To the editor:
Lately, there's been a lot of focus on bullying. Most of the focus has been on bullying in schools and among teens. It is a fact that bullying has gotten out of hand in recent years, but a good question is where do our young people learn this behavior in the first place? Not only in schools from their peers, but also at home.
Parents, one or the other or perhaps both, may bully the other parent and the children notice and pick up on that kind of behavior and see the results - you get your way when you bully, you can make things happen, you have control.
There are no repercussions to bullying until it gets so bad it is finally reported, usually long after the damage is done. But how many times doesn't it get reported and a person suffers in silence?
Also, another point to bring up is children who bully grow up to be bullies, not only at home but also at work. Co-workers of a bully can suffer just as much as a teen. And like school, it can go on and on in the workplace without repercussions. It may get reported, but nothing happens. We are supposed to buck up and take it. Shrug our shoulders and get used to it. The bully may get reprimanded and that could be OK, one time. But one time should be enough.
How do you know if someone is getting bullied? Not always is it something that others would notice. It can be very underhanded and sneaky behavior toward a certain individual but then are nice to others.
If a person, student or employee, has been bullied and has reported it, more than likely it is true - no one wants to admit being bullied - it can make you appear weak and no one wants to appear to be weak.
What should be done with bullies? Once reported, or noted, that someone is being a bully - they should have consequences. Being expelled from school and attending a course on "Bully Management" (like Anger Management) and/or be fired would be the best solution. It should not be tolerated under any circumstances. For a school or work establishment to tolerate that behavior is showing a lack of control of their students and employees. If we want bullying to stop - it should be stopped everywhere!