By Chris Hendrickson, Special to the Monitor
For parents, dealing with sibling rivalry, the terrible twos, and kids who won’t eat anything green might sound like an ordeal instead of an occasion for joy.
But raising disciplined kids doesn’t have to be a grim struggle. Rather, it can be a positive experience for both parent and child, says Sky Valley teacher and parenting expert Casey O’Roarty.
And this weekend, she kicks of a seven-week course through the YMCA called Joyful Courage, in which she will help other parents learn how to raise kids whose behavior reflects that they are happy, healthy and secure.
“Courage is the motion we take in the direction of being our best selves,” said O’Roarty.
In order to help children become their best selves, O’Roarty utilizes a method called Positive Discipline to teach parents how to encourage their children in a deliberate way.
“It’s about parenting from the heart, not parenting from the hip,” said O’Roarty.
The married mother-of-two was an elementary school teacher in Index for five years, and then decided to switch gears as she became interested in working with parents.
She became interested in the Positive Discipline method of parenting, which has roots a century old.
The current practice of Positive Discipline grew from ideas developed by Austrian medical doctor and psychotherapist Alfred Adler, a colleague of Sigmund Freud. In 1912 Adler established the Society of Individual Psychology, which placed great importance on understanding and overcoming feelings of inferiority.
American psychologist Rudolf Dreikurs, a student of Adler’s, expanded on this school of thought, studying ways to encourage cooperative behavior in children. In 1952, Dreikurs founded the Adler School of Professional Psychology in Chicago.
In his book, Children: The Challenge, Dreikurs said, “A misbehaving child is a discouraged child.”
It’s upon this foundation that the current structure of Positive Discipline, cultivated by Jane Nelson, Ed.D., was built. The instruction helps parents to learn the fine balance between being a supportive and encouraging role model and extending that support too far into pampering. The goal is to help children feel significant, capable, respected and connected with themselves and their surroundings.
The philosophies of Positive Discipline eschew traditional modes of rewards and punishment, focusing instead on encouragement and inspiring personal power in children.
O’Roarty became a certified Positive Discipline facilitator in 2007, and taught her first course in her living room.
“There were eight other moms and toddlers at our feet,” she recalls.
O’Roarty’s program quickly outgrew her living room. Continuing to broaden her own education, in November of 2012 O’Roarty obtained the advanced training required to become a Positive Discipline Trainer, enabling her to instruct teachers as well as parents in the principals of Positive Discipline.
O’Roarty is currently the parent educator for the Sky Valley Co-op preschool in Sultan, and through her business, Joyful Courage, she shares the guidelines of Positive Discipline in her classes and seminars.
Her ongoing Sultan course includes 43 parents, some from as far away as Skykomish and Bothell, and 22 elementary school teachers from the Northshore School District are enrolled in her workshop called Positive Discipline in the Classroom.
The training is highly interactive, encouraging parents to open up and participate in the instruction. O’Roarty finds great value in the group dynamic, and feels that it helps parents to realize that they are not alone. People find that they are struggling with similar issues and are able to work together and bond through sharing their experiences.
“People leave feeling very hopeful and empowered,” said O’Roarty, who also has a bachelor’s degree in sociology from the University of Arizona and a master’s degree in education from the University of Washington. “Everybody who takes the class will walk away with something.”
O’Roarty wants to invite all parents to take her class, not only those who are experiencing troubling behavioral issues with their children.
“It’s really important for parents to realize that they shouldn’t feel like they are a bad parent for becoming involved in a parenting class. It’s all about being better. We can all be better,” she stated.
O’Roarty is offering her Parenting by Positive Discipline course at the Monroe/Sky Valley Family YMCA beginning this weekend. The seven-week series will take place every Saturday from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m., starting Feb. 9, and running through March 23. Cost for YMCA members is $75 per person, and $100 for non-members. The Y offers on-site childcare for participants of the class. O’Roarty’s course is targeted towards parents whose children are age 12 and under.
For more information on O’Roarty’s business, Joyful Courage, and to read about her own experiences using positive discipline with her children ages 7 and 10, visit http://www.joyfulcourage.com/.
The Monroe/SkyValley Family YMCA is located at 14033 Fryelands Blvd. in Monroe.