Researchers at the University of Washington and the University of California, Berkeley have published what is said to be the first published observational studies of homosexual relationships.John Gottman, one of the lead authors is quoted as saying that "Gay and lesbian couples are a lot more mature, more considerate in trying to improve a relationship and have a greater awareness of equality in a relationship than straight couples.I think that in 200 years heterosexual relationships will be where gay and lesbian relationships are today." "In the modeling paper we looked at processes, and they look so different you could draw a picture," said Gottman.Be patient with your partner, and remain firm in your decision that talking is important. You cant communicate alone or protect you both alone, and you dont have to know all the answers.Understand that success in talking does not mean one person getting the other person to do something.
For example, "What do you think about our agreeing to avoid sex until after we graduate? For example, "I think you said that you want us to use both condoms and birth control pills? " Or, "I think you want us both to wait until we graduate to have sex? " Avoid judging, labeling, blaming, threatening or bribing your partner." Or, "What do you think about our using hormonal contraception as well as condoms? Dont let your partner judge, label, blame, threaten, or bribe you.Do not wait until you become sexually intimate to discuss safer sex with your partner.In the heat of the moment, you and your partner may be unable to talk effectively. Dont be swayed by lines like, "If you loved me, you would have sex with me." Or, "If you loved me, you would trust me and not use a condom." Research suggests that married heterosexual couples can learn a great deal from gay and lesbian couples.Do not let fear of how your partner might react stop you from talking with him/her. Let your partner know that you hear, understand, and care about what she/he is saying and feeling.
Be "ask-able"let your partner know you are open to questions and that you wont jump on him/her or be offended by questions.