Lessons in Love
by Denis Clifford © 2004
Since adolescence, I was sure that the core of life was passionate, romantic love. Not that I had a glimmer how to find it.
An Amherst freshman in 1957, shy with women, I was alone at a Mt. Holyoke mixer, awash with pretty girls and suave upperclassmen, when I saw her across the floor. Inexplicably, I walked to her and bowed slightly. "Hello, I'm Denis. I've been assigned by the Social Committee to be your escort for the evening." She laughed. "You're the most attractive, intelligent woman here, so the Committee selected me, the most desirable man, to be with you."
"Well," Kate laughed merrily, "I guess it's out of our hands,"
It was certainly out of mine.
We went out for months. Talked - friends, school, families, hopes. Laughed - first time I'd really laughed with a date. Two book lovers, seekers, dreamers, we danced tenderly to Johnny Mathis' "The Twelfth of Never" and made out. I never mentioned the deep stirrings I felt for her, nor heard words of love from her.
She left me for a Junior, handsome guy with a car. I acted indifferent, banishing pain with my awesomely unconscious denial skills. But something kept drawing us together. We had reunited, parted, and were together again at the end of our sophomore years when she tearfully announced that she was transferring to the University of Missouri, in her home state. Gone. But the next spring she visited Holyoke, called me and we met for one passionate evening. We'd revealed how much we missed each other when she sighed sadly. "Maybe it's better. I always knew it wouldn't work out."
"Work out?" A new concept.
"Yes ... you were a Catholic."
"A Catholic?" Already "ex," it seemed no more significant than my shoe size.
"I always knew we wouldn't get married ... because ... my parents ... they just couldn't take it if I married a Catholic."
Uh ho, I'd missed something. I'd believed that love was magic that would, somehow, come over me and her (whoever she was). I hadn't felt full magic with Kate, but maybe we could have gotten there. However the magic worked, I did sense that it drew on far deeper qualities than mere looks. It better. I couldn't base my dreams of magic on my appearance. Tall, lean, with the blue eyes, dark curly hair and roundish face of the black-Irish, I sure couldn't pass for one of the those blond straight-haired Yalies.
Kate's lesson didn't shake my faith in love-magic. I'd never heard my parents talk of their love, but they proved it existed, frequently going off together for long Sunday walks, and returning alive with enchantment, chatting vivaciously.
When I was sixteen Dad called me into his study announcing we should have a talk, a unique event. We sat silently in mutual embarrassment a few moments. I was looking down when Dad announced that he knew I was getting older, and would be thinking about sex soon (Thinking about? Soon?). "I want to tell you something about love and sex." He paused. I looked at him, interest overriding my awkwardness. "About marriage," he perhaps smiled. "Remember, whoever you marry, you'll have to talk to her at breakfast for fifty years."
An astounding notion.
"And love. You really can love a woman. It's not just sex. I remember my brother Steve saying 'That's like kissing a woman after you've fucked her.' He was wrong. If you love a woman, you do want to kiss her after you've made love with her. Maybe not as ardently, but you kiss her ... because you love her."
We never discussed love again, and I never forgot his teachings. Through college, I didn't find many other clues about
what love was. My English-major friends loved to talk (day and night) but I don't recall a single talk about love, or passion. I sought the truths of life in novels, but those which spoke directly to me, were tales of loveless, money-making males - Marquand, O'Hara, Fitzgerald, Lewis, The Man in The Gray Flannel Suit. I never conceived of seeking out writings that described and evoked passionate love. And certainly the subject of "love" was not part of the English curriculum.
My senior year magic arrived in Lisa, a beautiful redhead, artist and Smith student. In a haze of enchantment, we kissed passionately and explored each other's bodies. Dancing sensuously to Jimmy Reed or talking was equally enthralling. We were both mildly bohemian rebels; she dreamt of sculpting, me of books. We spoke of our families - her unhappy mother, my angry father. I sensed our spirits had touched, and thrilled at her image when we were apart, though fears I was profoundly unconscious of checked me from revealing those emotions.
Occasionally, she was busy on a weekend. I didn't ask why. It didn't matter. We were veering closer and closer to declared love, I knew. Besides, her departures enabled me keep on with Betsy, my crush, if not love, from last year, now back at Holyoke after several months off for a mysterious liver disease (in reality, a suicide attempt, I learned later.)
Senior prom. Lisa and I at last slept naked together. The next day the warm spring air felt as if we could float on it. She twirled and danced down a street, youthful Aphrodite, her long red hair waving, trees seeming to flow with her. A week later she told me she was getting married to her love from prep school. "It's what I've always wanted." But I knew we both still wanted each other too. We met, cried, hinted at eloping. I knew what that meant: marriage, kids, responsibilities, necktie-jobs, inauthenticity - ME in the Gray Flannel Suit. I couldn't become a grown-up yet. So I received my initiation to love turning to heartbreak, pain as sung in blues songs.
I was working in Manhattan. Occupation? "Employee." I'd learned love could bite, but otherwise I found women as intimidating and indecipherable as ever. How to get a hint what was inside their hearts? They were weird. For instance, I couldn't fathom high heels. If they'll make themselves suffer so much, I wondered, what would they do to me?
Forget weird, women could be glamorous and I was hooked on glamourflashy beauty, flashing wit. Michelle had it. Better, we loved the same books and movies, as well as partying and talking. Best, she wanted me. We made love wildly on our second date.
A Californian, Michelle had lived bohemian - smoked dope, been an actress, divorced at twenty. She didn't like to talk about her marriage, so I quickly ceased asking questions. Nor did I probe, or even ponder, her penchant for thievery, or other foibles. She like to quote the Duke from Thurber's Thirteen Clocks. "We all have our faults, and mine is being wicked."
We'd been going out almost three years. Much fun: playing with friends, making love with continued intensity, exploring Manhattan, becoming devotees of Balanchine. The subject of marriage started coming up. I know I didn't raise it. I stalled, hoping for years free until I had to be an adult. But I conceded that we'd get married eventually. Our fun and desire was sufficient magic for love - wasn't it? Negotiations ensued. Pressed, I surrendered to I later dubbed the "three year rule." If you went out with a woman for three years, and she wanted to marry you (and of course she did or why would she have wasted three prime years on you?) you had go along.
By l969, I was a long-haired sort-of radical working in Oakland legal services, and content with marriage. Sure sex was no longer sizzling, and I had the beginning of a paunch, but didn't that come with being a husband? Then Michelle devastated me by announcing she no longer loved me anymore and was leaving. Alone, I felt a pain in my chest as if a heated steel band had been placed inside me and someone was maliciously tightening it.
Night after night I paced the floor, flipping a quarter, trying to get up the courage to call Kaitlin, the witty beautiful blond I'd encountered at school reform meetings. Ah, why seek more rejection? Surely someone as sharp and stunning as her had more desirable men pursuing her, perhaps some debonair journalist with a sports car. The quarter came up heads five times in a row. I picked up the phone, shook, put it down. A week later I managed to call. We went for drinks in San Francisco and soared through an evening of laughter and talk.
A few days later my colleague Adrian fixed me up with Helen, a graduate student in English at Stanford. Slender and alluring, she vibrated intensity like a taut, glowing wire. We shared rebellious spirits, hating the Vietnam war, drawn to the counterculture. Deepest, we shared a passion for books. With her I could be the real me, no longer buried under my public self of a leftie lawyer.
Within two months I'd told Adrian I was in love with both of them. Even more astounding, each seemed to be in love with me. Life was too thrilling a swirl for me to pause and wonder how I could use the word "love" to cover the flood of intense, gnarled feelings coursing in me. I wanted to be with each of them, loved making love with each, and didn't reveal anything that wasn't probed for, which was little. Then, abrupt as ever, Michelle announced she'd realized she did love me, though she wasn't quite ready to move back. Asleep with Kaitlin at my apartment, I was jolted awake long after midnight by the sounds of a door unlocking. Bolting out of bed, I ran to Michelle, whimperingly jabbering like a character in a French farce that there was someone else here. She exclaimed "Oh," and left.
Seven months after we met, Helen suddenly married her thesis adviser. "I never knew where I stood with you," she wrote. I continued with Kaitlin but couldn't pull free of Michelle. I told myself I was married, which meant you stuck it out; there'd never been a divorce in my family. Some flickers in my soul knew that dark, needy desperation drove me to cling with Michelle, and that love couldn't be grim endurance, but our marriage ground on, on Michelle's terms now. She'd continue to be the artist, pursuing (unpaid) actressing. I'd be the provider, the dull one. She insisted we buy a house; we bought a huge one I hated. She insisted we adopt a child. Sourly, I went along, knowing the proceedings took over a year, and I'd do ... what? ... somehow, be gone by then.
At an outdoors party, I took my first acid trip. The poor man's psychiatrist. Terrified, pressed against a tree, more alone than I'd ever conceived was possible, I shuddered in the void of knowing almost nothing as true. Love? I hated Michelle. A darker wave washed over me: I hated myself, particularly my body. That was all I really knew, plus the truth that I was alone.
Two months later, I got a phone call from the adoption service of the county welfare department. They had a lovely girl for us. Because they admired the legal work I'd done, particularly against Governor Reagan's illegal "reforms," they'd given me special priority. I said I'd call back. I knew at once that I couldn't bring a child into my loveless home. Michelle screamed, cried, berated, tried all the wiles she'd used to dominate me for months. I left, moving in with an Rick, an actor friend and his fifteen year old actress girl friend, Brenda, a budding flower.
Kaitlin and I voyaged to Guaymas, Mexico with some of her friends, including her college roommate, Suki. Days of bliss, except when I was haunted by the knowledge that something was very wrong with me. Why had I had no core? How come I still knew nothing about love, except in the disaster department?
I had long discussions about love with worldly Adrian. What did he think was going on? He shrugged "People have needs." When I pushed, he admitted that he too hoped for romantic love, though he'd never found it. He knew the key - trust - expanding on what that was. He's so obviously right, I gnawed myself. How come I never perceived that magic required trust? Maybe, Adrian offered in another talk, because trust requires telling the truth. Which started, acid had taught, with admitting the truth to yourself. I made standard California moves - beginning to work out regularly, seeing a therapist, struggling to pay attention to what I was "feeling" - fumbling for self-love, so banal to state, and such an onion-peeling process to try to live.
Kaitlin remained loving and my bitterness at "women" faded as I realized that my nasty generalizations were based on a sample of one, Michelle. When someone asked me what I learned from my marriage, I answered "I'll never marry her again." At least I'd learned that novels were unlikely show me how, or who, to love. Middlemarch had been my favorite novel in college, but I'd married a darker version of Rosamond. I waffled with Kaitlin and slowly saw her goodness. She was so beautiful I'd unconsciously assumed she must be spoiled. I was the sneaky, selfish one.
My friend Mike introduced me to Elizabeth, a Cal English student, a shimmering, somehow a bit ominous, hummingbird, aflame with skewed brilliance and sensuality, hungering, like me, for authenticity. My virulent insistence that I would not be a provider was met by "So what?" She was a feminist, even if she drew some cold female glances for her provocative dressing. Lovemaking was ecstasy. One spring evening, a few weeks after we'd met, we were walking towards each other, yards apart, when we both felt pulled to each other together as if some mystical energy field had seized us. Magic struck again. I'd fallen in love, I knew. Muffled doubts pestered me for some time, nagging that my falling in love remained based on instinct. Why did I trust that kind of magic?
Trust it or not, I was hooked. I love Liz, I sadly told Kaitlin. "I wish we'd talked," she answered.
Liz and I shared soul secrets, revealing our torments. Love was merging in the intensity of our lovemaking and sexual explorations, or consciously revelling in our rapture. Our conversations, the best kind, reached where neither of us could go alone. When I felt something troubling between us, I usually managed to call it, at least within my week's grace period. We agreed we were dealing with the dark stuff. What about monogamy, we discussed. I told her I'd discovered (surprise, surprise) that I wasn't by nature monogamous. She told me the same. I heard only what I'd told her.
Suki, radiant as a butterfly, was now working in my Legal Services office. She brought me a note from Kaitlin asking me how I was. We met. "It took me a while," Kaitlin said, "but I figured if some man doesn't want me, that's his problem." We evolved to friends.
Suki and I encountered each other often. She'd been with Jules for over three years. Kaitlin disliked Jules, who insisted on non-monogamy, but that no longer upset Suki. "I know he won't leave me," she told me, "and I like my freedom. I used to worry that I was letting Women down, not policing my man, but I realized if someone's upset by that, it's her problem." We decided to draw together, hiring a model at my apartment once a week. A couple of months later she joined me in a wine tasting class in San Francisco. We'd ride in, talking to each other of what we'd learned about love, what love was. Pure feeling, she said, spirits sharing, giving, in the present. A big reason she and Jules had stayed together was because they'd never looked more than a month ahead. Liz and I were leaving in five month to live a year in Ireland. Suki and I spoke abstractly of love when you knew it would end. Wouldn't it be pure because you couldn't - didn't - have expectations? After a week's vacation, I returned to get a call from her, asking about the next wine tasting class. I felt a thrill. Something in her voice? Nah, I told myself, you're inventing. (Later, I realized that whenever I had that feeling I was almost never inventing.)
We returned from the City, parking outside her house. Without speaking, we looked directly at each other, understood, and began laughing. We made love freely, laughing joyously. Living a love of once or twice a week, a gift without future, we joyed in openness and passion. She described how she saw me, and I heard my best self presented, with flaws seen. I gave myself, not sure what I was giving, but sure that she loved what I gave. One sunny weekday, we set off for a motorcycle ride and stopped at a light. Suddenly, she exclaimed "There Jules!" and shouted greetings. He called back to us, telling Suki he'd see her Friday.
A bit more evolved than me, who'd been telling Liz I was out drinking with one male friend or another, and would be home late. I had promised myself I would tell Liz what had happened, as we drove across the country ... well, surely once we were in Ireland.
Adrian hosted a monster good-bye party for us. Stoned, drunk, I stood alone in the middle of the hubbub and suddenly knew - me who was rarely intuitive - that Liz and I had betrayed each other. Mike noticed my stricken face and led me outside for a walk. Liz was on the front steps, talking to Pat, one of my closest friends. I snarled at her "Get out of my life." Shocked, she ran to me, crying, demanding what was the matter with me. We walked up the street, me insisting things were disastrous, her responding that I was crazy. Suddenly, I knew. "This is never going to work if we don't tell each other the truth. I've been sleeping with Suki." She stared at me, looking desperate. "I knew you were sleeping with someone," she moaned. "I've been sleeping with Pat." Two days and many denials later, she admitted she'd slept with five others while we'd lived together, including one where she admitted it'd been sick. Very sick, I tormented myself.
Karma had caught up to me, with lessons galore: I'd secretly excused my affair with Suki because I was hip, not straight, as if morality tuned on whether I wore a suit; a woman I loved could be conniving and sexually predatory; I'd assumed I was as deceptive and wicked as they come, and instead I was naive; maybe I couldn't be loved for who I really was. Sharpest of all was the old-fashioned truth that lying was wrong. At least it was for a liar like me, who's
inept but believes he isn't. Lying to a woman meant I needed her more than I loved her. Where was the magic in that?
After three tortured months in Ireland, we returned to separate apartments in Berkeley. Liz insisted I was still her man, but the more I probed for her core, the more confused I became. I found only calculation, no center. Who was she? All these wonderful qualities, but what was her essence? Mike observed that we were beginning to learn that everything is filtered through your soul. Over more tortured months, I reluctantly came to believe Liz's' soul was very disturbed indeed. We'd try to break up, then see each other on some excuse and be writhing in sexual ecstasy within an hour or two. An upsetting lesson: sex could remain fabulous, even as the remains of love writhed towards final death.
When I finally left Liz, I told myself I was at last capable of loving. No more holdbacks, no more emotional balloon payments. I wouldn't let myself fall in love without have some sense of the woman's soul. Well, however adept I proved at that, I'd let her see into mine. The only thing lacking as Ms. Right, who proved elusive. Solace was involvement with some wonderful women, often more than one during the same period. I didn't lie, even if I didn't always volunteer unasked-for details. Adrian observed "It easy to be honest if you don't care." When I told Kaitlin that I wasn't hiding my romantic entanglements she said "You bastard, now it's their problem."
Over years, Brenda, now a blooming flower, and I met randomly in Berkeley. I developed a crush on her, but she preferred me to remain a friend. Then, after a dinner together both old-pal comfortable and intoxicatingly romantic, we made love. Blam! Felt like magic, but I wasn't falling just for that anymore. A few weeks later my friend Lily remarked "You've been seeing her a lot. Ever think of living together?" I laughed. "Lily, she's fourteen years younger than me. And an actress. Not a chance." On a rainy night a couple of weeks later, Brenda mentioned that she'd thought of us living together, but quickly decided it was a silly. I agreed. As we continued to discuss how silly it was, magic enclosed us. Two hours later we'd decided she would move in within the week. I told Kaitlin "I can't see what I have to lose."
"Just time," she shrugged. But time was something I was prepared to be extravagant with. Opening to love with Brenda was a gamble. If it blew up, I vowed, I'd recover faster than the year plus Michelle or Liz had cost.
Brenda left after eight months. I felt far more lacerated than I could have guessed. For a couple of weeks I sank into torpor, smoked many cigarettes, slept little, sought advice from Liz. It was only two weeks until I'd run in my first Bay to Breakers with Mike. I'd trained for over a year. I willed myself to more steeliness with wounds of rejection and managed to resume working out. Healing followed far faster than in the past.
Time. Some women I knew were sensibly worried about their biological clocks. What time was it on my clock? Publicly, I laughed it off. After dinner with a dear friend in Manhattan, she asked about the children I'd years before told her I wanted, sometime. Wasn't I getting worried, gaining on forty? "Hey," I shot back, "I'm still trying to get a date for Saturday night."
More years passed: infatuations, escapades, affairs, wild women, wonderful friends, now including Brenda, who continued to spark my soul. But sometimes when alone, I'd ache with yearning for intimacy and passion, perhaps listening to one of my secret songs, the Moody Blues pining "I'm looking for someone to change my life. I'm looking for a miracle to happen."
I spoke with my sister Catherine about what I now knew I wanted. First, I wasn't going to fall fast; I'd evaluate, try to see. Glamour was no longer important, though beauty and brains remained so. Sanity was vital, a good soul. And someone who'd been through love a couple of times, "pre-shrunk." And someone with ability to pay her own way, unlike Brenda. And ... "Ah, I see how it works," Catherine cut in, "as you get older and the pickings get slimmer, your demands get higher."
Did all this add up to the dream of finding myself perfected in someone else, as Sally, my year-long unrequited crush from yoga class, defined love? Whatever it was, was I capable of living it? Speaking with Liz about my mother's cold side, I wondered how much of that it I had. She flicked me a hard, appraising look. "Some. Definitely some." Suki joked that I was the most unattached person she knew. At a party of my friend Lily's I met a woman, Nancy, who was taken with me. A friend of hers asked Lily what Nancy could expect. "It'll last nine months," Lily responded, "and she won't regret it." Lily proved right on both counts. A legal services friend returned to Berkeley and asked Adrian how my love life was. "Multiple," Adrian answered. "Oh good," she replied, "that's how he likes it."
At a party of my painting group, I saw a dark-haired, lovely woman, dancing alone; I joined her. In two dates Rachel and I discovered we shared much: both defined ourselves as creatures from the '60s, insisted that work wouldn't dominate our lives, preferring to live (comfortably) on the margins. She was a dancer inseparable from her dance, in love with motion. She was also Jewish, intense, passionate, a fellow reader, wanted kids, as well as being attracted to my spirit, quick tongue and my body (fortunately for me, her type). A few weeks later, lying in front of my fireplace after having literally made/love, our faces inches apart, we looked deeply into each other's eyes. Thrills expanded through my body. We'd seen into each other's souls and connected. I knew she felt the same. Wow! So falling in love was magic after all.
Staying in love proved more difficult. Her ex-husband returned, wanting her back after rejecting her months before. After a yoga class Sally and I continued our custom of occasional drinks together when she sprung that she'd decided what she wanted to do. "Let's get married and have babies." Soon after, Brenda, definitely still a flower, returned from Hollywood and told me she'd realized she wanted me back. When I hesitated she exclaimed in certainty, not anger, "You Love Me!" Turmoil, tears, tempests, tensions. Brenda asked "How come life's so much like a soap opera, except it's nothing like it?" The decisive reality turned out be that night by the fireplace. Rachel's and my soul had truly connected. A few crazy, tormented months behind us, we soared along in what we called stage one, defined by a friend of hers as "laughing and screwing all the time."
Falling in love was a great drug, but we both knew we'd evolve to stage two, real life: keeping love alive. New terrain for me. E.M. Forster had educated me that "The heart signs no documents" and I promised myself, and Rachel, to tell the truth, follow feelings, "process," the whole contemporary relationship bit, easily mocked but probably essential for love to survive. We mostly loved discovering each other, two strong-willed people, from cultures in some ways very similar, valuing humor, with a history of oppression, and in other ways so opposite, hers a family culture of overmeshing, no boundaries, mine one where you never asked for help, dispersion.
We struggled over "Commitment." Why, I insisted, would I promise to stick around no matter how bad it got? I noted commitment was also the term applied to involuntary incarceration of mental patients. Besides, I wasn't monogamous, although she insisted on it, having experimented with open marriage and concluding it was destructive.
"Love is the crooked thing. There is nobody wise enough to find out all that is in it." Yeats got that right. The tale of how we managed to keep love alive requires a novelist: tragedies, conflicts, opening hearts, angers, understanding, joys, good luck - turns out we're both tidy, and agree on so many other matters that are insignificant when there's accord, and major if there's soul-conflict. AIDS, and my age, rendered non-monogamy at best too much trouble, at worst deadly. After years with Rachel, I realized I'd evolved into commitment, even though I'd never "made" one. Living it felt more enhancing than confining. Not that it can't chafe. Dailiness grinds at romance. And what a drag it can be, having to "communicate." As some lover put it, "If he really loved me, he'd know what I was thinking." And what discouragement when talking doesn't bring harmony but clarifies differences. Then there's her flaws. And mine. Depressing, all that magic can't eliminate. How mundane that the therapy-folks are right when they talk about all the "work" necessary to stay in love, "dealing with your stuff." Right but limited. Because no "work" can guarantee magic, only remove barriers to it. Only by dwelling in magic often enough, as Rachel and I have been gifted with, can love continue, evolving.


"Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself; I am large — I contain multitudes."
"I was the one who loved you even when you gave me thousands of reasons not to."
"Sometimes you meet someone and even though you
never liked brown eyes before, their eyes are your new favourite colour."


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In the event that you and your partner are having trouble coming to an agreement over service obligations, the Superior Court can step in and order one spouse to pay support to another on a case-by-case foundation.
No two unions are alike, nor are the reasons for obtaining a divorce. There are times when a husband or wife may find alimony payments in their spouse in a divorce. Spousal support serves a particular function in divorce cases – it is supposed to offer economic support to a spouse that has a much lower earning potential capacity over the other partner.
It's not unusual for one partner to be in the workforce, controlling a high-salary, while the other partner manages the family and cares for the kids. Although just 1 person is earning money, it's believed that both spouses are contributing to the marriage and the family unit. If this couple were to get a divorce, the spouse might look for spousal support until she can become self-explanatory.
The judges will take into account how long it will take the wife to become self-supporting and what activities she needs to take to get there. For some, it may take four or five years – the period of time necessary to return to college and earn a degree.
This is especially true when the couple decides that the mother would maintain the family home and custody of the couple's children.


This article first appeared on The Montague Reporter,
under my monthly column “The Life and Times of an Indie Mama”
This one goes out to my baby daddy. Or, as I more commonly refer to him, my co-parent.
I really like the term “co-parent”. I like that it’s reminiscent of the word co-pilot. And I like that it evokes within me a sense of partnership, comradeship, and teamwork. It reminds me that we’re committed to this parenting journey together, and that through all the ups and downs, I am not alone in this.
My co-parent is a man who shows up every day for his child, and since the moment he was born has been in his life. As a person who grew up without a father, the fact that my child’s father is and has been present makes it easy for me to want to try harder in this relationship.
It is after all a relationship. Bound by a little person whom we both deeply love.
Though to be perfectly honest, working on this relationship has been no picnic.
Sometimes trying harder means looking straight at the mirror he holds up for me, acknowledging that which is flawed and sometimes fear-based. Sometimes it means Amazon Prime-ing our individual copies of Nonviolent Communication, and sitting down with a therapist to help us navigate choppy waters. Sometimes it means setting boundaries and standing firmly by them. And more than once, this relationship has come back from the brink of extinction by the simple and frequent exchange of appreciation and acknowledgment.
Once upon a time, I learned how vital appreciation and acknowledgement are when it comes to creating healthy relationships with men. And not just romantic relationships, but truly, any relationship with any man, be he your dad, brother, co-worker. Acknowledgment is one of the key ingredients, and when expressed authentically, can make any man feel like a hero. According to the woman who taught me this and other secrets, at the very core, men are wired to serve women. And when a woman guides a man how to best do so, and acknowledges and appreciates him along the way, this makes the man feel like he’s winning at life.
Now, look: I get that in our age of gender-fluidity and non-binarism, this may sound antiquated at best. But I’ve witnessed the relationships that exist between those women who practice this mindfully (and authentically) with the men in their life. And let me tell you, the relationships they are creating are nothing short of revolutionary.
When thinking about my co-parent, as much as I appreciate him, there are things about him that make me want to pull my hair out. He’s not some perfect magical baby-daddy descended from the cosmos of some rom-com. There have been countless times when I’ve called my closest girlfriends to straight-up vent about him, to rage over what he’s said or what he’s done.
And while all of that is valid, I continue to use the tools I’ve learned along the way to acknowledge that which is truly the most important: his everyday efforts at fatherhood. I applaud how he continues to show up for his child, and I feel blessed to be a witness of their love.


I love all the adventures we have together.
Heres to the next adventure cailin and the year a head, cause you amaze me more each day and fall for you more with each day.
I’m excited to be sharing our first Valentine’s Day together. I hope it’s the first of many…
I FOCKING love you


Description : On 'aime partager de bons moments chaudsOn adore faire gicler et gicler a notre tours aussi,,plus je te verrai excité et plus cela m'excitera c'est une question de partage et de feeling sur le moment entre toi et nousnous peux dominer mais aussi ne laisser dominer,On peux etre ta confidente, ta maitresse ou tu peux me donner un autre rôle j'aime aussi ces jeux ;)je pratique l'anal, aussi le fist et plein d'autres chosesFais moi part de ce que tu aimes et allons prendre du bon tempsHello guys. I am glad to see you in my room. And thanks all who read my biopage. Thanks all who say "Hello", when come to my room and all who say "Good Bye" when leave.So if you want to know a little about meI like to chat with good people. It is rarely to meet really good persons in life. But here I alredy find real friands and I hope they will stay with me for whole my life. Like guys who can make me smile and laugh. I like polite man who know how care about woman right. Who make me happy. I like men who can really turn me on and make me cum. Like to play with myself for you. If you really turn me on I will honestly cum for you and will thankful you for getting plasuare from each other.I like c2c. It is always good to see people with whom you chat. You see me right? Would be great for me to see you too. Give me your smile it is so easy to give someone smile. Maybe right your smile can make my mood for all day long. Let me see your eyes, they reflect your soul. And c2c ofcourse turn me on more... If you are alredy turn on let me see how you want me, how hard you are for me.I like guys who can give me gifts. It is plasure for woman to get gifts, gifts and flowers make us, woman, happy. Even women who tell you they do not like flowers, it is lie. They like, maybe just noone not give them this plasure. Do not be shy and show me your love, make me a bit happier with some gifts. Angry woman not like to fuck.... And I will show you my love too if will see how you care about me.So. Like you or no... It is just me. And you have chance to know me better, learn more about me, maybe become truly friand. And if you think for some reason about me I am crazy or wild, then good luck to you, you can find someone more appropriate for you. I do not want to hold such people close to me.Kisses and hugsÎmi place să vorbesc cu oameni buni. Este rar întâlnirea cu oameni foarte buni în viață. Dar aici am gasit trucuri adevarate si sper ca ele vor ramane cu mine pentru intreaga mea viata. Ca și tipii care mă pot face să zâmbesc și să râd. Îmi place omul politicos care știe ce pasă de femeie. Cine mă face fericit. Îmi plac bărbații care mă pot transforma și mă pot face cumva.
Îmi place să mă joc cu mine pentru tine. Dacă mă întorci cu adevărat, eu îți voi face sincer cum și îți voi mulțumi pentru că te-ai mutat unul pe celălalt.
Îmi place c2c.
Online : la nuitenightnoaptea
I love : all you, cam2cam tu ,camera contra camera c2c sa te vad excitat si cu dorinta si pasiunea de a te juca cu mine
I don't love : pas honetteLIE!!!!!!!!! Rude guys, assholes, dumbs, beggers.minciuna!!!


In the fast-paced, urbane lifestyle of today there is often limited time for maintaining relationships with some of the most important people in your life. Staying engaged with your family and friends can help build stronger bonds and foster warmth, security and love, as well as feelings of belonging.
Recreational activities are very important in an individuals life. They keep the mind and body refreshed and healthy. Picnicking with the family and friends is one of the ways a we can get together, spend time with each other and spend a fun and time.
We had our school picnic on 30th November to Shangrila Resort . We along with our students made a lot of memories to cherish forever.


DA Family Lawyers
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For a family law firm you can trust, get in touch with DA Family Lawyers today. Our reliable, supportive and knowledgeable family law solicitors are here to help.


Sometimes opposites attract, and sometimes you end up dating someone just like you. Similar personalities, similar tastes and similar attitudes in life can be both a blessing and a burden. Here are the pros and cons:
Shared values. Dating someone similar often means that you share the same core values in life. You don’t have to worry about them having values that are totally off base from your own.
Compatible personality. If you’re similar you don’t have to worry about the clash that can happen between introverts and extroverts or other opposites. You’re already compatible, which makes being together effortless.
Easy to find activities. Having similar personalities means that it’s easy to find activities to do together. You don’t have to compromise by doing what they want to do because chances are you just want to do the same things.


the more sexual and inappropriate you are with me the better we’ll get along
Next time I start having feelings for someone can someone please just shoot me in the head instead?
Sad black and white blog
Reading old messages between someone you’re not as close to anymore is never a good idea.
It’s only 56 days before 2014 and I feel like the only thing I’ve done this year was disappoint everyone including myself
New Storms For Old Lovers - La Dispute


National Girlfriends Day 2021 National Friendship Day, August 1, encourages women from all over the United States to come together to celebrate a special bond of friendship.
Girlfriends fall into many categories. Many grew up together, but others meet through work or college. Still, others share far more bonds. Sisters and mothers also meet the definition of girlfriend.
When is National Valentine’s Day?
National Girlfriends Day 2021 Such relationships often go unnoticed, but we often don’t have time to spend with each other. That day brings smiles and joy to girlfriends. Girlfriends rarely leave others alone.
They not only enjoy spending time together, but also support each other. While laughing and sharing secrets, the girlfriend gives advice and celebrates success. Your girlfriend stays there when you drink a glass of wine, hang out with a cup of coffee, or take a long walk.
Friendship is one of the special connections in life.
One or more of us, our girlfriends, make life better, richer, and richer. These are friends who can make you laugh at the worst things in life. A girlfriend is the one you go to when life is not so kind. In its simplest form, National Girlfriend Day celebrates endless ways to make life with our girlfriends better.
How to observe #NationalGirlfriendsDay
Tell your girlfriend today how important they are to you and how special they are to your life. Go out for lunch and drinks, remembering your dreams of the past and future. Please give a thank-you note or mail a note. Maybe pick up the phone and make a plan with your girlfriend. Make sure these relationships are not ignored.
No matter what you do, stay in touch and stay in touch frequently. Share all of Amazon’s wedding registrations in preparation for that special day. Post to social media using #NationalGirlfriendsDay.
History of National Girlfriend Day
National Foundation Day Calendar: The first official announcement of National Foundation Day was made in 2002 by mother-daughter writers Kathleen Raine and Elizabeth Butterfield.
However, there are two more demands on August 1st, National Girlfriend’s Day. The first is Susan, a lullaby from Savionaire.com, which began celebrating in 2003. The second is Tim Ally Savarino Klein, a website that began celebrating in 2006, and Sally Rogers on sisterWomen.com.


BECOMING THE MEACHAMS
By some standards, Alison would say ours is a story heard time and time again. Jared might even agree. Guy and girl meet. Guy likes girl. Girl has some excuse for turning guy down. Time goes by. Girl realizes the guy her heart longs for is already in her life, the very one she previously turned away. Girl tells guy she might have messed up. Guy graciously chooses to give her a chance, thinking he might still be interested, after all. Girl rejoices. Guy and girl find love comes easily, and a joyful relationship ensues.
In short, this is the story of us. Told with such simplicity though, it lacks the details that give our relationship life and a sweetness that can only come from God's sovereign hand at work.
The long version of this story begins in the fall of 2016. Alison's coworker Jim Shellenberger let news slip that both his girlfriend and one of his best friends were moving to Sheridan to attend school. Naturally, this meant Alison was about to have two new friends. She had already made Jim her friend, whether or not he wanted said friendship, so she felt confident she could do the same again. Over the next several months, Alison had the opportunity to meet and spend time with Katie and Jared, the aforementioned girlfriend and friend, but alas, never did she imagine the story God was beginning to write.


Before I share some tips on how to stay pure I want you to know some of my story..
I was 13 when I had my first kiss and by the absolute GRACE of God I still have my virginity today. I dated quite a few guys, I led a lot of guys on and I stayed with a guy I knew wasn't the one God had for me for 3 years. I found my worth in the attention I got from guys and I didn't feel that I measured up unless I had a boyfriend. God asked me to give it up.
He asked me to give up what I thought love was so I could experience what LOVE really is.


a girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph down the road on a motorcycle. This is the conversation they had...
In the paper next day: A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were in the accident, but only one survived.
The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his break went out, but he didn't want to let the girl knows. Instead, he asked his girlfriend to say she loved him and felt her hug for last time, then he asked the girl to wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.
so sweet and touching kan kan?


When we expect our spouses to meet all our needs we inadvertently put them on a throne in our heart that was designed only for our Lord. When they fail to meet our expectations, we become disappointed and dissatisfied with them. This Valentine's day, give your spouse the gift of a relationship centered in God's love.
A relationship centered in God's love acknowledges that the Lord is your personal source of significance, security and satisfaction. When you seek God because "In His presence there is fullness of joy; at His right hand are pleasures forevermore." Psalm 16:11 then God can touch the secret places of your heart that no person ever could reach to give you the satisfaction your soul desires.
This Valentine's Day, rather than ramping up expectations for love and romance from your spouse, you could instead celebrate the love God has lavished on you. When we are plugged into God's love then His love flows freely into our marriages. And as His love spills over, it sparks the fireworks that we all hope for in a great Valentine's Day.❤


Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme;
Remember me to one who lives there,
She once was a true love of mine.
In a forgotten language, flowers had meanings:
Parsley – Knowledge
Sage – Wisdom
Rosemary – Remembrance
Thyme – Courage
The song date back hundreds of years, and many variations of the lyrics have evolved, but they all center around love requiring the performance of impossible tasks.
She once was a true love of mine…
‘though she still lives, the minstrel has moved on from a true love that demanded the impossible, both he demanding it from her, and her demanding it from him. Now the true love is but a memory, and, parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme.


Helping Your Husband GrowWives can't change their husbands, but wives can and do have a tremendous influence on their husbands. How can you make that influence positive? 1. Men respond positively to praise. One of the most common complaints men make in my office is: "Dr. Chapman, in my work I am respected. People come to me for advice. But at home, all I get is criticism." What she considers suggestions, he reads as criticism. Her efforts to stimulate growth have backfired. Give him praise. The fastest way to influence a husband is to give him praise. Praise him for effort, not perfection. You may be asking, But if I praise him for mediocrity, will it not stifle growth? The answer is a resounding "No". Your praise urges him on to greater accomplishments.My challenge is to look for things your husband is doing right and praise him. Praise him in private, praise him in front of the children, praise him in front of your parents and his parents, praise him in front of his peers. Then stand back and watch him go for the gold.2. Requests are more productive than demands. None of us like to be controlled, and demands are efforts at controlling. "If you don't mow the grass this afternoon, then I'm going to mow it." I wouldn't make that demand unless you want to be the permanent lawn mower. It is far more effective to say, "Do you know what would really make me happy?" Wait until he asks, "What?" Then say, "If you could find time this afternoon to mow the grass. You always do such a great job."Let me illustrate by applying the principle to you. How do you feel when your husband says "I haven't had an apple pie since the baby was born. I don't guess I'm going to get any more apple pies for eighteen years"? Now, doesn't that motivate you? But what if he says, "You know what I'd really like to have? One of your apple pies. You make the best apple pies in the world. Sometime when you get a chance, I'd really love one of your apple pies. Chances are he'll have an apple pie before the week is over. Requests are more productive than demands. 3. Love is a two way street. If a wife wants to enhance her husband's ability to give her emotional love, perhaps her greatest influence will be in loving him. In my book, The Five Love Languages, I talk about the importance of discovering your husband's primary love language - the thing that really makes him feel loved: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, physical touch, or acts of service. Once you discover it, pour it on. Husbands are drawn to wives who are meeting their emotional need for love. Can you do it, even if he is not loving you. God did. He loved us when we were unlovely. But that's God. I'm me. I know, but you are God's child and He can empower you to love an unlovely spouse. I've seen it many times. A wife chooses to speak her husband's love language, even though she doesn't feel loved by him. He warms up and in time begins expressing her love language. Can emotional love be re-born in a marriage? You bet. But someone must begin the process. Why not you? 4. Defensiveness reveals the inner self. A wife says, "Why does my husband get so defensive? All I have to do is mention that the grass needs mowing and he goes ballistic."This husband is revealing his self-esteem hot spot. Some experience in his past has tied his sense of self worth to mowing the grass. Your mention of the grass translates "She thinks I'm not doing my job. I work like crazy, and now she is on my case about the grass." He sees it as a negative statement about his worth. I know you didn't mean it that way. That's why I suggesting you observe his defensiveness, so that you can learn what is going on inside of him. We don't know these emotional hot spots until we touch one. It would be a good idea to make a list of all your husband's defensive reactions. Note what you said and did and how he responded. This insight will help you discover another way to discuss the topic that will be less threatening to his self-esteem. Both husbands and wives hold a tremendous influence on their spouse. However, it is up to you whether your influence is positive.
Before marriage, I dreamed about how happy I would be when we got married. I had visions of all the wonderful things my wife would do for me. Sausage and eggs together in the mornings. Candlelight dinners at night. Holding hands all day long and sex every night. I assumed that she had the same visions. But, after marriage I found out that my wife didn't do mornings. So much for the sausage and eggs. She anticipated that I would take her out to romantic restaurants for dinner, not as a prelude to sex, but simply because I loved her. I expressed my disappointment with her and she expressed her disappointment with me. We succeeded in being utterly miserable. Our marriage didn't turn around overnight, but it did turn around. And so can yours. I want to share the secret. It all has to do with attitude. Jesus' life and teachings focused on sacrificial service to others. He once said, "I did not come to be ministered to, but to minister." It is a theme that all truly great men and women of the past have affirmed. Life's greatest meaning is not found in getting, but in giving. This profound principle made a significant difference in my marriage. Developing an attitude of service is not easy but the rewards are overwhelmingly positive. Few people will run away from someone who is serving them. My wife was no exception. When I reached out to serve her, it wasn't long before she was reaching out to me. Jesus had it right! Why did it take me so long to learn? How would a wife respond to a husband who sincerely sought to serve her? In my desperation I was determined to find out. I set myself to discovering her needs and desires and sought to fulfill them. I began quietly and slowly to do some of the things she had requested in the past. You see, by now we were too estranged to talk about our relationship, but I could choose to take action on some of her previous complaints. I started washing dishes without being asked. I volunteered to fold the clothes. It seemed to me these where the kind of things Jesus might have done had He been married. When she made specific requests, I determined to respond cheerfully and if possible to do them. In less than three months, my wife's attitude toward me began to change. She came out of her shell of withdrawal and began to talk again. I think she sensed that my days of preaching were over and that my attitude toward her was changing. Genuine acts of service seldom go unrewarded. Before long, our hostility was gone, and we began to have positive feelings toward each other.You see, if I believe that it is more blessed to give than to receive; that serving my spouse is more important than being served; that my best end is found in making her life better, then it will affect the way I treat her. When she sees this attitude expressed in my behavior she knows that something has changed. If I am consistent, then service becomes a lifestyle. Most wives and husbands are attracted to someone who shows genuine concern for them. The person who follows the example of Jesus - in serving others, is on the road to greatness and to a growing marriage relationship.
I get emails from a website Dr. Gary Chapman. I just had to post some of these articles. They really seem to help me at certain times and I hope they may be of some help to others.
On the Road to Reconciliation Thousands of people experience marital separation every year. Many of them sincerely want to know, "What should I do, as a Christian?" First: Don't assume that separation equals divorce. Separation may lead to a restored, enriched, growing marriage. The individuals involved will determine the outcome of separation. Separation is not permanent. It either leads to resurrection or death. The Christian must always seek resurrection. This week, let's explore the possibilities of seeking reconciliation. Separation calls for intensive care, much like that given to those in grave physical danger. The condition of the marriage is "critical". Proper mediation is essential. Surgery may be required. That will call for the services of a counselor or pastor. What you do in the weeks following your separation will determine the quality of your life for years to come. Separation is not the time to capitulate. The battle for marital unity may just be beginning. Be assured, God is concerned about the outcome. You can count on Him for supernatural help. He will not abandon you in this time of pain. Separation means that a marriage is in desperate straits. Healing will require listening, understanding, discipline, change. But hard work can result in the joy of a restored marriage. I know that some of you are saying: "It sounds good, but it won't work. We've tried before. Besides, I don't think my spouse will even try again. I'm not even sure I want to try." I understand your feelings, but don't assume that the hostile attitude of your spouse will last forever, or that your own feelings are permanent. One of God's gifts to all of us is the gift of choice. We can change. Your spouse may be saying: "I'm through. It is finished. I don't want to talk about it." But three week or three months from now your spouse may be willing to talk. Much depends on what you do in the meantime, and much depends on your spouse's response to the Spirit of God. You pray. You work. You leave the results to God. When we chose to work on our marriages, we have all the help of God. God will not force your spouse to deal with issues and return to the marriage, but He will give you wisdom and strength as you seek to follow His will.Where do we turn for help when we are separated? For the Christian, there is one stable source to which we turn when we need guidance. That source is the Bible. In the Bible we find not only what we ought to do, but also the encouragement and power to do it. The words of Paul become our own: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13).When we turn to the Bible for guidance, we discover that the Bible calls us to seek reconciliation. Divorce is not God's desire. It is true that ultimately you cannot keep your spouse from divorcing you. Even God had to grant Israel a divorce because she refused to turn from her sinful ways (Jeremiah 3:8). But that was after years of seeking reconciliation. And even yet, God has not given up on Israel - there will be future reconciliation.So we must seek reconciliation. Even if our spouse ultimately refuses our efforts, we will have the satisfaction of knowing that we were faithful to the biblical ideal.


Instead of guessing about the honesty of your boyfriend husband or wife, you can take a few simple steps to protect yourself, save time and lay your worries to rest! As I have already said there are now literally hundreds of dating sites, there are also sites that are classed more as social media sites like Tagged than what would normally be called actual dating sites. Need a person really doesn't care, waiting to hide dating sites. Doug Collins, desperatetoknowthetruth, Visihow Admin. Home Articles Community My Profile. Profile Searcher will scout these sites and find out if your partner has created a hidden dating profile - this will confirm whether your partner is cheating with someone or not because let's be honest, if he or she has an account on dating sites, it's not really because they want to make friends there.


A couple of years back, one of my close friend told me that in the very first few initial meeting, she thought that i have got a lot of attitude and it's going to tough to be with me. But when we started knowing each other, she found me completely different. I gel up with people easily but when it comes to approach some one personally for the first time or in initial conversations, i hesitate to take the first step. But once i get in touch with one, i try to maintain our relationship loyally.
The other thing is, if i do not find a frequency match in thinking with someone, i try to maintain a distance between us. So that even if we do not agree on some point, we can share a healthy relationship. If you think this as i am giving you attitude, i don't care. I don't want to waste my time thinking in all these craps.
Recently i got to know that one of my colleagues was telling someone else the same thing. I have communicated him multiple times and found that we think exactly in two opposite directions which made me to communicate with him on very required topics. If he so thinks that we can be friend, why don't he talk to me directly.
Initially, when i leaned that what someone is talking about me on my back, i used to get annoyed as he/she is trying to ruin my name in public but after a few times, i realize, who knows me will not believe the other one and who don't know me why the hell should i explain this to them.
Now I am a person who really don't care what image people have about me and live the life as i want it to be like a free bird... ;)
Did you face the same thing ever?


Little D Man likes to keep his hands up by his face. This is not the best for the relationship between his face and his fingernails nor is it so much fun when trying to nurse, but when he’s just chilling on his dad’s lap, he prefers the casual rest on the fist pose. Or perhaps he’s practicing holding the phone to his ear that he’ll ask for once he gets to kindergarten. I told him he probably won’t talk on his first phone, just text, our whatever the hip thing he and his play group buddies will do in the future. He said, sure whatever mom.


I’ve been quiet this past week, going inside, feeling my feels, and letting others shield me for me. To catch you up, I had to let go of my best friend and bulldog Baxter one week ago today. The cancer began to show definite signs it was winning. He wasn’t suffering, he was growing weaker, and I didn’t want the suffering to begin. I was able to spend the day with him – loving him, taking his love in, and honoring the amazing dog that he was. The final moments of his life were filled with love and Beauty.
In his loss, I’ve been working on a really quite difficult version of gratitude – grateful for the years that I had with him and grateful we shared that time, thereby letting him go in love. It’s hard, I’m not going to lie. In letting go, we typically want to be selfish and keep that which we cherish near us. Letting go with gratitude allows us to let go of what we love and hold tight to the memories filled with love.
I had another moment of letting go in gratitude today that reminded me of this work. I lost a $20 bill. It fell out of my pocket somewhere between the store and home. When I realized it wasn’t in my pocket, my first thought was “Well, shit.”
But then I said a prayer. I asked the Sacred Ones to guide that $20 to someone that needs the money more than I or to someone that is feeling down on their luck and needed a change of tide. In that moment, with that simple prayer, I let go of Baxter. I fully gave his amazing spirit over to the universe to use – he was love and his spirit in the plane he reincarnates will be love again. Giving someone somewhere joy – much like the joy he gave to me.


Floral Valentines cards
Attention! Valentine's Day gift last minute for latecomers! Montgomery Fest proposes a floral gift integrated on a piece of cardboard and painted with messages of love that you can share everywhere. Simple and easy, with this card and a good experience, Valentine would be unforgettably romantic.


At a glance:
❤I`m the only one original and the other one like me you`ll never find! If you think that someone better then of course go look for it! I know my
and respect what nature has given.❤ I`m gentle, beautiful, with my smile I can charm you and turn you forever mine!
Like to give and get your love, I can not live loveless,caring, of caress.❤Join discount club and save0.90cent,min! Love Hot Vibes in FLC!ADore kind,Hottest and cute men`s with who i will feel Happy! ❤❤❤❤
What I'm doing in private:
WAITING ONLY AT SPECIAL TO MY HEART PPL`S WHO DESERVE LOVE!!!❤
Turns me On:
I like your eyes, they are a mirror of your soul! I love your smile, she gives gladness to me. Love, trust and sincerity, most important for me.
Turns me Off:
I`m not a cheap toy-treat with respect! I will never be your DOLL, and you are my puppeteer! all that you send to this world, you will get it!


This is for those of you who are looking for the right one, your soul-mate or for those of you who just like to go into chat rooms to see who's out there. I met my husband Liam in a yahoo chat room. He IMed me while he was at work. He's a Network/security Engineer, so any spare time he had he would talk to me online. He's from Dublin Ireland. (Irish guys rock!!) As our friendship grew deeper he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was going to meet him in Dublin but the plans fell through. He suggested to meet half way, in New York but that fell through too. Then he told me he would come to Hawaii to meet me but he could stay for only two weeks.
During those months of waiting until that day we could be together, we longed for each other. We spoke on the phone everyday for a few hours, really getting to know each other. We knew we were meant to be together, we were soul-mates, connected somehow. Then he asked me to marry him while we were online. I said yes:o) After talking about it in-depth, he decided he would quit his job, tell everyone good-bye, leave his country, and come to Hawaii to be married to a woman he's never met and live in a place he's never seen. Pretty radical huh!?! What a man huh!?! ;-) We were married shortly after he arrived.
We were created for one another, we fit together perfectly, we have so much fun together. We respect each other and communicate so well. He's a very special man and he makes me feel so deeply loved. To find your true love, that one that you belong with, is a gift from God, it comes from above. Never settle for anything less then that.


Nicky could no longer stand all the
embarrassment. She quickly stood up and ran to
the door,she wanted to run out but
unfortunately for her the door was locked.
Richard had locked it as soon as they got in.
She helplessly stood there not knowing what
else to do.
“Why can’t you admit it instead of running
“Admit what? She asked having her back at him.
” the fact that you love me ”
“I said those things because I was drunk,I didn’t
mean it”she lied.
” you were drunk? then why did you get
yourself drunk? ”
“It’s none of your business”
“You got yourself drunk because you love me
and you thought that I’m in love with someone
else, that’s the simple truth”
“Can you look me in the face and say that
again?” Richard said as he turned her around to
face him”now Nicky, look me in the eyes and tell
me you don’t have any feelings for me. Look
me in the eyes and tell me you didn’t love me
and I will open the door for you to go. Not only
that,I will also grant your request for resignation
Nicky became scared and confused at the same
time. She knew that she love him and would not
want to loose him but how can she admit that?
Does he mean what he said? Is it a strategy to
make her confess her love for him or does he
truly love her?
The fact that she talks a lot does not mean that
she should talk any how in this case. She really
have to be careful with her choice of word.
She played with her fingers and bit her lips as
she thought of what to say.
Richard watched every of her reaction and he
noticed she was finding it hard to admit the
“Ah I can now understand” he said.
“I can see that you want a kiss”
“What do you mean?”
“Your lips are itching you”
“If your lips itches you that means you want
someone to kiss you. Thank God I’m here” he
said letting out a smile.
“My lips are not itching me ”
“Then why are you biting it?Nicky why do you
always lie?why do you like lying? The highest lie
one could tell in this world is when you lie to
yourself and I know that’s exactly what you’re
doing now.Why can’t you be truthful and admit
the fact that you feel something for me?”
“Okay fine, yes I’m lying but why won’t I tell
lies Richard? Why won’t I hide my feeling from
you? Oh you want me to sing my love for you so
that you will mock me and play with me? So
that you will tell me that I’m not your type?
Please go to your girlfriend and leave my
feelings and I,I will get over whatever feelings I
have for you soon”
“You’re the only girlfriend I have and I know
that you would never get over the feelings you
have for me. No woman can do that, not even
you Nicky” he said as he came more closer to
“Believe me Richard I will” she said trying to
step back but he grabbed her.
“Okay let’s see what happens” he said as he
put his arms around her waist and began to kiss
At first she struggled to pull herself away from
him but his arms were so strong around her
that she couldn’t move. Seeing that there is
nothing she could do to stop him,to free herself
from his possessive grip, she succumbed. It was
then that it dawned on her that she could never
resist Richard. Finally she gave in and
reciprocated the romantic act.
“Yes Richard I have feeling for you but you
already have a girlfriend” she murmured amid
“She is not my girlfriend I have nothing to do
“So you even nag while kissing? Please allow me
to concentrate in what I’m doing” Richard said
as he extended the kiss to her neck, from her
neck to her chest!
Angel was so frustrated that Richard rejected
her after seeing her nakedness. That he chose
Nicky over her.
She contacted some guys who would eliminate
Richard and Nicky.
“If could not have him then no other person
would” Angel said to herself.
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1. 140 Ways to Strengthen Your Family Bond
The family bond is an essential part of life. It provides a sense of belonging, love, and support that no other relationship can provide. Strengthening your family bond is important for a healthy and happy family life. Here are 140 ways to strengthen your family bond:
1. Spend quality time together. Go on a family outing or plan a game night.
2. Show appreciation for each other by expressing your love and gratitude.
3. Take an interest in each other’s lives and be involved in the activities that each person does.
4. Make an effort to listen to each other and take the time to understand each other’s points of view.
5. Talk about topics that will bring your family closer, like shared memories and experiences.
6. Have regular family meetings to discuss family goals, values, and issues.
7. Involve each other in decisions and encourage everyone to voice their opinions.
8. Encourage open communication by being honest and avoiding criticism.
9. Make sure everyone has a chance to share their stories and ideas without judgment or interruption.
10. Take time to be silly together and laugh together often.
11. Exchange hugs and kisses often as a sign of love and affection.
12. Have regular family meals together to catch up on each other’s lives and enjoy each other’s company.
13. Get involved in activities that you can all enjoy as a family, such as sports, crafts, and outdoor adventures.
14. Display pictures of family members throughout the house to remind everyone how much they are loved.
15. Make sure each person is heard and respected by everyone else in the family, regardless of age or gender.
16. Have fun activities that can be done together, such as puzzles, board games, or card games.
17. Take turns sharing stories and experiences with one another that will bring your family closer together.
18. Play music together or sing songs as a way to spend time together and make memories.
19. Create a family scrapbook with photos, mementos, and stories that remind you of special times spent together as a family.
20. Show kindness to each other by helping out around the house, doing favors for one another, or simply offering words of encouragement when needed.
These are just some of the ways that you can strengthen your family bond and create an environment of love, understanding, and trust within your home. With these tips, you can work on creating a strong bond between your family members that will last for years to come!
2. Building Stronger Relationships: Tips for Creating a Positive Family Environment
Creating a positive family environment is an important part of developing strong relationships. It can be challenging to maintain a healthy and loving relationship with your family, but with the right strategies, it is possible. Here are some tips for building stronger relationships with your family:
First, spend quality time together. Make sure to carve out time each day to spend with your family. Whether it's eating dinner together, playing a game, or just talking about your day, quality time is essential for strengthening relationships.
Second, practice active listening. It's important that each member of the family feels heard and respected. By actively listening to each other and engaging in meaningful conversations, you can create an atmosphere of trust and understanding.
Third, show your appreciation for one another. Acknowledge your family members when they do something kind or helpful. Showing appreciation can make all the difference in creating a positive family atmosphere.
Fourth, focus on resolving conflicts in a healthy way. Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but it's important to address it in a constructive manner. Instead of arguing or resorting to name-calling, take the time to listen to each other's perspective and work together to find a solution that everyone can agree on.
Finally, create family traditions and rituals. Establishing traditions like having movie nights or going on vacation together can create memories that will last a lifetime. These traditions will help to strengthen the bond between family members and create a sense of unity.
By following these tips, you can create a positive and loving environment in your family. Stronger relationships with your family members will not only make life more enjoyable, but also provide you with emotional support throughout your life.
3. Developing a Positive Family Atmosphere: Ideas for Creating Strong Bonds
Creating a positive family atmosphere is essential for developing strong bonds and ensuring the happiness of all family members. A family atmosphere that is full of joy, respect, and support can bring everyone closer together and create a safe and comfortable environment for all.
There are a few key ideas for developing a positive family atmosphere. The first is to make sure that each family member has enough quality time together. This can be done by scheduling regular family meals, outings, or activities. Quality time together will help foster open communication, create a sense of closeness, and allow each family member to express themselves.
Another way to create a positive family atmosphere is to practice active listening. This involves listening carefully to what each member has to say, without judgment or criticism. When everyone feels heard and appreciated, it can build trust and encourage meaningful conversations.
It’s also important to encourage positive behavior in the family. This means setting clear rules and expectations, while providing positive reinforcement when those rules are followed. Positive behavior will help ensure that everyone feels respected, which can create an overall more positive family atmosphere.
Finally, it’s important to remember to show affection and appreciation for each other often. This can be done through physical touches like hugs, words of affirmation like “I love you”, or by engaging in fun activities together like playing games or taking walks. Showing affection and appreciation will let each family member know that they are loved and cared for, which can help create strong bonds between them.
Developing a positive family atmosphere is essential for creating strong bonds and ensuring the happiness of all family members. By making sure that each family member has enough quality time together, practicing active listening, encouraging positive behavior, and showing affection and appreciation for each other often, families can create an environment full of joy, respect, and support.
4. Essential Strategies for Growing a Supportive Family Dynamic
Having a strong and supportive family dynamic is essential for any family's overall health and happiness. Building a nurturing and caring environment can take time, effort and dedication, but the rewards are well worth it. Here are some strategies for helping to build and maintain a supportive family dynamic:
1. Make Communication a Priority: Open and honest communication is the foundation of any successful relationship, including family relationships. Being able to talk openly and honestly about emotions, ideas and opinions can help foster understanding and respect. Establishing a comfortable and safe atmosphere where everyone can express themselves without fear of judgement or criticism is essential.
2. Spend Quality Time Together: Families who spend quality time together are more likely to have a strong bond. Take the time to enjoy each other’s company, whether it’s playing board games, going for walks or simply sitting down for a meal together. Make sure everyone has a chance to participate and contribute to the activities.
3. Practice Compassion and Empathy: It’s important to be aware of each family member’s needs, feelings and opinions, as well as their individual strengths and weaknesses. Showing compassion, kindness and empathy can help create an atmosphere of understanding and acceptance.
4. Establish Rules and Boundaries: Having clear rules and boundaries is important for creating a secure environment where everyone can thrive. Establishing boundaries helps everyone feel safe and respected, while also providing structure and guidance.
5. Celebrate Achievements: Acknowledge each family member’s successes, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem. Celebrate accomplishments with praise, hugs or even a simple pat on the back to show how proud you are of them.
By putting these strategies into practice, families can build strong relationships that promote understanding, trust and connection. This will help create an environment where everyone feels safe, supported and accepted.
5. Enhancing Communication for a Closer and More Connected Family
Effective communication within a family is essential for relationships to thrive and for everyone to feel connected. It’s not always easy to communicate in a way that everyone can understand, but there are ways to improve your family’s communication.
The first step is to create an environment that is open and inviting for everyone to express themselves. This means setting aside time for family meetings or conversations where everyone can feel comfortable talking about their feelings, thoughts, and experiences. It’s also important to be mindful of body language, tone, and word choice when communicating.
An additional way to enhance communication is by teaching children the importance of active listening. Active listening is a skill that involves being attentive and understanding what someone is saying without interrupting or imposing your own opinion. By teaching children active listening skills, they’ll be better equipped to understand and respond appropriately to others.
Another way to promote effective communication within a family is by showing respect and empathy for each other. Respect and empathy can help create an atmosphere where people feel comfortable expressing themselves without fear of judgement or criticism. When people are treated with respect and understanding, it can help open up conversations and build trust.
Finally, it’s important to practice self-care when communicating with family members. Taking time to step back and reflect on the conversation can help you stay calm and centered when having difficult discussions. By taking care of yourself, you’ll be better equipped to stay focused and on track with your conversations.
Enhancing communication within a family can help create a closer and more connected environment for everyone involved. By creating an open space for communication, teaching active listening skills, showing respect and empathy, and practicing self-care, your family can benefit from stronger relationships and healthier communication.


When thinking of their relationship with you, do your customers think “We,” or “Us & Them?”
So starts Steve Yastrow’s new book, We: The Ideal Customer Relationship. With a fresh, provocative look at how to connect with customers, Yastrow, a leading marketing thinker and consultant, helps readers understand how to differentiate their businesses in a meaningful way.
Customers have more product and service choices than ever before, making it very difficult for customers to distinguish your business solely on the merit of your product and service offerings. What can differentiate your business in the minds of customers, however, is the relationship the customer has with you. A competitor may sell a similar product, but the relationship you have with each customer can be unique.
And what is the best kind of customer relationship? A “We” relationship, where the customer sees you not as a vendor or a provider, but as a collaborator. Through interviews, research, ideas and insights, Yastrow offers a roadmap to better results through better customer relationships. In this book, you will read about …
How to create relationship-building encounters, instead of relationship-eroding transactions
- How to connect multiple customer encounters into an ongoing conversation that creates a strong We relationship
- The power of We among many – a relationship between many people in your organization and your customers
We is both a manifesto and a how-to guide that will change the way you interact with customers … and change the way your customers think about you.


The Top 10 Best Couples in the Cosmere
By: Preston Simmons | Written: March 11th, 2022
Love In the Cosmere
Brandon Sanderson’s Cosmere is a massive universe filled with many different characters. Romance and love between the characters are often a driving force in many Cosmere stories. Sometimes, love is complicated. Other times, the love is solid and fulfilling. But which couples in the Cosmere have the best relationship?
Note: To appear on the list, the two people have to be in a legitimate relationship. Although love can be shown in many non-romantic ways, to qualify for this list, the characters either have to be an established couple or are basically in a relationship even if they haven’t put a label on it (yet).
Without further ado, here are the top 10 best couples in the Cosmere!
RELATED: The Best Cosmere Reading Order!
*Warning: spoilers for the Cosmere novels ahead!*
#10 – Breeze and Allrianne (From Mistborn Era 1)
Breeze and Allrianne have one of the most complicated relationships in the Cosmere that is somehow also one of the strongest. At first, Breeze insisted on keeping his relationship with Allrianne a secret due to their vast age gap. However, Allrianne was the exact opposite and wanted everyone to know how much she loved her “Breezy.”
When Breeze first met Allrianne, it was her that pursued him. “Pursued” was used lightly as it turned out that Allrianne, like Breeze, was a powerful allomancer able to riot the emotions in people. She used her ability to enhance Breeze’s attraction to her and eventually make him fall in love.
Ironically, that made their relationship even more substantial as Breeze began to respect Allrianne even more because her abilities mirror his own. Through the books, Breeze often goes out of his way to protect Allrianne through his actions and vice-versa.
Off-screen, we know that their relationship lasted well after the series ended because eventually, we are introduced to their descendant Wax Ladrian in Mistborn Era 2!
#9 – Jasnah and Wit (From the Stormlight Archive)
Jasnah and Wit are one of the best couples in the Cosmere because of how well their personalities mesh with one another. Jasnah is a strong-willed, quick-witted, intelligent thinker who would rather debate philosophy and battle with words than her shardblade. Wit is all of those things, and more. He’s always the most intelligent person in the room, would instead use his words than his fists (though he’s not opposed to showing his strength when necessary), and is more than anything, a storyteller.
Simply put, they are the power couple I didn’t know I needed until I had it.
Though they are a couple and work so well with one another, they are so low on the list because there is not much love in the relationship, if any at all. The relationship feels more like a partnership based more on mutual respect for the other’s mind than the actual person’s love.
For example, if Jasnah ever came in the way of Wit’s ultimate goals, I wouldn’t put it past him to kill her. Likewise, if Wit ever got in the way of Jasnah’s goals, I feel like she would throw him away without a second thought.
But as long as their goals align, the two together feel nearly unstoppable.
#8 – Wayne and Melaan (From Mistborn Era 2)
Wayne and MeLaan are one of the cutest couples in the Cosmere that aren’t technically dating (though they are pretty much a couple in everything but name). Their dynamic together is what makes them a perfect pair. The only minor problem is that there are a few hundred years in age difference between the two of them, and the small fact that one of them isn’t human doesn’t stop them from making the arrangement work.
Wayne is notorious for being eccentric with tons of weird quirks. While Wayne’s antics turn most people entirely off, MeLaan loves them. Together, the two of them create a goofy, dorky, and adorable pair that can’t keep their hands off each other more often than not.
Hopefully, their relationship will become official in the upcoming book The Lost Metal.
#7 – Sazed and Tindwyl (From Mistborn Era 1)
Sazed and Tindwyl are one of the best couples in the Cosmere because there is so much respect between them. Sazed admires Tindwyl because of her immense strength in her past by doing her duty as a Terris breeder even though she loathed for her body to be used like that. Sazed also loved her intelligence and strong-willed personality, a quality he hoped she could help give to Elend.
Tindwyl loved and respected Sazed for his strength to never give in, being strong like the wind, willing to bend, but never apologetic for showing firmness. Though Sazed was an incredible influence on Vin and Kelsier (as well as his crew), Tindwyl understood him more than anyone else.
However, their relationship took a long while to get started, so they are so low on the list. Sazed often disappointed Tindwyl for being a rebel and not living up to her potential in him. Sazed was disappointed in Tindwyl for her stubbornness and unwillingness to see his point of view. It was often a cause for heated arguments between the couple. So, although they fought a lot, they loved each other entirely at the end of the day.
#6 – Raoden and Sarene (From Elantris)
Raoden and Sarene’s relationship is one of the most interesting because it was built on true love gained over time rather than with an immediate infatuation with either member.
As a “cursed” Elantrian, Raoden physically looked deformed and almost zombie-like. He was sickly looking and completely unappealing compared to how he once looked like the Prince. However, his personality remained unchanged, and he was strong and confident. Sarene could see past his appearance and love him for who he was rather than what he looked like.
Ironically enough, Raoden was previously betrothed to Sarene; though they had never met in person, they fell in love with one another through their writings. So, when they did meet for the first time, she had no idea that the Elantrian man was Raoden.
Raoden, on the other hand, realized who Sarene was and was able to fall in love with her for her kindness and desire to help people. He also recognized her political genius and appreciated her intelligence. Together, they made a powerful couple.
#5 – Siri and Susebron (From Warbreaker)
Siri and Susebron are among the best couples in the Cosmere because of their strong mutual love for one another. For Siri, Susebron is someone she desires to protect and care for.
She recognized his kindness and appreciated his strong moral compass while also realizing that even though he is the God-King, in reality, he’s a victim of the T’Telir society like her. Her love for him allowed her to teach him to read and write, and through that, their relationship became so strong that she realized that Susebron knew more about the real her than anyone else, including her sister.
Susebron came to love Siri more than anyone else, and to him, she was the most important person in his life. She taught him to think for himself, read and write, and become a functioning person, something that he appreciated immensely. Siri became Susebron’s source of happiness, and Susebron became hers.
#4 – Wax and Steris (From Mistborn Era 2)
Wax and Steris are one of the best couples in the Cosmere because they make one of the best teams. Although Steris isn’t a fighter like Wax, she acts as his emotional backbone and helps keep him grounded. On the other hand, Wax helps break Steris out of her shell, allowing her to open up and experience the world unlike she has ever done before.
What makes their relationship so good is that Wax and Steris might have the most growth as a couple out of all the couples on the list. At first, neither liked each other very much. Their marriage was more of a business transaction rather than out of love. But after getting to know one another, they could share their vulnerabilities and truly fall in love.
Steris became Wax’s number one supporter and a necessary element in his life. Without Steris, Wax would have crumbled and become lost in his depression. Through Wax, Steris learned to open up and begin to love herself. It was only through Steris’s love and support that Wax made it as far as he did.
In other words, they both bring the best out of each other, making them perfect for one another.
#3 – Shallan and Adolin (From the Stormlight Archive)
Shallan and Adolin’s relationship is unique in that it’s one of the most challenging but also strong. In a way, Adolin’s love for Shallan is one of the strongest and most affectionate in the Stormlight Archive. Shallan has a physical manifestation of a split personality disorder, frequently changing in both appearance and personality at a whim.
For many, this would be a major dealbreaker. Shallan would often change personalities mid-sentence, yet somehow, Adolin can love Shallan even if her lightweaver abilities turn her into entirely different people. In a way, Adolin has acted as Shallan’s caretaker and anchor to reality. He is Shallan’s light in the dark, and without him, she would be lost.
Shallan can recognize how much Adolin means to her. She loves him wholeheartedly and values him as a person. Shallan is also able to bring the best out of Adolin. She helps him grow out of his father’s shadow and is always there for him when he needs her support. She shares his burdens with him, and he shares hers. Though they are flawed, they are one of the best couples in the Cosmere.
#2 – Vin and Elend (From Mistborn Era 1)
Vin and Elend are one of the two best couples in the Cosmere. Their love for one another is so strong that often both feel like they aren’t worthy of each other. Vin, at one point, believed that she wasn’t good enough for him because she was too strong and often scary in the way she dealt with enemies. Elend, at one point, thought he was too unimportant and uninteresting for someone as powerful and incredible as Vin.
But the common theme was that while both were afraid they weren’t good enough for each other, they still in their hearts wanted what was best for the other person. Vin’s only desire was to see Elend happy and safe. Elend’s only desire was to be with Vin and live a life with her.
In the end, Elend and Vin became each other’s reasons to live. Their love for one another was one of the strongest in the series, and for that reason, they are one of the best couples in the Cosmere.
#1 – Dalinar and Navani (From The Stormlight Archive)
Dalinar and Navani are the best couples in the Cosmere. Their relationship is what I believe to be the closest to perfect in the entire 22 book series.
The pair are perfect for each other. They compliment one another’s strengths and weaknesses; they are so similar while also being independent and strong on their own. Their trust for one another is unlike any other couple in the Cosmere. When Dalinar was at his lowest point, Navani was there by his side. Likewise, when Navani was at her lowest point, Dalinar was there for her.
A relationship should not be one-sided or dominated by one person. It is a partnership between two people. Dalinar and Navani make a great pair that work so well together. Navani makes Dalinar stronger, and Dalinar supports Navani to be the best person she can be. Their maturity and wisdom while coming up with solutions to the struggles they face on Roshar make them a perfect team.
Together, they are the best couple in the Cosmere.
These are the best couples in the Cosmere. Though most of the couples had their fair share of issues and some points during their relationship, their love for one another overcame the obstacles they faced.


Matchmaking Entrepreneur, Based in Bangalore
Rush2me was started with a novel concept to brings together people interested in finding a spouse with the criteria of horoscope, emotional, intellectual and lifestyle compatibility rather than caste, community or language. Rush2me is an offline service with a personalized approach (we are not a portal).
Started as a favor between friends, it has grown by word-of mouth and personal recommendation into a professional service for a niche clientele.
Rush2me clients are educated, well settled professionally, broad-minded, has traveled (or wants to travel), enjoys a wide range of hobbies/interests – and has a certain zest for life, living, and love.
There are of course many matrimonial matchmaking services today, but most of them are based on the user having to do the searching based on a few criteria – a query-driven search model. Rush2me is totally different – for one, we do not offer online matchmaking at all. Secondly, we are very personalized and place a lot of emphasis on meeting – or at least talking – directly with the clients as we believe that an application form is just a starting point and not everyone expresses themselves easily on paper.
Nitin & Olivia
It is not easy to find an ideal person for marriage but Rush2me make it easy for me. Here I found my soul mate. Thank you Rush2me.
Johny & Rosy
Rush2me matched our profile. We liked each other and eventually we fall in love. Now we are life partner and from there on rest is happiness forever.
Mark & Julia
We are very thankful to Rush2me because without you we can not find each other. We expressed our interest and found that we liked each other. Finally we get married.
John & Desy
We met through Rush2me. Now we spend our married life happily. We gladly recommend Rush2me. It’s a very reliable and a perfect match maker.
Harry & Suzan
I found my soulmate on Rush2me. We started our mutual interest and felt a connection between us. Then we decided walk together for the rest of our life.
David & Maria
We mate on Rush2me. We shared 2 years of togetherness and we are very happy. We stood by each other for the rest of our life. Thanks Rush2me.


The connection between continuum emission and emission lines in galaxy spectra
Keywords:emission lines, galaxy spectra, machine learning
We present a machine learning procedure to investigate the connection between emission lines and the spectral continuum in the spectrum of galaxies that is agnostic with respect to the source of line excitation: star formation or nuclear activity. We know a priori that there is some connection between a galaxy continuum and its pattern of emission lines. We explore this connection with a deep learning model, establishing a mapping between the galactic continuum and the equivalent emission line widths for the sample discussed by Werle et al. (2019) of SDSS galaxies with GALEX photometry. We showed that we are able to estimate equivalent widths with good accuracy and, consequently, we were able to partially reproduce the BPT diagram. This suggests that there is indeed a relationship between the source of ionization responsible for the emission lines and the stellar populations that produce the galactic continuum.


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June 5, 2019 Newsletter
In this issue...
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Connect with Parents
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From NSPRA Resource Files
TSPRA members Kristin Snively, Grapevine-Colleyville ISD and Joel Weckerly, CyFair ISD, proudly represented Texas a… https://t.co/YfMgQnF47l


The Engaging Moms Program (EMP) is a gender-specific, family-based intervention designed to help substance-abusing mothers participating in drug court maintain their parental rights. The program helps mothers demonstrate they can be reunited with their children. It provides mothers the tools and services to comply with all court orders, attend court sessions, remain drug-free, and demonstrate the capacity to parent their children, thereby helping them to succeed in drug court. Program components support program theory that change can occur in six core areas to achieve sobriety and adequately care for children. These core areas include: motivation and commitment to success in drug court and change life around for children; support the emotional attachment between mother and her children; foster relationship between mother and her family of origin; support and improve parenting skills, support healthy romantic relationships, foster healthy emotional regulation, problem solving and communication skills.


Valentine’s Day also dubbed “Singles Awareness Day” is a holiday met with many mixed feelings. Those who aren’t in a relationship regard it sort of begrudgingly and those who are in one, either play along and go down the romantic route, or dismiss its overtly materialistic and commercial nature. In any case, the topic of love comes up and we’re either in a position where we feel we have it or we don’t. And for those who are single, it becomes a glaringly obvious reminder that they are not in a romantic relationship. Unfortunately that’s conflated with some notion of lacking love in their life. And, that’s where I’m going to press the pause button.
(Photo by Mike Baird)
I don’t like being didactic or coming across as all-knowing, but I strongly feel that I have some insight on the matter of finding love. And, even if this is really just my naïveté making an appearance, I feel highly compelled to share this.
Love is not something that comes from outside of you. It’s not born anywhere else, but within you. Yes, we’ve all heard this time and again. I mean we all know that we have to, “love ourselves first.” But, this is the reality of how you find love:
First, you begin to cultivate the love within yourself.
Second, you use that love to help raise your vibrations to the point where you feel so full of love that you feel fulfilled within your being. This entails, raising your vibrations to the level of joy. Some people have a lot of work to undertake here to remove layers upon layers to get to that place, while some people are already there.
By this point, you feel so satisfied with existence as it is, that you no longer “need” a relationship. You could take one or leave one and would rather not bother if it doesn’t feel “just right”. That’s where you want to be. Because when you’re in a place where you feel fulfilled and so content with life with our without a romantic partner, you are most ripe to enter into a relationship that will flourish… not a relationship where there is co-dependency, or massive walls guarding you, or where you or the partner you’ve attracted are trying to fulfill their own needs through the other.
The latter examples occur when we want to enter a relationship from the standpoint of longing and need.
Magical things happen when you are in a place where you are so filled with joy, love and life that you feel satisfied and fulfilled. When you’ve let go of the need to attract a mate, you’ve opened up a space to attract the right person for you, rather than someone who needs you to fill their areas of insufficiency or vice versa. It might take months. Heck, it could take years! But, let me tell you the time it takes becomes less relevant as you come to know yourself and develop higher vibrations and higher satisfaction for life in that process.
So, I urge you, if you are single and longing for a mate to give it a rest, work on yourself, love yourself, work on your blockages, find fulfillment in life in your own being and let the universe take care of the rest. This is the best prescription to finding love.
© 2013, Melina Schetakis. All rights reserved.


Traditionally, Marketing and Finance departments haven't had the most obvious partnership. But when these two groups open a dialogue, great things can happen that benefit both groups.
We put together this graphic to show three of the most important topics that can arise out of a meaningful exchange between the CMO and CFO.
Why should marketers care about starting these conversations? Read on to find out!