By: Paige Bartholomew, Licensed Psychotherapist
Guilt is an important emotion that lets us know when we’ve transgressed someone’s free will. It is meant to be used as a signal to alert us to a possible mistake we may have made.
Unfortunately, many of us use the feeling of guilt as a battering ram against ourselves. The proper way to use guilt is to thank it for giving us the information we need, and then to turn our energy toward making repairs wherever necessary.
After repairs are made, it’s important not to linger in the guilt. If you find that you are lingering, it may be that the other person involved WANTS you to carry that guilt FOR THEM.
Be careful, empath!
For empaths, there is a tendency to feel guilt when we should not. As a psychotherapist, it is my experience that it comes from a childhood coping mechanism in response to being emotionally “spongy”. As a child, we may have been used to feeling emotions that belonged to other family members while believing they were our own. Being an empath is SO VERY confusing for a child. If you sense you were taught to feel guilt inappropriately; learning some practices in discerning who the feelings actually belong to would be a good idea.
“Does this feeling belong to me or does it belong to someone else? Who might I be picking this feeling up from right now? A person in the room? My mother across town? Terrorist victims overseas?” As empaths, it’s important we learn to discern.
When guilt isn’t let go of appropriately, it can turn into SHAME.
We’ve all heard of “toxic shame”. Shame turns toxic when we ruminate on it too long, or turn it inward.
The voice of guilt says, “I did something bad.”
The voice of shame says, “I AM bad.”
When shame develops; the medicines are loving yourself, acceptance that you are human and deep forgiveness for yourself and others.
After you do everything you can to make repairs with others and to set situations right again to the best of your ability, you must learn to let go.
What does it mean to “let go”?
It means: NEVER THINK ABOUT IT AGAIN. EVER.
We aren’t meant to walk around this world feeling bad. We are meant to feel good! If you feel guilty or shameful it’s time to do something about it. You’ve suffered too long. Letting go is good for your vibration because it keeps you light; just like you’re supposed to be.
About the Author: Paige Bartholomew is a licensed psychotherapist in Austin, Texas. She’s been a devoted student of Sufism since 1998, where she is ordained with the station of Sufi Master Teacher by the Shadhuliyya Higher Sufi Council. She is a certified hypnotherapist, shamanic journey guide, energy healer, and passionate writer about consciousness and existential issues. Paige’s first book THE SOUL MAP will be published in 2018.
Find page Paige at her website www.PaigeBartholomew.com