This particular discussion started after a question concerning nonverbal communication. People often take for granted that most of the messages they send to others during personal conversations do not come from their speech. Tone of voice, appearance, eye contact, gestures, posture, and distance say more than your words do. People don't pay enough attention to the nonverbal cues and these cues can cause what you say to be misunderstood. There is also a strange aversion to touch, and touch is very important in human communication; especially in relationships.
"Why is it important to study nonverbal communication? How are nonverbal messages communicated in the online environment?"
Classmate A response to question:
"Studying nonverbal communication is important because people can send a variety of messages with their bodies and not realize it. Our bodies have a language that does not often match our words, and many times we can see what someone is saying just by the way they position their bodies. When going for a job interview, the interviewer can tell what kind of a worker you are by your body language. When in a relationship, your mate can tell what your thinking by the way the body is positioned or moves.
Communication is not always what we write but how we write and use the symbols as well as the emotions the symbols imply. In online communication abbreviations are used to express their feelings at the time, such as lol, brb, vs, ; ), : (. These symbols and abbreviations are used to express feelings, etc."
Classmate B to A:
"I agree; body language is an important part of nonverbal communication. Your body speaks a million words or expressions. The way a person presents themselves is the way the other people judge them. A person’s facial expressions and demeanor can speak volumes. Your post was right on point and you have mentioned some great things about nonverbal information."
My response to B:
"A form of non-verbal communication that does not get much attention is touch. Humans, by our very nature, require touch. As infants we require touch to help our mental development, physical health, and build our connection to our parents. Touch helps to build business relationships (handshakes and, depending on the culture, hugs). Touch helps to maintain personal bonds or provides reassurance; holding hands, hugs, pats on the back, firm hand on the shoulder, etc.
That is one of the major drawbacks to modern communication technology; people are less likely to physically connect. People are less likely to create new pair bonds through physical proximity. Many couples find themselves distanced because one or both individuals spend too much time communicating online rather than with each other. Important bonding time between parents and children is lost. It is not just touch that is being lost; we are also harming the ability of meeting people face-to-face."
Classmate C to Me:
While I agree that touch is a part of our humanity, I think it is a "touchy" (pun intended) area. With all of the sexual harassment issues, I don't think touch is appropriate in the work place. I don't think people dare do anything besides shake hands in the work place. A pat on the shoulder can be misconstrued and cost someone their job! I'm not saying I think this is right, I just think it's a fact of life in today's culture.
Does anyone agree?"
My response to C:
"I see your point about sexual harassment. The paranoia about accusations of inappropriate touching is on everyone’s mind, which is the reason I did not cover it in my response; I am only concerned with legitimate touch under social conditions. Fondling or groping a person against his or her will is stupid, and people should be held accountable for it.
I just find it sad that people are afraid of legitimate touch because of the litigious nature of modern society; even brushing up against someone, accidentally, in a crowded area might be enough for someone who wants to abuse the legal system. Can you believe there are parents who are unwilling to hug their children in public because they are afraid someone will misinterpret it?
We are allowing legitimate concerns to grow wildly out of control and potentially create an unnatural divide between people. A lot of people do not even want to be in close physical proximity with each other. Some people find it more convenient to do everything online to avoid other people all together. This just seems to be creating a new problem to help solve another one."
Classmate D to A:
"I completely agree with you that nonverbal communication can often tell you more about a person that if they actually spoke to you. If a person is having a bad day, they may hang their head or have a frown instead of a smile. When we see clues like this, the normal response is what's wrong? We took their nonverbal cues into consideration when they approached us, and we took what we saw as a sign they where upset. This is just one example on how being consciously aware of our body language can lower the possibility of sending the wrong message to someone when we "speak".