By Joseph Leavitt
"Fast forward a few years to a blind date where I indeed met the love of my life, Andrea. I did tell my dear friend who engineered this meeting that I would rather have hot oil poured up my nose than go on a blind date."
First, let me say by way of introduction, I am a guy, and by no means an expert on women. In fact, my ignorance on the subject, as is the case with most men, is rather profound. I am not a therapist, but like all of you, I have opinions. Those opinions were formed based on the fact my mother was a woman, my wonderful stepmother is a woman, my two grandmothers were women, my two sisters are women, my foster sister is a woman, the women I dated were women, the cheerleaders at my high school were women, I have an ex-wife who was a woman I wish I’d never met, and I am now married to the best woman in the world and have been for some twenty years.
Women are marvelous creatures. I love them. So, I should think given the previous list of factoids, I might just have a thing or two to say about the opposite sex. And, if everyone would just live according to my philosophy and opinions, the world would be a better place; boring, but better!
There’s a song performed by the character Henry Higgins in Lerner and Lowe’s classic musical “My Fair Lady” called “I’m an Ordinary Man”. Some of the lyrics go as follows: “Let a woman in your life And you invite eternal strife Let them buy their wedding bands For those anxious little hands... I'd be equally as willing for A dentist to be drilling than to ever let a woman in my life...I shall never let a woman in my life.” Well, no offense to Lerner and Lowe, but Henry Higgins is little more than a narcissistic dolt when it comes to things that really make life worthwhile.
Ever since God created Adam and Eve and placed them in the Garden of Eden, it was decreed that man and woman belonged together. A successful marriage is where the roots of true happiness are found. As Paul said, “...neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man...” I know there is plenty of anecdotal evidence to the contrary, and bashing marriage is the stuff of many a stand-up routine, but I have anecdotal evidence of my own, which of course, I am not shy about sharing.
Originally, the character of Henry Higgins was created by George Bernard Shaw. That should tell you something right there. Shaw was a despicable human being.
He did marry but never consummated the union, and was no stranger to extra-marital affairs with other women on a pretty much constant basis. His mother ran off with her voice teacher and left his father high and dry. So, it is little wonder that Shaw and his created character’s view of having a relationship, let alone a successful one with the opposite sex, would be somewhat skewed. It is a big deal when a man and a woman decide to unite their two lives.
It is also a good deal. If one desires to make a go of this union and not become a statistic, he/she must compromise. Not a compromise of personal values, but of always having things his or her way. I have heard all of my life, especially from guys that they are too set in their ways to make room for a woman in their lives.
I humbly submit if you are so short sighted and lazy, and commitment-phobic that you buy into this line of thinking and fail then to invest in your future happiness, by accepting a mate, then you truly are an idiot!
There is a significant “L” word involved with any successful relationship; love.
The word gets touted about like a volleyball being smacked back and forth over a net by barefoot; bikini-clad, tanned Amazons on a sandy beach. We hear things in pop culture like love hurts, love stinks, love is grand, love is blind, love me tender, love American style, love on the rocks, the Tunnel of Love, Love Canal, and my personal favorite, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” That last one, by the way, is a load of crap. I have receipts from florists for bouquets sent to my wife by way of apology to prove my assessment.
Love is so very multi-faceted, defining it is a Herculean task; nevertheless, here’s love as defined by yours truly: lust, deep affection, and friendship. These definitions are based solely on my experience. You may use your own inferior definition, when you’re the one on the other side of the keyboard.
The first aspect of our “L” word is eros or lust; aka hormones.
Now don’t gasp in shock. Frankly, there has to be some type of physical attraction. While this is not the primary element, it does play a part, but certainly is not the most salient. This is the front runner generally so that the other more significant aspects of love can come into play. Relationships based solely on chemistry tend to fizzle out as real life sets in. As film star, Rita Hayworth mused, “They go to bed with Gilda, they wake up with me.” I found this out the hard way.
I once dated and fell head over heels in lust with a girl named Bunny. (Bunny? Are you serious? That’s a train wreck just waiting to happen!) Bunny had long blond hair, and was aesthetically pleasing to the eye. My mouth watered like Pavlov’s salivating dog whenever she was around. All she had to do was say my name, and I was like, “Arf, arf,” with my tail wagging.
Unfortunately, the relationship only existed on my side. I was just someone with whom to have dinner until the guy she really loved came around. When she gave me the old heave-ho, it hurt for a long time. You would think I’d learned my lesson from that experience. But no-o-o-o-o-o-o! A couple of years after this, I fell hard for a pair of big brown eyes and a southern accent. My mother told me I lit up like a Christmas tree whenever this femme fatale was in close proximity to me. I married this one deluding myself that this time it was true love. Hah! It was lust all over again.
This was yet another woman who couldn’t see me for sour apples. I was absolutely Pavlovian again in this relationship; a puppy pining for a pat on the head or any sign of affection. Alas, she only saw me as a convenient vehicle to legitimize a pregnancy she was concealing that I had nothing to do with, nor knew anything about. She left me promptly after a miscarriage and cleaning out the bank account. She did call on her way out of town to say, “I don’t love you, and I never have!” Gee, that was just swell! Ninety days later, we were divorced.
I was now alone and bitter. (I often had vivid fantasies about her and her family going over a cliff in their car and bursting into flame as they plunged to their well-deserved deaths. The best part of the fantasy was that I would then go to the funeral and sing, “Ding, Dong, the Witch is Dead.”) I had truly now learned the hard way the harsh reality of what can happen when one enters into a relationship based solely on hormones.
The next aspect of love is perhaps the most crucial.
It’s the falling head-over-heels in love; the amour. the deep devotion for and the longing to be one physically, emotionally, and spiritually with the object of your affection. Granted, this does overlap some with the first aspect of attraction. This is when you are totally whipped and you make everyone around you nauseous because you are apt to quote or write bad poetry and say things like, “You complete me,” which make even the most cast iron of stomachs disgorge their contents. Years ago, I would occasionally pick up the phone to find my foster brother speaking sweet nothings to his girlfriend. I couldn’t hang up fast enough.
I was afraid if I eavesdropped a moment longer I would require an insulin shot, or worse I might be bitten and poisoned by the love bug to the point I’d willingly listen to Bobby Goldsboro singing “Honey” on the stereo. (I absolutely despise that song. It has always had an ill effect on my lower digestive tract.) I thought if I had to be that ridiculous, then I would just remain a bachelor for life.
I had steeled myself and hardened my resolve to never fall in love. No way was I going to sit on the sofa in ambient light with my one and only while we tickled each other’s tonsils with our tongues listening to the Captain and Tennile singing “Muskrat Love.” (I actually sat next to Toni Tennile years ago at a “Messiah” Sing-along at the Music Center in Los Angeles. She’s a lovely person; great alto voice as well.)
Since God has implanted in each of us an overwhelming drive to propagate the species, my steely resolve not to fall in love, wilted in light of those God-given urges, as evidenced by my aforementioned anecdotes. And, when I met my great and true love, I knew instantly we were destined to make beautiful music together! Speaking of music, I was glad she hated “Muskrat Love” and “Honey” as much as I did. We were more apt to listen to Judy Collins, Journey, and ABBA.
I found when I was with her I was just as corny, ridiculous, and nauseous-making as the best of them. I never said, “You complete me”, but I did try speaking French to her once. I wanted to say, “You fill up my heart. You are the apple of my eye.” It came out something like, “You fill up my large intestine. Your mother is a potato.” She informed me at that point as far as French goes, I should just stick with French fries and French kissing. Falling in love with someone and all the falderal that goes with it is a wonderful thing, especially with the right person.
The third aspect of love is friendship.
This element in the love equation is essential and is usually relegated to the back burner when all of the mad passionate stuff is happening with the other two. But, I would ask when the passion tapers off a bit as it is wont to do, the honeymoon ends as it must, and you emerge from your love coma and awaken to face the reality of real life, what then?
What are you going to talk about? Do you have anything in common? Your answer might be to put blinders on, ignore irritations you are feeling, the awkward silences, and just fall back on sex and passion as I did with my ex. But, these things cannot always be employed to fill the void, especially when she thinks you suck at romantic activities anyway.
Trust me, love does not conquer all. Falling in love is easy, and the unfortunate truth is that falling out of love can happen just as easily. I had a couple of good friends who were married for some three years when they had their first fight. Instead of working things out, they divorced.
In my own case, by the time my ex-wife left me, I was ready to strangle her and frankly fairly hated her. This all took place in eight weeks of being together. We were virtual strangers and had certainly not developed a friendship. We had absolutely nothing in common, and had little to talk about beyond the grocery list. We watched a lot of television, so we wouldn’t have to talk to each other. It was pathetic. Neither of us cared about the other enough to even fight. I just continued to let her ridicule me and make me miserable. I stayed away from the house as much as possible.
When I finally couldn’t take it anymore and gave voice to my irritations, she basically told me to go to Hell. My love for her at that point turned to loathing. We had certainly not taken the time to get to know each other and become friends, and when our marriage went pear shaped I was not willing for that to happen anyway. We parted bitter enemies.
Fast forward a few years to a blind date where I indeed met the love of my life, Andrea; I did tell my dear friend who engineered this meeting that I would rather have hot oil poured up my nose than go on a blind date. I did finally acquiesce to her pressure. She knew Andrea and I were destined to be together because we both owned a full set of the Rocky and Bullwinkle videos; something in common right off the bat!
The initial attraction was there for both of us, and as I said, I knew instantly that we were going to be together forever. I did not want to make the same mistakes I had in the past. We took the time to really get to know each other and fell helplessly in like. We became each other’s best friend. The passion and deep devotion was a natural outgrowth of our friendship. Once we got married, we were then loving devoted best friends with benefits; gotta’ love those benefits! It was friendship that got us through waking up in the morning and finding neither of us had minty fresh breath. Rather, the smell which emanated upon opening our mouths in the morning, was as if small gerbils had crawled into our snoring, gaping maws during the night and perished there.
It was also this friendship that gave us common ground, something to talk about, and the desire to forgive each other when we had differences. A solid base of friendship helps you get through finding your bathroom is now the Hanging Garden of Babylon for pantyhose and other delicates and that maxi pads are now a part of the bathroom’s decor. (I once directed a production of “Amahl and the Night Visitors." At that time, my sister-in-law and her son were living with us. I cast my nephew as a shepherd. Kneeling on the stage hurt his knees. I promised to get knee pads for him. Being the resourceful kid that he was, he grabbed a couple of his mom’s maxi-pads from the bathroom and tied them to his knees. I can’t remember ever laughing so hard. The kid sure knew how to think outside the box.)
Friendship helps you overcome the irritation when you reach for a tube of toothpaste and find out you have loaded your brush with Monistat 7 instead of Crest. Friendship helps your wife overcome her irritation that your clothes always end up on the floor by the hamper instead of in it, and that it is not in your DNA to put the toilet seat down or to rinse out the glass from which you’ve eaten your cereal, or hundreds of other little things.
So kids, here’s the deal, for the love of all that is holy, make sure that you are marrying your best friend, then all three aspects of love can work together to insure that you and your spouse are bonded happily together for the rest of your lives and beyond. Women, as I said are great. I am so glad that I lucked out and have my love and soul mate with whom to share my life’s journey. She is indeed my rock, my best friend, my best critic, my filter as I have a tendency for the inappropriate, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for her, and most importantly she laughs at all my bad jokes.
Marriage with true love in all its elements is worth all the sacrifice, compromise, and adjustments necessary to make it work.
At least, that’s my humble opinion.


Are Nicole And Clay Together
Sep 3, 2019 ... Is Clay Single After 'Bachelor In Paradise'? Nicole's Tweets Hint They're No ... And if he switched gears and got back together with Angela, he ...
Aug 19, 2019 ... Find out whether Nicole Lopez-Alvar and Clay Harbor are still in a relationship on 'Bachelor In Paradise.'
Aug 30, 2019 ... WHAT SEASON 6 COUPLES ARE STILL TOGETHER AND DATING? ... When Nicole and Clay met on Season 6 of Bachelor in Paradise, ...
Sep 2, 2019 ... Now that Angela has arrived on the scene, do Nicole and Clay stay together or break up? At this point, the drama is real, and fans are already ...
Sep 2, 2019 ... Will Clay stay with Nicole, or reunite with his ex-girlfriend, Angela?
Aug 13, 2019 ... Clay Harbor and Nicole Lopez-Alvar heated up quickly on season 6 of ... Amezcua that he loved her despite being together for eight months.
Aug 12, 2019 ... It takes a brave man to ask out one of Paradise's most infamous criers on his first date, but Clay, from Becca's season of The Bachelorette, ...
Sep 4, 2019 ... Clay and Nicole's fate on "Bachelor in Paradise" has been revealed. ... In Paradise' 2019 Spoilers: Do Clay And Nicole End Up Together?
Sep 3, 2019 ... Clay is caught in a love triangle when Angela comes to 'Bachelor in Paradise' after he already has a relationship with Nicole. ... mistake,” said Haley, who probably hasn't talked to Angela since they were together last season.


↑ Leisha & Cam. ♡
I will take the long road but it leads right back to you. Follow you into the sun. I will steal this time for you. But it feels so right. I want it tonight. You feel so right. Oh, I will wait to love you. I will wait another day. For you I'd leave all this behind. I will wait for you tonight. I will waste another dream on you. Always run to you..
You’re from a whole another world a different dimension. You open my eyes and I’m ready to go, lead me into the light. Infect me with your love and fill me with your poison. Take me, me wanna be your victim, ready for abduction. You’re an alien, your touch so far away. Its supernatural extraterrestrial. ~ Katy Perry.
» Maybe one day, you'll know how much you mean to me. ღ


A good friend is the person we can rely on and tell our problems to. Therefore, they should have understanding, compassion and loyalty. These qualities, in my opinion, are the most vital as well as the rarest to find. In addition, a true friend should be always beside us, in good or bad moments in our life.
One soul in two bodies. Two people who are so close that their actions and thoughts sync together, often thinking and saying the same things at the same time. Very few people have the blessing of a true friend. True Friends have an in explainable, unbreakable bond, even if they're not there for you, they're still there. A true friend will look at you at your worst time in life, and still call.
My personal definition on true friendship is that it’s built on mutual support, communication and love. In life, you will meet many that say they are “your friend”, but reality is that you will make only few true friends. A real friend will reach the extremity of the value for friendship.A True Friend essaysFriends play an important role in a person's life. They encourage when one is sad, they entertain when one is lonesome, and they listen when one has problems. There are varieties of friends: co-workers, social workers, schoolmates, and much more. Each type of friends is h.A true friend is some one, whom you (know will be there for you, whenever you need him. Friendship is a necessary part of every human’s life as none of us is self sufficient. A friend is a trust-worthy companion who cherishes special moments and memories of life with another person. A good friend plays an active part in his friend’s life.
Not only are true friends loyal but they are trustworthy as well. A true friend will never let you down. Around a true friend, you can be very comfortable and true. Someone you can tell your deepest secrets to knowing they won’t tell anyone else. In other words, someone you can trust. I think a true friend will always understand you.
A true best friend is not an acquaintance, and is definitely not a person there just to benefit herself. To me a best friend is someone that is always there to help, someone who understands me inside and out, doesn’t ask questions when not wanted, is a good listener, and gives sound advice.
A true friend inspires you to live up to your best potential, not to indulge your basest drives. Of course, we may have friends who fit all these criteria and still don't quite feel kenzoku.
Definition of a True Friend. Elizabeth Pena English 2302 Dr. Charlie Scott 02 November 2012 Essay 1: Definition of a True, Authentic Hero In my eyes, a true, authentic hero is someone with firm courage, nobility, faith, valor, hope, motivation, and bravery.
Definition of a True Friend Essay What is the definition of a true friend? A lot of people have friends that they can depend on for just about anything. Some just have needy friends that are there when they need or want something. There are so many definitions of what a friend could be. The dictionary’s definition of a friend is a person attached to another by feelings of affection or.
True friends synonyms, True friends pronunciation, True friends translation. An acquaintanceship, if all goes well, can linger in the memory like an appealing chord of music, while a friendship, or even a friendship that deteriorates into an. A prince is also respected when he is either a true friend or a downright enemy.
A true friend rolls with the punches as you grow and change and knows how to deal with your quirks and faults. Good friends are also patient with you when you make mistakes -- even big ones -- and learns how to forgive you when you hurt them.
Extended Definition Essay: True Friend. A true friend is someone who understands us, not because of what we do, but because of who we are, and those are the kinds of people that would really shape our whole being because of them.
Writing a descriptive essay might mean you’re writing straight-up description, like describing her long, flowing, beautiful chestnut hair or his amazing almond-shaped blue eyes that can peer into the depths of your soul. Most descriptive essays, though, aren’t all about describing something through the five senses.They have a focus. If you’re writing about your friend, think about what.
Definition essay bout friendship true friends friend my best quotes im so happy i have. View.. View. Essay example definition nd write step true ndship extended about good. View. Definition essay friend about friends true kid friendly good ll degree certificate of dr ambedkar from. View. Definition essay friend example hip outline true.
My best friend told me once that if I ever moved away from home, she’d stop visiting home and fly to wherever I was. When I mentioned that I want to move to the UK, her response was “Ooh, that’s not too far from northern Europe! We could take a tr.


She looked as peaceful as the ocean but no one could see the eternal storm in her soul. Everyone wants to know her closely but not enough to be brave and jump in the middle of the ocean, in her magnanimous heart. Everyone gives up at one point or the other. They suit themselves. Or maybe it is all her fault. She never let anyone in. She is scared of the realities hidden under the masks which is why she had built walls around her. So that the one who would be fearless enough to climb the walls, jump inside and explore all her scars and bruises will surely experience the splendid beauty of that serene ocean. And he was like the sky, constantly fighting the urge to meet the ocean. To naked eyes they meet on the horizon. But nobody knows that it was never meant to be….
Six years since we met, it has been a beautiful journey till now. I can’t believe its your big day tomorrow. The day you have been waiting for since your childhood, the day we have been planning for so long and today, when the day has arrived it actually feels something else. It makes me feel happy, sad and jealous at the same time. Tomorrow is the day you are going to start a new life. All of a sudden someone would mean much more to you than everybody else. You will make new memories with him and our memories will slowly fade away.
Today all our memories came flooding back to me. We were inseparable. Such a beautiful little family we had become. Or perhaps more than a family. We have literally grown up together. Experienced the world together. Laughed, cried and laughed till we cried together. Loved and cared for each other at our worst because when nobody else understood us, only we knew what pain we were going through. It makes me smile how our friendship had been tested numerous times but the best thing is that every time we never even thought of giving up on each other. We forgave each other without even asking for explanations or being sorry. Encouraged, protected and defended each other against all the odds and threats. Bunking classes, late night movies, funny rickshaw rides, our shopping sprees, cracking silly jokes on others, mimicking Amber Mall (our hostel warden), acting pregnant and drunk, long walks, telling each other horror stories, dancing like maniacs and what not! All this made our friendship grow super strong.
How powerless we were that we could not stop the time until it drifted us apart one by one and everyone got busy with their professional lives. But even though we are hundreds of miles apart our hearts still beat together. We never fail to understand each others silence even on the phone calls and text messages. And when we talk, we do not take a second to turn into the same crazy kidults we once were 🙂
Thank you for giving me so many wonderful memories to cherish for the rest of my life. You guys are my lifelines and will always be. I live because you guys helped me. I love because you guys loved me. And hey you! The bride to be! We wish you all the happiness in the world. You are one crazy person but try to be a sensible wife 😛 We will always stand by your side no matter what.


October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
Violence in the home harms everyone in the family. Children are especially vulnerable. When they see violent behavior between family members, or when they're abused themselves, they may grow up to be abusive to their partners, spouses or children. As parents it's our responsibility to prevent family violence and bring an end to this cycle of abuse.
If you're coping with the violence in your home, remember you're not alone. Abusive behavior affects every neighborhood, ethnic background and economic class.
No family is immune. But no family should be victimized by violence. We have listed some of the domestic abuse programs below.
The first time you are abused should be the last
Abusers are rarely reformed without intervention
If you are abused call 911 or the abuse hotline
Neighbors should call 911 if they witness screams


Mo: So it appears we may be having a baby in a little over a month. Does it feel real to you?
Will: No. Not at all. I really cannot fathom it.
Mo: Doesn't feel real to me either.
[sit beside each other in silence on the couch for a bit]
Mo: Do you think that's how most first-time parents feel?
Mo: Or do you think we're sort of fucked up because of our history?
Will: I think it's probably common, but I also think we're pretty fucked up.
Mo: Probably, huh? I guess it will feel more real after she gets here.
[sit beside each other in silence on the couch, holding hands]
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Movie Name :- 3 Three (2012) South Indian Hindi Dubbed Movie
Quality :- HDRip
Drama, Mystery, Romance,
Starcast :- Dhanush, Shruti Haasan, Prabhu,
Length :- 2h 25min
Release Date :- 30 March 2012
Movie Story :- Ram and Janani's three stages of love - their attraction for each other during their school days, their love at college days, and the relationship when they mature, are explored in this romantic tale.


Shiro: sunflower – adoration, “I only have eyes for you.”
Kuroh: marguerite – faith, true love, love fortune-telling.
Misaki: lily of the valley – purity, humility, happiness comes again.
Saruhiko: forget-me-not – true love, “forget me not.”
Reisi: blue rose – dream come true, impossibility, miracle, god’s blessings.
Mikoto: red rose – affection, beauty, passion, ardent love, “I love you.”
source: official twitter | language of flowers in Japan


Today marks my parents anniversary. Their love was one more than worth celebrating, which they did together at every moment they got.
I always admired the respect they had for each other and could see their love in the twinkle of their eyes. Especially when they danced together, you could see the same bright love that they had kindled all those years earlier.
My mom and dad were partners, lifting each other up, encouraging each other, and living a life of integrity of love. They shared that love with everyone they met.
Thanks for setting such a great example, Mom and Dad. I miss you every day. I’m sure you are dancing together in heaven today.


Welcome. Whoever you are, and however you found me, I'm happy you're here.
I am a sex and relationship consultant. It's a new field, so don't worry if you haven't heard of it before. I'm not a dating coach or a therapist. I'm here to find out more about you, and to make some suggestions for how you can shift a few small things and make a big difference in your relationships, your intimacy, and your life.
I work with couples who want more from their sex lives. Who used to have the realationship they wanted but feel like something got lost along the way. I also work with individuals who are looking for satisfying intimate relationships but can't. quite. get there. Women and men of the high-functioning, above-average variety, who "have it all" on the outside but feel like something is missing on the inside. Who want more intimacy with their partner, or can't seem to find and keep a partner at all. Who don't have the sexual connection, sensation, or satisfaction they know is possible, and who aren't satisfied with the conclusion that they're "just not sexual people."
I know you. I was you.
That's before I discovered a new way to experience relationships--and life. One that changed everything. It starts with a few simple principles, a shift in perspective, and a new relationship to your own orgasm. (Ahem--yes, I said your orgasm.) Because your sex is your power. It's the energy that creates your life.
And whoever you are, you're meant for an extraordinary life. So let's get started.
Then, when you're ready to have a chat about the possibilities, contact me. We'll set up a free 15-minute call to determine whether we're a good match.
Just don't wait too long, k? Life is so much better once you have the connection, intimacy, and power you are looking for. I speak from experience when I say that it's all right around the corner. Can't wait to meet you.
"I know I can count on Kelly to bring her full attention to the conditions of my life with grace, wisdom and great insight. In the light of her clarity I feel deeply seen and appreciated. I'm asked the questions I wish I knew to ask. I sort out my "stuck" places and fall back into the integrated rhythm of my unique dance. She's an absolute gem!" --Tara, Taos NM


It wasn’t actually him who made me happy. It was how he made me feel that made me happy. I didn’t love him. I love how he treated me. I loved how he would hold me and kiss me. I loved how he would squeeze me when we hugged. I loved that we were together. I didn’t love him. I just loved the idea of him.


Selasa, 09 Agustus 2016
I think it was A date.
When somebody wanted you, they would do anything to make you out with them.
I did not know why he came back again to my life as if he played with my heart, wanted me as his part of his life. He wanted all information about me, Where was I, what did I do, Where did I work. Wanted me so a lot. I even did not know why he did that all those Things together with me. Did the silly Things together with me. He wanted me to know him more. Liking him as His lovely doll.
Is that love ? Did he miss me so badly. By doing all those things together with me.
I don't know.
Wo bu zhidao.


it infuriates me when people tell me “lifes too short to not forgive people!” like NO lifes too short for me to continually allow abusive and manipulative behavior in my life and live in a constant state of anxiety bc I want to be “nice” or whatever
I love that point in a friendship when you get what the other person’s style is - their “thing.” You see a knit jersey tie and think of them immediately; a type of weather, a bad movie, a woman’s outfit. You know, with absolute certainty, that your friend would enjoy this thing with you more than anyone else in the world. You feel closer in that moment of recognition, even if they’re not there.
*tries to act cool by not texting back right away but forgets and never texts back*


Couples Therapy for Managing Differences
Are you at risk of losing your relationship, or wondering if there’s hope? Or are you wanting to work through challenges as you explore deepening intimacy, and explore new levels of commitment?
When there’s love, conflict can lead to deep pain. Bonding, touch, and sexual intimacy trigger not only evoke deep pleasure, and hormones including oxytoxin, but also the potential for trauma based fight/flight reaction. When differences arise, it can bring up your emotional wounds from past relationships or family-of-origin patterns, leading to repetitive “stuck” conflicts or patterns of disconnection.
As your couples therapist, I support you to shift painful arguments, or experiences of disconnection, back to flow, intimacy, connection, and improved communication, so you can see how you want to grow together. I help you get out of the cycles of reaction into greater safety in your being, honoring your feelings and your connection.
Here are some issues in which I support you
* Support in having difficult conversations
* Learning skills to navigate difficult conversations on your own.
* Making communication easier
* Staying True to Your Own Needs, While Staying Connected
Navigating differences and conflict
Even when you have many similarities -- cultural or racial differences, regional differences, personality differences, gender socialization differences, differences in how you were raised, or opinion -- can lead to conflict. These underlying (sometimes obvious, sometimes not in your awareness) patterns from the past, ingrained values, or even stuff you thought you had worked through, can show up as get closer and deepen commitments.
I particularly work with couples where one or both members are immigrants or children of immigrants, Asian American, or also navigating cultural differences intergenerationally from their parents.
Healing Through Relationship
Relationships can be a source of healing with support.
* Building Conscious Relationship
* Healing Interenerational Trauma
* Early Childhood Trauma and Mental Health Challenges in Relationship
I support you in having insight and skills so that you can become a more “intelligent” couple.
I listen carefully to both your needs, and also the dynamic between you, providing holding for that which is hard to hold by yourselves. I have been told I can be both sensitive and strong, and hold complexity.
As a somatic psychotherapist, with training in somatic and relational therapy approaches focused on emotion, attachment and communication in couples. I tune into both verbal and nonverbal cues. I may support you both in using touch, movement, and ways of working with neurobiology of trauma healing, to establish greater safety. My work is also informed by relational psychoanalysis, which means seeing relationship as a source of healing and information, and a non-authoritarian approach that deeply honors your meanings, values, and history that contributed to who you are.
I am also systems centered. As a couple you are creating a relationship that is more than just two people. A systems perspective is a theory of how systems work well and evolve.
If you or your partner are in individual therapy, I may suggest I be in communication with your therapist to better support each of you in relationship, though this is not required.


A lonely writer develops an unlikely relationship with his newly purchased operating system that's designed to meet his every need. I've turned him into a vector!
Alternative film poster of HER.
You can purchase it
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Thursday, February 11, 2010
During the month of February, I'm offering Couple's Readings for 25% off (a couple's reading costs the same as a one-person reading -- no extra charge). It's an excellent way to explore who you are both as an individual and as a partner in a relationshop.
A two-person spread works in much the same way as a one-person -- you ask a question or bring forward a specific concern or you just open yourself to whatever the Universe would like to share (my favorite approach). It won't reveal the future gift-wrapped and ready to open, but it will give you a good idea of the energies that each person is bringing to the relationship, as well as show you how the relationship itself is combining them.
You'll learn a lot about yourself, and your partner. I guarantee. Call, come by the shop, or drop me and e-mail. And celebrate hearts in a real and lasting way this Valentine's Day.


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Surtees, A Catalogue Raisonné, vol. 1, 172 (no. 349).
Giuseppe Maenza (d. 1870) was an Italian refugee and close friend of DGR's father. DGR was fond of him and stayed with Maenza and his wife at the home in Boulogne when he and Elizabeth were on their honeymoon (see his letter to WMR of 9 June 1860,
Fredeman, Correspondence, 60. 13


it's nice to see you! I'm jenn.
I'm a love photographer, designer, and a nice human. I love sunshine and birds and I spend a lot of time reading the first halves of books. I'm very passionate and emotional and I cry at basically every wedding I've ever been at. I love riddles and mysteries (so if you're into MFM, let's hang out). My MBTI is INFJ, so I'm a little shy to start off but once we get to talking you'll wonder how I ever hid how goofy I am (and where I got all those puns?!)
I'm drawn to wedding photography because I thrive in supporting others. I can think of few other ways to be the best possible support than helping someone celebrate the most special moments of their lives. I want to see you have the best day ever, and I want you to look at the photos we've taken together and feel those feelings again.
Enough about me--let's connect so you can tell me all about you and your dreams and how we can share this special moment of your life together!


Ex-lover wanted his rent money back
I am 25 years old and I have one son. His father is dead. He used to treat me very well, but he went away. He followed the advice of his relatives and did not come back.
He kept promising me that he would come back, so I should just wait on him and not get involved with any other man. I kept myself. Then the news came that he died.
One of his cousins used to come around and help me. He would take my son wherever he wanted to go. I then noticed that his cousin was coming on to me.
It got stronger and stronger. One day he told me that my son's father was not coming back unless there was a miracle.
I didn't like the idea of going to bed with him, but he started to help me to pay the rent and to do other things. I told myself it was unfair to allow him to act like the man in the house and not give him something. He promised me that he would use the condom, so we started to have sex. There came a time when I had to put my foot down and tell him 'no condom, no sex'.
He would reluctantly use the condom. He used to go home after we made love, but he started to sleep over.
I heard it from a good source that people were saying that I was no good, and that we were lovers. Even my own parents told me that I shouldn't have got involved with him.
One day, my father told me that he would disinherit me if I was really sleeping with my babyfather's cousin.
I decided to break up with this guy. I was surprised when he told me I should pay him back every cent he gave me for rent. He counted up each month he helped me.
I told him if he was going to play hardball, then he should pay me for the amount of time I allowed him to have sex with me. He told me that I never told him that I was selling sex.
When he told me how much I owed him, I told him that was all right. He then said he was only joking and begged me to allow him to come back in my life.
I cannot allow him to do that because I know that I should not have got so close to him. Now, there is another guy that I am in love with. I love him, but I am not sure that he loves me.
I am afraid to take the chance with him. Whenever he comes to the house, he keeps looking at his watch because he says he has to be at home at a certain time. He is a family man.
If he were not married, I would say that something is wrong with him, because he hardly asks me for sex. My babyfather's cousin is still after me, and now he says that we should go away and get married. Please tell me what to do.
I am sorry you got involved with your babyfather's cousin. He was never really concerned about you; what he wanted was your body.
You were under pressure financially so you accepted his help. He felt so at home that he thought he could do anything and get away with it.
You are fortunate that he did not get you pregnant, but, evidently, he wanted that to happen. That is why he was reluctant in using protection.
Now, you need to be extremely careful, because the present guy that you like so much is married, and you should not give him the impression that you love him so much that it will not bother you for him to leave his wife and come to your house. He wants to be careful. You said that he has not given you the impression that he loves you.
He is not in a hurry. Perhaps he is giving himself time. So don't throw yourself at him. If he loves you, you will see it eventually. You have not said whether this man helps you financially. Perhaps he has taken you as his good, social friend. Time will tell. One more thing before I go.
Your babyfather's cousin is trying to get back into your life. Have nothing to do with him. If he turns up at your house uninvited, go see a lawyer and take out an injunction against him.


To access COVID-19 testing, call 0800 VIRUS 19. For up-to-date information on COVID-19: Click Here
Books on Prescription
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts
The five love languages are quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, personal touch. Dr. Chapman states that couples can truly love each other and build a lasting loving marriage or partnership by understanding your own love language and being able to work with your partners love language.


Grumpy Old Bear / Eigen werk
animator – Renske C
My Second school year animation.
About an old couple that went to the forest. The man dont want to go, but his wife loved everything she see. That frustrates the man, who wants to go away. If he went away there comes a hungry bear to the woman who noticed nothing, she still thinks that her husband is standing behind her.


Chaste dating relationships Sex chat with girls without registation
I decided to hit the streets and ask single men what they REALLY thought of sweet young women and more specifically, chaste young women.Of course, since this occurred over summer vacation, hitting the streets was no easy task with a full double stroller and 2 older kids tagging behind, but we made the best of a difficult situation. I decided that next, I was best off approaching an affable business man who looked about my age, mid to upper 30s (draw your own conclusions about my age), no wedding band.
We know we are in the wrong and that God’s teaching tells us to be pure and wait till we are married.
They’re not married, don’t know if they’ll ever get married, and are just enjoying each other’s bodies.
Most people who live together before they get married don’t get married and those who do have a higher divorce rate. You’ve already agreed that this is not the biblical pattern and thus is not a healthy pattern. What you’re demonstrating, by the fact that you say, “I want to do this but we always fall back into the same pattern again” is the strong bonding nature of sexual relationships. Sex was designed to be a deep bonding experience between a husband and wife.
What you’re experiencing is that deep bonding between the two of you even though you’re not married. However, if you’re going to develop a healthy dating relationship and make a wise decision about getting married or not getting married, you’re going to have to draw away from this obsession with the sexual part of the relationship.
Then, you’re going to have to explore other aspects of the relationship.
There are a few things you can do that will be helpful: The key is that you don’t allow yourself to be together in a sitting where you’re alone or private because if that happens, you’re very likely to be back in the same routine.


Thinking back to that day. That day we met, it was a Sunday. I didn’t know much about you other than a few short text conversations and a phone call. I knew you had a good sense of humor and a sexy voice with a southern drawl. I felt we had common interests, based on our dating profiles. Family, good food, friends, travel and the water. Even though you were a state away I felt you were worth meeting.
You knew I was only in town visiting family. I told you I did the 4.5 hour trip every few months and really enjoyed it. So you were well aware that I was not local. You mentioned you were from my state and that you visited your family as often as you could.
That afternoon before I headed back to Virginia, we met for lunch. You had excitement in your voice to meet and I was feeling the same. I told you I only had an hour or two before hitting the road.
When I arrived you came bearing a gift. You were especially proud of your job. As regional sales manager for a local soft drink company you wanted me to try it. And out you pulled these 4 little glass bottles.
As We laughed, and talked for hours ,you made me smile. Talking about your antics growing up with your brother. You were very talkative and full of life. Not boring at all. I lost track of time, completely. You seemed to be intrigued by me as well and time just flew by.
We had a great way of joking together and teasing that I loved, it felt natural. You were a gentleman, how you carried yourself , with me and the staff at the restaurant. 4 hours later I realized I needed to head home.
You walked me to my car and inspected my tires. You asked if I could let you know when I arrived safely.
You reached out for a hug, and I didn’t want to let go. Your smile making me Melt inside. And then we hugged again, although I secretly wanted to kiss your lips. I held back , I guess because it was our first date.
This was the most elated I had been in years.
You called me on my way home and we talked another 2 hours. You said you wanted to see to me again , your intentions were to know me better, and how much you enjoyed our time. I was beaming with excitement. I was attracted to your blue eyes , your smile and beard that looked like heaven. But your personality was absolutely dynamic. And you were kind, more than all else, you were kind. This was important to me.
My divorce was final and I was actually honored to go on a date with a real southern gentleman. I had dated a lot last year , but not had much luck with anything lasting. Most of the guys I dated were a big let down to say the least.
Over the next few months we talked on the phone here and there and mainly kept in contact with text and pictures. You were busy with your job and I with mine. But you listened when we talked and you were always a delight to talk with.
I visited my cousin again 2 months later. You invited me to a concert and I gladly said yes. I met your friends and saw how outgoing you were. And I loved it. We danced and drank and had a blast. You wanted to take care of me and protect me, I could tell that you cared. We got separated at the concert for a bit and you were concerned. I was chatting with a girl outside the bathroom and she thought you and I were married . I laughed and said “no but he’s my date.” When we found each other you kindly asked that I let you know if I was going to “go off galavanting and meeting new folks” . I thought this was sweet and quite endearing. You didn’t allow me to pay for a thing and even got me a cute band tee shirt. At this point I was a bit in disbelief that I was having so much fun.
I instantly got along with your friends and traded contact info to stay I touch. The band stopped playing and we said goodbye to your friends. You called an Uber and we climbed in. We stopped to grab “snacks” at a local gas station. I laughed and got to know our driver while you ran inside. We had had some similar experiences. You came back and laughed because I had made friends with a stranger. You then proceeded to give me chocolate you got at the quick mart. I was also amazed that you bought our driver a soda, lottery tickets and then when we got out a huge tip for our short ride. You didn’t have to do any of this, but you wanted to I could tell. I could see it was in your nature to do for others.
We planned to stay in a hotel and to not drive home after drinking. I admired how responsible you were. You brought a sleeping Bag to the holiday inn. To say I thought this was adorable would have been an understatement. I could feel the respect you had for me. And it was reciprocal.
We made love that night. All night , kissing and fucking and laying intertwined. I loved being in your arms. You made me feel beautiful , like a queen. But you also knew how to drive me wild, and turn me on. And now in this moment, I wish I laid with you in that bed, just a little while longer.
The next morning I got up to shower more abruptly than you. A while later You and I Both then started to get dressed. Somehow You tolerated my singing and dancing as I got ready. It felt so right just being with you. We played and laughed some more and then you started planning breakfast.
We went to eat at a local place. There was a wait and we chatted out on terrace having drinks.
A sweet girl was waiting too. She was a few years older than us both. She looked like she needed a hug, I could just tell from her eyes that they had some sadness behind them. Her and I talked a bit as you went in for refills. In our conversation I found she had just lost her mother. I instantly bonded with her as my mom is critically ill and in need of a heart transplant. I asked her if she wanted a hug and she fell into my arms. You came outside and asked what was going on. She talked to us both and said she was just stepping out to get her family lunch as they hadn’t done that since she passed away. She thought you and I were married since we were “dressed alike and had such good chemistry”. Not realizing that I didn’t even live in the same state. She asked how long we had been dating , and said “well I can tell its been a while”. I told her it was our “third date”. You and I grinned knowing that our 2nd date turned into a third.
They called her name and she went inside to pay for her order. I waited while you went inside as well. I assumed just to get refills. I then looked up and she was walking back out In tears and grabbed my arm. She said “are you aware what this man just did?” I looked at her unsure what she was talking about. She said that my date paid for all her families food. I was in shock at his kindness. I obviously thought this was Incredible. She told me to please Marry him because he was wonderful. I looked at her , I’m pretty sure I had tears in my eyes , and without any hesitation said, “I would love that “. We giggled. And she insisted on giving me something . Reached into her bag and gave me 2 gift cards to a local department store. I didn’t want to take them . She insisted saying that she wanted to do something for us. And that she wanted me to hold onto them. She said her mom was a match maker and she was also. She then proceeded to say she had a feeling about us and that it was good. I told her it Was kind but unnecessary. She once again insisted and put them in my hand, and said to hold onto them and share them with him when we get married one day. Her and I sat there in tears. Laughing and crying.
This day was unreal to say the least. This weekend was completely surreal.
This woman I met. She said that there was no way we met her by chance and that the kindness that was bestowed by my date and myself was the universe unfolding. I couldn’t have agreed more. I felt I had met her too for a reason. She told me stories about her mom , and encouraged me to cherish every moment with my mother. Her and I laughed and talked and my date came back out and she walked to her car. He then gave her some soft drinks to take home to her kids.
Finally our table was ready , and we went in to enjoy our breakfast. We talked and cried and laughed. You were able to be raw with me about some things that you healed close to your heart. I loved that. Our waitress asked how long we had lived in NC and how long had we been together and I said “ this is our third date”. She looked shocked and thought I was kidding.
I didn’t want to go that day. You walked me to my car. You started giving me snacks from your car for the road. Making sure I was prepared , looking over my tires again. We hugged, and kissed. We kissed for a long time. It was a great kiss. You said I was important to you. You held me so long.
He said “ I just want to be around you, that’s all I know”. Once again he asked that I let him know I arrived safely back in my home state.
We shared messages and phone calls off and on for a month. He came home to see his family over Christmas. He told me he was here and we chatted some. But he never tried to see me. That hurt. A lot. I told him how it felt. He said he was super busy with family and just couldn’t get away. I tried to understand although it confused me.
He also told me one night on the phone to do something unusual. He told me to write a number down. It was a local number ,not out of state. So I did. He said that if I ever needed anything to just tell the lady who answers I am a friend of his. I asked who’s number it was, and he later told me it was his mom.
I decided to call her the next day. You probably think this was crazy. But I knew how I felt about her son. And I wanted her to know she did a good job raising him. So, I told her. I told her that I met him a few months back, and he was a southern gentleman. Unlike anyone I had met. We talked a while on the phone getting to know each other a bit, and she was so sweet. She said if I ever was in her area to call her for a visit. She thanked me for the call, and I thanked her as well.
He told me his mom mentioned the call. We talked about it , and he said he really wasn’t all too surprised I called her. We had a good conversation but I’m sure my assertive nature caught him in his tracks. He would say I was “a wild one”. And he repeated again what he told me on our first date. That “you are a two handful girl”. Of course he would also say that he was up for the challenge. Although now looking back Im not so sure.
We played phone tag a bit after that.
Then I started to feel I really loved him. No one else I dated cold compare. I couldn’t get him out of my head. I felt I needed to move on. He was too far away and he had stopped communicating with me regularly. I felt if we wanted to make it work he would try. I tried to date other guys to see if I could get him off my mind. It didn’t work though.
So I wrote him a letter. Telling him how I felt about him. Minus the “ I love you” part. I felt comfortable doing this because I’m open about my feelings. I enjoy writing , and reading. And I don’t sugar coat anything. I felt I needed closure, and hoped this would grant me that.
So I really poured out my feelings. I knew it was risky doing this, but I just had to get it all out there. Letting him know what I saw in him and appreciated. I made it clear that he was important to me. I told him I thought I’d love to date him if he thought he could make it work. I knew it would be tricky with schedules and communication. But that I felt he was worth it , and I sure as hell knew I was worth it.
I got a missed call about the letter. He thanked me , but didn’t say much.
Since then, contact was limited.
My birthday Came and he reached out and sent me well wishes.
This man. This southern gentleman. He made an impact on me. He lingers in my mind. He knows how I feel. Yet he has not once tried to visit me here.
So what did I do. Well I have continued to date. To not give up on love.
I feel I may be a hopeless romantic.
Yes I have cared for others, and met some incredible people along the way.
And yet, 7 months later and everyone I meet just pales in comparison. No feelings are as strong as what I feel for him.
How is it possible someone can do this to me, miles away ?
He has since texted me that I have stayed in his mind as well. Even that him and his mother have talked about me recently.
I am at a crossroads.
I keep trying to date and move forward. I feel it’s not fair to my love interests to still have a longing for someone else. I also don’t know that it is healthy to keep him in my mind. To still talk about him here and there, and think about him more often than not.
Is it not Healthy to hold on to a love that I felt? Even if it was short lived. I know what I felt he did too.
Why else would a man treat me so well? Why would he tell me how important I am to him ? Why on earth would he tell me to call his mother if I ever needed anything locally when he lived out of state?
At this point I really don’t know.
The latest is Ive been dating someone almost a month. He is a nice guy. Attractive , kind , funny and sweet. He actually is my boyfriend. And this is the first time Ive really used this label. So it is a big deal.
It’s scary , but I think he Is actually boyfriend material. But its early on. And I do know that Ive been disappointed a lot by others. I’m not rushing it.
So I have a trip planned in a few weeks. To see my cousin out of state. And a huge part of me feels I need closure from this. In order to date and move forward. I need to hear a reason. A reason why it didn’t work out to continue dating.
Maybe he met someone else. Maybe he knew that long distance wouldn’t work with him. Possibly he isn’t ready for commitment. Or maybe my emotional side and openness scared the day lights out of him.
But Ill never know unless I try. So I decided I’m going to try to see him one last time. To hear how he feels. And to listen. To go into it with an open heart and an open mind.
I left him a voicemail telling him when I’m visiting. Hoping he is well and taking care of himself. I suggested we meet while I’m in town.
I don’t expect anything grand. I don’t think anything he says will change the course I’m navigating.
But I hope it at least gives me clarity. Clarity is all I ask for. I’m not asking for him to date me. I’m already interested in someone new, who I think is a genuinely good person.
But I deserve an explanation. A better understanding on why he never told me how he honesty felt about that letter I so feverishly worked on.
It may hurt. Ill probably leave crying and heart broken. But I need to hear it, whatever he has to say. Because I need to hear the truth.
That is what I need, transparency . In order to move on, wherever that is.


Thursday, September 4, 2008
Back in 2 and 2 (who doesn't love Love Connection)
I know a wonderful woman named Carrie. Carrie needs a man. She's Smart and funny and has a great job. Someone date this wonderful woman. She loves traveling and obsessing over Dave Mathews. When she reads this she will kill me. So if you don't want me to die and you're a male between the ages of 32-44 and you'd like to take this hotty to dinner, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org or better yet leave a comment so she can read you pining over her.


or Bonnierequested by: Klarolinedelenaforever
“Why didn’t he go for me? How come the guys I want never want me? I’m inappropriate. I always say the wrong thing. And Elena always says the right thing. She doesn’t even try and he just picks her and she’s always the one that everyone picks.. for everything. And I try so hard and I’m never the one.”
“You told me to leave,” she points out. “I only did what you told me to do.”
“Since when have you ever done anything you were told to do?” he scoffs.
— Filling Up the Empty Spaces (x)


Welcome to the Student Ministry
Reaching Out to Our Neighbors Connecting Them with Jesus
We believe in building relationships with students by meeting them where they are. This earns us the right to share the Gospel. We have a heart to see students come into a life-changing (not life-altering) relationship with Jesus Christ. Out of the overflow of their relationship with Christ, we pray that students learn to passionately worship, commit to growth and selflessly serve.
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To learn more about Student Ministry, please click below:


The church is called the “household of God” (1 Timothy 3:15). This means that we are family. Are you looking for a spiritual family to belong to? Are you looking for a place of love and kindness? Are you tired of feeling like you are alone? Come check us out. We are not a perfect people, but we are trying our best to serve our perfect Lord. Would you like to serve Him too? Let’s help each other. Our congregation has many programs, classes, small groups and other ways to get involved. No one is an outsider, we consider all members to be “family”, and as a church family we are constantly looking for ways to show our love and care toward each other!


I wanted to say how nice it was to get to know you. And we met your wife-nice lady.
It was our great pleasure to stay in your hotel. It added so much to our stay. I wish I could say we'll be seeing you real soon, but probably not REAL soon anyway.
Again, thanks so much for your hospitality. It added so much to our trip.
Yours with pleasure,
Carl Linda Matt


You work too hard at the relationship, constantly making excuses as to why they're not giving to you what you give to them,” she says. Will text tonight or tomorrow,’” she explains. ", You're probably 'micro-cheating' on your partner — and it could turn into a big problem for your relationship. This also applies to them not being able to receive affection from you. Unless you’re okay with being in a relationship with someone who isn’t fully there for you (and maybe you are! Look out for the following key signs someone is emotionally unavailable. It can be really difficult for you to feel like your partner is making fun of you for feeling the way you do or avoiding discussions about emotions that you’d like to share with them. “How do you know this? And even when you do meet, they’re uninterested in your stories, says Sylvester—chances are, they seem checked out, dismissive, distracted, or distant. If your partner seems to try to avoid topics of conversation that are important to you, that’s another potential sign that they might not be emotionally available. “We're all busy, but someone who wants to be in a relationship with you will prioritize spending time together and will always get back to you, even if it's to say, ‘At work. You may never know that your boyfriend was molested or abused as a child since emotionally unavailable men often deliberately keep quiet about trauma from their past. “They don't consider your feelings, ask about your day, or wonder about your thoughts and dreams,” says Sylvester. This article will review the topic of emotionally unavailable and avoidant parents. Some days, I just don’t feel like being very accommodating. As a starter, many people believe the being emotionally unavailable … It makes them feel like their feelings aren’t being valued or understood. Telling someone else that they should or shouldn’t feel a certain way doesn’t exactly make the other person feel all warm and supported inside. If you're emotionally unavailable, it may come down to the way you love yourself; or rather, the way you don't love yourself. Honestly, the relationship is teetering on destruction, but he refuses to give up. "That doesn’t present an emotion, but when someone says, ‘I feel like everything is piling up,’ you can infer the emotional experience that they’re feeling— overwhelmed or overloaded or something like that. 5 Signs Your Dog Loves You More Than Anything, 9 Signs that Prove Your Cat Really Loves You, Surprising Signs Your Partner May Be Cheating, 10 Signs You May Be in a Toxic Friendship. At some point, a relationship has to go beyond the exchange of minutiae regarding how your day was, what’s on Netflix, and where to get dinner or drinks. "It's not just that they forget your birthday or don't know your shoe size," Sara Stanizai, MA, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist, told INSIDER. If you notice some of the signs that your partner might be emotionally unavailable, suggesting counseling and gently explaining what they’re doing that you think is putting up a wall between the two of you might help. A key sign of an emotionally unavailable man is that he is neither hot nor cold. When you’re sharing feelings or personal stories, does your partner face you and look at you? “You run the risk of discounting your own needs because you’re too busy tending to theirs,” she says. Relationships have a natural flow of things. For more stories like this, sign up for our newsletter. Signs That He Is Emotionally Unavailable 1. Be wary of people who can't own their part in a conflict, because it may be a sign that they aren't willing to really connect with you.”. Do they reflect your facial expressions back to you? Sometimes, it’s nice to be with someone without commitment), then you might want to consider ending things. “Trust your gut. Emotionally unavailable people tend to grapple in relationships, often favoring to date casually and maintain some emotional distance. Well, that’s not an expression of feeling, it’s an expression of belief," Sultanoff said. "This can lead the person to call his victim, or others overall, 'dramatic' or 'oversensitive,' rather than discussing the topic at hand or validating the partner’s feelings and experience. “You probably feel like something is missing, as if there’s a barrier to getting to know this person,” says Bingham. So when someone does that, they are separating themselves from their emotional being and that makes them less able to connect with others emotionally.". "I feel that you are overreacting." "[T]his is very common with everyday language and a lot of people do this so — and this may or may not indicate emotional unavailability, but it’s likely to — and an example of this would be when someone says "I feel that…something." But someone who’s emotionally available never gets too deep with you. “It’s certainly worth having a conversation,” says Sylvester. He knows there is always hope if he can find a way to keep it … "Ask what are some of the ways they know you appreciate them? Sign #8 of Emotionally Unavailable Men: He Has Some Past Trauma His past may impact his ability to be emotionally open with you. When your partner ignores or passively avoids participating in conversations that matter to you, it can be difficult for you to deal with, but pointing out to your partner that they tend to do these things, can potentially help them recognize it as well, Kubala explained. When someone is emotionally unavailable, they often send out mixed messages. “Frequently, partners of emotionally unavailable people are told they’re ‘too sensitive’ or ‘being dramatic,’” she adds. "They might have some deeper issues that they need to connect with first before being able to commit to a relationship," Hoffman explained. Someone who’s emotionally unavailable, though, doesn’t put you in the same slot on the priority list that you put them, says Sylvester. But someone who’s emotionally unavailable keeps the games going continuously through the first months of dating or a relationship, says Katie Krimer, a licensed clinical social worker in New York, NY. "So instead of saying 'I feel angry' or 'hurt' or 'sad,' they talk making the emotion an object," Sultanoff said. 4 signs of the inability to connect with others. Get it now on Libro.fm using the button below. YOU CAN’T READ THEM CLEARLY. Emotional unavailability can be challenging to identify. Not everyone who’s emotionally unavailable will be ready or willing to work on things, but addressing it with them is very important. "And when someone discounts another’s emotional experience, they’re more disconnected emotionally.". If your partner can’t open up, even when you initiate a conversation and ask direct questions, they may be emotionally unavailable. "The emotionally unavailable person may choose to engage in behavior that is solitary and less challenging, such as focusing on video games, his or her cell phone, etc," Kubala said. "For example, they say 'my frustration' or 'the anger' or 'the disappointment I feel.'" When you’re upset about something, that isn’t always the time to be reminded that there is a bright side. But there’s a sure sign to look out for: This is a sure sign that this guy is emotionally unavailable, if you have no idea what is going on between you and you don’t know where you stand. Emotionally unavailable people have a lot of trouble dealing with conflict as compared to emotionally available people. You have a job that you enjoy and you like your coworkers.' This is not his default setting. since, “No Rules Rules: Netflix and the Culture of Reinvention”. An emotionally unavailable person may have a few or all of the following signs… 1. When someone is emotionally unavailable, it can be really difficult for them to describe how they’re feeling, even if you ask them directly. Since that’s not ideal for many people, it’s important to be aware of the red flags an emotionally unavailable person exhibits. They Send Out Mixed Signals. "It’s my perspective. But being unable to receive affection is a less obvious but just as telling sign. "This can lead the person to call his victim, or others overall, 'dramatic' or 'oversensitive,' rather than discussing the topic at hand or validating the partner’s feelings and experience.". 7 Signs Someone Is Emotionally Unavailable. You feel like you are in a relationship with a professional dodgeball player (you try to get close, for example asking a personal question, … "[I]t can be that they’re trying to make the person feel better, but in so doing, they’re actually creating distance and most people don’t feel better, they feel more disrespected or unheard or disconnected, but the attempt may be the only way I know to make you feel better is to tell you that there’s no reason to feel that way," Sultanoff explained. "I say I’m upset because I didn’t get the raise and the partner says, "well, you really shouldn’t feel that way, you know, your company doesn’t give out a lot of raises,"" Sultanoff said. “It suggests that a person consciously or subconsciously creates a wall that prevents them from being intimate with another person,” explains Jill Sylvester, a mental health counselor and author of Trust Your Intuition: 100 Ways to Transform Anxiety and Depression for Stronger Mental Health. However, emotionally unavailable women can be evasive and avoid discussing their feelings. She Has Difficulty Sharing Her Feelings Some women are quiet because they came that way. If you think that your partner might exhibit signs that they could be emotionally unavailable, there are a few things that you can do to try to help. The reason is: they unconsciously want to protect themselves from trauma as well as emotional wounds in the past.. Relationships are meant to be an equal partnership, with give and take and a lot of compromise. They don’t want to talk about it. 10 Signs of Someone Unavailable Emotionally. Dating this kind of a person can be exhausting emotionally, and there is always the risk of falling in love with someone who doesn’t love you back. So what they’re doing is they’re hearing the distress and they’re trying to be helpful by presenting an uplifting emotional side," Sultanoff explained. Emotionally unavailable means he will either never open up to love you, or he will never show it. These are some of the red flags to be cautious about when dealing with men. 10 Signs of an Emotionally Unavailable Man . One of the most noticeable signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love is his ability to hang on by a thread. Subscriber “You ask about work and they tell you ‘it's fine’ or you ask about family and they say, ‘my parents are nice,’” says Bingham. Our editors handpick the products that we feature. "So one person says, "I’m disappointed that I didn’t get the raise at work," and the partner says, 'Oh, you have so much to feel good about. Then, when they feel better they often move forward without asking you what you might need in return.” And you know what could happen while they do this? "There is also nothing wrong with being emotionally unavailable. “Tune in to body language,” says Lindsey Jernigan, Ph.D. licensed clinical psychologist in South Burlington, VT. “People unconsciously express our comfort or discomfort with connection through our posture, touch, and eye contact. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io, The Best Valentine's Day Gifts for a New Boyfriend, This Man's Journey to Reconcile With His Birth Mom, Why This CEO Married For The First Time at Age 60, How Love Literally Saved the Lives of This Couple, How a Mutual Crush Changed Gabrielle Korn's Life. 1. (And we're not just talking about a partner who likes to set healthy personal boundaries.) How long are you willing to deny yourself what you want and need? https://www.oprahmag.com/.../a27899292/signs-emotionally-unavailable-partner Not only is he able to do this, but he’s also willing to. You don’t know where you stand. Do they spontaneously reach out to touch you in comforting ways, or in ways that express feelings of love and desire?” These skills come naturally to someone who’s comfortable with intimacy, but not to those who are emotionally unavailable. “If someone is emotionally unavailable it's all on them to figure out what's going on and if they wish to change their behavior,” says Bingham. Those sorts of behaviors don’t require them to connect emotionally to anyone else, nor do they require them to think or talk about any of their own feelings or emotions. … Evasiveness. So people who have that style are also more emotionally unavailable.". Why don't you think you are worth more than that? “This gives an emotionally unavailable person the choice to do something different, if they're capable, and to become aware of the wall they are putting up, if it is a subconscious process, and to take the wall down if they choose.”. “Playing games involves not being straight-forward in the beginning of getting to know someone,” she explains. "So I ask you, 'Well, how are you feeling right now?' He begins to slowly open up to you For an emotionally unavailable man, opening up to someone new can feel nerve-wracking and uncomfortable. Here are 10 important signs to look out for that an emotionally unavailable guy has fallen in love: 1. One is to explain to them, kindly, what’s going on, focusing on what they’re missing out on. She will always put herself first, and she won’t think about your feelings so much. "There is a general inconsistency among those who are emotionally unavailable, as they may be highly engaged within their job or able to engage with their partner physically, but they fall short of emotional attachment or intimacy. “This can create a vicious cycle in the relationship where one person is pegged as the overly emotional one and the other is the rational and stable one—because, in reality, the ‘overly emotional' person is holding all the painful feelings for both partners.”, The whole point of being in a relationship is leaving dating “games”—not texting right away, making vague plans—behind. When you’re in a relationship with someone who’s emotionally unavailable, the relationship 100 percent revolves around them. 11 Signs Of An Emotionally Unavailable Partner And What To Do Oprah Magazine participates in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may get paid commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites. A relationship with an emotionally unavailable man can be deeply traumatizing. One Redditor asked that what are the signs of an emotionally unavailable person and others listed them down below with their suggestions. If you’ve noticed any of these red flags in your partner, it’s time for a serious soul-searching. We throw the term “emotionally unavailable” around pretty casually, but joking about someone being commitment-phobic, seemingly loveless, or allergic to feelings is only scratching the surface of what the term really means—and what it implies for the person in a one-sided relationship, dating someone who is, in fact, emotionally unavailable. Much of an emotionally unavailable person’s relationships will be surface and one-sided, often leading to few friendships and an overall avoidance of emotional interaction.". "It's not just that they forget your birthday or don't know your shoe size,", , a licensed marriage and family therapist, told INSIDER. “This isn't someone who’s looking for a meaningful connection; they want to keep everything very surface level so they, and you, don't get too attached.” One topic that’s totally avoided? Which, we might argue, is almost the same. A healthy relationship is when two people give and take equally and are willing to compromise. Sylvester says you should ask yourself: You might end up wondering if there’s some way you can change this person, if they can become more emotionally available. Subscriber Account active since, “ No Rules Rules: Netflix and the Culture of Reinvention.... Topic of emotionally unavailable. `` your own needs because you ’ re too busy tending to theirs, says! Easily end up getting hurt in a relationship with has an emotional reaction they. 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Parental Involvement Matters
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I asked tom today if he would marry a man or a woman when he grows up .. he looked at me agast and told me that men only marry women. Now both Anna and I have gone to great lengths to ensure that all our children dont have fixed gender views – except it apears to have not worked at all. Anna and I have very open (ok well pretty open) views on relationships and discuss them with T&B – it just puts into perspective the influence of parents over that of ‘the world’.
Aww the power – on a side note, tom has just brought his friend Jake (who I dont much like – he is rude 😦 ) to play in his room. They have to walk past my study to get to their room. Tom gave me a look that was pure ‘is this ok dad?’ – I nodded and they have gone to play. Dunno why this exchange touches my but it kinda does.


Foster care isn’t babysitting, and it’s not about adoption. Each child comes with a family of their own, and all the memories, traditions, relationships, and complexities that surround family.
Foster care is about standing in the gap for another family. This family might become part of your own, redefining family as you once knew it. Or you may never get to know them at all. But their reality, their existence, their importance will always be there, touching your days, influencing your children. You can’t—and shouldn’t—erase them away. And you shouldn’t step into foster care if you’re not ready to engage with the reality of them.
Foster care is about family. It’s about welcoming a child into your family. It’s about—in one way or another—welcoming another family into your family. If this sounds like something you are open to, then lean into that. Foster care might just be for you.


A couple weeks ago, my mom and I woke up early to go buy clothes from one of my dearest friends. It had been a while since I had seen her, but she was as sassy, joyful, and lovely as ever. And instead of letting me buy some of the clothes she was selling, she just gave them to me. She gave me piles and piles of clothes and such feelings of happiness and peace.
I have an Armenian friend who I met last summer, and I’ve been talking to her a lot lately. I’ve never met someone who can make me laugh as much as she does-in person and via various other means of communication. She’s talented and encouraging…I’ve never met anyone like her. She’s everything all the time, and I hope that I’ll see her again soon.
One of my closest friends and her precious family invited me to go to the mountains with them this weekend. We finished homework, and I had a wonderful time doing it because being around her always fills my heart.
I cried when I left middle school because I was leaving my chorus teacher, but now that she’s not my teacher, she’s my friend. I babysit her daughter, who I would also consider my friend even though the two of them are nothing alike. Her daughter helps me to be free and joyful in all things, and my former teacher helps me to be kind and feel loved throughout all things.
I could write forever about my friends on the football team, but two of them in particular brighten my life in such simple ways. They are in constant need of pencils and help with homework, and people who don’t know them don’t usually think too highly of them. I know them, though, and they make my days enjoyable and oh, so interesting.
A couple nights ago I went to the wedding of a friend I’ve had since I was six years old. Once, I told him that I wanted him to be my big brother instead of the one I had. He’s looked out for me ever since, and I’m indescribably happy for him. I have another friend who I’ve known for as long as I can remember. I don’t see him often, but he’s so genuine and takes the time read things I write when I need someone’s opinion. I also happen to be friends with his younger sisters, especially the youngest one. She’s talented and sweet and I have pictures that she drew for me all over my wall.
My favorite pastor used to sit with me during Sunday School while I drank coffee. We would talk and laugh, and his will always be one of my favorite friendships.
When I was little, during one of the plays I was in, I used to wait in the wings and sit on this guys shoulders so I could see. I can’t, for the life of me, remember what he looked like. I don’t even remember his name. He smelled good, and he took the time to make a little girl feel tall, capable, free, and peaceful. He died a few years ago, but that feeling stays with me.
(All these stories really do have a point. I promise it’s coming.) Yesterday, my sweet boyfriend’s mom told me, “I don’t know how you put up with him.” Y’all. My boyfriend and his family are honestly the sweetest people. I laughed, but I would hardly say that I have to “put up with” him. As I thought about it though, I considered all my friends, the ones I mentioned and the ones I didn’t, and how many times they probably put up with me. I thought about Christ and how often often He has to put up with me… and all of us. I mess up a lot. But the really amazing thing is that God doesn’t leave me when I do something wrong. He still puts up with me because He created and loves me. He can see the good that He put in me, and He doesn’t give up on it. He just continues to forgive and continues to love.
So, as we go back to school, I’m going to try to remember stories like the ones I shared, stories about the wonderful parts of people. Friends put up with the bad parts in each other, the same way Christ does. They continue to love and remember the amazing parts about each other, the parts that make life worth living.
I don’t want the way I treat people to be dependent upon their mistakes or the bad things they do. I want to treat them the way I treat all the sweet friends I wrote about. Because guess what? We’re all broken. We all need love. We all get put with by others just as much as we put up with others. I want to treat everyone the way that I would hopefully treat Christ because there’s a little bit of Him in all of us.
Note to self: When you get frustrated and want to yell at someone, take a deep breath and remember that there’s some Christ in there. Speak to Him. That person is a beloved child of God. Love them like He would.
1 Corinthians 16:23-24,