What I'd like to be able to say . . .
What for survival I need to say . . .
But what I can't say."
- S. Jourard (in The Transparent Self) defines self-disclosure as making ourselves "transparent" to others through our communication--i.e., when we tell others things about ourselves which help them to see our uniqueness as a human being.
- Culpert distinguishes between self-description vs. self-disclosure. Self-description involves communication that levels "public layers" whereas self-disclosure involves communication that reveals more private, sensitive, and confidential information.
- Pearce & Sharp make an interesting distinction among three related terms: Self-disclosure, confession, and revelation:
- Open Pane – Known to self / Known to others. The Open Pane includes information such as hair color, occupation, and physical appearance.
- Hidden Pane - Open to Self / Hidden from others. The Hidden Pane contains information you wish to keep private, such as dreams or ambitions.
- Blind Pane - Blind to self / Seen by others. The Blind Pane includes information that others can see in you, but you cannot see in yourself. You might think you are poor leader, but others think you exhibit strong leadership skills.
- Unknown Pane - Unknown to self and others. The Unknown Pane includes everything that you and others do not know about yourself. You may have hidden talents, for example, that you have not explored.
- Most straight people that I know don't hesitate to announce to the world if they are married or dating someone. Many of the other teachers at my school have photos of their husbands and kids on their desks that anyone can see. For them, sexual orientation is one of the "outer layers of the onion" for self-disclosure.
- I don't think it is the same for a lot of gay people. I have to gauge carefully whether to tell someone that I am gay or whether to talk about my partner. That is a matter of disclosing from my depth when you consider the kinds of risks that are involved and the vastly different comfort levels of potential listeners.
- Sharing what most people consider to be basic facts of life becomes a struggle. I have to weigh the costs against the benefits. There is the fear of being rejected or retaliated against professionally if I am open. On the other hand, if I am not totally honest or open, there is the personal cost of not being authentic or of appearing two -dimensional to friends or co-workers who never hear the day-to-day details of my life or hear them only in guarded or sanitized versions.
- Disclosure increases with increased relational intimacy.
- Disclosure increases with the need to reduce uncertainty in a relationship.
- Disclosure tends to be reciprocal.
- Disclosure tends to be incremental.
- Disclosure tends to be symmetrical.
- Liking is related to positive disclosure, but not to negative ones.
- Positive disclosure does not necessarily increase with the intimacy of the relationship; but negative disclosure is directly related to the intimacy of the relationship.
- Relational satisfaction and disclosure have a curvilinear relationship -- satisfaction is highest with moderate levels of disclosure.