This wedding set was cutom designed for Nicole and Christopher Hoke. Initially Nicole had requested I make her a very simple band ring. . . during their engagement this very uniquely amazing couple inspired/collaborated with me and, the simple band ring developed into what you see today!
Thank you Nicole & Chris!! This was a wild ride :) Love you both!


The Payor Relations Analyst serves as the liaison between the Organization and its contracted payors, to promote superior customer service and relationships between the Organization and the insurance community. Serves as the point of contact for problem solving and providing assistance to the Plans and the various Cook entities.
Education and Experience:
3+ yrs of experience.
Intermediate skill set in word processing, spreadsheet, and/or database software.


Linda's Knitting Blog
Mostly about knitting with a few other fun things in my life.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
12th Anniversary Celebration
We've.been together since 1993 and celebrating our 12th wedding anniversary in kennebunk, Maine. We love to visit Maine but this is our first time with both the girls and the dog.
Links to this post


Getting a divorce can be a traumatic experience. You may have questions about child custody, asset distribution, and spousal support. A Divorce Lawyer in Santa Ana, California can help you navigate the legal system and make the best decisions. It’s important to understand what you’re getting into before you sign on the dotted line.
Divorce is a complex legal process, and it can be expensive. If you don’t hire an attorney, you may find yourself on the hook for large court costs and a precarious financial situation. A Santa Ana divorce lawyer can help you avoid the pitfalls of a divorce and make your life easier. You may also want to consider a collaborative divorce to reduce your court costs.
A Santa Ana divorce lawyer can assist you in determining the best way to divide your property. California is a community property state, meaning that each party has an equal share of the property acquired during the marriage. The court will also consider your earning capacity and the marital standard of living.
A Santa Ana divorce lawyer can also help you settle alimony and child custody issues. If you are paying your spouse a significant amount of money each month, you may be able to request a court order for temporary spousal support while your divorce is in progress. The court can order spousal support in any amount, for any period of time, and in any manner.
A Santa Ana divorce lawyer can also explain the legal rights you have during the process. If your spouse is hiding assets, you may need an attorney’s help to uncover the truth. The cost of a Santa Ana divorce lawyer may also increase if you have a complicated divorce situation.
A Santa Ana divorce lawyer can also tell you what’s the most important thing you need to know about a divorce. The shortest divorce time period depends on the facts of your case. A no-fault divorce allows you to end your marriage without fault. In California, you can also request a temporary spousal support order while your divorce is pending. The court will determine the amount, depending on your needs and your spouse’s income.
A Santa Ana divorce lawyer can also give you a few tips about alimony and child custody. An experienced attorney can also give you a Christian perspective on divorce.
The best Santa Ana divorce lawyer can help you decide what’s best for your family. They can help you navigate the legal system, avoid costly mistakes, and make sure that your interests are protected. A Santa Ana divorce lawyer can also help you reach your goals.
A Santa Ana divorce lawyer can also be helpful if you’re unsure about which state to file in. There are several state mandates and acts that may come into play in a divorce. For example, the court may require you to submit a petition for “Dissolution of Marriage” before you can obtain a divorce. The court may also award alimony if you and your spouse are unable to agree on child custody arrangements.


Why does everyone want to be creative?
The way we engage with one another is evolving. Advancements in technology have lead to the rise of a network of informed, tech-minded, global citizens. Technology now has a multifarious relationship with society and has permeated into it all aspects of it, with the potential to completely upend how we progress together as a species.
Some reasons why


Dating and Relating with Self-Love.
Gratitude Cafe Episode 149: Featuring Jonathon Aslay.
Dating & Relating with Self-Love. America’s Leading Mid-Life Dating Coach has expanded into a deeper, essential philosophy of what it truly means to LOVE. Learn more with dating expert, Jonathon Aslay.
After losing his 19-year-old son Connor in 2018, Jonathon Aslay’s grief led him on a soul-searching inner journey, where he became aware of an often-overlooked dimension of the dating conversation.
He realized that the process of dating reveals the most common emotional health issue faced by many singles seeking a partner: a distressing lack of self-worth, self-regard, and self-love.
Today, he is on a mission of encouraging both men and women to fully love themselves with a new book, “What The Heck Is Self-Love Anyway?“—packed with fun, engaging spiritual and personal growth practices—and his dynamic Mid-Life Love Mastery mentorship program, that inspires hundreds of people daily, around the world.
This was a fun and enlightening conversation with Jonathon about dating, conscious coupling and understanding men now.
We started the conversation with this core premise: How to cultivate a self-love practice that leads to a better relationship within and with others.
Listen to the full episode to learn:
- What does self-love look like?
- How do you find yourself again, after having lost yourself in a relationship?
- What is personal responsibility – and how does it play into the online dating space?
- Common mistakes women make when dating and in relationships.
- How shifting from “demand” to asking will actually help you “get” more of what you would like in your relationships.
- How ending the victimhood with dating and relationships can shift your dating & relationships on the deepest levels.
- …and much more!
GRAB YOUR FREE AUDIO:
5 Qualities Men Look For In A Soulmate
Subscribe to free videos on Jonathon’s YouTube Channel: youtube.com/user/JonathonAslay
Learn more about Jonathon’s Mid-Life Love Mastery Membership at:
Buy Jonathon’s book, What the Heck is Self-Love Anyway? on Amazon now.
ABOUT JONATHON ASLAY:
Jonathon Aslay is America’s leading mid-life dating coach helping women understand men and expand into a deeper, essential philosophy of what it truly means to LOVE.
Today, he is on a mission of encouraging both men and women to fully love themselves with a new book, “What The Heck Is Self-Love Anyway?”—packed with fun, engaging spiritual and personal growth practices—and his dynamic Mid-Life Love Mastery mentorship program, that inspires hundreds of people daily, around the world.
Jonathon has been a featured expert on ABC, NBC, Katie and CBS Radio. Learn more and explore valuable resources at JonathonAslay.com
*This post may contain affiliate links.
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When Men Tell Women That They Shouldn’t Compare Themselves To Other Women
It’s a funny time, when men put women down for saying they are not like other girls.
I agree, it’s not cute that a women that is putting down other women for being a “girly”, or liking typically “girly” activities or “girly” objects. When women tell a man they are different to other girls because they aren’t impressed by flowers, a teddy bear etc.
This does not in any way mean a man can turn around and put the women who is saying that down. I’m sorry, but there is enough expectations from men, on women that is harmful, and now because a women has told a man that they aren’t like other girls is being told that she is not cool. By a man.
To men: have you ever considered that maybe she just said these things to not compare herself to other women, but actually just because she does not like those things?
Just because a women has told you she does not like to go for fancy dinners, does not mean that she is comparing herself directly to these other women and subconsciously telling you she is better than them?
Maybe consider that. That a woman is not always trying to impress you. She can have her own thoughts and feelings on what she dislikes and appreciates. Please, take your narcissistic idea of every women talking to you is trying to impress you stance, and just look at the world in a different way.. for once.
It is true that there are times when a woman in particular is trying to gain compliments, self esteem by telling herself that she may be better than others based on her choices. Men do exactly the same thing. We are all humans, sometimes we just need a little bit of reassurance that we are doing ok in the world compared to others. Comparison is a natural instinct.
So please, men stop telling women to stop comparing themselves, we know you do it too.
The only reason women may be telling you that they enjoy something compared to other people/women are maybe just that she either feels exactly that way or is attempting to change the perception of her to you. So what?
Stop telling her that she should not, she can do whatever the hell she wants.
Again, MEN, imposing their views of how a women should conduct themselves onto us.
Also, women who put other women down, I am not cool with, but let them figure it out. Women should speak up to other women. So, also do better.


The historical role of interracial marriages has been the subject of much discussion in recent years. In 2016, Amma Asante’s beautiful film, A United Kingdom, introduced viewers to the romance between King Seretse Khama of Botswana and Ruth Williams, a white British woman, who met in the 1940s, fell in love and decided to get married, despite huge public outcry from their respective homelands. That very same year, we were also treated to Loving, Jeff Nichols’ take on the story of Richard and Mildred Loving, a US couple arrested for unlawful interracial marriage in the 1960s. The Lovings’ legal battle against the state of Virginia ultimately led to the invalidation of the laws prohibiting interracial nuptials.
Yet long before Khama and Williams’ royal romance and the Loving’s historic victory, there were other brave couples who dared to defy laws in their pursuit of love and happiness. While many such cases were recorded in the annals of history, it was not until the late 19th and early 20th centuries, that interracial marriages were visually documented. Frederic and Helen Pitts Douglas, Charles and Hester Meehan and Josephine Cogdell and George Schuyler were only but a few of the forward-thinking individuals who not only opted for a life together, despite society’s hostile attitudes, but also left photographic evidence of their happy marital lives.
Frederick and Helen Pitts Douglas
Frederick Douglas escaped slavery and rose to become one of the leading abolitionists of his time. An excellent orator and writer, he was an intellectual luminary and years ahead of his time. In 1884 Douglas married Hellen Pitts, a white suffragist and human rights fighter. Together, the couple took a stand against slavery and campaigned for women’s rights.
Here, Douglas is pictured with Helen (right) and her sister Eva (centre).
Charles and Hester Meehan
According to a family historian, the Meehans were childhood sweethearts, who met in 1864 when they were both eight years old. Their connection was so strong that they spent their whole lives together. Charles was allegedly so in love with Hester, that he could not even imagine marrying another woman and “spoiled her to the point that neighbors were jealous.” The couple married in Canada where interracial marriages were allowed by law. Later, they relocated to the US with their three children.
Josephine Cogdell and George Schuyler
Josephine Cogdell was an heiress of a rich Texan family. Although her ancestors had made much of their wealth by exploiting slave labor, Codgell was a firm believer in equality. She began an active correspondence with George Schuyler, a black left-wing journalist. Eventually, the two met face to face and married in 1928. Codgell described herself as “colored” in their marriage certificate, in order to avoid legal persecution.
Here, the couple is pictured with their daughter Philippa, a child prodigy, who later became a prolific musician and journalist.
For more beautiful historical photographs, immortalizing the many interracial couples who bravely fought to have their love accepted by society, click here.


Dirty Mind Games To Easily Get Your Ex Back! Here Is Something Not Many People KnowIf you want to get your girlfriend back when she is dating another guy then I'm going to try to hook you up here. I'm going to give you the same advice and help you as if you were one of my closest friends. I'm not going to give you a bunch of lame advice or point you in the wrong direction. You're tough. You can do this. You can get your girlfriend back even if she is dating another guy but it's not going to happen by sugar coating the issue. It's not going to happen if I'm not honest with you here.
"Can my husband love me again if it feels as though our marriage is over?" Is this a question you've been asking yourself as of late? When your marriage starts to unravel at the seams you may be too busy tending to day-to-day tasks to take notice. Many women don't even realize that their husband's feelings have changed until his suitcase is packed and he's asking for a divorce. If you are facing a future without your husband and it's tearing you apart inside there are things you can do to rebuild the escorts bcn so it's stronger than it's ever been.
He'll talk about his future without you in it. If he's recently taken to planning things without you or if he's making major life decisions without taking your opinion into account, that's not good. He doesn't see you as someone he'll be with long term and that's causing him to act and think independently.
People get married, then see ads on TV about dating services that promise you'll find the love of your life on their roster. You start telling yourself "Why didn't I wait?" Everyone more info was saying that the Atkins diet was the way to go. It took a long time for people to realize "Hey, wait a minute! That Atkins guy---he died!" Now Atkins is out and people are eating what they want again.
No longer do you have to see the person or have a place in common to start the path of dating. Now you can sign up for an online dating service and they help you find your special someone. Most sites have you fill out a questionnaire. You will answer some questions about yourself and what you are searching for in a date. The service helps match you with potential dates. You will also have a profile that will attract potential dates.
The problem that people have with this statement is that there are many free services to choose from as well. While there are pros and cons to both free and paid services, it is far from a waste of money. By paying for a dating service, you often times receive more features and will be more secure because of an enhanced screening of members.
The very first factor you need to do, you probably have heard before, and that's NOT to call him. The reason for this is easy, calling him over and over displays one trait, and that is desperation! In the event you just play it cool and kind of live your own life, you'll see that he is really the 1 that starts to come back to you!
Meg and I plan to meet in person very soon. Whether I'm blessed with true love once more or not, the service I used has given me hope. Most importantly, it has shown me there are people out there just like me.


Dear Fictional YA Boys,
I know you think your determination is suave, but it isn't. You know what I mean by "determination," don't you? When that beautiful female protagonist turns you down, and you just know she doesn't mean it. All her "no" means is that you must continue to pursue her, to wear her down, so that you can be happy together.
I mean, you just know what she wants better than she does, right?
Here's the thing: if you were in the real world, endlessly pursuing a girl after she has rejected you isn't romantic. It's contributing to rape culture. When you don't listen to a girl's "no," when you take away her power to choose, you take away her autonomy.
And those super "sexy" things you do, like press up against her when she's at her locker, or kiss her even when she doesn't want to, may work out for you in your fictional world. The girl's body responds, revealing her true inner desires that she can't admit to herself! But in real life, that's assault, and the girl isn't going to realize she has really wanted you all along. Instead she'll probably feel disturbed, unsafe, distraught- the list could go on and on.
It doesn't matter how much you smoulder while you "seduce" her or how romanticized it seems- in reality, it's still assault. And it's unacceptable.
So, Fictional YA Boys, stop this. I promise you, you can still be romantic and swoon-worthy without disrespecting others.


- What we mean is a couple who loves getting clicked together and loves recording all their memories. Then this gift is for you.
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Give the gift of a special experience
There are many occasions to treat someone. Surprise your loved ones, friends, relatives or even business partners with an extraordinary present and give the gift of a special experience. An individual gift voucher for the Aparthotels An der Frauenkirche guarantees an unforgettable time in the heart of the baroque centre of Dresden. You can choose the value of your gift voucher. The recipient can then decide when and on which Aparthotel they want to spend their voucher.
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Surprise your loved one with a weekend in Dresden. We’ll be happy to advise you on the value of the gift voucher for each specific establishment and will send this conveniently to your home. Then nothing will stand in the way of your romantic picnic.
Gift vouchers for special occasions
Whether it’s New Year, Christmas, Easter, a wedding day or a big birthday – you can plan and enjoy a visit to Dresden for any occasion. Give the recipient the gift of a voucher and they can snap up their apartment in time for the big event.


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Your Partner for Fundraising Growth
A single gift is nice, but a donor proves their value with the next gift, and the next. Donors are most valuable to you when they stand by you… when their support for you builds over time… when they increase the size of their gifts and bring along their friends to donate as well.
At Amergent, we specialize in making this happen for you through strategic communication. Since 1980, we have been helping clients turn their donors into friends for life and showing them how to turn their data on those friendships into a return on investment.
You cherish your donors, but you also need to work at the relationship. We can shoulder some of that work for you.


I love Berry College! I love it even more covered in snow. It is such a beautiful place!
Friday, January 14, 2011
I know it has been forever since Chris and I updated our blog. We promise to get better. So, here is the start of something new.....hopefully! :-)
Chris and I went to my parents for Christmas. We got to hang out with my sister Katie and her new husband Melvin. I say new husband but they really have been married for a year and a half now. This was the first time that the entire family was together, and it was so great getting to know Melvin and enjoy family time.
We then went to see Chris' family. We had a family dinner at his precious grandmother's, Grammy, house.
Posted by Christopher and Brittany at 1:30 PM


My Aunt Tina.
You have facilitated bonding, love, giving, and kindness in our family. In many ways, you were the glue in our family.
Everywhere I look, I see you. I see you in Lily Mae’s toy box, in her closet, in my stack of thank you cards and post cards from your many family trips.
I see you in my daughter’s crazy hair, energetic personality, and contagious laugh. I hope someday she is as selfless and classy as you. I hope I am too.
You were a woman of living by example, not just words. An example of not only how to live a godly and full life, but an example of how to pour into others. I forget to do that sometimes, but you never did.
Not only did you and Patrick pour into me continuously growing up through employing me (and of course dressing me in Mary Engelbreit scrubs for the job) and in more ways to mention, but by modeling an unshakable and unconditional love for each other and for your entire family.


Merits of Taking Relationship Tests Online
You may want to monitor the strength of your relationship status if you are on a committed relationship. You should know that relationships require a peaceful condition to relate with your partner. Having a peaceful relationship would enable you to have good well-being. It would be best if you put strategies to manage the direction of your relationship. You need to take a relationship test online to see how you are faring in your relationship. You need to be aware of the online relationship tests platforms that would enable you to evaluate your relationships. You should select platforms that would allow you to take the ideal tests online with your partner. the following are the merits of taking relationship tests online.
Taking relationship tests online is cost-effective and thus beneficial. If you take relationship tests online, you can be able to manage some of the disputes with your partner. If you take relationship tests online, you may avoid visiting a relationship counselor. You may need to pay relationship counselors for the services. You can take relationship tests online regularly without spending lots of money. You would only need a stable internet connection and an internet device to take a relationship test online.
You should note that with relationship tests online, you can interact with your partner effectively. Taking relationship tests online is beneficial because you can have a long-term relationship with your partner. Through the online tests, you can discover the root cause of disagreements and curb them effectively. With relationship tests online, you can be able to have the right relationship with your partner because they have no bias. If you took relationship tests online, you would have an ideal chance of having access to a range of activities that would boost the connection with your partner.
Taking relationship tests online is a good way of promoting a healthy and lasting relationship with your partner.


The couple were married in a traditional Catholic ceremony in the gothic-style sandstone Cardinal Cerretti Chapel on the grounds of the former St Patrick's Seminary.
It was the second wedding for Nicole Kidman. Her adopted children with former husband Tom Cruise attended the wedding with daughter Isabella, 13, acting as bridesmaid and son Connor, 11, usher.
Sydney newspapers said about 230 family and friends including Naomi Watts, Hugh Jackman with his wife Deborra-Lee Furness, director Baz Luhrmann, Russell Crowe, News Corporation chairman and chief executive Rupert Murdoch and his wife Wendi Deng, and Lachlan and Sarah Murdoch attended the service which was presided over by Father Paul Coleman, a long-time Kidman family friend.
Hugh Jackman sang Peter Allen's Tenterfield Saddler, Neil Finn sang the Crowded House song Fall at Your Feet, while Urban himself serenaded Kidman with one of his own songs, Making Memories of Us, which ends with the lyrics:
And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust makin' memories of us.
The pealing of wedding bells at 6.25pm signalled the couple had become husband and wife.
The couple issued an official portrait, along with a brief statement: "We just want to thank everyone in Australia and around the world who have sent us their warm wishes."
The couple honeymooned in Tahiti.


Spouse of a U.S. Citizen
If you are a U.S. citizen married to a non-U.S. citizen and want to sponsor him or her for a U.S. green card, you and your spouse will have to go through a lengthy application and interview process. One of the main factors in achieving a marriage-based visa is proving that the marriage is not simply a means for getting a green card. The process can be intimidating, but the New Jersey immigration attorneys at LS&P Lawyers can help you understand the options available to you and your spouse. Please do not hesitate to contact us online or by dialing (844) 288-7978 to learn more. Our legal team has helped numerous clients navigate the full spectrum of immigration application issues and we can help you overcome any challenges that threaten to keep you and your spouse apart.What is the Immigration Procedure for Non-U.S. Citizen Spouses?
The application process will depend on whether your spouse is already in the U.S. or still residing abroad. If the spouse is already in the U.S., the U.S. citizen can file a petition on behalf of his or her spouse by filing an immigrant petition (Form I-130) and at the same time, the non-U.S. citizen spouse can file an adjustment of status application (Form I-485) to get his or her green card. However, if the foreign spouse entered the U.S. without inspection, he or she may have to file for a provisional waiver and get the immigrant visa abroad to complete the immigrant visa process.
If the spouse is outside the U.S., the foreign citizen spouse will wait for the Form I-130 to be approved and then attend an interview at the U.S. consulate in his or her country. It may be possible to apply for a K-3 visa for the foreign citizen spouse to allow him or her to enter the US while the Form I-130 is pending approval.
To learn more about which immigration procedure applies to your situation, please consult with a knowledgeable immigration lawyer at LS&P Lawyers before submitting any paperwork to U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS).What is Conditional Permanent Residence?
If you and your spouse have been married for less than two years by the time your spouse receives permanent residency, this status will be granted on a conditional basis for two years. The couple must stay married for at least two years. The USCIS places this condition on newlyweds to safeguard against attempts to enter into marriages solely for the sake of seeking immigration benefits. If the marriage is dissolved through divorce or death of the U.S. citizen spouse, the conditional resident can file a waiver.
You will be able to apply for a removal of conditions within 90 days before your second anniversary as a conditional resident. This means that you and your spouse will have lived together as a married couple for at least two years.
If you and your spouse fail to apply for the removal of conditions or the application to remove the conditions on your spouse’s permanent residence is denied, the process of removal will begin. You will have a limited time in which to act and it is crucial to have a skilled immigration attorney defend your case.How can You Prove a Marriage is Legitimate?
In order to qualify for a marriage-based visa, the couple must be legally married and provide a copy of the marriage certificate. It does not matter whether the couple marries within the U.S. or abroad, as long as the marriage is legally recognized in the country where it took place. Proving that the relationship is legitimate, on the other hand, is a little more complicated. If the married couple is financially and emotionally invested in the relationship, there will be various types of evidence, such as joint bank accounts, joint tax returns, a co-signed lease agreement, children’s birth certificates, love letters, and photos of the wedding and other important events in their relationship.
The USCIS will interview the spouses, and sometimes family members and friends about the marriage, in order to determine whether it is a legitimate marriage. If the marriage appears to be fraudulent, the application will be denied and both the U.S. citizen and intending immigrant may face criminal punishment.Successful Marriage-Based Immigration Attorneys
At LS&P Lawyers, our knowledgeable and understanding immigration lawyers have helped countless clients successfully obtain green cards for their foreign citizen spouses. We work closely with each and every client to determine how best to meet their legal needs. To learn more about marriage-based immigration and your options for bringing your spouse to live and work in the U.S. permanently, call us at (844) 288-7978 or submit a contact form online. We can help you begin the application process and work with you from start to finish.


I have an elderly friend who is a little difficult. I have struggled with her for the last two years in particular. She has cared for me at really dark periods and been here, a fixture in Santa Fe, for me. She can also be blunt, judgmental and plain rude. As a mother figure, I worry she judges me and I judge her for it.
Today, we were talking (well, I was talking) about something that has been bothering me for a few days (weeks, really my whole life–I was talking about my PARENTS.) I finished talking about it, and then somehow brought the conversation back to it.
She said, “Alma, we already covered that. Enough.”
I am a very sensitive person. I get my feelings hurt easily and often, generally by people I love and also by cashiers and random people on the street. I often want to cry. Years ago, I learned that most of what people do is not about me. In this relationship, it’s a lot harder to believe it’s not about me. Since I was talking about my family, people she knows, and I was vulnerable, the axe fell extra hard. I seethed when she asked me, “So how’s work?”
I like to talk about myself, though, so we moved on. I told her about work. However, I felt incredibly self-conscious, worried that she talked to all her friends about what a spoiled brat I was, and if I had made some grave mistake in the “friendships with grumpy old ladies” arena. I was angry.
I finished my tea and asked in a very roundabout way if she was judging me for what I had been talking about. She didn’t give me an answer, she just said, “I knew I had struck your ire.”
You mean my FEELINGS? YES, YOU STRUCK THOSE. “When you say things like that to me, it makes me feel self-conscious.” I swallowed a knot in my throat and then asked, “Can we do it so we see each other less often, so then we can talk more about us and I’m less tempted to talk about my family?”
“We can see each other every other week.”
“That’s how much we’ve been seeing each other.”
“Yes, that works for me.” She said it like it was a new concept, this seeing each other every other week thing, and I wasn’t suggesting we see each other exactly once a month or less.”
When you talk to me that way, I feel like you don’t accept me.” My eyes were watering and I felt like I looked the way my mother does at emotional places in movies.
Then she said, “Maybe instead of getting me to accept you, you should work on accepting me?”
There have been other times where I have felt like I was burning in the Seventh Circle of Hell because I was so worried someone didn’t accept me. I never thought it was a matter of me accepting them, including all the ways they might make me worry I am not accepted, only to realize they are not accepting themselves, just like me.
The whole Boundaries conversation has been irking me for a while now, mainly because it is impossible to operate in this world as a perfect person. It is also impossible to make friends with a perfect person. I have felt like I wanted to distance myself from my friend, but that bothered me because that made me feel like I had gotten what I needed from her and now that our friendship required me showing up for friendship’s sake, I wanted to skip town. Young people are like that–I have been abandoned by a lot of people like me. Old people can be mean in other ways.
I’m not saying that if you have a problematic person in your life you should let them walk on you. If you’re in a violent relationship by all accounts leave. Just consider the idea that it’s not personal, you’re not a victim, and you have lessons to learn yourself. Even if it’s just not to treat yourself the way they treat you that you hate so much. Because I would be willing to bet, most of the time, we treat ourselves worse than anybody else does.


There are many techniques for men to find a wife and a woman, and each has its own positive aspects. For instance, some males spend years looking for an ideal woman to marry, whilst some take years. Regardless of your situation, God wants to provide you with the perfect partner. But how will you find a girl who matches your needs? Faith, and being affected person while you search for the right person, are major. These are just a couple of ways to discover a wife.
Trying to find a wife could be challenging, nonetheless it doesn’t have to be. The best way to start the process is to search for old close friends and acquaintances from your earlier childhood days. Try to reconnect with them over a prevalent interest. For example , if you enjoy spending some time hot korean woman with cats, you can try looking up ancient acquaintances by local community happenings. If you’re not sure who your potential matches are, you can always meet them for caffeine. If you have a shared record, you might be capable of finding a woman whoms the perfect partner for you.
If you’re a mature man buying a wife, you should look for a newer woman. According to a analysis published in the European Journal of Functional Research, males with a young wife got the highest probabilities of finding their true love. If you’re a new man, consider https://www.thegoodtrade.com/features/long-distance-relationship-advice joining weddings and dancing with single women. They may just be planning on their romance status, or perhaps they’ll be interested in learning how most likely meeting these people.


The average marriage is not built on a foundation of love and trust, and many couples struggle to find the balance between the two.
But some of the best advice we can give to couples on how to make the most of a broken relationship comes from an unlikely source.
When you’ve been together for a long time, there’s a certain amount of trust built in between you.
This is often the case for couples who have shared an apartment, shared a house, and had a baby.
In fact, research shows that the number of times a couple spends time together is linked to how likely they are to be in a long-term relationship.
But if you’ve never been together before, there are some key things you can do to help you feel more secure.1.
Choose Your Partners First When it comes to choosing a partner, choose your friends first.
According to a study by the National Center for Family and Marriage Research, it’s the people you spend the most time with that you can trust the most.
If you want to make a relationship work, it helps to start with people you have been close with, and who share similar interests.2.
Create Your Own Goals and Plan for the Future When you get to know your new partners, set goals for them and make them a part of your daily life.
Goals should be clear and achievable.
The best advice for setting goals is to create a list of goals that are achievable, that you will work toward, and that you’ll work toward with a partner.3.
Set A Date For The Start of Your Relationship If you have children, it makes sense to set a date to meet and get to have children together.
If your relationship has been together a long, long time you might want to meet with your partner and discuss how you can meet your goals.4.
Keep Things Going After You’ve Started Dating If you haven’t started dating yet, make sure you take the time to set up a regular schedule.
For example, you might have a date night and then a date for dinner.
Then you might go to the gym together, then have a walk to the beach, or maybe even go for a run.
You can also make a point to do more casual activities together and do them more often, like going to a movie or getting together for an evening out.5.
Know Your Limits Your partner should also know your limits, and be aware of them.
A few key things to consider are: What are your expectations of each other?
Are you comfortable around your partners expectations?
Are they comfortable around yours?
Are there any limits you have set that you don’t think are realistic?6.
Learn About Your Friends As well as your new partner, learn about who your friends are, and where they live.
These may include your friends’ job and their friends, and your social circle.
If possible, invite your friends to your new relationship.7.
Create a Plan for Each Relationship Relationship This is the most important part of a relationship, but it’s also the most challenging.
It’s important that you make an agreement to do everything possible to make it work.
If a couple doesn’t make an arrangement, there may be an issue with trust.
A common mistake is for a new couple to expect each other to just get along.
This can be a very difficult time to begin a relationship.
The first thing you should do is talk about your expectations.
If the two of you don of an agreement, then the first thing to do is work out what you both want.
Make sure that you know how you want things to go.
For instance, if you both are in the same town, or if you are on the same dates.
The same rules apply.
If both are on your school bus, make it clear what you want and don’t want.
It may also help to discuss what your expectations are for your time together, such as how long you want it to last.
If one of you doesn’t want to work out your expectations, then you need to make an effort to get together with your friends so you can discuss your expectations and find a plan.8.
Make Your Commitments Your Commitment to each other is a big deal, and you need it to work.
You should make it a point in your plan to keep a commitment.
For a lot of people, their first commitment is to get married, and it’s easy to feel rushed into things.
But make it one of your most important commitments, and this can lead to a more stable relationship.9.
Be Flexible and Ask for Extensions If you are in a relationship where one partner can’t do everything, you may want to ask for a change in schedule or schedule extensions.
If that’s the case, then try asking for something else.
This may mean talking about the possibility of moving out, or giving up your home and moving to a new place, or even moving to another city.10.
Find a New Partner If you aren’t able to have kids together, consider having


I also felt out of place celebrating Christmas or Easter with them. It took me most of my 20’s to realize I should focus on dating people in my faith. You learn how to differentiate what you want, by testing out questions and conversation starters. Now I have go to questions that help me quickly learn the basics about how someone invests their time, whether they have friends and lasting relationships, what their priorities are, etc. You learn to question and converse with a purpose. I think it’s a bit of both, but I did get better at it. Once you go on a lot of online dates, you begin to develop a format and that instilled some comfort/confidence for me.
Get into real conversations with people, ask them about their lives, and tell them about yours. Authenticity and vulnerability are what will help you form real relationships. When you message someone for the first time, don’t just say, “Hi” or, “Hey, what’s up?” Make it engaging! Show that you’ve read their profile by commenting on something they’ve written or about a specific photo of theirs, or better yet, ask a question based on it. You can also ask something specific about shared collective experiences—an upcoming holiday, the unpredictability of the pandemic, or something specific to your city. Kelly Gonsalves is a sex educator, relationship coach, and journalist.
Unlike FWB and hookup situations, casual dating generally operates with relationship-like parameters, even if they’re loosely defined. People often date seriously in the hopes of finding a partner to settle down with long-term. There’s no relationship “cruise control.” Good relationship skills are a must, even for the most compatible couple. Some people will tell you what they think you want to hear, when in fact, they don’t hold the beliefs they profess, and have no intention of following through on anything they promise.
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She was in her early 30s at the time, and wanted to be a mom more than almost anything, so her rules made sense. Much older men would likely have enough children already, and since she was certain she wanted a family, any man who didn’t just wouldn’t work. She was saving both herself and the men from wasting time on something that was going nowhere. 2) The right person at the wrong time isn’t the right person.
Just keep meeting up if you want to keep getting to know someone, and eventually things will unfold one way or another. It is so hard but worth it since there ARE good people out there to date. As for the men looking for women of a particular weight or with a certain hair color, it don’t seem to me like they would be especially good partners. Everyone has preferences, but to be so outspoken about them from the start shows they could be looking for superficial and not “real” connection. And we all know that weight and hair color can change over time.
Here are 17 great dating tips that will make you instantly more attractive and make your chances of landing that second date much more likely. After all, you could be about to meet your future soulmate. When you think about it, the Law of Fuck Yes or No is actually a byproduct of everything we’ve covered so far. Non-needy people who take care of themselves and communicate honestly don’t have time for people who play games or are wishy-washy about being with them.
How To French Kiss: 9 Sex Therapist
A common mistake in relationships is trying to change your partner or hoping that your relationship will get better. Sometimes it takes time to realize that they’re not a fit, but don’t prolong the situation. You don’t want to wake up one day regretting that you never had the courage to be honest with yourself. Similar to the advice of world-class investors, you want to diversify your portfolio and minimize your risk of catastrophic failure. A way of doing that is by going on dates that aren’t just sit-down dinners, so that no matter how your dating partner behaves, at least you’ll have a good time doing something fun. My general recommendation for moving from online to in real life is either one long conversation or two short conversations.
If she responds positively and says yes then tell her you’ll call her and by god make sure you follow up with it. I know in films they always leave it a couple of days, some even say three days is the perfect window before contact… but then again this is real life. I’m not saying never have serious conversations. Just in the early stages of dating, be a bit more relaxed, laugh and talk about positive things, just have some fun. “You should prioritise your own self-care and that might mean acknowledging when you’re burnt out,” says Ury.
- There’s a whole culture around dating apps that might take some time for you to adjust to, and if you haven’t dated in a while, dating itself is a process that takes some time to warm and ease into.
- This held true for me, but is also supported by some academic research .
- It felt so weird and novel to meet someone online, and lots of people were really embarrassed by it back then.
- A person who is happy and confident will want to show off their face, and will be more likely to be a positive influence in your life!
- Just keep meeting up if you want to keep getting to know someone, and eventually things will unfold one way or another.
- If he’s trying to pressure you into have sex without a condom because “condoms feel shit” – the sex is going to be terrible.
As I got better at optimizing my profile, I started matching with more and more people. This gave me the opportunity to start testing different conversation openers and see patterns that I simply wouldn’t have been able to see if I didn’t have a high match rate. “You should message me if…” ← This is OkCupid’s sub-heading but you can just manually add it on other online dating apps too. After some awkward conversation, she explained that her friends were sick of her being single so they had dressed her up to be “cuter” for the party to attract a guy. But, when it comes to online dating, guys tend to slap a few pictures on their profile and then begin swiping like orangutans until their fingers develop calluses.
That doesn’t mean you need to immediately jump into an exclusive commitment; it just means talking openly about why you’re spending time together and how you each see the relationship progressing. If you’re mostly looking for fun and laughs, a short and witty profile might be perfect. Say the virtual meetings have gone well and you’ve mutually decided that it’s time to meet in person. Before this meeting occurs, set some ground rules on how you will interact. It can be very problematic if you go into the first meeting with very different expectations. After all, if you are thinking “stay at least six feet apart at all times” and the other person is thinking “have wild unbridled sex,” things may be quite awkward when you finally do meet.
Are they really that over-scheduled, or are they using it as a distancing technique? You’ll need time to see if things just never really settle down, they’re not truly available, and you’ll be left hanging more often than not. He could still date attractive women, but he needed to look for qualities that would keep his interest, things more https://www.topolinedatingsites.com/how-to-lose-a-girl-in-6-ways-in-part-one/ substantive and sustainable than looks. He’s still in the process, having fun, and meeting lots of interesting women. Though he hasn’t met his one-and-only yet, many of them have become good friends. Take my client who’d been married or cohabitating with a series of women his entire adult life, not having any idea why none of them stuck.
It saps your energy, causes health issues,6 and generally makes you a dick to be around. So if this describes you, it’s time to get real about your finances. Money is a major source of stress for a lot of people. It can be so stressful, in fact, that most people end up ignoring a lot of their financial problems altogether.


Mrs. Parker is a fictional character in the Friday film series. She is portrayed by Kathleen Bradley.She is only seen in the first Friday film. She is lusted by the men of the neighborhood for they all love to look at her watering her grass and all have sexual desires. Craig and Smokey stare while is watering her grass, smokey admitting that he wants to have sex with her. She is eventually caught cheating on her husband (revealed to be a little person) with Pastor Clever.


My Grandma’s birthday falls on today’s date. She passed away but is alive every time I think of her words sown into my life and every time my parents, aunt and granpa and I talk about her.
My grandparents have been the greatest testimony of a good marriage, of love that is more than a feeling, a love that was displayed in their faithfulness, their commitment, their care for each other and true unity. I would not have known if they disagreed on something, because us kids never got to see that. In front of us, they were speaking with one voice.
My other grandma advised me 10 years ago that it is important to have conversations about how to raise kids, what decisions to make about money, education, etc. should happen behind closed doors and then followed through the way they were agreed between the two spouses. What great advice! I sincerely hope, I will not forget this passed-on wisdom and use it to the benefit of my marriage and kids one day.
Grandparents and parents have such power in the lives of their kids and leave such a large heritage with a little seed sown into our lives through a conversation. I pray for parents to be aware of the power of their roles and for children to cherish wisdom and take every opportunity they can get to listen and learn from their human parents and from our Heavenly Father. The love that is passed on through shared wisdom is truly more precious than rubies! I would not exchange it, nor the memory of my grandma, with anything.
Call me blessed, I truly am.
Counting my blessings…still counting….!


Compassionate Language (Nonviolent Communication)- a practice to support peace within yourself so as to speak and listen in ways that lead to connection and understanding.
IS THIS FOR YOU?
See if any of these situations sound familiar. You long for life to serve all beings - you want to change the world where life is better for everyone. · You really want to have fewer misunderstandings, especially with the people who are close to you, yet it keeps happening and you revert to old habits of reaction and/or argument or shutdown. You believe in acting in accordance with the Golden Rule – do unto others as you would have done unto you, or some version of that, yet you don’t have a way to express yourself or listen that is in alignment of this caring value, especially during more heated conversations. · You are tired of having the constant “tape” inside your head filled with self-judgment and criticism either inward towards yourself or out to others. Maybe you’re tired of feeling angry and irritated and having that be the only thing that comes out of your mouth, you want more joy. Or you find that the constant judgment of yourself isn’t actually motivating you to change, it’s hindering you from being all you can be. · You long for your family to get along better, but are unsure how to get there. Or you long for ways everyone can get a long better, not only at an interpersonal level but at a systemic level. You wish you knew how to be heard by your children and have them know how much you love them and want them to be ok, yet your kids only hear your judgment and “micromanaging” as a sign they aren’t good enough. You’re afraid that you’re losing your close bond. Or you want to be able to understand where they’re coming from, especially when they speak or act intensely. · Maybe you’d really like to be heard when you’re upset and all you get back is consoling or advice that doesn’t really help you feel heard. · And you’d like to know how to support your loved ones when they’re upset rather than have them say back “you don’t understand!” after you’ve offered advice or a solution. · You long for deeper connection to understand yourself and others. · You can’t stand conflict and either run away from it, avoid it or say nothing. Or you can’t stand conflict, yet you find yourself yelling and arguing to protect yourself, and you don’t know any other way to act. · You have a “good” relationship with your partner but you don’t have the type of connection you’d like. Maybe you end up snapping at each other for seemingly small things and can’t get past old patterns of interaction. You long to have a very close, authentic relationship with your partner and you aren’t sure how to ask for what you’re wanting or how to listen to your partner when they are saying or doing things you don’t enjoy. Or even how to support your partner. You want to act for climate and social justice and you're not sure how to do it nonviolently.


Among the most traditional and enjoyable of the County Clerk's duties is the performance of marriage ceremonies. Couples interested in having the County Clerk officiate at their ceremony must have a valid marriage license.
For more information or to make an appointment call (201) 336-7006.
Couples may apply for a marriage license in the town where either spouse resides. If neither spouse is a resident of New Jersey, then the couple should apply for the license in the town where the marriage will take place. Since most towns handle marriage licenses through their Health Department, please contact the department in the appropriate town to determine what documentation you will need to bring with you when applying of your license.


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Engage in Marriage (DVD Set)
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Let's be honest. Marriage is hard, it is work, it can be discouraging, and at times, we feel hopeless. During this series, Pete Briscoe, senior pastor at the time of filming, exposes the lies about marriage that our culture and our friends are buying into and shares lessons that God used to revive his marriage. Pete also shares what he calls the most important thing he's ever learned concerning marriage–how to work through the various issues that arise in a healthy biblical way.


Making your wife love you again can be a daunting challenge, but it’s important to remember that it’s achievable. By understanding the reasons why she doesn’t love you anymore, identifying the problems in your relationship, taking responsibility for your actions, and showing your wife that you care, you can take meaningful steps towards rebuilding the connection and restoring the love in your marriage. You can also take small steps to show her that you care, such as sending her a handwritten note or surprising her with an unexpected gift. Finally, be open to communication and compromise, and be willing to put in the effort to make your wife happy. Show your appreciation for her by giving her the time and attention she needs. Show her that you value her opinion and take her suggestions into consideration. Finally, be sure to show her how much you care by expressing it openly and honestly.
One of the keys to making your wife love you again is improving your communication. This means actively listening to her when she speaks, truly understanding her feelings and needs, and expressing your own feelings and needs in a calm, non-confrontational manner. You should also be willing to compromise and work together to resolve any issues that come up. Show your wife that you are willing to work on her relationship and that you are open to honest discussion. Finally, be respectful of her opinion and be open and honest about your own.
When your wife doesn’t feel heard and understood, it’s only natural that she may lose affection and respect for you as a husband. Take the time to actively listen to her, without interruptions or distractions. Make eye contact, maintain open body language, and ask questions to show your genuine interest in what she has to say. Acknowledge her feelings and let her know that you understand her. Acknowledge her point of view and tell her that you value her opinion. Lastly, apologize for any mistakes you have made and work together to find a solution.
In addition to listening, it’s important to express your own feelings and needs. Be open and honest about how you’re feeling, but avoid blaming or accusing your wife. Focus on finding a solution together, rather than placing blame. Listen to your wife’s perspective and compromise if necessary. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from family and friends if you need it. Finally, be sure to show appreciation for your wife’s efforts.
Resolving conflicts in a healthy way is another important aspect of communication. Instead of resorting to yelling or stonewalling, try to approach conflicts with an open mind and a willingness to compromise. Practice healthy conflict resolution techniques such as active listening, empathy, and understanding. Respect each other’s feelings and opinions, and focus on finding a solution that benefits both parties. Give each other the opportunity to be heard and work together to find a solution that everyone is comfortable with.
Working on the relationship
Making your wife love you again requires a commitment to actively working on the relationship. This involves setting realistic goals, taking steps to rebuild the trust, and working on self-improvement. Express your feelings openly and honestly, and be open to communication. Spend time together doing things you both enjoy, and try to resolve any conflicts in a constructive way. Finally, remember to be respectful of your wife and to listen to her.
Setting realistic goals is crucial for making progress in your marriage. Instead of expecting immediate results, focus on taking small, achievable steps towards repairing your relationship. This could include scheduling regular date nights, practicing gratitude, or seeking couples therapy. Setbacks are inevitable, but it’s important to stay positive and recognize your successes. Acknowledge your partner’s efforts and work together to reach your goals. Celebrate your successes and continue to grow your relationship.
Rebuilding trust after a breach of trust is crucial in making your wife love you again. Acknowledge your mistakes and show her that you’re committed to changing for the better. Be open and transparent about your actions and intentions, and avoid repeating the same mistakes. Apologize for your actions and show her that you understand the gravity of the situation. Show her that she’s important to you, and that you trust her again. Finally, give her the space and time she needs to heal and move on.
Improving yourself on a personal level is another vital aspect of working on your relationship. Take time to reflect on your own actions and identify any areas for growth. Seek out help if needed, whether it’s through counseling, books, or online educational resources. Set realistic goals for yourself and strive to achieve them. Monitor your progress and adjust your goals as needed. Finally, don’t forget to show appreciation for the support and effort your partner puts in.
By focusing on these key areas, you can take meaningful steps towards making your wife love you again. Remember, it takes patience and commitment, but with love, understanding, and determination, you can create a strong foundation for a healthy and loving marriage. Show her that you still care and that you are willing to make the necessary changes to rebuild the trust. Give her the time and space she needs to process her feelings and come back to you. With dedication and effort, you can overcome any obstacle and rebuild your marriage. Show her that you are willing to listen to her and that you care about her feelings. Apologize for any mistakes you have made and show that you are willing to make amends. Acknowledge her fears and insecurities and let her know that you are committed to putting the past behind you and creating a better future. Take things one step at a time. Start by giving her the time and space she needs, then focus on rebuilding trust and open communication. Consistency and patience will be key in the process of rebuilding your marriage.


A horse that acts up can be frustrating. His antics prevent you from doing what you want to do, and sometimes things get dangerous. You want a relationship based on mutual trust and respect. Yet you also want to have plain fun, galloping your horse through the meadows or doing patterns in the arena. It can be frustrating when the horse says 'no', especially when your values are on the empathic, compassionate side and you aim for collaboration, not dictatorship.


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This is because we are industrious lovers, generally boast tons of charisma and gallantry, and we would certainly do everything to get the woman we like or love.
German men are just, you know, different. So, when my friend Moritz broke up with a hot Brazilian a few months ago, I was expecting him to roll off his tongue for 2 hours on how bad he felt.
But in summary, as flirting Latin guy already engaged to a beautiful German woman, I wish things in Colombia had been easier for me and my comrades when it came down to love and dating; that is, having a straightforward approach like my friend Johannes at the Karneval der Kulturen. Or maybe not. Wir haben uns für Monate gesehen und die Zeit genossen. Es war sehr romantisch, aber wir blieben tolle Freunde und kommen immer noch zum Abendessen, trinken und lachen zusammen.
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- But in a cultural moment in which winning the final rose seems to have replaced celebrating the golden anniversary as an aspiration, many people have bought into the eHarmony message that marriage will be all connubial bliss—no hard work necessary—if only they find the perfect person, says Diane Sollee, founder and director of the Coalition for Marriage, Family, and Couples Education.
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Online dating websites and apps have changed how the new gen meets new people. You will find lots of dating profiles to choose from, you have to up your game and stay careful regarding how you portray yourself on the wealthy people dating site.
You must have a careful look at your online dating profile. Sculpt your profile just like your own painting. Put out your personality, the real you together with what do you need; Your profile will be the window to the chances of you scoring the guy of your own dreams with an internet dating profile.
What most men want to know from a woman’s online dating profile?
Photographs and profile decoration is currently also being provided being a service by professionals. Internet dating profile writing is really a legit service where professionals analyze your goal and optimize your profile to bring in the appropriate traction. You will find different qualities within an online profile that guys look for. Here’s a breakdown of the items matters most to men.
Photos are the first thing men examine with an dating online profile. Do not use filters, keep the face visible, don’t add group photos, not duets! Show your positive side. A snap to your personality -while cycling or simply outside with your dog.
Self Summary regarding your life -work, education, interests -exactly what are you into, etc. Attributes which help us picture you must. Men weigh our likings and choose to message you or skip your profile!
Men are trying to find healthy women
Truth be told, women using the word CrossFit in their profiles are 39% more prone to get messaged than the average girl. Just showing which you care for the body, and you’ll probably end up meeting a man who also puts plenty of effort into staying fit and healthy himself.
Men are searching for honest women
When we go on a date having a woman that people met online, and it starts such as this… wait one minute, what age are you currently again? Umm, 29. Then he probably won’t be into you because you’re lying and you have a beard.
Please, women and men alike, be open and honest about your age, about what it is that you want, regarding your life, so you do end up meeting the best match. Not for the short term, but in the end because every single time you lie, you’re setting yourself up for the absolute dating disaster.
Finding Common Ground
Your interests, movies, music, places you want, several things in common that people can interact with you, having more specific things will help us pick common things and speak about that.
Do you volunteer? a caring heart as well as a kind soul is attractive in itself.
Inform us everything you enjoy doing so we could find some common ground, or you can inform us much more about your talents! Mention your hometown, you will never know if your dream guy is from exactly the same town!
Guys love girls with a sense of humor, adventurous, nerdy, or perhaps a simple girl next door, we like the profile that people can seem to be appropriate for then approach.
Like watching Star wars or When Harry met Sally, place it out if you like metal or pop, are you currently an outside person -display your likes & dislikes, interests, and thoughts! Don’t pretend you’re something you’re klpgce or you’ll attract the incorrect men. It may sound shallow.
The key to meeting men on the web and writing a great dating profile is to keep it simplistic. We would like to see everything you appear to be, we would like to know you’re fun to hang out with, and we want to know you’re not going to mother us or break our balls. Nearly all women I’ve seen lately try to sell themselves excessive inside their profiles. Remember, guys will become familiar with you once you begin to speak to them. The profile is all about giving us adequate to need to learn more about you. The simpler you retain it, the better man-friendly your web profile is.


Love on the Lift
Find out if love is in the mountain air.
Lift #1 features two lift lines for singles guests. Individuals from each line will pair up for the chairlift ride and see if sparks fly. Pairs can continue getting to know each other over dinner in the lodge.


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Hi, I'm Tyson and I'm Chris and together we are
Our Pure Family
We are so happy you've found us!
We met in 1991 and fell head over heels in love and have been inseparable from that moment on.
We both knew that we had met our soul mate!
We got married in 1993 and have 3 amazing kids.
When we were told in 2012 that Tyson had 6 months to live we knew that was not how our love story would end! And it didn't, instead, we have gone ahead to live our healthiest lives and have made it our life's mission to help others who've found themselves in a similar situation.
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The bottom line is that your boyfriend has to help himself, you can’t make him and he doesn’t sound ready, able or willing to change his life. We can offer the people we love support and encouragement, but not at the cost of our own quality of life. Hopefully, he will realize that his choices have consequences that are no fun—like being in court and losing your girlfriend. At some point, hopefully, he will realize that when he makes new choices, he will get different results.
While you can’t stand to watch your boyfriend ruin his life with his choices, I bet your family can’t stand to watch you ruin your life with your choices. You are seeing clearly how hanging out with the wrong people is having a negative impact on your boyfriend, but are you seeing what it is doing to you? Ironically, you are sending a mixed message to your boyfriend when you are telling him he shouldn’t hang out with people who are doing drugs and breaking the law, while you, yourself, are hanging out with someone who is doing drugs and breaking the law. I would hope for you that you develop the same concern over your own life that you have for his.
Ask yourself what you want for your life and what you are willing to do about it. I am sure you see your boyfriend’s great qualities, but how is being in a relationship like this effecting you? Is this relationship dragging you down, or lifting you up? Is this relationship supporting your life or hindering it?
Remember, what you see is what you get. If what you are getting is what you want in your life—drama, fear, confusion—hang in there. If instead, you want is a healthy relationship that is supportive of a healthy future, consider telling your boyfriend that you care about him too much to simply watch him ruin his life and you care about your own life too much to allow his choices to impact you this way. Focus on strengthening your self-esteem so that you know what you are worth and what you want. Then, only involve yourself in situations that support your goals.
I wish you the very best.
Intellectual Foreplay Question of the Week:
Are your actions an example of your words?
Love Tip of the Week:
You can never clean up someone else’s act, only your own. People don’t learn from what we say, they learn from what we do.
Eve Hogan, author of How to Love Your Marriage, Intellectual Foreplay, Virtual Foreplay, and Way of the Winding Path, is also the proprietor of The Sacred Garden, a nursery and healing sanctuary in Makawao. It is open 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily. For coaching or speaking events, call (808) 573-7700. Website: www.EveHogan.com Blog: www.AskEveAdvice.com. Send questions to AskEveAdvice@aol.com.


Gabre and Lisa:
Who would have told me that the boy who lived 10 minutes away from my hometown would be my husband today. The teenage boy who would come to my house parties, visit my brothers, and a best friend of a family friend would be Lisa’s husband of 18 years today! How did we choose each other? It’s a long journey but these were the initial signs, the signs that made me fall in love with my husband! My love destiny!
Home: It was one Sunday afternoon, the day after my daughter’s 4th birthday, when I first saw him. I love the beach, I grew up going to the beach on Sundays after breakfast. So the beach is my spot, and it was were I met him. Sitting alone drinking a Red Stripe beer & ordering his Escovitch fish with festival! Yep, you guessed right..I grew up on the beautiful island of Jamaica! He reminds me of my roots.. he is my home.
Confident: Hmmm… I thought a man who has no problems being with himself. I told my girlfriend that I’ve never seen that before. He must be waiting for someone. But no he’s really eating by and with himself. Great quality! We didn’t exchange words but we exchanged glances! He too noticed me and my daughter. Today, he’s still okay with being by himself to reflect, reminisce, and recharge. He loves himself!
Helpful: So my best friend, her son, my daughter and I, were leaving and he said as we walked by (my daughter on my hips & a beach bag on my shoulder), “Do you need some help?” “Sure!” I said as I kept walking. Which is really who I am..the girl who needs help but does her thing anyway. He’s still kind and helpful to so many. He’s my superhero!
Persistence: Of course he was all we talked about as we drove home. However, I didn’t expect to hear from him because we did not exchanged numbers, and I had a daughter. Yep, I didn’t think that I would be dating anyone seriously after already having a child from a previous relationship. That night the phone rang ( house phone), it was him. He had gotten my number from a mutual friend of both of ours, a friend who we both considered another brother, a friend that sealed the deal, a friend that became our daughter’s godfather, a friend who was in our wedding party, a friend who was gone too soon. My husband purses me weekly, and he wins me over every time.
Driven: We went on a date the next day, then the next, then the next..We were inseparable. We talked, laughed, partied, and became really great friends within a really short space of time. He had dreams and high expectations of himself. He was already an entrepreneur and wanted to grow his business. He has been a business owner ever since he was 16 years old he told me. Today he… we are continuing the journey to fulfill his life long dream very soon.
Loyalty: We found out that we both had strong ties to our family. That we both loved our moms and had the utmost respect for our dads. Our siblings were just as important so it was very imperative that we met each other’s family. It turned out that he was already a friend of my brothers’ and that his brother was a friend of my sister’s. So that made it so easy when we had to share the news of our pregnancy. This was his first child, we were not together long enough for some but we felt as though it was meant to be. He was already showing how much of a great dad he would be with how he treated my daughter. Most everyone in our families were happy and for those who weren’t, we didn’t care. He was going to take care of his responsibilities no matter what, and he still is.
Our journey to marriage was a lot different from what society said it should be but it worked for us! It was real, chaotic, fun, empowering, life changing, humorous, and most of all what we wanted! Myself and my current florist planned and design our wedding. It was exhausting and I will never encourage anyone to do that to themselves. I really didn’t have time to rest, so my wedding was exhausting my eyes were red & the hook on my dress was broken. I didn’t notice until I saw my wedding photos. No one told me.. no one knew how important it was to fine tune every detail of the wedding day. I really didn’t enjoy my wedding day but thank God for great photography and a full recap from my guests the next day!
“When people show you who they really are the first time believe them.” Trust your gut, pray about your choice, and know that you get to choose your love destiny.


Relationships in all forms are like a flower that requires a constant flow of nurturing, care and attention in order to survive, otherwise like a flower without those vital ingredients it will die. While romantic relationships however are even more demanding of ones overall commitment.Any relationship stands on five pillars, if at any time any one of these pillars is compromised by circumstance or thoughtless action, the relationship suffers the possible fate of collapsing. Working for or against those pillars are the emotional commitment, consideration and constancy of each person in the relationship.Those pillars are and in no particular order for they are each as important as one other; Trust, Communication, Respect, Consideration and loyalty, with Love being the emotional drive that motivates and encourages the pillars to hold true.
Yet one of the most common relationship breakdown problems is that of communication, and with most couples believing that a communication breakdown is the result of not opening up and communicating honestly and outright in a relationship, however in fact a breakdown of communication often means that one or both do not know how to listen to one another. Even though both partners might very well be very verbal and expressive, yet by being incapable to listen in order to understand and absorb the opinion and feelings of the other person creates a communication meltdown, which would then lead to disrespectful attitude and behaviour and inconsideration within the relationship.
AwakeConBal alternative couple therapy is not a psychoanalysis session of the couple, but rather it allows the couple to experiment with productive tailor made activities that would teach them how to listen and communicate with one another with respect, understanding and consideration.
The couple will be taught the art of truly listening to one another, building a solid bridge of communication, learning to stop and appreciate the feelings and opinions of ones life partner and learning how to keep the relationship alive, adventures and romantic with simple measures of attention and care.
The therapy aims to open channels to rekindle romance by reminding the couple of why they came to together in the first place.
The couple session will be private and confidential and with only a few sessions, the couple will be taught how to continue their own self therapy at home to continue with the success and results achieved in the session.


The word ‘loneliness has more widespread negative connotations. Most often it is associated with stress, depression or negative events in life. However, as psychologists stress, in order to communicate with others effectively, you need to be able to spend some time on your own. This phenomenon is called positive loneliness. It is when one needs social contacts, but also needs some time for oneself to replenish the energy and be able to maintain social engagements.
One’s personal assessment of loneliness as positive or negative is largely determined by age, social and cultural context, as well as a number of other factors. That is why researchers chose to study loneliness form a multidimensional perspective as a multifaceted social construct. They assessed the variances in quality of loneliness experiences:
- family emotional loneliness that describes loneliness related to family interaction
- non-family emotional loneliness experienced primarily in relationships with friends
- loneliness in romantic relationships focused on the presence or absence of romantic relationships
- romantic emotional loneliness that addresses loneliness in existing romantic relationships when one has a romantic partner but is not satisfied with the emotional feedback from him or her
- general experience of loneliness
- dependence on communication that describes negative attitudes to the very idea of being alone
- positive loneliness that reflects attitudes to loneliness as a resource for self-understanding and self-development
Changes caused by the COVID-19 pandemic included modifications in social communications and activities such as travelling, participating in public events, and so on. Many researchers expected that loneliness would increase during the pandemic due to reduction in social contacts. However, as psychologists from St Petersburg University found out, the lockdown led to more time spent with family members and, consequently, to closer relations within families. This is reflected in a 5–8% reduction of the levels of loneliness compared to the values obtained before the pandemic.
Contrary to expectations, induced isolation has led to a closer communication within families.
Olga Strizhitskaya, Acting Head of the Department of Developmental Psychology at St Petersburg University, Doctor of Psychology and the author of the study
‘It’s one thing when you see each other in the morning and evening, and quite another when you spend the whole day in each other’s company. Even if you work or study, you still share the same space. Naturally, you start interacting and you build your schedule differently,’ explained Olga Strizhitskaya, Acting Head of the Department of Developmental Psychology at St Petersburg University, Doctor of Psychology and the author of the study.
Psychologists from St Petersburg University began their study of loneliness in 2019, before the emergence of COVID-19 infection. They collected data on the level of loneliness in St Petersburg. Later, during the pandemic, the researchers teamed up with colleagues from Bulgaria and continued the study, focusing on complex analysis of loneliness in different contexts.
In total, about 900 middle-aged and older middle-aged adults (35–59 years old) participated in the study. The researchers used two questionnaires that assess loneliness in different spheres and the quality of loneliness experiences: the Social and Emotional Loneliness Scale (SELSA-S) for adults and older adults; the Multidimensional Inventory of Loneliness Experience; and demographic data. Thus, people aged 35-44 experienced the largest decrease in interactions with friends and colleagues during the pandemic. In this age group, the general feeling of loneliness was most strongly associated with this particular descriptor.
Most people are characterised by a need to spend some time on their own when they voluntary seek solitude. Sometimes, however, there are extreme manifestations: a person either does not want to communicate with people, or, on the contrary, is too dependent on communication.
At the initial stage of the study, we conducted a short survey with about 400 participants from St Petersburg and Bulgaria. When asked ‘Would you like to live in a world where you can never be alone – not for a day, not for an hour?' only one of the respondents answered in the affirmative.
Olga Strizhitskaya, Doctor of Psychology and Acting Head of the Department of Developmental Psychology at St Petersburg University
The research findings suggest that general experience of loneliness, positive loneliness, family emotional loneliness and loneliness in romantic relationships reduced during the pandemic. At the same time, the scores of dependence on communication, non-family emotional relationships and romantic emotional relationships remained practically unchanged.
The researchers found out that in the pre-pandemic sample aged 35–44, general experience of loneliness was predicted by all characteristics of loneliness except loneliness in romantic relationships. Analysis of general experience of loneliness in the pandemic sample showed different results. For middle-aged adults, general experience of loneliness was predicted only by the variable non-family emotional relationships. This suggests a marked drop in the level of loneliness within the family and reduced interactions with friends and colleagues. According to the researchers, induced isolation led to closer interactions at the family level, as more than 60% of the study participants were married or lived with their partner. For others, family relationships were determined by non-romantic interactions with relatives.
For older middle-aged adults (45–59 years old) from the pre-pandemic sample, general experience of loneliness was mainly associated with emotional loneliness in family and non-family interactions. During the pandemic, the predictors of loneliness in this group became more diversified. The overall level of loneliness was predicted by the combination of: dependence on communication; positive loneliness; and family and non-family emotional loneliness. The study findings suggest that older middle-aged adults from the pandemic sample may assess loneliness in different ways. They might experience contradictory tendencies based on the emotional feedback they receive from their close social contacts.
Facing grave perils, people began to spend more time together, share information and personal impressions, and provide more support to each other. In other words, family relationships became stronger.
The psychologists emphasise that loneliness is reported across all ages and periods of adulthood. However, the variability of loneliness to some extent was explained by personal experience and thus was not directly associated with age. Thus, the pandemic situation may be considered to be a personal situation, since the way one processes this situation is determined by both objective social situations, including real restrictions and personal reactions, attitudes, coping strategies, etc., defined by one’s psychological characteristics.
According to Olga Strizhitskaya, a complex analysis of loneliness in different contexts is essential in order to effectively work with it. Answers to the questions regarding the spheres in which a person feels lonely and the quality of loneliness experiences will help determine where to find the resource to cope with loneliness and what issues you need to tackle. This is crucial for the analysis of critical situations such as pandemics, as well as their impacts. As the scholars point out, studies of COVID-19-related impacts will not only help to better understand human psychology, but also to prepare for other extreme situations in life. The research shed light on individual reactions to a long-term crisis and identified focal points for maintaining psychological health.
‘Including a question about loneliness to the standard General Health Questionnaire may provide additional useful information about the personality and experiences of a particular individual. In the future, we would like to investigate how loneliness is associated with somatic disorders: with the body’s reactions to illness and with the doctor’s prescriptions,’ concluded Olga Strizhitskaya.


Dating is such a weird thing. I've been trying the whole match.com thing. I thought that it would be a good way to meet guys and have some fun dates. "Hey! All the cool kids are doing it,"I thought. All these dates do are make me realize that: 1. Just because I think they can write a good e-mail and hold a conversation on the phone does not mean I want to date them. 2. I'm picky.
I judged so many of my friends after they said that they went on many first dates and no real second dates. I thought that they weren't giving these guys a real chance. They were judging these guys too quickly. Here's the thing, if you meet someone and you feel nothing, absolutely nothing for a guy-- why keep up a charade?
I've learned a lot about myself in the process. I know that I need someone who can keep up with me, someone who feeds off the energy of other people, someone who is silly and someone who can make me laugh and not in the uncomfortable "har-de-har-har" way.