The cassowary -- perhaps the scariest bird in the world. If you're already familiar with the cassowary, congratulations. You know to be on your guard. If not, read on.
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The first thing to note is the sheer size of a cassowary. These monster birds are roughly six feet tall -- though some females can be as tall as 6'6". They weigh in around 130 pounds. Not that that slows them down at all...
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Cassowaries can't fly, but they can run as quickly as 31 mph through dense forest. How fast can you run through jungle? Doesn't matter. The cassowary already leapt five feet into the air and caught you.
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Reminds us of another 6-foot, fast-running, high-jumping animal. What was its name...? Oh right, velociraptor.
If birds evolved from dinosaurs, the cassowary might be the least-evolved bird on the planet. Seriously, this thing is basically half dinosaur.
The proper term for the hard, featherless protrusion on the cassowary's head is a casque. But you can't convince us it's anything other than a straight up dinosaur spike.
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Did we mention the velociraptor-like claws? A cassowary sports 5-inch daggers on each of its powerful feet. Ornithologist Thomas E. Gilliard described it as, "A long, straight, murderous nail which can sever an arm or eviscerate an abdomen with ease."
"But wait," you're saying. "Cassowaries don't attack humans!" Tell that to the 150 reported victims of cassowary attacks in Queensland, Australia.
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Now would be a good time to mention cassowaries live primarily in Australia and New Guinea. Not that you shouldn't always be aware of cassowaries.
Because they're aware of you.
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Death by cassowary? Outdoor Magazine lists it as one of their most terrifying ways to die in the wild. Fortunately, no human has been killed by a cassowary since 1926. This is most likely due to a reduced cassowary population, fewer farmers in Australia, and improved safety precautions. Though the question must be asked: Are we safer? Or just overdue for another attack?
Reports of cassowaries the size of cars remain unconfirmed.
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They're huge. They're deadly. They're quite nearly modern-day dinosaurs. The cassowary can only be described as a terminator bird.
Baby cassowaries are kind of cute, though.
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