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The power of prevention
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Sometimes, when you’re thinking through the causes of your child’s misbehavior, you realize that your child was somehow set up for failure, and that preventative measures could have been taken to avoid the misbehavior. In that case, a consequence might not be appropriate, but the misbehavior could be a signal to you that systems need to be put in place to help your child succeed the next time.
Pay attention to patterns. Does your child have trouble behaving when she’s tired, hungry, dehydrated, overstimulated and so on. If so, how can you set her up for success?
Many kids suffer from dehydration, which can lead to crankiness and other behavior problems. The rule of thumb for staying hydrated is to drink half your body weight in ounces of water per day. This is true for adults and children. And if your are sweating or doing physical activity, you need even more.
An 80-pound child, for example, needs 40 ounces of water a day if he’s not sweating. That would mean four 10-ounce glasses! People tell us all the time that their kids drink plenty of water without any prompting, but we have found that is usually not the case. Most kids won’t opt to drink four 10-ounce glasses in a day. Consider having two distinct water breaks in the day when your child sits down to drink a large glass of water and also serving water with meals.
If your child is thirsty, she may already be dehydrated, and dehydration can cause kids to misbehave.
Transitioning from one activity to another or one place to another can be challenging for some kids, especially toddlers and pre-schoolers. If your child often misbehaves during transitions, put measures in place to prepare your child for the transition.
An egg timer is a great tool. Pack one in your bag, and let your preschooler know you are setting it for five minutes. When the timer beeps, it’s time to go. Also create a transition routine. Consider singing a goodbye song or a clean up song when it is time to go.
Routines, in general, can help prevent misbehavior. Have consistent routines for mealtimes, bath and bedtime.
Be careful about rushing your children needlessly. Our children should not suffer because of our poor time management habits. A pre-schooler who has just learned to tie her shoes could melt down when she is rushed out the door and not allowed to practice her new skill.
Another important preventative measure is prepping our kids before we arrive someplace. Talk about what is expected of them. Explain to them what the environment will be like, who will be there, what foods they will be expected to eat, what forms of entertainment may or not be available, what they are allowed or not allowed to do, how long you will be there, etc.
When we take the time to prepare our children and make sure they are well fed, hydrated and rested, we can set them up for success.
Jenni Stahlmann and Jody Hagaman host POP Parenting, a one-hour weekly talk radio show in Sarasota, Fla. For more information, go to www.jenniand jody.com, visit the Jenni and Jody Facebook page or follow them on Twitter @JenniandJody.