It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is actually very common to hear people saying that "this kid was born to do this". There is much discussion as to whether people are indeed born with talents or anyone can be taught how to gain certain skills.
On the one hand, it is thought that each one of us has a specific talent that was born with it. Therefore, there are several children that are definetely very good at music or sports even from their young age even though they have not be taught how to do this before. Moreover, there are many children that have managed to develop their skills on their own without any help from experts. This is actually what impresses people and yrge them to believe that there are people that have been born with specifis talents. However, that does not mean that experts and teachers are not important, as they play an essential role in order to identify these talentes children and help them to improve their skills.
On the other hand, several people argue that everyone can become a good musician or athlete, for example, provided that they are taught by qualified teachers. What is needed is to be really keen on learning and willing to try hard in order to achieve your goal. There are lots of examples of children that they didn't seem to be able to ever be a musician, but after a lot of practise and lessons, they finally succeeded it. Everyone can become what he is dreaming through the right and professional training.
Taking all the above into consideration, I hold the view that there are actually some children that from the very young age seem to be very talented in different skills, but without the appropriate training from experts, noone can improve their skills in order to reach to the absolute perfect scale.
This writing is found under the following category(ies):
Discuss and Give Opinion
IELTS Opinion Essays
This critique is meant for the writing from non
This writing task has been reviewed and partially corrected.
Please revert to the original IELTS writing before correction
to understand this critique!
You were able to achieve the task by discussing both sides and giving your own opinion.
Vocabulary is quite weak with occasional typo.
+COHERENCE AND COHESION
Paragraphs are organised.
+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
Compare to the original writing.
+ "Be born to do this" is a common phrase not "this kid was born to do this". Next, using quotes as such is not formal and should not be used in the IELTS Writing exam.
+ When you write "There is much discussion as to whether people are indeed born with" like in the introduction. It sounds you are introducing an idea. However, in my view, you wanted to say there should be more discussions on the topic.
+ In the phrase "each one of us has a specific talent that was born with it", the word "that" is used to refer to "a specific talent". Your sentence literally means "a talent is born with itself" not every one of us is born with talents.
+ "definetely" -> "definitely"
+ "yrge" -> "urge"
+ Wrong tense:
> "they have not be taught" -> "they have not been taught"
> "what impresses people and urge them" -> "what impresses people and urges them"
+ "several people argue ..., for example, provided that they are taught by qualified teachers". So is that sentence your topic sentence or an example. You shouldn't mix them.
+ "several" is used when the refered subjects are countable. You should have used "a few".
+ Wrong "succeeded it".
+ Your sentence is incomplete "some children that
from the very young age seem to be very".