After getting his head stuck in a jar, a black bear residing in Florida has been chosen to fly into space!
A NASA scientist observing the bear in its stressful situation immediately contracted it to fly on Apollo 113 (who?) for a trip to the moon.
Back in the early days of space exploration monkey's were used, but scientists dropped that idea because the monkeys proved to better than their human colleagues (especially on a diet of bananas and monkey nuts), and the world certainly didn't need a new "Planet of the Apes" in outer space! (The Hollywood one was bad enough!)
The jarheaded bear is now going through special training and will be launched in a month or two. One of the experiments that the bear will working on is to establish the fact that honey really can be found on the moon because the global honey-bee population is becoming extinct and people are frightened that bears could start ravaging their rubbish bins????
The NASA scientist (he shall remain nameless) involved in the operation gave the following statement:
"Jarhead the bear looked so sweet with his look-alike Astronaut helmet + the problem with global honey-bees, then I thought, send him to the moon because it's suppose to be made of milk and HONEY!"
The whole experiment is costing $15 billion dollars of tax-payers money and NASA thinks it could be a brilliant investment!
NASA = Nutty Astronauts + Scientist Arseholes