Routines: why they work as a behaviour management strategy
Routines work as a behaviour management strategy for many reasons.
To start with, routines help children cooperate. This is because family routines make it clear who should do what, when, in what order and how often. For example, your child is more likely to wash up after dinner if it’s their job to do it as part of your routine.
A routine can also help you plan for times and activities when children often misbehave. That’s because a routine helps children know what to expect, as well as what you expect from them. For example, a simple routine for driving might be singing together or playing ‘I spy’ or alphabet search, before your child looks at books by themselves.
You can also build routines for young children around play, meals and sleep. When children have had enough good-quality sleep, nutritious food and plenty of play, they’re more likely to behave in appropriate ways.
Routines are good for children and families in many ways. They help family life run smoothly. They help children feel safe, develop skills and build healthy habits. And they help parents feel organised, manage stress and find time for enjoyable activities.
Creating routines to help with children’s behaviour
Here are some tips to get you started with family routines as a behaviour management strategy:
- Plan routines for demanding times in the family day – for example, before and after work and school. Things often run more smoothly when you have a routine that gives everybody something to do or that keeps children busy while you get things done.
- Add some downtime into your child’s routine. This gives your child time for a sleep or rest, which can help with behaviour. It also gives your child free time to play and entertain themselves.
- Link activities together. This can help your child get through boring activities faster. It also works because doing one activity helps you remember to do the other one. For example, your child could put their laundry in the basket when they go into the bathroom to clean their teeth.
- Make limits part of the routine – for example, limits on activities like screen time. So a routine for when you’re cooking dinner might be your child does homework then watches one TV program. Or your child can play games on their device, but only between 5 and 5.30 pm.
- Explain routines to your child. Even toddlers can understand simple, consistent explanations. For example, ‘First clean teeth. Then story time with Dad’.
- Talk with children about why routines are important. For example, ‘We have dinner early on Thursdays so we can get you to gymnastics class on time’.
- Use language or ideas your child can understand to talk about your routine. For example, if your child is too young to understand time, try saying, ‘We only watch Play School’, instead of ‘We only watch half an hour of TV’.
Getting children to follow routines
So you’ve got a routine, but how do you get your child to follow it? Here are some ideas:
- Put up an illustrated poster of your routine where everyone can see it. Making the poster with your child could be fun and give you the chance to talk about the routine.
- Find ways to remind your child to follow the routine without your help. For example, put a radio alarm clock in your child’s room. The music can be a signal that it’s time to wake up, time to start getting ready for school, or time to come out of the bedroom in the morning.
- Think about whether parts of the routine can be your child’s responsibility. Your child can learn new skills and help the family by doing household chores. For example, your preschooler could set the table.
- Praise your child when they follow the routine without help. Praise works best when you tell your child exactly what you like about the behaviour. For example, ‘Thanks for getting your lunch box out of your bag. Good remembering!’
Routines don’t mean you and your family are rigid or inflexible. You’re likely to have changes to your routine – these are just part of family life.