You’re probably not at all surprised to learn that Holly loves Valentine’s Day. After all, it is pink and sparkly. But even though it’s supposed to be about love and happiness, it’s a particularly contentious holiday. We talk about why (and some ways to make it less stressful).
- Gift giving as an economic indicator
- Our histories with the day
- The many criticisms of Valentine’s Day, and other ways to look at it
- Most gift giving in heterosexual relationships on Valentine’s Day: from men to women
- Some other gender trends and trait trends in Valentine’s Day
- Happiness and presents
- Whether Valentine’s Day kills relationships
- Valentine’s Day practices among different relationship configurations
- Gifts for rites of passage vs. rights of progression
- How many Valentine’s Day wedding proposals there are, versus other holidays (I haven’t found a stat for that)
- Star Wars Valentine’s Day
- Listener mail! From Jordan about our wedding proposal episode
- How Valentine’s Day Works
- Close, Angeline and George M. Zinkhan. “A Holiday Loved and Loathed: A Consumer Perspective of Valentine’s Day.” Advances in Consumer Research. 2006.
- Morse, Katherine A. and Steven L. Neuberg. “How do holidays influence relationship processes and outcomes? Examining the instigating and catalytic effects of Valentine’s Day.” Personal Relationships. 2004.
- Netemeyer, Richard G. “A Comparison of Three Behavioral Intention Models: The Case for Valentine’s Day Gift-giving.” Advances in Consumer Research. 1993.
- Ogletree, Shirley Matile. “’How do I Love Thee?’ Let Me Count the Valentines.” Social Behavior and Personality. 1993.
- Otnes, Cele. “The Pleasure and Pain of Being Close: Men’s Mixed Feelings About Participation in Valentine’s Day Gift Exchange.” Advances in Consumer Research. 1994.
- Rugimbana, Robert. “The Role of Social Power Relations in Gift Giving on Valentine’s Day.” Journal of Consumer Behaviour Vol. 3, 1.
- How Valentine’s Day Can Ruin Your Relationship
- From DINKS to polyamory, the guide to how people spend Valentine’s Day
- Valentine’s Day 2012, by the Numbers
- The New Valentine Stories: What We Expect


Miraculous love based in self care.
Long before AntiqueHoney got married, the root word of marriage was of further inquiry and reflection.
The sacredness of devotation, prompted a movement of precana healing, and the development of self care as a basis for ALL relationships.
Approaching the questions of marriage but within a relationship as a bride of Christ, author Monica Price Fish reflects on the cultivation of faithful alignment as a path to matrimony .
Etymology. From Old French matremoine, from Latin mātrimōnium (“marriage, wedlock”), from māter (“mother”) + -mōnium (“obligation”).


Nikki has a serious problem. She can't decide which guy she wants to marry. But she has to make a choice... Jack or Jean. Oh well, when a girl can't decide which man to love, there's only one solution... Love 'em all!
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Divorce Research Paper
Divorce: Causes and Consequences
Divorce is a serious problem in many countries with divorce rates increasing from year to year. This paper focuses on divorce, its definition, problems associated with divorce, its causes and consequences, concentrating specifically on divorced women. The paper also offers a list of possible solutions the government may find in order to help divorced women to cope with post-divorce problems.
1. What is divorce?
All definitions of divorce take into account the legal aspect of this phenomenon. Emerys.com defines divorce as “the legal ending of a Marriage so that the husband and wife are free to re-marry” (emerys.com).
US divorce statistics have shown a dramatic increase in the rates of divorce in the past years. In 1920 only one marriage in seven broke up, in 1960 this number was up to one in four, and in 1974 it was approaching one in three. Since then, the number has been growing and now threatens to hit one in two, meaning that approximately every second marriage in the US will be dissolved sooner or later (Gutierrez 1988).
2. What are the problems of divorce?
Divorce enhances many risks for both male and female divorcees. Researchers at Erasmus University in Rotterdam have conducted a study that indicates that “married people have the lowest morbidity rates, while the divorced show the highest” (Stanton). Divorcees have higher risk of injuries as well as diseases such as tuberculosis and mental illness. Overall, a divorced woman is more twice likely to die from any cause than a married woman. The numbers is 3.4 times for men.
A study on suicide published in Social Science Quarterly demonstrated that divorce is directly related to suicide rates, enhancing the risk of suicide threefold.
The rate of violent crime victimization is significantly higher for divorced women than for married women, 45:11 for a thousand females over twelve (Stanton).
3. What are the causes of divorce?
Causes of divorce are diverse, and very often it is more than one cause that brings the spouses to the fatal decision. Moreover, in a legal trial, almost everybody involved – the lawyer, both spouses, and their children may have each their own ideas as to the causes that led to the couple’s divorce.
Minor causes, exemplified by bad or unpleasant habits possessed by one of the spouses, or disagreements over details of children’s upbringing are usually the shield behind which the marriage partners want to cover their more profound contradictions that have deeper causes of discontent.
In an analysis of divorce issues of the contemporary America posted on the website of “Americans for Divorce Reform” a divorce lawyer lists the reasons for divorce, given by spouses themselves that most often surface in court trials. The list includes “poor communication”, “financial problems”, “a lack of commitment to the marriage”, “a dramatic change in priorities”, and “infidelity” (Americans for Divorce Reform). The list of second-popular causes includes “failed expectations or unmet needs”, “addictions and substance abuse”, “physical, sexual or emotional abuse”, and “lack of conflict resolution skills” (Americans for Divorce Reform).
Out of the reasons contributed by the lawyer “a lack of commitment to the marriage” seems to be the most crucial and substantial one. Ultimately, almost all divorce causes can be reduced to lack of commitment, since a marriage that has commitment on the part of both partners is definitely going to be more successful as husband and wife are more readily able to find solutions to financial problems and remove any vestige of emotional or sexual abuse from their marriage.
While the above-mentioned list included the reasons that are directly responsible for the dissolution of marriages, there are also factors, noted by sociologists, that do not directly lead a couple to divorce but still contribute to greater danger of divorce as people in some groups are more prone to dissolve marriages than others.
Thus, people who have a low educational level divorce more often than those who are educated. As a result, divorce tends to be a more frequent phenomenon in couples with a low socioeconomic status as they usually have a worse education. Professional groups tend to have more stable marriages. Racial factors are also reflected in the divorce statistics of the US marriages. Nonwhite marriages separate more often than white marriages. Family background does play a role too. Children from unhappy families or those whose parents divorced are more prone to divorce themselves. Spouses who are not believers and do not attend church divorce more often than believers. Some other groups are also in greater danger of divorce than others, for example, spouses of different races, different religions, and a significant age gap between spouses (Gutierrez 1988).
The attempts to pinpoint the reasons of divorce from the point of view of the society as a whole have led some sociologists to claim that this phenomenon is the result of “growing individualisation and secularisation in society” (Sociological causes and consequences of divorce). Individualisation and secularisation exert influence on traditional value system shaving priority off the value of marriage. As a divorce decision often weighs on the trade-off between the cost of marriage dissolution, researchers suppose that divorce rates should be higher among people with a good education and a high income, since this lowers the cost of divorce for them (Sociological causes and consequences of divorce). This supposition, however, contrasts with reality: as mentioned in the previous paragraph, couples with lower education tend to divorce more often. Perhaps, the explanation here lies in the fact that decision to divorce is conditioned by a complex interplay of factors, and the cost of divorce may not be the most influential of them.
Other demographic factors that have been seen to raise the risk of divorce are the age of the spouses when they get married (people who get married younger divorce more often), rapid upward social mobility; cohabitation and premarital birth; presence of a large number of unmarried women in a working environment stimulates men to divorce, as well as the opposite situation enhancing the chances of meeting a more eligible spouse (Ambert 2002).
Anne-Marie Ambert from York University confirms the point that the higher divorce rate is the consequence of an increase in individualization and secularization. She notes that the divorce rates have been picking up since the 19th century as marriages became increasingly desacralized, losing their religious basis. Since then the importance of individual choice has made marriage more of a sacral matter and less a covenant with the Creator. Another aspect that historically contributed to the popularity of divorce was liberalization of divorce legislation that led to an increase in divorce and made the severance of family ties easier from the legal point of view (Ambert 2002).
But perhaps the most important factor Ambert mentions lies on the psychological plane: the contemporary “emphasis on rights rather than duties” has formed a hedonistic mentality leading people to put individual enjoyment above responsibilities that are associated with marriage. If a person puts the satisfaction of one’s sexual and emotional needs above marriage ties, this kind of union is likely to run into problems if spouses feel the union does not meet their needs. When personal gratification is the priority, marriage is most important only when love and support is present, and loses its attractiveness when love is gone. The “threshold of tolerance” when young Westerners decide they no longer need marriage has been lowering of late (Ambert 2002).
4. What are the consequences or bad effects that divorce will bring to divorced women both economically and socially?
In a study, Anne-Marie Ambert has found that divorce leads to poverty for a great number of women and their children. In Canada, women’s household income loses about 50%, in comparison to 25% lost by men (Ambert 2002). One could assume that a similar proportion could be observed in other developed nations, while in developing countries the disparity can be even greater as the difference between men’s and women’s income is even greater.
A study by Finnie shows that women’s poverty jumps to 43% after divorce against 16% before divorce. After three years elapse after the divorce, women still have an income well below what was available to them before and below the income of their former husbands (Ambert 2002).
Thus, the economic consequences for women are more serious than for men. This is caused by the fact that in practically any society men earn more than women, and thus after the divorce men retain their higher incomes while women lose their support that earlier came from the husband.
Now, however, the situation has been changing causing men to suffer larger economic losses than before, which has partially equated them with women. First, the legal system in Western countries has become stricter in enforcing support payments, simultaneously raising their size. Second, the discrepancy in pay among men and women has been shrinking, and men whose wives have a higher income are going to lose more.
The divorce is hardest on children, and as mothers tend to be the primary caregivers after the dissolution of marriage, their fate as single mothers is far from enviable. In 1994 the study of the Vanier Institute of the Family showed that 21% of children lived in poverty, the rate that jumped to 65.8% for children brought up by single mothers (Ambert 2002). A single mother after she divorces has to provide for the children no matter how big or small support payments are.
Besides economic issues, women are also suffering from social and psychological effects of divorce. Socially, divorced women are subject to social discrimination in many societies while men are usually exempt from it. However, this inequality is shrinking as the status of the divorced woman is elevating due to higher divorce rates as divorce becomes a more common phenomenon (Gutierrez 1988). Higher divorce rates have been believed to contribute to the removal of stigmatisation of the divorcees, as society begins to see divorce as more acceptable (Social causes and consequences of divorce).
Both genders are hit by psychological effects of the divorce. Clearly, if divorce is caused by the decision of one party to abandon another, the party most affected by stress is the one abandoned. Still, women are severely hurt by stress that relates to the deterioration in post-divorce socioeconomic status, while men are plagued by negative sentiments over losing custody of their children (Gutierrez 1988).
Some researchers believe that divorce leads to inequality because divorce often happens in families where the cost of divorce often outweighs the benefits. Unless there is a serious clash between the spouses resulting in some extremely adverse behaviour on the part of one of the spouses, such as physical abuse or alcoholism, the costs are almost certain to be heavier than the benefits. Among the negative consequences are “waste of energy, emotional instability, loss of resources, the hardening of the battle between the competing ex-spouses, less parental authority over children, lasting tension in the family” (Social causes and consequences of divorce). In case the costs of the divorce are more serious than the benefits, the divorce is going to exacerbate inequality of the divorcees as compared to the other members of the society.
The general rule of thumb is that the dissolution of a good marriage results in costs that outweigh the benefits, while breakup of a “bad marriage” is bringing greater benefits to one or both of the spouses. Even so, the post-divorce reality shows that divorced men are more likely to suffer from alcohol abuse and divorced women are more prone to depression. Ambert has found that a lot of divorcees believe that “they are not any happier and even are more unhappy than during their marriage” (Ambert 2002).
Thus, divorce results in many negative consequences for women in the economic, social and psychological spheres. However, the bright side of the divorce need not be neglected as well. Sometimes, closing one door in fact opens another, and divorcees get a chance to meet their new love. Besides, the sharp deterioration in the economic status can inspire a woman to make quick advances in career building, or open up horizons for self-realization in other areas.
5. What should the government do in order to help divorced women in the society?
The government can take active part in alleviating the negative consequences of divorce for women and increasing their chances to adapt to their post-divorce life.
The government could be the crucial agent in helping divorced women with their careers, offering employers incentives in promoting or hiring new divorcees, as well as offering them vacancies in public organizations to help them cope with a sharp fall in income that is going to hit many after the divorce proceedings.
Besides, the government needs to pay close attention to the procurement of women’s rights to financial support from their husbands, especially for those women who retain custody of their children after the divorce. Probably, the threshold of the payment amount could be raised for single mothers who are below the poverty level.
In order to assist in the social adaptation of women, the officials could promote the public’s view of divorced women as society members that enjoy equal prestige and respect with other members. This is relatively difficult to accomplish as it is often difficult to separate the view of the divorce as a negative phenomenon and the perception of divorcees as social failures. As mentioned above, the factor that mostly promotes the lessening inequality between divorced women and their married or single counterparts is the increase in divorce frequency. Hopefully, other reasons can be found to promote the improvement in the image of the divorced woman, such as professional achievements of the divorcees or their successes in building new marriages.
It is difficult to assist the divorced person on a psychological level, as divorce is an individual misfortune that has to be conquered be a divorcee personally. Yet, the government can set up a free or affordable counselling service that will be aimed at helping divorced women to fight the divorce consequences.
As divorce statistics are becoming threatening in many developed nations, the alleviation of the negative consequences of divorce gains in importance. At the moment a growth in number of divorces is caused by the change in societal values as people tend to place greater emphasis on self-enjoyment that is often hampered by family burdens. This makes people less committed to their marriages, although they often tend to substitute more specific problems such as alcohol abuse or financial problems when they name the reasons for the breakup of their marriages.
The government has to take an active part in helping the divorced women to struggle with post-divorce effects that are often harder for them than for divorced men, offering employment assistance, regulating support benefits, and offering affordable psychological counselling.
Remember, free research papers, sample research papers and research paper examples on Divorce topics are traced by plagiarism detection systems. All samples online are plagiarized. Don’t download them and submit them as your own research project for high school, college or university. Why not to get a 100% original research paper at PapersMart.net? Need a free quote?
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There is no marriage that is a bed of roses because all marriages have their own issues. While some issues are solved quite easily and settled, others are not and require intervention from marriage counsellors. Because there is an option of the kind of counsellor to go for, you will have to choose between a Christian one or a counsellor. In some ways, the both of them agree but there are many differences in their approach. It is obvious that because it is a Christian approach, it has to come from the Bible but the secular approach is based on mental health and general wellbeing of the society. Some counselors integrate the two to achieve their intended result. So why choose the Christian marriage counsellor over the secular one? Here are a few reasons why?
One reason why you and your spouse should choose a Christian marriage counselling approach is first of course because you are Christians and you therefore know and understand the virtues of marriage from a Christian perspective. From this foundation you will be able to search for the best counsellor fit for your marriage. The next step after having the foundation is to find divinely inspired answers to the challenges the couple is facing.
The Christian based values are unequivocal on the way marriages are supposed to be. A marriage counselor is easily able to guide a couple based on this to determine what God’s intent for marriage was meant to be and thus brings in the balance that is required to settle issues between the couple.
In secular marriage counselling, therapy mostly focuses on blame and sometimes this separates a couple further rather than bringing them together. Often times, the focus is on what the other partner did to you last week, last month and so on and do forth in a bid to instigate healing, and this doesn’t bring in solutions that work or if they do, not well. The latter form, the Christian way, focuses on the complete removal of blame and thus helps couples seek forgiveness both from God and from each other. Things that cause chaos in a marriage include, greed, lust, pride and such feelings and the Christian based counselling helps to deal with them thus helping a couple heal and restore their marriage even after serious issue like when a partner has had an affair. This tactic actually holds fast and long in a couple even way after the counselling is over and normal life has been resumed and is applied every time an issue crop ups making the marriage much stronger and better. This should sure make you want to go for the Christian marriage counselling over the secular one.


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Should wife cuckold me
Florida went on about how he got off on jealousy. He liked knowing the woman he was with was sleeping around on him. The newly single part of my mind got excited. I had scored a cuckold (definition: the husband of an adulteress, often regarded as an object of derision, but in the fetish sense, cuckolds were willing). Florida wanted to watch me seduce, tease and flirt with random men. He wanted me to screw whoever I wanted when I wanted, and explicitly detail my sex life. As someone who had always struggled with infidelity, I felt as though I had hit the jackpot.


How to build a relationship with a "silent type"
How to build a relationship with a " silent type "
Usually the best way to build healthy relationships and resolve the conflict is a candid conversation. After all, if people seek a common goal, if people something in common, that all conflicts between them - is nothing more than a misunderstanding. A conversation allows everyone to express their position and to outline his vision of the situation. In the end , as a result of a call parties can always find a way to solve the problem and build a relationship on.
Here are just working this way is not always the case. How, for example , be if your partner was " the silent type ?" At issue in this case is not just about those people who generally prefer to remain silent and speak little. However, and for them , too . But we have in mind first of all the people who refuse to discuss the crucial moments of the problem. They can just stare at you, not expressing his position, but did not agree with yours. You also can only guessing what's going on in the mind of such a person.
How to deal with such a person , how to build a relationship with him ? Let's try to understand.
For starters let's talk about those who are basically no different talkative . Some people have a certain isolation and secrecy . It does not mean that this person is closed for you. Just because it works : large companies and many intimate conversations - it is not his element . In the psychology of such people are called introverts .
Talk introvert is very difficult. This is especially true of conflicts and quarrels. With an introvert trying to stress even more inward . In such a situation it is best to try to slow down the degree of the situation. First of all , try to speak calmly , without acrimony . Describe your position as you can more fully and consistently. It is not necessary for something to blame introvert , just explain to him that you are not happy with the situation .
In a calm conversation these people come willingly . Encourage your partner , too, about their views do not have visited it and do not argue , let it finish . During an important conversation with a " silent type " is very important to show him that you are ready for serial constructive dialogue. Scandal, and the cries of them , as a rule, can not tolerate , and therefore can ignore them altogether .
Often, in order to talk " undecideds ", takes time. After a stormy argument to such a person needs time to think about all the good and bring thoughts in order. Let the silent type to be alone with yourself, it is especially valued. And just when your partner to think things through , you will be able to discuss the situation .
Nothing to say
It happens that a very sociable person suddenly becomes silent type . This is possible when a person simply have nothing to say to you in response . Often, such a situation is the case when the partner feels guilty before you. In this case, it is pointless excuses, but also to ask for forgiveness , he does not dare . It only remains silent.
This problem can also be solved by an open and constructive dialogue. In quiet surroundings ask your partner to share what he holds . It is important to let him know that he can speak with you about their feelings openly , without embarrassment.
If you just get a partner for dialogue fails, you can resort to trickery . Try to change the subject. For example, instead of discussing the substance of the conflict , talk about what kind of movie it is better to look. This will help to start a dialogue , and your partner will be revealed . Gradually you will be able to pass on to more important topics.
In relations with the silent ones , both in relations with any people , the most important thing to keep the attention of your partner. Try to understand the reasons why people do not want to go to the contact. Let him know that you can share it all , everything, and it does not alienate you. " Silent " should know that you can discuss anything . This will allow your partner to trust you completely , and if there is trust , and then to remain silent does not make sense .
Open Relationship: Pros and cons
Open Relationship : Pros and cons
On the so -called free relations have heard many , but not all, just imagine what it's like. In this article we will try to understand all the intricacies of an open relationship , and to determine for whom they are appropriate and which are advantageous .
What is an open relationship
In our time, the classical patriarchal family in which the man is the breadwinner and the woman waiting for him at home with a ready meal , is no longer a mandatory norm. Society is more tolerant of other forms of relationships between two people. One of these new forms and is in an open relationship . They are based on the desire to rid himself of a pair pangs of jealousy , of the scandals and trifling quarrels.
At the core of an open relationship is the ability of each partner to do almost anything he wants. Free pure relationship not recognize any restrictions. This means that the relationship is actually not imply any commitment. A man can go in the evening in a bar with friends, can not come home at night , can go on vacation. The same freedom there and a woman . Moreover, each partner can have sex with any other person . The second partner has the same right , and therefore there is no change and no jealousy.
In an open relationship are clearly defined the concept of " love " and " sex." Love - it's something that happens between two people , but sex can be on the side. When a man and a woman can experience very strong feelings for each other and even married . They can be full of harmony and understanding, and high personal freedom - is a reflection of the degree of confidence in each other.
Curious paradox is the fact that an open relationship is the strongest . Partners have the opportunity at any time to go to the next but still remain together. This is due to the peculiarities of the human mind , when forbidden fruit becomes available, it loses much of its appeal .
For whom fit in an open relationship
Open relationship are the most popular in Western Europe. There they often choose :
Young people . Young boys and girls, not yet ready for a serious relationship and responsibility, often opting for an open relationship . This allows them to build strong alliances with one hand, and be able to enjoy the youth on the other.
Note, however, that for the free relations need a high degree of emotional maturity. After all, to overcome possessive , which are written in our genetic level.
Careerists . Successful people who simply do not have time for jealousy and scandals , too often chosen in an open relationship . This allows them to have a steady partner, but do not care about any joint plans , do not worry about loyalty, and so on.
Couples who are married for a long time . It is ironic , but in an open relationship are often the salvation of marriage. Some freedom of manners can ignite the senses with a bang and make the lives of each of the spouses is much more diverse. In addition, each of the pair is able to recall once more , for he loved his soul mate .
Open relationship - it is a radical choice . It assumes that you know how to control yourself , and you do not have a sense of ownership over a partner . Such a relationship can be a boon , but only for those who really need them . However, do not deliberately adjust to them if you feel that you do not fit.
My favorite is calling marriage: who is to blame and what to do?
My favorite is calling marriage : who is to blame and what to do?
Wants to marry almost any girl . So it has opened a nature, it is written in the female DNA. And, of course , when a girl appears a loved one , a relationship with him when folded , the desire to be faithful to his wife only intensified. And the stronger it becomes , the more time you meet . But , often , there is a situation that has been held for more than one year, and the coveted " Will you marry me? " Did not sound .
Why is this happening , and how to fight it ? Let's deal .
The man is not mature
The most common cause of problems is often an emotional unavailability men to become her husband . That is , in simple terms , it is not yet ripe . Note: this does not mean that he does not walk up ! It is not necessary that your man interested in other women , he might well have to settle down and choose your one and only . But here's to marry until he does not want.
Most often this is due to the fact that the man does not want to take on the extra responsibility. He likes a certain sense of freedom , the ability to scatter the clothes around the house and watch sports broadcasts a beer with friends.
If such is your partner , then you should proceed with caution. In any case it is impossible to cut a man , that you are very firmly vobet his mind a negative attitude toward marriage in general . Also, do not discuss with him the names of your future children and the color of the wallpaper in the living room , it's very scary these men .
Instead, try to prepare your partner. Encourage your child to live together for some time , say , a week or a month . Show him that he would benefit from the decision to marry. In a short time , and cherished ring will show off your finger of .
A man already burned
In this case we are talking about the men who were already married, but for some reason it fell apart. Man is afraid of repeating the scenario that has already passed through . Also, perhaps from a previous marriage , and he made another bad experience . Perhaps his ex-wife after marriage no longer look after themselves, it has dramatically changed the character , as you know, not for the better , and now he is afraid that such a transformation will happen to you.
In this case, you need to talk frankly with her man . Try to find out , which is why his last marriage broke up . The most important thing here - this is to make it clear that you are not his ex , and not all women are like her. Show him your vision of the future of the family , show your skills a good housewife . It is important that the man realized that he had with you all may be quite different.
In the world there are men who do not get married just because they do not want. The point here is not the emotional maturity , it is just what might be all right. Matter of principle : these men - a confirmed bachelor . They fully use the advantages that gives them the situation. On the one hand, they have an ongoing relationship , which means that they can count on a delicious dinner if guests will drop in , and regular sex . On the other hand, technically they are completely free .
Convince such a man - not an easy task . Perhaps this is all to anyone and will never succeed . To try or not - is up to you.
The most important thing for a man to be made you an offer , do not overdo it . Do not scare a man with talk of future children and life . Instead, move toward its goal gradually , showing a man that of marriage , he will benefit.
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Online Dating Tips For Successful Relationships
Online dating can feel chaotic and frustrating when it doesn’t yield the immediate results you want. However, with committed couples meeting and marrying through apps and websites all the time, it’s worth giving the process a chance.More info :amoroushug.com
It’s important to select an app that matches your relationship goals. Different platforms cater to different crowds, from the DTF hookup ethos of Tinder to Bumble’s focus on connecting users by mutual interest or attributes. Pick an app that suits your intentions and stick with it for a while before moving on to others.
A well-written profile will help you set clear intentions and match with people who align with your dating goals. It’s also important to consider your priorities and dealbreakers, and create a profile that highlights those things. Relationship therapist Rhonda Milrad suggests writing down a list of your top relationship needs and intentions and using those when evaluating profiles.
Choosing the Right Platform: A Guide to Online Dating Apps
Remember that personality and values are as important as physical attraction when it comes to relationships. Even if someone has a great smile or witty remarks, they could be a bad match for you if their morals and values don’t align with yours.
For your safety and to avoid any potential catfishing, it’s best to meet up in a public place for the first few dates. It may help to let a trusted friend know where you’re going and text them halfway through or when your date is ending so they can check in.


Carlson, Jon., Kjos, Diane., Love, Patricia.Dick, Charlotte. (Eds.) (2009) Imago couples therapyMill Valley, CA : Psychotherapy.net,MLA Citation
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Imago couples therapy [videorecording] /
Psychotherapy.net ; Governors State University ; Allyn & Bacon.
|Names:||Carlson, Jon. | Kjos, Diane. | Love, Patricia. | Dick, Charlotte|
|Published:||Mill Valley, CA : Psychotherapy.net, c2009.|
|Edition:||Institutional/instructor's version, licensed for teachiang and insitutional use.|
Couples therapy with the experts video series.
|Topics:||Marital psychotherapy. | Communication in marriage.|
|Genres:||Video recordings for the hearing impaired.|
|Physical Description:||1 videodisc (108 min.) : sd., col. ; 4 3/4 in. + 1 instructor's manual (72 p. ; 19 cm.)
|Language Note:||In English with optional English subtitles.
|Summary:||Before delving into the button issues with couples, how do you get them to speak to each other without defenses or explosive arguments running rampant? Imago couples therapy provides the structure for clients to have calm, empathetic conversations with each other. Pat Love demonstrates the process with a couple who report that they don't know how to discuss problems without tensions running high. Love carefully and adeptly helps the husband communicate fears and requests to the wife reflect them back correctly. The couple leaves the session optimistic, with new tools of communications, and insight into unique ways they can demonstrate their love for each other.
|Performer:||Hosted by Jon Carlson, Diane Kjos ; therapist, Pat Love.
|Notes:||Instructor's manual by Charlotte Dick, Pat Love.
Originally produced in 2001.
Dick, Charlotte, M.A.
Governors State University.
Allyn and Bacon.


How to fancy him again
According to a recent report, the average Britain makes love 118 times a year. If you?re married, you will probably suspect that someone has been boasting or that single people have been very busy.
The guilty secret for many long-term couples is that although they still love each other, they seldom have sex. Once upon a time, lust might have brought them together but is now the one thing missing from their relationship.
Love and marriage might go together, but often sex and marriage don?t seem remotely compatible. When you?ve been together for years, how do you keep the passion alive? Here are 10 hot tips to keep the romance alive:
1. Be intimate without being sexual by casual touching, such as holding hands in the street.
2. Look at your partner when you speak to them. At the height of the honeymoon phase, couples look at each other 70 per cent of the time. Couples who?ve been together longer look into each others eyes for as little as 30 percent of the time.
3. Plan a sex date: for example a bottle of wine and a candlelit meal at home. Anticipation is a bridge to desire.
4. Create distance: see your partner through the eyes of others. This creates room for desire in couples who do everything together.
5. Play is important. I know couples who?ve had food fights and played on swings and slides. Games break down barriers between couples and reveal partners in a new light, and this is ultimately very sexy.
6. Use fantasy: allow daydreams of strangers or famous faces to simmer until you get into the bedroom.
7. Change location for love-making: don?t be shy about expressing your preferences - in the shower, four-poster bed, cheap motel, or on a blanket on the ground.
8. Be romantic: enjoy dressing up and going out, dance together, place candles by the bed, rose petals in the bath.
9. Be erotic: watch yourself making love in a mirror, share saucy videos together, buy adult toys.
10. Be sensual: give each other massages, cuddle on the sofa semi-clothed, share long lingering kisses.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-434578/How-fancy-again.html#ixzz19Z75yolx


Embroidery * Sewing * Etc
I love that last picture. I hope your day continues to be great!
Happy Mother's Day my dear friend. Love ya
I love that picture, too, Karen. And happy Mother's Day to you, too, bud! Hope you guys had a great one! Love ya!
Soggy Bottoms likes


Better Love Next Time
They exchanged words as if strangers
neither shows whats going on inside
she knew they would never meet again
wishing him well-being and happiness.
Many thoughts race through her mind
had he felt pity for her instead of love
wished he'd been the one to get away
she wouldn't be here dying inside now.
His warm ways enticed from the start
caused her to fall deep in love with him
then he turned traitor to her emotions
he played god with an innocent heart.
Maybe he'd only felt fondness for her
maybe she'd misinterpreted his signals
but no he'd spoken words of endearment
he'd said to her many times I love you.
Looking deep into her tear-stained eyes
he told her someday she'd find that one
that would be truly worthy of her heart
she'd find love she so rightly deserved.
She looked at her image in the mirror
as his words were echoing in her mind
someday she would find her true prince
she would find better love next time.
2013 © Bonnee Sue Opp
~dedicated to Zaher~


On love, boys, and Nutella
I love Nutella… I love running… I love watching the sunrise… I love you!
I remember in grade 7, my homeroom teacher said to me,
“Melissa, I think you love being in love”.
Well, darn tootin’, she was right.
I mean, aside from Bon Jovi giving love a bad name, nothing compares to the different ways that love manifests in our lives. The love of things that make us happy, activities that bring joy, family, friends, pets, and of course, the objects of our affection.
Love is a wonderful and volatile feeling; it can mean and apply to different things and can be expressed differently across cultures. Does love and affection vary by sex?
Let’s take a closer look.
Love at First Sight: The Eyes Have It
Do you think love at first sight is possible? For me, it’s a resounding yes, but being completely biased…
Let’s see what the ”experts” say.
Love at first sight is a well-known and interesting phenomenon, and denotes the strong attraction to a person when first meeting. I have mused over this research before; how our eyes move tells us (or researchers) if the emotion behind the eyes is love or lust.
While one of my friends said this was obvious, sometimes us researchers investigate seemingly obvious topics. Researchers at the University of Chicago found that where your date looks may tell you if love or lust is at play.
Apparently, automatic attentional processes – such as eye gaze – may differentiate feelings of love from feelings of lust. This was studied by looking at the different networks of brain regions that are activated by love and sexual desire while male and female students looked at pictures of attractive strangers.
Eye movement data from the study showed marked differences in eye movement patterns, depending on if the participants reported feeling sexual desire/lust or romantic love.
People tended to visually fixate on the face, especially when they said an image elicited a feeling of romantic love.
However, with images that evoked sexual desire/lust, the eyes moved from the face to fixate on the rest of the body. This was found for male and female participants.1 The takeaway? If they are checking out your body, they may only be in it for the short term!
I Love You!
Do you think females or males fall in love faster? How would you describe falling in love? Who says “I love you” first? Women are usually expected to be more expressive in relationships.
Interestingly, depending on the study, some report males saying I love you first, while others report females. What has your experience been? One fascinating finding was that the female participants reported men saying “I love you” as one of the top most romantic acts, while the men did not!
In a college sample, 9 out of 10 people expressed that it is likely a woman will fall in love first in a relationship, and people believed that a woman will say, “I love you” first. However, the actual research showed that men reported falling in love sooner and that three times as many men as women said, “I love you” first to their partners.2 What has your experience been? Did you say I love you first? Do you remember your first “I love you”?
The Behavior of Love: Do Females Show More Love?
Stereotypes in western society would have us believe that the female sex is more adept at showing love in romantic relationships than males. This can be seen in fan-favourite books such as Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus which tend to exaggerate behaviors for entertainment value.
Evolutionary theory suggests that ‘romantic’ behaviors developed to support survival of offspring. As a result, the female sex invest time and energy into gaining male emotional involvement to secure a ‘long term’ commitment while the males only need a short-term encounter to pass on their genes, and have evolved dominant, competitive tendencies to secure females. Do you think this holds true today?
Evolutionary theory says that males and females develop certain ‘loving’ behaviors connected to the biological and age-old need for procreation and survival.
The nature of these differences is that females are expected to be more likely to express love by maintaining a warm emotional climate in their relationships, and males are expected to be more likely to show love by initiating sex and engaging in instrumental or companionate behaviors.
How does your relationship measure up? The female as a passive participant in initiating sex doesn’t seem like something we should want to preserve.3
This definitely needs to be explored further in same-sex relationships and those without traditional family systems.
How do you express love? Make sure to send some love today and put a smile on someone’s face.
If you made it this far then I am sending some love to you.
Your friendly Brain and Love Crusader,
1. Bolmont M, Cacioppo JT, Cacioppo S. Love is in the gaze: an eye-tracking study of love and sexual desire. Psychol Sci. 2014;25(9):1748-1756. doi:10.1177/0956797614539706
2. Marissa A. Harrison & Jennifer C. Shortall (2011) Women and Men in Love: Who Really Feels It and Says It First?, The Journal of Social Psychology, 151:6, 727-736, DOI: 10.1080/00224545.2010.522626
3. Schoenfeld, E. A., Bredow, C. A., & Huston, T. L. (2012). Do Men and Women Show Love Differently in Marriage? Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 38(11), 1396–1409. doi:10.1177/0146167212450739


i follow back
RVCA x FUCT “Protect Freedom” Capsule Collection
I love you so much you have no idea, you make me smile even when I'm mad. You love me for who I am. And never have tried to change me. Thank you for always being there for me. Couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend #2YearsStrong
I love you more baby and I’m here for you
I don’t think there’s anything sadder than when two people are meant to be together and something intervenes.
|—||Walter Bishop (via a—failure)|


Romance is a fantastic thing. It has the power to make minutes of life seem magical; it brings individuals together, makes you laugh, provides you something to anticipate, keeps everything feeling fresh, lets you know that someone likes and desires you. It’s no surprise why this is an essential part of all healthy and love marital relationships. It brings you and your partner closer together and keeps you connected.
However, many couples get disheartened with their relationship and feel as though their trigger has gradually fizzled out. This is a typical concern and is simple to understand. The reality is that this is completely natural and is to be anticipated. Not because you no longer love each other, but due to the fact that you and your partner are growing and moving through a procedure of change.
When you first started dating each other and were going through the ‘honeymoon stage’ romance came naturally to the 2 of you. No effort was required for it to exist and it was passionate, intimate, extreme – fantastic. It doesn’t take wish for you to obtain used to each other and truth to sink in. This does not have to be a bad thing though.
Everything begins to settle down and become less of a rollercoaster flight. There are expectations that the romance and whirlwind experience you needed to begin with will simply continue of its own accord. For this to occur, you need to feed it and invest into your marriage. It won’t simply exist between you, particularly if you have busy lives, tasks to go to, expenses to pay and kids to consider.
There are a few areas of focus on keep in mind of if you wish to get the spark back in your relationship. Firstly, you have to put energy into your relationship. By this I imply enjoy exactly what you have and let your partner understand that you like them. Show this by telling them each day. Select your time and you’ll understand how delighted that makes them by the smile on their face!
As well as this, be there for them; pay attention to what they need to state, let them get negativeness out of their system if they’ve had a long day, provide assistance. They will be so grateful for this and will naturally reciprocate. This sets an actually great tone to have in your relationship which you can build on in no time.
The next action is to be pleased of each other. When your partner has done something caring and thoughtful, thank them. Let them understand how privileged you feel to be their spouse or wife. Once again, matching each other like this enhances positive communication and strengthens your relationship.
Lastly, be affectionate. An error that is often made only doing so as a precursor to sex. Whilst that’s ok, and a healthy sex life is necessary in marriage, Sex Toy Australia it can be so much more than that. Snuggle up with each other on the sofa, go for a night walk hand in hand, share a loving and restorative hug after a long day, passionately kiss each other and delight in the moment.


I loved him, and he loved me. But happily ever after was never the end. How do you stay with a person who never craves you as you do him? What do you do when he makes you feel Everything- makes you feel beautiful and cherished inside out. Someone who treats your body like a shrine and can make you feel sinful in all the right ways. What do you do when the same person can go for weeks not talking to you, not because he doesn’t care, just that you were never as all consuming for him as he was to you.
After a point, your daily calls feel like an intrusion. Your ego feeds you sweet poison by whispering words of ‘why can’t he, why should I’…
I loved him and I still do, and I never had a cause to leave. He was never perfect, he was flawed and scarred. He was real, and I gave all that had to him `and I felt more secure than ever before. But he was never mine.
One summer night as we made love, beads of perspiration coated us -a saga of the hot air and the act of passion. I remember looking into his eyes, the intensity of his stare shook me to my very core and I came and as he cradled me to him riding out his own climax I knew nothing could ever compare to that feeling of being truly content as on that ordinary hot summer night. We spoke for hours that night, I can recall some snippets of poetry and prose, some of politics, I can recall laughing till my sides ached and crying in his arms as my sobs shook us, joined as we were. I have many such memories imprinted into my mind; ordinary events, those of little importance in the grand scheme of thing.
Despite it all we fell apart, and I never stopped loving him. Alas, when has love ever been enough? We drifted apart smoothly just as we fell in love without conflict or confusion.
Some days we talk and it’s easy, familiar. The thought ‘what if’ does creep in, albeit rarely, but that passes quickly. I am still in love with him as he with me, nothing will ever change that. But our love made us choose to leave- we chose a happiness that surpassed what we had.
Belonging to someone who never really owns you, to me was the worst sort of burden. The mind perceives deception especially when there are grounds for none. On the nights where I’d sit by the phone fighting ego, I felt weak, dependent, and needy. For me a middle ground never existed. For him, he knew he could never change because some people are just not wired that way.
Sometimes you can love a person to your very core and yet know that you have to walk apart.
He was real and yet unattainable. I still love him and I always will, but when has love ever been enough?
We’re lovers of infinity, in love with concepts and beings who never truly belong, to us or anyone else. We are the people cursed with a love whose intensity perhaps feeds of never being reciprocated… We are not the tales of unrequited love, or of dead lovers and forgotten dreams. We are not the summer ‘that was’; for these are the tragedies of love that mercifully end.


Camilla Parker Bowles, the Duchess of Cornwall, is famously married to Prince Charles. The pair got off to a rocky start and she’s historically been blamed for his failed marriage to Princess Diana. Yet, their love for one another superseded public perception, and they’ve been happily married for over a decade. Over the years royal… More »
The post Secrets You Never Knew About Camilla Parker Bowles, Duchess of Cornwall appeared first on buzznet.


Names have been changed in this story to protect the privacy of the interviewees.
While decorating the Christmas tree, Lara found a place for the special ornament she made for her family this year—a red plush picture frame decorated with little hearts and snowflakes. Displayed inside it was a photograph of a woman, a woman who is not her.
The woman has big eyes, a strong chin and, as Lara describes, a “million-dollar smile.” Lara knows her face well—there are images of her throughout the house she shares with her husband, Dave, and their four kids. Photographs placed in the rooms of the three oldest children. Snapshots tucked in binders on a bookcase in her bedroom. A giant portrait showcased in the den.
Though she never met her, Lara lives with the presence of this woman, Charlotte, who died by suicide in 2011. And she’s been trying to, as she explains, “make room” for her ever since she fell in love with Dave, the husband that Charlotte left behind.
As both the new wife and the new mother to the children the couple had together, Lara, 30, takes the family to Charlotte’s grave every month, makes sure there’s a cake on her birthday and includes her in holiday traditions, such as tree decorating. She does it for the kids, mostly, but also for herself.
“As much as it can hurt me, being allowed to participate in the grieving process to an extent by facilitating these opportunities allows me to not be ignored,” she says. “Otherwise, when grieving happens, I don’t exist.”
Lara shares her thoughts and frustrations in an online support group for women like her—the wives and girlfriends of widowers, or WOWs and GOWs as they call themselves. In this safe, private community, they’ve forged a unique sisterhood, aware that their chosen role can be a difficult one for the outside world to comprehend.
These are women who know what it’s like to experience profound love with a man who may also—maybe even always—love another woman. Women who are swimming in a massive gray area with very few resources to guide them. Women immersed in a world of grief that is not their own. Women who are constantly told to grin and bear it.
“It’s so conflicting, it makes my head spin,” says Rachel, a 42-year-old professional who has been dating a widower for three years.
As a human, you want to show compassion and sensitivity, she explains. But as a romantic partner, you don’t want to be making out on the couch while gazing at an urn filled with another woman’s ashes—an object that has been the source of many arguments in their relationship, and even a brief breakup.
“You get to a point where you say, ‘I don’t want to hear anymore,’” she shares. “I can’t listen anymore. I don’t want to know what her favorite color was. I don’t want to know what her favorite perfume was.’ I don’t want to live in the shadow of someone else.”
Members of the group spoke with Upvoted on basis of anonymity. In the community, made of women mostly in their 30s through 60s, they share stories with candor and ease. One woman was dating a man who kept his first wife’s clothing on a mannequin in the front entry of his home. Another woman married a widower who insisted on trying to relive his favorite memories with his late wife by taking her to the same restaurants they loved, dancing with her at the same nightspots and planning the same beach vacations. (She didn’t discover the eerie parallels until she was deep into the relationship.) Another new wife revealed that her widower husband sobbed through their entire wedding night, wrought with guilt that he was betraying the woman he spoke those same vows to first.
The WOWs and GOWs face many of the same complexities: unaccepting in-laws, social media drama, and a constant feeling that they’re being measured against the deified first wife (some call it the Rebecca Syndrome, after the Daphne du Maurier novel of that name). “It’s so easy for people to judge our situations without knowing our whole story,” Lara says. “You have people who are livid that you can be confused or hurt by how a person chooses to grieve. And then you’re the witch from the fairytales. You’re the evil stepmother. You’re the bad person.”
Men and women grieve differently. Psychiatrists from the San Diego Widowhood Project studied surveys from widows and widowers. They found that 25 months after the spouse’s death, 61 percent of men were either remarried or involved in a new romance, compared to only 19 percent of women.
Abel Keogh, author of Life with a Widower: Overcoming Unique Challenges and Creating a Fulfilling Relationship, along with other widowhood-focused guidebooks, explains that when a spouse dies, women are much more likely to allow themselves to fully dive into the depths of pain before putting the pieces of their lives back together—and even consider the idea of dating again.
Men, on the other hand, try to power through, or skip, this critical grieving process.
“They think their lives are broken and they have this need to go out and fix it,” Keogh says of the recent widowers he’s met or heard stories about. “In their minds, fixing it means starting to date again. You’ll see widowers who date months or even weeks after their wife dies. It’s like they go out there and say, ‘Oh, you’re pretty. Can you fix my life?’ They end up getting into relationships they aren’t ready for.”
Keogh shares this insight not just from talking to thousands of women over email and through the private Facebook group he runs, Dating a Widower, but also from personal experience. He was 26 when his first wife took her own life while she was seven months pregnant. “I started dating five months after she died,” Keogh says. “I felt awful for having this feeling that I needed to date, but it turns out this feeling is pretty normal.”
“You’ll see widowers who date months or even weeks after their wife dies. It’s like they go out there and say, ‘Oh, you’re pretty. Can you fix my life?’ They end up getting into relationships they aren’t ready for.”Author Abel Keogh
Lara met Dave online through a networking site. His profile listed him as widower and a father, but Lara was looking for friendship and nothing more—she’d been divorced for a couple of years and had recently been through a brutal breakup. When they first met, Dave had been widowed for less than a year, but he had a strikingly positive outlook, she says.
“He commented that what he had been through had shaped him,” Lara explains. “It gave him a greater appreciation for people, for relationships, for life in general.”
“We just clicked,” she adds. “It felt like we were long lost friends.”
After a few months, their friendship evolved into a romance. She met Dave’s three children, who were all under 7, and became close to them very quickly. She soon started feeling very protective of them. “There seemed to be this need by everyone around them to constantly check in and ask, ‘Are you still sad? Are you still mourning? Oh, that’s awful.’ And this would be on days when they were happy and doing great. It was almost like people were not okay with them moving forward in life and finding joy.”
Early on in the relationship, Lara felt like she was walking on eggshells. She didn’t want to say anything or do anything that would add more pain or strife to this family. But soon, she noticed herself getting annoyed at certain things.
“If I’m on a date and I bring up my ex, saying he loved this particular type of food or something—that’s not appropriate! That’s not okay. But these are things that are allowed with widowers,” Lara says. “Once, I was like, ‘Hey, can I talk about my ex now?’ I just said that to be ironic. And he said, ‘Sure.’ I felt like I was losing my mind.”
As she became more invested in the relationship, she teetered between feeling guilty for taking on a role that was intended for somebody else, and feeling completely invisible. “Mother’s Day, Christmas, Thanksgiving—every single month, there was some huge deal that would drag on for days and days and days that the late wife became the focus of,” she says. “It was hard not to be bitter.”
One day, she sat on her bed and broke down in tears. She felt she may have gotten herself in too deep with Dave, and the weight of it all was too much.
“I told him I wasn’t sure if I could do this,” she says. “I didn’t feel I was unselfish enough. I didn’t feel that I was emotionally strong or capable enough. I was worried that I would make unfair demands. I was scared of becoming the stereotype.”
At that moment, Dave just listened.
“He was just sitting there, stroking my hair, saying, ‘You are such a kind person and I’m so grateful for you because you’ve tried. You’ve tried so hard, and I hope you know that I love you and would do anything for you.’ That was comforting.”
They got married, and shortly after their honeymoon, Lara discovered she was pregnant. After she had the baby, she stepped into a web of other issues. Two years after Charlotte’s death, Lara was still living out of suitcases at Dave’s house. The closet and dresser drawers in the bedroom were filled with Charlotte’s clothes, and in-laws and family friends told her she was being “too demanding” for asking him to put them away.
“There was no space for me there,” she says. “Everyone found my concerns offensive. I thought I was being a bad person all the time. The loneliness was overwhelming.”
Depressed and in the throes of new motherhood, she started looking online for help and resources, but couldn’t find anything she really identified with. Many widowhood blogs suggest that any relationship post-bereavement will be one of “three hearts”—the third heart being the deceased spouse.
Lara believes that philosophy takes things too far.
“While it’s okay to miss and love the deceased, talking about him or her as a part of the current relationship is unfair,” she says. She compares it to a divorcee pining for an ex-lover while in a new relationship.
She finally found a few private Facebook groups and discovered that other girlfriends and wives of widowers had similar concerns. (Anecdotally, men in crisis don’t seek community as often as women, so support groups for boyfriends or husbands of widows are rare, if they exist at all.)
Many discussions centered on what do about objects that belonged to or were associated with the late wife. Rachel mentioned that one time, her boyfriend gave her a bottle of perfume, Clinique Happy. She later found a half-used bottle of the same fragrance under the sink. “It was like, ‘Oh, gosh. Is he trying to replicate her? Is he trying make me into her?’” she says. “It quickly went in the trash.”
Another topic that’s often discussed is how to deal with death in a digital age. Lara says social media has made grieving more twisted in recent years, especially when friends and family members of the widower look to him to keep his late wife’s memory alive. On days such as the late wife’s birthday or the anniversary of her death, when people tag him on Facebook in every post about how amazing she was, she says the online love fest “gets rubbed in our faces.”
Several months into their relationship, Rachel was annoyed that her boyfriend still maintained his late wife’s Facebook page. “He would publicly profess love for her on her page and then the next day, he’d post a picture of another woman—me,” she says. “That felt very strange.”
She eventually asked him to have her page “memorialized,” so nobody could administrate it. To her, that was a big step.
For all the complexities in her relationship, Rachel says she does see marriage in their future. Though first, she says, her boyfriend needs to “do the work” and move on from his past. She believes he’s trying.
“I want to know I’m number one in the present,” she says. “I need to know that his allegiance is to me rather than to honoring her memory.”
Author Abel Keogh says it’s up to the new wives and girlfriends to set their own boundaries on what is acceptable behavior—and every relationship will look different. The important thing is that there’s progress being made.
“It can be something like, ‘Hey, today he took down some photographs, and next week, maybe her voice is off the answering machine,’” he says.
It takes time. After being married to his current wife for 12 years, Keogh says his late wife will always have a special place in his heart, but “99.99 percent of my time and attention and focus” is on his present life and family.
In a Reddit discussion, widows and widowers shared what it was like to enter into a new relationship after a spouse dies. Redditor Slimpikin, who lost his wife to cancer, wrote that it can be hard for the new woman because the feelings attached to the first wife are usually all positive, in contrast to “the usual and customary practice of bitching about an ex.” But he’s in a great relationship now, writing that “a lot of the emotions are similar, things like devotion, trust, consideration, and attraction.”
“It’s a heartbreaking situation to be married to someone who continually strives to honor another woman and another life.”
Sometimes, for WOWs and GOWs, it will feel like a two-steps-forward, one-step-back process. After three years, Rachel’s boyfriend recently took the urn out of the house and laid it to rest at a cemetery. She felt a sense of gratitude and relief, but questions remain.
“Now it’s like, okay, is he going to be at the cemetery all the time? Where is his head really? How fully present is he really? Are there things that remind him of her? When he’s staring into space, is he wishing she were here? I’m not a jealous person, but there are things said and done that led my mind to go there,” Rachel explains.
And then there are some situations that end unresolved. Erin, who married a widower in 2009, is now a widow herself. Her husband passed away last month after suffering from kidney failure, heart issues, liver disease and, ultimately, a heart attack at their home.
“Talking to me one minute, and dead the next,” she says.
In the support group, Erin simply wrote the words, “He’s gone.”
He was buried next to his first wife, as was his wish. In his obituary, Erin was listed as the “second wife”—which was his wish as well. Reflecting back on her marriage, she says she always felt like she was living in adultery as the “other woman.”
“It’s a heartbreaking situation to be married to someone who continually strives to honor another woman and another life,” she says. “And worse when they die and you know you never had their heart. You never get married thinking, ‘Oh great, one day I get to go bury him next to another woman. Won’t that be nice?’”
For those in the group, there will always be more questions and gray areas, but they also talk about why they stay, what makes it worth it. “I love my husband and kids,” Lara says without hesitation. “I can’t imagine not being his wife. I can’t imagine not being their mom. I can’t picture my life without them. They are my joy, they are my everything and I would do anything for them.”
So members of the group keep supporting each other, celebrating each other’s everyday victories—perhaps it’s making peace with certain relatives or donating another bag of clothing to Goodwill.
For a while after she was married, Lara felt she couldn’t touch anything in the house as it was all too sacred. All of the curtains and throw pillows were handmade by Charlotte. When Lara would talk to Dave about changing things up, he kept brushing off the idea, saying he had to think about it.
But they ended up moving to a new house and Dave finally told Lara to decorate it however she wanted.
“He said, ‘This is your space now,’” she says. “That was very cathartic for me.”
Recently, Lara received photographs from their wedding three years ago. She says it’s taken her way too long to get the prints, but now that she has them, she can’t wait to frame them and hang them on the wall.
It will be another mark of her place in the family.


THURSDAY, 03. 20, 2016 — Cyber romantic relationship improper use is actually a concern really among sixth graders, a fresh investigation finds out.
A research related to 424 Texas university students inside high quality 6 found that 15 % recognized they would devoted no less than one type of cyber improper use for the romantic relationship friend.
The most frequent kinds of improper use have been employing a romantic relationship soulmate’s social networking company accounts with out agreement in addition to developing a romantic relationship friend frightened related to not necessarily responding to telephone calls as well as marketing communications, in line with the researchers.
Students most likely to be able to devote cyber romantic relationship improper use have been individuals who skilled the last history related to violence the ones which thought it absolutely was normal regarding children being disorderly in the direction of females.
“We nonetheless do not know when cyber romantic relationship improper use is usually a distinctive kind of romantic relationship assault as well as be it merely romantic relationship assault getting perpetrated by way of a fresh technique. The particular publications signifies that there are several overlap, in . mentioned investigation author Melissa Peskin.
Meskin is surely an link instructor inside the department related to well being advertising in addition to conduct sciences within the University related to Texas Well being Technologies Center, inside Houston.
“In this specific investigation, most of us perform realize that the majority of the components associated with cyber romantic relationship improper use may also be components associated with traditional kinds of romantic relationship assault, in . the lady extra in the university info release.
“We need surgical treatment that focus on lowering romantic relationship assault nevertheless that similarly include instruction how you can have healthful organizations inside the on the web environment, in . Peskin mentioned.
The investigation have been launched recently inside the Journal related to Children in addition to Adolescent many years.
The U. AZINES. Amenities regarding Sickness Handle in addition to Deterrence provides a lot more on romantic relationship assault.
Copyright A� 2016 HealthDay. Most rights put aside.
. This piece of info comes after it was found that certain besttrackingapps.com 21


Facebook: The Holy Grail of Relationship Marketing?
AbstractRelationship marketing has been a focus of online studies for a number of years. These studies have indicated that relationships in these environments are driven by commitment, trust, privacy concerns and stickiness. However, research on the use of Facebook as a relationship marketing building platform has received little attention. Therefore, this paper focuses on the constructs of relationship marketing and how they impact on relationships in the Facebook context. Questionnaires were distributed to a convenience sample of 300 students. The study confirmed that the factors influencing relationships on Facebook were similar to the factors influencing relationships in other online environments. The implications of the results of the study are discussed.
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One fateful night two years ago, I was sitting at my table, perusing Facebook on my iPad. The day had been difficult: I had mowed the lawn, weeded the front flowerbeds, and cleaned the guest bathroom. My arms were sore and my eyes were drooping, my body screaming at me that I had to go to bed.
‘No,’ I told myself, ‘No, I don’t want to go to bed yet.’
Continuing to browse, my thoughts drifted back through my past school years. In the summertime, of course, you had no school, but it was looming upon me like a Sabor-Toothed Tiger, ready to tear and maul away at me with no end in sight.
But my thoughts were brought back to the present when I spotted something: A little green dot on my iPad screen brought forth by Facebook’s sidebar. The simulated letters next to it were what caught my attention, spelling a name that I had not spoken in three years:
Jennifer Linda Howes.
I instantly fell into a fit of nostalgia as I traveled back in time, all the way back to fifth grade. My thoughts fell on a girl that I knew, specifically on a time when we were sitting together, drawing Zelda comics in a notebook. We shared a common love for the series and often dreamed up ways we could go on vacation together in our futures.
I instantly tapped her name, my heart beating quicker than it ever had, as I quickly tapped out a message to her. Ignoring the few spelling errors autocorrect could not overcome, I tapped the send button quicker than I ever had before. Then, I slumped back in wait.
Jennifer (or as I came to call her, Jenny) was a mid-sized, blonde girl who I had become very good friends with over the years. We shared tons of common interests to the point where we could almost finish each others’ sentences. Without a doubt, she was my elementary school crush.
But suddenly, in sixth grade, she disappeared. Her mother had transferred her to a different school for reasons I could not figure out. I even asked her once (she worked at my school) and she told me that she thought it was better for her.
So we hadn’t spoken in three years. Two innocent children, loving each other yet not knowing it, separated for reasons unknown.
I waited in anticipation as the girl of my dreams read my message, then began to send one back. My eyes dialated and my hands shook, then it happened:
“Caleb!” it read, “I haven’t talked to you in ages! How have you been?”
And from there it went, catching up and exchanging phone numbers less than five minutes later. And less than a day later, I had confessed my love to her and her to me. Two seventh graders, fallen hopelessly in love with each other, never to be separated again.
To this day, she has never given me any reason to doubt that she is my perfect companion. And although we’re not perfect, two high schoolers in a relationship as long-lasting as this one has been are not to be trifled with. She is my girlfriend to this day, and I hope she will continue to be throughout the years to come, and maybe even for eternity, if all goes well.


Celebrating Family Diversity
(Original, Unedited Article - Enjoy!!)
There is nothing more precious than a child. There is nothing more important than having that child living in a world that is open, accepting, affirming, loving and caring. Family is the backbone of society. The importance of a loving home and a supportive family is priceless. To have such a family is the gift that will help a child follow a successful road to a wonderful life.
To see loving couples struggling through the frustration of trying to become a family and failing is heartbreaking. It is also something that is common among same sex couples. To be a parent is one of the most amazing gifts someone can receive and something every person has the right to experience if they choose to do so. Having a family is an experience equaled by no other that brings with it happiness, responsibility, worry, and love. Why then is it so difficult for those couples who are loving, committed to each other in a monogamous relationship, dedicated to each other and their desire for children, caring people who would show the same care to any child they were gifted with, and capable adults who would prove themselves to be great parents to be disappointed time and time again? The only thing that seems to be the reason for their frustration is the fact that they are same sex couples. There is still so much for same sex couples to overcome. It makes no sense, but the obstacles are there nonetheless.
In my life I have been lucky enough to have become friends with many same sex couples. Some of these couples have no interest in becoming parents, but a lot of them crave a child to love. They want to share their lives and love with a child they will nurture and love with dedication and purpose. Their desires couldn’t be deeper or purer. But wanting something and achieving that goal are often not the ending result.
The avenues available to these couples are adoption, foster parenting, surrogacy, and, unfortunately, giving up. Each avenue is filled with a multitude of barriers to get through and hoops to jump through. Although it is true that the same is the case for traditional couples, it seems that the same sex couples have just that extra bit of tap dancing to do to achieve their dream of holding a precious baby in their arms. This is an entirely different issue that is the source of frustration for so many. Why is it okay to prevent a child from being welcomed into a loving home? There is only one possible answer. It isn’t.
My friends Sean and Justin are two gay men who have been in a committed, monogamous relationship for more than twenty years. They have been married for ten of those twenty years and have made a life together that is admirable. They work together, they are best friends, they make each other laugh, and they support each other’s dreams. They are a wonderful married couple who have a great life that each one of us would be lucky to experience with our own spouse. Like any other married couple, they have had their share of worries and setbacks, but through it all, their deep love for each other helped them persevere. They are not perfect. They have their moments of frustration and anger. They sometimes get so tired that they snap at each other. They are human, after all. But these are rare occasions and their friendship, their commitment to each other, and their deep bond as a family is what pulls them through.
These men have gone through this process of try and fail in their attempt at having a family for the past eight years. Five years ago, they were lucky enough to have a woman donate her eggs to them. Several eggs were harvested, the eggs were fertilized with each man’s sperm, and the fertilized eggs were placed in stasis. Then came the search for the woman who was willing to act as their surrogate and carry their chance at finally becoming a family with children to love and cherish.
Miraculously, a very kind woman came forward and after a multitude of physical and mental screenings, they were on their way to achieving their dream. The first IVF was performed and failed. A second attempt resulted the same way. It was heartbreaking for the men and for all of us who were hoping that their baby would finally find its way into their arms. The third attempt was the charm. Two of the fertilized eggs were implanted and the most wonderful miracle occurred. Both eggs became viable! The most amazing thing of all was that one of the eggs was the biological child of Justin, and the other egg was the biological child of Sean. The babies were successfully carried and delivered with Sean and Justin in the delivery room to experience the birth of their babies. They welcome them with open arms and hearts. There was not a dry eye in the delivery room when those beautiful girls entered the world. Their twin girls were absolutely beautiful and were welcomed into their family by their totally enamored and devoted fathers. Talk about a perfect ending for them.
These two men brought home those infant girls and raised them with love and dedication. They went through the sleepless nights, the worry of early childhood sickness, and feelings of inadequacy and insecurity that they were doing the right thing as they raised their girls just as we all have when we became new parents. But they had the experiences times two. For those of us who have had twins or triplets, we know how much more difficult it is to take care of more than one child—but these men were a team. They worked together, helped each other, and shared the responsibility and the love that these precious girls brought them.
It is so important that we celebrate family diversity. These men fought to have their daughters. They weathered heartbreak, disappointment and finally joy from the success in the creation of their family. What is most important is that these children are wanted, cherished, and loved. What difference does it make that the twins have two fathers? What is important is that the twins have parents who love them completely, celebrate their daughters lives, and dedicate themselves to raising them with love. Isn’t that the real importance of being a family, after all?
Copyright © 2013 ~ Lyssa Samuels
All Rights Reserved.


Do You Know the Father and the Son: Part 4
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Wednesday, January 13, 2010
I had the pleasure to have an engagement session with Micah and Kelly. What a day! Freezing temps, around 18 degrees. I love engagement sessions. I love them for the sheer fact of seeing the excitement and hopefulness of two people that have decided to share their futures. Kelly was a trooper, not only did she manage to look comfortable and warm, she had this amazing and fun attitude. Micah kept Kelly warm in between shots. I could clearly see the partnership and love between them. I am so excited for this wedding. June, get here already!


♡ Find all good posts here! ♡
(Source: alexandru-gabi, via morphine-and-cigarettes)
There were things I wanted to tell him. But I knew they would hurt him. So I buried them, and let them hurt me. — Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (via larmoyante)
Please tell me
I’m not as forgettable
as your silence
is making me feel. — M.S. (via c-oquetry)
You happened to me.
You were as deep down as I’ve ever been.
You were inside me like my pulse. — Marilyn Hacker, from Nearly A Valediction (via perfect)
(Source: violentwavesofemotion, via perfect-nightmears)
If someone cheats on you they do not love you, remember that. If someone cheats on you they do not care about you as much as they say they do. If someone cheats on you it means that for a split second you were off their mind long enough for them to put another person in arms that should only be for you. If someone cheats on you, dear god, I hope you don’t go back to them because you are worth so much more than that.
Good Vibes HERE
Dessie Skirt & Top Set (available at Outfit Made)
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I talked to Beth, briefly, for the first time in a couple of weeks. I told her how I had broken down in front of my boss before my week off, and he had asked me to establish a safety contract. She said Oh! A ha ha ha ha!
What the fuck is funny about that? I feel like she doesn’t take depression seriously, she doesn’t take me seriously, and much as I get lonely or appreciate having long-standing relationships, it’s just not worth talking to her anymore.