Understand what to expect
· From birth to about age 2: Children need a lot of support, holding and loving interactions. If the caregiver is absent, the child may fear that she or he will not return. At this stage, children build attachments with caregivers. They will learn to trust that adults will be there for them when they need them. During these years, children learn through their senses and their physical activity.
· From age 2 to about 6: Children learn language, some reading and many social skills. They also begin to struggle for more independence from caregivers. If such efforts are understood and encouraged, children begin to take more initiative. During these years, children learn by exploring, pounding, touching, mixing, turning objects over and throwing them, and asking many questions.
· From age 6 to about 12: Children begin to act with increasing self-control. During these years, they begin to lay the groundwork for becoming productive members of society. They process the information they receive and can make complex decisions. They are able to follow rules and accept responsibility. They also develop a self-image based on their experiences and feedback they receive from significant adults. If this feedback is positive, children grow to become confident and successful teens. If it is frequently negative, a child can grow to feel inadequate and inferior.
- Learning about your child: Your child is a unique individual. To interact with your child effectively, take time to learn about the special qualities of your child.
- Find the root of misbehavior
True misbehavior occurs when a child chooses to behave inappropriately. Before you take action, ask yourself the following questions:
- Is my child really doing something wrong? Is there a real problem, or are you just tired and out of patience?
- If there is no real problem, release your stress away from the child.
- If there is a problem, go to the next question.
- Think for a moment. Is your child actually capable of doing what you expect?
- If you are not being realistic, re-evaluate your expectations.
- 3. Did your child know at the time that she or he was doing something wrong?
- If your child did not realize she was doing something wrong, help her understand what you expect, why, and how she can do that. Offer to help.
- If your child knew what she was doing was wrong, and she intentionally disregarded a reasonable expectations, your child misbehaved.
Make it easier for your child to do the right thing than the wrong thing.
- Arrange your day to meet child’s needs and your own needs
- Arrange your house to help child behave
- Think about how you wish your children would behave and then model that behavior.
- Children will copy manner, tone of voice, language and actions whether they are appropriate or not.
Rewards are not bribes. A reward should fit the behavior and be given after behavior and often without the child knowing that it is coming.
- Catch them being good
- Say something nice – “I like the way you did that.”
- Spend extra time with your child
- Give a hug or smile
- Praise in front of others