Once upon a time, a vintage couple that was very much in love, went to St. Thomas to renew their wedding vows. The evening before the great event they went to the patio bar overlooking the harbor. Enjoying the sunset, they discovered that there were many young couples there to be married for the first time. Imagine the young people’s surprise when they discovered the vintage couple was there to renew their vows after twenty-five years of marriage!
“You can stay married that long?” one young bride-to-be exclaimed.
Giving her a long look, the response from the vintage bride was, “Well, if you don’t believe that you can, you might need to rethink that marriage thing.”
Groom-to-be rushed in to rescue his love, “Well you have to admit twenty-five years is a long time. You are amazing.”
Vintage groom chuckled, saying, “We didn’t say it was easy. Why, we’ve divided all our belongings up at least fourteen times during those twenty-five years. Marriage takes work.”
That vintage couple was my husband and me. It was great fun sharing our wisdom of love and marriage with these young couples. We felt lucky. Then, after thirty-seven years of marriage, my husband died unexpectedly. I was filled with regrets of things left undone or unsaid, of not being a better wife and of not having more time. But I was also filled with gratitude for having been blessed to have had a joyful marriage.
This is the basis of the book, “Messy Beautiful Love” by Darlene Schacht. This book can be found at http://www.familychristian.com/catalog/product/view/id/269235/
As I read Ms.Schacht’s warm and personal journey, I gained a better understanding that love is imperfect, because all humans are imperfect. Ms. Schacht approaches topics that all of us have experienced, some with joy, some with regret, over the course of our relationships. The insightful journey is made clearer by the hard life lessons learned, and the in-the-moment ahas.
The premise that guides these insights are based on the surrender of your relationship to God; which means working to understand God’s method to prepare us for good and for bad. We all walk different paths, but if that path is walked with God, then our relationships become nothing short of an incredible gift.


Thursday, February 25, 2010
Free Advice to Women from My Past
There are other ways to show affection
I appreciate the attention, particularly that kind of attention, but there are other ways to show affection, let's try some of those.
If you want me to know stuff about you, answer questions
Since you didn't talk about yourself or were evasive when I asked questions, I figured that you didn't want me to know anything in depth about you. Then one of the myriad reasons you gave me for breaking up with me was "you don't get me." Go figure...
You're smarter than me. It's a compliment. Deal with it. If you're leaving then leave
If you mean it then I want you to
Your boobs are only small because you think they are
I dated a girl later who had smaller boobs. I mentioned that to her and she said "they're not small." They weren't because she didn't think they were. Attitude.
Your boobs are large, I'm not the only man who's noticed
Every guy you work with mentioned it to me. I never brought it up. I really am the good guy in this.
You were a 'College Republican,' so what...
I can't believe that the worst thing any man has ever done in a relationship was to mention that you were in an organization that does not reflect your current political affiliation.
That game you and your friends played trying to get men to do menial tasks for you may have been 'fun' for you, but it's mean
...and it's sick. You wanted me to leave my apartment, drive to your place of work and bring you a soda from the machine in your lobby? That's pretty fucking twisted. You tried to make me feel like an ass for not doing it. Then I find out it's just a game you played to fuck with men. Thanks for giving Social Workers from Iowa a bad name. And, no, I won't pay for your fucking sofa either.
When you break up with me, I'd like a reason why
I'm trying to improve myself here...
If you tell me right off that "This will end badly" it probably will Please don't ever treat any other man like this
This one is general and applies to every woman I've been involved with.


* Some of them. I also have some very nice, smart friends and family members who are male. This post is not about them.
A couple of weekends ago, I was able to meet up with someone new to Beijing, a friend of a friend who is starting a really cool business here. He is 25, several years younger than me, and the whole talk reminded me how dumb we are in our mid-twenties. It turns out that this very nice young man had fallen in love with a friend of a friend, formed a long-distance relationship, and just met the object of his affection for the first time in person. After a few months of talking mostly online, they had a ridiculous amount of interests in common, but a week into their physical meeting, the woman said she just “wasn’t feeling it.”
Ouch. But also, you know, understandable, since they had never met before this time. And such is life; such is the inane, random nature of affection, right? Except this new friend of mine isn’t going to take it. He has told both his ex, and now me, that he intends to stay friends with the girl and wear her down.
Two weeks later, he admits it’s not going so well, though she responds occasionally to his texts and is generally friendly. He’s clearly in agony, and though I tactfully suggested he move on, it’s clear he’s decided that she’s mistaken. Which is odd, since she has tried to be up front, honest and clear about her feelings. In a much more heartfelt letter than her initial words suggest, she clearly explains why it’s just not happening for her. She expresses the many things that she respects about this guy. But she also clearly states that she is not interested. I know, because for better or worse, my new friend asked me to read what she said. And I totally got choked up, because the girl is a great writer and obviously cares for him, but not in that way, and even as I sensed the pain and love in her words, I knew that the guy she was writing to was an idiot.
I have a tendency to feel empathy for people in pain, but the myriad of ways this guy’s experience mirrored, opposed and conflicted with my own past lit up reactions in me like a goddamned sparkler. To start out nicely, let’s be merciful and point to age. I’m amazed at the difference in life between 25 and 29. At this age, I was begging my ex-husband to stay with me. So what if he went days without acknowledging me? Threatened to leave, and then acted like nothing had happened? Refused to let me visit family, buy groceries or admit to our friends how nutty he was in private, while buying a new iPad, car and insisting we enjoy a trip to San Francisco and eat out where he liked? We had chosen to marry, dammit, and I was not a quitter.
Two important things here: first, a dear friend listened to me babble on about the awful nature of our affair, and finally said, “Why don’t you leave him?” I responded passionately, “I love him!” She responded, “No, you don’t. If you love the person he is, you are insane. You love who you thought he was.” This was true. Secondly, huge in general in any relationship in life, I realized why I was failing at marriage when I had never failed in anything in life (unless you count basketball, and those schmucks in the rec league had been playing their whole lives, so those mother-fuckers don’t count). Unlike almost any other “big choice” in life, a romantic relationship takes two people to succeed, even if you’re married. Hate your job? Quit. Want to improve your life? Sell your stuff, go back to school, work out; do whatever. Want a happy, or even healthy, marriage? If he don’t want it, it ain’t happenin.’ Unfortunately, no matter how much you love or desire a thing,
you cannot control another person.
No matter how much bargaining, pleading, changing, or accommodating you do—even if they’re not a narcissist, sociopath, or other serious and possibly incurable type of pathological person—if they don’t want you, you can’t make them. And you shouldn’t. The dirty little secret of my marriage is that my ex decided on our honeymoon that he had made a mistake. In the middle of our all-inclusive, resort-style paradise, we had a fight, and in his adolescent, reactive mentality (which his life showed, and I’d ignored), he decided on that trip that he had married the wrong woman. He told me as much a month later…and here is where “the stupid” (n.) happened for me.
I decided he couldn’t really mean what he said. No one is that immature, I thought. No one mistakes a few fights in a new relationship—especially a whirlwind romance—to mean the whole damn enterprise is a mistake. Coupled largely with huge, enormous religious things I’d been taught about marriage, I stayed for another 20 months with a man who didn’t want me. For all his flip-flopping, for all the ways that he lied and manipulated and put me through hell, he never changed his mind on this one fact.* Obviously, I was not exactly healthy myself at the time. I made his life as much a hell as mine by refusing to listen to him, by bending and twisting myself into a variety of women over the course of many months, all because I couldn’t let go of the voice in my head that said he’s wrong, and he’ll realize it eventually, and also, I will never get a divorce, because I made a vow before God.
It’s not as bad as it sounds. I wouldn’t be talking about it if it were. I went through years of therapy, he and I are on civil terms now, and as I said in a previous entry, the kindest thing he ever did was give me a divorce. The subsequent years have been largely happy, beautiful and full of discovery and second chances. But this leads me to another thing: being on the other side. And mansplaining.
Despite having been in exactly the same position as my 25-year-old friend, I was repeatedly struck by several of his words and actions. First of all, he mentioned repeatedly how this has never happened to him before. Now, this guy has a lot of awesome traits. He’s passionate about helping people, he’s got a plan, he’s a bright guy. But he is not one of the most attractive people I have ever met, he is broke, and he never finished college. I am a bit surprised this has never occurred, myself also being broke and having encountered rejection starting at age six at Skate Night (aw, roller blades…) and continuing up to the present. But maybe he is just incredibly lucky and and more amazing than I could ever fathom.
Next, he totally dismissed her feelings, and then declared that she is “the one” for him, largely in part because she is interested in the Meyer’s Briggs’ Personality Test, is the same “type” as him, likes the same kind of food, and even though they have hugely different political and religious views, they’re just so damn similar!
In other words, despite her clearly saying she does not want him, he cannot believe that she would feel that way, has decided that she is “the one” for him, and has decided to ignore every major difference because he can pick out a myriad of surface-level similarities. All I could do as I sat there was fight the urge to laugh and say, “Good luck, sweetie.”
It’s not all because I have a black heart and resent his prior, freakishly good luck in matters of the heart. It’s because I know better now than to tell someone what he should do, and I learned in the most visceral way possible that pretty much everything that he was saying was wrong, bless his heart. At least when I was married, I had the fact that my spouse had wed me and promised to stay that way forever to tell me I might not be totally crazy. I had a master’s degree, pursued what interested him, worked myself out till my knees ached, and did everything physically possible to be what he wanted—even, at one point, abandoning my sycophantic attempts to please him in every way to “get a spine,” which ended up working out well for both of us–even if he wasn’t pleased with what a “spine” looked like on me, and left once I got it.
My point is that this guy, as sincerely as he loves this girl, is utterly lost. Someone doesn’t love you because you think they should. They love you because…well… they do.
Strangely, despite being rejected in a similar way by my spouse, I have also experienced the flip side of this several times in the past few years. It turns out that a moderately attractive divorcee is like honey to desperate men. I have lost count of the men who have looked at me with utterly sincere affection, told me I’m the one, and promptly lost my respect as they refused to take “no, I’m not” for an answer, and badgered me.
The experience has led to a few regretted actions. One man in particular, who like me had never failed at anything but marriage in his life, evidently didn’t learn the lesson the first time around. He pursued me for a year and a half, and lo and behold, after a traumatic breakup, I turned to him in my hour of need. I went against every instinct in my body and said, “Nah, my instincts are wrong; maybe he is right for me!”
Short story: he wasn’t. Longer bit: I hurt him deeply, and a week before I left for China, he was still begging me to come to see me off. He didn’t understand that I had no desire to be with him. That he wasn’t right for me. And at this point, it was not because I had tried to spare his feelings. This is where the ugliness came in.
I know I’ve heard women complain that men did not love them back. I just did, a little, except that I acknowledged that I should have taken my ex at his word, no matter what marriage vows we’d exchanged a whole week prior, and told him to get the hell out. But never, when a man didn’t want to be with me, have I been struck with the need to lecture him on why he has made a mistake, nor have I ever adopted the tone of his mother and treated him like a two-year-old.
You know what else is funny? I have also never felt the need to explain to a man that because he didn’t want me, he was broken, scared of commitment, and sure as hell going to regret it. Maybe I’m “off,” but even though I have had some unrequited love since my marriage, I have been smart enough to let go—eventually—and without blame. Yet that has never happened with a guy who liked me, whom I refused.
I don’t want to blame everything on sexism, but mansplaining is a thing, people. What’s odd is when a person who has never shown a shred of similar idiocy suddenly shifts from a pleading, desperate tone of “Don’t break up with me! I love you!” to a condescending prick. The first time was way before the ex-husband. It was my first love, a convoluted, codependent one I didn’t have the will to end till I was in another country (never a good sign). I’ll never forget that tone he took.
He was babbling, going on about how much he loved me, and I was crying and feeling so horrible, and then suddenly it was like he became a different person. He stopped crying and in half a breath his voice became menacing, condescending, patronizing, and he used my full name like my father when I was in trouble. He said my name, then added, “You are making a huge mistake. This is foolish, and you will regret it.”
His voice exactly mimicked the tone my dad would use with me when I was declaring my desire to get a tattoo or jump out of a plane or major in poetry. And just like that, he went from a man I loved and hated hurting, to a stranger I had no trouble rejecting.
“No, I won’t,” I said, and hung up. And you know what? I never did.
It has happened now with no less than four other men in my life, whether or not we’d been together for a long time. And I would like to know what the hell makes men creepy father figures at the moment they realize they cannot manipulate you into being with them.
I get that it might be a defense mechanism. I understand that men are trained to not show emotion and are conditioned to act superior to women in some subcultures their whole lives. But none of these men had ever treated me this way before, and every single time, it served no purpose other than to make me go, “Ew. I already have a dad! Go away!” (Men younger than, the same age as, and older than me have been equal offenders.)
So when this new acquaintance, truly mourning a love that he lost unexpectedly, began to pull the same shit, I really wanted to say, “You know what? She doesn’t want you, she said so, and as shocking as it is and as much as you think she’s perfect for you, she evidently does not feel the same. And it takes two, baby, unless you’re the kidnapping, stalker type. So why don’t you try not just loving, but respecting her too.”
I did my best Southern attempt to say this in a nicer way, something along the lines of, “Well, you might need to respect her opinion, and it does seem that she has expressed herself clearly.” But I knew that some of it was his inexperience, having been so goddamned amazing that no other woman ever had the will to break up with him. I am aware that I wasn’t ready to hear the truth at his age, and as awful as it sounds, he will learn the truth eventually. I wish people wouldn’t automatically dismiss painful truths in the opinions of others.
While I’ve never gotten back together with a guy who has taken this patronizing tone, I did consider the words of another man I broke up when he mentioned how little I seemed to value relationships. He might have just been hurt, but he was partially right. I realized that I’d thrown myself into work to avoid connecting to people and risking pain; however, that didn’t change the fact that this particular, hard-working Apple employee who lived with his parents wasn’t right for me.**
I strove to contact family and friends more after that, and to make time for people who mattered to me…even if it didn’t change the need to end our relationship. Because in the end, to grow from other people, it doesn’t require ignoring their wishes, patronizing them, or ordering them around. It requires taking them at their word, acting accordingly, and dealing with the consequences. Having a clue who you are helps, as I mention in this article.
Regardless, my 25-year-old friend will learn over time. Hopefully! Because as people, it’s what we do.
Speaking of which…
* I realize that I sound psycho at this point. I may have been back then, a little, though I was more needy and proud than anything—a dangerous combo.
** I’m sure I’ll eventually stop dating men who live with their parents. After, say, 30, it’s just not okay anymore.***
***I am NOT talking about living with them as you change careers or because your roof caved in or your wife just died and you need a place to mourn for a few years. I mean for the entirety of one’s adult life. FYI.


Every once in awhile something happens in your life…a moment, an interaction…that makes you smile (an maybe bring tears to your eyes as you are walking through Walmart).
I was going to get on here and post a blog about how unfair life can be for a special needs child. I was all ready to talk about how Matthew is at the lake for a few days with my parents but Grant didn’t get to go. I was going to whine a little about how Grant deals with enough…but then something happened.
As we were walking through Walmart, Ryan was pushing Grant in his chair and I was following pushing Grace in the cart. Going down a main aisle Ryan cut across and I waited for a younger guy to pass first then I followed. We were standing at the phone chargers and this same young guy came up to us. Thinking we were in his way, Ryan and I both kind of parted the way. That’s when he bent down to Grant.
This is where the watery eyes started.
He bent down to Grant and talked to him. He didn’t talk to Ryan and he didn’t talk to me…he talked TO Grant. And he waited for Grant to answer him. He asked if Grant liked toys to which he got a huge smile and little nod yes. Then he asked what kind of toys. Do you like cool cars he asked Grant. Again big smile and nod as Grant looked at me like how did he know. He then looked up and asked me “Does he have Cerebral Palsy?” It always throws me when people ask that. I told him yes he does and he told us his twin brother has Cerebral Palsy. He said they are 23 years old. Then again he started talking to Grant. He handed him a $20 bill and told him to go buy him a cool car. Then he waited there for Grant to grab the money.
I’m not sure how I choked back the lump in my throat to thank him for being so kind. As he walked away and I bent down to Grant I had to wipe a tear away.
It’s those moments that make you take a step back and see the world…in that moment…as nothing but good. His kindness towards Grant and the way he spoke to Grant like a person was beyond words. There was a connection between the two of them. They understood each other and that was so amazing to witness!
Oh yes and Grant picked out an awesome car!! He was so excited to walk through the toys and search for something he wanted. His car lights up and makes noise and he can do it all by himself.
Moral of the story: Never take for granted the fact that there are still amazing people in the world. And when you get wrapped up in a moment that takes your breath away…soak it in!
Have a blessed day!


Married With Boyfriends 2
Married With Boyfriends Vol. 2
Matrimony works better when you’re married with boyfriends, especially for Lasirena 69, Alixis Zara, Ashley Lane, and Cory Chase. These cock-craving hotwives have got it all, and they can’t wait to show how hot love and marriage can be!


SHARIA LAW AND MARRIAGE
The concept of marriage is present in almost every society in today’s world. Also every religion has the basic concept of marriage in one form or another. So it’s quite obvious that marriage plays an important part in lying down of a stable and civilized society.
Criticism of Marriage in Sharia Law
Islam lays great emphasis on marriage. It strictly prohibits any form of adultery or infidelity. There have been quite a few misunderstandings associated with marriage and the role Sharia plays in a Muslim marriage.
- It is believed that Sharia Law allows forced marriage amongst Muslim men and women. This is not true. Islam does not support forced marriages. In fact, Islam allows free will and free consent in matter of marriage. Muslim man and Muslim woman are free to refuse marrying someone they do not consider as suitable match to them. Many people confuse arranged marriages as being forced marriages. This is not the case. Arranged marriages are initiated by parents of both bride and groom. However, this is more of a cultural arrangement rather than a religious one. South Asian countries have arranged marriages embedded in their cultures. Even other religious communities prefer to have arranged marriages within their families.
- Another misconception is that Sharia Law does not allow women the right to get divorce from their spouses. This is again baseless. Sharia Law allows Muslim women to get divorce if they feel they are being treated in an unjust and wrongful manner. The reasons for divorce are not much different from the ones that are used by women of other faith. Islam does not encourage divorce but this applies to both men and women.
- There is also this never ending debate about Muslim men allowed to having more than one wife. Sharia Law does make a provision for polygamy but it comes with strict restriction. A man is supposed to be just and fair to all his wives equally. A man is to take permission from women he is already married to before bringing another woman into his wedlock. Also, this provision allows for a man to be married to widows etc.
Again, the basic understanding of Sharia Law is required to fully grasp the concept of marriage in Islam and how it serves to protect the rights of both men and women. It also plays an important role in making the bond stronger and keep this basic tool of society functional and intact.


Matt is the first out of six Financial Advisers that I has truly taken an interest in me and my financial well being. Matt has been looking after me for in excess of 10 years. Discover Financial Partners is both friendly and has always offered me excellent advice both whenever I seek it and when I have not.
Matt is not just my Financial Adviser, but over the years we have developed a great friendship together with the team at Discover.
Recently, my accountant who is usually anti Financial Advisers met with Matt and myself and after Matt had left, my accountant asked where I found him as he is the first Financial Adviser that he had met who knows what he is talking about.


A religious couple who are deeply unhappy in their marriage, but concerned about the stigma associated with divorce, have vowed to divorce in protest if same sex marriage is legalised.
Nick Jensen and his wife Sarah were married 10 years ago and have slept in separate beds since 2009. They have discussed divorce almost weekly for the last year but can’t bring themselves to face the judging eyes of their friends and family in the Australian Christian League.
The looming possibility of legalised same sex marriage however allows them to make the case that the union has now been desecrated and that the right thing to do by Christ is to leave the corrupted sacrament rather than continue to be tainted by it.
The Jensens believe the divorce will be welcomed as a noble sacrifice by their close friends. Theology Professor Andrew Stinson agrees.
“Well on the surface of it there’s no real reason why same-sex couples getting married in no religious ceremonies should have any impact on a religious sacrament whatsoever so in that sense the logic is very confused,” Stinson said.“On the other hand, that tends to be the kind of logic that proves most popular with ACL types so it’ll probably work quite effectively.”
Nick Jensen told The (un)Australian: “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Who are you to impugn someone else’s relationship as less than yours just because you have a different set of values to them? How dare you?”


okay so in the last post i forgot to mention that he let me wear his jacket and his senior ring… i thought he was gonna let me keep them but he took them back before he left..okay so fastforward to school on tuesday. he sits inside and i sit outside, and it was cold and i texted him saying that and he said he would give me his jacket so i went inside and got it and he said lets walk together after lunch. so after lunch i meat up with him and his class is before mine so he leaves me 1st. we walked together everyday after lunch. well remember my friend mallorie? the whole time she liked jeremy. he never really liked her back. and while me and jeremy were talking to each other, we starting falling for eachother. i knew i couldnt hide it forever so i texted mallorie after school and i told her that me and jeremy really liked eachother and if i could have her permission. i really dont need it cuz shes not really my friend. we used to be best friends but then she betrayed me. but thats another story. so she told me it ws okay and that we would be friends forever but she talked to some people about it and i guess she changed her mind. She started posting abunch of crap about me on twitter about how im a bitch. Jeremy stood up for me which made me fall for him more. i invited jeremy over to my house so he could meet my mom. She loves him. She thinks hes great and she actually approves. the next day, jeremy was working the ems for an lsu game, and my mom was going to that game, and he went and found her and talked to her for awhile. he left because he had to go back to work. my mom really likes him. so after the game he came over and we watched a movie. a week went by and i still had his jacket, i still sat in his car in the moring, we still called eachother babe and baby, everything was perfect. we got out of school for thanksgiving break and his birthday was on thanksgiving. on the 21st i was at my dads house and he came over and watched a movie. At exactly 12 oclock i told him happy birthday and i gave him his present. he 1st texted me on november 2nd so it hasnt been that long. He LOVES baseball so i got him one and i signed it “happy birthday sunshine” i started calling him sunshine cuz he would always say “anytime sunshine” so he left my house and later that day like after lunch i went to his house and met ALL his family. i stayed there till like 11 at night. when i got home, i texted him and i asked “where is this going” he replied “my feeling havent changed. i dont want a serious relationship before college. I think we could have fun times and i dont mean just hooking up. you are a great girl Blah blah blah” i was very confused. Why did he do all those things if he doesnt even like me like that. so i asked. and he said that it was all on instinct. and that he thought i would be pissed if he didnt” he said he was sorry and that he didnt mean to hurt me. i cried and i cried. he always said he never wanted to hurt me but he did. we kept texting that night and he told me that he just wants to be friends but he doesnt want to text as much as we do. he only wants to text me like every couple of days. i said okay. i was so heart broken and i didnt know who to talk to. i didnt want to tell any of my girl friends cuz they would just tell everyone. Who do you talk to when you lose your Bestfriend. there is only one person i know and thats ethan. He is another story. i texted him and he said he would be there for me and that he would listen. and he did. but a week went by and jeremy texted me. and i told jeremy that i was over it. that i dont want a relationship with him anymore. but the thing is i still do.


ZOMBIE LOVE: A SHORT STORY BY DEANNA KNIPPLING
HOW I MET YOUR ZOMBIE MOTHER…
So my daughter’s going out on a date with a guy she thinks she’s serious about. Serious. As if she understands what serious means. She’s a zombie! We do things differently. So I’m going to give her a word or two of advice…and the real story about how I met her mother.
A short-short story of young zombies in love and well-intentioned parental advice.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
WHERE TO FIND IT
This short story and other stories in The Shambles Bundle can be found at https://bundlerabbit.com/b/shambles#cbp=/products/detail/zombie-love or https://bundlerabbit.com


An unexpected death sends eighteen-year-old Mira Singh tumbling into the gap between two cultures and between two generations. Her rich Indian heritage and strong Sikh faith sustain her while she grapples through this tragic loss, a forbidden first love, and her journey into womanhood. During her freshman year at NYU, she finds herself sorting through the memories of her family’s 1984 immigration to America and their subsequent life in suburban Long Island. She must reconcile her own beliefs with those of her traditional family—on interfaith relationships, sexual orientation, and infidelities—in order to understand the person she is becoming, versus the person her parents expect her to be. And it’s not only Mira who must struggle through it all. Each member of her family is torn apart by this sudden death, shedding light on each of their troubled lives. Will this tragedy finally bring them all together or will it pull them all apart? This novel explores themes of family, cultural oppression of women from diverse ethnic backgrounds; discrimination, interfaith relationships, and sexual orientation.
“The details of pains, happiness and the different feelings all poured out of the pages fluidly.”
“A complex depiction of a family in turmoil.”
“a profoundly moving and emotionally charged novel”
“From Ash to Ashes is an emotional read. All the characters in the book are beautifully sketched.”
“A very well woven tale of family, emotions, mental health and traumas along with the complexities of human lives and their emotions and what lies within them!”


The Blame Game
By Jennifer Reeder
When I was in my early twenties, I lived in a crummy apartment
complex in Maui. Most of the other tenants were like me: young restaurant
servers happy to be living in Hawaii. I became friends with a woman on my
floor named "Paula," who lived with her boyfriend of several years,
Unfortunately, Dan drank a lot. Many nights I'd hear them screaming at each other, or things hitting the walls. One night, Paula came to my door with a bloody lip and a black eye. Dan had locked her out, and she just wanted to wash her face. She kept saying that he was only violent when he was drunk, and that the rest of the time he was really "sweet." She didn't want to leave him; she just wanted him to get help for his alcoholism.
A few days later, I discussed the situation with a mutual friend. "Why doesn't she leave him?" I asked in frustration. "It's more complicated than that when you're in an abusive relationship," the friend said. "I know - I used to be in one."
Domestic violence is everywhere - and it can happen to anyone. A woman is battered every 12 seconds in the United States. Often, it seems obvious that the safest thing for abused women to do is to leave their boyfriend, husband, or partner.
It's actually a lot more complicated than that.
Last September, I trained to become a volunteer at Alternative Horizons. I learned that there are myriad reasons why women in abusive relationships don't "just leave." Maybe her religious views prevent her from breaking the sacrament of marriage. Maybe her partner has threatened to kill her, her children, her parents, or her pets if she leaves. (As Roseann pointed out, when he says he'll kill her, her experience with abuse shows it's not an empty threat.) Maybe he controls their money. Maybe she can't take time off from work to go to the courthouse. Maybe he's threatened to turn her in to immigration, or in the case of a homosexual relationship, out him or her. Maybe he has isolated her, so that she doesn't have a car or a place to stay. Maybe she has compassion for him because he was once abused. Maybe she fears people's disapproval that she stayed for so long before finally leaving. Maybe she has a disability that presents unique challenges. Maybe he has connections with drug dealers who might come after her. Maybe he is well respected in the community, so she thinks no one will believe her.
I wish I'd known that the best way to help women - or men - in abusive relationships is to offer support. I hope you can learn from my mistakes. If you know someone in an abusive relationship, start by listening instead of jumping in with advice. Find out what she needs to feel safe, and what she's done in the past to protect herself and her children. Remember to ask, "How can I help you?" and suggest she call our 24-hour hotline at 247-4374.
By pushing my idea of what Paula should do - leave - I wasn't helping her at all. What she needed was someone to listen and let her come to her own decisions about how to stay safe. What she didn't need was additional pressure from someone who was supposed to be a friend. Because of my lack of understanding, when Paula and Dan were evicted for repeated noise violations and moved to a new apartment, our friendship basically fizzled out. If only I had known that I shouldn't have been asking "Why doesn't she leave?" As domestic violence advocates say, I should have been asking, "Why does he abuse her and why doesn't he let her leave?"


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One day, the angry duck saw another duck, who had a mind of his own. He banged him out of the way. Then the police saw them. The angry duck didn't go to prison, they were just told off. And then they both agreed they should be friends. They played nice with each other and they dipped in water with each other and then when they had to go they said nice goodbyes to each other. Then they went to their mother ducks.


I don't NEED you, I WANT you.
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I feel like I give more than I receive , I’m not saying that’s a bad thing because I love giving and putting smiles on peoples faces , but when that job is done , what about me ?
Why not go hard ? don’t manke no sense not to.– Nipsey Hussle
If I can do better , you can do better too, but I don’t want better ,...– Jhene Aniko
I have the craziest bestfriend ever ! But I love her so much , its crazy because were a lot a like in so many ways and I feel like she gets me. When were together were like this Dynamic duel haha. She is my ride or die. She is a strong women and I respect her for that. Love her like she is my blood.
I may not always say the right things , but one thing thats real about me our my emotions , I say what I feel and do based on how I feel about something .
A good attitude can make a person 1000 times more beautiful .


How can parents cultivate a relationship between God and their children? Fr. Timothy Pavlatos, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a Nationally Certified Counselor, speaks with Emmy Louvaris to tell us how. Listen as they discuss how modeling forgiveness, trust, repentance, and love makes all the difference. You won’t want to miss this episode.
From Raising Independent Children to be Dependent on God on the Orthodox Christian Network (OCN)


Valentine’s Day is a celebration of love and romance that is observed annually on February 14th. It is a day when people in relationships express their love for each other by sending cards, flowers, and gifts. It is a day to celebrate affection between family members, friends, and even pets. The origins of Valentine’s Day are steeped in mystery, but it is believed to have originated from a pagan festival in the Roman Empire.
The holiday has since become a popular celebration around the world, with people of all ages taking part in the festivities. Many couples exchange gifts, such as chocolates, roses, jewelry, and other items, to show their appreciation for one another. Other couples might go out for a romantic dinner or take part in other activities.
Valentine’s Day has also become a popular day to exchange cards, often known as “valentines.” These cards may be handmade or store bought, and often feature romantic messages, poems, or pictures of the couple.
No matter how it is celebrated, Valentine’s Day is a special time to show love and appreciation for those close to you. From exchanging cards and gifts to spending quality time together, it is a day for couples to express their love for each other in whatever way feels right.
Why It Is Important To Show Love And Appreciation For Your Husband
It is essential to show love and appreciation to your husband. While it may not always come naturally, it is important to make a conscious effort to show your husband that you care and appreciate him. Doing this will help strengthen your relationship, keep the romance alive, and remind him that he is an important part of your life.
Showing appreciation to your husband can be as simple as telling him you love him every day or every time you say goodbye. It can also involve thoughtful gestures such as writing him a love letter, making him his favorite dinner, or giving him a special gift. A little bit of appreciation can go a long way in showing your husband that you are still very much in love and care deeply for him.
It is also important to express your gratitude to your husband. When your husband does something nice for you, make sure to thank him. Showing gratitude will make your partner feel appreciated, respected, and loved. Even small actions, such as doing the dishes or making the bed, can be acknowledged and appreciated.
It is also important to show your husband physical affection. Even a small hug or kiss can go a long way in expressing your love and appreciation for him. Physical contact can be a powerful way to show your husband that you care and are thankful for him.
Showing love and appreciation for your husband is essential for any healthy relationship. It is important to make a conscious effort to show your husband that you care and appreciate him. Doing so will help strengthen your relationship, keep the romance alive, and remind him that he is an important part of your life.
Top 10 Valentine’s Day Gifts for Husband
Gifting your husband on Valentine’s Day can be a challenge, but why not make it extra special by getting him something personalized? Whether it’s a mug with a funny message, a custom-made shirt, a monogrammed keychain or a unique piece of art, a personalized gift is sure to make him smile. Show your special someone you put extra thought and effort into his gift, and make this Valentine’s Day extra memorable.
Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to show your husband how much you appreciate them. A luxury watch is a great gift that will last for years to come. Not only is it a timeless piece of jewelry, but it’s also a special reminder of your love and commitment. Choose from an array of styles and designs to find one that’s sure to show your husband just how much you care.
Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to show your husband how much you care. One way to do this is by giving them a home-cooked meal. Make your husband’s favorite dish and present it to him with a romantic card. Not only is this a thoughtful gift, but it’s also a great way to show your love and appreciation. Plus, it’s an affordable way to give your husband a special Valentine’s Day surprise. So make sure to take the time to prepare a delicious home-cooked meal for your husband this Valentine’s Day and show him how much you care.
Tickets to a Show
Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to show your husband just how much he means to you. Surprise him with tickets to a show he’s been wanting to see! Whether it’s a concert, a play, or a sporting event, this thoughtful gift is sure to make him feel loved and appreciated. Plus, you’ll get to enjoy the experience together!
Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to show your husband how much you care. Whether you’re looking for romantic gifts, practical presents, or something totally unexpected, we’ve got you covered. Make this Valentine’s Day the best one yet with an unforgettable weekend getaway. Whether you’re jet-setting to a romantic destination or taking a staycation in your own city, plan an itinerary filled with activities that both of you will enjoy. From romantic dinners and spa treatments to outdoor adventures or exploring local attractions, there’s something for everyone. Make this Valentine’s Day the most memorable one yet with a weekend getaway filled with love and laughter.
Personal Care Products
Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to show your husband how much you love and appreciate him. Whether you’re looking for something special and unique or just something to show your appreciation, there are plenty of personal care products to choose from. From shaving kits and cologne to skin care and bath items, you’ll find something your husband will love. Show him your love and appreciation this Valentine’s Day with a thoughtful gift he’ll love.
Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to show your husband or significant other just how much you care. If you’re looking for an extra special gift idea, consider customized glassware. From personalized beer mugs and whiskey tumblers to unique wine glasses and champagne flutes, you can easily find something he’ll love that’s customized just for him. Not only will adding his name or a special message make it a memorable gift, but it also shows him how much thought you put into it.
This Valentine’s Day, give the outdoorsman in your life the perfect gift with outdoor gear. From camping accessories to hiking essentials and apparel, there’s something for every outdoorsman this Valentine’s Day. Whether your husband is an avid hunter, fisherman, hiker, or just loves spending time in nature, you can find the perfect gift to make his day special. From quality camping tents and sleeping bags to packs and apparel, he’ll find plenty of items to help him explore the outdoors. Make this Valentine’s Day one to remember with the perfect outdoor gear for your husband.
Music or Movie Collection
For the music or movie lover in your husband, why not surprise him with a Valentine’s Day gift of a collection of his favorite tunes or movies? With the right music or movie, you can easily transport him to a place of joy and relaxation. Whether it’s a classic movie, a rock album or a romantic comedy soundtrack, a music or movie collection tailored to his tastes is sure to be a hit and a great way to show your love.
A Nice Dinner Out
Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to show your husband how much you care. Whether you’re looking for something traditional or something unconventional, there are plenty of wonderful Valentine’s Day gifts for husbands out there. Consider taking him out for a nice dinner, gifting him a personalized item, or even planning a surprise getaway for the two of you. Whatever you choose, he’ll appreciate your thoughtfulness!


Conferences: Maximizing Your Relationships Before, During, and After
How do you maximize your connections before, during, and after a conference? What should you do to capitalize on this opportunity?
A conference can be an opportunity to land potential guests, clients, and referral partners. These events allow you to expand your network by making new connections while strengthening the relationships you’ve already established.
While preparing for the conference, you can familiarize yourself with attendees by looking at their profiles, reaching out, and developing relationships with them. During the event, connect to the exhibitors by introducing yourself and following up on LinkedIn. Capitalize on this opportunity to expand your network by connecting and forming professional relationships with attendees.
Begin building relationships before the conference.
Oftentimes, there are threads on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Slack associated with the conference that allows you to interact with other attendees. Utilize conference channels to propose questions and topics of discussion. This is an excellent way to begin building relationships with other industry leaders who would be appropriate to include in your network.
Introduce yourself to exhibitors.
Exhibitors who are presenting at the conference are quality strategic referral partners in the industry and would be exceptional guests to feature on your podcast. After introducing yourself, connect with the exhibitors on LinkedIn. Even better, if you happened to take a picture with them at the conference, consider posting it on your profile. This benefits both parties as it can be considered marketing for their brand and a conversation starter when you network in the future.
Follow up with attendees on LinkedIn.
Conferences are strategic networking events that allow you to connect with people related to your industry. It’s crucial to utilize your time to connect with as many people as you can. However, you will not have enough time to introduce yourself to everyone. After the event, send a message on LinkedIn to anyone who attended the conference that would be beneficial to include in your network. The conference is a shared connection that can establish trust as you foster the relationship.


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Five Love Languages Special Edition Gary Chapman Bok
“For people this love language resonates with, words and gifts might seem empty,” says Conger. “What proves more important is a partner putting forth the effort to make life a little easier The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate is a 1992 book by Gary Chapman. It outlines five general ways that romantic partners express and experience love, which Chapman calls "love languages". “For people this love language resonates with, words and gifts might seem empty,” says Conger. “What proves more important is a partner putting forth the effort to make life a little easier Marriage counselor Gary Chapman defined the concept of love languages in his 1992 book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts.
1. Words of affirmation. People with words of affirmation as a love language value verbal acknowledgments of affection, 2. Quality time. People whose love language is quality time feel the most adored when their partner actively wants to 3. Acts of services. If What Is Your Love Language?
Learning the Swedish Vocabulary displayed below is vital to the language.
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that - Storytel
It did much better on the Billboard 200 than his last two records, peaking at #38. The theory, which comes from a 1992 book by Gary Chapman called The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, is based on the idea that there are five distinct ‘love languages’ or ways 2018-02-05 · The Five Love Languages are NOT just for people in relationships.
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Physical touch? Acts of service?
2015-03 . Visa kärlek på rätt sätt Chapman , Gary : Five love languages , Chicago , Moody Press
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Even better is including the reasons behind the love through leaving them a voice message or a Quality time. This language, says Chapman, is all about giving your partner your undivided attention.
Jul 21, 2017 Identifying Love Languages in your Relationship · 1) Acts of Service: Actions rather than words are used to show and receive love. · 2) Receiving
Sep 23, 2020 A love language is the way you express affection for people you love and the way you want them to express affection for you. Here's how you can
Feb 13, 2019 What are the "5 Love Languages" and what are their definitions?
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The 5 Love Languages were identified by Gary Chapman as being the unique ways in which humans give and express love. When it comes to our needs in a relationship, most of us have one dominant love language that makes us feel loved, cared for, and special.


Michael Reagan, eldest son of President Ronald Reagan, political commentator, author, radio host of 26 years, and holder of five powerboat racing world records, said he has been asked all his life, “What was it really like being raised by Ronald Reagan?” When he finally set pen to paper, he realized he had much more to reflect on, and he was all the more honest for it.
In 2016, Reagan published “Lessons My Father Taught Me,” a memoir of his relationship with his father and all he learned from him about love, leadership, family, and faith.
American Essence spoke with Reagan about his cherished memories with his father.
On a lesson he learned while growing up: “I really learned about America, and the military, when I would ride out to the ranch on any given Saturday morning with my father and he would regale me with songs of the Army, the Navy, the Marine Corps, the Coast Guard. And he would just tell me about America,” Reagan said.
On what his father imparted to him: “Forgiveness,” said Reagan. As a child, he was the victim of molestation, and the perpetrator’s threats followed him for years. He carried fear, shame, and resentment with him, even walking away from God and his family at one point. “Ultimately, it came to me that I had to live the Lord’s Prayer instead of just reciting the Lord’s Prayer: Forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
He recalled his father’s famously good attitude: “Dad was never bothered. Nothing upset him.”
A special bonding moment: Reagan recalled that in 1991 (when he was about 46), while sitting in church, he asked God to show him that his father loved him. In a moment of blame, he thought about how his father never said “I love you.”
“The voice came back and said, ‘So, when was the last time you told your dad you loved him?’” He realized he never had. “Another voice said, ‘Next time you see him, give him a hug and tell him you love him.’”
He did so, and shocked his father—and the secret service—quite a bit. But then his dad returned the hug and said, “I love you, too.”
From then on, that became their ritual every meeting. When Alzheimer’s had taken much of his father’s memory, and he couldn’t say Michael’s name, the president still held out his arms every time he saw his son, because he recognized him as the man who would always give him a hug.
From Aug Issue, Volume 3


Would you like to experience these results?
You are cherished by a woman you adore. You feel truly met by this woman who understands, inspires, invigorates and loves you deeply.
Your sexual connections are a rich and satisfying opportunity for deepening intimacy, blissful union and playful exploration. Your masculine presence is revered by your woman.
You feel as if a true king among men, living from a place of grounded power and richness of heart. You give generously of yourself and receive back from others in equal measure. There is both a sense of fullness and freedom in your life.
I am a change agent, working in support of your greatest happiness. I offer potent transformational Love and Relationship Coaching to men who are seeking to expand into the fullness of their personal potential. I effect deep changes at a conscious level through insightful conversation and align this at an unconscious level through physical contact which will catalyse the process. Read more...
Kate helps men and gives services for love, sex, passion, intimacy, loving relationships, love and relationship coaching, sex coaching andsexual healing. I teach you how to have good sex, great sex and spiritual sex. Sacred sexuality is very important, which is why working with Kate Henderson will help you with: sex tips, libido, lasting longer in bed, stay hard, keeping an erection, relationship coaching, life coaching, erectile dysfunction, impotence, premature ejaculation, tantra, tantric healing, goddess, potency, sexual prowess. Kate’s services are in Brisbane, Queensland. Learn the key to finding true love, sexual performance, sexual confidence, sexual technique, sexual mastery, good in bed, great in bed and be a great lover! Attracting women is not easy, but you will learn power and confidence with your girlfriend or partner. How to stop cheating, or if you have no sex drive, perhaps you’ve fallen out of love? Other services include men’s health, counselling, happiness, success, the keys to pleasing women, sex addiction, porn, porn addiction, depression, one-on-one, hands on healing, tactile, touch, touch therapy, hugging, embrace, self awareness, personal growth, connection, open hearted, spiritual, emotional, physical, body contact and loving embrace.


By dreamwalker I liked how he remembered and talked about him. There was no drama. It just seemed he wanted to cuddle him for the last time before letting him go. And he wanted to remember him, dedicating to him a music: The Dance of the Blessed Spirits.
So flute, harp and orchestra began to play this delightful harmony. And in the end, an applause full of love started.
What a beautiful thing for this soul, that perhaps he may begin his journey in this so cuddly way.
it seemed a sweet Oh-Be-Ahn.


Most frequent questions and answers
Consultation with a specialist in intimate relationships may be needed in the following cases:
- pain or discomfort during sexual intercourse;
- lack of pleasure from sex;
- lack of sexual desire or arousal;
- erectile dysfunction;
- premature ejaculation;
- inability to reach orgasm;
- problems during sexual intercourse associated with a chronic disease.
This is not a complete list of problems that a sexual health clinic deals with. It is important to understand those sexual disturbances may seem minor at first, but over time they often worsen and lead to more serious and long-term problems in life. Therefore, it is important to seek professional help in a timely manner.


Hermione says that Polixenes' wife and herself both are ready to take the responsibility for all the sins committed by their husbands only if those sins were committed first with them. This says a lot about how a woman is inculpated for each and every act of her husband. Moreover, a woman tolerates everything if her husband is faithful to her. In these lines, Hermione has referred to the word "sin" and Polixenes, in the preceding lines accuses his wife for enticing him. According to the Bible, engaging in sexual activities before marriage is a sin. No matter what the situation is, a woman is always considered as a temptress. I would want my group to put forward their opinions on the issue of gender playing a pertinent role in demarcating morality.
lest you say Your queen and I are devils. Yet go on.  Th’ offenses we have made you do we’ll answer, If you first sinned with us, and that with us You did continue fault, and that you slipped not With any but with us.
Act 1 Scene 2


Perfectionism In Young Athletes
We recently received a note from a parent about how her 10-year-old’s high expectations lead her to give up when faced with adversity.
This is common when a child, like this softball player, has achieved success. She has pitched many perfect games, including at state playoffs, and is always the best batter on her team, says her mom…
Children learn about intimate relationships from their parents. So it’s not too surprising that negative patterns can be repeated from one generation to the next.
What should parents know about their own intimate relationships that can significantly impact their children’s future? What can you do today that will help your child’s relationships develop in positive ways?
Research shows that children of divorced parents may shy away from intimate relationships when they grow up, often fearing rejection and discontent…


Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer
At Hoopis & Hoopis we understand that divorce brings a lot of emotions to the forefront. We don't discount the difficulty you may be facing. We help our clients find a balance between what their emotions tell them and what the court will require. Rhode Island divorce lawyer Jennifer Hoopis D'Ambra provides caring and effective legal guidance through the process.
Divorce affects the whole family, especially children. We often meet with our client and our client's larger family, the people who will be providing support through the process. If you would like to bring people with you to your meeting, please do so.
Contact Hoopis & Hoopis online or call 401-823-6266. We offer a free initial consultation so you can meet with Jennifer to determine if she is the best divorce lawyer for you.
Divorce Negotiation, Mediation or Litigation
We aim for a civil and amicable divorce. Most often we negotiate an agreement on the issues of importance to our clients or we assist our clients with divorce mediation . When the issues are complex and contested, we may need to seek a resolution in court. Learn more about the divorce process in Rhode Island .
Issues in Divorce and Custody Cases
Legal Separation : Few people understand how legal separation is viewed by Rhode Island family courts so we've provided an explanation for you.
Property Division and Alimony : Unless you had a prenuptial agreement that specified property division and alimony, you will need to decide these issues in your divorce agreement. We will help you through the process of documenting and valuing marital assets and debt and negotiating a fair property settlement agreement.
Child Custody and Support: Child custody and child support decisions made together. Rhode Island child support guidelines consider each parent's income as well as the child custody arrangements when arriving at a final award of support. Our Warwick child custody attorney helps married and unmarried parents negotiate parenting plans that are specific enough to avoid problems but customized enough to meet the unique needs of their children and families.
Post Divorce Issues
Modification of Court Orders : Child custody and child support orders may need to change as your child grows and your family situation changes. We help clients obtain a modification of existing court orders – or fight the proposed change.
Domestic violence: We handle domestic violence issues with care, helping clients with restraining orders and complaints for protection from abuse.
Contact Hoopis & Hoopis to schedule a free consultation regarding legal separation and divorce in Rhode Island. We are here to help.
Hoopis & Hoopis Attorney is located in Warwick, RI and they practice includes all cities and towns in RI including Providence, Warwick, Cranston, Pawtucket, Greenville, Coventry, Cumberland, South Kingstown, West Warwick, Johnston, North Kingstown, Newport, Westerly, Smithfield, Lincoln, Portsmouth, Barrington, Middletown, Narragansett, East Greenwich and North Smithfield.


13, 2013, following months of allegations of both infidelity and drug abuse swirling around her husband, according to TMZ. The couple married in September 2009 after a whirlwind one-month courtship. Kardashian cited "irreconcilable differences" in the filing and asked that the "Odom" be removed from her legal name, seeking no spousal support and requesting that he seek none from her. Also in 2013, Kardashian's mother Kris Jenner and stepdad Bruce Jenner announced that they had separated, and sister Kim Kardashian finalized her year-and-a-half divorce from basketball player Kris Humphries. MORE: Khloe Kardashian files for Kim Kardashian tape divorce from Lamar Odom (Chris Pizzello / Associated Press / August 8, 2010) By Eric Pincus The Lamar Odom - Khloe Kardashian marriage appears to be over.
Khloe Kardashian Odom will receive genuine sympathy in divorce from Lamar Odom
Khloe Kardashian, as she has petitioned to become once again, is probably the most well-loved member of the ridiculously over-exposed (double entendre intended) family. She married Odom very shortly after even meeting him in Sept. 2009, but it appeared that she truly attempted to make the marriage work. Of course, her marriage lasted a lot longer than her sister Kim's 72-day fairy-tale marriage to Kris Humphries.
Khloe Kardashian a Detective in Her Spare Time?
Kardashian that is Khloe we speak of here, since there are so many knows what is right for her life and follows her own path to happiness. She seems to know when and where to turn it around, as evidenced by her impending breakup with her husband of four years, Lamar Odom. She knew when she was in love and she knew when the love disappeared. Kardashian is a true spirit of reality, usually seen comforting and cajoling with the rest of the family on the show. She is an upbeat member of the family, despite her own personal woes. Kardashian carries onwithin the fold of the familyscraziness, dictatorship of mom, Kris, andthe constant ongoing projects. She shows up in style andready to gofor every shopping trip and vacation. Always ready for the camera, Kardashian hides her true feelings of woe and remorse, wondering and wants, justsomehow fitting in and going with the crowd. Its what they all do, but Khloe may beg to differ, if given the chance. Kardashian is a strong member of the clan, never really wanting to know her birthright and acknowledging Robert Sr. as her true father. The opinions are out there as Khloe has always seemed to be against the grain in some way. Her detective skills are apt and on guard to what she wants to know and when. Do not deny the third sister of anything less, Khloeis on it all the way.


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We’ve been together for years. We’ve got a very strong connection. And it becomes stronger as you go through stuff together. Like when your parents die. Difficult times bring people closer to each other.
A: As you get older, it becomes more important to be there for the other person. When you go through a difficult time… the relationship becomes stronger. And then your attitude is also important. And the way in which you talk to each another. You can say something in a nice manner, or you can say it in a hurtful way. For me, that is really important in a relationship: to be considerate.
B: Obviously, at the beginning sex is important. It’s exciting. And then it passes. It turns into something deeper.
A: Sometimes I’ll pace up and down the house all evening, without saying a word. Then B thinks I am angry. But I simply don’t feel like talking. But in that moment, you think it is personal. I don’t like conflict.
B: Sometimes I also don’t feel like spending time with A. Or with people, for that matter. Then A also takes it personally.
A: When I met B, I didn’t believe in relationships. They say when you meet the right person, you’ll know. And then I met B.
B: In the beginning there will always be growing pains. I think being in love helps you get through those growing pains. But eventually that phase of being in love goes away. We are soulmates. I hope we are soulmates.
A: We won’t hold hands in a restaurant. You’ll rather let your leg touch the other’s leg underneath the table. A way of saying ‘I am here with you’. The other day we went to the grocery store. And we bumped into a friend who recently celebrated his birthday. We haven’t seen him in ages. I think for a moment neither of us thought about what we were doing. So we greeted him with a kiss. There was a man in the store who saw it. He looked at us with disgust.
B: Sometimes I have a sense of guilt towards society. For example, I would have liked to walk hand in hand with A. I miss that. Being so comfortable in public. You can cling to a woman and nobody would think it is strange.
A: Gay, straight, marriage, relationship… whatever it is, in any type of relationship, the same small stuff will irritate the other one. But the happiness is also there.


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As I scrolled through my news feed I stumbled upon my boyfriend’s profile because he was tagged him in an old photo ex girlfriend from a party they were at years ago. Immediately I was filled with intense jealousy and a raging sensation to blame my boyfriend, which ultimately caused a huge fight. The entire scenario resulted from Facebook’s ability to “tag” a picture of my current boyfriend and post it onto the newsfeed, causing massive tension between us. I then realized how Facebook has the ability and opportunity to create an unbearable jealousy trait of someone and major tension between romantic couples of all ages.
The everyday use of Facebook and easily accessed activities, like tagging or uploading a photo, create a connection between its users. However this intent advances multiple traits of possible obsessive curiosity, constant worry, paranoia and suspicion for a partner in a relationship. Amy Muise, who has a Master’s in Science suggests in her study that “exposing one’s social network activities in a public domain appears to have some negative implications for romantic and sexual relationships” (Muise 441). It’s relatively easy to connect with all Facebook users and to reconnect with past partners due to the excessive usage and easy access provided to its users.
An important thing to remember when it comes to Facebook threatening a relationship is the role of photos; tagging or viewing. The author Greg Mod with a B.A. in Anthropology and Sociology discusses the background of photographs and tags coinciding with Facebook. He states that “photos play an important role for any Facebook user with over 300 million images being updated daily and that can be swapped between users” (qtd. In Mod pg 1). Partners are more prone to monitor their partner’s activity on Facebook, leading to feelings of jealousy and eventually arguments hurting the romantic relationship. Ultimately Facebook can become addicting, over informative, and makes it too easy to reconnect with old lovers.
Looking at the psychological aspect of why or how people can experience jealous we can look directly at individual levels of trust and self-esteem (Muise 441). Muise talks about how if a partner doubts their partner’s involvement or commitment to their own relationship they are prone to lower levels of trust and commitment issues, resulting in the excessive Facebook monitoring (Muise, 442). Although it may seem as if Facebook isn’t solely responsible for the cause of relationship jealousy, it still has the availability to increase contact with past romantic and sexual partners, therefore creating potential jealousy between the current couple in a relationship. Also Facebook has the potential to enhance the connection between people that may not usually communicate and interact with, leading to suspicion.
The obvious solution to this problem of Facebook being a jealousy enhancer to romantic relationships is to control one’s feelings of jealousy, level of trust and self-esteem, which can ultimately result in a better psychological point for both partners. More so, the connection that results between Facebook use and jealousy can be eliminated by the amount of time spent on this social media network and more time on working with your current partner and the current relationship. A study revealed that an average person spends about 38.93 minutes on Facebook each day and about 74.6% of participants were likely to add previous romantic or sexual partners as friends (Muise 442).
Concluding here that the information emerging from Facebook is revealed to partners that is not usually accessible otherwise, resulting in questions like “Do I really know what my partner is doing behind my back and on Facebook?” However I can further conclude, Facebook can result in activities that don’t always look like what they seem; meaning Facebook can seem somewhat ambiguous and misleading resulting in jealousy traits.


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.
Functional Engagement and Its Relationship to Self-Regulation: Analytical Study at the International Development Bank
Corresponding Author(s) : Fadiyya Lutfi Abdulwahhab
American Journal of Economics and Business Management,
Vol. 4 No. 5 (2021): AJEBM
This research seeks to reveal the role of functional engagement as an independent variable with its three components (cognitive engagement, behavioral engagement, and emotional engagement) in self-regulation as a dependent variable, and realizing the importance of these topics investigated because of their effects on the individual, organization and society. To achieve this objective and for the importance of the expected results from the researched field, the questionnaire was used as a basic tool for data collection, which was distributed to the members of the research sample of the employees of the International Development Bank, which numbered (100) individuals, and covered (48) items for measurement. The research reached a set of results, the most important of which is that there is a significant effect relationship between the research variables (functional engagement and self-regulation), and the dimension of emotional engagement was the most influential in self-regulation, and these results were consistent with the hypothesis from which the research was launched.
Download CitationEndnote/Zotero/Mendeley (RIS)


-講者: Hung-Chung Su (University of Michigan)
-演講題目: Follow or Lead? Environmental Practices Adoption Speed in Buyer-Supplier Dyads
-日期: 2022/06/01 13:00-15:00
-地點: 管CM1032 教室
-報名連結: https://reurl.cc/WrvlLx (報名至2022/05/27為止)
This study focuses on understanding the effect of relative adoption speed of environmental practices on dyad level sales in buyer-supplier dyads. We want to know if the suppliers’ adoption speed of environmental practices relative to their key buyers results in any financial benefit. Prior literature in sustainable operations has examined extensively the effect of environmental practices on firm performance and most studies found a positive relationship. However, very few studies focus on the effect of relative adoption speed between a buyer and a supplier. In the eyes of buyers, a supplier’s adoption speed of environmental practices relative to them may influence how much sales they would like to allocate to a specific supplier. For suppliers, their key buyers often account for a significant portion of their sales. Suppliers can decide to become either a leader (e.g., adopting more practices earlier than their buyers) or a follower (e.g., adopting more practices later than their buyers) in the eyes of their buyers. Since adopting environmental practices always entice certain amount of investment, knowing the financial implications of relative adoption speed could provide some guidance for suppliers.


In the south we say, "I'm gonna hug you 'round your neck!" But
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What are the 4 main ingredients for a happy relationship?
Trust: Trust is a core feature in human relationships. In a relationship, there needs to be confidence that The Other, usually our partner, will have our best interest at heart. Trust is a close cousin of faith and confidence; faith and confidence that The Other is aware that they hold our heart and will not drop it. Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship and has as its base the belief and expectation that our partner would do nothing to betray us or our trust. Trust begins at birth, when an infant learns to expect that his or her needs will be consistently met and that parents will protect and provide for them. This trust becomes the template for all of our relationships throughout our lives and proves to be the most important ingredient in a relationship.
Mutual Respect: Do you hear, respect and honor each other? Is there room enough for both of your feelings? Do you treat and are you treated in a respectful way by your partner? What it comes down to is treating each other kindly.
Empathy: When your partner shares his or her feelings with you, even those feelings that include feedback to you, can you get separate enough to hear the hurt or scared little boy or girl in your adult partner and hear, really hear, what they are saying and empathize? Or do you get defensive, try to "fix", or explain away their feelings? Empathy, the vicarious experience of the feelings, thoughts or attitudes of another, requires us to be there for another in a way that allows them to be heard and understood. Without empathy on our part, our partners will stop sharing. And without sharing, there is no true relationship. We all want to feel heard and understood. Eye contact, reflective listening (reflecting back that we hear the other person and can understand them) and non-judgmental responses show our partner we are empathic to their feelings which helps them feel safe enough to share in the future.
Fun: If we aren't having fun together then what are we doing? Ideally, we enjoy our partner, look forward to seeing them, laugh with them, giggle, smile, reminisce over times shared together and spend enjoyable time together. And laugh. Did I mention: "Laugh"?!


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Dating apps can sometimes be a drag. Swiping till your thumbs hurt and racking your brain for witticisms about your matches’ ski holiday, before the conversation inevitably fizzles out and you’re left with a wasteland of matches unless some bizarre alchemy takes place, is hardly the romantic dream many of us have fantasised about and it can leave you feeling hopeless.
Enter the dating app coach. Singles of all ages are turning to coaches who specifically tailor their services to dating apps. These services range from simple advice around how to upgrade your dating app profile, to full-blown app management, in which an expert will set up your profile and reply to messages for you, as well as providing support – often both administrative and emotional.


In memory of Judith Carsten.
I honestly could go on and on about Miss Judy. She was absolutely amazing! Many, many years ago I met her and my life was changed forever. She became my co-worker, friend and – most importantly – my family. She was joy, laughter, love and sunshine. She was a great listener and was always there with support, advice, guidance and prayer. You could count on Judy to be firm and set you straight with her no-nonsense attitude. At the same time, she ended every conversation with a sweet hug and kiss on the cheek. She loved with her whole heart and her faith was extremely important to her – I truly believe it made her the fantastic woman that she was. She has touched so many lives within our MGA family and MGA is a better place because of her. She will always have a special place in my heart and I cherish the time that I had her in my life. She will be greatly missed.
Thank you Miss Judy for being you! I love you with all my heart.


One table, many views
Sitting in a planning session recently, I was intrigued by the five women that sat gathered around the table with me. Taking a moment to step back and process our time together identified the vast differences that existed in our group ranging from; appearance, size, personality, communication style, background, approach, thought process, etc – yet we all had a common job bringing us together, so there we sat around the same table planning the same training session committed to find a point of unity so that we could carry a message to the same audience.
Has this been an easy process? No, we are six women possessing all of these differences. You better believe there have been points of contention, frustration, disagreement, but out of respect one for one another we have given each other the opportunity to have our voice heard and through that, realized the value that each of us brings to the table.
It reminds me a lot of this highly controversial day. Here we are, one people, living in one nation needing to come to a point of unity. No, we don’t all share the same view, beliefs, support, whatever, but we are all gathered together ‘around the same table’, and it is our job to take the time out of respect and honor one to another to take the time and see the value of each person seated in those chairs coming into obedience of John 13:34;
“A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.”
It is when we step into that commandment, that we come together no matter the difference into a point of unity. So today, I challenge you…love…Choose Him


8 Proven Ways - How to Live Most Romantic Life.
Are you looking to add some spark to your love life?
Who doesnt want a romantic, sustainable relationship and have strong bond between partner in their life.
Whether you’re in a new relationship or have been with your partner for years, it’s important to keep the romance alive. Here, you will know 8 proven ways to live the most romantic life possible.
From surprise dates to heartfelt gestures, these tips will help you strengthen your bond and create lasting memories with your loved one.
Living a romantic life can bring joy and fulfillment to your relationships and daily experiences. Here are some proven ways to bring more romance into your life:
1. Show appreciation and gratitude towards your partner.
One of the most important ways to nurture a romantic relationship is by expressing your appreciation and gratitude towards your partner.
This can be as simple as saying "thank you" for something they did or writing them a thoughtful note or letter.
2. Make time for quality togetherness.
In today's busy world, it can be easy to neglect your relationship and fall into a routine. However, making time for quality togetherness is essential for maintaining a romantic connection.
This could mean setting aside regular date nights, taking weekend getaways, or simply making an effort to spend more quality time together.
3. Be thoughtful and considerate.
Small gestures of thoughtfulness and consideration can go a long way in creating a romantic atmosphere.
This could be as simple as bringing your partner their favourite coffee in the morning or remembering to pick up a small gift when you know they’ll appreciate it.
4. Communicate openly and honestly.
Open and honest communication is key to any healthy relationship, and this is especially true in a romantic relationship.