Toddlers are at an age where they know and understand basic language but are still unable to communicate effectively. That often can lead to frustration and tantrums. In addition, children of this age (12 months to around 4) are mobile, curious, and determined to have their way. Knowing how to raise a well behaved toddler is a skill for which most parents strive in order to keep their child safe and happy, and to maintain a reasonable degree of calm in their own lives.
1Maintain your self-control in order to re-establish your child's.
- Hitting or spanking your toddler, especially combined with an outburst of anger toward your child, teaches that hitting is a way to solve problems.
- Try to take advantage of breaks from your child so that you are able to relax and get a fresh perspective. Taking care of a toddler can be exhausting. Find a parent group or ask a relative or friend to fill in occasionally. Even going for a quick walk or trip to the store while your partner watches the child can help.
2Ensure your toddler gets enough sleep.
- The average toddler needs between 10 and 13 hours of sleep daily. Most benefit from a two-hour afternoon nap. Overly tired children will act out and become difficult to handle.
- Establish a bedtime routine and try not to deviate from it. Children will find numerous ways to postpone going to sleep. Stick to your established routine as much as possible.
3Reward your toddler for any good behavior he exhibits.
- Try to make following the rules fun for you both. Make a game of it and praise your toddler excessively when he does something positive.
- Reinforce the idea that good behavior gets positive consequences while poor behavior does not. If he behaves well at the store, he gets a small toy and lots of praise. If he misbehaves, he doesn't. Make positive consequences for good behavior more significant than punishment for bad behavior.
4Distract your toddler when he does something you think is dangerous or undesirable.
- Use music or play to redirect his behavior. Lead him into another type of activity.
- If this does not work, remove the toddler from the situation, firmly telling him "no." Take away objects that could harm him or get broken.
5Remain as consistent as possible.
- Don't change nap times or reward or ignore poor behavior. You cannot be perfect, but consistency is the key to establishing good behavior in your toddler.
6Expect age-appropriate behavior.
- You cannot expect a 2-year-old to behave like a 10-year-old. Know what is considered normal behavior for toddlers. Demanding that your toddler remains quiet during a 2-hour concert, for instance, is unreasonable.
7Show affection even when disciplining your toddler.
- Assure him with your words and actions that you love him even when he is behaving badly. Never tell him he is "bad" or use abusive language. Remain firm and in control when disciplining him, but let your toddler know he is safe and loved at all times.
8Anticipate poor behavior and be ready to deal with it.
- When you are off your normal routine, look for ways to keep your child from becoming too tired or anxious. If your child is ill or hungry, he may act out. Be prepared and find ways to keep the situation from getting out of hand.
9Coordinate your methods of handling your toddler with his other caretakers so there will be as much consistency in your toddler's life as possible. Discuss discipline, nap time and daily routines with your daycare or babysitter.
- You may build your home schedule around that of the daycare, for instance, since it is easier for you to adapt to their routine rather than expecting them to conform to yours. If children are given naps from 1-3 p.m., for example, attempt to continue this nap time at home.
- Be sure that the childcare workers who deal with your child share your methods of discipline and have similar goals and expectations for your toddler's behavior. Communicate frequently with them so you know what is going on when you are not there.
10Practice good manners at home.
- Children are exceptional imitators. Be sure the rest of the family observes polite behavior such as saying "please" and "thank-you". Expect your toddler to use those phrases as well.
11Make the act of sharing into a game. Share items with your toddler to teach him that sharing is an important social skill.
- While having the occasional squabble over toys is a natural part of growing up, try to teach your child that it's more satisfying to give and share than to get and keep everything you see.
My grandson goes into fits of rage whenever we get ready to leave the park. How do I handle this kind of behavior?
How can I stop a toddler from demanding things?You must make your toddler know who's in charge. Don't be too harsh and don't be too soft. Don't go into the habit of bribing or making deals with your toddler. Stand by your decisions, and don't let your toddler feel that he/she can negotiate with you until they can get what they want.
How do I get my child to eat and nap when they don't like it?Try turning it into a game. Say that eating brings rewards and that naps do the same. Of course, do not let down your child by not giving them the reward, but don't go overboard with the rewards or they will always feel entitled to them when they really should be learning to do these things without them. Do not make it obvious that you are trying to get your child to sleep or they will refuse.
- Seek expert advice if your child's behavior seems to be out of control. He may have a food allergy, which can cause behavioral outbursts, or another medical or developmental condition.
- Find a parenting class for yourself if you are unable to deal with your toddler's behavior issues calmly and rationally.