Wisdom for Listening in the New Month
Today is Erev Rosh Chodesh Menachem Av – also known as Yom Kippur Katan, the monthly time set aside for reflection and teshuva to boost the atoning and renewing power of Rosh Chodesh.
The quality of hearing is the Tikkun for the month of Av. Tammuz and Av are the months that the Biblical spies went on their mission in the Land of Israel and returned and gave a negative report. Thus, sight is the quality for Tammuz because we make a tikkun on the fearful perspective through which the spies saw the land. In Av we make a tikkun on the way the people of Israel heard the report. Hearing does not just mean literally hearing words and sentences. It also implies understanding and meaning making.
What meaning did the Israelites make of the words they heard from the spies? Often the meaning we make is influenced by other things we’ve heard or experienced. In this case the Israelites heard 10 negative reports and 2 positive reports. It seems to make sense they would follow the supermajority of reports and refuse to enter the land. However, these are the same Israelites who experienced the Divine presence at Sinai and who all heard the Divine promise to bring them to the Land of Israel.
Shouldn’t that personal experience of revelation lend enough weight to the two positive reports to tip the scales in favor of entering the Land?Not if the Israelites preferred to hear a report saying the Land was too difficult to conquer. Perhaps this was a case of confirmation bias, where one only listens for data or opinions that confirm your own beliefs. It is not hard to imagine that the Israelites were frightened of the task ahead of them and preferred to live a more sheltered life, either in Egypt or in the desert. The spies provided them with the excuse to advocate for returning to Egypt.
The tikkun for this month is to raise our awareness of how we hear. Are we hearing with confirmation bias and only listening for that which aligns with our beliefs, or are we open to really hearing something that could undermine our beliefs and stances? When a friend or family member tries to communicate their troubles to us, do we hear with empathy or do we try to fix their problems as a way of not needing to feel their pain?
There are so many ways we could hear and listen with more awareness. Let’s make this month a time to practice listening and hearing with an open, vulnerable heart. It is this type of listening that leads to real connection.