Remember when you were teenager? Remember the feelings you felt as your body was changing? Remember the way peer pressure seemed to be more than a challenge – but a seemingly constant obstacle course you either had to navigate your way through or give in to?
In parenting a teenager, we sometimes forget the feelings of self-doubt that crowd the minds and hearts of many of our teenagers. We forget the intense emotional, social, physical and hormonal upheaval that they are moving through. Remembering or even being reminded of how we can play a significant role in helping them turn self-doubt into self-worth is important.
In this month’s issue, we would like to offer you a few tips on how you can empower your teenager to help them experience their self-worth and apply their teen power.
Watch for your teens talents and wins, and share your observations. Very few teens will feel empowered if you simply tell them they are “good”. When you describe the positive things you are seeing as a result of what they actually doing (or being) by giving examples and talking to them – they tend to listen and it helps them build up their self-image.
Look for the good stuff, not just the bad stuff. While it is our jobs to make sure we lead our teens into responsible, thoughtful actions, achieving the result we want means not just paying attention to what is wrong but also what is right. When we steadily focus on the positive behaviors and choices we see, they tend to do this for themselves as well.
Give your teen every opportunity to do what they do well. Some teens are great at sports but have a hard time in school. Some teens are sharp in the sciences, but struggle with sports. Some are creative and excel in the arts, but have a difficult time with reading or math. Whenever possible, don’t take away what your teen is good at, because of something they aren’t. Give your teen the opportunity and support to experience what they are their best at because in the long haul it will give them more strength to tackle those things that they aren’t.
There are many ways that you can help your teenager experience their power. Positive focus and reinforcement builds a great sense of self and shows your teenager, through example, how valuable they truly are.