Sometimes people call Hubbard House and are not sure if what they are experiencing, or someone they know is experiencing, is domestic violence. They know the relationship is not what they expected or wanted but is it abusive? Is what they are experiencing against the law? Domestic violence as defined by law focuses on violent acts, but we realize domestic violence can be much more than those acts that can lead to arrest. It involves a pattern of controlling and abusive behaviors that can leave a person feeling bad about themself and that can undermine their sense of who they are and what they are capable of accomplishing. To know if you or someone you know is in an unhealthy relationship you can ask a simple question: Does this relationship make me feel bad about myself? If the answer is yes, you need to learn more about healthy and unhealthy relationships and about your rights.
Four Main Types of Abuse
There are four main types of abuse: physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse and economic abuse. If you are in a physically abusive relationship you may experience slapping, hitting, choking, kicking, shoving, shaking, punching, spitting, someone throwing objects at you, restraining you physically or threatening violence.
Emotional abuse is harder to identify but some of the common things we see are name calling, insults, verbal attacks, humiliating you, destroying your things, harming or threatening to harm your pets, making you feel guilty and responsible for the abuse, causing you to feel bad about yourself, playing mind games and extreme jealousy.
Sexual Abuse is the third type of abuse and can consist of someone forcing you to engage in sexual acts that make you uncomfortable or are overly aggressive or violent, coercing you to have sex through manipulation or threats, forcing you to watch pornography or other sexual acts, denying you contraception or protection, or sending you harassing e-mails or other communication containing sexual content. You have the right to decide what is done to your body, even when you are in a relationship!
The fourth type of abuse, economic abuse, is often used as a way to limit someone’s options and keep them in an unhealthy relationship. If you do not know what it takes to support yourself and your children or you have never worked outside the home, it is scary to think of leaving. Economic abuse can be not allowing you to work, isolating you by limiting your access to money, controlling financial decisions without your consent or forcing you to use money for their needs while neglecting your needs and the needs of your family.
If any of this sounds familiar, we can help. We have free services for victims and their children and even have programs for abusers.
If you are in immediate danger, call 911. If you need someone to talk to and want to know how we can help, call the Hubbard House 24-hour hotline at (904) 354-3114 or (800) 500-1119. You can do so anonymously. What you tell us is protected by legal privilege and confidentiality.
Anyone living in an abusive relationship needs to have a plan for how to keep safe, just like you would have a plan for a hurricane or for a fire in your home. We can help you identify ways to keep safe. If you want more information than found on this website but are not ready to call, there are other resources available to you.
What is Domestic Violence as defined in law?
741.28 Domestic violence; definitions. As used in ss. 741.28-741.31: “Department” means the Florida Department of Law Enforcement.
“Domestic violence” means any assault, aggravated assault, battery, aggravated battery, sexual assault, sexual battery, stalking, aggravated stalking, kidnapping, false imprisonment, or any criminal offense resulting in physical injury or death of one family or household member by another family or household member.
“Family or household member” means spouses, former spouses, persons related by blood or marriage, persons who are presently residing together as if a family or who have resided together in the past as if a family, and persons who are parents of a child in common regardless of whether they have been married. With the exception of persons who have a child in common, the family or household members must be currently residing or have in the past resided together in the same single dwelling unit.
“Law enforcement officer” means any person who is elected, appointed, or employed by any municipality or the state or any political subdivision thereof who meets the minimum qualifications established in s. 943.13 and is certified as a law enforcement officer under s. 943.1395.