เฉลยงานเขียน IELTS Writing Task 1
คราวที่แล้วเราได้ลองเขียนงานเขียน Bar Chart ในหัวข้อ The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australian share of the Japanese tourist market. ใครยังไม่ได้ลองเขียน พี่แนะนำให้ลองกลับไปดูจากหัวข้อนี้ก่อนค่ะ
คราวนี้มาตามติดว่าอาจารย์จะแก้ Grammar และ Vocab ในจุดไหนกันดีกว่าค่ะ
The chart illustrates the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad in a period of a decade which reached its peak at 15 million people in 1995 and in the below graph indicates Australia’s share of marketing market share of Japanese tourists which peaked at seven million in 1993.
It can be seen from the bar chart that between 1985 and 1995, the amountvolume of Japanese who travelled to other countries grew rapidly in each year. There was were five million tourist in the year of 1985 and the number tripled in a couple of years later (1987). However, in 1991 and 1992, the number was remained almost the same at about 12 million tourists. The highest number was accounted for 15 million people, which was three times higher than the number shown in 1985. The highest number of Japanese travelers who want to Australia for vacation purposes accounted for about 7 million people in 1993 and the lowest was bottomed out at about 5 million in the year of 1989.
From an overall observation, over a period of the years from 1985 to 1995, the number on both charts substantially increased and there was a three-fold increase between 1985 and 1995 for Outside-Japan tourism ofby Japanese citizens. Similarly, Japanese that who went to Australia for vacation considerably increased in number over the first four years with but included a slight fall in 1989. However, it continued to rise after that year.
(Estimate IELTS Band Score: 6.5)
IELTS Examiner Comments:
Student, I see that you’ve got a good hold of grammar apart from prepositions. Take a closer look at those. Also a few conjunction issues are there, but on the whole this was done very well. There is both trend & comparison language here.
IELTS Institute Team