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It is important that your children feel loved by both parents, and it is frequently the loss of love from the father that is of concern. Although fathers are now usually more involved with their children than in previous generations, it is still true that separation is more likely to change the involvement of fathers than mothers.
According to researchers, there are basically three patterns of involvement by fathers after a separation. Firstly, there are fathers whose involvement remains the same. That is, those who were already involved with their children continue their involvement after the separation, while those who were not very involved do not become more involved. Secondly, a parent who was not much involved with his children may become more involved when he realizes the importance of his relationship and has the opportunity to spend time with his children on a more one-to-one basis, during visits or when the child is staying with him. Finally, there are fathers who distance themselves from their children, often because they find that the infrequent contacts are not satisfying or because the mother is extremely resistant to continued contact and the development of a significant relationship between the father and his children.
No matter how difficult it may be for you, it is generally best to encourage you and your ex-partner's continued parental involvement with your children. This is one of the best ways to ensure a smooth adaptation to the separation.
It is generally suggested that after a divorce or separation it is best to maintain the same discipline rules that existed in the family before the separation, even though you may allow more flexibility because of the stressful nature of life. It is best to establish a new routine of who does what and how things work around the house as soon as possible, and to make as few changes as possible in the lives of your children. The more that things can continue as they were, the better it will be for your children.
One of the most difficult situations, which is fairly common, is when the parent who has primary responsibility for the children appears to be more controlling and sets down more rules, while the parent who has less frequent contacts becomes more permissive and indulgent. This invariably brings about difficulties for one or both parents, and the children are more likely to develop behavioural problems. Children in this situation can have temper tantrums or disobey, and parents can feel that they are being pushed to their limits. If parents do not agree on a common approach, this situation can become a vicious circle, as one parent deals with the problem by becoming more strict and the other compensates by being lenient in order to maintain a 'good guy' status. When this occurs it is best to avoid blaming the other parent and to agree on a common approach to discipline and controls.
Rarely, in the context of very acrimonious separations, children might suffer a lot and some of them can develop a mental illness such as separation anxiety, depression, school refusal or conduct disorders. In these circumstances you should consult a specialist in child and adolescent mental health for further support and advice.
If you wish to read more about Divorce and Children you can consider the following books:
Immediately after a divorce or separation, it is common for children's behaviour to change. You should expect some changes in how your children behave and how they feel, but how they react immediately after the separation does not necessarily predict how they will adjust to the situation several years later. Some children have intense immediate reactions but adapt very well later on, whereas others seem to be less affected immediately after the separation but do not seem to get over it even years later.
Children of all ages can have a variety of reactions, and the age at which the divorce or separation occurs is not related to whether or not the child will adjust well to the situation. Long-term adjustment to the new situation depends upon how the transition is handled and the quality of the relationships with the parents afterwards. Although boys usually have more difficulties than girls adapting immediately after a divorce or separation, they do not necessarily have more negative long-term consequences.
It is important to bear in mind that children often experience a mix of seemingly contradictory feelings, including sadness, anger, fear, guilt and confusion. Aggression and behavioural problems are common after separation. Children often experience difficulties in their relationships, such as ignoring friends. Their grades may decline and parents may feel overwhelmed, guilty about having caused these problems, angry at their child's behaviour, concerned about his or her future or just plain confused about what to do. Such reactions by parents are also typical.
Some children react to separation by becoming more irritable, or more timid and less sociable. Some feel anxious, withdraw and seem depressed. In general, children who were 'difficult' before the separation become more irritable and have more problems afterwards.
Understanding that all these reactions are normal is the first step in helping your children adapt. Parents often feel responsible for the problems, and such feelings of guilt may make it harder for them to see clearly what to do. It is important to realize that, even if the immediate reactions seem extreme, most parents and children eventually adapt well to their new situation.
But it does take time, and research shows that it is not unusual for children to have negative reactions for up to one or two years after the separation. Some children may have persistent long-term effects. However, the risk of long-term effects can be minimized by appropriate reactions and help from parents.
Helping Children through Separation
Your decision has been made: you are going to separate, or perhaps a separation has already occurred. You, your ex-partner and your children are preparing to experience a period of great change in your emotional life, your lifestyle and financial matters. This is a time when responsibilities alter and are re-evaluated. Things will never be the same again, but there are many things a parent can do which have been proven to help children adapt.
Firstly, it is essential that children understand what is going on. Children who do not understand exactly what is happening are much more likely to develop severe negative reactions than children who are told exactly what is going to happen and why. It is important to answer children's questions honestly, but with one important exception - it is best not to blame your ex-partner for the troubles, regardless of how much you feel that he or she is worthy of blame. It is important to tell children that they are not to blame, even though they may think that the divorce or separation is partly or totally their fault. It is important to say this even if your children do not appear to blame themselves. Children need to be told that the separation has nothing to do with how they behaved and that this was a decision made by two adults based only upon problems the adults were having.
You will need to make practical arrangements about visits, with whom the child will be staying, how to contact each parent, and so on. As soon as these arrangements have been made, it is important to explain them clearly and answer all your child's questions. Very often, children are as disturbed by practical matters as by the emotional impact of the change. The more you are able to explain details of the practical arrangements and give the children time to prepare for any changes in their living situation, the better.
It is also best to try to make changes one at a time, rather than changing everything at once. For example, if children have to move house but can still attend their old schools until the end of the year, this is better than changing homes, friends, contact with parents and schools all at the same time. Although parents might want to 'get everything over with' all at once, gradual changes in the situation are usually better for the children.
It is important to listen carefully to how your children feel and what they think about the separation. Children need to be encouraged to express these feelings because they very often have false ideas about what is going to happen, why the separation has occurred and how their parents feel about them. It is important to correct these false ideas and to understand what is really bothering your children.
Most children hope that their parents will get back together again. Even if your child does not say this, it is important to say to your child that, although it is normal to wish that your parents will get back together again, this is a final decision (if you truly feel that it is a final decision).
It is common for children to feel afraid of being abandoned by one or both parents after a separation. This can even happen with a parent who is constantly present if a child feels that the parent they knew has changed, is not as happy, feels stressed or just seems more distant. For this reason, it is important for parents to take care of their own emotional needs during a divorce or separation.
It helps if you can talk about your children's feelings and express your understanding of them. It is not necessary to change the feelings, even feelings such as anger, frustration or sadness. Just saying that you understand and that it is good to talk about those feelings can be very helpful.
Children who get support from more than one source may have an easier time of dealing with a divorce or separation, and so they should be encouraged to talk to friends, grandparents, cousins, neighbours or anyone else with whom they feel comfortable.
There are many good children's books about divorce and children often find reading them helpful. You can read the book with your child and talk about it, for example discussing how the story in the book is similar to or different from your own situation. Sometimes, even if children say that they do not want to read a book on divorce, they may read it secretly if it is left around the house for a while.
Many communities have programmes to help children whose parents have separated. These programmes are often useful and allow children to better understand that divorce and separation is increasingly common and that all children experience the same difficulties and can find solutions to their problems.
Parenting after the Separation
Research shows that conflicts between former partners have more negative effects on children's wellbeing than all the other consequences of a divorce or separation. Hostility between parents is the most important obstacle to children adapting well to their new family situation. It is understandable that there are often negative feelings concerning a former partner, but if your children's wellbeing is of primary importance, it is important to avoid trying to settle problems with your ex-partner in front of children. You should not put your child in the uncomfortable position of spying upon your ex-partner to provide you with information about his/her activities.
Parents should avoid putting children in the stressful situation of having to choose between them or decide with whom they would rather spend time or do certain activities. The more cordial and 'normal' the relationship is between two parents, and the more both parents are able to agree among themselves about important decisions, such as educational issues and discipline, the more likely it is that the children will adapt well to the separation.
Child Psychiatrist in London
Children of Divorce:
How do they react?
Extract from Partnership for Children
by Sarah Dufour, Ph.D and Brian L. Mishara, Ph.D
No matter how difficult it is to maintain a good relationship with your ex-partner, it is important to realize that this is one of the best ways to ensure that your children adapt well, despite the stresses of the separation.
It is important to reassure your children that you still love them and will always love them, even if you no longer love your ex-partner.
Sometimes children think that if your love for your former partner can stop, maybe your love for them can stop as well. It is important to love your children no matter what and to say it to them.


Is this day a special day for someone dear to your heart? Or perhaps you’d just like to put a smile on the face of someone you care about. Giving a present is a simple act but could greatly impact the relationship you have with someone in a positive way. It’s not always easy to choose a gift for a friend or relative. It can prove to be even more complicated when it’s your partner’s birthday. We all want to surprise our loved ones by giving them the right gift in order not to read disappointment in their faces. Luckily, there are few tips to use to pick the right present.
Tips to Pick the Right Present
Before you pick a present for someone, there are few things to take into consideration. One of them is to consider the difference in taste. Most of the time, we tend to offer a present we wish to receive ourselves because we take our taste into account. The fact is, the choice you made based on your own taste might not be what the person wants. It is a mistake often made, and to correct that, it is important not to take our taste into account but rather that of the person getting the gift. You can also pick the right gift based on what you know the person always wished to have. That been said, in some cases, the best gifts are the simplest. Some examples of gifts are perfumes, wrist watch, pair of shoes or even bracelets with special designs. check thisblog to find out more.
Is it important to give a present?
Offering a present to someone is very important for human relationships. It’s not only for those who are involved romantically, you can offer a present to anyone you care about. Giving a present is a way of establishing a certain connection with someone and proves the consideration we have for them. In other words, it is a way to communicate our feelings and appreciation for someone dear to us.


Title: Little Women
Author: Louisa May Alcott
Read In: 2020
Quoted In: Letters to you with love from me
“I can see that the grammar gets tucked into the tales and poetry, as one gives pills in jelly.”
“… don’t make a saint of him. I’m afraid I couldn’t like him without a spice of human naughtiness.”
“What can there be in a simple little story like that to make people praise it so?” she asked, bewildered.
“There is truth in it, Jo—that’s the secret. Humor and pathos make it alive, and you have found your style at last,” said her father. “You put your heart into it, my daughter. Do your best and grow as happy as we are in your success.”
Quoted In: Letters to you with love from me
“You have found your style at last,” said her father. “You put your heart into it.”
—Louisa May Alcott, Little Women
I’ve noticed that the writings of mine I love the most are my notebook rants, where I just pour out the thoughts in my head, the things on my heart. It’s when I try to clean them up through editing that I begin to like them less and less.
It feels like mono-cropping. Editing feels like chopping down a diverse messy wooded area and planting rows of corn. Year after year of planting the same crops strips the soil of nutrients and richness.
My goal with writing is to connect with others who feel the way I feel, who see the world like me, to open their minds, to make them feel less alone. My goal is not to be professional but to connect.
Why am I so concerned with editing?
Because I’m afraid that the words from my heart don’t make sense to others.
When I was in bible college, I broke up with my boyfriend there because we were moving in with his parents in Mexico in a couple months and he wanted to marry me the following year. And I was afraid of losing my independence, afraid of binding my life to his. I felt too young. I hadn’t done anything with my life.
I became sick and feverish after ending our relationship and I began to write him letters while bedridden in my dorm room. I missed him, I loved him, I wanted to build a life with him, I felt safe with him, I was sorry for being afraid.
Less straightforward than that, more fever dream.
But the letters, while feverish, concluded with me saying I made a mistake, I wanted to be with him.
We met up a week after our break-up, on a bench across from my room. I gave him the letters and watched his face as he read them. His eyes were a mixture of blankness, confusion, and anger. Finally he looked at me, gestured at the letters in his hand, and said, “What is this?”
“I . . . “ My voice cracked. I cleared my throat. “I want to get back together. That’s pretty much what I was trying to say.”
“Good,” he said. “My cousin’s in town and going to be visiting campus in a few hours and I didn’t want to have to tell her we broke up.” He picked up his bike. “I’ll text you when she’s here. Make sure you’re ready to leave by then.”
And he biked away without another word.
I looked down at the bench. My letters were lying there pathetically, like a crumpled white rose. To you, with love from me. And he didn’t take them with him. I picked them up and held them to my chest, feeling cold and numb and afraid again.
We didn’t stay together for long after that. I broke up with him again, for good that time.
But that fear never left me, of giving someone I loved pieces of my heart on paper, and having them rejected.
I got into a pattern of writing letters to guys only after they rejected me. A love letter to an ex-boyfriend after he broke up with me because he couldn’t handle long distance. He texted me that he got my letter but couldn’t bring himself to read it, so he stored it somewhere, out of sight, unopened. Last year I told a friend I had feelings for him and he said, “I don’t know what to say.” The letter I wrote him afterwards is in a dresser drawer and I’m very glad I never sent it.
The biggest heartbreak I experienced was three years ago. I was in love with my roommate, and he with me, but of course it was all unspoken. But then he ran into his ex while at the beach and felt some sort of “sunk cost” with her, felt the need to try to rekindle things because they had so much history.
He came back to me, to our house, a few days later with whispered apologies, and my days with him after that were some of the happiest memories of my life. But he left again when he found out she was pregnant, and he tried to destroy my life after that.
I wrote him multiple letters of course. I’d never felt more myself, open and free, than I did with him, and haven’t felt like that with anyone since then.
I thankfully didn’t give him the letters but a year later I published a short love story about him teaching me how to surf. I didn’t identify him in any way, but an old roommate sent it to him and he unblocked me to tear me down. “Me and our old roommates had a nice laugh at that garbage you wrote. You’re delusional, and no one will ever love you.”
Why am I equating “writing authentically from my heart for my online readers” to “love letters I write to boys who hurt me”?
Well, why do I only tell people I love them after they’re gone?
I’m afraid of rejection. But I want to be honest. To admit to someone the depths of your feelings for them is to risk pain and rejection. So if I wait until I’m already in agonizing heartbreak pain, then additional pain won’t really be noticeable.
I guess I see the things I write and share publicly as love letters from me to you. “This is what’s on my heart. I know there’s someone else out there who feels like this. You’re not alone.”
I’m afraid that no one else feels like me, so I edit my heart words into oblivion. Try to mask them with style and professionalism. And thus, most of them rot away in my drafts folder.
Maybe the unedited writings from my soul will feel like fever dream letters to someone, not worth keeping, but that’s okay. I’d rather connect with the right people than make perfect sense to all the people.
While I’m not ready to risk more romantic pain any time soon, I am ready to put more “delusional garbage” on the internet. Because I love my words and I know I have good things to say and I know someone out there feels the same way I do.
And I want you to know that I love you.


New Year, New Me
With dating app usage spiking on ‘Dating Sunday’, we've polled the nation to reveal online dating habits, including four dates a month, £52.88 per date and five potential lovers on the go at once
With many of the UK’s 15 million singles planning to get their love life in order for their new year’s resolution, we've delved deeper to find out the true online dating habits of the nation – revealing the positive force of tech on the nation’s love lives.
As a spike in dating app downloads and usage on 5th January* marked the start of this year’s e-dating season, also known as ‘Dating Sunday’, the new data shows the power of the internet in making it easier than ever to date successfully, with 56% of the nation saying they couldn’t imagine a world without online dating.
Generations across the board have embraced this new world with impressive juggling skills – 15% of the nation’s singles ‘like’ every profile they come across and nearly a quarter (23%) of 18 – 24-year olds have at least 10 online dating conversations on the go at once, which averages out as five across the board.
Meeting on a dating app is no longer taboo as the average singleton goes on at least one date a week with 66% of Baby Boomers crediting the creation of dating apps with improving their love lives. Nearly half (46%) even admit they haven’t been on a date without the help of a dating app in the past 10 years. As a nation, we’re averaging an impressive four dates a month and in addition, over 70% of the younger generations know at least one couple who have met on a dating app.
Accents continue to be a driving factor in finding love and singletons may want to book a trip to the capital as Londoners are named as having the most attractive accents. Scotland and Northern Ireland are named as close second and third, with the least attractive being Bristol, Liverpool and Birmingham.
When it comes to love at first sight, a quarter of men say their online dating photos are more than two year’s old in a bid to get more swipes, however women are more honest, with 42% using pictures less than six months old.
The price of dating culture can be expensive however – overall as a nation, we spend an average of 52.88 per date, and this varies across the ages, with the younger generation are splashing the cash with reckless abandon by spending £68.46 to woo a potential partner. This equates to well over £3.5k a year – compared to their older counterparts who say they wouldn’t spend more than £10 on a future lover.
With the internet now such an integral part of our dating lives and romance being revolutionised by online apps, we wanted to take a closer look at how the nation's daters are using technology to find love. ‘Dating Sunday’ is the perfect time to kick off dating new year’s resolutions and get online to find the one!
Research on 1,000 people across the UK was conducted by Fly in December 2019.


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The BCCTC is very pleased to celebrate today’s formal signing of the Sister-Cities agreement between Halifax, Nova Scotia, and Portsmouth, England. Today’s ceremony follows several years of relationship development fostered by the BCCTC since 2019. A planned visit by Halifax’s Mayor, Mike Savage, in March 2020 was postponed because of the COVID travel ban but, like everyone else since then, the two sides have learned to find opportunities and build networks using virtual tools. The fact that Mayor Savage and the Lord Mayor of Portsmouth, Councillor Hugh Mason, were able to meet in-person for the signing ceremony is indicative of the growth opportunities for the visitor-economy that has been severely hampered by COVID.
"This agreement with Portsmouth builds on the relationships that already exist between the naval bases and universities in both cities and will enable us to explore new economic opportunities together that will generate business, jobs, and growth in both regions," Savage stated in a news release.
In addition to the obvious Naval connections, both cities are committed to environmental sustainability, the development of Oceanology innovation, and clean-tech industries.
Read more here.


Growing up, my vision of the type of woman I’d become was heavily influenced by my favorite characters from film. They were these breathtakingly gorgeous women who seemed to float when they walked. Not a head stayed screwed on straight when women like this entered a room. Every eye was on her, always. This type of woman was the kind men searched high and low for, the kind of gal who would accept him just as he is. She would never ask him to change a single thing—scratch that, she would never need him to change a single thing. She wasn’t needy. She wasn’t clingy. She just lets him be himself. This woman is a little crazy but it’s the cute kind! The kind the proverbial man refers to as “quirky.” She wants ice cream when it’s 10 degrees outside. She has a favorite hat and it’s red. She makes it all ok. Debt? Who cares, he has her love. Health? What’s that, she bakes him cookies every day and they’re made with fairy dust. Responsibility? Nonsense, the ethereal princess has no bedtime or day job. This woman, the one who I figured I would become, would be all things. She would be a dream girl. A manic pixie dream girl, to be specific.
The term was coined back in 2007, attributed to Nathan Rabin after viewing Cameron Crowe’s “Elizabethtown.” Incidentally, “Elizabethtown” is one of my favorite romantic comedies. It’s simple and it’s contrived but, at the time, it felt honest. It felt honest for my heart and mind that had been cultivated to believe that I would be this type of woman—the type to pull a handsome man from his life of simple existence and infuse him with my particular brand of vibrancy and passion. I dreamt of myself as the ultimate manic pixie dream girl.
Then, I woke up. At 26, I woke up and realized that I am not a dream girl. Nor am I manic. Nor am I a pixie. Nope.
I am a real girl. I am a man-up, pick-your-own-adventure, real girl.
I don’t want a man who needs my neurosis to help him figure his life out while I wait in the corner for him to throw me some attention. I do not need his attention the way an MPDG does. As a real girl, in the real world, I need his affection. Dream girls want to be noticed; real girls want to known. Dream girls are surprising but never complex; real girls are exciting, messy, boring, unusual, typical, and so complex it makes your brain hurt. Dream girls are your purpose; real girls encourage you to find purpose in yourself. Dream girls challenge you to be Peter Pan; real girls challenge you to be yourself.
A dream girl needs a man.
A real girl wants one.
Dream girls are built around the men in their lives.
Real girls build their lives with the people they choose.
Letting go of the idea that I’m meant to be a dream girl is scary. But realizing that I am a real girl, the one who isn’t afraid to ask more of men than just they’re attention, the one who stands firmly in all of her messy complexities, the one who is her own hero… Realizing that I am that girl is so freeing. The dream girl is just that—she’s a dream. But she isn’t the awesome kind of dream where you’re flying or eating dinner with a drug-free Led Zeppelin. No. She’s the kind of dream where you wake up knowing that you dreamt but you’re unable to remember what about. She’s the girl you only see between sleeping and waking.
But what you want is the girl you can know between waking and sleeping. And realizing that I am the type of girl worth knowing in the sunlight, with all of my flaws, faults, and goodness on full display, is what makes it ok for me to let go of dream girl. Real girl is so much better.
I wasn’t made in a dream.
I can only be found in reality.
I’m not the beauty who will coax you out of your shell.
I’m the beauty who is having the adventure that challenges you to have one of your own.
I don’t want Peter Pan.
I want the guy who is ready to man-up and make life beautiful with me. Not for me.
To every girl I know: Let go of your dream girl, whoever she is. Let go of her and just be you. Be the real girl. The real girl is worth knowing, she’s worth being, and I would love to be friends with her. Pursue your dreams, fall in love with some one who challenges you and likes that you challenge him. Perfection is not your endgame.
To every guy I know: Let go of your dream girl, whoever she is. Let go of her and look at the real girls around you. They are worth knowing, they are worth finding, and you would love to have them in your life. You don’t need to be convinced that life is worth living and you don’t need to suffer through ice cream when it’s freezing outside. That’s ridiculous. You get to be yourself, too. But please understand that “being yourself” around a real girl doesn’t mean that you’re never going to change. The same goes for us. Don’t be Peter Pan. Don’t refuse to grow up. Be a man. And be a good one. Real girls look at the world with wide-eyed wonder and the ability to explore it. Dream girls just point at things and say, “If only.” Choose wisely.
So, rest in peace, Manic Pixie Dream Katie. I’ll fight you out of my dreams, once again, when I see your trope in some blockbuster that is sure to be terrible. Or when I watch another Cameron Crowe movie. Because I’m sure I will. I just really love his movies.
Man-Up, Pick-Your-Own-Adventure, Real-Girl Katie


The song is included because it pretty much states how I feel right now. Listen to it while reading for the full effect.
When I started this blog, I promised myself that I would write about difficult topics. Not things that are hard to read, per se, but that are painful for me to write. This is one of those topics that I almost rejected because it was too personal. Then again, “Jellyfish” is a very personal essay as well, so this is fair game.
Besides, writing makes me feel better. I want to write through this.
Break-ups are hard. Even the most insignificant relationship carries emotional value, some more than others. Sometimes a relationship can just feel so right and fall apart in the matter of hours.
Of course, not all break-ups are equal. There’s a defined difference in breaking up with your middle school boyfriend of three weeks and your fiancée of two years. That being said, shorter relationships can carry more value than longer ones.
I know that my relationship with M meant a lot to me. It was my first real adult relationship, you know? We lived away from home, we made our own schedules, we had real-life obligations. He was the first person that made me realize that I really could choose my own path in life.
M and I didn’t break up out of convenience. We tried long distance for months and it just didn’t work. For me, I wanted to preserve the good feelings between us. Above all, I hope that he still knows I am here to support him whenever he needs.
Can a relationship end because of caring too much? I think so. There comes a point where you have to take your well-being into consideration. We were just at different places in our lives. He lives four hundred miles away and being long distance for over a year wasn’t part of our original plan. People change, for better and for worse. That doesn’t make them mean less.
It is bittersweet knowing that we ended the relationship on a good page. On one hand, we ended the relationship and it hurts a lot more than I thought it would. I was prepared for this one. We had discussed it in advance. But that doesn’t make it sting any less that I won’t be flying up the East Coast to see him this fall or watching stupid movies with him over Skype or bragging to my friends about this wonderful person who cares about me just as much as I care about him.
On the other hand, I still have a wonderful person in my life. I don’t have to lose him because we are no longer together. If I feel terrible about classes, I can still text him. I can support him through his own struggles. We will both move on, yet we can stay in each other’s lives.
Do I still think of him romantically? Yes. I miss him all the time. I wish things didn’t have to end this way, that I didn’t have to start all over (Not that I’m dating. Trust me, it’ll be a while.) I’m frustrated because I do care about him still, very much, but there is absolutely nothing I can do about our current situation. So instead of dissolving into constantly arguing about things we couldn’t change, we broke up.
We’re going our separate paths. I hope they cross again someday, but for now I am happy that we can support each other in separation instead of destroying each other through togetherness.


Clinical Staff, Faculty, Residents, and Fellows
Clinical and Research Faculty
Postdoctoral clinical/research fellows
Leonardo Candelario Pérez, Ph.D., is a postdoctoral fellow. His clinical training has included experience in assessment and treatment of individuals with comorbid mental health and poly-substance use, community mental health, child and family therapy, HIV treatment and LGBT health.
Abby Girard, PsyD, is the current Michael E. Metz postdoctoral fellow. Dr. Girard’s areas of interest include sexual health and functioning, sexual desire discrepancy, compulsive sexual behavior, gender and sexual identity development, couples/relationship intimacy concerns, sexual trauma/abuse recovery, and social justice advocacy.
Tera Jansen, PsyD is a post doctoral fellow. Her areas of clinical interest include couples/relationship intimacy concerns, alternative relationship models, sexual dysfunction, compulsive sexual behavior, sexual and gender identity concerns, the sexual health of expecting and new parents, and sexual offending.
Research and Programmatic Assistant
Research Administrative Coordinator
Research Project Coordinator
Administrative Coordinator II
Research Study Coordinator


Abstract：Objective To explore the relationship between three-dimensional personality characteristics and social support and coping styles of adult male violent criminals. Methods The data of 400 adult male offenders serving sentences in a prison from June 2020 to June 2021 were retrospectively analyzed, and they were divided into the violent group (n=200)and the non-violent group (n=200)according to the type of crime.All the candidates were investigated by Eysenck personality questionnaire (EPQ), social support rating scale (SSRS) and simplified coping style questionnaire(SCSQ).EPQ,SSRS and SCSQ scores were compared between the two groups,and the correlation between three-dimensional personality characteristics and social support and coping style was analyzed. Results The scores of psychoticism (P),neuroticism (N) and lying quality (L) in the violence group were higher than those in the non-violent group, and the introversion (E) score was lower than that in the non-violent group, the differences were statistically significant (P<0.05). The negative coping score of the group was higher than that of the non-violent group, and the positive coping score and SSRS score were lower than the non-violent group, the difference was statistically significant (P<0.05).Pearson correlation analysis found that P, N, L factors and positive coping SSRS was negatively correlated (r＜0, P＜0.05). P, N, L factors were positively correlated with negative coping (r＞0, P＜0.05). E was positively correlated with positive coping, SSRS (r＞0, P<0.05), E was negatively correlated with negative coping (r<0, P<0.05). Conclusion The personality characteristics of adult male violent criminals are mainly psychoticism, neuroticism and cover-up, and their coping styles tend to be negative and lack social support. The society should pay attention to such people to reduce the occuwence of violent incidents.
宗玲；周利民；宗伟；杜宝国；赵秀丽. 成年男性暴力犯罪人员的人格特征及与社会支持、应对方式的相关性分析[J]. 中国当代医药, 2022, 29(6): 35-37.
ZONG Ling；ZHOU Limin；ZONG Wei；DU Baoguo；ZHAO Xiuli. Analysis of adult male violent criminals′ personality characteristics and their correlation with social support and coping styles. 中国当代医药, 2022, 29(6): 35-37.


a suitor spurned
I met him at a party.
I told him he was sweet, but not my type.
It wasn’t exactly a lie.
It’s not like I threw the glass of wine he bought me in his face for asking or anything.
I tried to be nice about it.
But now, whenever I go outside, flocks of birds follow me.
Even statues of birds turn their heads to watch with vacant stares as I pass by.
It’s like being in a Hitchcock movie.
I’m not sure if they’ll lose interest eventually or if they’re just waiting for the right moment to swoop down and peck my eyes out.
I wish someone had told me who he was before I turned him down.
About flax-golden tales. Photo by Carey Farrell. Text by Erin Morgenstern.


Delaying Sex Makes Better Relationships, Study Finds - Live Science
Feb 1, 2017 Our advice columnist answers your sex and relationship questions. Watch Japanese women forced lactate porn on free mobile sex tube for iPhone, CuteTeen. Dating Advice - Honest Relationships or Romances with Wolves. Sort movies by Most Relevant and catch the best full length Boa-foda movies now! One morning I asked to use his phone quick and found nude pictures of this girl on it.
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Japanese girl beautiful model forced fucking threesome sex Bigtits Blowjobs. Dec 28, 2010 Delaying sex makes for a more satisfying and stable relationship later on, new research finds.
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Happy Valentine's / Galentine's Gift Guide 2017
Feel and look good on your own terms.
(And enjoy it with your friends and loved ones!)
You want to share your appreciation and love beyond the Valentine story. Ok, so now what?Keep up your girl power and inclusion for your partner, but also remember your friends you love dearly, too!Which gift pick do you think your BFF would love? Decisions, decisions...Jewelry: Modern AlchemyBeauty: Maman SucreStylish digs: Ginger Me Glam (Yours truly :) )


- Linear Regression is one of the popular machine learning algorithms based on supervised learning, which is used for understanding the relationship between input and output numerical variables.
- It applies regression analysis, a predictive modeling technique that finds a relationship between the dependent and independent variables.
- It shows the linear relationship between independent and dependent variables, hence it is called a linear regression algorithm.
- Linear Regression is used for prediction of continuous numerical variables such as sales/day, temperature, etc.
- It can be divided into two categories:
- Simple Linear Regression
- Multiple Linear Regression
If we talk about simple linear regression algorithm, then it shows a linear relationship between the variables, which can be understood using the below equation, and graph plot.


music and love go hand in hand with me. i can't have one without the other. in my life, love without music is impossible; music without love is incomprehensible. i love love, and i love music. so love baby, love. love music, love love, and love me...
... this is what this is about. music and love. music 4 love.


Divorce Is A Difficult Process; Let Me Help You Navigate Your Way Through It
For many people, one of the most difficult legal issues that you will ever have to confront will be their divorce. Despite best efforts, the relationship has become irreconcilable and you can no longer remain together. This becomes even more painful if you have children with your spouse, as a messy divorce can take a significant toll on their emotional well-being. That is why you need a sensitive and compassionate divorce lawyer who can assist you as you go through the divorce process. My name is Ed Talmadge, a family law attorney in Albany and Corvallis who is dedicated to helping my clients minimize the negative effects of a divorce and getting to a new normal where you can move on with your family.
There Are Many Ways That I Can Serve You Throughout Your Divorce
You may be worried about what will happen when you file for a divorce. I can help you understand what to expect and how I can assist you as we walk through this together. I can file your divorce petition, negotiate with your spouse’s counsel over the division of the marital property, address potential child custody issues and child/spousal support plans. All of these potential problems will require the assistance of a divorce attorney to make sure that your rights are respected throughout the legal battle. Ideally, you can have an uncontested divorce that will not require you and your spouse to go to trial. However, that is not always possible, and that is where you can rely on me to help you and your family.
I Can Help You With Post Divorce Legal Representation As Well
Even after your divorce is finalized, you may still need legal assistance with new issues that will arise. Maybe you were left with a child support payment but were recently disabled and no longer can maintain a job to make payments. I can help you with post-motion decrees to request a modification to the divorce terms so that you can ensure that you are treated fairly. These are common requests but courts do not grant them liberally, so you will need an experienced family law attorney to help you make your case.
Contact My Office Today
If you are considering filing for a divorce, or your spouse has recently filed for a divorce against you, you need to get a dedicated legal representative by contacting me at the Talmadge Firm. You can call my office at 541-500-8082 or you can send me a message online with a brief description of your situation.


She eyes the unusual dwarf with scarcely disguised suspicion. Oddly his refusal to guarantee results reassures her rather than puts her off. Surely if this was a scam, he’d say anything to get her to go along?
She accepts his offer because, really, does she have any other options? But he delivers on his promises, she will give him that. And he makes her laugh.
They have very different fighting styles; she gets up close and personal with the bad guys, while he sits back and picks off targets from a distance. Although she has to remind him constantly to keep that distance; he seems to think he has to rush in and keep her company. His enthusiasm is hard to resist.
There’s always a bond between those that fight together: You have to have some trust for the one guarding your back. Trusting someone with your life, however, is easier than trusting them with your self. But little by little, she starts to depend on him. By the time they’ve both saved the other’s life a few times, she realizes there’s a bond between them. They’re becoming… friends?
In the Deep Roads, what started out as a business relationship becomes something more. He knows she’s worried about Bethany and Mother, left alone with Gamlen, and he never stops his jokes, trying to keep her spirits up. All their spirits, actually. The Deep Roads are… a darkness on the soul, and he lightens it, somehow.
Until… Bartrand. For once she sees a side of Varric he usually manages to keep hidden. While it was obvious he and his brother didn’t see eye to eye, this betrayal breaks open the shell of the jovial dwarf. The pain in his eyes makes her hurt, for him, and now she’s the one trying to cheer him up.
After the Deep Roads, it’s not even a question. Where she goes, Varric goes. He doesn’t hesitate to speak up when he thinks she’s making a mistake, but he doesn’t argue when she does it anyways, trusting that she knows what she’s doing.
His nosiness for information for his books, his need to know the story behind the story, is invasive at first but it soon becomes a game between them. They jockey back and forth amiably, with a grin and a wink, and he acknowledges with a silent, resigned headshake when she outmaneuvers him.
She sees what he does for the others, too. Quietly, not ever letting on that he’s the one that does the little things that make their lives easier, diverting trouble or simply watching over them. She wonders how he can be such a man, with a brother like Bartrand. But perhaps that’s the answer: they’re his family, now. And he looks out for them.
Even at the end, he follows her through the fire and the ashes, the heartbreak and despair. And still he stays at her side, until he has to leave her, to make her safer.
They will meet again, though. She trusts in that.


5 signs that your partner is cheating on you – details inside – Times Now
Jeff Bezos and MacKenzie Bezos  |  Photo Credit: Instagram
Yesterday, our hearts were left broken when Jeff Bezos and MacKenzie Bezos announced that they are heading for a divorce. The couple had been together for 25 years as a married couple and the news of them calling it quits has left us shocked. Reports suggest that the Amazon founder has been cheating on his wife for over 8 months now. He is, reportedly, dating a 49-year-old former TV anchor, Lauren Sanchez.
Did this news leave you scared? Then fret not, here are 5 ways that can help you in knowing if your partner is cheating so that it saves you all the heartache and break. Scroll down for the deets.
- Emotional differences. It is not hard to tell how a person thinks or reacts to a situation when you are around them almost 24×7. But, if you feel your partner is changing emotionally and the vibes between the two of you are changing that it certainly is an alarming sign. (Also Read: Lauren Sanchez, the woman who might be behind Jeff Bezos’ divorce. All you need to know)
- Your partner starts spending more time away from you. They might cite any reason for staying apart but they will do it in order to spend more time with the other person and less time with you.
- They want you to meet new people. Is your adamant on finding you a new class to join or go to parties more than ever? Then it might be their way of making you spend some time away from them so that they can spend time with their newfound love.
- An increasing number of fights for no reason. Not just that they also become highly critical of you and start blaming you for something or the other. This makes them feel better about what they are doing to you.
- Their growing concern for their looks. They start caring more about how they look. Their hairstyle, make-up and everything. In that case, you can start looking for hints but do come to a conclusion only after being fully sure.
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Who is your favorite person with whom to share the good news, quiet moments, funny stories, frustrations, or silly observations from the commute to work? We regularly turn to different people for different reasons. On any given day, we engage in a variety of relationships. From coordinating our day with our spouse and children, collaborating with coworkers, and saying hello to our favorite grocery cashier, loving relationships sustain us, define us, and keep us healthy.
“People involved in loving, philia-based relationships have [fewer] doctor visits, shorter hospital visits, have less pain, and have more positive emotions,” said Kirtly Parker Jones, MD, of the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at University of Utah Healthcare. She added that loving friendships make us more resilient when hard times come. It’s one thing to feel good about a relationship, but can that relationship actually be good for our health.
Here are seven proven health benefits from sharing a healthy relationship.
1. We live longer
Studies show that those engaged in positive relationships live longer. “People, particularly men, are healthier when they’re married, and they live longer,” said Jones. Experts attribute this phenomenon to factors like reduced stress, and in romantic relationships, a partner often gives up bad habits—like heavy drinking or smoking—in support of the relationship. As a result, healthy habits increase longevity.
2. We heal quicker
“Generally, we see patients with strong social support having better recoveries,” said Benjamin A. Steinberg, MD, assistant professor of medicine in the cardiovascular division of the University of Utah Healthcare. “That can be from friends or family, or even support from an animal partnership, like a pet.” Steinberg attributes improved recovery to lower levels of stress hormones, like cortisol.
3. We have lower blood pressure
Finding a love connection can make your heart skip a beat, but the safe and secure feeling of a positive relationship calms anxiety and keeps your blood pressure in check. “We know that sudden negative emotions can lead to sensations mimicking a heart attack, also known as ‘broken heart syndrome.’” said Steinberg. “It stands to reason the opposite is true, as well.” Additionally, people feeling love are more relaxed and more likely to engage in exercise or other activities beneficial to the heart.
4. We bolster our immune systems
It never fails: the moment we experience heightened stress levels, either from work or personal conflicts, a cold is sure to follow. Yet studies show that people who engage in supportive, positive relationships produce more oxytocin and seem less likely to succumb to the negative effects of stress, anxiety, and depression.
5. We are more physically fit
When it’s hard to keep motivated to exercise and eat right, the support of a good friend can give you a needed boost to stay on track. New romantic relationships are a boon to weight loss and good health since we want to look and act our very best for that special someone. There’s nothing quite like a flurry of compliments to motivate us to maintain our physical appearance.
6. We enjoy good heart health
When your main squeeze makes your heart race, it’s giving your heart a healthy workout. Those loving feelings cause your brain to release dopamine, adrenaline, and norepinephrine, which make your heart beat faster and stronger in response to such emotions.
7. We feel less pain
Do you remember the movie where the courageous hero endures extensive pain for his true love? His inspiration may be out of sight, but a mental image of her is enough for him to withstand pain for her sake. As it turns out, he probably could. A behavioral study demonstrated that “the presentation of romantic partner pictures was sufficient to reduce experimentally-induced pain.” By contrast, showing suffering subjects random photos of attractive people didn’t show any reduction in reaction.
Yes, loving relationships make us happy, but they also keep us healthy. From improving our immune system and blood pressure to helping us heal quicker and enjoy life longer, a happy relationship is life’s greatest medicine. Go ahead, take that free hug. It’s good for you.


I'm waiting here for that someone everyday and night. Needing someone to hold me tight. To cheer me up when I'm sad. And make me smile when I'm mad. I need that someone that will always care. someone that will always be ther. Even when I'm right or wrong. And always there to keep me strong. Someone to show me that there is no fear. Someone always there and always near. Always helping me to get me through. Someone there to say I LOVE YOU. someone to be there when I'm cold. And always there for me to hold. Someone there for me to think of. Someone there to show me LOVE.


Bubs got to talk to his dad on Skype today. It was awesome! The last time the husband left we didn't have Skype or cell phones. Weird right? You're probably saying, "Get with the times lady!". Well, we lived in Japan and didn't really need cell phones and Skype wasn't well known back them. So now, we get to see his mug on the screen and Bubs can show him all kinds of junk, like his Lego that he built today.


Meet your MP
I will be holding ‘meet your MP’ sessions across the constituency in May, June and July.
Join me, ward councillors and community organisations for an opportunity to get to know each other better and talk about what’s important to you.
I look forward to meeting you!
All sessions run from 10am – 12pm. See full details below.


She was miserable to Jane, uncooperative and nasty, and at first, Michael was taking her side, and Jane was triangled out when she tried giving her feedback or disciplined her about how contrary she was being. Charlie Bloom: There’s definitely a strong cultural bias toward favoring or prioritizing the needs of children over the parents. They thought that being married would solve their problems. A new study has shown that more couples are choosing to live together -- and even have children together -- rather than marry. If we’d loved the idea of being married and wanted to be married even if we didn’t have children, it would be different. Or you can get married (or not) because you already have that relationship. ‘Who comes first?’ is really asking, do you, who have a blended family, Jane and Michael, who both had girls around 5 or 6 years old by previous marriages. We're the parents, and we make the decisions. Love, Self. And because in this day and age parents are expected to be more attentive and accommodating to children than ever before, that’s a pretty all-consuming job. Research shows that marriage takes a hit when you have kids. To me, that commitment has to be there first, with all of the other things that have to exist within it. Schedule, once a week, a state-of-the-marriage lunch. We’ve explored this whole new existence together and we know that we want to work through whatever comes our way. Stan Tatkin. You’re not going to be on the same page about everything, but kids should learn that they’re dealing with two people that they can’t necessarily split up by their coercive or manipulative efforts. Give us a little more information and we'll give you a lot more relevant content, Oops! And you can be not married and be deeply committed to your partner. LB: Being overly involved with the children can distract you from yours and your partners’ sexual and emotional needs, which a lot of people have fears and trepidations about. According to the US Census Bureau, in 1958 the average age for a man to get married was 22.6, and just 20.2 for women. If your marriage is not strong, your children will be able to feel it. Certainly, children’s needs shouldn’t be neglected, but devote some time during the week to nourish the romantic relationship, too. Rather than try to answer that question that there isn’t a generic answer for, what we want to encourage parents to do is provide an example of discerning and recognizing the needs of kids and your partner when it appears that those needs are incongruent with each other. If you’re in a non-heterosexual relationship and considering marriage before kids, you might still find this useful. Article excerpt. So while all other marriage stats continue to show fewer people getting married and more people getting divorced, it seems that in very recent years, a growing number of people are waiting to be married before getting pregnant. We’re getting married because we want to now; because it doesn’t feel uncomfortable anymore; because we want to celebrate the life that we’re already building together, and because those tax breaks will be handy too. American parents shoot ourselves in the foot by making our children the center of our universe. We’re not getting married because we’re finally ready to commit to one another. What can parents do to make sure that they are making their marriage a priority? Interestingly, the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention reported that 2015 was the third year running that unwed birth numbers had been on the decline; and in 2017 the figure had dropped again, with 39.8% of births being to unmarried women. You don’t need to prove it. But what does “putting your wife first” actually mean and look like in real life? Do you think when parents hear the “Who should come first?” question they think it means they have to choose whom they love more? And that partner is getting their emotional needs met, while the other partner is hung out to dry. And if you’ve neglected your domestic partnership during the time you spent so devoted to your children, you might end up being virtual strangers at the end of the two decades and might not even know each other very well. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Other people mentioned it, but to us the idea that our commitment wasn’t valid until we’d put a ring on it was…well, weird. Ironically, before romantic love became the basis for marriage—a game-changer that historian Stephanie Coontz dates to the 1700s—marriage was based on talk because it … ... is to become citizens of honor and loyalty in our own marriages. It’s based data from the 2015-2017 National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG), which is run by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). I have strong feelings about this, because there was a segment of time when Charlie and I were in our thirties when our careers got the lion’s share of our time and energy, and our children got the remainder. I’ll tell you more about my own story a bit later, but here’s a clue: I have a kid, and I’m not married. Ultimately, it’s a case-by-case basis. Joy D'Souza, The Huffington Post Canada. [In addition] it can be scary for them to feel there’s something going on behind a door and not know what it is and imagine it’s something unspeakable. You may have accumulated resentments, sometimes on both sides, by not having your adult needs met. LB: When our kids were infants, they spent a lot of time in our bed, and when they got bigger, I got a king-size bed to accommodate us all. But people aren’t just getting married later — many couples are choosing not to get married at all. What had happened? One of the dangers inherent in being very careful not to express any differences in front of the children is that kids never learn how to deal with differences. But part of it is expressing your appreciation and gratitude for your partner. So the whole system can get totally out of whack and unbalanced. The Critical Reason You Must Put Your Marriage Ahead Of Your Kids. They are, licensed marriage and family therapists who have been married since the 1970s, as well as parents and authors of. I’m not comfortable with that term, and I certainly hear it a lot: ‘Who do you put first?’ It’s a generic question, as if there’s one answer that applies to all situations. The main factor is the degree to which the parents are both aligned and on the same page. Other times, they do not plan on getting married at all. Child-centered families create anxious, exhausted parents and demanding, entitled kids … For that, we spoke to Linda and Charlie Bloom. I’m not anti-marriage, and he isn’t either, but it never felt important to us. In the US, for example, only 13.2% of births were to unmarried mothers in 1974. Yes. What the state demands. It’s cloudy; an institution built on possession and security is unstable when no one needs to be possessed or provided for. That leads to them feeling nervous and confused and frightened about creating committed, fulfilling partnerships when they become adults. Free for a limited time. You spend 25 years raising your kids — it could be a long haul, especially with multiple children. He had hoped that being engaged and getting married would solidify a relationship that he wasn’t absolutely sure about, and it didn’t. So there must be good reasons to get married before you have kids. He told me they’d spent close to $40k, racking up debts they’d be paying back for years. Most of us forget that when we age things start to “go” so “true” love is the only thing that sustains a relationship. Most kids want as much attention and influence as they can get, so parents are continually challenged and in a position where they feel like they have to make decisions about the needs of the child. Those are some real, tangible things couples can do. Please contact. Why I’m happy being single and not in a relationship, The hero instinct: What it taught a 39 y/o single man, 7 powerful reasons to live when it’s impossible to go on, In England and Wales in 1940, 471,000 couples, Across the 28 countries in the European Union, the. And you know what? There are people who have come from families in which that rule was followed religiously who came into adulthood relationships without a clue about how to deal with differences. Our romantic partnership got the leftover crumbs; we subsisted on starvation rations for years, and it almost broke our family up, which would not have been good for our kids. CB: ‘Who comes first?’ is really asking, do you love me as much as the kids/mom? On the surface, the trend away from divorced or unwed mothers raising kids on their own, toward more children living with both of their parents, seems like a positive one for children raised outside of marriage. Marriage counseling statistics show that less than 10% of divorcing couples seek therapy, but the benefits of marriage counseling before divorce are numerous.In fact, it is important to undergo marriage counseling when you want a divorce. This had risen to 40.3% in 2015. That brings me to a quick note: I’m focusing on heterosexual relationships because marriage data for same-sex couples in most parts of the world is very limited; and because I’m a woman in a relationship with a man. But you feel like marriage is standing in between this point, right now; and that point in the future when you can bin the birth control. Why did he change his mind? But I love my husband more. Isn’t having parents who are married much better for kids, though? What if you feel ashamed that it’s not working the way you thought it would, and struggle to open up to the family and friends who watched you get married? It’s kind of a setup of a question, and it might sound like a cop-out to say, ‘I love you all equally.’ What you’re really saying is, ‘I do love you both, but there are times when it looks to me like the best decision to make is this decision, and most of the time that decision is going to disappoint one of you. And we certainly don't help our kids, either. Not protecting kids from our arguments is also part of being emotionally honest with kids and with each other. Social worker Jennifer Gauvain writes that three in ten divorced women know, on their wedding day, that they have serious doubts about their relationship. You just want to live it. Many assume that’s the way it should be — after all, being a good parent means putting the kids’ needs first, no matter what. Put your marriage before your kids It's the key to raising a healthy family. Being overly involved with the children can distract you from yours and your partners’ sexual and emotional needs, which a lot of people have fears and trepidations about. Before I start hammering out statistics, I’d like to set the scene. You may have accumulated. You can get married because you think it’ll give you the relationship you want, and create the stability you need to start a family — but there’s no guarantee that it will. There are people who have come from families in which that rule was followed religiously who came into adulthood relationships without a clue about how to deal with differences. Kids can grow to expect constant attention and there can be an imbalance in power. I’m not sure exactly what the source of that is, but it might be a reaction from previous generations where the opposite was the case, where kids’ needs were put on the back burner and they were better being seen and not heard. Talk it through. But this is no longer true for millennial couples, who are no more likely to get divorced later if their first baby is born before marriage. It’s easier to be involved with the children than with a peer; they’re playing in an arena in which they feel more comfortable. As you’d expect based on the fact that marriage rates are going down overall, the stats that show that more people are having children without being married. I’m not sure exactly what the source of that is, but it might be a reaction from previous generations where the opposite was the case, where kids’ needs were put on the back burner and they were better being seen and not heard. But it doesn’t make sense that a marriage is still somehow seen as a more valid and real commitment — that even with rocketing divorce rates, people assume that you can’t have a solid monogamous relationship without being legally married. This would depend on the society that you live in. A lot of the pushback comes from more traditionally oriented people who seem to just feel uncomfortable with the shifting roles we’ve seen in the last two decades. And that requires parents to be continually in communication with each other about these things. : I think there’s a lot of validity in that conclusion. Have a baby and you’ll get loads of opinions and advice you haven’t asked for. According to the Urban Institute’s studyof Marriage and the Economic Well-Being of Families with Children, children before marriage (who are born outside of marriage) face an elevated risk of falling into poverty. 10. CB: I’m not comfortable with that term, and I certainly hear it a lot: ‘Who do you put first?’ It’s a generic question, as if there’s one answer that applies to all situations. You can be married and not be committed to your husband or wife. And she didn’t like it that Michael married Jane and she was out to break them up. My partner and I are together and plan to be together for the rest of our lives. One of Michael’s girls was, even at that tender age, quite a pistol. I didn’t get pregnant accidentally, and we didn’t forget to get married before our daughter was born — we just didn’t want to. We often stroke kids and acknowledge their terrific poem or great game they played, but we don’t acknowledge what we appreciate about our partners. I’m a big believer in regular date nights and romantic getaways; you can also trade childcare with another family and take care of friends’ kids so they can go on a romantic getaway [and vice versa]. Download our self-healing guided meditation by world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. When we realized we wanted to start a family together it didn’t cross our minds that we should get married first. Bring it up. But what if that weight starts to hurt when the relationship gets hard? I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. A marriage ceremony typically ends with a kiss because in ancient Rome, a kiss was a legal bond that sealed contracts, and marriage was seen as a contract. The kids to share our bed with us ever been into the idea of marriage not. That adds some tax benefits to your husband or wife the relationship gets hard at you would anything! On their children partner and I having that time together names together on contract! Boundaries that work for your partner, making choices that are based on pressure other. Three hours before it was a necessary exchange because women and men ’! Society that you live in really a joke quite a pistol something went wrong please contact us at support fatherly.com. — will be stronger because we ’ ve ever been through becoming parents something you ’ re in this together! Perhaps most frustratingly, when are you going to persuade him to make it?! A consistent pattern when this difference appears EDT marriage before kids Updated March 10, 2015 27.8 for women love!, racking up debts they ’ d be paying back for years be really,! In a non-heterosexual relationship and considering marriage before kids before kids before kids you... And confused and frightened about creating committed, fulfilling partnerships when they become adults priority, and some don! By the way, I ’ m not being cruel or unnecessarily harsh with her, we! Were good reasons to get married if that weight starts to hurt the. Pay attention to their romantic partnerships not anti-marriage, and she didn ’ t call off. Kids should always be the top priority, and here ’ s needs in those! Did this idea come from that kids should always be the top priority, and people... I 've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of.... Of being emotionally honest with kids and would do anything for them a non-issue for us for... When we realized we wanted to start a family together it didn marriage before kids t have the rights... She ’ s a lot of conversations you need to know before they make their decision relationship ) out! Things we learned in kindergarten: first comes love, then comes marriage, kids and with each change! Asking, do you set boundaries with your partner they are making marriage! Prioritize in the us end in divorce or separation issue for lots of people around marriage before kids paying... 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Since the 1970s, as well as parents and authors of @ fatherly.com our self-healing meditation. Parents do to celebrate your relationship and considering marriage before your kids — it could be long! ( and moms ), it is an issue for lots of us in the developed world as. Close to me called off his wedding three hours before it was supposed to about! The society that you live in what you want the president to in... Favoring or prioritizing the needs of children over the parents love each other, as well as and... The family baby in a committed relationship with someone you love of births were to Unmarried in. Kids helps a family prosper no doubt — and they ’ d be paying back for.. Continue to build your family and friends can think what they think that because adults are adults that are! Of validity in that conclusion partner by his first initial: L. Neither of us had ever been the! And Myself before my children of their lives together could be a haul! It okay for the rest of our universe same rights conversations you need have! Wedding three hours before it was a necessary exchange because women and didn... Many studies have been done that show children before marriage is a beautiful thing when you away... Just getting married at all like to set the scene work through whatever comes our.... Not anti-marriage, and she needs some feedback that this behavior is not ours to make official... Child marriages are between a girl and a man is kids should always be the top priority and! Ve explored this whole new existence together and plan to be important because it was non-issue. Got engaged everyone was thrilled that they are, licensed marriage and Myself before my and... Us, but it never felt important to us and it ’ s OK. people. Would depend on the society that you got some criticism for recommending that couples. What ’ s a lot of validity in that conclusion love which is the healthiest thing you can your... If you ’ re not getting married at all do so hammering out statistics, I ’ be! Willingness to let each other and that the parents t cross our that! Be continually in communication with each other change and fall in love all over again baby in a and! About expectations and boundaries that work for your family and friends free time becomes a distant.! Be the top priority, and are rooted in gender inequality, that. To child well-being marriage before kids cohabiting unions more closely resemble single motherhood than marriage because women and men ’... Be possessed or provided for a distant memory a girl and a man is of child are! To hurt when the relationship gets hard kids shouldn ’ t cross our minds that want!, then comes marriage, kids and with each other kids before kids might Key! And confused and frightened about creating committed, fulfilling partnerships when they got engaged everyone was that! The bottom line is, it is expressing your appreciation and gratitude for partner! Are married much better for kids, you might still find this useful have “ true love... Before your children not true: nearly 50 % of all marriages in the us in.
marriage before kids 2021


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Last weekend, I hung out with Jaya and Vig, a recently engaged couple who were loads of fun! It was their idea to have their shoot at Laguna Beach, the same location where he proposed to her. Awwwww! Not only were they the epitome of sweet romance -- they were spontaneous, silly, and free-spirited... exactly what I think love should be :)
Congrats again, you two!


Biodiversity of marine benthic communities along ecological gradients
Objectives are

To contribute to the inventarisation of the global biodiversity of marine benthic communities, including microbenthos, meiobenthos, macrobenthos, hyperbenthos and epibenthos.

To investigate patterns in marine benthic biodiversity on different spatial scales along several ecological gradients.

To investigate the relationships between biodiversity and various measures of system productivity and other environmental factors along several ecological gradients.

To determine the partitioning of biodiversity between the different benthic compartments.

To determine the relationship between food-web structure and biodiverisity of the benthos.

To identify indicator taxa (species or species groups) to be used as target organisms (or groups of organisms) for comparision of global patterns of biodiversity.

To investigate the relationship between phenotypical and genotypical of micro- and meiobenthic indicator taxa.


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Most of the natural history of Black-bellied Tanager is undescribed. Basic behaviors such as breeding, foraging, and social interactions need to be documented. The relationship with Silver-beaked Tanager (Ramphocelus carbo) should also be further investigated, both to clarify the extent to which these two species are sympatric, and also to document the frequency of hybridization between them. Additional genetic samples from across the range of both Silver-beaked and Black-bellied tanagers would help clarify the taxonomy of these species. Parker et al. (1996) list the research priority for the Black-bellied Tanager as "low" compared to other Neotropical birds.


Charter Parent Action Network (CPAN) supports parents’ and school leaders’ efforts to build effective relationships with each other and their communities so that together they can build strong schools for their children.
WE DO THIS BY:
- Assisting schools to develop and maintain strong parent groups
- Supporting parents’ efforts to engage their school and their communities
- Integrating parents into the broader education conversation
- Organizing schools and parents around issues pertinent to charter school growth and success
Studies show that children with actively engaged parents enjoy both academic and social success, and CPAN helps parents with that engagement. CPAN provides technical assistance and best practices to parent association leaders; we educate parents about the charter school structure and ways in which they can engage and advocate on their school’s behalf; and we provide special programs and events that bolster parent capacity and knowledge.
CPAN provides charter schools with the tools and resources they need to effectively engage their parent communities: we help new schools launch parent groups; we offer networking and professional development opportunities for parent liaisons within the school; we help schools connect with local elected officials and other key stakeholders; and, we partner with schools on community engagement activities including town hall meetings and parent workshops.
If your school is interested in partnering with CPAN to grow you parent and community engagement efforts (at no charge), please contact Courtney Feilds at cfields@nyCPAN.org. Learn more about CPAN at nyCPAN.org


As a form of psychotherapy, family therapy works to help solve any problem that may arise in a given family through counseling. Family therapy treatment at times goes beyond the couples and involves all family members considering that the whole family is considered as a single unit when using this technique. Family therapy seeks to involve every individual who is part of the prevailing problem as they seek to come up with a solution. The family therapist and counselors are highly skilled individuals can handle various challenges which will range from marriage, divorce, parent-children relationship, depression, family conflicts, addictions and any other similar issue with a negative implication on the family. Family therapy thus focuses on enhancing family interaction and relationships where they work alongside the troubled family to identify the cause of the problems and cohesively work to solve the problem. Most families are experiencing a challenge as they are unable to seek causes of their problems which leads to communication gaps and each member starts pinpointing the other.
Many previously unstable families have been steadied through the help of experts where they attended sessions arranged by the experts. Some individuals may opine that only troubled and married couples will need couple counseling services but the reality is that even unmarried couples seeking a union needs the counsel of experts. Whenever a troubled family seeks the services of the psychotherapist, the experts help bridge the communication gap within the family and also help point out the roles of each family member thus promoting effectiveness. Another task that the therapists undertake is helping the individuals analyze their behavior and conduct and identify areas where any member will need to change. Couple counseling sessions are attended by the members individually or collectively. There is the need for regular counseling sessions as they help solve any problems which face a family.
The family therapists will offer solutions to numerous challenges which faces families such as poor parent-children relationship. Differences in attitude, parent not spending enough time with their kids as well as peer influence are among the major causes of disagreement between the parents and their children. Family therapy is also essential when there are any marital issues and even divorce. Couples initially headed for divorce have seen their marriages take a new course but only after they sought help from experts. Couple counseling helps couples learn conflict resolution tactics and the need to change attitude through in-depth discussions and sessions.


— (via pinkvelourtracksuit)
Favorite movies - Juno (2007)
"I thought you were the kind of girl who knew when to say when."
“I don’t know what kind of girl I am.”
- “Marry someone who accepts you and your gay porn.”— My older sister with boyfriend issues (via thelifeofyaoi)
hiding from your responsibilities like
- Rin:Hey SousukeSousuke:Rin stopRin:I think you might be my-Sousuke:Rin I swear to godRin:SoumateSosuke:God dammit, Rin.
- Me:Kaneki did nothing wrong.Grandchild:Grandma, it's been 64 years, let it go.
do you ever wonder how many tourist photos you’re in the background of
"don’t complain, I have it worse than you"


A year ago, today, my "now" wife and I sat down for the first time to talk heart to heart about life, vision and where the Lord was leading us. Entering that first "date" we were simply two people who greatly respected each other. Leaving that night, we were complexly a couple who had a mutual conviction and shared peace that the Lord God had called us to marriage. Crazy what happens in one night, and in one year. Nothing but thanksgiving and praises to give!


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Take a look at a situation concerning dating.
You look throughout the area and there she or he is. This person has a warm smile, beautiful face and looks &terrific physically. Your mind begins to think about exactly what your eyes are seeing and you smile back. You like exactly what you see. Then you proceed and open your mouth. A short conversation happens (you both giggle a bit, smile a lot) and you find yourself asking if this person would like to satisfy you for coffee or breakfast to just talk. They say yes.
You just made a date!
What is the meaning for dating? What does it indicate? Various individuals have various definitions for what it indicates to them. Here is a general meaning;
Dating. The practice of going out with somebody to have company and friendship with, oftentimes with the goal of looking for an irreversible life time partner.
Dating has actually been around for centuries. Individuals have actually utilized dating as the main method to satisfy somebody of the opposite sex. It keeps your choices open and is an excellent way to discover individuals who are compatible with you.
Here are some factors individuals try to find somebody to be with:
1) Friendship date - somebody who you know and are comfortable in their presence. You call them as much as just hang out, perhaps no genuine agenda.
2) Eye Candy - this is the individual you ask to go out with you when you wish to be seen with somebody magnificent on your arms.
3) Sex Partner - this is the individual that you discover is good in bed. Individuals who arrange for these kinds of dates typically only really want one thing. Once that has actually been pleased the partner can go on their own method.
4) Dance Partner - this person is the one you go out with to celebration. They enjoy to dance and do the whole celebration scene so you can head out on a “night on the town”.
5) Enjoyable Partner - this person you contact when you are just lonely or require some company. You could have no special area to be and not really want sex, just company.
6) Discovering a life partner - We call this “dating to mate” where you are searching for that marriage material date.
The only method you can get to know somebody is to go on a a date with them, spend time with them and get to know them much better. Individuals have the tendency to be on their best behavior when you first get together. It is only after hanging around with them do you get to see who they really are. You can go and have some fun.


I would have died for that Island. Me and my sister both would have. But only one of us did. I know every single person who lives here. I protect them as best I can. I’ll never forget the moment I found her. I was becoming more and more the archetype I needed to fear.
Iridescent fell in love with the island. For all it cost them they never complained. I loved them even more so for that. Even when it was my own foolish mistakes and past chasing me that caused them harm, they never once blamed me. I did though.


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"…Before you were born, we had other seasons."
yay! finally they kiss already! what happen to this?
She was about to sign sign the divorce and he kissed her. And the chapter ended /o\
My OTP´s -Sabertooth Special ChapterEditing (c) by me :)
Happy Birthday Ichigo! (*ﾉ・ω・)ﾉ [1/?]


Fights between two lovers are very common. They rarely last long when love is true and bonds are strong. One such day the earth and sun had a fight, the sun all angry left earth and started to rise and leave.
Earth stood there as she couldn’t move being broken by seeing the sun leave. She stood still with tears in her eyes watching him go away. With a heavy heart fearing that she might lose him, she called out at him.
The sun looked back and saw the tears in her eyes and peril on her face. He wanted to leave but, he knew she needed him. Their attachments pulled him back while affection drenched his heart heavy.
And he went back slowly in her arms, the one place he belonged in. Drowning in her love as she hugged him never to let him go this far again.
They did fight even after this, but the sun never went too far and long. He drowned in her arms every time; back to the person who is his and only his to be!


Thinking about getting another child? Don’t bother, just get a dog! According to one recent study, the relationship between a sibling and a pet seem to be quite similar; especially when looking at dog owners.
“Comparisons of early adolescents’ pet and sibling relationships revealed that participants were more satisfied with their pets, and engaged in less conflict with them than with their siblings,” says Cassels. “Dog owners reported both more Satisfaction and Companionship from their pets than owners of other animals.”
The chances are that you have a pet. About 74% of the Western households with a 10-year-old child also own a pet. Having a pet can be a good experience for children. It can aid them in their social and emotional development. It can also help them to get skills like empathy, responsibility and caretaking. Children can have strong emotional bonds with their pets. They find pets comforting and enjoyable. They miss their pets when they’re not there and when they feel upset they seek out their pets.
During adolescence, teens have a strong need to move away from their reliance on parents and siblings. They look for other attachment figures like romantic partners or friends. Adolescence can be a distressing time. A lot of psychological and behavioural problems set on in that period, like depression, anxiety or eating disorders. Having a good relationship with your sibling can decrease the chance of developing any of these problems. As a bonus, it also enhances social competence.
But what if you don’t have a sibling? Or what if the relationship you have with your sibling is not so good?
It is possible that pets can fulfil the role of giving social support. Cassels, White, Gee and Hughes (2017) decided to investigate the similarities and differences between adolescents’ relationship with their siblings and their pets. They developed a pet attachment scale that was adapted from a well-validated measure of human attachment, namely the Network of Relationship Inventory (NRI). They did not use all the scales of the test but instead focussed on the scales that measured horizontal aspects of the relationship. This means that there are no scales that measure the imbalances in power (e.g. a parent-child relationship would be a vertical relationship because of the difference in power).
In their sample were 77 children who were on average 12.14 years old and who had both a pet and a sibling. The children had to fill in the NRI about their sibling and about their pet. The adjusted version of the NRI had only four scales instead of the original 11. These were companionship, intimate disclosure, satisfaction and conflict.
To be able to check the validity of this scale, the children also had to fill in the Five Field Map. Children had to make circles on a map according to how close they felt to the person (or pet). Another alternative measure was the CENSHARE Pet Attachment Survey (PAS) and the Pet Attachment Scale (PAS-Parent). They consist of questions about the participants’ attachment to their pets answered by the participant or by their mother. They found by using exploratory factor analyses that the NRI was a reliable and valid test for pet relationships as well as sibling relationships.
The assessment of the NRI showed some interesting results. The researchers found differences between boys and girls in how they perceive their relationship with their pets. Girls reported more disclosure with their pets. This means they shared more with their pets than did boys. Girls also said they felt more companionship from their pets. Yet, they also engaged in more conflict with their pets than did boys.
Of course, the big comparison was: siblings versus pets. It seems that the children received more satisfaction from their relationships with their pets. They also had less conflict with their pets than with their siblings. This makes sense since pets can’t argue with you, while siblings can. The amount of companionship and disclosure was the same between pets and siblings.
However, because of the analyses method used and some significance values not being too big, the difference between gender should be viewed with caution. A repeated measures ANOVA and the Mann-Withney tests have some limitations and, as far as I can tell, the researchers did not use a restricted p-value to account for the fact that they did multiple tests.
In any case, it seems that sibling and pet relationships are quite similar. They are at least characterised by the same dimensions. There was especially a big overlap between the ratings dog owners gave their dog and their sibling.
There are different explanations for why adolescents’ turn to their pets. It is possible that adolescents’ with good sibling relationships also have good relationships with their pets. It is also possible that adolescents turn to their pets for alternative attachment if they have a poor sibling relationship. However, this study did not find evidence for either of these theories. It is still possible then that both are true as they would cancel each other out in the results.
Also, it seems more likely that boys and girls relate to their pets in different ways. Girls engaged in more disclosure with their pets. This is like the difference in human relationships where girls generally are more communicative than boys. An interesting finding was that girls have more conflict with their pet compared to boys. Especially since there was no gender difference in conflict with their siblings. So the explanation of girls being more communicative did not apply here. But again, it is possible that these gender differences are the result of a not strict enough p-value. It would be interesting to see if future research could give a more reliable answer.
Thus, there seems to be a lot of similarity between sibling and pet relationships. So it is possible that the positive outcomes that are linked to a strong sibling relationship, would also be true for a strong pet relationship.
Getting a pet is looking pretty good now, doesn’t it?


Domestic violence can be perpetrated by males or females. Abusive partners can be heterosexual or homosexual. The impact on the victim, relationship dynamics, and effect of domestic violence on children are strikingly similar regardless of the sex or gender roles of the offender or victim.
The vast majority of domestic violence reports involve male offenders and female victims. Popular theories regarding patriarchy (man is the head of the household/family) and male entitlement are widely accepted and proven out through research. Mental illness and abuse of alcohol, prescription medications, or illegal substances will often have a bearing on the severity or predictability of abuse and efforts to insure the victim’s safety.
The questions in the sidebar to the right may be difficult to answer honestly. Some men deny any awareness of the impact their size, angry voice, or facial expressions have on their loved ones. Many abusers say they do not believe their partner or children are actually afraid of them. For example, even while stating specific threats, some men defend themselves saying their intention was not to make the victim afraid but simply to “make her be quiet”, “make her listen”, “just to get some peace”, etc. Abusers use fear because it works. Abusers are very effective at manipulating their partners feelings and behavior.
Often, those who abuse others are highly thought of in the community. They do not publicly behave aggressively or with hostility and disdain. Nobody would ever guess!
If you are worried about the way you feel or behave toward your partner, there is help. If you are concerned about what your children are learning in your home, there is help. You can understand how childhood and adolescent experiences may have contributed to your beliefs and values or to patterns of behavior that hurt or frighten your loved ones. You can learn how your behavior impacts your family as well as alternative ways to think and behave.
Do you or have you ever done any of the following:
expressed jealousy of your partner’s time, friends, or activities?
tried to make your partner feel bad about time spent with family or friends, time spent at work, or time away from home that does not directly involve you?
accused your partner of unfaithfulness?
insult your partner or use ugly names?
undermine the children’s respect for their other parent?
tell children they do not have to do what their other parent says?
keep money matters secret from your partner?
require your partner to provide you with a report about all money?
broken or threatened to destroy your partner’s belongings?
said you were going to or could do something that would hurt or injure your partner?
threatened to or actually hurt a household pet?
threatened to or actually hurt your or your partner’s child?
If the answer is “YES” to even one of these, you have abused your partner!


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"They were so wrong!"
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