Talking to children about things that happen in the world is so important. As a therapist, I have been spending some time this week talking to many different people about their feelings about the election. I have seen a variety of responses from adults, from hope to pure fear and despair. I have talked to many children who seem confused, they don’t understand what’s happened or what it means. As parents, it’s our responsibility to teach our children the principles that we agree with and instill hope in our children. Here’s how I’ve been talking to my children:
1-On election day, my ten year old and I talked about the election process. We talked about the multiple ways that people can be elected to be president, through popular vote and electoral vote or the 12th amendment (mainly because we’re in Utah with Evan McMullin’s strategy). Prior to this, we had talked about Trump and why our family didn’t agree with the things he has said or done that has been hurtful to other people. If you’re children don’t know that Trump has been hurtful, this might be a good place to start.
2-Once Trump was elected, I anticipated that people would be concerned and upset. I talked to my children the next day about how important it is to love our neighbors and show respect to everyone. We talked about why some of their friends might not be at school. My 5 year old was worried about her friends that are African American at our school and said she would still play with them even if others weren’t.
3-Now that there has been major protests and people hurting others “in the name of Trump” I have talked to my children, appropriate to their ages about what has happened. With my 10 year old we have talked about Freedom of Speech and everyone’s right to express their opinions. We have also talked about that Freedom of Speech includes the responsibility to protect the rights and freedoms of others. We can’t hurt someone just to “express ourselves.” We talked about how some children have been hurt or had friends not want to play with them because they wear a Hijab or are Hispanic or African American.We talked about how some people are scared that they may lose their homes or jobs because of things Trump has said. We talked about what discrimination means and why it is illegal.
4-The last thing that we have talked about is “what to do”. My kids are caring and sensitive. They don’t want anyone to feel “left out” and are typically kind to most everyone. We talked about if they see someone being made fun of, they either need to go and help that friend or go and find a teacher or go to the office. We talked about how it hurts inside when people are mean. Both of my children agreed that if they saw anything that they would go and get help.
Parents need to decide is where they stand and what they can do. I spoke to a Muslim woman yesterday who suggested that each of us go to our children’s school and ask for Bullying Prevention programs to be put into place to teach our children what to do and prevent any bullying in the schools. My bias of course was, “We don’t need that at my school”, “The kids in my school aren’t like that, they don’t bully.” But reality is that this affects all of our children and all of our schools and all of our communities. I met with the President of Utah State Senate in Utah’s first ever Utah Citizen Summit (Utahcitizensummit.org) who expressed that he would be active in ensuring the rights of ALL Utahn’s are protected.
We can protest Trump’s behaviors peacefully. We can make the commitment to not allow discrimination, hate, and bullying to happen in our hearts, in our homes, in our schools, and in our communities. We can call our political leaders and tell them our fears. We can offer support to minorities or people with disabilities. We can offer a caring hand to help our neighbors. We can smile at the Muslim with the Hijab. We can protest by being different. We can protest by writing our legislatures and telling them that we don’t support hatred or discrimination and ask that they continue to pass and support legislation that provides protections to immigrants, minorities, disabled, women, etc. We have a voice. We have hands and caring hearts. When people do nothing, evil can prevail but when we stand together, peacefully we can change the climate in our communities and hopefully our country.
To those that are hurting, reach out to your friends and community. The majority of American’s don’t believe in discrimination and hatred. You are not alone. We love you and support you.
If people are having problems with mental health through this difficult time. Reach out. There are crisis lines and support systems in place and people willing to help today. For crisis counseling in Davis County, 801-773-7060, Salt Lake County 801-587-3000. National Crisis line 1-800-273-8255. If people are being hurt, I know there is a group of prosecuting attorneys in Salt Lake ready and able to press charges and fight pro bono. Reach out, we want to help you.