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It’s one of the most romantic days of the year, but we often fall into the same routine of flowers and chocolates every year on Valentine’s Day. If you’re looking to spice up your Valentine’s Day a little bit this year, then we’re here to help. Here are some fun Valentine’s Day date ideas to keep things interesting.
One of our favorite Valentine’s Day date ideas is to create a set of riddles that leads your significant other around town to find various clues. End at a romantic spot where you both can relax for the rest of the evening.
If you want to give your significant other something that they can enjoy for longer than just the day, consider putting together a book of date coupons that they can use throughout the year.
If it’s been awhile since the two of you have gone on a trip together, think about planning a surprise trip for your significant other. Be sure to call into their work to make sure that they are able to get time off. If they can, pack their bags and surprise them on Valentine’s Day.
Most importantly, no matter what you decide to do, enjoy the time that you have with your significant other.


The Sacrament of Matrimony (or Christian Marriage,) like all of the sacraments, is a visible expression of God’s ongoing presence in the world and an example of the kind of love God has for each of us. In Christian Marriage, a husband and wife form a covenant of committed, unconditional and caring love and they invite Christ to be a partner with them in that covenant.
The unconditional nature of a covenant is different from that of a contract which requires that certain conditions be met by each partner in order for the contract to be valid. The Church teaches that the Sacrament of Matrimony mirrors God’s covenant of love with his people.” God’s love for us is unconditional, eternal, exclusive, and faithful, in good times and bad, in sickness and health.
Christian Marriage is considered uniquely life giving. A husband and wife share the privilege of procreating new life. And the surprises and trials of marriage provide countless opportunities to grow in holiness.
If you are interested in getting married at the Cathedral, please follow this process:


In November 2014 the 5th Australia-China Youth Dialogue (ACYD) was held in Beijing. The ACYD brings together Chinese and Australian young leaders to further understanding in the relationship between the two countries. I was pleased to participate in this year’s Dialogue by organizing the energy and climate change session, having been an Australian delegate in 2013.
Both Dialogues were terrific events. The documentaries below give a sense of them.


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Using the thongs as a symbol of pasts/present sexual relationships, each statement embodied on them sums up what I felt in these encounters. The idea of love and lust isn’t new in art, but in an age where sex is as simple to get from an app, does it muddy the waters of love? Does each sexual encounter have to have an emotional connection or can it does be a simple fuck? As each notch we add to our bed does this intimate act you can share with a loved one become just a sexual hobby, and if so, is there an issue?
© Copyright of Cherish Marshall
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How far will one man go to earn back the trust of the woman he loves?
Dana Di Grazio has overcome emotional and physical pain all her life. After weeks of caring for injured motocross rider, Peter Fontenot, she’s slowly learned to trust again.
But when the man she’s given her heart to storms out of her life with no excuses, she’s left feeling abandoned and alone, unworthy of love.
Motocross rider, Peter Fontenot, is faced with a choice – stay with the one woman who’s captured his heart or fulfill his family’s unreasonable obligations.
When a ghost from his past threatens Dana’s life in unimaginable ways, will Peter be able to reconcile with his family in order to save her? Or will his declaration of love be too late?
Dana may be capable of forgiveness, but when the one man who broke her heart asks for a second chance, will she find the strength to trust him again?


David Coverdale & Jimmy Page
Выпущена в 1993 году на альбоме «Coverdale • Page»
I’m sick and tired And lonely, Sitting in my room, Staring at the shadows, Blowing smoke rings at the moon... Every night I try, But, every night I cry Trying to work out why, I just wanna know, got to know, Why you keep on pushin’ me, baby... You love me when you want And take me when you need, Whatever you say to me, baby, Makes my poor heart bleed... Now I don’t wanna win, But, I don’t wanna lose An’ I don't wanna be alone no more... no more I just wanna give you love... I just gotta give you love... But, you keep on giving love, You give another man your love... Ooh, baby, don’t you leave me this way... I never want to hurt you, Don’t wanna tie you down, But, every time I take a look in the mirror I can see the heartache hangin’ round... I’m going down, to the ground, Why you always wanna oring me down... Baby, baby, why do you always bring me down ’Cos, you keep on giving love, You give another man your love... Baby, baby, don’t you leave me this way... Don’t you leave me, baby, My heart is aching, My heart is breaking for you,.. And I can’t take it anymore... I'm sick and tired And lonely, Nothing left to say, Just thinking 'bout you, baby, Takes all my night and day... All my nights... all my days... Baby, you take my breath away... 'Cos, you keep on giving love, You give another man your love... Baby, baby, don’t you leave me this way I can’t stop my love from falling down. I wanna love you in the morning, Wanna love you in the evening time... Don’t you leave me, baby... Don't you ever leave me, baby...


My husband and I were discussing the differences in perspective , attitude, reactions, etc. between man and woman. Or rather I was discussing, he was listening. Or rather I was discussing, I think he was listening. Then we pulled up behind a car with this bumper sticker; " My wife says I never listen to what she says...or something like that." ! Hmm... how timely. We both laughed.
You know there are a lot of differences between how a man and woman relate to any manner of situations. Those differnces can and do cause a lot of frustration, disappointment and hurt in a marriage.
How many of us have asked the question at some time or another, "Why if God intended a man and woman to live in harmony, did he make them so different? If I am supposed to live in peace with my husband , why are there so many things we are opposites in?"
I have felt the frustration of that question, but as my hubby and I were discussing the other day, it is those very differences that make up a good marriage.
God created male and female in His own image. Gen. 1 :27 . Gen 2:18 says God saw that it was not good for man to be alone and made him an help suitable for him. Verse 29 of the same chapter says "and they shall be one flesh". It is in the union before God of man and woman that we become a whole creation. Eph 5: 31 gives the same thought.
So why did He make us so different? Not to be an endless frustration to us. Not to tax our christian charity. Not to give fodder for husband and wife jokes. He made us different to complete each other.
Anything with balance must have differences. It is in our opposites that we together become completely whole. Consider for a moment, if we both were very emotional who would we lean on to be strong and sane? If we both got angry easily, who would calm us down? If we both were pessimistic who would show us the bright side? if we both like to shop who would help us save us money? If we both liked to be on the go, who would stay home and get anything done? If we both were hermits, who would help us make new friends? If we both hated to ask for directions, how would get anywhere? If we both felt discouraged at the same time, who would lift us up? If we both always felt the same about discipline of the children, who would offer some restraint if we were too harsh or who would give some order if we were too lenient? ....We could go on and on.
We can allow are differences to pull us apart and withdraw into ourselves, or we can recognize God gave me this person because I needed those differences to balance me out. We need their strengths and, yes, we need their weaknesses. Together we make a team, a whole, a complete creation in God.
If we fight it, we break apart. If we bend , we blend. It's that simple! Rejoice in the opposites of husband and wife for that is how God intended it. " And God saw everything He made and behold it was very good" Praise our Father for His wonderful wisdom!!!!


The sexual abuse by women of children and teenagers
The sexual abuse of children by women was once thought to be so rare it could be ignored. Today the victims tell a different story.
Effects of Divorce and Separation on Children:
Safe Cities Project looks for ways to make the Gold Coast a safer place to live.
The Effects of Divorce and Separation on Children
During the seventies and eighties, popular opinion and research of the day tried desperately to prove that children did not suffer any ill-effects from separation and divorce. Some later researchers, even though acknowledging separation does affect children, were keen to show the damage children suffer takes place during the conflict before separation and that divorce provides some relief.
British 1994 CTS Domestic Violence Survey shows more married men are victims …
A 12-item scale, derived from the Conflict Tactics Scale, was administered to a representative sample of 1,978 heterosexual men and women in Great Britain in mid November 1994. Men and women were asked to identify conflict tactics sustained or inflicted in all past and present relationships and those sustained in current relationships. This paper reports results for physical victimization and also reports on two further questions asked to discern context and meaning ascribed to such sustained or inflicted victimization. Both sexes reported having experienced physical victimization with a higher percentage of men sustaining victimization, mainly as a result of minor acts of assault. Almost equal percentages of men and women reported inflicting victimization against partners. Additionally, incidence of physical victimization is presented according to relationship status, age, socioeconomic category and by regional distribution. Both sexes reported a range of reasons or contexts ascribed to their sustained or inflicted victimization.


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Why wait for death to gather your loved ones around you? A Living Funeral is a celebration of your life and the journey that you have shared with others.
Why wait for death to tell your terminally ill friend or family member that you love them and say good-bye? Why wait for death to have a beautiful ceremony and tell those heartwarming stories?
Consider a Living Funeral as a golden opportunity to gather family and friends together to say farewell, give away the treasures of a lifetime, sing those touching songs and say what is in your heart.
A living funeral gives the person a chance to come to terms with their death and make peace with themselves and others. The living funeral gives surviving friends and family a chance to share their grief with others.
Everyone is happier for having had the chance to share beautiful words and memories about the loved one . This is an very comforting and touching, often humorous occasion that leaves everyone smiling and feeling better, although undoubtedly a sad one.


No fucking way! I’m so surprised. I did not see this coming…
Date someone who meets you half way. Date someone who brings you a glass a water when they get themselves one. Date someone who makes sure you don’t spend money on ridiculous things. Date someone your ex hates and your mom loves. Date someone who’d rather spend a Friday night watching movies, than out with 50 people they barley even talk to. Date someone who sleeps on your chest and leaves a little puddle of drool. Don’t date someone who makes you leave oceans of tears.
Being a nice person is so fun
Waiter messes something up? You can see the relief on their faces when you don’t scream and swear at them about it
Extra tickets at an arcade/prize place? Watch a little kid’s face light up when you give them a bunch of tickets
There are too many assholes in this world. Be a nice person.
- Gemini (zodiacsociety)


Celebrating your child’s First Communion is an important and special occasion that can be marked in many meaningful ways. Here are some ideas for celebrating your child’s First Communion:
- Host a special meal: Consider hosting a special meal or reception after the First Communion Mass. This can be a wonderful way to bring family and friends together to celebrate your child’s special day.
- Take photos: Take photos before and after the First Communion Mass to capture memories of the special day. You could even hire a professional photographer to take family photos or portraits of your child in their First Communion attire.
- Create a memory book: Create a memory book with photos, quotes, and special memories from the day. This can be a wonderful keepsake for your child to cherish for years to come.
- Give a special gift: Consider giving your child a special gift to commemorate their First Communion. This could be a piece of religious jewelry, a prayer book, or a personalized Bible.
- Attend Mass together: Attend Mass together as a family to celebrate your child’s First Communion. This can be a great way to reinforce the importance of the sacrament and continue the celebration throughout the day.
- Plan a special outing: Plan a special outing or activity with your child to celebrate their First Communion. This could be a trip to a favorite restaurant, a day at an amusement park, or a family hike.
- Give back to the community: Consider volunteering or making a donation to a charity in honor of your child’s First Communion. This can be a wonderful way to teach your child about the importance of giving back and to celebrate the sacrament in a meaningful way.
Ultimately, the most important thing is to make the celebration meaningful and memorable for your child and your family.


A collection of articles written on gay marriage since it became legalized in Scandinavia. (In Denmark since 1989). What are the statistics? What are the Pros and Cons? Did Gay Marriage hurt Straight Marriage?
Did gay marriage destroy
heterosexual marriage in Scandinavia?
This week, Massachusetts began handing out marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Amid the cheers, there are the doomsayers who predict that same-sex weddings will mean the end of civilization as we know it. Conservative religious leader James Dobson warns that Massachusetts is issuing “death certificates for the institution of marriage.” And conservative pundit Stanley Kurtz claims to have found the “proof” that the institution will see its demise: Gay marriage helped to kill heterosexual marriage in Scandinavia. Indeed, Kurtz has become a key figure in the marriage debate: He and his statistics have been taken up by conservatives to support their argument that gay unions threaten heterosexual marriage. He has shown up in Congressional hearings, lawsuit filings, newspapers, debates, and anti-gay marriage videos across the country.
But Kurtz’s smoking gun is really just smoke and mirrors. Reports of the death of marriage in Scandinavia are greatly exaggerated; giving gay couples the right to wed did not lead to massive matrimonial flight by heterosexuals.
Currently there are nine European countries that give marital rights to gay couples. In Scandinavia, Denmark (1989), Norway (1993), Sweden (1994), and Iceland (1996) pioneered a separate-and-not-quite-equal status for same-sex couples called “registered partnership.” (When they register, same-sex couples receive most of the financial and legal rights of marriage, other than the right to marry in a state church and the right to adopt children.) Since 2001, the Netherlands and Belgium have opened marriage to same-sex couples.
Despite what Kurtz might say, the apocalypse has not yet arrived. In fact, the numbers show that heterosexual marriage looks pretty healthy in Scandinavia, where same-sex couples have had rights the longest. In Denmark, for example, the marriage rate had been declining for a half-century but turned around in the early 1980s. After the 1989 passage of the registered-partner law, the marriage rate continued to climb; Danish heterosexual marriage rates are now the highest they’ve been since the early 1970’s. And the most recent marriage rates in Sweden, Norway, and Iceland are all higher than the rates for the years before the partner laws were passed. Furthermore, in the 1990s, divorce rates in Scandinavia remained basically unchanged.
Of course, the good news about marriage rates is bad news for Kurtz’s sky-is-falling argument. So, Kurtz instead focuses on the increasing tendency in Europe for couples to have children out of wedlock. Gay marriage, he argues, is a wedge that is prying marriage and parenthood apart.
The main evidence Kurtz points to is the increase in cohabitation rates among unmarried heterosexual couples and the increase in births to unmarried mothers. Roughly half of all children in Norway, Sweden, and Denmark are now born to unmarried parents. In Denmark, the number of cohabiting couples with children rose by 25 percent in the 1990s. From these statistics Kurtz concludes that ” … married parenthood has become a minority phenomenon,” and—surprise—he blames gay marriage.
But Kurtz’s interpretation of the statistics is incorrect. Parenthood within marriage is still the norm—most cohabitating couples marry after they start having children. In Sweden, for instance, 70 percent of cohabiters wed after their first child is born. Indeed, in Scandinavia the majority of families with children are headed by married parents. In Denmark and Norway, roughly four out of five couples with children were married in 2003. In the Netherlands, a bit south of Scandinavia, 90 percent of heterosexual couples with kids are married.
Kurtz is also mistaken in maintaining that gay unions are to blame for changes in heterosexual marriage patterns. In truth, the shift occurred in the opposite direction: Changes in heterosexual marriage made the recognition of gay couples more likely. In my own recent study conducted in the Netherlands, I found that the nine countries with partnership laws had higher rates of unmarried cohabitation than other European and North American countries before passage of the partner-registration laws. In other words, high cohabitation rates came first, gay partnership laws followed.
A subtler version of Kurtz’s argument states that the advent of registered partnership caused an increase in cohabitation rates and children born outside of marriage (nonmarital births). If that were true, then we would expect to see two patterns: Cohabitation rates and the nonmarital birth rate would rise more quickly within a country after it passed partner registration laws; and the rise in the nonmarital birth rate would be greater in countries that had such laws than in countries that do not recognize same-sex partnerships.
Kurtz’s argument fails both tests. From 1970 to 1980, the Danish nonmarital birth rate tripled, from 11 percent to 33 percent. Over the next 10 years, it rose again to 46 percent and then stopped rising in 1990s after the passage of the 1989 partnership law. Norway’s big surge occurred in the 1980’s, with an increase from 16 percent to 39 percent. In the decade after Norway recognized same-sex couples (in 1993), the nonmarital birth rate first rose slightly, then, after a couple of years, leveled off at 50 percent.
Cohabitation rates tell a similar story. In Denmark, from 1980 to 1989, the number of unmarried, cohabiting couples with children rose by 70 percent, but the same figure rose by only 28 percent from 1989 to 2000—the decade after Denmark introduced its partner-registration laws—and then stopped rising. From 2000 to 2004, the number has increased by a barely perceptible 0.3 percent. The fact that rates of cohabitation and nonmarital births either slowed down or completely stopped rising after the passage of partnership laws shows that the laws had no effect on heterosexual behavior.
Furthermore, the change in nonmarital births was exactly the same in countries with partnership laws as it was in countries without. The eight countries that recognized registered partners at some point in the decade from 1989 to 2000 saw an increase in the average nonmarital birth rate from 36 percent in 1991 to 44 percent in 2000, an eight percentage point increase. Among the EU countries that didn’t recognize partners (plus Switzerland), the average rate of nonmarital births rose from 15 percent to 23 percent—also an eight-point increase.
No matter how you slice the demographic data, rates of nonmarital births and cohabitation do not increase as a result of the passage of laws that give same-sex partners the right to registered partnership. To put it simply: Giving gay couples rights does not inexplicably cause heterosexuals to flee marriage, as Kurtz would have us believe. Looking at the long-term statistical trends, it seems clear that the changes in heterosexuals’ marriage and parenting decisions would have occurred anyway, even in the absence of gay marriage.
And all the conservative hand-wringing seems especially unnecessary when you consider the various incentives that encourage American heterosexual couples to marry. By marrying, U.S. couples obtain health-insurance coverage, pensions, and Social Security survivor benefits. Plus, in the United States we are required by law to be financially responsible for our spouses in bad times, since we don’t have Scandinavian-style welfare programs to fall back on.
In addition, American society already wrestles with the social tensions that Kurtz claims have occurred as a result of gay marriage in Scandinavia: deepening divisions over gay issues in churches, the increasing acceptance of lesbian and gay relationships in the media, and the occasional radical voice arguing for the abolition of marriage. Yet heterosexual couples keep getting married—more than 2 million of them every year.
Concerns about the impact of gay marriage on heterosexual behavior are not unique to the United States, of course. European countries that recognize same-sex couples initially had their worriers, too. Over time, however, it became clear that civilization and family life would survive the recognition of gay couples’ rights. Even the conservative governments that came into power have not tried to repeal rights for gay couples in France and the Netherlands.
Both demographic data and common sense show that the dire predictions of Dobson and Kurtz are just cultural prenuptial jitters. Now that gay and lesbian couples are marrying in Massachusetts, we’ll have a home-grown social experiment that will undoubtedly compare to that of Europe: Letting gay couples say “I do” does not lead to heterosexuals saying “I don’t.”
A video clip from The View: http://blip.tv/file/898530 including marriage statistics in Scandinavia.
Lessons from a Gay Marriage
Despite stereotypes of gay relationships as short-lived, gay unions highlight the keys to success.
By: Marian Jones
One lesson may be to wait before tying the knot. Many of the gays and lesbians who’ve married had been in their relationships for years beforehand, notes Dorte Gottlieb, a Danish psychologist who studies homosexuality. They have also been older on average than newly married heterosexuals.
Another likely reason Danish gays and lesbians rarely divorce is that only those who are strongly motivated to marry do so, given society’s disapproval of overt homosexuality. “It takes courage to marry and then live with information about your sexual orientation mentioned in your official documents,” says Danish psychologist Vibeke Nissen, herself a married lesbian.
However, the low gay divorce rate may have as much to do with gender as sexual orientation, Nissen believes. The vast majority of gay marriages in Denmark are male-male, and only 14 percent of these end in divorce, compared to 23 percent of female marriages. The higher rate for lesbians is consistent with data showing that women initiate most of the heterosexual divorces in Denmark. (In the United States, women request about two-thirds of divorces.) “Women simply expect different things from marriage than men do,” says Nissen. “And if they don’t get them, they prefer to live alone.”
Same-Sex Marriage: Demographics from Scandinavia
Dale Carpenter relates some fascinating research on same-sex unions in Scandanavia:
[T]here is no evidence that allowing same-sex couples to marry weakens the institution. If anything, the numbers indicate the opposite. A decade after Denmark, Norway and Sweden passed their respective partnership laws, heterosexual marriage rates had risen 10.7% in Denmark; 12.7% in Norway; and a whopping 28.8% in Sweden. In Denmark over the last few years, marriage rates are the highest they’ve been since the early 1970s. Divorce rates among heterosexual couples, on the other hand, have fallen. A decade after each country passed its partnership law, divorce rates had dropped 13.9% in Denmark; 6% in Norway; and 13.7% in Sweden. On average, divorce rates among heterosexuals remain lower now than in the years before same-sex partnerships were legalized.
In addition, out-of-wedlock birthrates in each of these countries contradict the suggestion by social conservatives that gay marriage will lead to great increases in out-of-wedlock births and therefore less family stability for children. In Denmark, the percentage of out-of-wedlock births was 46% in 1989; now it is 45%. In Norway, out-of-wedlock births jumped from 14% in 1980 to 45% right before partnerships were adopted in 1993; now they stand at 51%, a much lower rate of increase than in the decade before same-sex unions. The Swedish trend mirrors that of Norway, with much lower rates of increase post-partnership than pre-partnership.
Is there a correlation, then, between same-sex marriage and a strengthening of the institution of marriage? It would be difficult, and suspect, to establish a cause-and-effect relationship between these trends in heterosexual marriage and marriage rights for gays and lesbians. But the facts demonstrate that there is no proof that same-sex marriage will harm the institution of marriage, or children. An optimistic reading of the facts might even suggest that the energy and enthusiasm that same-sex couples bring to the institution of marriage may cause unmarried heterosexual couples to take a fresh look at marriage as an option.
Of course, there are the downsides, too. Like increased monogamy among gay people and increased toleration of gays and lesbians in society as a whole:
Our research has also uncovered additional social benefits. In dozens of interviews with partnered couples and through other sources, we found that marriage rights had an important beneficial effect not only on the couples themselves, but on their local and national communities as well. Couples reported that their relationships were stronger and more durable, that relationships with family members had deepened, that co-workers had become more tolerant and supportive, and their children felt greater validation by having married parents. Many couples reported a greater emphasis on monogamy, which may be reflected by the fact that national rates of HIV and STD infections declined in each of the Scandinavian countries in the years after they passed their partnership laws.
Strong, durable same-sex unions are exactly what the religious right fears most. They want, and need, gays to be promiscuous, irresponsible, shunned, and freakish. Dare I say it: diseased, too. They want gays forever to be scapegoats, and never to be people.
To them, tolerance is the enemy — and this is the reason they oppose civil marriage rights for gay and lesbian couples. Forbidding civil marriage sends a message, and they know what the message is just as surely as they dare not speak it aloud: You, it says, you are not fully our equal. To win, all that they need to do is to insist that heterosexual marriage is “special,” that it is “sacred,” and that its sacredness must be defended by the government. Civil marriage for gay and lesbian couples strikes at the heart of this agenda.
Now, there are the usual and expected caveats of any study of this type: It’s the first of its kind, selection is always an issue, and so forth. For details, see the lengthy comment thread to Carpenter’s post. Still, I think he is correct when he concludes,
What we can say with confidence so far, based on the evidence, is that the sky doesn’t immediately fall when a society recognizes gay relationships. As time passes without the sort of cataclysmic consequences predicted by opponents of gay marriage, we will be able to say more. We may soon be able to say, with good evidence to back it up, that recognzing gay marriage leads to greater stability in gay families, with benefits to gay couples, children raised in gay families, and communities. The signs so far are pointing in the right direction.


"If anything remains sacred here, I know beyond all evidence otherwise that a piece of me sticks close with you. So that when he is funny my absence will steal just a little bit of the laughter bubbling up in you. So that when he is deep you’ll shiver instead of remembering starry shadows that nearly drowned you. So that after you make love you’ll quiver when he kisses you and not let yourself ever know why it aches at night with the possibility that the other half of you could be just about anyone."
j.m.b. (via amuffin)
when you spell a word so wrong that spell check is like i dont know what to tell u man


Government of Nepal
Ministry of Finance
AID MANAGEMENT INFORMATION SYSTEM FOR NEPAL
small grant, TA
more interaction and collaborration between caste froups and men and women
enhanced trus, empathy and social ties between caste groups and among men and women
More inclusive and effective governance achieved
Open a PDF file of the doc attached Open.


19 – The Sun or Le Soleil, soap and energy perfume.
Boost: Universal Love| Prosperity | Joy | Empathy
Effect of Aromatherapy Synergy:
This synergy helps to develop universal love, understanding and compassion for ourselves and others, to balance and harmonize the masculine and feminine energy of both men and women. Helps to connect with the Universe and enjoy life.
Fine, citric and delicate aroma of roses
The Tarot Archetype
The Sun represents light, the meeting of the balance of Ying-Yang, the acceptance of the feminine and the masculine. The construction and development of a mature love, with healthy limits, both love for oneself, and love for others.
It speaks of a new beginning and construction of life, through the understanding of experiences already passed.


1) He only invites you over to his place late at night via text or IM.
A guy who truly liked you (or was even half decent, for that matter) would be proud to be seen out with you in public. He wouldn’t rely on the cover of the night to hurriedly rush you into his apartment at two AM. This sort of thing usually means that he’s got someone else. She’s the daytime girl, and you, unfortunately, are the night time girl. And it never ends well for the night time girl, because we are fillers. We’re something to rely on when he’s lonely, sad, drunk, high, horny, etc. and we’re not actually human in his eyes. If you were a human woman worthy of respect (in his eyes), he would call you on the phone. He would take you out to dinner. If he saw friends while the two of you were hanging out, he would introduce you. He wouldn’t immediately take you to his bedroom when you got to his apartment. He would make you feel worthy of love. This late night bullshit is for the birds. Fuck that guy. Tell him to go to hell. (Oh, and you might want to let this other girl know what he’s up to, because I guarantee there’s another girl, and I guarantee it will feel awesome. He doesn’t deserve your kindness or discretion.)
2) He makes you feel guilty for doing things you like to do.
This one typically involves a double-standard, too. If you want to go out with your friends, it’s a huge deal and he pouts for a lifetime. If he springs a last minute “guy’s night” on you, you’re expected to be totally okay with it all the time or you’re a huge bitch. If he doesn’t respect that you have your own stuff going on, then he doesn’t respect you. You’re essentially a glorified accessory, like a watch, or a stupid snapback or whatever it is these assholes wear.
3) He acts totally put-out and frustrated if you ask him the smallest favor.
Say you’re sick and you ask him to pick up ice cream on the way home. A good guy would say okay, no questions asked. Or decline politely and explain why. A douchebag would bitch and moan and talk about how out of the way the grocery store is and can’t you just get it I’m going out with my friends tonight me me me me me me me. To these guys, I say: GO FUCK YOURSELF. SELFISHNESS IS UGLY.
4) He contacts you only when he needs something.
Even if it seems small and doesn’t require any money, this is usually a key sign that he’s a dick. I’m an actor, so if a guy I like asks me for help “finding a monologue” or something, I know something’s fishy. You have other actor friends. Ask them. Why me? I don’t know any more about male monologues than they do. Probably less. Even if it’s information, or homework help, or something dumb like that – take it as a red flag. Now, if this doesn’t happen often, that should be alright. But if it’s every single time he initiates a conversation, he’s not interested in you, he’s interested in what you can give him.
5) He puts down your friends.
No matter how insignificant, if he makes comments about your friends being “bitches” or “jealous of what we have,” he’s a douchebag. The fact of the matter is that typically what your friends say about your relationship is more accurate than what either of you say, because they are impartial third party observers. They can see the cracks in the foundation from the outside while you’re in fucking lalaloopsyloveland riding around in his shitty car with shitty subwoofers sitting in the shitty backseat because his shitty friends take precedent over you.
6) He reminds you of how lucky you are to have him.
Ugh puke. My ex was like this. Like it was some fucking gigantic favor he was doing me just to be in my presence. Fuck off, douche. I’m doing something with my life. All you do is sit on your ass and play video games. Get a grip. Time for a reality check. If you were really lucky to have a guy, he wouldn’t need to fucking remind you. You’d just know. You’d be happy. He’d tell you how lucky he was to have you.
Moral of the story: A guy that’s worth your time is proud of you, wants to show you off, wants to take care of you, and respects you. Anything less and he’s not worth it. He doesn’t deserve to eat gum off the bottom of your shoe.