As the adult it is imperative that you stay in control. Remember you are constantly modeling for the children in your groups and classes. Think about what you are modeling. When entering a confrontation are you remaining calm or are you exhibiting the very behaviors you’re trying to stop?
Limit your responses
Think about what to say before you approach the child. Tell the child you need time to think about what happened, buy yourself time. Use what I call “the peace maker form”. It’s a piece of paper with three columns on it. The child writes or draws what happened in the first column. In the second column they write or draw what they did. In the third column they put down what the other person did or how they reacted.
This gives the child time to calm down. Sometimes I address the situation at the time. Other times I might wait to address the issues. Sometimes you can address the situation and the child role play what happened or you might talk them through the scenario. Take your cues from the child and the situation.