Born with a set of genes and some hereditary characteristics and raised within the values and norms of parents, family and friends, but with parents having the biggest impact.
These first, say 10 years of a life create some kind of a border. Most of the time those are not conscious borders, they’re part of identity. The things that happen within the border are OK and accepted and things that happen outside these borders are not.
Question is, are things that happen outside these borders wrong?
No, they are different. Unfamiliar sometimes, but definitely not wrong. Everyone is raised differently. Anyone has his own borders, everyone believes their borders are the borders. And then there are people who are aware of these borders and those who are not. For those who are not, it is good to be aware of your own borders and the ones of others.
There’s three ways to handle borders:
- Accept them, it is a part of who people are
- Change your own borders
- Walk away.
In any case, make your borders rubbery and elastic.
For yourself and for others.