4 Goals of Misbehavior
The child feels he or she only belongs when the parent/teacher are paying attention to him/her, whether it’s negative or positive attention. Attention seekers dread being ignored.
The child only feels worthwhile if she/he is being the boss and controlling everybody. This child feels, “I prove my importance by refusing to do anything you want.”
The child feels that the only way of attaining a social position is to be disliked. He/she has been unsuccessful in gaining attention or demonstrating power and therefore tries to hurt others as he or she feels hurt. In order to be recognized he or she demonstrates hostility.
Display of Inadequacy
Children displaying inadequacy see themselves as incompetent. They are deeply discouraged, with no hope for any success or attention. Their purpose is to avoid further hurt, humiliation or frustration. They hide behind “lack of ability” so that their real or imagined deficiency will not be obvious.
Before deciding what discipline action to take,
first determine why the misbehavior is occurring.
Identifying the goal of misbehavior will help you narrow the focus on the next step to take.