Converting Enemies into Friends
By practicing forgiveness and communicating openly and honestly, people can establish healthier relationships with one another.
Sometimes, close friends can become strangers—or, even worse, enemies. Because there is no outward way of discerning who is an enemy and who is an ally, people must rely on their own instincts—and keep an eye out for consistently problematic behaviors. Indeed, enemies often reveal themselves through their actions. Manipulation, peer pressure, inflated confidence, a penchant for gossip, and dishonesty are all trademarks of toxic people. Too frequently, people fall into unhealthy, codependent friendships, and they don’t know whether they should fix the relationship or walk away for good. Learning how to recognize and address these harmful behaviors can prevent a friendship from becoming unsalvageable.
Maintaining friendships is never easy in the best of times, but if someone feels as though their friend is actively deceiving, exploiting, belittling, or controlling them, then they have one of two options. They can either remove themselves from the relationship, or they can try and repair the relationship. If they choose the former, it is important to be as gracious as possible; after all, former friends don’t have to—and shouldn’t—become enemies. If they choose the latter, both parties must be willing to forgive, accept each other’s boundaries, and communicate more openly with one another. With this book, people will learn how to identify and confront toxic behaviors before they ruin a friendship.
Enemies can be people with whom you once had good friendships. There is no unique physical identification for an enemy. People’s height or size will not indicate if they are enemies. Their smiles or seriousness will not provide clues that they hate you. Therefore, you will have to use wisdom to identify and detect those who are against you. Not everyone who disagrees with you must be considered your enemy, since those who disagree with you on a particular matter may have your best interests at heart and want you to be successful.
No one asks to have enemies, yet they often have many. Even the good things people do can cause them to have enemies. When a person is successful at their examinations, it may cause others to be envious of their success. A champion athlete will have enemies among those who lost the competition and even those who had hoped that the loser would win.
There are many reasons why people can become enemies. It may start with a disagreement. Gossip has a way of attracting persons who like to hear false information. However, whenever there is gossip, friends can become enemies, since gossipers like to spread news against everyone. Friends can easily lose confidence in others because of something they did. When someone loses confidence in a friend, it may be the end of a great friendship. Stealing and lying are two reasons why friends might become enemies.
When people have enemies, they must not stop being good to others. They must not allow their spirit to be bitter against others. If enemies are left alone, they may later reconsider their actions and change their attitude. Sometimes, it takes too much time to fight with enemies. Therefore, it is recommended that you take the same energy and build new friendships or try to convert your enemies into friends.
Having many enemies can be stressful. Whenever possible, try to convert your enemies into friends. Be willing to forgive them. Pray good prayers for your enemies so that they will be convicted of their actions and attitudes and will want to reconcile with you. Sometimes, a counselor may be needed to help two former friends to reconcile their differences.
When the friendship is renewed, respect one another. Set boundaries for the renewed friendship. Try to know what hurts your friend and avoid doing and saying those things.
It is always important to be honest with everyone. Honest persons may not have many friends, but their honesty will act as a great defender against those who wrongfully accuse them. When a friendship is rekindled, have open and honest communication. Be willing to speak the truth. Learn about your friend’s non-verbal communication and make sure that your actions do not disrupt your friendship. You need friends, so seek to have more friends and fewer enemies.
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