Im a urologist and I've treated cancer like this.So he should definitely be in some type of therapy if he has metastatic renal cell cancer. Typically this is immunotherapy which is typically not too hard on the body (this is significantly easier than something like chemo). There are many medications out there that all have pretty good effects on cancer. It sounds like your husband had a cytoreductive nephrectomy" where the kidney is taken out even though we know the cancer is spread. The goal is to just get as much cancer out as possible. Typically if there is remaining cancer (in the lungs for example) we then give immunotherapy however you do need to wait about 6 weeks after surgery for recovery. I'm not sure where he is on his recovery from surgery. Bottom line, I would talk to your oncologist about starting treatment, especially immunotherapy.Yes stage 4 = metastatic cancer. This is true of essentially all cancers.i will be blunt his prognosis is not good. With appropriate treatment his chance of living another 5 years is probably ~20%. This doesn't mean he'll die tomorrow but his time is limitedMore worrying is how young he is - 41 is incredibly young. You mentioned he is a veteran - he should see someone asap at the VA. If he had any exposure during combat he may be able to have all his medical bills covered. This is incredibly long and bureaucratic process but would be something I'd strongly suggest looking into.I am sorry but I hope this helps
Based on all of your comments it truly sounds like its time for a second opinion. Your current oncologist doesnt sound effective nor compassionate and you and your husband deserve a doctor who will listen to your concerns, treat symptoms, and treat his cancer rather than wait another few weeks which could be crucial