I’m always looking for tools to help me parent more effectively. Recently, I was asked by the Schoolhouse Review Crew to use and review something that’s become another effective tool in understanding the way God has wired my child, and consequently, how I can interact with this boy according to his design…in ways that will enable him to continue to grow in strength, wisdom and honor.
PeopleKeys has designed a number of tools for self-discovery that parents, students and leaders can use. We were asked to review PeopleKeys’ The Children’s Profile,a personality indicator designed for children ages 9-13. If you have ever taken a personality inventory or survey, you are probably familiar with the concept; questions are asked that help categorize the way a person thinks, reacts to certain situations, expresses himself and enjoys working and interacting with others.
The Children’s Profile is an 8 ½” x 11” booklet that includes a personality survey, descriptions of the four personality styles (DISC) and how parents can interact with children of different styles or style combinations. It begins with a simple, one-page column of statements that asks the child to think about ways he reacts in different situations. Each column of answers is under a letter that connects to its corresponding personality style, D,I,S or C (keep reading for more on each of these types). Examples of these (20) statements include:
I like to: Be the leader; try new things; help others; do things right
I think rules: Need to be tested; are boring; make it safe; make it fair
I am very: Competitive; talkative; friendly; observant
I am good at: Leading; encouraging; helping; planning
When upset, I: Get angry; pout; become sad; am quiet
Children read each statement and circle the answer that they believe is most like them. Then, they total the number of answers in each column and note them on a graph. This informs the child which of the four personality styles he operates in.
“The Children’s Profile” then defines each of the 4 personality styles, as follows:
- D=Determined A person who doesn’t give up easily, likes to lead, tries hard to win.
- I=Influencing Loves people, enjoys the spotlight, happy and very involved in social activities.
- S=Steadfast Kind, patient and friendly; respectful and good listener; prefers not to lead or be in front.
- C=Conscientious Loves tasks, like to be organized, can concentrate for a long time to solve problems.
So, people can test primarily as one of these four styles, or they can be a combination of two, with one slightly higher than the other. The booklet also includes:
- Characteristics of each style
- How each style interacts with people and behaves at school
- Ways each style can grow
- Ways parents and children can grow together
- How one can best communicate with a child of each style
- And how your style, as an adult, can best interact with children of each style
I’ve found in my own life experience that personality tests, indicators and inventories can be amazing tools. However, the converse can also be true; we’d never want to use them as weapon in times of anger or frustration: “You are only saying that because you are a D (or, fill in the blank with another style)!” And, I think that even though this test is aimed at and designed for children who are ages 9-13, it may still be somewhat abstract for children on the younger side of the stated ages. I’d personally recommend that the parent and child complete the inventory together, especially if this is the first time the child has been exposed to a personality test. That way, the parent can help them understand what’s truly being asked.
As we seek to understand our own children and parent them best, tools like this can be an amazing gift. As I reviewed the additional information provided in The Children’s Profile, I discovered that it would help us much more if my husband and I also took the inventory to discover which styles defined us. I was not surprised that my husband and I ended up on opposite sides of the graph (we knew that already!) but I was very surprised that my son and I tested so differently. We seem to have a LOT in common in terms of extroversion and other personality traits. However, these test differences really provided an explanation for the times when we have conflict. What I thought I was sounding like (and what I would have sounded like to someone of my own design) was not at ALL what my son perceived my words and tone as communicating. After we all completed the test and began to discuss the results, it propelled us into a pretty deep conversation about how he feels sometimes when he is corrected, what he thinks about himself, and how he would describe himself. That was an immense help and has even enabled me to look differently at the way I communicate with this awesome child whom God’s given into our family. It has been an amazing tool that will continue to be helpful, both now and in the future!
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” This is the Bible’s instruction to us as parents (Proverbs 22:6, NASB). As we journey through life daily with our children we learn more about them, and how we can live life together with them and encourage them, bless them and prepare them for life. PeopleKeys’ The Children’s Profile is another wonderful tool that enables us to understand and train up these precious gifts.
The Children’s Profile costs $15.00 (although discounted prices apply for orders of 25 and up). The Children’s Profile and other great products from PeopleKeys can be ordered here.
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