The experience got me thinking: Can being nice be taught? Is there some way we can instill in our children the ability to be nice to others, even in stressful situations?
Here are a few recommendations I think might work.
GET STARTED YOUNG
Teach "niceness" as early as possible. My 1-and-a-half-year-old knows to say "thank you," every time she receives something. Talk to your kids from the very beginning, about how to be nice to others. They need to know the importance of sharing a simple smile or showing appreciation to family members who help them get dressed, brush their teeth or even spend a few moments during the day playing with them.
A baby can show thanks by giving a hug; a toddler can give a kiss on the cheek and an older child can simply say "thank you." What's important is that their behavior be consistent, and that you, as a parent, reinforce how wonderful it feels when your child is nice to you.
Have you ever heard of the expression, "You get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar?"
Although the nurse was very rude to me, for most of our stay at the ER, I did my best to be as nice as possible. Children learn, in part, by watching others, and if you as a parent can keep a smile on your face through trying situations, your child, in turn, will learn to be kind, even to those who are not so nice to them.
PLAY A GAME
I have devised a way to teach my kids how to be polite; I call it the Niceness Game. Every time my older daughter catches my husband or me being mean or losing our tempers, she gets a quarter for pointing it out. She tends to make a lot of money when we are in the car and stuck in traffic. When we are caught, we are supposed to apologize to the person we were being mean to.
The game keeps her senses heightened for attitudes and comments that are less than nice and I can say it keeps me on my toes. Twenty-five cents is a small price to pay to keep a pleasant disposition all day long.