Tough Questions Kids Ask
December 2005: Dealing with Tragedy
When tragedy strikes, how do you explain to children that, in spite of the pain and turmoil, God still loves them?
Tragedy presents a multitude of problems. First and foremost, children grieve, as adults do, when tragedy affects their family personally. Furthermore, they may be confused or angry, not understanding why a loving God would let bad things happen. Finally, they may experience fear, especially if exposed to troubling images of disasters.
For personal tragedy, such as the death of a loved one, Sharon Marshall's article "Grief Matters," which appeared in the Winter 2003 issue of Christian Parenting Today, makes several pertinent suggestions: explain to children that we will all eventually die; remind them that Jesus wants us to be with Him; reassure them that the friend or relative, if a Christian, is now with Him in heaven; and finally, console them by expressing grief over the loss, but also our hope of seeing the person again in heaven.
In addressing children's confusion and anger about why the tragedy occurred, explain that pain and suffering are a part of our world. Jesus, too, went through pain and death on the cross. Remind children that God did not intend His world to be this way. He wanted us to live with Him forever in the perfect Garden of Eden. By breaking God's rules, an action He cannot ignore, people in effect chose separation from Him, which always results in suffering.
If children then ask why our all-powerful God does not intervene to prevent Christians from getting hurt, remind them that we have all sinned. Although Christians may try to live godly lives, we are still sinners and are not immune from harm. Also point out that He often does prevent disasters. Think of the Air France passenger airplane that skidded off the runway recently in Toronto. News accounts dubbed it "The Miracle of Runway 24L," after all 309 people on board were able to evacuate the aircraft before it burst into flames.
As a contributor to the website www.explorefaith.org observes, "Often, instead of physically protecting us from danger, God intervenes emotionally and spiritually in our lives." He knows when we grieve. He cares for us deeply, sharing our pain, mourning with us, and experiencing our loss even more than we do. The Bible is full of references to God's efforts to console us, including Psalm 23:4 - "Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me," Psalm 91:15 - "I will be with him in trouble," Matthew 5:4 - "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted," and 2 Corinthians 1:4 - "[He] comforts us in all our troubles." Reassure children of God's love with these verses, and encourage them to share their confusion and pain with God in prayer, since He wants to hear what is on their heart.
Finally, when children are exposed to troubling images of tragic events, Cheri Fuller's article Climbing into the Heart of God: Praying with Children in Uncertain Times, posted on www.whenwepray.com, suggests praying with them, turning their concerns into prayer. She cites several Bible verses, including Psalm 91:4, 91:15, and Psalm 46:1, and recommends incorporating them into prayer, declaring, "God, You are our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." The article also encourages children to take action to alleviate feelings of helplessness. Sending cards to military personnel, hosting bake sales to raise money to help victims of disasters, and sending stuffed animals to children affected by tragedy are simple steps children can take.
Copyright © 2005-2013 by Jennifer Kirsch. All Rights Reserved.