CAPE CANAVERAL, FL – The SpaceX Falcon 9, America’s first commercially-owned space craft, returned to earth with – aliens!
The flight marked the first time in history that NASA employed a private company to cargo and supplies to and from the space station.
“Our original plan was to have this space shuttle take some cargo to the space station,” said Stephen Bratton, a NASA administrator, “The astronauts wanted us to send them some more Pop-Tarts and Vienna Sausages.”
The privately owned space shuttle unloaded its cargo with out any problems. But on the way back, it encountered a rogue alien spaceship.
That’s when the crew radioed into mission control, saying that an Unidentified Flying Object had come across their radar.
“They asked for permission to apprehend the alien spaceship and take its crew hostage,” said Greg Flenderson of NASA’s Mission Control Center. “We told them to go ahead and do it.”
Only three hours after initial takeoff, the SpaceX Falcon 9 returned to earth with the aliens in stow. They were subsequently shuttled away to a nearby research facility, where they are no undergoing scientific evaluations.
“The aliens are being contained in an undisclosed location,” said NASA Administrator Charles Bolden. “But rest assured – our scientists are performing every possible test to make sure these aliens are not dangerous.”
Meanwhile, SpaceX, the company that owns the Falcon 9 space shuttle is suing NASA for possession of the alien bodies.
“Those aliens belong to us,” said Gary Jakowski, CEO of SpaceX. “We own the ship, and we own the cargo – why shouldn’t we own the aliens?”
NASA has yet to release a statement in response to SpaceX’s lawsuit.
But an inside source at NASA headquarters had some exclusive information to reveal to the Weekly World News.
“Those aliens are better off in NASA’s hands,” said the source, who wishes to remain nameless. “I know that those SpaceX guys are planning to do with those aliens. They want to clone them and create some sort of army or something. Whatever happens, we can’t let SpaceX get a hold of those aliens!”