Transitioning Children From Co-Sleeping To
Their Own Beds
Co-sleeping offers many parents and children a loving environment that can
build bonds, comfort, and trust. Sometimes parents co-sleep out of necessity
when they have fussy or restless children who are only calm in bed with Mom or
Dad. Other parents are using attachment parenting techniques and co-sleeping is
a part of their plans. For some moms, co-sleeping offers an easy way to nurse
their babies at night without disturbing others, and allowing them to get a good
sleep as well. No matter what the motivation is for co-sleeping, there will come
a time when this is not the preferred situation for either child or parent.
Encouraging children who co-sleep to slumber in their own beds, in their own
rooms, can be done several different ways.
One of the first things to remember when
transitioning children from co-sleeping to independent sleeping is time. It more
than likely took weeks or months to develop this habit, and if it is the only
sleeping style known to a child, can be a difficult pattern to change. Parents
should realize right away that time and patience are keys to any successful
sleeping pattern alterations. Sometimes parents will wait until their child has
fallen asleep in the shared bed, then carry them to their own beds. This will
occasionally work for families, but sometimes it results in children awakening
repeatedly at night and parents losing patience as well as sleep.
Parents might have the most success with very small transitional steps, such as
bringing the child's crib, bed, or even a sleeping blanket, into the parent's
room. At first the child doesn't even need to be encouraged to sleep separately,
but instead be shown that the other sleeping place is safe and near Mom or Dad.
Some parents might find it easier to encourage children to nap on the child's
bed or in the crib at first, because sometimes daytime sleeping feels safer for
children. Then parents can gradually move to separate sleeping at night, staying
just within reach of their child.
Independent sleeping can also be achieved when using approaches to make it more
comforting and appealing. Special night lights, extra bedtime stories, or
favorite stuffed animals tucked in beside the child can provide security and
comfort. Establishing routines is key, and centering these new routines away
from co-sleeping should be done with positive, reassuring, safe, and peaceful
methods. Sometimes the small things like spending an extra 30 minutes reading
bedtime stories or snuggling can help to relax the child can help make the
Children who are very reluctant to separate from the parent's bed might be more
motivated if there are incentives for independent sleeping. These can be as
small as a favorite treat in the morning after they have stayed in their own
sleeping place over night, or for older children, when multiple nights have been
successful, a larger reward such as new pajamas, bedtime book, or fun breakfast
choice on the weekend.
It is important for parents to emphasize through this process that the child is
not being punished or is unwanted. Instead, the child is growing and becoming
such a wonderful little human being that he or she needs to have their own
special place to get enough rest to become even stronger. Parents need to focus
on the long term goals, have patience, and be consistent and firm, and soon they
and their children will have pleasant dreams.
"I Slept In My Own Bed" behavior
charts to help your kids stay the night in their
own beds and our
Bedtime Routine Checklist to make sure
you're on the right track every night!
By Charles Murray
Seeking to discover ways to get your toddler to
sleep through the night? Then pay a visit to
www.BabySleepAtNight.com for more information and download plenty of
FREE parenting resources. Newborn Baby Sleep
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