This subject is one that does not come natural to us. It is something that is either taught at a younger age or something you hope to learn along your growth path in life. Accountability can be hard to come by as it is not the easiest to take that route. It happens to be something that some seem to latch on to faster than others. We all view being accountable differently as well as how we correct it.
Many have said that if you don’t start teaching the little blessings right from wrong early on, it is harder to get a grasp on or correct later. You can’t teach this universally as all views differ, however, there are a few things that hold true. I believe that there is a moral compass when looking towards being accountable. At the young age of a toddler learning to share to the date you age to a point that you may not care what you say and who it impacts, can make all the difference. If we teach our kids how to be kind, considerate, and open to learning new things versus straying away from them, they are on their way to a good start. At the tender ages, children look to their parents and environment to learn what is acceptable and what is not. They learn what is right and wrong by watching our actions and the circumstances that are a result of or the discipline that follows. Keep in mind all discipline does not consist of physical contact. You have to learn what fits your child. My nieces and nephews tend to do better with a good talking and a discussion versus physical contact. If we can teach the little ones that learn so much from observing us and listening to us, it limits hope that you can work with or convince adults to look at their behavior. Children’s cartoons and music also discuss these factors.
I believe by the time we are young adults we start to form our ideas of what we hold ourselves accountable for and others. It may change along the years but we start to mold in some very crucial ways. We start to realize what others do not accept accountability for and what we think they should be held accountable for certain actions and outcomes. We realize that this subject is not only important in our personal life but in our careers. It is generally a factor people look at when they define our character. Accountability in my opinion shares some insight as to how self-aware you are. However, I do believe being accountable is more than just the party at hands to recognize. At times being held accountable takes those around you to remind you that you need to scale it back or could choose to handle things a certain way. Let’s rest assured that the kids that have shot up schools, everyone asked where were the parents, what did their friends know, did other students see them as a threat? They ask these questions because many times the tragedies that impact us and our country could have been stopped if people would step forward and speak up. Folks always say they don’t want to get involved or they wouldn’t want to be wrong. I think you have to ask yourself what level your relationships are on if you can’t be honest with one another. I EXPECT my folks to tell me when I am going overboard an issues that don’t require that. If I see people spiraling out of control due to whatever the reason, we should say something. I think it is so weird that some of yall are comfortable calling out certain people on things that are a stretch of the situation, but with others it is something you stray from. What kind of families and friendships are we building that are supposed to be subsurface if we can’t hold peoples feet to the fire. I am not speaking of being rude, or disconnecting from them. It is called effective communication. We pick and choose in those when it is ok. I can understand with acquaintances or people you don’t know, but for folks that you care about. I tell you… I’ll keep it polite and say it sucks and makes me shake my head.
Folks, this is not rocket science. Just stand up for something like they say or fall for everything. If you feel my passion behind this… it is because it burns my fire. We need to learn how to address being accountable in situations versus acting out. We aren’t children and there is a way to handle all situations. Rest assured I am that family member and friend that will call those on this. It has led to people not speaking, wanting to be around less, and anything else you can think of. The thing that makes that ok with me is knowing my reason and my purpose. I don’t move in the way of being deceitful or making people feel bad about decisions. If we have a hard conversation due to any situation it is because I feel we can grow from it. Holding folks accountable should never be about pointing fingers. Pointing fingers and blame only leads to people being defensive. Many times when holding a person accountable it is about the delivery, it isn’t even always what was said. I was notorious for that conversation with my father. I loved him and he loved me. However, many times when he discussed things with me he was not happy about, his tone and delivery took over the message. My father and I discussed things from A to Z. So these conversations happened here and there. Holding someone accountable is about the learning process and the growth. It is not about making them feel bad or some type of way. If you find yourself wanting to discuss accountability with someone and don’t think you can focus on what is most important then I would say wait to have that talk unless it is a life threatening situation. I say that because it is about the person you are wanting to discuss things with, it is not about you. Don’t make this about you, let them be the focus and be able to clearly explain why this is a concern. Feel free to expand on the positives or the way things could be different when taking accountability.
If you enjoyed this blog, feel free to read Dating 101 and Friendship 101. Accountability can make and break those situations. You decide how to handle it best based on the people involved and be willing to step back and evaluate it as if you were not the other party involved. Choose to make a difference and have those hard conversations because you love and care about these people, not because of anything else.