As good friends, we would always want to know ‘what’s up’ with our friends not because we like to eavesdrop but because we’re mainly concerned about their well-being. This is especially true if we’ve been recently noticing patterns of unusual behavior that might be caused by a specific mental illness like depression.
Noticing The Risk Factors
Depression is triggered by a lot of factors in a person’s life. If you are aware that your friend has the following predisposing factors, you, therefore, have to be very observant for signs of depression:
- A family history of depression
- Dealt with emotional and physical abuse
- Experienced loss or death of a loved one
- Struggling with personal turmoil or conflict with relationships
- Going through changes in life which include divorce, unemployment, retirement, pregnancy, and marriage
- History of substance or alcohol abuse
- Taking medications for a pre-existing illness
Identifying Depressive Cues
More often than not, people with depression would rather keep the condition to themselves rather than bothering the people around them with their struggles due to the ideation that they won’t understand or would just turn a deaf ear or a blind eye. When “I’m okay” or “I’m fine” just won’t cut it, and the words sound distasteful coming from a friend who’s apparently suffering from depression, here are some verbal cues to immediately suspect if your friend needs help.
- “I Don’t Feel Like Going Out.”
At the end of a long day at work, your co-workers asked if you and your friend want to join them to hang out at a specific place, but then your friend immediately declined and said that she’s tired and just wants to go home. The decline in socializing is one of the leading signs of depression. Sometimes, this just means that your friend just wants to be left alone in the comforts of her home where she feels secured and at ease.
- “I Don’t Feel In Control.”
When your friend tells you that he feels chained and trapped with no hopes of seeing it through, he is most likely having episodes of depression. The utterance of such words should prompt you that your friend needs someone who attentively listens, who they can vent to without judgment. Ask him what ignited his feelings. Never throw in unsolicited advice. Sometimes, people just need someone who listens.
- “Just Text Me.”
Don’t insist on calling because that might trigger your friend’s anxiety that could lead to a profound mood, causing depressive symptoms. Anxious, depressed people are not keen on talking on the phone because they find it difficult to express what they feel due to the nervousness of being caught off-guard. It is easier for people who are depressed to chat through social media applications than engage in a one-on-one conversation through video calling, which is worse than a phone call.
- “Can You Please Wake Me Up?”
Sometimes, you would wonder if your friend is just too lazy to set his alarm and get up once it goes on. However, what you have to keep in mind is that one of the critical cues of depression is being spiritless upon waking up. The person usually doesn’t want to get out of bed and just wants to sleep in with no interest in eating or doing self-care whatsoever. When your friend asks you this favor, it is in your best interest to eagerly agree because your friend trusts you enough to give that extra push to get up and face life’s challenges.
- “Can You Please Call My Therapist?”
People with depression often miss their appointments with their therapists because they feel uneasy making that one phone call; this is an enormous barrier to your friend’s process of recovery. Always be kind enough to make your friend’s appointments. And if you’re feeling extra gracious, with your friend’s permission, you can go with her to see the therapist as a sign of support. People who are depressed significantly benefit from having some company to make them feel less lonely.
“I’m okay,” is a generic answer that usually has a deeper meaning to it; these phrases are both deceiving and unnerving because they mask someone’s real emotional and mental well-being. Friends, as support systems, are significant in the treatment of depression. Therefore, being equipped with the knowledge on how to know if your friends are experiencing the condition is beneficial in helping them cope and manage their depressive episodes.