): 54-81.
20. S. W. Porges, "Emotion: An Evolutionary By-product of the
Neural Regulation of the Autonomic Nervous System," Annals of the New
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21. B. S. McEwen, "The Neurobiology of Stress: From
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22. J. Bowlby, Attachment and Loss 2: Separation: Anxiety
and Anger (New York: Basic Books, 1973).
23. R. S. Marvin, "An Ethological-Cognitive Model for the
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This article originally appeared in Mothering,
Issue 119, July/August 2003. Reprinted and adapted with permission of the
Lauren Porter, BA, MSW, is a former clinical
social worker and the mother of one daughter. She is the founder and
co-Director of the New Zealand Centre for Attachment. © Lauren Porter.
Reprinted with permission.