It’s Valentines Day and and some of you reading this might feel so in love, others might feel defeated in love, others heart broken, and others still holding out hope and manifesting. This is for everyone. This is especially for the woman (or man) or grew up not seeing healthy relationships, who is looking for a little hope, who want to hear my journey to love.
I want to start by saying that my journey hasn’t been easy when it comes to my love life. I guess it’s one of my souls greatest lessons this lifetime. It took years of me settling and years of toxic relationships. It took me hitting a total rock bottom with dating, relationships, and love and spending a year working on myself and why I was attracting and going after the same type of guys.
Let me give a little background first to my childhood..my dad cheated on my mom when I was a baby and walked in on it. At 3 years old they divorced and it was nasty…constant fighting, their safe meeting place was the local police station, my mom was always always angry at my dad. My dad re married to a woman named Becky who abused me as a child and when he found it he divorced her. My mom didn’t re marry but she was with a guy I practically called my step dad named Hector until around 19,20 he disappeared and we found out he was living a double life. Some of my friends growing up had parents who were together and a lot had divorced parents, dads who left them, and chaotic home life so to say I saw healthy relationships was very rare.
I don’t even know where to start with my dating life but let’s start with my first boyfriend in high school who broke up with me over myspace chat which was before people could even text so I guess guys have always had a bit of not having enough guts to just do things in person. I was so hung up on this first boyfriend for what felt like forever. I thought it was the end of the world. Oh high school!
Moving forward to the first guy I considered my boyfriend after that high school experience and his name was Michael. Well this entire time I thought Michael and I were an official thing he was actually just seeing or shall I say hooking up with me. He was probably the first guy to start to truly affect me mentally. He had this huge crush on this girl from his college ASU and she was in some group of well known pretty hot girls (I forgot what the group was called) but they were in calendars and all that stuff. Anyways he would show me pictures of her and tell me that I’ll never be as hot. At the time I always compared myself to her. She was super skinny and had long brown hair. I was super skinny but had blond hair so I dyed it brown and yet still he didn’t commit to me and I found myself finding out more and more that I wasn’t the only girl in his life.
Finally I cut that off and then enters my first REAL relationship. His name was Luis. Luis came into my life funny enough on a night that I ran into Michael from above. I was out on the town in good ole hermosa beach which has a strip of bars all along the beach side. Luis bought me a drink and I later ditched him for a random hook up with Michael. I was about 21 or 22 at this time. Cut to weeks later or maybe it was months I can’t quite remember but Luis found me on Facebook and messaged me saying that “I ditched him and owed him a drink” After a few weeks of blowing him off I finally gave in and then the rest was history. Cut to 5 years of being in my first actual in love completely commited relationship.
At first it was so adorable, he would come over and just watch me do my homework. He had just graduated college and was working at a shoe store. I was working retail and studying kinesiology and working towards becoming a personal trainer. We were together through the transition of him getting an internship at a big tech company and me quitting my retail job to start training and teaching barre and fitness classes all over LA. Through those years he climbed the ladder at the tech company and I later opened up my own fitness studio in Redondo Beach. I became a successful business owner and trainer in Los Angeles and he became very high up in his company which led him to lots of happy hours, work dinners, work outings, and traveling the world for work. We started living completely different lifestyles. I was waking up early, teaching and training all day and preparing for the next day at night. He was working all day and then going out all night to happy hours which turned into drunk nights out till the wee hours of the morning. He would go on work trips and stay out late every night and barely call to catch up with me. When we’d go out together we’d get in jealous drunk fights. First the mental abuse started happening of him always being paranoid of what I was doing (because he was always doing the opposite) and constantly making me feel like I’m crazy. If I would do anything with friends he would accuse me of cheating. Then came him commenting on my looks and appearance constantly telling me I dress too risky and shouldn’t dress the way I like to. Then the anger started, I couldn’t do anything right. I would wash the dishes and that would end up in him screaming at me about how bad I was at it, I would make the wrong turn when driving and he’d scream at me, throw a fit, start hitting the car, and even run out of the car as I was driving. Then the physical abuse started. I’m not sure when this all started because it’s kind of all a blur but I just know the anger continued to get worse and that would lead to him throwing me on the floor and hitting me. He would kick me out of his place and there was even a couple times the cops were called on us. Looking back I always ask myself “why didn’t I leave?” but I was scared. He made me feel like I was so ugly and no guy would ever want me. He made me feel like I was crazy and that I was so messed up that no guy would ever want me. He made me feel completely terrified to be alone again. In every possible situation even when we traveled together he made me feel horrible about myself and the anger always came at me stronger. I couldn’t do anything right and I was ALWAYS walking on egg shells. I had extreme high anxiety from wondering why he would turn his phone off when he’d go out, to trying to figure out if he was safe, to not knowing if that day he would threaten to break up with me or if he’d be sweet and loving. I barely slept and I cried myself to sleep pretty much every single night for years. On the outside everyone thought we were so happy. Our closest friends knew we were beyond dysfunctional but of course I didn’t listen and I even lost some friends who were just sick of hearing our shit and me not doing anything about it and I totally get it. Everyone else though, thought we were this happy couple who were so in love year after year. His mom always told me she loved me but knew he had an anger problem and she always said she would understand if I ever want to leave. My mom who hasn’t had any healthy relationships herself including abuse too, she saw him hit me and get angry with me a couple times but she would tell me to stay and that it was better then being alone. Over the years though I felt more and more in my heart that this wasn’t something I could do for the rest of my life.
Through that time we had a break about two years in and I dated the sweetest guy and it probably would have become a healthy relationship but Luis fought hard to get me back telling me he would change and I believed him so I took him back. On top of everything above there were many times I found messages and I never completely caught him in the act but I found a lot of messages that would lead me to believe he wasn’t faithful to me. One day though 5 years later, I can’t explain it but I just woke up and was done. Funny enough it was in Thailand where he finally took me to a work trip and was horrible to me one of the days but of course the next day woke up saying sorry and that he saw marriage and finally moving in together. He had never wanted to live together because he said that “it would take away his freedom.” Anyways once he said all of that it was like my life flashed before my eyes and I was just like “wow I cannot and will not do this for the rest of my life.” Something inside completely shifted and it was even hard for me to stay attracted to him at this point it was crazy.
Of course though I didn’t leave and we got back home and he said he was a changed man. Did anything change though? big nope. He continued to go out and we barely spent any time together and so right before Christmas was about to come, he came over and asked to go on another “break” cue eye roll. He told me that he didn’t understand why he treated me the way he did and that he thought he loved me but was confused why he would treat someone so bad that he loved. I told him that I couldn’t do it anymore. And that was it. I was done. I broke up with him and it felt like a weight had been lifted.
To say I felt amazing was an understatement but I had spent majority of my 20’s in a relationship and when I became single again…all my single friends had somehow met the one and were all starting to settle down and get married. I didn’t think I’d end up here almost 30 and alone.
So what happened next? Funny enough the next day after breaking up with my ex I attended a Christmas party for SouthBay Magazine to represent the fitness studio I owned and I met this guy named Nate. It was one of those situations where we started talking and it felt like we had known each other forever. From there it went from 0-100 real quick in many ways. We started hanging out every day and we thought we were soul mates. I was never the “love at first sight”person but this was definitely a deep soul connection. Later I found out we had many past lives together. Long story short what started out amazing ended up in finding out he was slowly becoming addicted to cocaine. One night I was sleeping at his house and he went out in the middle of the night and forgot I was there and brought another girl home and then didn’t even remember it happened the next day. You would think I would have left then but I didn’t. The final straw was my birthday when he made out with about 5 different women all in front of me. This was after telling his mom that I was the one. I never spoke to him again after that.
Do you know what happened after this? Luis came back. No we didn’t get back together. He asked to talk to me and we had dinner and he cried and cried and cried. He wanted me back and said it was the worst mistake of his life. At that moment I thought of all the times I took him back and gave him chances and I didn’t have it in me to do it again. I told him I didn’t see him the same and I told him all about Nate (like I said, sometimes I’m too honest) and that destroyed him to know I had moved on so fast. We tried to stay friends, I even helped him with his next girlfriend (who cheated on him..um karma much?) but eventually he sent me crazy text messages saying how could I not be attracted to him anymore and I knew I had to cut that toxicity out for good.
Strangely enough, I feel like I bottled up all me emotions from my 5 year relationship and never let myself truly feel the grief of that relationship so when things with Nate went south I felt so depressed. I truly couldn’t move forward it took me so long. I had to get reiki and energetically cut the cord with him to finally get some relief. I feel in a way because I jumped into something so fast that I just never let myself feel so when that crashed and burned I just felt almost lost.
Now lets talk about Aaron. I had always wanted to live on Kauai. When I went to Kauai with my ex I felt like it was meant to be my home and I just knew it was a huge part of me. It was my place. One of my best friends decided she wanted to go to Kauai for her birthday so off we went. Here is when tinder entered my life. She was sick the whole trip so she would take Nyquill and fall asleep pretty early so I didn’t know what to do with myself at night when it wasn’t late enough to fall asleep so I downloaded Tinder. Two guys I matched with were Aaron and Randy. I had easy convo with both of them and though I never met up with them because I wasn’t about to ditch my friend for a date hello! I messaged with them the whole time I was there. I left Kauai knowing I was going to move there but not sure when.
When I got back home I talked to Randy pretty much every single day but then Randy got a girlfriend so that fizzled out. Aaron was still keeping in contact and randomly told me he was coming out to California for a bachelor party and would love to come to my area and meet up. Well I picked him up from the airport and it was just so easy from there. He was so easy to talk to and it just all felt right. We ended up spending a couple days together and I felt sad when he left back to Kauai. We kept talking and that led to him inviting me out to visit him on Kauai.
And here is when stuff gets crazy. So I book my trip to Kauai and we talk everyday but then slowly I start to notice he is getting more and more distant. I reach out to him but he tells me he just has a lot going on and that he’s excited for me to come out. Meanwhile during all of this Randy comes back into my life. His girlfriend and him broke up and I’m an extremely honest person so I tell him all about Aaron and how I am coming out to Kauai but it’s to see Aaron. Randy and I decide we are just friends and we start talking as friends. It’s Christmas time and my flight is in January and Aaron’s birthday is in December along with Christmas. We are still talking everyday but then Christmas comes along and I notice he doesn’t say anything to me. I reach out and wish him a merry Christmas and he replies but is very short and I could just tell something is off. New Years comes along and he’s even more distant, my flight is in a. week to go see him and then he drops the news on me. He met someone else and it’s serious and he can longer have me stay with him…. I’m crushed. I tell Randy I’m crushed and heart broken and I tell my mom and friends and wonder do I still go to Kauai. I decide that I this will be my first trip to Kauai alone and that I should still go and make it my own trip and my first solo trip in general.
Well it gets crazier… I go to Kauai and I make friends right away and everything is amazing! My first day there I post a pic of myself on the beach rocking my bikini and tan and happiness and guess who messages me? Yep…Aaron. Aaron writes me a long message about how he isn’t seeing someone anymore and he feels horrible about everything and the least he can do is take me on a hike to a waterfall to make it up to me. I don’t know what part of my brain was working at that moment but all I could think of was waterfall and I said yes. It’s one of those moments I like to think back on and want to slap myself! Anyways so we go hiking to the waterfall, swim round, go to lunch, have a long talk, and then he tells me that his work holiday party is that night and he would love for me to be his date. I ask him again about the girl he met and again he tells me she’s out of the picture. So again not sure what I was thinking but I go to his holiday party. Well I end up staying with him and the morning comes along and I have to drive his car because get this (he has a breathalyzer on his car) and I drive up to my rental car to drop myself off and we hug and I say something about how I’m going to be there for 10 more days and he answers with “I have work everyday.” I knew it. I knew from that exact moment that he was a liar. I actually didn’t find out months later till I actually later moved to Kauai and met the girlfriend but he cheated on her with me. At first when I met her she hated me because I guess she heard about it and knew about me. He later cheated on her again (I think multiple times) with other women and then she finally reached out to me and I was able to tell her my side, and now her and I are cool.
Meanwhile after that whole thing I decide to make the rest of the trip about me. I talk to potential jobs, I meet tons of people, I am having an awesome time and then Randy asks to meet up. We met up on the beach and at first I couldn’t even tell if we were just friends or actually had a connection as I didn’t really see him that way the whole time we were talking. I realize we have major chemistry and then next thing I knew we had a thing going on. Flash forward to me going back to California, now Randy and I are talking all day everyday. This was completely different than Aaron. Randy and I are having long conversations literally lasting the entire day everyday. I feel like I am talking to my boyfriend. My birthday comes around and he sends me flowers, we start sending videos to each other. He knows I’m making moves to move to Kauai and we talk about how amazing it will be to finally be together. Flash forward to me moving to Kauai 6 months later. I can’t move into my place until the following week so he offers for me to stay with him. Everything is great or so I think but next thing I knew about 3 days in… he Facebook messages me ending things with me .
I was shattered and confused. 6 months had gone by of us forming this long distance dating but we both weren’t seeing anyone else and I’m lost as to why he’s ending things and why over Facebook message. I decide I need to just focus on adjusting to Kauai and making new friends and settling in. A week or so goes by and Randy reaches out again telling me that he was scared and that he didn’t mean to push me away. Let me tell you right now that when those first red flags come through take them seriously and RUN. I tell all my girlfriends now because they do not change. Well I take him back and then 6 more months of us exclusively dating goes by. Throughout the entire time though he is telling me that he isn’t sure I am “the one” and that he is waiting to feel a feeling of “the one” Looking back he was beyond selfish, he was a golf pro so I would spend all my time off watching him golf and I would stay at his place in Haena and have to wake up hours before teaching my spin classes to drive to the way other side of the island. He never cared to come to my place and never wanted to do any activities I wanted to do. We went camping and I knew all of his friends but he had no desire to meet or hang with any of mine. So what ended up happening?
This was my biggest heartbreak to date. When I was in it I thought that this could potentially be it. I didn’t see how selfish he was until shit hit the fan. I was under that fresh what I thought could potentially be love spell. I don’t even know but I never expected what happened next…..
I got pregnant. Now when this happened (the getting pregnant part) he actually joked about me being pregnant and right away I told him that’s not funny at all and we immediately bought a plan B test. I took the plan B and the next month came and I noticed I was late but having spotting, sensitive boobs, all signs of the plan b pill. It got to the point we were getting worried so he brought a test over and sure enough I was pregnant.
From there it was the worst experience. I have never wanted kids but some motherly instinct came over me and I felt ready. He told me he didn’t’t see himself marrying me. he would tell me that this is ruining his life, sometimes he would come over and just hold me and we wouldn’t say anything. All of this while pregnant and not being able to tell a soul that I’m going through any of that put me in such a depressed state. I wasn’t eating, I shut everyone out including my closest friends and family, I would just teach, go home and cry every day. My body was beyond in a. stressed state and so later…I lost the baby. He actually came to the hospital with me and we both cried and that was the first time I ever saw him have emotion. He wasn’t crying about the baby though, he was crying because he finally saw how hurt I was. Right after, I found out that he was cheating and another girl was flying out to Kauai to see him. After that he left my life and it wasn’t until months later that he reached out and apologized. I was broken, I suffered from post partum depression, I felt suicidal and he abandoned me even as my friend and the only person who knew what I was going through. Outside of my dads death, this was the hardest time of my life. I had to completely rebuild after this.
Do you want to know the worst part though? I took him back. We started seeing each other again and we both felt like this magnet that both couldn’t stop. For some reason I thought it was different and maybe that whole thing had made him had a realization. Everything was great…..for a week..and then he told me he had met someone again. A new girl started at his work and he wanted to pursue things with her. I got screwed over again. I couldn’t even play the victim because at that point I was just dumb. I started going to therapy. I was done with attracting the same guy over and over. I was done with dating narcissists. I needed to heal whatever part of me was attracting this.
My therapist had me read a book called Attached and I realized that I always attracted avoidant attachment styles and that I myself was an anxious attachment and what I needed to work on was becoming secure and also attracting a secure.
Next enters Matt… oh Matt. He actually saw me at a Christmas party but didn’t talk to me and about a month or so later decided to DM me. I don’t usually fall for those dm’s but he seemed really genuine and sincere so I agreed to go on a date with him. The date was amazing and we lived on opposite sides of the island so we started to talk on the phone every day/night. We had really powerful deep conversations and I told my therapist about him. She felt like he was a secure guy. Our birthday was the same weekend he was turning 35 and I was turning 30. My friends all flew out from California and came out to Kauai and while it was mostly a girls trip, I had planned a dinner for all my friends to come and invited him. He told me he was so excited to celebrate and then just never came… I was so confused. Then he just ghosted me. On my actual birthday I was at the beach and randomly saw him there (small island) and he acted like nothing was wrong. My friends had all just left back to Cali and I had already had my birthday dinner but no plans for my actual birthday. He offered to take me out to dinner. Again another one of those times I want to smack myself. I said yes and rushed home to change and get ready. After I was all ready I called him and…..nothing. Nada. He never messaged me again, never called me, completely bailed, ditched, and ghosted me..on my actual birthday. My therapist said sometimes avoidant attachment styles come off as secure in the beginning and then their true colors come out. Great lesson.
Months later I decide to leave for Bali. My friend from Kauai told me about a guy living in Bali who used to live on Kauai and was her good friend so I reached out and we decided to meet up. Enters Nate…. Nate was probably the most beautiful man I had ever “dated” he took me all around Canggu in Bali and we spent all day everyday together. It was just easy and natural. One day the chemistry came out and we slept together. We were both in a place we weren’t just sleeping around or dating random people so we talked about it the next day and we both agreed that we had feelings for each other. We kept hanging out and then came him telling me that he wasn’t;t attracted to me. Ooooo I can feel how awful it felt even writing this. We were kissing and things were getting heated and he straight up said he wasn’t really attracted to me and that I wasn’t his type. Now I don’t know about you but this just isn’t something that feels good AT ALL and left me feeling really low. At the end of the day it was a blessing because I realized ok I am not in Bali to meet a guy and I am not in Bali to be all sad over a guy telling me I don’t look like his type which by the way he told me his type was women who pretty much look like barbie, big boobs, tall, and long blond hair. I ended up having the most amazing solo trip and I think I needed to go through that to become stronger in who I am.
After that began my year of being single and sticking to it. Sure I went on dates and had little things here and there but I was sticking up for my worth. I made a list in my phone of what I wanted in my partner and as soon as I saw a red flag or something that didn’t align with my values and my list, I was out. I focused on healing myself. I lived and traveled the world. I lived in Costa Rica for a bit and had a fling with a guy in Costa Rica but nothing serious. Still my focus was on myself. For the first time in my life I was putting myself first.
I went on my birthright trip to Israel and I loved Israel so much that I decided to stay and extend my trip. I was getting coffee and sitting at this park when I noticed a guy sitting next to me. I’m not even sure how we started talking but we did and next thing I knew we were talking for hours. His story intrigued me because he was an American from New York who had been living in Israel for about 5 years and was a citizen. We exchanged numbers and as soon as I got back to my air Bnb he suggested that this wine shop across from his house was having a happy hour and if I would like to join for some lunch. I said why not so I joined. Well just like my other stories from then it went to us hanging out every day. I ended up extending my trip and stayed with him a week. It all sounds crazy but let me tell you this was different from all the rest. I had done so much self work on myself and the type of guys I let in/ attracted. I was being upfront and honest about what I was looking for and that I wasn’t into just a fling or hook up and he was the most honest guy I had ever dated. His name was Joel. Joel was honest, blunt, and was looking for the exact same. He was ready to settle down and we had honest and open conversations and I told him there was potential for me to move to Israel. When I stayed with him, everything felt natural and easy and when it was time for me to leave we both cried and we were crushed. We had a talk abut keeping things going so we agreed I would come back and visit and we would stay in touch. I left it out to the universe to decided our fate. We stayed in touch and I was going to fly back out to Israel right away but a lot of things came up. I had to fly back to Kauai and Costa Rica. His dad was getting sick and potentially had cancer. So I kept pushing back my trip and just like the Aaron situation, I started to feel a distance. The difference was we would talk and I would tell him I felt a distance and he would assure me that everything was fine he was just stressed with work. I wasn’t afraid to express my feelings though. I consistently expressed myself anytime I felt like something was off. Eventually I booked my trip back out to Israel and then right after booking he sent me a message telling me that he has become closer to a girl he’s known for awhile and that the distance with me became too hard and he was going to pursue a relationship with this other girl.
I was shocked and wasn’t shocked at the same time because I had a feeling that he was still talking to others as we had only spent two weeks together that’s not enough to say we are exclusive or even put any labels. Still in a way I was sad because I was still coming out to Israel. I was also proud of myself because I was authentic and wasn’t afraid to tell him how I felt. We actually had a long conversation after that and he truly did care about my well being. At this point I honestly surrendered. I surrendered to the thought of being alone and that my path wasn’t to have the love but maybe it was just to love myself and discover myself and my career. I no longer cared to try, look, or even date. I say this not in a negative way, I was just very focused on myself and not settling.
Then enters Niko… I was back in California and it was about two months out from Israel. I randomly posted on my Instagram that I was looking to shoot with a videographer for my website. That same day I received a message from a videographer in my hometown saying that he’d love to collaborate. We started messaging back and forth and we were really vibing on our ideas. We decided to meet in person to talk more about our first shoot. Now there was NO flirting and the idea of anything more then business didn’t even cross my mind.
We meet at coffee cartel a local coffee shop and what was supposed to be a maybe 15-30 minute meeting turns into hours of talking about life, self growth, ideas, everything. I remember leaving that meeting and thinking how I wish Joel would have had those deeper conversations with me and how I hope to meet a guy like Niko. Still I only thought of him as someone I’m working with and that we would never cross that line.
Somehow we end up messaging back and forth on Instagram. It was pretty consistent and sometimes a day or two would go buy but again it was mostly us talking as friends getting to know one another, nothing flirty. We shoot our first video and I felt a vibe but I wasn’t sure if I was thinking crazy or not. He invited me to a clients white party and I figured this is my chance to maybe see if we both have a crush or if we are just friends… Well the white party never happened because Niko got really sick so I figured there was my chance to figure things out and we were just meant to be friends.
The funny thing was I was telling everyone I had a crush on him but didn’t show it at all to him. I ended up asking him to take him to dinner because I wanted to thank him for the video we filmed. We went to dinner and he opened the car door for me, opened the door for me, pulled my chair out, and paid for dinner. I was confused now. We had a great dinner and then we walked the Redondo pier but he didn’t try to kiss me so again I figured just friends. When he took me home he hugged me for a long time and nothing. Then I started to walk away and he asked for one more hung…so I thought here it is…but still nothing!
During dinner we talked about his birthday coming up and we joked about going to Disneyland together because I was too afraid of Knotts Scary Farm. About a week or so later it was getting closer to his birthday and he mentioned if we were going. I got excited but didn’t show it and agreed to go. It’s so funny to look back on because we were both so nervous, we were at Disneyland together as if we were a couple but we weren’t. Every so often my arm would maybe graze him or something but still nothing more. Let me tell you though we really got to know each other this day. We spent the entire day together, stood in 3 hour lines where we checked our birth charts to see how compatible we were (we are extremely compatible), and we just really got to know each other that day. Later that night we watched the water light show at California Adventure and I thought ok maybe this is the moment but still he didn’t make a move. I’m telling you I thought maybe he would put his arm around me or something but nothing. In fact I looked to see where he was and he wasn’t even close to me. I was like alright we are just friends and thats it.
After Disneyland he was taking me home and I couldn’t stop thinking about how he still didn’t make a move. I was beyond confused what was happening. I was dog and house sitting so I asked him if he wanted to come in and hang for a bit. Yep I was the one making moves. He came inside and then finally kissed me after starring at each other for what felt like forever.Apparently from the moment he saw me at the coffee shop he thought I was so gorgeous and felt like I would never go for him. He also was extremely nervous which is why it took him SO long to make a move. We still joke and laugh about it today.
We are now together, I still went to Israel for a month might I add, and we talked everyday, I still went to Costa Rica and we talked everyday. On Christmas we became official. It never felt hard, I never had anxiety about what we are, it flowed, and we just naturally fell in love.
When he told me he loved me he called me and sang Stevie Wonder “I just called to say I love you” and it was the sweetest moment.
The difference was in the past I would have been scared to leave and go on my solo trips over anxiety I’ll lose the guy but I trusted him, I trusted myself, I trusted the process and I was in full surrender. Honestly when I went to Israel I was having feelings afraid of what this could be and being there and us face timing daily allowed us to get way closer from afar without extra pressure. It allowed me to open up more, to figure out why I was feeling afraid, and what more I needed to heal within as well. When I came back from to Cali he picked me up from the airport with flowers and a big sign with my picture on it and I knew that there was nothing to be afraid of.
There has been honesty and strong communication and we both have had triggers caused from past relationships come up but we’ve talked through them and with love and support behind those conversations unlike anger and ego like in my past relationships.
The funny thing is you might think this article is about how I found love with Niko but actually its about how I found love with myself. From the moment Luis and I broke up I was a lost soul. I had put my entire identity into Luis and I had no idea who I was after him. I knew my passion and my career but as far as me at my core I didn’t know, I didn’t recognize myself anymore. After Randy ad losing the baby, I was even more broken, I even tried to end my life I was so depressed. From that first moment with breaking up with Luis it took 4 years up to this point that I’m writing this now. During that 4 years it was me constantly putting my happiness in another, self sabotage, going after narcissists, avoidant attachment styles, men who didn’t respect me , who didn’t value me, who weren’t faithful, and who were completely afraid of commitment and especially talking about dare I say FEELINGS. I had to hit rock bottom with love, with myself, stop my self sabotaging habits, and go on a journey to find myself again. When I spent the year traveling and soul searching I had to heal my inner child, my trauma, I had to let myself grieve my ex and that relationship and that entire huge portion of my twenties, I had to grieve the death of my father who I never fully grieved as I numbed myself with alcohol and partying and friends, relationships, and sex. I am FAR from perfect but I got to a place of truly having respect for myself and my body and who I let into my space and spend my energy with, I valued myself and I wasn’t tolerating any toxicity or toxic behavior. After that year..that’s when Joel came in and I truly believe he came in to show me that an honest guy exists and then he was meant to exit my life so that something way deeper can come in and that was Niko. He doesn’t complete me because a partner shouldn’t. They are your partner and an addition to the self love you already have for yourself. They make you a better person but don’t complete you. I will say what I thought was love in the past never was. I have never felt a love like this, I have never felt a connection that feels so deep, and I have never met someone so open to talking about everything and truly loving me for who I am and what makes me…ME.
At the end of the day I’ve realized the most important thing is the love for yourself and the continuing relationship you have with yourself and continuing to work on it because stuff will continue to come up, and we are constantly healing and growing but at our core is love and without the love for ourself we can’t get through anything. We can’t be our best self in a relationship with another, we can’t go after our dreams fully, we need to constantly work on that love for ourself.


Browsing by Author Fourmanov, Igor. A.
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|2010||Aggression in Belarusian's incarcerated adult male offenders||Fourmanov, Igor. A.|
|2008||Expressive and instrumental social representations of aggression: responses to provoking scenarios||Fourmanov, Igor. A.|
|2002||Gender and cross-cultural differences in manifestations of psychological abuse in marital relations||Fourmanov, Igor. A.|
|2006||Relationship between psychological violence and emotional state couples in family||Fourmanov, Igor. A.|
|1997||Valutazione dello stato emotivo dei bambini orfani in iverse condizionidi cura||Fourmanov, Igor. A.|
|2007||Victimisation in Workplace Relations||Fourmanov, Igor. A.|


If your dad loves spending time in the great outdoors, there are many Father’s Day gifts that you can give him to show your appreciation and love. Here are some ideas:
- Camping gear: If your dad loves camping, consider gifting him some camping gear such as a tent, sleeping bag, or camping stove.
- Hiking boots: A good pair of hiking boots can make a big difference in the quality of your dad’s outdoor adventures. Consider gifting him a sturdy and comfortable pair.
- Fishing gear: If your dad loves fishing, consider gifting him some new fishing gear such as a new fishing rod or a fishing tackle box.
- Hammock: A hammock can be a great way for your dad to relax and enjoy the outdoors. Consider gifting him a durable and portable one.
- Outdoor cooking equipment: If your dad loves to cook outdoors, consider gifting him a new BBQ grill or a portable camping stove.
- National park pass: If your dad loves exploring national parks, consider gifting him an annual pass so he can visit his favorite parks all year long.
- Binoculars: Binoculars are a great way for your dad to get a closer look at wildlife and nature. Consider gifting him a high-quality pair.
- Waterproof backpack: If your dad loves hiking, consider gifting him a waterproof backpack to keep his gear dry.
- Nature guidebook: If your dad loves learning about nature, consider gifting him a guidebook about the plants and wildlife in his favorite outdoor area.
- Personalized water bottle: A personalized water bottle can be a great gift for your dad to take on his outdoor adventures.
Remember, the most important thing is to show your dad that you love and appreciate him, no matter how much you spend on the gift.


Ever notice how brothers and sisters sometimes argue or compete for attention? It’s a common thing in families – we call it sibling rivalry.
How to solve this problem?
Define the Triggers
Sibling rivalry often stems from various triggers that might not be immediately apparent. Take the time to observe and understand what sparks disagreements or tensions between your children. Possible triggers for sibling rivalry may include a desire for attention, a feeling of competition, or unmet emotional needs. Recognizing and understanding these triggers represents the initial stage in addressing the fundamental causes of conflicts between siblings.
Encourage an open line of communication between your children. Create an atmosphere where they feel comfortable expressing their feelings and concerns. Regular family discussions or one-on-one talks can be instrumental in fostering an environment of trust, helping siblings understand each other better and express their emotions without resorting to conflict.
Be the Mediator, Not the Judge
When conflicts arise, approach the situation as a mediator rather than taking sides. Guide your children in finding common ground and understanding each other’s perspectives. Avoid assigning blame but instead focus on resolving the issue at hand. This approach helps resolve immediate conflicts and teaches valuable conflict-resolution skills that will serve them well in the future.
Teach Conflict Resolution Skills
Equip your children with the skills to resolve conflicts independently. Teach them the importance of compromise, active listening, and finding solutions together. These skills address immediate disputes and empower them to navigate conflicts in other areas of their lives.
Create opportunities for your kids to work together towards a common goal. Whether it’s a household project, a shared responsibility, or a fun family game, fostering teamwork helps build a sense of unity and cooperation. This shared experience can go a long way in strengthening the bond between siblings.
Celebrate and appreciate the unique qualities and talents of each child. Reinforce the idea that differences are what make each sibling special. By acknowledging and valuing individuality, you promote a positive environment that reduces feelings of competition and fosters mutual respect.
Acknowledge and Celebrate Achievements
Regularly acknowledge and celebrate each child’s achievements, whether big or small. This practice helps foster a positive atmosphere where siblings support each other’s successes rather than view them as threats.


CAN YOU FIND TRUE LOVE ON A DATING SITE
Published on : 2017-04-14 16:58:47
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Okay, so I like a good sex scene in a book as much as the next girl, the chance to live out a little fantasy vicariously through the characters on the page who are a lot braver about trying out new stuff than I am in real life. But is that really what sex in romance is all about?
First of all, a couple of definitions.
Porn is all about sex for its own sake. It is mostly graphic sex, often exploitive or degrading. Erotic literature focuses on stories of sexual encounters between various sorts of people.
Romance isn’t interested in porn. It isn’t just interested in sex for its own sake.
Romance is interested in the romantic relationship of the couple in the story. Any sex in the book is there to show the conflicts and the growth of the developing relationship.
It’s all about the couple.
In a romance, the sex isn’t hot because the author shows the characters having acrobatic sex on a trampoline. The sex is hot because I am totally emotionally invested in these two people getting together. It can be any level of sex, as long as the pull of attraction between the two people is believable, as well as the obstacles they must overcome to be together.
Sex is just one of the things couples tend to do together. It can also be a mine-field that a couple has to navigate carefully lest they blow their new-found chance at happiness to smithereens. It can bring them closer, it can create conflict, it can bring up all kinds of issues and questions neither of them really wants to deal with right now. It can entertain the reader, but more importantly, it can deepen the complexity of the story and the reader’s ability to identify even more deeply with the characters.
I was shocked recently to realize (well, okay, someone pointed out to me) one of my favorite authors, Lynn Kurland- who writes amazing medieval and time travel romances, has no sex on the page in her books. I really never noticed, and that’s because the way she shows the attraction between her characters, the push and pull of desire and the fear of what loving each other may cost them, is so powerful that I feel immersed in that emotional journey right along with them to the satisfying end.
I will confess that I enjoy seeing the sexual part of the relationship play out on the page in Romance novels. I think because it’s part of my own experience with romantic love as an adult- it’s part of the deal, and a pretty important one at that. I want to see the characters get to enjoy all the good parts, especially since they have to go through a lot of the sucky parts-(if the writer is doing his/her job well.


Love is in the air-Dare to Care Challenge!
Monday, February 14th is Valentine’s Day! This holiday is often met with both excitement and anxiety! There are many ways to show love on Valentine’s Day! Many animals in the animal world give gifts to either a loved one or people who have shown them kindness. For example, Gentoo penguins select the perfect pebble to give to their special someone. If you are looking for a unique Valentine’s Day gift for your special lady-you may want to take a page out of the penguin’s book!
For those of you wanting to branch out a bit for this holiday there are other kinds of love. One type of love is the love for your community! Many animals give gifts simply because they want others to feel special or to show their appreciation. Dolphins have been known to give gifts of fish to tourists, and crows have been known to give gifts such as twigs and keys they have found as signs of gratitude. This year, show your love for the Bruin community by performing various acts of kindness. Stop by Dr. Gaughan’s office, LCN 562, anytime between Monday February 14th and Friday February 18th and pick up a sweet treat, a Valentine, and a ‘Dare to Care’ challenge-a small challenge to spread some Bruin cheer to the surrounding community!


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Watch Pillow Talk (1959)
You are watching the movie Pillow Talk 1959 produced in USA belongs in Category Comedy, Drama , with duration 1h 42min , broadcast at FMOVIE.PRO,Director by Michael Gordon, The film is directed by Michael Gordon. In New York, the interior decorator Jan Morrow and the wolf composer Brad Allen share a party line, but Brad keeps it busy most of the time flirting with his girlfriends. They do not know each other but Jan hates Brads since she needs the telephone for her business and can not use it. Coincidently Jan's wealthy client Jonathan Forbes that woos her is the best friend of Brad and he comments with him that he feels an unrequited love for Jan, who is a gorgeous woman. When Brad meets Jan by chance in a restaurant, he poses as a naive tourist from Texas named Rex Stetson and seduces her. But Jonathan hires a private eye to find who Rex Stetson is.
Duration: 1h 42min
Release year: 1959
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Are you having a difficult time navigating life struggle? Are you feeling hopeless and overwhelmed? At some point in our lives, we all experience some struggles and various challenges. Individual counseling is available to help adults overcome various mental health challenges and improve their daily life.
Do you and your partner feel stuck in your relationship? I specialize in couples counseling to help partners navigate through various challenges in their relationship, improve communication, deepen connections, resolve conflicts, and develop the skills needed to maintain sustaining love for each other. Give me a call today, I would love to hear from you.
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..and nine other “smart men,” why so many studies indicate that men prefer dating women who are less intelligent than they are. Carney chalked the phenomenon up to today’s “knowledge economy.” Less intelligent women have more leisure time because they aren’t financially rewarded for staying in school or working long hours, Carney reasoned, and they seek out a smart partner as a means of “economic advancement.” As Carney put it, “dumb chicks have both greater opportunities and greater incentives to try harder to date smart men than smart women do.”
My take: most men need to dominate their s.o., or at least have the impression that they do. When women complain that “smart men” date dumber chicks, what they’re really saying is why such “eligible bachelors” date women who are more beautiful / younger than me and why don’t they notice me?!
This is neither new nor unexpected, but the problem is more acute because there are now far more educated women than before and they don’t want a dumbo as a partner. They want a men at their level and there just aren’t any. Most will have to either compromise or learn to live alone.


Love Without Pain | Talks May 2-4
Join us for our next series of Meditation Talks with Buddhist Nun Kelsang Monlam in Dubbo, Parkes, Orange, Bathurst and Mudgee!
Pure love never causes any pain. In this talk we will learn how to distinguish between love and attachment and remove the cause of pain from our heart. By developing our minds of love and applying them in our daily life we will feel closer and more connected to others and our relationships will become more stable and harmonious.


Anything you want in love you should have. If you want someone to send you flowers just because it’s Tuesday, you should have that. If you want someone to write you love letters, you should have that. If you want someone who looks at you like the sun rises and sets because of you, you should have that. In life, we often have to settle for “okay” or “good enough”, love should not be one of those things.
Once upon a time there was a girl who loved books and flowers and a boy's blue eyes, sweaters and the stars and good music and countless other things far too numerous for her tumblr description. someday, maybe, she wanted to be happy.


Post Date: 18-December-2017
Second PTA Meeting 2017/2018
Every year, the St. Paul's College Parent-Teacher Association organises talks on diverse subjects, which aim to bring parents and teachers up to speed on information and knowledge regarding bringing up and educating adolescent boys.
At the second PTA meeting for this academic year on 16th December 2017, Mr. Lam Chong Hang, Chairman of the SPC PTA, welcomed the guest speaker, Dr. Chan Ho Yung, who spoke on the theme: "To change for the better -- change is the key to raising healthy kids".
A specialist in the field of adolescent education and development, Dr. Chan pointed out that undesirable changes in adolescent behaviour are often subtle and cumulatively damaging, and that in many instances, they are intimately and ultimately linked to the changes in the loving relationship between the two parents. While parents have to be alert to changes in their relationships both with their children and with their spouses, Dr. Chan recommended that they should strive to overcome family relationship problems with love, care and understanding.
Dr. Chan's talk was well received by both teachers and parents in attendance. The meeting concluded with informal chats between teachers and parents over tea and refreshments.


Agency and Love in Marriage
Elder Lynn G. Robbins
of the Quorum of the Seventy
(Ensign, Oct 2000, 16)
Falling in love is a powerful thing. There have doubtless been more books written, more movies made, more songs sung about love and falling in love than about any other topic. Finding a person to love is the ultimate treasure hunt. Falling in love, one person reflected, is finding “someone just right, someone you loved like the best pal you ever had and the worst crush you ever had.” 1 It can be so consuming that the desire to be with another becomes unrelenting, occupying your every thought, your every desire, your every minute of the day. It’s intense. It’s exhilarating. To fully portray the feeling on paper has always been elusive to even the most adept poets. To comprehend it, love has to be experienced. And oh, what a wonderful experience! He captures her heart, she captures his; there is a mutual victory and surrendering for both.
“The Lord has ordained that we should marry,” said President Gordon B. Hinckley, “that we shall live together in love and peace and harmony. … The time will come when you will fall in love. It will occupy all of your thoughts and be the stuff of which your dreams are made. … You will know no greater happiness than that found in your home. … The truest mark of your success in life will be the quality of your marriage. … This choice [of a companion] will be the most important of all the choices you make in your life.” 2
Somewhere in the history of the English language the expression “fall in love” began to be used to describe the sublime experience of finding someone to love. While it is a beautiful idiom, there was inherent risk involved in selecting the verb fall because it mostly means accidental, involuntary, with no choice involved. And subtly, it has also led to the use of its distressing corollary, “We fell out of love,” an all-too-common phrase heard nowadays as an excuse for a failed marriage. “Falling in love” and “falling out of love” sound as if love were something that cannot be controlled.
Many who feel they are falling out of love with their spouse throw their hands up in resignation as if they were victims of an outside influence that controls them. They begin to wonder, “Do I really want to be married to this man (or woman) for eternity?” Having fallen out of love, as they suppose, they begin to drift apart, often saying things to hurt one another. “I don’t love you anymore” is a common assertion. They tolerate one another for the children’s sake, resenting one another; or they separate, believing their differences to be irreconcilable. The result is a damaged or destroyed family, another casualty of Satan’s assault.
How could something so glorious and beautiful as falling in love end up in misery for so many marriages? What goes wrong?
A Love That Lasts
For some people, falling in love is a magical encounter, something that seems to happen at first sight. For others, it is a growing affinity and attraction toward another, like budding blossoms that flower into a beautiful bouquet. Though the first type of love may also bloom like the second, it is often merely glandular, a cotton candy kind of love that has no substance. While it may begin with warm cuddles in moonlit glades, it can soon grow cold as honeymoon memories fade and familiarity turns to faultfinding.
On the other hand, “divine” love, as President Spencer W. Kimball called it, “is not like that association of the world which is misnamed love, but which is mostly physical attraction. When marriage is based on this only, the parties soon tire of each other. There is a break and a divorce, and a new, fresher physical attraction comes with another marriage, which in turn may last only until it too becomes stale. The love of which the Lord speaks is not only physical attraction, but also faith, confidence, understanding, and partnership. It is devotion and companionship, parenthood, common ideals and standards. It is cleanliness of life and sacrifice and unselfishness. This kind of love never tires nor wanes. It lives on through sickness and sorrow, through prosperity and privation, through accomplishment and disappointment, through time and eternity.” 3
Many popular songs and films make reference to loving forever or to an everlasting love. For the world, these lyrics are simply poetic; for us, they are genuine expressions of our divine potential. We believe that eternal love, eternal marriage, and eternal families are “central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” 4 However, every couple will encounter some struggles on their journey toward this glorious destiny. There are no perfect marriages in the world because there are no perfect people. But our doctrine teaches us how to nurture our marriages toward perfection and how to keep the romance in them along the way. No one need ever “fall out of love.” Falling out of love is a cunning myth which causes many broken hearts and homes.
“The family is falling apart all over the world,” President Hinckley said. “The old ties that bound together father and mother and children are breaking everywhere. We must face this in our own midst. There are too many broken homes among our own. … Can we not do better? Of course we can.” 5
A Conscious Choice
We know that any commandment by God involves agency. We can obey or disobey, but there is always a choice. Therefore, in Matthew 22, verses 37 and 39, when the Lord says, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind,” and “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself,” [Matt. 22:37, 39] He is not saying, “I hope you ‘fall in love’ with your neighbor.” The command is a directive, an appeal to the mind to make a conscious choice, involving the mind in reasoning and decision making. The Savior made it clear that love was a command to be obeyed—a command upon which “all the law and the prophets” hang (Matt. 22:40). To achieve a Christlike love we must overcome the natural man (see Mosiah 3:19), control natural impulses, and even love our enemies (see Matt. 5:44). This is a command that requires a decision.
Too many believe that love is a condition, a feeling that involves 100 percent of the heart, something that happens to you. They disassociate love from the mind and, therefore, from agency. In commanding us to love, the Lord refers to something much deeper than romance—a love that is the most profound form of loyalty. He is teaching us that love is something more than feelings of the heart; it is also a covenant we keep with soul and mind.
As we read his counsel to parents, it is obvious that King Benjamin was also aware that agency had much to do with love. “Ye will teach them [your children] to love one another, and to serve one another” (Mosiah 4:15). How can something be taught that cannot be learned? Once again, the scriptures are teaching us about a love that is to be discovered in the mind.
What about love between spouses, which involves the additional elements of romance and intimacy? Does this principle of agency and love, or the command to love, apply to marriage as well?
Once again, the Lord uses the command form of the verb love in “Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else” (D&C 42:22). It doesn’t require any guesswork here to discern that the Lord is giving us a directive with a presupposition of agency.
In Matthew, the Lord said, “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” In His mortal life, He demonstrated a perfect kind of love, then said, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another” (John 13:34; emphasis added). Loving as He loved is a higher form of love than loving “as thyself.” It is a pure love that puts another higher than self. This pure love is the same love that should exist between husbands and wives. In Ephesians 5:25 [Eph. 5:25], the Apostle Paul exhorts, “Husbands, love your wives, [How?] even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” How, then, did Christ love the Church? We have a marvelous definition of this love in 1 Corinthians 13:1–8 [1 Cor. 13:1–8] and Moroni 7:44–47 [Moro. 7:44–47].
As we study each attribute, we would be wise to consider how we are doing in our marriage or future marriage.
Love by Decision
While it is obvious that agency is a factor in the character traits listed by the Apostle Paul, it will be impossible to develop these attributes without the Lord’s help. Therefore, the Lord instructs us through Mormon to “pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ” (Moro. 7:48).
This is the love that is to be applied in marriages, in families, and with our fellowmen. A marriage based on this kind of love becomes the most romantic of all, generating eternal tender feelings between a husband and a wife. It should also be obvious that the heartache leading to divorce can be caused by the negative traits identified in the chart. These traits should be eliminated from our lives and homes.
Thus we have seen that while a person may “fall in love” with a spouse by emotion, the husband or wife progresses and blossoms in love by decision.
It is almost humorous to observe a young unmarried couple in love. After spending an entire day together, they are back together again on the phone that same night. It’s sheer torture for them to be separated. Even in their thoughts they can hardly focus on anything else. Love begins to disrupt their studies or work. Everything else in life becomes a nuisance and an interruption that keeps them apart until they can be together again. In their minds there was never, in the history of the world, a truer love than theirs. We call this level of premarriage intensity “infatuation.”
After they marry, this intensity tapers off. Living under the same roof, they each begin to discover a few peculiar idiosyncracies in the other that they had not seen before. Some of these are irritating. The infatuation begins to fade. Those who have confused infatuation for love begin to worry and wonder if they are falling out of love. “Where is that level of passion, the fire I had during courtship?” they may ask themselves. Their relationship is passing through a common stage and is at an important crossroad. If they believe they have fallen out of love, they may begin to drift apart.
This is when a dose of true love is needed to rekindle a relationship that is being tested. True love may not restore the same emotional intensity of early courtship, but it will help love remain alive and blooming. Forty years later, Grandpa can go fishing, love Grandma dearly, but more easily endure a short absence from her than he could at a youthful age when smitten with infatuation. Their love is stronger, more mature, and still blossoming.
If a husband and wife are willing to apply the scriptural definition of love to their relationship, even a stale marriage and romance can be revived. Stephen R. Covey relates the following experience:
“At one seminar, after I’d spoken on the importance of demonstrating character within the family, a man came up and said, ‘I like what you’re saying, but my wife and I just don’t have the same feelings for each other that we used to. I guess we don’t love each other anymore. What can I do?’
“ ‘Love her,’ I replied.
“He looked puzzled. ‘How do you love when you don’t feel love?’
“ ‘My friend,’ I responded, ‘love is a verb. The feeling of love is the fruit of love. So love your wife. You did it once, you can do it again. Listen. Empathize. Appreciate. It’s your choice. Are you willing to do that?’
“Of course, I was asking this man if he was willing to search within himself for the character required to make his marriage work. All our relationships follow the contours of life; they have ups and downs. This is why our families provide a critical measure of our character—and the opportunity, again and again to nurture it.” 6
“I Love You”: A Commitment
Because love is as much a verb as it is a noun, the phrase “I love you” is much more a promise of behavior and commitment than it is an expression of feeling. “I love you” is a phrase we should be using in our homes much more than we do. If we don’t teach our children to use this phrase, they’ll be very uncomfortable with it throughout their lives and may not use it very much in their own marriage or with their own children. In my family, as we conclude our family prayer and scripture study in the morning, everyone gives one another a hug and each says, “I love you,” brothers to sisters, sisters to brothers, parents to children, and my wife and I to one another. It is a wonderful way to start the day and a good way to fulfill King Benjamin’s advice to teach our children to love (see Mosiah 4:15).
Scripturally, the Lord is very clear with us on this doctrine—you can’t “fall out of love,” because love is something you decide. Agency plays a fundamental role in our relationships with one another. This being true, we must make the conscious decision that we will love our spouse and family with all our heart, soul, and mind; that we will build, not “fall into,” strong, loving marriages and families. “Don’t just pray to marry the one you love. Instead, pray to love the one you marry.” 7
Let us hearken to President Hinckley’s counsel: “I lift a warning voice to our people. We have moved too far toward the mainstream of society in this matter. Now, of course, there are good families. There are good families everywhere. But there are too many who are in trouble. This is a malady with a cure. The prescription is simple and wonderfully effective. It is love. It is plain, simple, everyday love and respect. It is a tender plant that needs nurturing. But it is worth all of the effort we can put into it.” 8
It is only by our constant, committed effort that we will make the love we share with our spouse a constant for eternity.
7. Spencer W. Kimball, quoted in Joe J. Christensen, “Marriage and the Great Plan of Happiness,” Ensign, May 1995, 64; emphasis in original.


JM wedding card
This is a personal project. The concept for this wedding was origami and the crane as a symbol for the union between two people. The invitation aim was to communicate just by folding it. When you joined together the two sides of the invitation, also the initals of the bride and groom were united.


Over the years of working with parents and adolescents, I continue to see the struggle that parents have with setting boundaries with their children. The struggle comes when we are overwhelmed, tired, emotional and unprepared to handle the conflict.
During the adolescent years, teens can feel overwhelmed by all of their new feelings, emotions,
experiences and responsibilities.
You may find your teen struggling with:
• Identity issues
• Intense peer pressure
• Strong desire to fit into their social groups


Ukraine Customer Visit Yimake Machine Tool Factory
On Apr. 24th
2018, customer from Ukraine came over to our factory to talk about cnc lathe machine cooperation, accompanied by our export general manager customer inspected our machining and installation workshops; after customer visited our workshop we had a meeting in meeting room to further talk about this project.
Poland customer introduced their long developing history and Yimake factory also introduced itself, customer told us they have been studying us before come over to visit on site, customer expressed the intention to start cooperation with us in the near future and they are confident about our future cooperation.


1. What Happened Between You And Your Ex:
Men don't like to open up about their past relationships. Men like to believe that they are the ones who call the shots in a relationship, including when it starts and ends. Unfortunately for them, it is often women who do the dumping, leaving bad scars on a man's ego. If it was as easy as saying "I got dumped", they really would not mind answering the question. But women tend to want to hear more of the details: when? How did it happen? Did it hurt? And the inevitable question they hate most; why??
2. Do I Look Fat?
Every man hates this question because they are afraid to say their mind. Women would know they like an honest opinion, yet they would insist on asking their boyfriend.
Every man would like a girl with the body of a supermodel. He will not love you less if you pick up a few kilos, but he will definitely pay more attention to you if lose a few instead. Just do not expect him to say so!!
3. Do You Like Being With Your Friends More Than Being With Me?
Guys really hate to choose. Men have a saying which women would do well to heed: "Women are for love, but friends are forever". It is very rare that women can make and keep friends the way men can, with such ease, such confidence and such security, a man does not need to see his friends to know that they still love and care for him. But when you ask a question like this, you are forcing him to choose between them or you. This may be easy for women to do, but for men, its IMPOSSIBLE!!!!
4. Where Are We Going In This Relationship:
This is another question that men hate, because they don't have a right answer to the question. A relationship can only end in two ways: happily ever after or as a break-up. But to a young promising guy with the world at his feet and his future in his hand, neither prospect is particularly exciting. If he says that he thinks the two of you might end up getting married, you are going to take that as a promise, Signed!! Sealed!! And Delivered!!!.
5. (In Bed): Where Did You Learn To Do That?
Lolz!! Where do you think he learnt it? From the internet? Yes, he probably got significant experience in the bedroom department before he met you, and yes, someone must have taught him that naughty Trick which gave him off like a rocket. How much experience? And with who? Ahh.. Questions you will never get straight answers to.
6. Where Is Your Wallet?
Why he hates this question is because there might be something incriminating in it. Receipts for flowers, parking summons, business cards.. Especially those with female names on them, phone numbers, bet9ja ticket or even condoms. Like a woman's handbag, a man's wallet can contain all sorts of stuffs that cab be considered strictly for his eyes ONLY!!!
7. Can We Buy A....?
Men hate shopping, just as a woman would find it hell to hang around a car mechanic's workshop all morning, so also your man cannot bear being dragged from one shop to the other. He hates queues... He cannot bear dressing room in stores. He does not understand what can be so difficult about deciding which of eight handbags to buy (especially when they are all black).
8. (In Bed): What Are You Thinking About?
His thoughts after sex are usually far far away. Once its over, it is over, you get what I mean? Women like to chat a little after sex, talk about relationship, how the two of you are doing? But for men, it is over. Next slide, please. Their thoughts are far away; the football match tonight, what is in the fridge whether they should trade in their car.. Stuffs like that. They have moved on..
9. Do You Love Me?
Why he hates the question is because the answer might be no! For a man this is classic Catch-22 situation. To say "yes" would make you assume he is ready to buy you an engagement ring. To say "no" would be utter disaster.. Please ladies, try to refrain from squeezing a declaration of love out of any man, no matter how desperate you are.
10. Are You Attracted To Other Women?
This makes him feel guilty. It is easy for women to be honest on the subject of being attracted to other men, because men just suffer the pain in silence. They do not say anything about it and in a couple of days, they forget everything you said. Unfortunately women can go into fits of rage if their boyfriends confess that they are sometimes attracted to other women. Yes! He does attracted to other women, just as you are attracted to other men...


On our way through the world, we meet someone who touches our heart and Chef Simran is one such person for me.
Her willingness to share knowledge, her charm and her warmth is what sets her apart from other chefs.
My mentoring session with Chef Simran was so motivating and inspiring.
Had a great time with you Chef Simran
Looking forward to meet you soon �


When Aries and Taurus come togetherin a love affair, the partnership is a natural union of love, represented by Taurus, and passion, represented by Aries. This relationship is all about balance. Aries wants to jump right in and get into it, while Taurus prefers to go much more slowly. This can create a problem; Taurus loves to be wooed and romanced – two concepts that are basically foreign to straightforward, brash, totally unsubtle Aries. An Aries-Taurus partnership can be a great learning experience for both signs. Taurus can help Aries rein in some of the more foolish, impractical impulses, and Aries can help Taurus be more spontaneous and adventurous.
Taurus is sensual, patient and gentle. Aries is attracted to these qualities; Aries sees Taurus as his/her rock, totally stable and loyal forever. Taurus sees Aries as a person who knows when and how to grab on life’s opportunities. These signs are a good balance for each other. Aries might sometimes play games with Taurus, or try to push Taurus into making hasty decisions. Aries brings excitement to the relationship, while Taurus brings security and romance. When Aries wants instant gratification, Taurus can show just how sexy and sensual can be.
Aries is ruled by the planet Mars (passion) and Taurus is ruled by the planet Venus (love). Venus and Mars go well together; they represent the two necessary halves of the same relationship coin. The symbols are universally recognized as masculine and feminine, so this relationship is a good balance of these energies.
Aries is a Fire sign and Taurus is an Earth sign. Aries wants to take charge of their own destiny, while Taurus can be assured of security and stability. Sometimes Taurus can be possessive, which independent Aries won’t tolerate. If Aries can assure Taurus that the relationship is strong and that Aries isn’t going anywhere, Taurus can be as flexible and tolerant of independence as Aries needs them to be.
Aries is a Cardinal sign and Taurus is a Fixed sign. In this relationship, Aries is not going to get his/her own way no matter how hard they try – so it’s a much better idea not to try at all. Taurus is a Fixed sign that won’t budge; Aries will get much further with finesse and charm (Taurus is a real sucker for both) than with argument, since Taurus never loses a debate. Both signs want to be the leader in a relationship, so compromise is essential.
What’s the best aspect in this relationship? The passionate nature of the partnership. This is an excellent balance of energy between masculine and feminine, impulsive and deliberate. Their contrasting personalities and ability to learn from one another make them a mutually giving and satisfying relationship.
When two Aries come together in a love affair, there’s bound to be fireworks. These two are always competing, which can make for quite a challenging love match. An Aries-Aries relationship is like looking into a mirror: Aries understand his/her partner’s need for independence because they are the same. At times, they can be possessive. They have to learn not to compete with their partner so much. If they can do so, their relationship can be an extremely powerful couple.
An Aries-Aries love match is a meeting of two very strong spirits; generally, this relationship is positive and enthusiastic. They love to try new things – often extreme sports or some other intense activity. Solving the inevitable problems of a close relationship can be tough due to the two egos. They must learn how to work together. Since both partners like things to go their way, they must make a conscious effort not to be selfish. Aries also has a natural generosity so two of them together can certainly learn to take turns indulging each other. Aries is very open when it comes to their feelings; totally straightforward, two Aries will never have problems with deceit or hypocrisy. Both partners will have trouble with temper outbursts that result from hasty judgments. Aries just wants to get on with it!
Aries is ruled by the planet Mars. Mars was the god of war, and, like two soldiers in a battle, two Aries can either fight together or against each other – but they will fight! Mars also represents passion, and Aries tends to have an active and exciting time with their lover. This energy is only heightened with another Aries. And, though arguments are inevitable for this pair, the best is yet to come – first of all, Aries is too busy to hold a grudge for long, and besides, making up is so much fun!
Aries is a Fire sign. It’s rare for a partner to get tired while the other still wants to continue; two Aries will play hard together and get tired at the same time. Again, two Aries maintain a constant battle over who will be the leader. Neither partner likes to submit, so compromise is essential. If these two can keep their egos in check, the relationship will be smooth.
Aries is a Cardinal sign. In an Aries-Aries combination, both partners are skilled at initiation. When they see what they want, they pursue it without a moment’s thought. They never waste their time feeling each other out before they jump into a relationship.
What’s the best aspect of the Aries-Aries relationship? That exciting spontaneity that always keeps things new and that’s so hard to find with the other signs. Two Aries will never be bored! Their mutual energy and ability to make up after disagreements, makes them a passionate and compatible couple.


Persian-American filmmaker Desiree Akhavan writes, directs and stars in this comedy about a young Brooklyn woman’s struggle to juggle multiple identities; a good Iranian daughter, a street wise Brooklynite and a sexually liberated bisexual twenty-something.
Written for her film studies thesis at New York University, the semi-autobiographical tale follows the awkward exploits of Shirin (Akhavan) as she recovers from the break up with her first girlfriend. The characters she meets along the way include a patronising bra fitter offering self-esteem advice (“Just because your breasts are small, it doesn’t mean they’re not legitimate”) and a bohemian couple with whom she has a disastrous sexual encounter.
Shirin’s split from Maxine (Rebecca Henderson) is messy and drawn out. The experience forces her to consider whether she should come out to her supportive yet very traditional Iranian family and whether she should come out as bisexual or gay. When she eventually plucks up the courage to tell her mother she immediately responds “No you’re not.”
A doomed date with a gay rights lawyer and a conversation with her best friend Crystal (Halley Feiffer) are particular highlights. The cringe inducing date is a hands over eyes situation from start to finish and reminiscing about her recently failed relationship she declares to Crystal “I think we were an ‘it’ couple”, as her friend repeatedly responds to the contrary Shirin stubbornly interrupts her.
Appropriate Behaviour is a unique, funny and irreverent interpretation of the New York Rom-Com. Aside from a hilariously awkward character comedy, it is also an astutely observed critique of the ways in which we confine ourselves by a prescribed set of expectations or ‘appropriate behaviour’.


And of course, it has to be controlled….. I bought my own presents though. A new case for my iPhone and acrylic French tips.
Just thinking. And crying a little. Just stupid thoughts and memories keep coming back. I hate this.
I hate that istill love him and miss him and I wasn’t even with him. He told me he loved me and now he hates me and I don’t even know why.even after all the shit I found out I’m still crying over him.
I fucking hate it.
I want it to stop.
No amount of anti depressants can make it stop or go away and I just want to erase him from my life completely. I wish I could have just not even accepted his friend request on myyearbook in 2011. I wish I never started talking to him after we split.
I wish I never listened to him when he said he loved me. I wish so many things and I can’t erase it and I can’t change it.
Fuck. I haven’t had my heart broken in almost 2 god damn years and I hate how it feels.


Pride, Love is Love, personalised Christmas decoration, same sex couple, wedding decorations, LGBT, mrs and mrs, personalised same sex couple
Love Is Love decoration
Bring some cheer to your Christmas tree this year with this stunning same sex LGBT decoration. This stunning Love is Love decoration is engraved from clear acrylic and comes complete with pride ribbon.
This decoration is sure to take pride of place on any Christmas tree year after year and would make a lovely gift for a same sex couple.


If you suspect someone you know may be suicidal and if you have detected some warning signs of suicide intention, you may be wondering if you should talk about it. It can be common to be apprehensive and think, "What if the person gets angry? Wouldn't it be awkward? What if I'm wrong?"
But if you don't ask, you won't know. The best way to find out is to ask. Talking about feelings and asking a friend or family member if he/she is thinking about suicide can be very difficult but it will show that you care. Asking if someone wants to end his/her life does not increase the likelihood of it happening. It lets the person to know that he/she can talk about suicide and express his/her feelings freely. Do not worry if you can't find the 'right' words because your attitude and your genuine concern is more important.


In this Black Millennial Mom podcast episode, host Mercedes sits down with up-and-coming Texas rapper KenTheMan. They discuss the ups and downs of becoming a celebrity parent and the importance of keeping communication open with your children. The benefits of having a village become the forefront of this conversation, so much so, that local therapist Alice West-Goers from the Therapists of Color Collaborative joins the conversation and gives valuable tips on how parents can take steps to build a positive relationship with their children.
Episode 2 - KenTheMan & The Importance of a Village with Alice West-Goers
by Published on • Last modified onBlack Millennial Mom Episodes


Added: Mollie Nguyen - Date: 25.02.2022 09:36 - Views: 49388 - Clicks: 2570
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