Adolescence has its challenges for every child, adopted or not. It is a time of rapid mental and physical change, greater responsibility and new opportunities. Add to that tremendous pressure to perform academically (and athletically) and conform to peer-group norms. During this period, teens develop their self-identity.
Part of developing self-identity includes understanding one’s past history and family origin. Adopted children may have some very intense feelings about their identity, feelings that become heightened during adolescence. While they may feel a true sense of belonging to their adopted family and peer group, they may repeatedly put their family and friends to the test.
Being adopted does not mean that behavioral problems will develop. But when problems occur, it is important to respond appropriately and with sensitivity.
When Treatment Becomes Necessary
Internalizing negative emotions can lead to self-destructive behavior. Externalizing negative emotions is important, but can be done in either a healthy or destructive way. Engaging with friends, playing sports or writing songs are all examples of healthy externalization. Unhealthy or destructive externalization is dangerous and may indicate the need for professional help. Destructive externalization includes:
- Suicidal ideation
- Loss of interest in usual activities
- Poor personal hygiene
- Drug or alcohol use
- Getting into trouble
- Inability to meet school, work, social or family responsibilities
Loved ones may try to help but end up feeling frustrated, angry and hopeless when their efforts are met with rejection or worse. Sometimes families need a break, and kids need an objective person to guide them. Needing treatment does not mean anything is wrong with the teen or the family. Receiving treatment can help teens transition out of negative thought and behavior patterns into more positive ones.