We are in the final phase of summer, punctuated by busy malls full of young people considering what fashion statement needs to be made in the first week of school, and a rising level of anxiety/excitement in both students and teachers as dreams of what this year might be become more vivid. Every conversation with family and friends tends to take a forward view of what's to come, a significant change from the "live-in-the-moment" conversations of summer activities.
As the school supplies sit in the new backpack at the side of the bed, and the new clothing sticks out of the closet and drawers like a neon sign, students often find themselves alone in their anxiety of the new year. While everyone else's references to what lies ahead are cursory statements of good luck, greeted with smiles and feigned excitement for the adventures coming up, for many students the anxiety of returning to school is quite real. This is particularly true if the child is concerned with social issues, the teacher he/she will be having or whether it will be a successful academic year. Of course everyone is excited about new supplies and clothing, but beneath that surface of excitement can be some serious nervous tension.
In the conversations between parents and children that inevitably arise in the short period before school begins, some of that anxiety may become apparent and it's important to recognize it and address it, calmly and with the intent of offering some suggestions should the worst fears actually come to light. Helping children understand that change makes EVERYONE nervous, and that their anxiety is a normal feeling may take some of the edge off the feeling that they are alone in this emotional angst. Remind them that the early going of school will be highly directed as teachers establish routines and set up the structure that can help everyone achieve success. Paying close attention to what the teacher expects, in the first week of school, can go a long way towards settling into class easily.
Social issues, especially as students enter the late elementary and early high school years, are often the biggest sources of anxiety for youngsters desperately trying to find their place in the social world. Again, we've all faced this and if we're honest, we can remember the nervousness that accompanied it. While every child's personality offers a unique set of options in how to handle social situations, some common advice can be offered. Be open; be honest; be kind; be yourself. It is not necessary to worry about making 500 friends at school; there will be many groups of friends that will form around common interests. What is important is that a student find one or two friends of like mind, a process that may take a week or two when changing schools. The key is patience and observation - looking through the initial impression everyone wants to make to see those who are, in fact, "birds of a feather."
Academically, the best advice any parent can offer is to suggest that every day brings an opportunity to do your best. That's all anyone expects and if it is done habitually, will take care of 99% of the academic issues faced by a student. The emphasis should always be on reinforcing the role of effort, not focusing on "potential" or "intelligence." After all, when it comes right down to it, the smartest people work hard at whatever they do, regardless of their natural abilities.
As an educator, I empathize entirely with the anxiety of young people as they return to school. Although I am well into my fifth decade of new school beginnings, I feel the same nervous tension now as I did when I was a student. In the natural world, that is known as the "fight or flight" response, intended to make us attentive to the risks and opportunities around us. It is the perfect moment to start fresh, create new habits and respond to new situations in a way that will make life easier for us. From that perspective, it's all good!
Graham Hookey is the Head of Kempenfelt Bay School and can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.