This is a very strange time in all of our lives. We all have our own anxieties and worries about what the coronavirus will mean and little people are no different.
They have less ability to contextualise the news or current events.
If you’re wondering how to talk to your children about what is going on at the moment we brought together some tips to help give you some strategies for explaining what is going on.
Some children will have heard about COVID-19 from their school or from peers, younger children may be unaware.
It’s important to address all the questions and concerns in an age-appropriate way. But at the same time children don’t need all the details.
Check in with your own emotions
How you’re feeling about the current situation will impact the way your child interprets it. Try to find a time when you feel calm and you have explored your own anxieties with another adult before you speak to children.
Managing your own anxieties is really important so that we are in a position to help our children.
What do they know?
You could start by asking what they have heard about it.
School-aged children may have heard rumours or speculations about what happens to you if you get the virus or what will happen to the country if we go into lockdown.
- Answer their questions with facts
- Don’t worry if you don’t know the answers to everything
- Try to take the emotion out of it, to present them with simplified statements
- Filter the news to give information that they might need, without overwhelming them
- Look out for ideas that might lead to their imagination running wild
What do they need to know?
Be honest with your kids about what is happening, e.g. ‘it’s a virus that makes people ill, so we’re all staying home more to slow down the spread of it’
Avoid going over the numbers of cases, or the numbers of deaths, as well as potentially scary future consequences of Corona virus.
Children will pick up on a lot of what they overhear so avoid talking about those things in front of them as well as directly to them.
- They don’t need to know everything that might happen if even we don’t know
- Explain why you’re not able to see grandparents / immunocompromised friends etc
- Explain symptoms of the virus, and link to another time they may have had a cold or flu if appropriate
Acknowledge their emotions
If they are scared it can be helpful to say it’s understandable that they have these worries.
They may have been told by another child that everyone who gets it dies, or we’re all going to run out of food.
If they are angry about the change of plans, or missing trips away, or not getting to see their friends for a while just acknowledging that we’re all having to make changes.
It can be very disappointing to miss out on events that we’ve all looked forward to.
Discussing change of routine
As children will now be missing school you may be worrying about how you’re going to fill the days, how you’re going to find time for yourself and whether they will fall behind in their schooling with all this time off.
- Try to frame this change in a positive way
- Think about the time that you can spend together, and what you’ll learn about them
- Create a rhythm to your day, but don’t over schedule their time
- Allow space for play, quiet reading and fun
Try to avoid talking in front of them about how you’re dreading having them at home for the next few months.
Find another outlet for this emotion, either online or with a friend. It’s so understandable to rage against situations changing against our will, being out of control, or fear that you’re not enough for your children.
Your children may feel more anxious if they hear you telling a friend, so think about what they can overhear.
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