I’m going to write a phrase as one word, and then a phrase as two words. What do you see first?
Okay, what did you see first? Did you see opportunity is nowhere? Or did you see opportunity is now here? Did you see hug therapist, or hug the rapist?
This exercise illustrates that two people can view the exact same evidence, see it differently and both be right. Most of the time, facts don’t generate conflict; mindsets do. The dictionary defines mindset as: ” . . .a fixed mental attitude or disposition that predetermines a person’s responses to and interpretation of situations.” Therefore, most of time we all respond to our mindset, not the facts. In truth, because of the blinding power of a dominant mindset, we often fail to
to see evidence right before our very eyes.
Now, I’m going to show you two other phrases and I want you to decide what’s different.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Okay, how many times did you have to read those two sentences before you realized that the word “like” is being used differently? In the first sentence, the word “like” describes how time flies. In the second sentence, the same word is used to describe what fruit flies enjoy. But chances are good that once you read the first sentence, your paradigm blinded you to the difference.
Now, to illustrate the power of your mindset, I’m going to tell you a story, and predict that at some point as you read this story, your mindset will supersede the facts, and you will draw a conclusion contrary to the facts, and feel certain that your conclusion is right. Now read carefully.
Tom and Jerry were the best of friends, and had grown up together in a rural southern community. They did most things together, including working in the same plant. Tom worked the first shift and Jerry worked the second shift. About five years ago,Tom married a lovely woman named Shirley. Jerry was single. One Friday, as Jerry was preparing to go to work, he broke a button on the fly of the uniform pants employees had to wear in the plant. Knowing nothing about sewing, Jerry ran next door to ask Shirley for help. Shirley told Jerry to sit in a straight back chair as she went to get her sewing kit. Meanwhile, Tom, who had been feeling a little under the weather left the plant early to drive the five blocks home. As he got into his pickup truck, he reminded himself to take his rifle into the house when he got home because he and Jerry planned to go hunting Saturday morning. Back at Tom’s house, Shirley found a button and kneeled in front of Jerry to sew the button where it belonged on the front of the uniform pants. As she finished, Shirley knotted the thread and out of sheer habit, leaned forward to bite it, just as her husband stepped through the front door, his 30-06 rifle cradled loosely in his arm.
Okay, when did your mindset supersede the facts? How did this scenario end? In your opinion, did Tom see his wife helping his best friend, or did he “catch” her in a compromising position? Your mindset, not the facts predetermine your response. I daresay that at some point as you read the scenario about Tom, Jerry and Shirley, your mindset provided a conclusion to the story, based upon itself, not the facts as I wrote them. Your mindset also positioned you mentally to believe that conclusion. Finally, your mindset, even now, prevents you from accepting any other explanation. These constitute the initial three powers, or the effect, of mindsets. They provide conclusions, position for believability, and prevent the acceptance of contrary information.
Now go back and read the fifth sentence in this article. The sentence begins with “Therefore . . .” Read it slowly! Do you see the second “to?” Did you see it the first time you read the sentence? Nine times out of 10, you did not see the second “to,” because your mindset blinded you to it because your mindset “knew” that the sentence required just one “to.” Often as we listen to people, or read what they write, we do not hear or read the facts, but rather what our mindset dictates.
Okay, I think I’ve made the point, but what does this mean to you?
Understanding how to master mindset shifting helps everyone because we are all victimized, curtailed, even controlled by our dominant mindsets! With this article, though, I’ve targeted members of the FLOC (Families and Loved Ones of Criminals). In an earlier article, I explained how critically important you are to helping more criminals, aka, your relatives and loved ones, make the arduous trek from crime to contribution. Change begins with mindset shifting!
Paradigm is another word for mindset. According to Adam Smith, in his book Powers of the Mind: ” . . . a paradigm is a shared set of assumptions . . .the way we perceive the world . . .Our paradigm explains the world to us and helps us to predict its behavior.” Willis Harmon, a researcher with the Stanford Research Institute says: “A paradigm is the basic way of perceiving, thinking, valuing and doing associated with a particular vision of reality . . .” Consider the example of a US Secretary of War who said about an Army officer who proposed warfare from the air: “I’ll stand on the deck of any battle ship in our fleet while this fool tries to hit it with bomb from a moving plane.
Therefore, in this aricle I want to explain why, if you sincerely want to help your relative(s) or loved one(s) transform from criminal(s) to community contributor(s), you must first change you–your dominant mindset or paradigm–so you can help them change themselves. Here are some words that describe mindsets or paradigms, but we seldom think of them that way: theory, model, methodology, principles, assumptions, conventions, patterns, routines, habits, common sense, tradition, customs, ideology and doctine, just to name a few. Consider an even clearer definition of paradigm: “A set of rules and regulations that establishes boundaries and limits and teaches individuals how to behave within those boundaries.”
Harmon adds: “A dominant paradigm is seldom if ever stated explicitly; it exists as unquestioned, tacit understanding that is transmitted through culture . . .and experiential interpretation, rather than taught . . .”
Therefore, to learn how to master mindsets or paradigm shifting, we must first understand their powers. Paradigms define perception, dictate positioning, control perspective and predetermine personal production. Paradigms also often plague progress. Here are some quotes from leaders in our culture, who at the time could not see beyond their paradigm:
Thomas Edison: “The phonograph . . .is not of any commercial value.” (1880)
Simon Newton: “Flight by machines heavier than air is unpractical and insignificant.” 1902)
Grover Cleveland: “Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.” (1905)
American Road Congress “It is an idle dream to imagine that . . . automobiles will take the place of railways in the long distance movement of passengers.” (1913)
Robert Millikan: “There is no likelihood that man can ever tap the power of the atom.” (1920)
Tris Speaker: ” [Babe] Ruth made a big mistake when he gave up pitching.” “(1921)
Harry Warner: “Who the . . . . wants to hear actors talk?” (1927)
Thomas J. Watson: “I think there is a world market for about five computers (1943)
New Science Magazine: “The odds are now that the United States will not be able to honor the 1970 manned-lunar landing date set by Mr. Kennedy.” (April 30, 1964)
Ken Olsen: “There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home.” (1977)
” . . . the people making these predictions were neither stupid nor trying to mislead. They were, without exception, experts in their field. But as soon as you understand the paradigm effect, you understand that these people could not see past their paradigms.” (ibid)
Please understand the awesome power of paradigms and why all of us–including yourself–find it difficult to “see” beyond our dominant paradigm. Remember, a paradigm, or mindset, is a model of understanding, consistently free of significant contradictions. So if your paradigm regarding your criminal thinking loved one is that he or she is incapable of telling the truth, no matter what they say, you will always hear them lying. A paradigm also guides expectations, helps sort, organize and classify information. Thus, we might hear ourselves saying, as our loved one explains that the police obviously have it in for him or her–“But why would the police just pick on you?” Our dominant paradigm affects the type of questions we ask. Therefore, we’re far more likely to ask the loved one we’re trying to help “why” they did something wrong, rather than “did” they do it. Paradigms also incorporate into themselves our individual accumulation of knowledge, experience and beliefs. This is why driving through some neighborhoods you check to see if your car doors are locked, but don’t think about it in other places.
Clearly, then, each member of the FLOC must work diligently on themselves before they try to help their criminal thinking relatives and loved ones make the arduous trek from crime to contribution. Stephen R. Covey described the genesis of this work in his best-seller–The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. He wrote: “For our purposes, a simple way to understand paradigms is to see them as maps. We all know that ‘the map is not the territory.’ A map is simply an explanation of certain aspects of the territory. That’s exactly what a paradigm is. It is a theory, an explanation, or model of something else. Suppose you wanted to arrive at a specific location in central Chicago. A street map of the city would be a great help to you in reaching your destination. But suppose you were given the wrong map. Through a printing error, the map labeled ‘Chicago’ was actually a map of Detroit. Can you imagine the frustration, the ineffectiveness of tyring to reach your destination? You might work on your behavior–you could try harder, be more diligent, double your speed. But your efforts would only succeed in getting you to the wrong place faster. You might work on your attitude–you could think more positively. You still wouldn’t get to the right place, but perhaps you wouldn’t care. Your attitude would be so positive, you’d be happy wherever you are–(even back in prison.)[My addition]. “The point is, you’d still be lost. The fundamental problem has nothing to do with your behavior or your attitude. It has everything to do with having a wrong map. If you have the right map of Chicago, then, diligence becomes important, and when you encounter frustrating obstacles along the way, then attitude can make a real difference. But the first and most important requirement is the accuracy of the map. Each of us has many, many maps in our head, which can be divided into two main categories: maps of the way things are, or realities, and maps of the way things should be, values. We interpret everything we experience through these mental maps. We seldom question their accuracy; we’re usually even unaware that we have them. We simply assume that the way we see things is the way they really are or they way they should be. And our attitudes and behaviors grow out of those assumptions. The way we see things is the source of the way we think and the way we act.” (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Covey, pp 23-24).
Yes, for your relative or loved one to successfully move along the Change Continuum, from crime to contribution, he or she must begin with changed thinking. They must sacrifice their dominant paradigm for a new way of thinking. Remember, in an previous article, I defined crime as: “a way of thinking that justifies harming others for self-gain.” You, however, cannot teach them or assist them in changing the way they think until you learn how to analyze, balance, clarify, define and eliminate your own dominant paradigms that blind you to facts and limit you to “seeing” only the imaginable.
Now, let me share with you seven powerful laws that will teach you how to master mindset or paradigm shifting.
First, look at everything deeply and differently. Learn to see beyond the obvious.
Second, learn to envision previously unimaginable outcomes. Speak frequently about new outcomes, rather than current circumstances. Make those previously unimaginable outcomes your focus. Renowned personal development trainer, Tony Robbins declares: “You will attract into your life whatever you focus on.
In 1969, I lived with an aunt in Durham, and had a job helping to clean a downtown hotel. I wanted to become a teacher. So whenever I had a chance, I would stand in front of the mirror on my dresser, with an open book, and read and expound from the book. A neighbor across the street would call her neighbors to sit, watch and listen as ” . . .that crazy man talks to himself in the mirror.” She saw me acting “crazy” because she could not imagine me as a college professor. The facts would seem to make that picture unimaginable to me, also. I was an African American high school dropout, with a long crime and prison record. Despite the facts, I daily continued preparing for a previously unimaginable outcome. The opportunity came in 1983 when I desgned a course called Write for Profit and taught it in the Continuing Education Department at Duke University. Since then, I have taught at Campbell University, North Carolina Central University, and lectured at many other colleges and universities around the country.
Third, develop a new vision–a previously “unseeable” future. When I was released from prison, Dec. 9, 1968, my top ambition was to become a professional writer. I began to develop a new personna–that of a professional writer, not an ex-con, struggling to make ends meet on the pay of a hotel janitor.
Fourth, design a new mission, completely unlike your current attitudes and expectations.
Fifth, ask and answer this question: “What must I believe for this new vision to become my reality?
Sixth, ask and answer this question: “How must I think in order to fulfill this new mission?
Seventh, when will I begin this quest, irrevocably committed to not stopping until these previously unimaginable outcomes, and this previously “unseeable” future become my daily reality from which I can “see” new and greater vistas to achieve?
Now you’re ready to begin. If not you, who? If not now, when? Please understand that more than 300 million US citizens need you to do this!
See you at success!