- In the first book of The Bible, Guinessis. God got tired of creating the world so he took the Sabbath off.
- Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was Joan of Ark. Noah built and ark and the animals came on in pears.
- Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.
- The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic genitals.
- Sampson was a strongman who let him self be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
- Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.
- Moses led the Jews to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
- The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. After wards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments.
- The first Commandments was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
- The seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
- Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
- The greatest miricle in The Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
- David was a Hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.
- Solomon, one of Davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
- When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
- When the three wise guys from the east side arrived they found Jesus in the manager.
- Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
- St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.
- Jesus enunciated the golden rule, which says to do unto others be fore they do one to you. He also explained a man doth not live by sweat alone.
- It was a miricle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
- The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 Decibels.
- The Epistels were the wives of the A Postles.
- One of the Oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
- St. Paul cavorted to Christianity, he preached holy acrimony which is another name for marraige.
- Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Alleged to be answers provided by children at a Roman Catholic junior school, to a test containing questions about the Old and New Testaments of The Bible.