Before I knew God, I knew Joseph
88. A priestly vocation is born within a man’s own family and is nourished by that family’s witness to the faith. A widely held perception indicates a growing need to include families, particularly the presence of women, in priestly formation. Some recommend that, in the course of their formation, seminarians spend congruent periods of time living with their families, receive guidance in gaining experience in the pastoral care of the family and acquire adequate knowledge of the situation of the family in these times. That some seminarians come from difficult family backgrounds also needs to be taken into consideration. The presence of the laity and families, even in the years of seminary formation, is seen as beneficial, so that candidates for the priesthood might understand the distinctive value of the two different vocations. Formation for the ordained ministry cannot overlook emotional and psychological development as well as the seminarian’s direct participation in adequate related programmes.
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63. The Christian community might also display a friendliness to couples in difficulty through the nearness of those families who are actually living a Christian marriage. The Church draws near spouses who are running the risk of separation, so they can rediscover the beauty and the strength of their married life. In cases of a painful end to a relationship, the Church feels the duty of being close to these people in their time of suffering in such a way as to prevent disastrous conflicts between the spouses and, above all, to minimize the suffering of the children.
8. Many cultural contradictions have their effect on the family. The family continues to be seen as a safe haven for the most intimate and rewarding of loving relationships, but the tensions resulting from an extreme individualistic culture, centred on amassing possessions and enjoyment, generate within the family intolerance and aggression which is sometimes out of control. A certain kind of feminism can also be mentioned, a feminism which considers motherhood a pretext to exploit women and hinder her full realization. At the same time, there is a growing tendency to consider having a child a way of fulfilling one’s personal desires, something to be achieved by any means available. Finally, there are theories according to which personal identity and emotional intimacy ought to be radically detached from the biological difference between male and female.
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18. Special attention needs to be given to grandparents in the family. They are the link between the generations, ensuring the transmission of traditions and customs in which those who are very young can trace their roots. Furthermore, they often guarantee, in a discreet manner without financial compensation, a valuable economic support to young couples and assist in caring for their grandchildren, even passing on their faith. Many people, especially in these times, can acknowledge that they owe their initiation into the Christian life to their grandparents. This demonstrates how the faith is communicated and safeguarded within the family, in the succession of generations, thereby becoming an irreplaceable legacy for newer families. Consequently, the elderly deserve genuine recognition, appreciation and a cordial reception by young people, families and society.
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Social exclusion weakens the family and becomes a serious threat to the dignity of its members. Of particularly concern is the condition of the children, who seem to be punished , because of social exclusion and oftentimes are tragically scarred for life by hardship and suffering. They can truly and properly be called "social orphans".
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19. Widowhood is a particularly difficult experience for those who have chosen and lived marital and family life as a gift from the Lord. Nevertheless, in the light of faith, this state in life provides various possibilities which can prove to be invaluable. For example, in enduring this painful experience, some demonstrate an ability to pour their energies into greater dedication to their children and grandchildren, finding in this loving experience a new enlightening mission in raising children. The void left by a deceased spouse, in a certain sense, is filled by the love of family members who give a value to the person who remains, thereby allowing him/her to treasure the memory of his/her marriage. On the contrary, those who cannot count on the presence of relatives to whom to dedicate themselves and from whom to receive affection and nearness, ought to receive special attention from the Christian community and given support through the community’s availability, especially if the persons who are suffering a loss are poor.