What does the word “Feminine” mean? If I can divorce it from “womanly”, has it any other meaning? Have any women an opinion on this?
Kat Powell writes on the Romantic concept of Sensibility, where virtue and emotion together produced the appropriate response. Appropriate feminine sensibility resulted in good behaviour: there are controlling aspects to this, which can be rendered powerless if we divorce the concept from “pertaining to women”. Or go with Mary Wollstonecraft, who proposed one standard of virtue and equal education.
Claire Zammit and Katherine Woodward Thomas say that to fit in a man’s world, women have followed masculine power. This is the power to create things that can be controlled, [while] feminine power is the power to manifest that which is beyond our control, including those things that our heart most yearns for–intimacy, relatedness, creative expression, authentic community and meaningful contribution. Women care about love, intimacy, connection, belonging, creativity, self-expression, aliveness, meaning, purpose, contribution and a brighter future for generations to come.
Vanessa Halloum writes of “five feminine power virtues”- Presence, Authenticity, Sensuality, Spirituality and Gratitude.
Confucius said that a woman should obey her father, then her husband, and when a widow she should obey her sons. Her virtues were morality, proper speech, modest appearance and diligent work. Modest appearance: it is her job to avoid men being turned on, and she must not use sexuality for power. That is why I am reading women. Myisha Cherry says the concept of feminine virtue is a tool of patriarchy- so we need to do better than her dismissive list, “chastity, modesty and obedience” as opposed to masculine “toughness, strength and ambition”.
John Gerzema asked people whether they thought certain attributes were masculine or feminine, and found eight feminine ones were in the top ten required for leaders: Expressive, plans for future, reasonable, loyal, flexible, patient, intuitive and collaborative. For my own personal femininity I choose to include resilient as well: others call it masculine, and well OK. Inc magazine says leaders need feminine traits: empathy, vulnerability, inclusiveness, humility, generosity, balance and patience.
Krystal Baugher celebrates feminine traits: thoughtfulness/nurturing; delicate beauty; empathy, emotional vulnerability, intuition, patience, sensuality and radiance.
The Buddhist Library says Having masculine traits primarily means that a person is independent and assertive. This related to high self-esteem and to success in many situations.
Having feminine traits primarily means that a person is nurturant and interpersonally oriented. Such people therefore, tend to experience greater social closeness with others.
Here is James Park’s Gender-pattern chart. He argues that all femininity or masculinity is cultural, and that both sexes may show traits from both patterns. Creative, expressive, tolerant, nurturing, gentle, spiritual, compassionate, warm- here I have a cultural concept of femininity which I love, and which fits me. More on this tomorrow. I am pleased with my dialogue yesterday, which has an original Churchill anecdote.