How to Talk Fancy for “Talk Like Shakespeare Day”
Today is Talk Like Shakespeare Day which falls on the anniversary of the Bard's death. Shakespeare died on this date 402 years ago. I majored in English Lit and my main area of study was the plays of Shakespeare. So, you could learn how to talk like an Elizabethan from people way more knowledgeable than me but you could also do a lot worse.
Here are some easy tips you can use to talk like Will.I.Am Shakespeare.
- Add "eth" to any verb.
If it's an activity, just add "eth" to it and you're already sounding Shakespearean. You're not going to walk to Chipotle. You "shall walketh" to Chipotle. Why did people talk like this in the olden days? No one knoweth. Also, if you are surprised by something you can describe yourself as "shooketh" and sound like Hamlet AND a hipster (which he kind of was, actually).
- Don't use "it"
When talking like Shakespeare you should eschew the word "it". In "it's" place there are all kind of neat, archaic contractions you can use. "'Tis late. Should we goeth?" "No. 'Twill soon be 2 am and I want to stayeth until last call for alcohol." So "tis" instead of "it's" and "t'isn't" instead of "isn't". You know what...'twill get easier the longer thou doeth it.
Shakespeare used A LOT of vulgar language. Except, now it's hundreds of years old and SHAKESPEARE said them so we think of those vulgarities as being very fancy-shmancy. So, instead of using the "F", "S" or (God Forbidith!) the "MF" word, try something a bit more Shakespearean. Something like..."I scorn you, scurvy dog. A pox 'pon thee and thine kin. Villain, I have done thy mother!" See what I mean? That is EXTREMELY vulgar. But it sounds like literature.
- General replacement words
Here are some replacement words you can just sprinkle in.
Don't say "in a minute". Say "anon".
Don't say "before". Say " 'ere".
Don't say "cat". Say "graymalkin".
Don't say "hey!". Say "hark!".
- Add the Following words and phrases to the beginning of any sentence to make it sound more Shakespear-y
"By my beard"
" 'Od's Blood!"
- Use this website
It's an "English" to "Shakespeare" translator. It's not going to fool a Shakespearean scholar but 'twill do for one day out of the year.