Understanding the difference between wants and needs can be a challenging line to walk from our codependent habits. We don’t believe that we can meet our needs so we expect everyone else to do it for us, and if they don’t meet our needs, they’ve failed us. We’ll discuss wants and needs in relationships—romantic, friendship, work, familial or otherwise.
This matters because when you believe that other people should always be meeting your needs and that you should be meeting theirs, you’re setting yourself up for a whole lot of unnecessary suffering when they aren’t available or interested in doing exactly what you want them to do, when and how you want them to and vice versa.
So disempowering for everyone involved, and what a sure-fire way to end up all sad, lonely, dejected and resentful, right? And expecting other people to fill our every need does not create closeness or intimacy or true connection. And that’s largely because you believe you’re speaking a true need, but it’s really a need-story, aka a want, all dressed up in needs clothing because that feels more worthy than just saying it’s a want.
So in that moment of expecting someone to, for example, meet your need-story for validation by commenting on your haircut or tattoo, or meet your need-story for connection by being available to hear about your long day after they had a long day, you’re not seeing them in their wholeness while demanding they see you in yours. You’re creating the requirement for lovability that they not show up in their authenticity in order to meet what you’re calling a need, so you can feel safe in loving them and being loved.
That is classically codependent—it’s also not kind and doesn’t work.
Because truly loving someone means accepting them for who they are, and making the mutually loving choice not to be with them if you can’t accept them and wish they were different.
So let’s pause and look at how we ended up in this particular quagmire:
Meme after meme tells us that we should state our needs in relationship and should get them filled by our partners and if they aren’t meeting all of our needs then they suck, which I am just not into, as you can tell.
From our family blueprints.
We often have unrealistic expectations especially if we were parentified children. Meaning we were asked, for a variety of reasons, to step into a parental role as children, to be a defacto therapist to a parent, to care for younger siblings while not getting the care you needed. Or if you were never given true independence and were micromanaged or infantilized into adulthood by your family of origin, whatever the reason, you may not have a firm understanding of where you and your responsibilities stop and other people’s start.
This is a classically codependent thought error that tells us that we can’t meet our own needs, we have to meet everyone else’s needs and they have to meet ours.
And when we live in that for long enough, we learn to distrust ourselves to meet our needs because we haven’t shown ourselves we can, largely because we are so busy taking care of everyone else’s needs.
The unwritten agreement is that I am meeting all your needs and I expect you to do the same, even though I never asked you for what I needed and I may be meeting needs you never asked me to fulfill.
We put ourselves out so hard and we expect everyone else to do the same, and we resent the shit out of the people we love when they don’t.
So we get into this push-pull with people who can’t meet us the way we want them to, folks who can’t or won’t love us or show up for us the way we want them to because we are telling this story that we just need them to do XYZ and if they only did XYZ then we would feel good and safe in the relationship.
So we hang on, believing that that day will come where they will meet our needs, the way we wish our parents had, and we become just more and more stuck, like trying to push our way through quicksand.
The thing to always remember, cause we’re always going to find our way back to compassion fast as we can, is that when we don’t remember how to validate ourselves, we can feel desperate to get external validation.
When our nervous systems are chronically dysregulated, a want, a desire, can feel like a need. When we are in so much dorsal vagal activity, the detached and checked out part of our nervous system, it can feel life or deathy that someone texts us back or validates us—to make us feel safe and wanted.
If we tend towards more sympathetic activation it can feel unsafe to let our guard down to actually ask for what we want or to allow ourselves to actually feel really safe, so we expect that ole mind reading from our loved ones, and if we’re subconsciously blocking ourselves feeling okay in a relationship, we can then get all revved up in the story that our needs aren’t being met.
Many of us had to go it alone emotionally as children, and our inner children are desperate to not do it any more as adults, to feel sure in our relationships, and that can get conflated with getting our needs met.
So validation, for example, can sure feel like a major need someone else must fill for us.
My nerds, I love the work of Helen and Harville Hendrix, two social scientists who work on and study relationships, and their theory is called Imago. In short it says that we tend to project what we didn’t get from our parents, caregivers or other attachment figures onto our partners, in an attempt to heal the attachment wounds there, to try to get a different outcome to the story of our lovability.
And so we can unwittingly expect our partners to read our minds and know our preferences and desires without our having to speak them. Expecting them to make us “Ok” or lovable by endless affirmation and reassurance. If we have anxious attachments, we can want someone to show up and stop us from having feelings and to distract us from our internal story that we are lonely or unlovable and that it will always be this way. From avoidant attachment we can go in another direction. We are fiercely independent and we don’t believe it’s ok to ask for support or safe to ask for help.
Add to that the story that you don’t know what you want or need because you have been so externally focused, and of course it gets all complicated.
So of course we feel insecure asking for support, when the story is I don’t even know what to ask for. I hear all the time, ‘my partner is always asking me what do you need, and I’m like I don’t fucking know.’
We expect our partners to always be who we say we need them to be. That can mean if we want them to want something, we want them to want it. A member of the Anchored community was saying that she wants her new boyfriend to be more ambitious. He doesn’t want that for himself—he’s happy with this life and his job and she believes she needs him to want that.
We also expect them to never upset us or trigger us, when safe and loving relationships are the most powerful place to feel triggered, offering us places to heal and grow.
So how does this serve us? Well! It keeps us cozy in our emotional childhood.
It keeps us believing it’s someone else’s job to meet our emotional needs. We can stay in the false comfort of believing that Lassie is coming to save or rescue us. Because then we don’t have to take personal responsibility and we can just project all over someone else.
If it is someone else’s job then we don’t have to learn to identify or meet our needs ourselves.
But the truth is that we can know and meet our own emotional needs, we just lack practice, not capacity.
If we think it’s someone else’s job to make us happy when we are sad, then we don’t learn how to sit in that discomfort or to make ourselves happy without buffering against those feelings. Our old script says “It is their job as my partner, parent, ride or die BFF or boss to see that I am having a challenging feeling or moment and they should step up and fix it,” which is us giving away our agency and control of our emotional wellness to others.
Co-regulation of our nervous systems, grounding and calming ourselves together, is great and vital and important but what happens when the person you’ve outsourced your feelings to is unavailable, or exhausted, or just doesn’t feel like it? We set ourselves up for disappointment.
We make other people the boss of our emotions.
We lose trust and faith in ourselves and our capacity to handle our own emotions by and for ourselves. And when we get a handle on our emotions, we also know we can handle our needs.
When we know that we can meet our own needs, it is easier to ask for what we want.
Because you get out of desperation and you get anchored in yourself and your own capacity to differentiate between wants and needs, to trust that you can meet your core needs and that you can be flexible around the how. So it doesn’t become that my sense of safety is dependent on you doing X. I can honor you for who and how you are and it becomes about receiving. I can receive love the way you can offer it, and I can remember that the people in my life are in it for me to love. Not to make me or you feel any kinda way, cause they just can’t do that for you, and it’s not loving or kind to expect them to.
So let’s talk remedies
Start by writing out all of your expectations of your partner, your parents, whomever that you’re calling needs.
For example, you may say you need your partner to tell you that they love you several times a day. But what may be underneath that is a deep insecurity or belief that you are not lovable.
We are often telling ourselves that the thing we need we need from an external source, when in fact we can get from ourselves through thought work and somatics.
And then ask yourself what of this can I meet for myself and how, and who else can I turn to for support? List as many options as you can think of.
One of the goals is to get really creative with the how of meeting your wants that you’re calling needs because the more options you have the less you feel desperate. We do not make good decisions from sympathetic activation my nerds! The broader our base of support, the better. We are still in the time of corona so these can be online groups, friend phone dates, etc…
It’s not fair to you or your partner or your best friend to expect them to meet all of your wants and needs.
Often when we are telling the story my partner never meets my needs, we are coming from all or nothing thinking, so run that check. We do have a penchant for drama from our codependent thinking. So just ask yourself if you’re in drama or all or nothing, and reality check with your people if you’re not sure if your ask is reasonable or loving or ok.
Check in to see if you are projecting your desire to control your story about how something should be onto someone else’s behavior.
Our brain’s negativity bias will lead us to focus on the negative—what we believe we need but we are not getting, and from our codependent lens we are so scared to be wrong and bad, we will focus on someone else being wrong. We won’t look at how we are showing up. We fall into black and white thinking—it’s either all them or all us. They are either not meeting my needs or I am the worst. What’s the middle path here? Am I looking at both sides of this? Am I looking at the wholeness or am I looking from my woundedness and looking at the part that is historically easier to look at.
What often happens in codependent relationships is we make one person our everything.
We assign our joy and wellness to them. We make them the full stewards of our emotional safety. It sucks for us and for them. It’s not kind. And it sets us up for a lot of discomfort.
Instead you can learn to anchor yourself in your own deep belief in your lovability and worth and safety, knowing that when you hit a rough patch, you have your own back—you can meet your needs. And that you can from that grounded place reach out to others for support, not just your partner.
Maybe instead of leaning exclusively on your partner, you call a friend. You don’t give one person full stewardship of your heart. So often in childhood we learned that the family was this insular unit and because we were keeping secrets, or parents weren’t emotionally secure.
That kind of history can make it easy both to believe that making one person your everything is a good idea, and that you can’t meet your needs yourself, which I truly believe you can, my perfect buttercup pony!
In an interdependent relationship, all partners recognize the autonomy of their partners.
They see them as fully fledged adults who are just as capable of taking care of themselves and managing their own minds, meeting their wants and needs on their own. And from that place of seeing each other’s wholeness and honoring it, they are able to meet with mutuality and reciprocity. From our codependent people pleasing habits, we don’t go into relationships expecting to be met with love and care, and instead, we say “they aren’t meeting my needs” when we mean “we have different values in a relationship and maybe we aren’t the right fit.”
Calling it needs keeps you on that seesaw making demands, complaining they weren’t met, up and down and up and down.
And if a partner is not interested in reciprocity, if you are not being heard, honored, if your requests are chronically unmet or devalued then that, to me, is a problem, and you get to get clear about whether you’re talking about your values or your needs. Because when we frame it as needs, as though it required extra gravitas to matter, then we can feel more and more attached to attempting to get someone else to validate and meet those needs. We stay with that person believing that if we keep pushing the issue then they will change. Versus seeing when it’s an issue of core values not being aligned and maybe they’re just not the person for you.
You get to stop struggling in your stories about unmet needs, and you get to move on to meet your own needs in alignment with your own values and from there, to connect with partners whose values overlap with yours in delightful ways.
Secondly, whether or not your partner shares your exact values, they ought to at a minimum care about and respect what you value. And at least meet you halfway… at a minimum.
In closing, my perfect magnificent darling angel feather—when you are not meeting your own needs you will always find an unmet want or need to assign to someone else. Instead, you can anchor yourself in you and meet your own needs.
Go on out there, state your wants and own your needs, my beauties!
Thank you for taking the time to read Feminist Wellness. I’m excited to be here and to help you take back your health!
I know not everyone is into podcasts, so I wanted to provide digestible blogs to go along with the episodes! If you’re curious about the podcast and haven’t checked them out yet, click here.


How to maintain relationships if you’re truck driver
Truck driver life can be really lonely. You spend days, or even weeks, on the road without your family and friends. And, of course, this affects the relationship with your soul mate. Long-distance relationships, rare communication, quarrels, understatement can destroy even the strongest relationships. So there are several tips on how to save the most important thing in your life.
Spend time together
It sounds very obvious, but in practice, it is often different. You are returning home and you just want to rest. Or you spend time with family and friends. But it’s important to make time for just the two of you. Go on a date or have a romantic evening at home. Make your moments together special.
Trust your partner
Relationships won’t work without trust. If you harass yourself and your partner with jealousy, the feelings of mistrust will grow every day. Do not be afraid to seek help from a family psychologist. Be open and honest with your soul mate and discuss your feelings.
Communicate every day
It is extremely important to be in touch every single day. Write messages to each other, communicate via Skype, or other video call apps. You can schedule your daily chats to choose the most convenient time for you both. Tell about your feelings, ask your partner about their day, and plan what you will do when you finally meet.
Take your spouse for a ride
How about a joint trip? If you don’t have children and your partner has time, you can take her/him with you. This will help your soulmate to better understand your life and the problems you face every day. The main thing is not to forget that your partner while staying at home without you, faces many difficulties. Show understanding and support.
Learn to manage daily stress
Every day you both have to deal with different stress situations. You, as a trucker, worried about traffic or difficult clients. Your partner has to manage all house routine chores. Because of this, spending time together often turns into an outpouring of complaints. This may become a reason for quarrels. Of course, you need to keep your spouse informed about your life, but try not to overwhelm them with the stress that you can handle by yourself.


At the time, this man wasn't my husband. Naturally, from the beginning we both knew the commitment it took to date someone with children. I never had, neither had he. We were both quite comfortable with our lives solo. We had both created a life we loved by ourselves. We both attribute this as to why "we" happened.
I married this man 2 1/2 weeks ago.
In the wise words of Cinderella, "If you keep on believing, the dreams that you have will come true." In so many ways, in so many truths. I was happy, I was solid.....and then, I found my fairy tale.
I promise to update more later.... as soon as I can catch my breath. I can't leave "our" story untold ;)
For now I leave you with the this..
The last 18 days have been the happiest of my life. I didn't expect us marrying to change our relationship, but it has...in the best of ways. You are more of a "husband" than I could have ever imagined. The way you care for me and for our kids is second to none. The love I feel from you is unimaginable. I truly feel as though I'm living a fairy tale. I love you more and more every day. I love our family, and I love the example we are setting for our children. You have made me happier beyond my wildest dreams. I love you, and I can't wait for forever.
Your Wife :)
You are the love of my life.


Research has highlighted that adolescents and adults with high-functioning ASD have just as much capacity for sexual behaviour as those with no diagnosis of ASD. Despite this, individuals with ASD still can experience prejudicial stereotypes that they are asexual, hyper-or hypo sexual, child-like and dependent, and/or uninterested in sex. Moreover, some hold the view that their sexuality is problematic and needs to be managed. There are some features of ASD which have perpetuated stereotypes regarding the sexuality in individuals with ASD. Some of these features include an aversion to being touched by others and the view that because they are ‘unemotional’ they would not have any interest in sexual relationships. Due to their social impairments and sexual ‘anomalies’, young people with ASD who are entering into adulthood may face significant difficulties and challenges in being able to develop and maintain social and romantic relationships.
Research has highlighted that there is currently a lack of support and services (in schools, etc) to help autistic adolescents and adults with ASD develop the necessary skills which will help them understand the social nuances of dating, intimacy and relationships. Additionally, individuals with ASD have been found to be much less likely to be able to obtain sexual health information from their friends or peer groups, media, school and parents. Specifically, many adolescents with ASD do not have connections with extensive peer groups where usually informal discussions about sex take place. As well as individuals with ASD being found to be less likely to receive sex and sexuality education, if they do receive education in sex and social relationships, it may not always be tailored to their specific needs. Research suggests that individuals with ASD are less likely to gain knowledge about sex from their parents or teachers and also indicates that individuals with ASD may often access the media and pornography in order to gain information about sex and relationships. This route to acquiring information that they cannot obtain elsewhere may, in some instances, lead to unintentional online offending.
An increasing number of studies are finding that individuals with ASD had less adaptive sexual knowledge and behaviours, reported less social behaviour (e.g., meeting up with friends), less education about sex and sexuality and less sexual experience compared to typically developing individuals. Studies have also found that while parents of adolescents with ASD believe that their children have an interest in sexual and romantic relationships, they do not know how to instigate conversations with their child with ASD regarding such topics. Another study found that few parents of children with ASD could quickly imagine the likelihood of their child ever having a romantic relationship. This is problematic. Parents may be reluctant to engage sexuality-related discussion if they have the expectation that their child will never have a sexual relationship and/or if the parents have the expectation that their child will not need or benefit from sexuality and relationship education.
It has recently been emphasised that caregivers, educators, and healthcare providers need to be empowered to have clear and direct conversations with both adolescents and young adults with ASD regarding relationships and sexual health. Sex education (tailored for individuals with ASD) should include the following components/topics:
- direct instruction on relationship and sexual health
- prevention of abuse and misconduct
- self-advocacy to support partner’s understanding of sensory, communication, or other personal needs
- social standards for sexual behaviour
- social conventions relating to flirting and dating
- social skills development (e.g., empathy, perspective-taking)
- how to decide when is the right time to engage in sexual intimacy with a partner
In sum, wherever possible, visual supports or skills-based teaching techniques should be used. Such education would also reduce the likelihood of some individuals with ASD later engaging in sexual offending behaviour. For instance, it is suggested that, due to the little or no experience of being in an intimate relationship, some individuals with ASD may find it challenging to express their sexuality within the ‘context of an appropriate relationship’. This may result in offending behaviour as a result of the individual’s sexual frustration.
About our blogger
Dr Clare Allely is a Reader in Forensic Psychology at the University of Salford in Manchester, England and is an affiliate member of the Gillberg Neuropsychiatry Centre at Gothenburg University, Sweden. Read more.


When looking for a partner, it’s tempting to consider someone with a nice-looking rack or a sweet set of nuts, but take it from me, you’re better off with a belay partner whose gear—and ego—is well-worn. There are too many people out there who claim to climb, but instead spend their time flaunting their equipment on social media, seeking partners who will shower them with thumbs-up approval. Despite the increasing number of d-bags around the crag these days, there are still some bona fide dirtbags: people who don’t need the newest Prana climbing pants, or the most aggressive shoes, or lavender-scented chalk. If you too want to rope up and cut the crap, but can’t figure out why your climbing days still consist of the auto-belay at Spire, here are some tips.
For starters, talk to people. Many Bozemanites have climbed before, so you’re not putting yourself out too much if you ask, “Do you climb?” If it’s a co-worker, a cutie in line at the Co-op, or a babe in Burke Park, be friendly and strike up a conversation about how great the conditions in Hyalite have been looking. If you both are up to climb, exchange numbers, and call if you say you’re going to. Agree on a time, and if you’re the one who initiated the date, let your partner know what to bring and what to expect.
When you call, have a plan. If you ask someone out for the first time, remember that “Want to go climb in Hyalite at 1am?” is similar to “Want to watch Netflix and chill?” It shows that you probably don’t have a plan, and that you and your partner might get into some very risky business.
Now, if you’ve never been to Practice Rock, tell the truth. Your partner will figure out soon enough if you were bullshitting about your Cardiac Arete lead. It’s okay for him to see that you don’t know everything—and just because you know some things, doesn’t mean you’re going to do all the work. Climbing is a team effort, and it will help your relationship if both you and your partner know that from the start.
After you do make a plan, show up. Be prepared and don’t expect your partner to bring water, snacks, or gear for you—unless he already told you he would. And it’s a safe practice to have extra water handy anyway, for when you and your partner get hot and bothered by the crux on Theoretically.
In addition, try to avoid talking about all the long and hard classics you’ve done. Even though you may want to tell your partner how experienced you are, there are other ways—communicate well, help him feel safe, and climb smart. It’s easy to blab about climbs you’ve done; it’s more difficult, and more fun, to climb.
When gearing up, if a more experienced partner says you didn’t follow through your knot, or that your harness isn’t double-backed, listen. His advice could save a life. A good belayer will help his partner become a better climber.
If a less experienced partner is ready to get onto the sharp end of the rope, encourage him, answer his questions, be an unselfish and attentive belayer—and don’t beta-spew. Even if your way is the “right way,” as long as your climber isn’t in any real danger, give him some real words of encouragement.
If you’re not cheering him on, embrace the silence. If you don’t know your partner well yet, get to know him, but not when you’re halfway up the route. From 50 feet up, “What did you say?” sounds a whole lot like “Off belay.” Be respectful of other climbers, be mindful of the timing and volume of your conversations, and welcome the quiet moments between you and your partner.
When we climb for ourselves and encourage others to do the same, seeking to become a better belayer rather than finding the perfect belayer, we will discover that they are all around us. And it just takes a few awkward moves, sweaty palms, and courage to get to the top of the world with one.


Family Support Service
Simply having someone to talk to about your problem, can be the easiest way to begin resolving your problem. WGRC family support service was developed to support and respond to the needs of the family members who have been affected by gambling and / or substance misuse. Their concerns range from relationship difficulties to debt, intimidation, bereavement, loss and financial issues, etc.
WGRC offers a range of interventions that address the impact of substance misuse and gambling addiction on the family, but that also work to strengthen the family’s role in supporting change. Work with families includes services for family members, and concerned others.
One to One Support
WGRC offers support and counselling from experienced and professional staff, who understand the issues facing families and individuals concerning addiction. You are provided with a space where you can come and talk with the assurance of respect and confidence being extended to you.
There is great power in people coming together in a community to support and understand each other. We at WGRC have witnessed this many times as family members –brothers, sisters, spouses, partners, mothers, and fathers – have come together with the common purpose of talking about the impact of addiction within the family, and finding new ways to live and cope, through the support of others living in similar situations.
Family members engaged in family support groups using the 5 step method. The 5 step method is a brief psychosocial intervention to support family members who have a close relative with an alcohol, drug, or gambling problem. The family members participating in these groups reported a reduction in the strain they had been experiencing. Other benefits of the groups were improvements in coping mechanisms, increased self-esteem and strength, reduced stress levels, and reduced negative patterns of behavior.
The family support groups are linked to the National Family Support Network which provides opportunities for networking with similar groups. The shared learning, exchange of information, and respite this provides are of great benefit to the family support groups.
If you would like to talk to someone about joining a family support group you can ring us on 01 4198630 or email and you will be put in contact with a family support worker.


Soul Flower (2003)
Acrylic on canvas board, 19”x25”
When I started painting in earnest (as opposed to just fluffing around with ideas!), I was living in a small cabin at the back of my grandparents’ house. After a few serious long-term relationships that eventually came to an end and other misfired attempts at love, I’d decided to give romance a rest for a few years. I took the time to think about what it meant to love and be loved by someone who felt like they were a part of me, and I a part of them. I painted this flower of two faces in profile growing from the same stem, on an inexpensive canvas board (being a bit economically challenged), and hung it on my wall unframed, as a kind of mandala for the sort of relationship I wanted. I met Frank in 2003, and we got together in 2004.


You’ve been bitter lately. Joe wrote to complain. He is no longer feeling safe. He’s been asking himself all sort of questions. “Did I hurt her?” “What have I done wrong?” “Am I not taking care of her enough?” He has grown very suspicious of himself and his actions…all his actions and inactions, he has piled up for self-auditing. At least you look inward when you don’t see the answer outward. He’s scrutinizing himself without committing any offence.
You know what? He’s not at fault. You have been taking him for the guy who left! You felt someone must pay for what the other guy did. And so, you feel it has to be him. It’s a case of tit for tat. Someone hurt you and you must pass the hurt on, in return to attain balance. You’ve forgotten that two wrongs do not make a right. The more this guy try the more you make it difficult for him to try. He’s not going to be running after you like this forever. I do hope you know that? He will get tired some days. And he will leave you. You might not even imagine he could do such. You’ll just come back home to see he has gone. You are not giving him what is right of you. You’ve decided to give what is left. Good guys can go bad when you maltreat them. when a guy like that will leave you, he will still be around you. he may even take you out a day earlier and you’ll have a nice time. In real sense, he has gone.
I’m not here to judge you. I’ve come to call you to reasoning. The guy that left did wrong. You had fell headlong in love with him. Sacrifice upon sacrifice, you’ve made for him. The investment you lost in that relationship was huge. You’ve even gone the extra mile of visiting the other room with him. I wouldn’t blame him too much for that. It’s not without your consent. But the way you are treating this new guy is awful. It’s like he’s the lamb of God who came to cartaway the misdeeds of the other guy. He’s trying you know! He wouldn’t want you hurt. He’ll do everything to protect you. But you keep running out of his covering. You’ve not healed completely from the previous relationship before rushing into this. Each time you’re about to be healed, you peel the scab to start hurting afresh. Being bitter will not make you better. Many at times, God allow good thing to fall apart for you for better thing to fall in place. The guy that left was a cheat. But you know this new guy isn’t. it should give you an ounce of rest of mind. The guy in the present is a present. Don’t miss out on this amazing guy. The ex was constantly telling you lies. But this new guy has been fair enough in opening up his heart to you. He’s laid everything bare for you to see with the hope that you will trust him and then feel secured. But the truth is scaring you. something keeps telling you, you need to tighten up your security a bit more. When he comes close to breaking the wall of partition between you both. All you do to assist him is to hire more presumptuous evidences to build more wall.
You’ve got to pity this guy. A good man is quite hard to find. The way you’ve turned yourself into lil Jezebel that this guy must worship before he can access you will not always be like that.
Love is trust. It’s a leap of faith. Love might lack on some ground of evidences at the beginning but when you see one two or three instances saying same thing, you need to pay close attention. There might be truth in it.
In our emotional economy, our default state of mind is usually free, safe and positive. It’s a free trade zone at the beginning. Everyone is not suspecting the other. In the midst of the transactions. When you encounter a negative occurrence that drains you a bit. There’s a tilt towards the negative. A positive occurrence tilt your heart inclination towards the positive. The net value of the tiltings for a phase of life determine the balance brought forward in the next phase. Your ex has drag you to the negative. You need to recalibrate to be back in the positive zone. Stop seeing all men as cheat. You’ve not even met a quarter of them. When you enter a relationship on a negative account without sorting yourself, you might end up giving this new guy an impression that all ladies are bitter. Only few of us knows that, that is fallacy of hasty generalization.
Where you are going is farther than where you are coming from. You’re giving your ex too much power by being bitter. You are in charge of your happiness. Take charge of it. You will need to move on. Stop comparing his ghost with this real man here. What you think of your ex is just a figment of your imagination. He is long gone. Gather what is left and start afresh with this guy who is ready to accept you with your baggage. Everyone has too. Your best life is not in the past. Your better life is in front. You’ve suffered this new guy enough. And if you’re not ready to get healed. Tell him to leave and allow you to nurse your wounds. If he chose to stay and walk with you through the healing process, it’s his choice. Life is about always moving on. Stop competing with the ghost that is not there. Leave this scab. You’re due for healing.
Amore cum ab,
© email@example.com | 2016
Like | Comment | Tag | Share


Mini Exquisite Gift Set
A lovely Gift For Romantic Moments of Soulmates
Revitalize & boost your love and loyalty for each other and spend some romantic moments together with the intoxicating and irresistible fragrance alluring two lovers to lose in the deep in love and passion for each other. Our heavenly like scented candles have been packed in lavish boxes make a strong appeal to the sense and invite the two lovers to feel passionate for each other. The appealing sweet aroma seduces the senses and comforts the deeply depressed and tired minds & souls that bring two closer to each other. These candles come in luxurious gift boxes are the best gift for your lady love, honeymoon, and wedding anniversary or to share some intimate moments.
Pick your favorite fragrance(s):
1. Lavender Cashmere
2. Lychee Rose
3. Peony & Rose
4. Pomegranate Strawberries
Each Candle Size: 60g
Packaging: Black cylindrical candle jar with gold lid and with the lettering "Lavender & Rose" on one side. Elegantly boxed in a gift / presentation black box.
Be sure to read our candle care safety before use.


The purpose of a Christian wedding is for a man and a woman to speak their vows of faithfulness to each other before the Lord; to hear once more God’s blessings and guidance concerning marriage; and finally, to give opportunity for friends and relatives to celebrate with you on this special day.
The Christian wedding ceremony is always set in the context of worship. This is the controlling factor in all wedding arrangements whether it be music, photography, rehearsals, ushering, etc. A Christian wedding is a time to give praise and thanks to God and to pray for His blessings on the bride and groom. We want you to have a beautiful wedding and, above all, a rich and fulfilling marriage blessed by God.
To schedule a wedding here, you must be either a member of Good Shepherd, or related to a member of Good Shepherd. You will then need to meet with Pastor, complete an Application for Wedding, and leave a deposit to reserve your spot on the church calendar. You can contact pastor through the church office at 402-332-3345 or from our Contact Us page.


Write only if you are serious! Jess. Age 26.
My new photos and sexy videos here >>>Click!<<<
. Craiglist's personal ads have But as of Friday, the site's personal ads no longer exist.Unlike dating apps that often require being linked to a social media account, on Craigslist you could be nameless and Facebook-less.
Meeting and falling in love with a supportive, mature partner is a worthy priority intool for dating in your 40s, all you have to decide is which site suits you best.Over 40 dating sites aren't in short supply, so it's important to find the one that
Irish Singles Chart. Retrieved .a b c Martin, Fred (1993). Irish Top 50 Singles1992. Dublin, Ireland: Gallup Publishing Ireland.
There is no conceivable way that a dating site aimed at teens would be able to keep the pedophiles away from catfishing the teens. The liability issues arising
Craft of Charisma dating coach will teach you how to meet and attact beautiful women. Featured in Online Classes. Access some of the world's best courses on dating, love and relationship from your computer.Years in Business. 86
Explore Modely C's board "Date nightromantic" on Pinterest.See more ideas about Love is, My love and Quotes love.
Oct 28, 2018The following is a list of Counter-Strike: Global Offensive console commands and variables.shot this often in seconds (. 10screen shot every 10 seconds w"a", When performing CSGO community matchmaking look for servers When picker is on, the bounding box, pivot and debugging text is
Dec 20, 2018Eventbrite - Bellybutterflies presents Speed Dating !! Ages 50 + - Thursday, at NIU Japanese Fusion, Chicago, IL.
Dating apps are now mainstream, especially among the young, with aused datingbetween filipino, if we love meet korean dating site in 1994, and marriage at south It's been a little over a year that Raya—a dating app that caters to PEW
Feb 20, 2019black and white line drawing showing roads, campground loops, ranger station,in the park that has water and electric (3050 amp) hookups for RVs.Group sites are available for 10 (minimum) to 25 (maximum) people per
Create your FREE profilestart dating today! I am a:56 - Windhoek. Well, i am a I am engaged to a beautiful woman that I met from this site. It was well
Aug 20, 2000The Constitution of the United States allowed a male slave to count as Some black units precede this date, but they were disbanded as unofficial.1998. . Civil rights veteran James Farmer was one of 15
May 21, 2014This One Thing Predicts Divorce With 94% Certainty I didn't mean to be rudeit was thoughtless enthusiasm most of the time, but he
Dec 18, 2017Dating isn't just for Millennialshere are the websites that will give This trusted site is constantly finding new and better ways to matchA solid 82% of members are aged 30 or older, with 52% in the 30-to-45 age range,
Page 84 of 229and now she will be with me for Christmas in Australia were we will be getting engaged and married next year we both could not be happier!
Who will it be? Find out in this quiz! 83 Anyone can take this. I got most of my info from
Join free online chat rooms and chat with friends, meet new people and more. Choose from Wives who date and hubs who allow it. 16 People Chatting.
Huge list of differentiation between our ability to find the best senior dating. Ourtime. Gay dating site for older man in 50. Using 29 dimensions of christian dating
Feb 24, 2019Get discount Chemistry Speed Dating (Ages 35-49) tickets for By submitting this form, you agree to our Terms of Service and that you have
Publisher, Vintage Books, New York. Publication date. 1991. Pages, 399. ISBN978-0-679-73577-9OCLC22308330Dewey Decimal. 813.54 20. LC Class,A8 1991. American Psycho is a novel by Bret Easton Ellis, published in 1991. The story is told in the first
Free irish dating site helping local men and women to find online love our service The irish people irish muintir na h ireann or na h ireannaigh are a nation and
Sep 18, 2015Most Ashley Madison members are men, but there are women on plenty of Prior to the July hack, the adulterous dating website claimed that 30% of itsThe average age of users is 31 years old, adds Vermeulen, which he
May 1, 2017The tips involve letting your spouse "win" the fight, even if you're right.When you get married, understand that for a life long relationship to work you will have to change a lot and your spouse will have toht The Sun.
Apr 11, 2018Even traditional matchmaking services are wading in. I used to be a Matchmakers are now overseeing their clients' dating app accounts. With so many people using theFor men, it's 22 and 29. That gives you almost a
Specifically, she says that she finds it hard to feel good about herself when she is dating a man eight years younger. She doesn't feel safe
you just lost your chance to date a police officer. k thnx byee!I'm sure he fails as hard at being a cop as he does at the rest of life.
Jan 2, 2018CS:GO Prime Matchmaking vs Non-Prime Matchmaking is explained in brief by our expert csgo smurf account boosters who deal in both the
Feb 22, 2019Aries is the one fire sign you don't want to mess with, but if you find yourself falling forwhat you need to know about dating and relationships involving a fiery ram.RELATED: 10 Brutal Truths About Loving An Aries Man
Read your profile distinctive. Widower dating profile can be difficult and plentyoffish. 20 august 18 at online dating profile pictures can be difficult and even show
Feb 27, 2018The other 95 percent just talk about themselves incessantly.Guys, be sure to use these five tips on your speed dates as wellyou only get
Send mail free to hot dating sites in canada.51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86
Whether you're looking for a romantic at-home date, inspiration for an adventurous night on the A Date Night Twist on the Classic Newlywed Game Show!
Plovdiv Mentoring Celebrating available Singles, Paris 45-55, Rajshahi Personals. Hook Park Tall Bible Men, Speed Dating Paris 45-55 Ans, Find Pastors
1 Long after that date, prosecutions after-the-fact for seditious libel were84 Its provision of keeping and bearing arms made it very clear that the right
Dec 7, 2013DATING IN IRELAND has become a tricky business. The landscape has changed and singletons seem drowned in opportunities to meet their
Nov 5, 2017We narrowed down a super-short list of all-time best Reddit dating advice from the great many dating subreddits.
Aug 30, 2014It's called "Matchmaking Server Picker" and it's available on http:csgo.mm sucks. 22:23.
Jan 4, 2019If you're looking to find a new boo, try these 5 dating apps that are perfectto give online dating a shot, here are a few teen-friendly options.
4 days ago36% of couples and 33% of singles said they feel their relationships fall33. Australia. Every year Australian singles spendbillion on
Sep 18, 2018I have a friend who works for one of these fake sites.The average age of a romance fraud victim is 50 and 63% of victims are women.
online dating meme
dating for geeks
dating new york
speed dating atlanta
completely free dating sites
dating sites in ireland
dating a separated woman
dating a magma grunt
c dating login
virgo dating virgo
casual dating uk
weirdest dating sites
pisces woman dating scorpio man
dating italian men
dating app schweiz


Goodness. Having you here is amazing. I would love to show you the beautiful weddings I have shot over 5 years. Shooting yours would be the best ever. You know why? Because I know how awkward photographers make couples feel with posing and all that. Every single photo I take is natural. It’s real. It’s a true memory between you and your loved ones. Come, let me show you more… How about some coffee?


Bringing together men of all ages to grow in relationship with Jesus Christ and encouraging each other to be servant leaders in our families, church and communities.Read More>>
Proverbs 27:17 states, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” We believe that strong men build up other strong men.Read More>>
Taking men on a journey, not an experience, through fellowship, encouragement, community outreach and support of other church ministries.Read More>>
Growing in relationship with God, each other and the world so that we may present every man complete in Christ as St. Paul wrote in Colossians 1:28.Read More>>
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.


Before I start let me just say that I also love my boys and my youngest daughter. Just because I'm posting about the two oldest doesn't mean I don't care about the rest of you. Got that kids?
Before I start this you should probably know that we hosted a foreign exchange student last year. Mag is a wonderful girl from Belgium and she and my oldest daughter, Callan became best of friends. We were all very sad when she went back home in June.
So yesterday I posted on my facebook account something like "My oldest daughter, the genius." I'd gotten a copy of the email Yale sent her. Yale sent my daughter an email. I'm so proud I could melt. Then my daughter comments "You know it" which made me laugh.
Then Mag posted "I am the oldest daughter, Callan." You have know idea how wonderful this made me feel, besides the fact it made me laugh. That Mag feels like a part of our family touches me. That she is comfortable making jokes on my facebook posts... Well you get the picture.
I love those girls. I love their relationship to each other, that they talk via facebook everyday. Mag is this wonderful artistic young woman, Callan is into the math and science end of things. That the two of them will soon be let loose on the world is a very good thing.
Nothing but good times ahead.


“With Love” Kylemore Valentines Hamper
Show someone you love them this Valentine’s Day with our gorgeous “With Love” Valentine’s Hamper. Wrap up for a romantic walk in deep red Aran knitwear and encourage your love one to indulge in TLC with the aromatic Green Angel bath & shower gel.
- Red Aran Wollen Mill hat with Pom Pom
- Red Aran Wollen Mill snood scarf
- Green Angel Seaweed Bath and Shower Gel with Lavender and Mandarin
- Small Hamper Box


Picking a gift is more than just buying something that costs a considerable amount of money. Your gift should send a message. Here are 3 important things that you need to remember while choosing a gift:
- The occasion can help you pick a suitable gift. If someone is having a baby, you are going to get them something different from what you’d have got if they are moving to a new place.
- How well you know the person plays an important role in picking the perfect gift. If you don’t know the person enough to predict their needs, you can always ask someone who knows them better. It is also important to think about the family situation of that person, their home space, and cultural or religious beliefs.
- Think about your relationship with that person. If you are giving a present to a co-worker or a colleague, you should avoid picking personal gifts.
Remember that the price tag doesn’t matter as much as the effort you put into picking the best gift. So next time you are thinking about giving someone a gift, you should give it some more thought.


Want a more orgasmic life and deeply fulfilling partnership? In this episode, Sex and Intimacy Coach Xeces Lewis shares how to connect with your inner feminine goddess so that you can have a wildly orgasmic life in the bedroom AND the boardroom! Tune in now!
In this episode we talk about:
- How to have a deeper and more pleasurable sex life (whether thats by yourself or with someone else!)
- How to create your own pleasure practice for deeper intimacy
- How to have conversations about what you want in the bedroom with a partner
- How masculine and feminine energy interact in the bedroom and how to embody your most divine goddess energy
We talk mainly about heterosexual relationships, however the principles and practices discussed are universal and apply to all gender identities and sexual orientations!
Connect with Xerces:
Connect with Hayley:
Boss Goddess Business Academy Waitlist (save 20%)


“Is it love or addiction?” Learn how to break with emotional dependency (English Edition)
Are you trapped in an unhappy romantic relationship? Do you think you have lost control of your life and that you’re conditioned by your partner? Do you feel like you’ve lost yourself or that you don’t even remember what you were like before you met him? If so, you probably suffer from emotional dependence.
We know that in any relationship there are never any guarantees, but some people get hooked, create toxic bonds with the other, and son, without realizing it, they begin to lose control of their own lives. Those who suffer from emotional dependency have a skewed idea of love and believe that it’s always tied to suffering. As a result, the stop being who they are, their vitality and dreams wither and die, and their whole life begins to revolve around the other, the person they aren’t even happy with.
Silvia Congost, a reference psychologist and expert in the treatment of emotional dependency, offers the manual Is it love or addiction? that will help you to become aware of the situation you’re in. It will guide you in a clear, warm and thoughtful way toward finding your inner strength, the only thing that will free you from your situation of dependence and allow you to build the relationship that you deserve.


Dear Pretty Real,
I broke my virginity at the age of 18 and since then, every relationship I’ve been in, has sucked. No matter how nice I am, guys seem to treat me like shit. And I’m the perfect girlfriend: I cook for them, drive them anywhere they want and give them their space when they need it. I even go the extra mile in the bedroom. I’ll watch whatever kinky porn they’re into; they can tie me up, spank me, bring another girl in – I’m pretty much down for whatever. Which is why I don’t know why they all end up a) Cheating on me b) Dumping me or C) Cheating on me, dumping me and giving me a nasty rash around my vagina. Help me Pretty real, what am I doing wrong?
FIND OUT WHAT WE THINK JODY SHOULD DO: HELP ME, PRETTY REAL…MEN KEEP WALKING ALL OVER ME!


A fair amount of time has passed since my last relationship. I’m not embarrassed; this is just a matter of a fact for me.
Although it can make me feel out of practice with having a romantic connection with a guy, or being comfortable with vulnerability between me and someone else. It can almost feel like that is a completely separate life than what I know because it has been quiet some time since I’ve last been in that place.
Yet, this is what God dropped on me a few weeks ago. If I’m in a serious relationship with Christ should I be “out of practice” when it comes to being in a romantic relationship?
If dating is supposed to lead to marriage and marriage is a representation of Christ’s love, then isn’t a serious relationship supposed to reflect how we are to treat, pursue, and love one another?
The next time someone comes along, should I be so out of practice that I don’t know how to relate, be vulnerable, purposeful, honest and kind in the pursuance of someone? Is it okay if I’ve forgotten how being pursued is supposed to feel?
The answer is no.
I should be really good at being in a romantic relationship.
If I was so aware of how Christ pursued me, then I would know how I should be pursued.
I should be so aware of how well I am loved by Christ that I don’t shy away at the risk love takes. Christ risked it all for me, and I’m not saying to jump head over heels for anybody or even everybody because, yes, there is such a thing as guarding your heart. That’s not just a cliché Christian phrase we slap onto every heart throbbing problem we have.
All I know is that God was giving me some insight the other day and He said I should not be out of practice when it comes to being in a serious relationship because I should always be in pursuance of my relationship with Christ and aware of His pursuance towards me.
“Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love”
1 John 4:7-8


Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! Whether you’re single or taken, take this day to spread the love to those around you!
If you’re like me and you spent all your money over Christmas break and you’re dreading the thought of spending more money today – check out these thoughtful (and inexpensive) ways to do something special for your significant other or yourself!
For your significant other…
1. Cook them dinner
Or breakfast, lunch – whatever you like! A homemade meal is always nice, especially during this busy midterm season when many of us are surviving on leftovers and take out.
2. Flowers and/or chocolate
Cliché, I know. But that doesn’t mean it won’t brighten up his or her day! I personally think these boxes of roses are really beautiful.
3. Make a photo collage
A trip down memory lane is always fun and nostalgic. Make a cute photo collage of you and your significant other and watch them swoon!
1. Movie night
Cozy up with a fuzzy blanket and enjoy a night in. Take some time off from studying tonight to enjoy yourself!
2. Pamper yourself
Take a hot shower or a bubble bath, do a face mask, and just treat yourself! Don’t forget to take care of your own well-being today.
3. Invite some friends over for a night in (or out!)
Make it a Galentine’s Day if you’d like – kick back, enjoy each other’s company, and maybe even some wine!
Spread the love and enjoy some good company tonight. And remember, with or without a partner, remember to love yourself!


One Valentine’s season many years ago, I bewailed to a friend that I didn’t have a date and that I wished someone would send me a card. Now this particular friend is naughty in a nice way. (Yes, it’s possible!) On Valentine’s Day of that year, someone DID send me a card through our office messenger. I was surprised, of course, and wheedled him to tell me who it’s from. The messenger, with a twinkle in his eye, simply said, “You have to open it to find out.”
The Valentine’s Day card is from my good friend, Tess. Yes, a female! Much more romantic than I am, she couldn’t care less if we’re both without dates that year. What was important for her was that I am happy and she made someone’s wish come true.
I am not sure if I kept the card (see how unromantic I am?), but the memory remains long after that Valentine’s Day has passed. As for the friend, she’s now blissfully married and living a charmed life abroad. I am sure it’s the Universe’s way of repaying her for being such a generous and happy soul.
How about you? What have you done lately to make someone’s day?
Happy reading. Keep making someone happy!
First published: 13 August 2012


Six Money Questions to Discuss with Your Partner
Aarinder Lidder - Apr 18, 2022
Money continues to be one of the top issues that couples argue about. While research has determined that talking with a spouse or partner about finances can actually increase relationship satisfaction, many couples are still hesitant to have these conversations. To read the full article click here.


Calling out all my single ladies! Here’s a brief how-to guide (based off of personal experiences), on the yes and nos to what to do on your first date.
Let’s face it when it comes to texting a guy/girl (hey, we are in the 21st century now), you met off of social media, it should be second nature in feeling comfortable behind your whatever I-phone you have.
(If you’re not so confident, maybe we should discuss ‘texting a hottie 101’)
Behind your phone, they can’t see how you look or can even see you put your sentences together without auto-correct. This is probably why “cat-fishing” is such a real thing.
But no, we’re not going to go into a whole discussion on how fucked up “catfishing” is, I’m here to give you the best first date tips that I got. Based off of my years of dating (and I’m using the word ‘years’ very slightly), and second-hand experiences with my friends.
Tip 1: Leave Your Insecurities At Home!
This is a very tricky topic because as a female we are so used to talking about what’s wrong with us so nonchalantly.
With an, “omg, I look so gross right now” or “wow, I look so fat”. I say this with the most care in my heart, STOP THAT SHIT!
He/She is already going on a date with you, so assuming the obvious there must be some type of attraction there already, just be you who cares.
(unless you’re on a blind date and your friend completely forgot to mention his shitty attitude. Get out of there!)
Tip 2: Pick a Casual Spot
The date spot you pick pretty much sets the mood for the rest of the time you’ll have together with that person.
A bar, a restaurant, a bar-cade.. somewhere where you both are surrounded by people you don’t know, so you’ll feel more comfortable talking to the person you’re with. Boom easy peasy.
***p.s for the love of God, don’t go to the movies on a first date. Nothing is more uncomfortable than sitting next to someone you’re into, have their eyes on something that isn’t you!
Tip 3: Don’t Bring Your Homie
I completely understand the nervous feeling of being on a date with someone for the first time so you feeling bringing your friend along will make you feel more comfortable…
But are you going to start a three-way relationship with your best friend in it? Because HELLOOOO that’s what it seems like!
You’re on a date with someone that you’re feeling (hopefully), so simply keep it just between you two. Get to know each other.
If he seems like a serial killer, have your mom and 911 on speed dial.
Tip 4: Have Fun
Even though I am giving tips on the dos and don’ts of a first date, at the end of the day it is YOU going on this date. Enjoy yourself!
Don’t feel the need to overthink certain decisions that you want to do.
You wanna get that Jameson and Ginger ale (yummy), drink that shit. If you want to sing out loud to a song at the bar, sing it. WHO CARES!
At the end of the day, if the person you’re on a date with doesn’t seem interested, fuck them (as in forget them lol) and move on, it’s ONLY your first of many dates in your life so why to worry about a person that doesn’t like you for you.
You’ll Do Amazing Sweetie!
I hope you all enjoy this first “dating/relationship” advice post, and hopefully, I can do more in the future.
If you have any memorable first date experiences or your own opinions on the dos & don’ts on a first date, feel free to comment below!


I came across this article which features a couple who celebrates 57 years of marriage with “Notebook”-themed photoshoot.
Let me quote from the article:
Clemma and Sterling Elmore have been together for 57-years and counting. To celebrate their endless love, the couple’s granddaughter, Amber, planned them a photoshoot inspired by one of Clemma’s favorite movies – “The Notebook”.
“When I met Sterling, he was like that and we knew we loved each other immediately,” Clemma told a local news station. “Sterling is the sweetest loving person I’ve ever met. We tell each other that we love each other at least 10 times a day and that is what I wanted. He said that when he saw me, he knew that I was the one.” Now this is what I call #RelationshipGoals.
It made me cryyyyyy. I want a love like that, too, fifty seven years from now. I want a love so pure that every night, I will look at him and say to my self, “I knew he was the one”. I want to wake up every day for fifty seven years, seeing my life next to me, and be grateful for his life. I want my Sterling, too.
I know I am very far from being a good girl. There are times I get really out of control. I get mad. I throw tantrums. I over react. I over think. I am completely unbelievable. I get PMS. I dominate. I want, I get. But somehow, I believe there is this guy who will tell me all these things are okay. That he accepts me and still wants to pursue me. That he still wants to love me and care for me and hold me. I know God has this man prepared for me, one who is imperfect but is perfect for me. I want a man who is armored with God’s love. A man who understands all my craziness in life. I know in my heart that at the right time, God will present this guy, whom I have already met, or will meet in the future. Of course that time will be magical! After that, everything will make sense. Fifty seven years after that right time, I will say, “I knew he was the one for me.”
And in our fifty seven years of celebrating love together, we will also show the world how happy and blessed we are of each other, through a photoshoot like this:


Fair warning this post is WAY more than just some pins and wedding stuff.
Oh Pinterest. Here we go again with the wedding board. Single, dating, married; doesn’t matter we all have that wedding board or we have at least a couple hundred wedding pins just in case one day it happens. Why shouldn’t I have 30 wedding dresses pinned?
Let’s just dive right into my current wedding fever.
I’m divorced. My first wedding was fun. I loved seeing so many of my family and friends having a great time. Unfortunately it was not fun for me. Had you attended my wedding you would have thought I was the happiest girl on the planet. The smile on my face was endless and the effort I put into that wedding showed. Sadly though, I was very unhappy. My wedding day was nothing like I had pictured as a little girl. My life at that point was nothing like I pictured as a little girl. Reason being, I got married for all the wrong reasons. To keep a long story short, never get married because you have a child with someone or because you feel pressure to “do the right thing”. Marry someone who makes your life and you better. Marry someone who loves you for you. Marry someone who makes you a priority rather than an option.
So, on that note, yes I have wedding fever again! I feel like my first walk down the isle wasn’t for me at all. It was an attempt to do right by my situation. So this time, I want to do right by me. For the first time in my life, I’m with a person who I want to be with. My daughter loves him, I love him, and he loves us. So although it’s only been about a year (we’ve known each other longer) I totally have wedding fever. And the best way to handle that fever is Pinterest.
My wedding board is called Some.Day. It started out with a Black & red theme, but now has turned into an over the top Fall theme. Reason being, Jeff and I started dating in the Fall, it’s our favorite time of year, and Fall has always been special to me. His birthday is in October, Allison and I are in November. We love football, fall weather, and Halloween. Do I have a ring on this finger yet? Nope.
My recent wedding pin obsession is just a healthy way to channel my wedding fever into something rather than channeling it at Jeff. So many ladies push and push and push the engagement. Do I think he feels the same way, yes. So why push it? I want him to ask me when he wants to. I want it to be a surprise, especially because I didn’t get that the first time. Every girl deserves the chance to say yes, and every guy deserves the chance to ask.
This sign WILL happen. I think about this very thing all the time. I spent so much time unhappy, trying to make it work for everyone but myself. Finally I’m happy, not just with my relationship, but with myself. Another thing, if I’m being honest, I didn’t love the way I looked or felt on my wedding day. A little non scale victory, I want to wear a wedding dress that I love, not one that I picked out of lack of options because nothing else would fit. I want to wear a wedding dress I love because I love the person I’m wearing it for. I’m totally digging the long sleeves and the lace!
Check out my wedding board on Pinterest, HERE.
What’s on your Pinterest wedding board?


How important is actually gender inside union? Is it a deal-breaker any time you and your partner don’t see eye-to-eye in the bedroom? Per a recent poll, almost a 3rd of Us americans state when they didn’t have good sexual life using their companion, it might make them break-off the connection.
The study ended up being executed by site DatingAdvice.com, which surveyed 1,080 participants over the course of three weeks, balancing the information to truthfully express the U.S. populace.
The male is definitely much more dedicated to a good love life than ladies, with 33per cent saying they might end a relationship over unsatisfactory sex, in comparison to only 22percent of females.
In addition to gender, the analysis out of cash along the data per marital status, sexual choice, race, get older, earnings, and geographical area.
Divorced people were prone to answer from inside the affirmative compared to those who have been still married. Multiple in three divorcees said they will keep relationships that provided unsatisfying intercourse whereas singular in five wedded respondents did.
Gay men and lesbian females were 50 % very likely to leave an intimately unsatisfying commitment than direct women and men â more than other class. Thirty-eight percent of African-American men and women would cease a relationship as long as they were not pleased in room, and that’s three times the rate of Asian-American people.
When it comes to age, the elderly had been very likely to decide to stay-in the partnership (24per cent many years 65 and more mature) when compared with their own more youthful competitors. Interestingly, those ages 35-44 had been the most likely to leave the connection at 32per cent, in comparison to those aged 18-24 at 29per cent and 25-34 at 27per cent.
Geographic area does not appear to may play a role in just how individuals think, using Northeast, Midwest, western and South about just as at ease with the notion of splitting up with a partner over unsatisfying sex. Income but does apparently affect the choice, with those generating $125,000 or more (about 21%) finding it more difficult to split up over an unsatisfying sex life weighed against those getting less (averaging about 30percent).
Gina Stewart, a Dating Suggestions expert, stated sex is actually a crucially crucial element of a relationship to a lot of People in the us. “While some believe fulfilling gender between two enthusiasts are created, others believe sexual chemistry either prevails or it does not,” she stated. “this research mirrors those perceptions, with a substantial portion of people either not willing to get results at an unsatisfying sex-life or thinking these a relationship is actually condemned.”


Intimacy is a subject matter I have always been frustrated by when it comes to relating to others. I identify as an asexual woman, not understanding the desire for physical intimacy with anyone, beyond perhaps a loving embrace, or maybe a peck or something. I have only ever fallen in love with the opposite sex as friends... nothing more. This may sound rather Hallmark card to say, but to me, laughter with a loved one is the highest form of intimacy, to double over with the object of my admiration... nothing is greater than that. But men who take an interest in me never have understood what I desire... they only seem to crave my body, they crave things I can't willingly provide.
I cannot view any act that is sexual with any man, or woman, as anything other than a complete violation. Unfortunately, most people do not comprehend what I find intimate and joyful, and so, as you can imagine, it is a challenge to find a loving companion in this sex crazed world. I really only like men as platonic pals, so the minute the blood rushes to their junk at the thought of me, it's game over... they might as well whip out a crack pipe. I am not having it.
I take a mild interest in other people's obsessions with sexual activity, rather like Jane Goodall studying her chimps: I find it hilarious and fascinating, ultimately it's a complete waste of time to me, but I seek to understand what the big deal is. I have grown a tad more aromantic, as well as asexual, than in the past, due to disappointment with love in my life, and this is in part why I considered becoming a nun, because the only one who truly understood the kind of love I crave is, well... God.
There's still a side of me that wants to fall in love with someone as a friend again... but I just don't believe it will happen now. Oh well... at least I have learned to love myself, which was a major challenge for me, for many years.


When you sleep, next to me.
I like where you sleep... here
Cause our lips, can touch
And our cheeks, can brush
Our lips can touch here
Well you are the one the one that lies close to me
Whisper's hello I miss you quite terribly
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms
Here in your arms
Tu connais? Combien sur 10?


How often have you heard or read relationship advice recommending that you concentrate on your own needs? That is not bad advice in the sense that you need to take care of yourself in order to be there for the other person. But it can be taken to an extreme. Concentrating solely on oneself leads to the inevitable question of whose needs are most important.
Here’s the unfiltered truth: in any relationship, no one person’s needs are more important than any others involved in that relationship. It doesn’t matter whether you’re talking about a couple, a family of four, or even a group of good friends. Everyone’s needs carry equal weight and importance.
Special Needs Do Come Up
This isn’t to say there aren’t circumstances when a special need comes up, a need that temporarily takes precedence over everything else. It happens. But across the totality of a relationship, anyone who feels their needs are more important than everyone else’s is doomed to harm that relationship if nothing changes.
At Relationships & More in Westchester County, NY, couples often talk about some pretty common needs they don’t feel are being met:
- Emotional security
- Financial security
- Mutual support
- Physical and emotional intimacy.
The list could be continued, but the point is well made. When people in a relationship feel their needs are not being met, they have one of two choices. They can dig in their heels and demand that those needs be met, or they can collaborate with everyone involved to find solutions.
Neediness and Selfishness
Let’s move forward by going back to one of the foundational points of this post: the modern belief that we should all be looking after our own needs first. We speak of it in terms of self-care, me time, and other euphemisms designed to mask the truth. But let us discuss what it really means.
The person only focused on their own needs is, by definition, needy. And needy people are either terribly selfish or headed in that direction. This is the trap of approaching a relationship with the mindset that it will meet your needs. That’s not what relationships are about. They never have been about having your needs met.
Selfishness and the Blame Game
Selfishness is an ugly animal that produces ugly children. A selfish person who is convinced their needs are not being met is generally quick to blame others. They don’t feel fulfilled in their marriage so it must be their spouse’s fault. They cannot find happiness as a parent so it must be the kids’ fault. It is obviously their employer’s fault that they hate their job.
This comes up so often in marriage counseling that it’s quite predictable. Relationships & More therapists can recognize this tendency within the first few minutes of a couple’s first session. Once the blame game starts, selfishness rears its ugly head.
Others’ Needs Matter
The obvious lesson in all this is that the needs of others actually do matter. In any relationship you find yourself in, you are not the only one with needs. Everyone else has needs to. Their needs are as equally valid and important as yours.
This suggests that perhaps focusing mainly on our own needs is the wrong way to go. Take the couple in marriage counseling. If they both change tack, committing to meet the other’s needs, what would happen? Both of their needs would be met and that would be that. But when both focus on their own needs instead, neither of them find what they are looking for. Therein lies the trap that so many relationships get caught in.


In a previous post I shared three questions I received, and answered one. Here are replies to the other two.
Why can only love for and from God fulfill the Self’s need for love?
The individual soul is finite. Finite means limited. We cannot understand and appreciate every aspect, every minute nuance, of another’s personality, thoughts, desires, and needs.
Even our primary and reliable method of communication, words, completely fail us when we try to share an exact feeling—every complexity of it, how it mixes with other feelings, how it relates to all aspects of our experience and personality.
Each of us is unique. Unique loveliness. Who can understand our complex uniqueness which is not duplicated anywhere else in the world?
Only one who understands us, exactly as we perceive our self, can make our heart sing through a loving relationship exactly suited to our temperament, concept of pleasure, and the vast construct of our individuality.
The Divine is infinite. Only God is capable of the mystic feat of knowing us exactly as we are. There is no barrier between his knowing and feeling and our knowing and feeling. This enables him to reciprocate each thought, each action, each desire with piercing accuracy according to our needs and wants.
Why can’t our unconditional love and compassion in relationships with others fulfill the need of the Soul?
To a very large degree we can be fulfilled by unconditional love from another person.
Come from Your Heart; See with Your Heart
We are spiritual Beings—every one of us. The way we draw out genuine love consistently is to approach relationships with a clear view of our spiritual identity and make daily reference to this vision. We must cultivate this vision, see with the heart—sometimes every few minutes when someone is really annoying us!
Each of us is worthy of unconditional love.
What happens when we love others like this?
Practicing Unconditional Love
Love wielded incorrectly, inappropriately, or immaturely can wreak havoc. Love must be handled with discretion, intelligence, and compassion, and in practical terms, ever fluid in its search for true and pure expression.
While we do not leave discrimination aside, we practice drawing up the feeling of unconditional love.
For women who have had children and their maternal instincts kicked in it’s a simple matter of remembering those feelings. For those who have never had a maternal experience, then examining the nature of other’s maternal expression may help point the way. We can also look at any relationship that we feel most loving and meditate on expressing more love in a pure, selfless way (not self-negating way).
Practice builds up our heart muscle, our heart intelligence, our heart feeling. We can learn how to handle love, and it requires conscious handling. With this intent, our heart opens more and more to its natural state. Each step toward loving fully is more joyful than the previous. We soften the heart a little more each time we extend selfless love, until it is like whipped butter which spreads deliciously, warmly, avoiding artificial imitation.
As you know, I consider the avenue of developing authentic love for our Self and others on top of the list for a spiritual life.
Considering that we all live with others on a daily basis, and how important relationships are in our lives and as a spiritual path, the closer we come to spiritually loving others, the closer we come to self fulfillment.
Love is a wonderful, self-perpetuating commodity.


Happy Valentine's Day!
I'll admit as a child Valentine's Day was not my favorite day, I got teased a lot. But as an adult I do enjoy it. It gives me a day to make a date with my husband and to make a special effort to say I love you, something I do not think we do enough of. Days get busy and often we forget to make special notice of those we love. If it takes a special day of the year to make me stop and take note, then I say "Thanks Valentine's day" for reminding me how much I love my husband.


Dealing With Trust IssuesFeb 11, 2022
How to Resolve TRUST ISSUES in a Relationship?
Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.
Trust is the firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. It is the cornerstone of every relationship be it a romantic, friendly, professional, or familial relationship.
Trust is that oil that ensures the smooth functioning of every relationship. The absence of trust can have serious consequences.
However, the portion of ourselves we invest in each individual may vary depending upon our past experiences with them. When we trust someone we are putting ourselves in the most vulnerable position. Any betrayal may leave scars or lifelong damage, which can be irreparable.
Below is a survey that reveals the level of trust people have in each other in the United States:
What to do When You Are Having Trust Issues?
Acknowledge the problem:
Before going any further with distrust in a relationship, acknowledge that you don’t trust them completely and that an issue is present.
Communication is the key solution to solving problems, no matter how trivial it may seem to you. Have an open and honest conversation with the person you no longer trust. Share why and what caused distrust. If you have proof, show them so that you have a strong basis to your objections. It's likely that you will be able to clarify all misunderstandings.
As a couple or pair, you can look for ways to reinstate the lost trust. Decide upon certain criteria that one must meet to be reliable and trustworthy again. Create an action plan.
You have done all you could to save your relationship, and still, you are dealing with trust issues. Ask yourself: Can I do away with the relationship? Does this relationship add value to my life?
You are not obligated to carry on and keep yourself forever tormented in any relationship. Such relationships are definitely not worth your time and emotions.
If the person is your parent, a sibling or a co-worker with whom you cannot break ties easily, it may be time to set firm boundaries. As theses relationships are sometimes unavoidable, it is essential to utilized the aforementioned steps and develop a positive way forward for a healthy, trusting relationship.
With your past experiences with the respective person, you should develop a backup plan and coping strategies in the event they betray you again. Thus, protecting yourself and preventing further emotional damage.
Whoever the person is, it may be beneficial to give them a chance to explain themselves. At times, our past experiences are so hurtful, we fear trusting people; however, finding the strength to trust and forgive could be advantageous to our personal growth and finding a trustworthy person.
“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” –Ernest Hemingway


“We have thoughtfully and lovingly thought about this choice for some time. We have a beautiful life together despite the fact that we are two quite different persons. We have made the decision to stop our relationship as a couple, but we will always be close friends and loving parents. We beg for your understanding as we start this new stage of our lives and for your support of our children.
On the set of the Australian soap serial Correlli in 1995, Hugh Jackman and Deborra-lee Furness got to know one another. They got married in 1996 and have Oscar and Ava, two adopted kids.
Hugh Jackman and Deborra-lee are divorcing each other peacefully.
“We have been blessed to share almost three decades together as husband and wife in a wonderful, loving marriage,” the couple write in a statement given exclusively to PEOPLE. We have decided to separate in order to pursue our individual growth as our journey is changing right now.
“Our family has always been and will always be our top focus. We begin the following chapter with a spirit of thanks, love, and kindness. As our family navigates this adjustment in our lives, we sincerely appreciate your understanding and respect for our privacy.
The statement’s final line reads, “This is the only statement either of us will make,” and is signed, “Deb and Hugh Jackman.”
How Deb and Hugh Jackman met ?
The Australian couple has been married for 27 years and has two children, Oscar, age 23, and Ava, age 18.
The costars quickly fell in love with one other after meeting in 1995 on the set of the Australian television series Corelli. Less than a year later, Deb, an accomplished actress, and Hugh, a newcomer actor just out of theatre school, got married.
She was a tremendous star, Deb.Deb is in the driver’s seat when I’m picked up. Hugh, 54, recalled their initial meeting to PEOPLE in 2017 and said, “I’ll never forget.
“She unbuckled her seatbelt, turned around, held out her hand, removed her sunglasses, and introduced herself as Deborra-lee Furness, saying, “Hi, lovely to meet you. I distinctly recall thinking, “I like this chick.
The Greatest Showman actor shared a heartfelt tribute to Deb, 67, and their relationship on Instagram on their 27th wedding anniversary in April, saying in part, “I love you so much. Together, we have built a lovely family. plus life. Your spirit, generosity, humor, cheekiness, bravery, and dedication to me are a tremendous gift.
In May, they made their most recent red carpet appearance at the Met Gala, and in July, they were present at Wimbledon’s men’s finals.


sometimes you get so close to a person you forget you’re telling them things you’ve never even said out loud before
stop romanticizing unhealthy relationships.
stop thinking you can change someone. you can’t. they need to change for themselves.
stop romanticizing the idea of you two being together some day. if it isn’t happening now, let it go.
no more pouring your heart out for someone who gives you little to no reciprocation.
find someone who values your long letters and passionate attempts. this person will reciprocate, with twice as much fire.
humans are so cute, when we say goodbye we put our arms around each other and to show we love someone we bring them flowers. we say hello by holding each other’s hand, and sometimes tiny little dewdrops form in our eyes. for pleasure we listen to arrangements of sounds, press our lips together, smoke dried leaves, get drunk off of old fruit. we’re all just little animals, falling in love and having breakfast beneath billions of stars
Me: shit u good bruh
Phone: yeah fam I’m aight
1. I’ve always been big on drunken honesty, so let me be the first to tell you that he doesn’t give a shit about you. Please love me.
2. I never wanted to be alive until I heard my name slide across your tongue.
3. I keep getting high to forget that you won’t talk to me. I know it isn’t healthy, but you don’t care, so why should I?
4. Sometimes my feelings for you hit me like a fucking train and I can’t tell if I’m actually happy or if I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown.
5. I know its only been two hours since I last saw you, but I cant stop thinking about the way it felt when your lips touched mine.
6. Why did I think we could fix each other? Gasoline can’t put out a fire.
7. I get that you’re sad, but you can’t ignore me forever.
8. We’re so bad for each other, but, fuck, I don’t want to live in a world in which you don’t exist."


I'm not the high maintenance type of girl. It's the simple things that keep me happy and keep my relationship full of sparks. Last weekend my honey and I went on a lovely hike. Just a reminder of why I love him so much and why I love this chill life I've made for myself.
What outdoor activities do you enjoy with your sweetheart?
Spending time with nature is a wonderful way to alleviate stress.


If any comfort reach the grieving from the grave,
Know this, friend, while you, fond and sad, recall
The Love in life disdained, for whom our tears now fall:
Death holds for her no pain as bold or brave
As was the love she held for you, her joy, her all.
Trans. from the Latin by Thomas Banks


I sat in the front row. Black jacket. Black skirt. An older man I’d never met before began to tell stories of his deceased best friend and I found myself laughing, crying … wishing I had known the deceased better.
The deceased was my older brother.
My older brother and I weren’t close in the traditional sense. We didn’t call each other every week or go on vacations together once a year or even get together every Christmas.
But he would call or text me sometimes whenever something funny happened, and sometimes whenever he would come through town ( he was a truck driver ) he would call me from the truck stop and we’d get together for a quick bite to eat.
I always knew that he’d be there for me if I should ever need him and I’m pretty sure he knew he could count on me too.
He was the funniest person I ever knew. We often even made jokes about our sibling-hood.
One of the last times we got together before he died, he had just happened to be driving through town during his birthday weekend and he called from the truck stop, wanting to get together for some BBQ. So I went and picked him up and drove him to my favorite BBQ joint. And while we sat there, chowing down on ribs and baked beans, I joked with him about not being at home to sign for that birthday present that I did NOT send him. He said he wouldn’t worry about it too much because the mailman would probably just leave it on the porch – just like the UPS guy did with the birthday present that he sent me. ( He didn’t send me anything. )
He died five years ago this month. I miss him. And I also miss the future that I took for granted.
The future where we would have continued not sending birthday wishes and joking about how we didn’t – but also knowing that birthday wishes were not the cornerstone of our easy-going, goofy relationship.
And in my book … easy-going and goofy beats boxes and bows … every single time.


Coach Pamela is located in Phoenix, Arizona
at the Biltmore Office Plaza
2942 N 24th St. Suite 114 - by appointment only
Appointments Available Today
and 7 days a week
Coach Pamela/Stress Clinic
Let me show you how health & wellness coaching can change your mental & physical health, your relationships, and your life.
Before the wedding or after you move in together. Learn how to communicate more effectively. Stop bickering. Polish & Improve your conflict resolution skills.
Mental Health & Wellness Coaching
In-Home Communication Workshop for Couples or Families
Are you living together? Newlyweds? Married with children? Remarried or blended family? Are you and your partner or family quarreling, bickering, or miscommunicating more often? Does there seem to be more stress and tension in your home now that transitions have been made or changes are in place?
This private & confidential in-home educational workshop is designed to polish your personal communication skills and reduce misunderstandings and conflict in your home. Grab your partner or family members and get them on board. In a strategy-packed instructional workshop held in the privacy of your home, you and your partner or family will receive a refresher course in effective communication and conflict resolution skills without all the pressure of a counseling environment. Learning together as a couple or as a family in an educational setting will provide an opportunity to improve your family dynamic in a healthy and positive way.
Learn key techniques to reduce unspoken tension & stress in the home.
Learn how to deescalate and reduce conflict and move forward to problem resolution.
Learn how your body language can make your family bonds stronger & healthier.
Learn how to clarify manspeak and understand womanspeak. Language & Gender.
Understand what your partner, your teen, or your family member needs and wants.
Learn simple and practical strategies to get what you want and put your most valuable family relationships back on track today. Schedule this 90-minute educational workshop around your family's time. Workshop availability extends to evenings and week-ends. A travel charge may apply. Send an appointment request today to get started and book your private workshop in the convenience of your own home. $249


We had a wander around the Nanaimo Sea Walk this weekend. As we walked along the path, I came across this bench:
It was such a beautiful invitation that I sat for a moment and I felt a little bit of the peace that Margo felt. How lovely that she asked me not to just remember her, but that she was able to share a little bit of her feelings with me. Thank you, Margo.
I invite you to find a place to sit somewhere near you that gives you the opportunity to open yourself to a little bit of peace inside. Perhaps you can tell me where you went down in the comments below, so we can share it together. Be well.


Did you see the interesting article posted on PsychCentral about 6 ways Men and Women Communicate differently? Richard Drobnick makes some interesting points. To summarize, he believes that a man focuses on solving a problem and only communicates what he considers to be relevant details needed to solve the problem. When he is listening he assumes that the person he is talking to is seeking his advice or assistance. He doesn’t like being told what to do, and when he is feeling down, he withdraws into his “cave”
A women, on the other hand, talks to discover how she is feeling. She talks to organize her thoughts. The conversation is a process that is as important as the end product. If she feels understood, she may not need to take further action to solve the problem. When she is upset she doesn’t withdraw. Rather she talks to explore and express her emotions.
This is similar to the Men are from Mars, Women are From Venus position. No wonder there are misunderstandings when men and women attempt to communicate! What do you think? Do you agree?
Check out the full discussion at
The Conflict Whisperer


READY SET CHOKE
Five people discover happiness and self-identity when one of them faces the reality of marrying his long-time girlfriend and another starts a budding relationship with a lesbian.
Suffering a break-up and evaluating the relationship he and his estranged father share, Larry deliberates a career in the film industry amid doing re-shoots for a film he wrote. Sonny, the director, feels unsettled about marrying his girlfriend Mildred
for having never been intimate with anyone else. Noticing the recess, Mildred opts to take advice from a trio of divorcee’s, prompting her to fib to Sonny; withdrawing him even further. Albeit, Larry Strives to keep platonic relationships and
figure out his calling, a romance begins to bud between him and a barista named Larkin, which takes a turn for the worst after finding out she’s in a lesbian relationship.
As their film premier looms and with all of their relationships hanging in the balance, they must face the strongholds they’ve built for themselves if they’re going to find their self-identity and what truly makes them happy.


Both Bianca and myself found Kathana Jewellers polite, professional and passionate about helping us find the perfect engagement ring and wedding bands. In a very short time they were able to select the perfect diamond and produce our rings as we wished then to be customized. We were both extremely h...
SUNEEL SHARMA (ROMANIA)
The first time when we ordered something from Kathana Jewellers was our wedding ring..To get married is anyways a very special feeling,However if someone makes it exclusive adds to ur happiness aswell..We were so happy when we guyzz saw our wedding ring..The credit goes to Mr. Aditya and Mr. Ankur.....
Ashmeet & Ankur
Overall, a great experience and great moments to be cherished.
Yvonne & Nishant
I received the ring on Monday.My wife is very happy, the Ring is vey Beautiful ! I come to you for Engagement Ring, in a few months.
Samuel Leseine, France
Thanks for introducing great and fabulous designs. I was looking for these type of designs from a long time since my marriage days back in 2009 but couldn't locate one . This time I was looking for a Couple band Ring for my wife on her Birthday. I got the exact way of Ring I wa...


Three Steps In Finding Your Customers Love Language To Help Drive Sales.
Love languages are a powerful tool that can help small black-owned businesses to improve communication and build stronger relationships with their ideal customers. By understanding the unique ways that people express and interpret love, businesses can create more meaningful connections and drive brand awareness and revenue.
One way that small black-owned businesses can utilize love languages is by identifying the love language of their ideal customer and tailoring their communication and marketing efforts accordingly. For example, if the ideal customer values acts of service, the business could highlight the personalized, hands-on approach they take to meeting the needs of their customers. On the other hand, if the ideal customer values receiving gifts, the business could consider offering special promotions or loyalty rewards to show their appreciation.
Many existing black-owned brands are already utilizing love languages in their everyday business practices. For example, some brands may use words of affirmation to create a positive, supportive customer experience, while others may focus on quality time to build deeper connections with their customers.
To determine the love language of your customers, there are a few key steps you can take:
Observe how your customers respond to different forms of communication and appreciation. Do they seem to value words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, or physical touch the most?
Ask your customers directly about their preferred love language. You could include a survey on your website or social media, or simply ask them in person during a transaction.
Pay attention to feedback and reviews from your customers. Look for patterns in what they appreciate most about your business and how they feel valued and appreciated.
By properly determining the love language of your customers, you can create a more personalized and effective customer experience that helps to build brand awareness and revenue for your small black-owned business.