Helping People Who Are Abusive
While it can be hard to confront a friend who is being abusive, it’s important to stand up to stop abuse from happening in our schools, communities, and lives. Below is a list of ways that you can help someone who is being abusive.
- Let them know that their behavior is not okay.
- Tell them what is abusive – be specific (use the list of red flags and harmful behavior).
- Ask them lots of questions to make them think about their actions
Examples of questions to ask:
- Why did the incident happen?
- What did you want to happen?
- How do you think the other dating partner felt after you___?
- Do you believe you have the right to make choices for your dating partner?
- Do you think your dating partner is afraid of you?
- Can you think of a respectful way to handle the situation instead?
- Let them know that they do have the ability to control their responses to anger, frustration, and pain.
- Help them see what will happen as a result of their violence.
- Their partner will be afraid of them.
- Their partner won’t trust them, and they won’t trust their partner.
- Their partner may leave them.
6. Support them in getting help and trying to change (use community and personal resources).