Lead By Listening Effectively
who's an effective listener?An effective leader asks the right questions, reformulates the questions being avoided, masters silence, records only useful information, and uses the insight strategically.
The effective listener tries to understand what his counterpart is saying rather than merely pretending to listen, meanwhile thinking about his next question.
By being patient, mastering silence, and using body language to show that he genuinely cares about what the speaker is saying, the effective listener comforts the speaker and incites him to share as much as possible. By effectively managing pauses and allowing for uncomfortable periods of silence, the effective listener can easily push the speaker into "spilling more beans" than expected.
people want to be heardYou can win allies and influence decision makers by listening to what people have to say. Unfortunately, our education system favors participation versus understanding, talking and debating versus empathy and listening effectively to gain insight.
The truth of the matter is that since more people wish to be heard than to listen, a smart leader can use this insight as an opportunity to gain more knowledge and more allies in order to sway people toward his objectives.
loose lips sink shipsIf you really want to impress people, be quiet and listen to their opinions and thoughts. Verify your understanding by paraphrasing and asking sharp questions, and then listen again. Remember the important ideas.
People are more tempted to talk than they are willing to listen. If you observe a roundtable discussion, more often than not, people seem to simply stare at the speaker, but they do not actively listen to what is being said. In fact, they are preparing themselves to jump in with a power comment or a thunderous question.
avoid interruptionsThe real goal of discussion is to not discuss and talk, but to listen. Ask questions that motivate people to share more information than expected, and actively listen. One should not interrupt and should do as much as possible to insure the steady flow of communication.
Some non-verbal signals such as a nod or a smile and gratuitous comments such as "I know," "you're right" and "I agree," help maintain the flow and rhythm of discussion.
What's their body language?