Parents, You often face the problem of your children fighting too much which can sometimes lead to sibling rivalry. But did you ever think about why your children fighting too much? If NO then this article is for you.
What is Sibling Rivalry?
Its common for the sibling to fights. Some sibling is lucky to have a brother or sister who is his/her best friend. Mostly sibling rivalry starts before the second child is born. This rivalry continues as the kids grow and compete for everything from toys to attention. It some times can be upsetting to watch your kids fighting with each other. It’s hard to stop fight and you often think whether you should get involved in it or not. But you have to take a step to maintain peace in the house.
Your children complete for everything from toys to parent’s attention. With their growing age, their competition also becomes bigger.
You worry that your children will:
- get hurt physically and emotionally
- damaging their self-esteem
- Fight forever
- have poor relationships
- Not Caring
Ways to stop sibling rivalry:
- Make them understand, they are different from each other: We all know that every person is different from each other. So, make your children understand that they both have different strengths and weakness. Ask your child to pen down their specific strength and work on it.
- Don’t compare with each other: You often compare one sibling to another to motivate a child who is not like the other sibling. But this will create a negative impact on the children and develop bitterness towards their sibling.
- Promote teamwork activity: Give a task to your children that need teamwork. They work on a common goal which helps the children to understand each other perception. Give them an easy like like cleaning the house and give them reward when they finish.
- Sign up children in different activities: Enrolling your child in the same activity may be a good idea initially, but it may create a rift between the sibling and becomes the reason for the rivalry. If 1 sibling is good in the particular field and the second sibling is struggling to do good in the same field then his can cause feelings of resentment. Always enroll your child in a different field where they each can have their own opportunity to shine.
- Siblings are forever: Make them understand no matter how many friends they have, but they but they will have a sibling forever. Friends may come and go but their sibling with stay lifetime. No matter how much you compete at the end of the day they are siblings.
- Favourism: Don’t favor a specific sibling, as your child may notice this and then your personality may clash with one child. Treat them equally. If you take the side of one child the other may feel unloved.
Why children fight:
- To get attention
- To feel powerful than other
- More than anything else annoying a sibling is more exciting for them
- To become the ‘favored one’ in parent’s eyes
When to get involved in the fight:
Don’t get involved in sibling fight until and unless they are harming each other. If you regularly involved in their fight, they may expect you to come in their fight to rescue them rather than learning to solve their own problem.
If you are concerned over the language used than talk to your child and coach them to use the appropriate word.
Encourage your children, to solve the crisis themselves. If you do step in their fight, try to resolve problems with your children, not for them.
When you involve in their fight, don’t focus on figuring out which child is to blame.
Separate the child until they’re calm. Give them some space and time to cool down & then talk to them.
Try to set up a win-win situation where each child gains something.
Treat your children equally. Don’t favor a specific sibling, as your child may notice this and then your personality may clash with one child.