2 mins read – 3 Steps to Discovering Your Superpower
It is very common for people to get stuck in trying to change something that is truthfully beyond our control. Picture yourself driving a vehicle and somehow you found your way into a huge mud pit, and your wheels get stuck in deep mud. No matter how hard you press on the accelerator, the vehicle would not move, worse, you end up wasting fuel and likely getting deeper into the mud. How frustrating!
If we could be more aware of what we do have control over and what we don’t, we can focus our energy, time and attention on essentials, instead of draining our ‘fuel’ and getting nowhere. Such awareness is especially helpful during times such as this global pandemic which brings with it constant changes and uncertainties.
What is your superpower during this pandemic?
‘Power Circles’, is a method / concept that we can use to identify things within or beyond our control, and those that may cross over. Take five minutes to create your own circle of control, and learn that you can have a choice on how you perceive and respond to situations in this pandemic and the current movement restrictions.
Step 1: Start with a big circle (representing things outside of your control)
Typical ones would be behaviour of others, or government policies
As a parent navigating life in this pandemic, this could also include:
- When MCO starts and ends
- When school reopens, and if so for how long
- Will other parents and students follow the SOP set by school
- I have work deadlines to meet, and yet my child needs my guidance and support
Note: Focusing on things in this circle is disempowering. We end up feeling discouraged, frustrated, or even depressed or/and anxious and other unpleasant feelings.
Step 2: Now a medium circle (representing things you can influence)
These may be things that you cannot fully control, but yet have some impact on such as:
- I cannot ensure that my child will not get Covid-19 by going out, but I can minimise their risk by ensuring that they know and follow the SOPs
- I am unable to control the amount of work my child completes during virtual learning, but I could influence my child’s engagement in the lesson by monitoring his/her attendance and work, and trying to provide a suitable space and necessary aids for him/her
Note: If we think about it, there are many things that we can actually influence by our actions and choices, and thereby manage the degree of how affected we become.
Step 3: Finally, the smallest circle in the centre (representing things you have full control over)
Ultimately this is where things like your personal choices, decisions, and thoughts belong. You have the freedom to choose and decide on various things, including your focus and perceptions.
The pandemic is unpleasant, none of us like it – but we can choose to move our focus to the opportunities it may have brought us and be grateful for them perhaps:
- I have had more time getting to know my teenagers better, and having some 1-1 conversations with them
- I have been able to attend some international trainings, and have picked up some new skills
Note: This circle represents our superpower and is the one area we have total control over. It is very empowering and liberating to know that we have a choice on how we perceive and respond to situations.
What we now can see is that we don’t have to keep losing our temper and releasing our stress on those around us. We can choose to self-care and respect our and our family members’ boundaries. We don’t have to tolerate toxic conversations; we can choose to end it or walk away. We do not need to bear with mundane routines, we can choose to start a new hobby or a family tradition etc. How and when and if we do this very exercise is a choice! Many of our daily moments are made up of small but meaningful choices, and they present to us opportunities for change, improvement, and novelty.
As you work through your lists/ circles, avoid comparing them to others. Each individual would have his/her own unique lists as none of us are quite the same. Feel free to review your lists/ circles from time to time. Add new ones, take away ones that may become irrelevant. Maybe encourage all at home to do this exercise. Whenever you find yourself in a space of worry and frustration about something, identify which circle it would belong to, and shift your focus to the middle circle, where your superpower truly lies!
Journeying with you,
HIS School Counsellors
Adapted from Linda Menesez’ Circles of Life