If the gut-wrenching feeling of loneliness wasn't bad enough alone, new research has confirmed lonely people are significantly more likely to have a heart attack or stroke and die younger.
Many people associate loneliness with elderly people, however Dr Michelle Lim, lecturer and clinical psychologist from Swinburne's Brain and Psychological Sciences Research Centre, says it can strike at any age – even among people who seem to have a lot of friends.
"You can be a university student surrounded by heaps of people on campus and feel completely isolated and lonely," she told Coach.
"Loneliness is a subjective thing, it's not an objective thing."
Dr Lim is not surprised that research shows lonely people are 30 percent more likely to have a heart attack or stroke.
Not only could isolated people be less likely to discuss symptoms with close friends and family and therefore potentially seek medical assistance, but Dr Lim says the very act of being alone is not good for our health.
"In evolutionary terms we need each other to survive – we're not designed to be by ourselves and that's why we're getting a lot of adverse physical consequences," she explains.
"We are social species, we rely on groups for our survival, and that's why we've been so successful as a species."
Dr Lim says we need to understand that loneliness is like a warning from our brain that things aren't right.
"When we feel lonely, it should be seen as a bit of a warning sign that we need to connect – it’s just like pain is a warning to go see a doctor," she says.
"When you feel lonely, it's actually a threat signal and that says, 'Go and connect'."
Often people interpret this as a strange feeling and ignore it, which can lead them to give off awkward social signals that are counter-productive.
"Even though their warning signs are telling them to connect, they try to protect themselves because their social self feels under threat," Dr Lim explains.
"When you're under threat, you protect yourself by giving off negative signals or unfriendly signals or shut down. They end up contributing to their own vicious cycle."
Seek quality not quantity interaction
While joining new sports teams or book clubs can be a good way of introducing yourself to new people, Dr Lim says combating loneliness is often more complex than that, and involves assessing the quality of the relationships you already have.
"Look at the people you're currently interacting with and consider how positive that interaction is," she says.
"People often don't realise that they are contributors to the quality of interactions and [have the power to] change the dynamic of those interactions and improve the quality there."
Many people only require one confidante to stop them feeling lonely – so it's not as though you need to find hundreds of people to socialise with.
To gauge the positivity of a relationship, Dr Lim suggests considering how you react to somebody's good news and whether you demonstrate that you're genuinely thrilled for them.
"Do you just say 'Oh cool' or do you say 'Whatever, that's not very interesting' or do you say 'Oh that's really awesome – you really deserve that!'" she says.
"The last reaction is the kind that builds intimacy."
The social media effect
Some experts blame the increase in social media interaction for loneliness, arguing that scrolling online often replaces face-to-face contact, however Dr Lim says it's not that simple.
"I think social media can complement one-on-one interaction," she says.
"For somebody who is shy, that social media platform can be a nice avenue where they feel safe and can build their confidence, then reach out and build those one-on-one relationships as well."
Dr Lim says social media can also offer a feeling of connection for people whose life situations have changed – such as being at home with a baby and missing the social connectivity of work or moving interstate or overseas.
"But oftentimes I say, 'Don't interact on social media by just following people – actually try to talk to your friends and connect with them in that realm'," she says.
"I think that one-on-one interaction should always be emphasised."