As per an exclusive from Page Six, Jacob Elordi and Kaia Gerber have separated on “amicable terms.” There had already been speculation from fans when Gerber deleted photos of Elordi from her Instagram profile.
However, for some reason, the 20-year-old model has kept one picture featuring the former couple at her birthday bash in September.
Jacob Elordi and Kaia Gerber were reportedly in a relationship for over a year, as the two were first spotted in September 2020. The former pair were last seen on October 31 when they attended a Halloween party together. Kaia was previously linked with Pete Davidson until January 2020.
Jacob Elordi’s relationship timelines
The 24-year-old Australian actor has been linked with multiple co-stars over the past few years. The actor’s first publicly known relationship was with Joey King.
Joey King (2017-2018)
Jacob Elordi met Joey King on the set of Kissing Booth in January 2017. The pair reportedly became involved romantically around a month into the shoot.
Joey King later told Bello Magazine,
“It was such an interesting experience meeting your boyfriend on set because you spend so much time together and become so close so fast. We were spending 17 hours a day together, and all of us would hang out after work and watch movies together and stuff. It was great.”
After dating for almost two years, the two made their relationship Instagram official around 2017’s summer and reportedly separated in February 2019. As per the seeming tradition with Jacob Elordi, the couple purged almost every moment of them together on their respective Instagram profiles.
Jacob Elordi and Joey King have since appeared in two Kissing Booth sequels.
Zendaya (2019 – 2020)
Zendaya and Jacob Elordi played Rue Bennett and Nate Jacobs, respectively, on Euphoria. The show debuted in June 2019, and the two were first speculated to be in a relationship in August 2019 when the paparazzi spotted them vacationing in Greece together.
In November 2019, Zendaya reportedly spent Thanksgiving with Elordi’s family in Australia. The two were also spotted at the 2019 GQ Men of the Year Awards. However, they did not pose for photos together. A month later, in an interview with GQ for his profile, Jacob Elordi revealed that Zendaya is more like his sister.
The rumored couple have shut down speculation of them dating multiple times. In February 2020, they were spotted by paparazzi while engaging in PDA in Manhattan, New York. The exact time of their breakup is not publicly known, but it seems to be a couple of months before September 2020.
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ATM / Er Rak Error (2012) 720p HD English & Indonesia Subtitle
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|Two employees at a bank have been having a secret relationship for the past five years. Worried that their romance might soon be discovered and he will lose his job, he decides he should propose marriage and ask his bride to be to resign from the bank. But, things don’t go as plan.|


Official site of Slow Dog, the award-winning children's book.
Share some love on a daily basis. Murphy, Aug. 7, 2022
Tell someone you love them. Murphy, April 24, 2022
May your heart guide you. Murphy, April 10, 2022
It’s all about love. Murphy, Feb. 20, 2022


Ashlyn and Chance what can we say, it was a beautiful wedding with lovely family and friends by your side. It was a GORGEOUS wedding. Thank you for choosing Camryn's Place and best wishes for a long and happy marriage
Ciara and Nathan, surrounded by their friends, family and sweet Blaine said their I do's on June 25th. Ciara made a GORGEOUS bride and Nathan was grinning from ear to ear when he saw her in the most amazing dress. Best Wishes you guys for a long and happy marriage.
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This couple is extra special to us at Camryn's Place. Dylan has been a personal friend and coworker. We are truly humbled that you allowed us the privilege of working with you both. We are so excited for your future as husband and wife. CONGRATULATIONS
Talk about a sweet couple!! Rachel and Bobby were so much fun and like part of the family. Thank you both for choosing us. We are so honored and blessed to know you. CONGRATULATIONS
Photography by Kelsey Burris
We made new friends at this couples wedding. This bride and groom were so down to earth and became our friends by the end of the night. It was a gorgeous day with the BEST family and friends. Thank you both for choosing us. BEST WISHES ` Kevin and Kelly
We were so honored to be a part of this beautiful wedding. The absolute sweetest bride, groom and family. It was truly the BEST DAY. Thank you Shaley and Colton for choosing Camryn's Place
We have the sweetest couples at Camryn's Place!! These two were so laid back and just happy to be finally getting married. They are both the sweetest souls. Thanks you Chelsey and Roger for choosing us. Congratulations.
Photography by: Jayme Smith Photography
Shiann and Just were married on 11.13.21. These two had the sweetest people in their bridal party and were so good to work with. It was a GORGEOUS wedding. Congratulations Shiann and Justin. We wish you two the best
Emily and Zach thank you so much for your trust in Camryn's Place for your wedding. It was just a GORGEOUS, FUN wedding and you both looked AMAZING
Blessed is the word that comes to mind with this bride and groom and their family and friends. Such a beautiful day and couple. Thank you Brooke and Chris for trusting us for this important day. Congratulations
What an amazing day with their family and friends surrounding them to celebrate. Congratulations Emma and Trenton and THANK YOU for choosing us. We were honored you did.
Photograpy By: Petunias Phetography
ALauren and Brandon Thank you for trusting us for this most important day. Your wedding was absolutely precious. ALauren you made a BEAUTIFUL bride and Brandon could not quit smiling. Best Wishes to you both for a long and happy marriage.
Courtney and Justin, where do I even begin? You two were so very happy the ENTIRE day and ALL SMILES. What a GORGEOUS wedding with beautiful family and friends. Thank you for blessing us and trusting us. BEST WISHES --Kevin & Kelly
This was a fun one!! Michelle and Ryan were both so much fun to work with and the wedding was one for the books. Their guests seemed to have had the BEST TIME. Michelle and Ryan we wish you guys the absolute best. 9.18.21
Chris and Julie had the most beautiful wedding in September. Pumpkins were plentiful and oh so festive. Weather was perfect and we are so happy for them both. Congratulations you two!!!
What a precious wedding and day. This Bride and Groom was so special to us and we will forever be grateful that you chose us for this very important day. CONGRATULATIONS
I am at a loss for words over these two! Two of the kindest souls we have had the pleasure to work with on this journey. Brandi and Todd were the "perfect couple" and couple that with an amazing family and friends. IT is a venue owners dream wedding. Thank you Brandi, Todd and family for making this job a dream come true. Congratulation and best wishes for many many years together
Photography by: Leah Williams Photography
The sweetest Bride and Groom. Both Brittany and Eric smiled the entire day. It was a GORGEOUS wedding with the sweetest people. Thank you for choosing us you two. CONGRATULATIONS
Stacey and David chose Camryn's Place for their big day. The two were wed on April 10th. What a special day for these two. Congratulations Stacey and David and thank you for choosing us
March 20th Shaelyn and Cade, along with their beautiful family were married at Carmyns Place. Such a gorgeous day for these two to celebrate their big day. Congratulations Shaelyn and Cade.
Photography by: Moon Productions & Photo
Where do we start with these two? Two of the most grateful and appreciative people we have had the pleasure to work with. So clearly in love and an absolutely GORGEOUS wedding. Thank you two for choosing us for your big day.
Photography by: The Mini Maverick
Darcy and Jonathon were married March 13th. The absolute sweetest couple. Family came in from different states and celebrated these two and it was truly a beautiful wedding day. Congratulations Darcy and Jonathon
Photography by: Magnolia & Honey Photography
Our first Winter Wedding. Constance and Chad had an ABUNDANCE of family and friends that wanted to be involved in preparing and helping with their wedding. Friends decorated the barn in such a magical winter theme. The barn smelled of evergreen and pine. Constance made a beautiful bride and together the two of them danced the night away with this wonderful group of friends and family. Congratulations Constance and Chad and best wishes for a long and happy marriage. 12.9.21
Photography by: Karli Bennett Imagery
Lucas & Scarlet celebrated their wedding on a beautiful, sunny Saturday in November. Not only was it a gorgeous day, but a day filled with loads of love from family and friends. Scarlet made such a BEAUTIFUL bride and he looked at her with such love in his eyes. Guest were a witness to the most spectacular interpretive dance by the mother of the groom. Such a spirit filled, spirit led moment from such a loving mother. Thank you Lucas and Scarlet for allowing us the privilege of being a part of your big day. Best wishes for many many years together and a long, happy and BLESSED marriage 11.21.20
Photography by: Always Abbey Photography
Colyn and Michael are family. Colyn is our daughter, and Michael is our son in law. They had a beautiful dream wedding with absolutely gorgeous weather. Colyn and Michael "met" in 6th grade. Their story is the sweetest. Dated all through High School then went their separate ways and ended up right back together. 11.14.20
Talk about a sweet couple. Zach and Kaitlyn had a gorgeous wedding. Thank you Zach and Kaitlyn for sharing your dream day with us. Best wishes for a long and happy life together. 11.7.20
Rose and David celebrated their big day on October 24th. A beautiful ceremony with a bride and groom that are truly crazy about each other, with their family and friends surrounding them. Thanks you Rose and David for choosing our barn for your magical day. 10.24.20
Rebekah and Michael- where do we start? The most polite, soft spoken, organized bride. and his smile when he looked at her would melt any heart. The happiness on the face of both of them was so very obvious. Such a beautiful spirit filled day and stunning wedding. Thank you Rebekah and Michael for trusting Camryn's Place for your wedding day. We are forever grateful.
Hannah and Tyler, thank you so very much for allowing us the pleasure of working with you for your wedding. From the planning process to the end you guys made our jobs so easy and it was such a pleasure. Hannah, you were the most "thoughtful" bride I have ever witnessed. Not one thing went unnoticed by you. From the many gifts to others sitting in the bridal suite to thanking even my husband and I, you were so thoughtful. Best wishes to you and Tyler for a long and very happy marriage. 10.10.20
Where do I start with these two. Two of the most humble people on this PLANET. They are so in love with each other and brought so much joy to us during the planning of their wedding. So much so that when they left the night of their wedding I was emotional at watching them walk away. Joe and Carrie, thank you so much for being such a pleasure to work with.
Kendon and Victoria booked us for the beautiful wedding reception. They were married down the road from the barn on a family farm. It was rainy afternoon but the rain did not disappoint these two and wow wow WOW did they make the most beautiful photographs. Their photographer knocked it out of the park.
Thank you both for choosing Camryn's Place at Cane Creek for your beautiful day. Best wishes for a long and happy marriage. 8.29.20
Mikayla and Ben had our first Sunday afternoon wedding. What a gorgeous afternoon with the sweetest bride and groom and family. Thank you both for choosing us for your BIG DAY. We are forever grateful. Best wishes for a long, happy and beautiful marriage. 8.23.20
Cheyenne and Abigail ..... as I write this post all I can think about is the way he looked at her. He kept a smile on his face throughout the ENTIRE ceremony and the test of the night. The two of them never let go of each other. What a beautiful thing to witness. And, the ceremony was filled with love for each other as well as GOD centered. What a pleasure for Kevin and I to have gotten to be a part. THANK YOU THANK THANK YOU for sharing your day with us. Congratulation and best wishes for a long and BLESSED marriage. 6.19.20
Photography by: @hannahdainephotography
How blessed are we at Camryn's Place to have had the PRIVILEGE to work with Tori and Ryder. This one is extra special because Tori was my student and Ryder was Kevin's student. We are so happy for your future and we love the fact that you trusted US with your big day. We love you guys.... CONGRATULATIONS
Photography: Lasting Impressions by Landree
This wedding for my husband and I was so very special. Our very first wedding EVER! Megan and Jeremy had the most precious wedding. What a beautiful love story. The sweetest of families and a BEAUTIFUL bride Megan was in her mothers wedding gown. Thank you Megan and Jeremy for trusting us and believing in Camryn's Place. Best wishes for a long and very happy marriage. We wish you all the best. 3.21.20
Sara Grace Photography


We have learned from breeding programs at zoos that animals do not love and breed well in captivity. How ironic that people seek captivity on Valentine’s Day to rekindle their love and affection.
That captivity can be as simple as a private dinner, or as elaborate as a couples vacation or staycation at a romantic hotel. We know this well because Valentine’s Day is one of our busiest holidays at The Rose Hotel. Our rooms for this coming Valentine’s Day weekend have been sold out for weeks. Although we hardly consider our hotel a place of “captivity” it’s obvious to us why loving couples find us so irresistible. It is easy to find that precious alone-time at The Rose, either in our luxurious rooms, our quiet lobby, nearby restaurants or a simple stroll down the historic Main Street running perpendicular to our front door.
We do plenty to facilitate that loving feeling with our year-round Romance Package, which includes:
It has been sung that Love is a rose but you better not pick it, only grows when it’s on the vine.
We would disagree. We invite you to pick The Rose for your next romantic getaway and we will prove our case.
Written by Mike Consol


Anonymous asked: are you mad at me? because if you are im sorry I feel in love with you.
hun, you wouldn’t know love. You know me well, and how mean and hateful i am. And you know damn well, that it’s not you and is someone else that im upset over, so shhh.


Explore a typical Australian dancing activity and bring your team closer together when attending a bush dance.
Bush dances are great for team building. With no experience necessary, the caller will provide instructions for each song. Back in the 1800’s, bush dances were the way communities would come together and get to know each other in Australia.
Keep that tradition alive with your team.


When viewing institutional hierarchy you can see how institutions are related to one another
These solid bars indicate a direct relationship between that institution and its parents or subsidiaries.
The first level is always blue, then different colours are used further down the hierarchy. Identify Online displays up-to four levels at a time.
The broken lines indicate a shared subsidiary and clicking on the show hierarchy button to the left of the organization will show all parent institutions.
Hover over an organization to see its parent institution.
Where a shared subsidiary is indicated click the show hierarchy button to see the relationship in detail.
In this example, Follet Higher Education Group AND University of California Berkeley are parents of the Student Store.


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A Marriage and Love that Thrives
February 17 @ 5:00 pm - 7:00 pm UTC+0
Join Church of the Messiah for A Marriage and Love that Thrives, a heartwarming celebration of everlasting love, where engaged or married couples gather to strengthen their bonds. You can register at www.eventbrite.com/e/a-


"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another."
"But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil. Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful."
"...and don't do what you hate..."
Copyright © 2007-2020 Ahimsa University, All rights reserved.


Great. In the beginning of the book, Goodwin demonstrates, through letters between men, just how screwed up we have become about friendships. It was common for hetero men to express love and longing towards each other....one reason, I think, was because they weren't scared of being accused of being homosexuals. But this is a problem I see between all people in present day America. We only allow ourselves to express these feelings when feeling romantic love. I think it damages us that we don't feel free to express deep, loving feelings towards any loved one.
There were, of course, numerous other great things about this book.


Client Relationship Manager
- Administrative Support Specialist
- Rasmussen College – Early Childhood Education
- Resides in Cedar Rapids with her husband Keith, daughter Kayci, and two dogs, Baxter and Abby.
- Loves spending time with family and friends, biking, hiking, traveling, and watching the Hawkeyes and Packers.


Two guys tease another guy about falling in love.
Nemanja and Gabriel make fun of Pirooz because he blushes every time he sees a beautiful bartender named Marietta in a small village in Switzerland. After being prodded to make a film, Pirooz decides to make a film of his friend’s ridicule so he can talk to Marietta without reproach from his partner in Los Angeles. Marietta agrees to be in the film, but the making of the film disintegrates after Marietta refuses to film anymore and further relationships woes surround all the characters, as Nemanja deals with a break-up, Gabriel falls in love, Marietta moves back to her boyfriend in Slovakia, and Pirooz faces his partner on Skype.
For inclusion in a festival or to request a review copy, please e-mail here.


I know that I’m hard to love. Some days I’m all smiles and affection and then other days there’s nothing I want more than to be quiet and lie in bed.
Sometimes I get angry about stupid things and won’t want to talk to you. Other days I’ll think that you’re the most perfect person in the world.
Please don’t give up on me. I know it’s not easy but I’ll always come back to you."Letters to the next (I hope you try)
the actual, physical ache you feel in your chest and in your bones when you’re so sad is fucking awful.
I love my boyfriend so much buts it’s so weird to be in a relationship with a boy who loves me all the time and cares about me so much even though he knows I’m a crazy girl… Didn’t know boys could do that


“You singles out there, go to the lobby and just find someone to marry.”
Someone whom I knew and respected actually said that at a meeting I attended a few years ago. I wish I were kidding.
It wasn’t a meeting about marriage or singleness. It wasn’t part of some crazy dare, either. Instead, we were at a regular work event, and the comment had nothing to do with the leadership issues being discussed.
As if being an effective leader required having a spouse by your side. As if that’s how you’d find a great spouse. As if being married to just anyone—even if you had to go find him or her in a hotel lobby—was the key to happiness.
As if being happily single was not an option. (more…)


Do you know whether you are being loyal or codependent? Loyalty is a healthy allegiance and collegiality with another for mutual benefit. Co-dependence is an imbalanced debilitating relationship born from a misperceived need rather than love. Usually one party gets hurt more than another in a co-dependent relationship. The co-dependent person thinks that he is actually helping the other whereas the truth is that the co-dependent person is hurting the other person by making excuses for the other person and doing what the other person should be doing for himself. True sobriety involves eliminating codependence. Realizing that we are not responsible for another's happiness is very important to the peace of mind necessary to not picking up the first drink or drug or harmful behavior.
Today I will be on guard for letting someone else take advantage of me. I will stop myself if I can see that the results of my trying to help another person is actually weakening that person. Most of all, I will not allow myself to be victimized.


Eva Evangelopouloua, Maria Karantonib
a Psychotherapist, Hellenic Institute of Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy for Children and Adolescence, Athens, Greece
b Psychologist, Department of Child Psychiatry, Tzaneio General Hospital, Piraeus, Greece
In families we see interpersonal and intrapersonal levels as intertwined. Thus emerges the need to address both. Quite often, when working systemically with families and couples we have come across areas which go beyond systemic theory in its making. In this paper we identify some of these issues: that of emotional experience and of therapeutic relationship. We present a case study, a married couple (male and female) in therapy with two female therapists. We discuss our work with relational triangles, circular questioning, here-and-now interactions as we investigate circular causality at multiple levels of interaction; within the individual (intra-psychic level), in the family (interpersonal), in the therapeutic system (therapists and clients), at an intergenerational level. With the instances presented we show how epistemology on intra-psychic experience and ‘being in a relationship’ accommodate interpersonal interventions, quite often a pathway necessary to bring about change. We present our ideas as they have emerged from necessities of practice and are intrigued by the intersections between analytic and systemic contexts.
“How do couples pair and function?”
Marriage is a rule-governed system (not an altogether conscious one) in which “each party must receive something for what he gives and which, consequently, defines the rights and duties of the parties in the bargain” (Jackson, 1965 cited in Gerson, 2010, p.66). A marital and couple relationship in the western culture involves personal investment, a shared history and the emotional pressure of ‘making it work’. In other cultures where marriages are arranged and are more so the joining of two families the pressure is on ‘losing face’ and shame (Jenkins, 2006). In the present article we refer to western culture relationships and couples in accordance to the case study that follows.
When two people join in matrimony, they bring their beliefs, family scripts, mental maps, stories and narratives from their previous life experiences into their relationship. Their internal models interrelate with those of the other and build a new construct or, better yet, patterns of interaction, soundly based upon transgenerational scripts, and past experience. These patterns of interaction are reciprocal. Whereas some systemic authors have considered these patterns as circular (Watzlawick & Weakland, 1977), others within the psychodynamic tradition have placed the spotlight upon underlying interlocking dynamics. Melanie Klein, for example, postulates that object relations are present from the beginning of life. She suggests that the mother’s breast is the primal object, and the child is splitting between the good and bad breast. This results in splitting love from hate; thus the child intrοjects and projects. Therefore, object relations are formed by the interaction between internal and external objects and situations (Klein, 1957).
Neuroscientists have taken an interest in how couples connect, interact and interrelate. Focus on social-emotional cueing has lead to some interesting findings regarding the patterns which govern a couple’s communication system. Schore (2003) speaks of a ‘right brain-to-right-brain attachment communication’. The right hemisphere is central in evaluating social stimuli (facial expression, prosody, nonverbal communication, etc). It rapidly and nonconsciously assesses and, consequently, attributes negative or positive emotional significance. Bonding in everyday life, results in couples becoming attuned to each other’s body language, mood states, and nonverbal communication. Dysregulating affect patterns in a couple trigger the procedure of negative attribution of social stimuli. Facial expression alone may act as cue (quite often at an out-of-awareness level) for the other partner’s affective reaction (Gerson, 2010).
Attachment theory has some interesting answers to offer to the question of how couples pair. It was Bowlby (1988) who initially postulated ‘seeking contact’ as a primary principle in individuals and identified two patterns of attachment: secure and anxious. Mary Ainsworth (Ainsworth et al., 1978 cited in Gerson, 2010) further extended the theory with her observations on toddler behavior in response to mother’s withdrawal in the ‘strange situation’ condition. Her categories of ‘secure’, ‘ambivalent’, ‘avoidant’ and ‘disorganised’ infants were further investigated by Ainsworth’s student, Mary Main, who developed the Adult Attachment Interview. Her assumption was that the representations adults have of their attachments with their parental figures (Main et al., 2003 cited in Gerson, 2010) predicted their own orientation toward attachment –secure or insecure (dismissing, preoccupied, unresolved)- i.e. towards their infants. Anxious individuals are hypervigilant and weary of abandonment. Avoidant individuals keep a distance in intimate relationships. Secure individuals in relationships are emotionally engaged, self-revealing and happy. An interesting implication here for therapy is that individuals who had had a ‘rotten’ childhood but could tell a coherent story about it, were likely to have securely attached children. Coherent is the consistent and plausible reverie one makes of her past acknowledging her feelings but also empathizing with her parents and their behavior.
There is no single answer to the question “how do couples pair?” on an attachment basis. The therapist can make her speculations with each couple she works with. Life variables such as sexual attractiveness, personal accomplishment, ethnic origin etc. need also be contextualized (Gerson, 2010). Mary Main, however, has offered a pivotal shift for clinical research and practice to the level of representation in relation to attachment. She has cast light upon the significance of personal history in a way that is congruent to both systemic and psychoanalytic thinking.
Byng-Hall (2008) extends these findings with couples; he speaks of “attachment scripts”, i.e. shared expectations of how family roles are to be performed in various contexts. In a family scripts may be replicative, i.e. as experienced in one’s family of origin, or -less often- corrective, i.e. attempts at not repeating perceived mistakes experienced in family of origin. He emphasizes upon relationships that involve more than one generation.
Another theory that tackles the question “how do couples pair?” has been introduced by Bowen. People chose spouses with equal levels of differentiation (Bowen, 1978 cited in Jenkins, 2006). Differentiation of self refers to the ability to separate one’s intellectual and emotional functioning from that of her family. Those with ‘low differentiation’ depend on others’ approval and acceptance. Those with higher differentiation recognize that they need others, but are not dependent upon others’ acceptance and approval.
Couple therapy: a Working Model
The search for patterns is the basis of all scientific investigation (Watzlawick et al., 1967). The perspective we choose for our work in couple therapy is twofold; we take an interest in internal models and their link to earlier life experiences but also consider interrelating models of interaction.
We consider relational impasse as the tip of the iceberg with underlying interactional, intrapsychic, intergenerational and sociocultural elements. Discourse about the connection between these elements, or rather levels of relating, is abundant in past and current literature and research and stems from both systemic and psychodynamic traditions. This assumption is underlying to Mary Main’s attachment in adults; Byng-Hall’s internal working models between self and others (Byng-Hall, 2008); Minuchin’s complementarity (Minuchin, 1974); Bowen’s multigenerational transmission processes; Jenkins’ invisible contracts (Jenkins, 2006); Elkaim’s (1997) reciprocal double binds.
Melanie Klein gives an integrative developmental description. Throughout the description of the oedipal complex she outlines the interdependence of major aspects of development. The sexual development of the child is bound with her object relations and with all the emotions which, from the beginning, mould her attitude to mother and father. Anxiety, guilt and depressive feelings are intrinsic elements of the child’s emotional life and therefore permeate the child’s early object relations, which consist of the relation to actual people as well as to their representations in her inner world. From these introjected figures of the child’s identifications develops the super ego and in turn influences the relation to both parents and the whole sexual development. Thus emotional and sexual development, object relations and super-ego development interact from the beginning (Klein, 1975). Allen, Fonagy and Bateman (2008) suggest that problems can be traced to a crucial stage of development of the self, when the child searches the face of his primary object for representation of his own states of mind; failure to find this forces him into pathological solutions to achieve a containing organization.
From our search of the literature, we find the ‘vulnerability cycle’ construct (Scheinkman & Fishbane, 2004) as an interesting working model for couple (and family) therapy.
Briefly, vulnerability is “a sensitivity that individuals bring from their past or current contexts in their lives to the intimacy of their relationships” (pp281). Just as an injury is sensitive to touch and anticipated pain (actual or perceived) when instigated, vulnerabilities are also sensitive to eminent ‘danger’, anticipate pain and therefore activate self-protective reactivity processes. These modes of reactivity are usually automatic as meanings from past experiences and present situation resonate. These reactivity processes are considered ‘survival positions’ which are construed by beliefs and strategies adopted by the individual in the past, in her family of origin, in order to protect self (and others). Survival strategies in childhood become fused into the interactional tapestry individuals carry within throughout life. When adaptive, these strategies lay the foundation for adaptation and flexibility; when ‘frozen’, they remain undifferentiated from reactive behaviours used in childhood and become problematic leading to relationship impasse in adulthood. Examples of strategies potential for ‘stuckness’ are life mottos, such as ‘crying is a sign of weakness’, ‘women are not to be trusted’, etc. In other words, what was once protective for the individual, may become cause for strife in the interactional dance of the couple in the present. To further extend along this line of thinking, the survival processes activated in one spouse in response to perceived pain (triggered by the other’s behavior) instigates the vulnerabilities of the other spouse who then initiates his / her own survival strategies; thus evolving into relational impasse.
In the therapy room, a couple’s interactional patterns are seen as the dynamic inter-relation between each individual’s vulnerabilities, survival positions and mutual activation processes. These concepts are seen as interconnected in a circular way within the individual (intrapsychic level); but also at an interpersonal level, in the way the couple interacts. We acknowledge this multi-leveled function as circular causality. Therapy thus becomes the means for creating a coherent story; this requires the de-construction of the dominant narrative and myths and the emergence of subjugated stories yet untold. Let us consider the example of a couple in conflict (Byng-Hall, 2008). The husband’s fear of being rejected (an insecure avoidant strategy) was activated when his wife came ‘too close’ with her clinging behavior (insecure ambivalent strategy); when, however, he distanced himself she perceived this as ‘too far’ for fear of abandonment and thus she engaged in further clinging behavior; thus creating a vicious circle.
Circular causality is our investigative spotlight in therapy with families as well. However, for the purposes of the present article we limit our accounts to couples.
Let us for a moment consider the implications made so far: “Analytic perspectives can enrich transactional rules in systems theory” (Gerson, 2010, pp70). In psychoanalytic thinking ‘relational’ is conceived as the individual’s internal world of object relations; systemic theory contemplates upon relational interdependence (Woodcock, 2009). Psychoanalytic psychotherapy focuses upon postulated unconscious mental processes; systemic family therapy is based upon the notion of the family as having a structural quality of a socio-biological system (Dare, 1979).
“Psychoanalytical family therapy utilizes the concepts of psychoanalysis to understand the psychological nature and tasks of individuals, the internal interpersonal longings and fears and the intergenerationally transmitted myths and scripts of family life. This mainly enriches and complements other models of family organization, interventions of an active, directive, strategic or paradoxical nature are given in a way that characterizes most family therapies. Psychoanalytic family therapy differs from other family therapies in seeking to understand the unconscious meaning of both process and family therapy interventions and, late in therapy, these hypothesized unconscious meanings may be communicated in the family” (Dare, 1988, p50)
Let us consider…In circular questioning in systemic therapy is the therapist not making use of the oedipal situation, i.e. the capacity of the individuals to conceive each other’s minds? Does she not become the third party in a dyadic relationship, establishing dyadic ties? Does she not assume a “not-knowing” position which encourages reflexivity? For therapy to progress, is the therapist not perceived as a “good enough parent” able to contain the uncontainable (experiences and struggles) between the couple? Can’t we use what Foulkes (1957) has taught us about group dynamics and communication in the group-analytic approach?
We do not suggest the integration of systemic and psychoanalytic theory; their frameworks are too different. At the same time, we cannot turn a blind eye to the embedded notions we see in our practice. Our interest lays mostly in the necessities which have risen in our clinical practice. We single out two areas in which psychoanalytic ideas emerge from the background into the foreground of our work: (a) therapeutic relationship, (b) emotional experience.
(a) Therapeutic relationship
The analyst co-creates a context with the client and her internal reality. Therapeutic relationship, namely transference – countertransference, is the cornerstone of psychoanalytic practice. The systemic therapist investigates the context(s) in which the family is embedded, i.e. relationship patterns, culture, subculture, economic and social forces. In systemic family and couple therapy 3, 4, 5 transferences are way too many to explore. It is across psyches that the therapist surveys, not within them (Gerson, 2010). Work in the therapy room is twofold: (a) everyday experiences and interactions, (b) the members’ belief systems, their past experiences brought into their present relationships.
And this is where psychoanalytic ideas speak most strongly to the systemic context. It seems inevitable for the individuals and couples not to bring their patterns of relating in the therapeutic relationship; as it is inevitable for the therapist to get involved in the interactive process bringing in her own experiences.
If transference refers to the patterns of experience that a client enacts in therapy, i.e. ‘the living history of ways of relating’ (Scharff &Scharff,1991, p203), then transference in couple therapy is a complicated issue. It involves at least three dyads; each individual and the therapist and between the couple (Woodcock, 2009). Thinking in terms of transference helps the therapist consider relational patterns as brought into the therapeutic relationship. The concept of transference is not to taken carelessly. However it is important that the systemic therapist is aware that unconscious processes are taking place in the therapeutic room.
On the other hand, how do family therapists reflect upon their own work? How is the countertransference experience perceived?
Gerson comments (p225):
…our response to a family system can travel along several different channels. Thus, if a therapist had been a general mediator and peacemaker in his or her family of origin, a fighting, raucous family session might (depending on the degree of self-monitoring) stimulate that very response. Bowenian self-examination should alert one to this tendency. However, if one were also subject at a more unconscious level to acute guilt and then anger during interaction with one’s siblings, then these emotions might be simultaneously evoked by a similar encounter between the children in a family session. Would the unconscious experience of guilt and anger synergistically reinforce the impulse to make peace or would these unavailable feelings derail it? What is the genetic relationship between the dissociated emotions and the role response of the peacemaker? In the face of this kind of complexity the examined psyche becomes something of a life raft in systemic work ….
At a deeper level, the therapeutic relationship is determined by another process, projective identification. Briefly, at an unconscious level unbearable emotions become split off and are projected away from self, onto the other; within a relationship the other (i.e. the therapist, in this case) finds resonance for the identification within her own emotional repertoire (Flaskas, 2005). Jenkins (2006) describes an instance in therapy with a couple which highlights this notion. In the ninth session, the husband, who had a history of depression and physical and verbal outbusts, had given his wife an ultimatum for her to change. When asked if this was a fair view, the husband started to weep. The therapist describes his experience: “… almost a minute passed in silence, during which I experienced a powerful urge, which I knew I would have to address in some way, emotionally, intellectually, or cognitively. I knew that for me at least, it would feel like a barrier about the unspoken if I did not trust myself and said or did nothing. In a quiet voice, I said, ‘If I were your father, I would come over and hug you now’” (p.114). We wonder whether this moment of encounter fits with Elkaim’s (1997) concept of ‘resonance’, which occurs when the same rule or feeling appears to be present in different but related systems.
(b) Emotional experience
Emotional experience occurs in the form of complex feelings and meanings. We are our feelings and how we deal with them. Feeling is the process of being. In order to trust our emotions we have to handle them with a special kind of wisdom or intelligence (Greenberg & Paivio, 1997).
Bion has offered the idea of emotional containment to the analytic relationship. He uses the metaphor of mother-infant communication to describe the relational process between therapist and patient as “…being with the patient in thoughtful reverie where emotional and symbolic meaning is held, interpretations are ventured, and thinking develops” (Larner, 2009 p.203). It would be naïve to equate the emotional and relational intensity of analytic work to the (few in number) systemic therapy sessions. However, seen as the space between persons (and their internal representations), therapy in both disciplines touches upon common ground: the therapist’s “not-knowing” position, or better yet “knowing-not-to-know” (Larner, 2009). The therapist cannot denounce her knowledge and experience but uses it to think through emotional experience and reflectively bring it into the therapeutic dialogue. Fonagy uses the concept of mentalization. To mentalize means to make something mental or more elaborately mental. Mentalizing is holding mind in mind (Allen, Fonagy, Bateman,2008).
Moving further into the systemic realms, “emotion” is replaced by “emotional systems” as they are seen within a relationship. They are more so processes in a communication system (Bertrando & Arcelloni, 2009). The therapist also becomes part of the emotional systems in the therapy room. Awareness of her experience, heightens her “senses” and encourages the unfolding of unspoken meanings.
A good example here is the function of anger (Bertrando & Arcelloni, 2009). If anger is seen as pertaining not to the individual but to the system, it may be considered as an emotion that has a protective effect; it diverts attention of family members (and therapist) from other emotions (such as fear, pain, anxiety) if they are considered as “dangerous”, i.e. disclosing vulnerability and frailty. So, an angry member makes other members insensitive to other emotions and encourages hostility and polarization. Under this light, rather than denying or overrating anger, the therapist is geared towards investigating underlying meanings. What activates anger? What emotional state precedes anger? In the case study presented, it is the fear of frailty and incapability that triggered ongoing, rapidly escalating anger outbursts between the two spouses. The battling was so strong at times that it made it difficult for the therapist to resist being drawn in.
We have worked with Thomas and Elsa for approximately nine months. Thomas is in his late fifties, Elsa in her forties. They have come apart during their 17 years of marriage with fierce outbursts and arguments – which at times have become physical from the part of the husband. The beginning of their relationship was pleasurable but has gradually deteriorated ever since their children were born. They now have three children; a 15-year-old girl, a fourteen-year-old boy and a twelve-year-old girl.
Elsa experienced the fierce divorce of her parents as a teenager. She lived with her mother who re-married two years later. She had a distant relationship with her father and her stepfather ever since. Her younger brother has emotional problems. She recently accepted an early retirement after working as an airhostess.
Thomas was the younger child and only boy of a family of seven. He remembers feeling despised by his mother and indifferent by his father. He is reaching the end of his career.
Thomas and Elsa are at the dawn of a new phase in their lives. Elsa’s early retirement has resulted in her mother – who minded the kids when the parents were travelling- distancing herself from the family; Thomas is at the brink of retirement and re-assessing his life. The couple argues fiercely mostly about how to discipline their son but also, as revealed later on in our sessions, about the husband’s promiscuity.
Couple therapy proceeded a series of family sessions. We therefore had the opportunity to meet the children. In the excerpts that follow we mostly describe the son’s involvement; this does not however mean relationships and patterns of behavior with the other two children were not investigated and contextualized.
Elsa was a good-looking woman, rather closed and embittered. She spoke little about herself but retaliated at her husband’s accusations. Her children and mother were worried she suffered from depression. She saw the role of mother as a “burden” as she felt undermined by her husband who did not support her in setting boundaries to their children, especially their son who quite often became verbally abusive towards her. She resented her husband’s affairs with other women (and knew everything about them). Thomas encouraged the ‘independency’ in his children, especially his son, disqualifying his wife’s concerns and appeals for collaboration. He felt enraged by his wife’s distancing from him and said he had little to no respect for her.
The couple fit
We spent sessions talking about his family; how his mother despised him for being born male and how indifferent his father was towards him. Elsa’s (perceived) discrediting stance towards him awakened this feeling of “de-valuation”. He persecuted her in demand of attention and care. But when Elsa halted at his command and stopped to listen to him, he retaliated with fierce accusations and resentment. It is as if he instigated her to abandon him (as his mother did). That is when she turned her back to him once again. On the other hand, Elsa did not speak much about her own past. When, however, she did, her accounts were invested in pain and grief. Her story told of men who were either incapable or abusive. She had to make it on her own, estranged even from her mother who was engaged elsewhere, i.e. either her difficult brother, or her strife with her first husband or her bond with her new husband. She demanded from her husband to pursue her (not persecute her) and meet her specific needs, that of mother. Thomas could only be capable of dancing at her beat when it came to disciplining the children. Which he didn’t. His outbursts confirmed her worldview that men are not to be trusted. Thus, she distanced herself from him. Following is an excerpt of their interaction which revealed their painful complementary inner match and how we worked through anger:
After several sessions where the wife had difficulties in coming to therapy with her husband, they arrive together. We welcome them and we ask her what made it so difficult for her to come.
Elsa: I do not know. My husband told me that he is fine, and that I am the problem.
Therapist: We were wondering if you think that this is what we believe as well?
Therapist: Then if your husband asked you to come what would be different?
Elsa: Maybe I would not come because he always says the same and the same and the only thing that he does is to accuse me as if he is Mr. Perfect
Therapist: We are wondering if you feel that we support his opinion and if you are concerned that we are going to accuse you too.
Elsa: No, I do not feel like that, I trust you.
Thomas: Stop this please, how many times have I asked you to come? how many times have I asked you to try for this marriage, for this relationship? I am working on my own..Alone..Did you ever respect me? When ?….(laughing…shouting there is tension in his voice)..Always you do not care…you look out only for yourself ….do you hear me ladies? only for herself!
Elsa: You talk about me, instead of speaking for yourself and your girlfriend?
Thomas: (laughing) look what she brought in to discuss..
Therapist: You are talking about many things but also about a third person that comes in between you two.
Thomas: A third person, my ladies, what are we talking about now?… I should consider myself very fortunate and lucky that this person exists…she is a necessity of course …because it is a need…I have to live somehow..since my wife does not come to meet my sexual needs my needs for love..she does not respect me.
Elsa: Do you hear him? what he says? …what am I? Am I an animal…to sit there for his needs..how many times have I told you to stop this relationship….(in very angry voice)
Therapist: I wonder if this lover that you mention satisfies any other desires and needs you may have.
Thomas: What else…only sex
Therapist: What exactly is this woman..can you say something more?
Thomas: She is a woman that you can… she is there for me….I connect with her the time that I am with her we are together..emotionally she is there for me.
Therapist: You are talking about a woman who satisfies a need and this need seems to have a dual status; because you speak of a physical need but at the same time you speak of pleasure. It seems that with this woman you feel you unite emotionally, you are in balance with her..and when you have sex with her you feel she understands you. This seems not to happen with your wife. It seems that you are together in a sort of compulsive way.
Elsa: I agree. It’s exactly like that..he is asking me to be together to satisfy his sexual need. I cannot be with him this way. I need to be moved, I am there but I need something more to be moved.
As we were discussing with the couple we had in mind that they had not had sexual intercourse for a long time and we were very surprised when we heard that they had had sex 10 days before.
The husband is very upset.. he is shouting that there is no time for him.. he is too old, over 60, and he is very afraid of death, of loneliness. He says that he cannot stand her anymore..he shouts that he needs her to respect him, because he cannot stop remembering his mother and how much she neglected him..and she had not shown any interest in him. Therapist A urges him to start respecting himself, by making a decision which he has to stick to, because by having two women at the same time, he is not with either..He starts crying.. very loudly he cries out that he does not respect himself.. that he does not deserve anything..that he is the last of all. That his mother brought him up infested with this feeling. He is the last of all. His wife observes him in silence and then she starts crying as well. She gets up to leave the room because she does not want to see her husband cry. We keep her in the session. We ask her what it is that she cannot bear? And she answers that she cannot see him feel sad and watch him crying like a little child.
The atmosphere in the therapy room has changed. This is what M. Gerson (2009) describes as ‘the illuminated moment’. The two of them have joined together mentally.
Thomas: I cannot believe that my wife is crying for me, I cannot believe that she cares about me
Therapist: You have a big sadness inside you, and you feel you have no worth. And this sadness you try to hide with anger. You project this onto your wife, that she is the one that does not give you value. But the truth is that you do not give credit and value to yourself.
The husband is very confused, but is also in a psychic pain that he carries from his childhood. He is very angry with his wife whom he de-values; she doesn’t recognize how good he is. In order to manage all these painful feelings he performs a major split between the two therapists. He feels therapist A as the bad object like his wife, like his mother and therapist B like the good object. This splitting also has to do with his inner self since inside him there is the ideal self, his need to be perfect, and the realization that he is never enough as he always feels less in the end; the other side of the same coin is de-valuation of self and others. Why is everything he does never enough? All this anger and the fact that his efforts are not recognized, is something he cannot bear and thus projects it to others in the end. These others are his wife, his children, his therapist.
In later sessions, we further discussed the role of the third person in their families of origin. We talked about the other members in Elsa’s family of origin, the period that her parents divorced, her relationship with them, her stepfather, how she felt during her adolescence. Respectively we spoke about Thomas’ family of origin.
We used paradox as a technique to help them become intimate with each other. The instruction was to stop having sex and to start flirting; to meet at a favorite place they used to go to in the past, to spend the night at a hotel without having sex.
The husband tried to come closer to his wife as a father, bringing the problems of their children . He emphasized how well he managed all that. He did this to impress and gain the respect of his wife; he tried to make himself feel significant. But with this way he managed to impress the daughter and not his wife via the Oedipus complex.
Parental Roles and Triangles
From our discussion it soon became clear how the couple brought their son into their relationship. He became involved via triangulation. George had taken on the heavy burden of uniting and separating his parents.
Bowen elaborates upon the concept of “triangles” to further explain how couples (and family members) connect and interrelate. A triangle is a three-person relationship system. It is considered the building block or “molecule” of larger emotional systems because a triangle is the smallest stable relationship system. Kraemer adds: “regulating one’s place in a three person system is a basic human skill and lasts a lifetime” (Kraemer, 2009, pp 50). A two-person system is unstable because it tolerates little tension before involving a third person. A triangle can contain much more tension without involving another person because the tension can shift around three relationships. If the tension is too high for one triangle to contain, it spreads to a series of ‘interlocking’ triangles. This concept is especially useful with couples in trouble. For example, with the intention of deflating tension between parents, a child may intervene by presenting a problem; this becomes top priority for the parents, diverts them from their conflictual engagement and thus the child becomes ‘triangulated’ in their relationship (Byng-Hall, 2008).
In this couple, George was the regulator. By separating the mother from the father, George makes the father look useless and so the boy comes closer to his mother. He adjusted the distance between the parents. Separating them and then uniting them. The pathology in this interaction is that this is done through a symptom; intense aggression at school. In his relationships with peers, at home with his sisters, with his parents. From instances described, we observed exactly how this worked. When father came close to the son, then the mother become isolated. This is when the father instigated her. How? By provoking her (even by becoming physically abusive). This is when George came to her rescue, thus distancing him from his father.
In our meetings we witnessed many triangles. An important triangle was the mother-father-son. In one of our sessions, the father and mother got into an intense argument in their effort to get facts right regarding an incident in the past involving their son. They demanded that Therapist A took a stand and be the one to decide who is right and who is wrong. Therapist A gradually felt overwhelmed confused and frustrated and was at a loss for words. Therapist B, who up to that point had remained silent, caught her glimpse of despair. She wondered how George may feel in such instances. Did he feel angry? Confused? Pressured to choose between the two? This was an opportunity here-and-now to describe how the couple triangulated their son.
Thomas: She cannot bear this child. Have you seen how you talk to him? How you look at him? You have to love this kid. (Turns to the therapists) Do you know what she does at home? She is a watchdog. The boy asks if he can pierce his ear. So what? When you go against him that is when he will do it. What does my wife do? She is an expert at controlling and oppressing. She does this to me as well. She wants to control everything. She wants to check if I am a good father.
Elsa: You are a fool to say such things. I will not let a 15-year-old pierce his ear! Do not make me swear at you!
Thomas: But he will not do it my dear. He is just testing you. Relax and you will see he won’t do it. The worst thing that may happen is that he will eventually make the hole!
Elsa: Do you hear what he is saying?
Thomas: What am I saying? We are not the same. After all, I am the man of the house. I am the father, my opinion needs to be heard.
The mother does not seem to be listening. She does not give him space nor does she show confidence in the way that her husband acts in his parental role. On the other hand, the father does not seem to recognize the work this mother is doing at home and the pressure she might be under. We approached this with a paradoxical message: “When George intervenes in your arguments, you should thank him for regulating the distance between you once again!”
It is not yet clear what makes family therapy effective. As the first generation of family therapists who inaugurated the great streams of theory and therapy within the realms of family therapy (Minuchin, Palo Alto, Michael White, etc) are gradually retiring from the active foreground into the background of the therapeutic and theoretical scene, there question remains: “what makes family therapy work?” There is little consensus on the factors which construe effectiveness in therapy.
If we consider therapy as the encounter between persons, then it is vital to include the self of the therapist. Simon (2006) argues that the best therapy is the one closest to the therapist’s world view, i.e. when the underlying theory of the therapeutic model closely matches the therapist’s worldview.
We consider this view as an interesting incision in clinical practice especially when therapy involves two therapists. To abide by common conceptual factors within family therapy is sine qua non for establishing the interpersonal context. But this is not enough. The ‘Self’ of the therapist maximizes effectiveness. This becomes even more interesting – and challenging- when ‘self’ becomes ‘selves’. When two therapists work together as a therapeutic couple the synergistic effect is maximized. We work together using relational triangles, circular questioning, here-and-now interactions as our tools for investigating circular causality. But we also work a lot at molding our personal histories and theoretical backgrounds into one coherent narrative. Personal therapy and supervision have facilitated our self-awareness; the challenge here has been to accommodate our training from a systemic and psychoanalytic background into the therapy room. This has turned out to be an interesting feat and has led to interesting revelations on effectiveness.
Special thanks to Dr. D. Sakkas for sharing with us his wisdom and giving us his invaluable support.
Allen,J., Fonagy,P., Bateman, A. , 2008. Mentalizing in Clinical Practice. Arlington: APP.
Bertrando, P. & Arcelloni, T., 2009. Anger and boredom: unpleasant emotions in systemic therapy. In: C.Flaskas and D.Pocock, ed.2009. Systems and Psychoanalysis, Contemporary Integrations in Family Therapy. London: Karnac Books. Ch.5.
Bowlby, J., 1988. A secure base: Parent-child attachment and healthy human development. New York: Basic Books.
Byng-Hall, J., 2008. The crucial roles of attachment in family therapy. Journal of Family Therapy, 30, 129-146.
Dare, C., 1979. Psychoanalysis and systems in family therapy. Journal of Family Therapy, 1, 137–151.
Dare, C., 1988. Psychoanalysis and Family Systems Revisited: the Old, Old Story? Journal of Family Therapy, 20, 165–176.
Elkaim, M., 1997. If you love me don’t love me. London: Aronson
Flaskas, C., 2005. Psychoanalytic Ideas and Systemic Family Therapy: Revisiting the question ‘Why Bother?’. Australian and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy, 26,(3), pp125-134.
Foulkes, S. H., 1957. Group-analytic dynamics with specific reference to psychoanalytic concepts. International Journal of Group Psychotherapy, 7, 40-52.
Gerson, M.J., 2010. The Embedded Self. New York: Routledge.
Greenberg, L.S. and Paivio, S.C., 1997. Working With Emotions in Psychotherapy. NY: Guildford.
Jenkins, H., 2006. Inside out , or outside in: meeting with couples. Journal of Family Therapy, 28, 113-135.
Klein, M., 1957. Envy and Gratitude. London: Hogarth
Klein, M., 1975. Love, Guilt and reparation and other works 1921-1945 New York: S. Lawrence (New York)
Kraemer, S., 2009. Is there another word for it? Countertransference in family therapy. In: C.Flaskas and D.Pocock, ed.2009. Systems and Psychoanalysis, Contemporary Integrations in Family Therapy. London: Karnac Books. Ch.3.
Larner, G., 2009. Intersecting Levinas and Bion: the ethical container in psychoanalysis and family therapy. In: C.Flaskas and D.Pocock, ed.2009. Systems and Psychoanalysis, Contemporary Integrations in Family Therapy. London: Karnac Books. Ch.12.
Minuchin, S., 1974. Families and Family Therapy. Boston: Harvard Press.
Scharff, D.E. & Scharff, J.S., 1991. Object Relations Family Therapy. Northvale: Jason Aronson.
Scheinkman, M. & Fishbane, M.D. (2004). The Vulnerability Cycle: Working with Impasses in Couple Therapy. Family Process, 43, pp279-299.
Simon,G. M. , 2006. The Heart of the Matter: a Proposal for Placing the Self of the Therapist at the Center of Family Therapy Research and Training. Family Process, 45, pp331-344.
Schore, A.N., 2003. Affect dysregulation and disorders of the self. New York: W.W. Norton & Company.
Woodcock,J., 2009. Love and hate and the oedipal myth: the perfect bridge between the systemic and the psychoanalytic. In: C.Flaskas and D.Pocock, ed.2009. Systems and Psychoanalysis, Contemporary Integrations in Family Therapy. London: Karnac Books. Ch.3.
Watzlawick, P. et al. (1967). Pragmatics of human communication: a study of interactional patterns, pathologies and paradoxes. New York: Norton.
Watzlawick, P. and Weakland, J., 1977. The Interactional View. New York: Norton.


Here are some pictures of my friends.
Tabitha and some kid!!
my most bestest friend in the whole world!!!!!
i love ya
good times out side of school**movies** yea we really gotta hang out outside of school..
i wonder if ur in my closit right now haha ur the best love you!!
If any of my friends have their own web sites, I might include links to them here.
Brizzle loves James


Ladies: Any man can open a door, pay for a meal or tell any woman how much he likes her but a real man understands the importance of opening his heart to his lady, paying attention to her needs and proving everyday how much he loves her
Black Love Valentine’s Gif
1. Brown Sugar (2001)
Love is… Only expecting your partner to give to & do for you only what you are willing to give & do for them.


No one exists in isolation. Even on the loneliest of days, we are still interacting with many people. Relationships are an integral part of our existence and have both benefits and challenges. Your relationship with your parents, friends, teachers, classmates, employers, and others in your life can change over time. As you deal with the inevitable up's and downs, please know that your school counselor is available to meet with you. Additional resources are available for your reference on the right side of the page.


What A Healthy Relationship Looks Like
Love is kinda gross. I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I’ve got it figured out. I’ve been through my fair share of horrible relationships. I’ve come out of them with a lot of hurt, and a lot of problems. Trust issues, commitment issues, relationship anxiety, and just overall fear. But I also learned a lot. A lot about relationships, red flags and dealbreakers. The time I spent in a relationship I learned how to love someone else. Out of them, I learned how to love myself. However, I’ve recently come into a relationship that feels like a dream. I’ve learned to take nothing for granted and that everything happens for a reason. But who knows what will happen, I just thought I’d share what it’s been like for me. I mean, this blog is basically my online diary, right?
I just wanted to share the things that I’ve noticed in my relationship that has made everything so much easier.
- I know everyone says this, but COMMUNICATION IS KEY. I myself was not the best communicator in past relationships, whether that be due to the fact that my parter couldn’t communicate either, or just my own lack of communication. But it truly makes all the difference. Being able to say what you’re feeling without feeling judged or like “you’re bothering them”. If you feel like that then chances are they aren’t the one for you. Having a partner that listens to you is truly the best feeling in the world, and make sure you listen to them too.
- Don’t bottle things up. Be open with your partner and talk about everything that you are feeling. Which leads me to my next point…
- BE HONEST. Keeping secrets has never gotten anyone anywhere good. Always be truthful and authentic.
- Make time for them. Quality time is my love language and having a parter who shares the same is great. But more importantly, find their love language too. Just because yours might be quality time, doesn’t mean your partners is too. You could be loving them so much with your own love language, but they don’t need to spend a lot of time you. Instead they might value words of affirmation, so you simply could be loving them wrong. Be mindful of their love language too.
- Hold on to your friendships, and find someone who respects them. I love my friends and I value their friendships so much. That means girls nights twice a week, sometimes more and it’s so nice having someone who doesn’t make me feel like I need to chose them over my friends.
- Find someone who supports you no matter what. Someone who wants you to reach your goals and focus on your future. Someone who is just there to support you through any decision you might chose to make.
- Someone who makes you laugh. This one is pretty self explanatory.
- My mom once told me when I was going through a tough breakup that I needed to “find someone who makes your heart sing” and thats something I’ve kept with me since. So keep an eye out for the someone who makes your heart sing friends.
Ok I’m done being sappy. I’m really happy and being in a healthy relationship is kinda nice. That’s all.
Cover photo: https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/658510776765047220/


My son, you are such a blessing to me. Your presence brightens my day. Your smile makes my heart jump. Your silly faces make me laugh and remind me of daddy. Your personality is so amazing. You are SUCH a character. You are unbelievably smart. Today you came up to me and counted your pennies in Spanish, all the way up to 10! I had no clue you even know how to do that. :) I love our conversations, and the fact that you need to be sure I know what you are talking about. I love the way you tell me you love me, the way you want to compliment me (and others). I love the way you are HONEST. Like when I put on some "disguise" glasses, with a big nose and funny eyebrows, I asked you if I looked pretty. You started to automatically say yes, but then when you looked you said no. 'Yeea...NO! You not look pretty, you look scary Momma!' haha You crack me up. I love the way you want to cuddle and snuggle. And always want to give loves at any time. I honestly love that you can be so calm and just hang with Momma, in silence. Just chillin' and relaxin'. Because I believe you understand, that just being with me is enough. We dont have to be doing something fun or exciting. And yeah you are only 3, but you are completely awesome. You are such a blessing to me.
I thank God for bringing you in my life.
I love you sweet little cuddle bug.


Care For The Family Marriage Course
Marriage is one of the holiest of relations two people can have 2. Our aim is to promote strong family relationships and to.
How emotional ties between spouses change over the course of a marriage has long been a topic of inquiry in family science.
Care for the family marriage course. Care for the family is a registered charity and has been working to strengthen family life since 1988. A life course perspective draws attention to the importance of linked lives, or interdependence within relationships, across the life course (elder, johnson, & crosnoe, 2003).family members are linked in important ways through each stage of life, and these relationships are an important source of social. It explores family interaction, relationships and gender role.
This program is an advanced, terminal degree designed to. Five sessions to help engaged couples or those exploring marriage, build strong foundations for their future together. This course will provide students with a fundamental description of family forms and issues across the life course, guided by historic and contemporary perspectives.
Care for the family has over 80 staff across the uk. Over five sessions, the course covers: When two become one is an official marriage preparation course, designed for couples getting married in the catholic church in melbourne.
This course considers the dynamics of marriage and family relationships from a systems perspective. Our popular community courses look to help build strong family relationships and support families in time of difficulty. Our popular community courses look to help you build a strong and secure relationship with your child.
Family life course a sociological model of family that sees the progression of events as fluid rather than as occurring in strict stages family life cycle a set of predictable steps and patterns families experience over time family of orientation the family into which one is born family of procreation a family that is formed through marriage kinship This course dives deeper into life coaching issues while still maintaining a biblical perspective. History of care for the family;
Liberty university’s edd in community care and counseling marriage and family may be for you. Seven sessions, designed to help couples invest in their relationship and build a strong marriage. Communication, conflict, commitment, connection and adventure.
It explores family interaction, relationships and gender role. Marriage preparation programmes during this health emergency, an interactive marriage preparation programme will be delivered via video link by trained accord facilitators to couples preparing for the sacrament of marriage. The emphasis is on understanding family and other systems theories, the structure and function of marriage, various aspects of the marital relationship and family systems, and models of family and systemic interventions.
Sessions are facilitated by married couples, priests and educators working in the area of marriage and family. The final module requires the couple to meet in person with the priest or deacon from the parish of the bride. Care for the family marriage course.
This includes marriage and parenting courses, bereavement support, family breaks and faith in the family, as well as a wide range of resources in support of each of these core areas. Relationship support for every season. We want to meet you where you’re at in your relationship, whether you’re taking your very first steps or.
What to expect the sessions contain presentations from rob parsons and conversations with katharine hill who is joined by guests including nicky and sila lee, and broadcaster and author sheridan voysey. The site also provides guidance for those who wish to lead one of these courses.


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- Sparks Conversations
- Symbol of Identity
- Celebrates Diversity
- Supports LGBTQ+ Community
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Get ready with your Demiromantic Flag!
The demiromantic flag is a vibrant symbol of demiromantic identity, a romantic orientation characterized by the development of romantic attraction only after establishing a strong emotional connection with a person. This flag is a visual representation of pride and the diversity of the demiromantic experience.
🎨 Artistic Design: The demiromantic flag consists of three horizontal bands, with white symbolizing the absence of romantic attraction, black representing gradual connection, and green evoking full romantic attraction.
🏳 Quality Material: Made from high-quality polyester, the flag is durable and resistant. Suitable for indoor or outdoor use, allowing you to display your demiromantic pride wherever you go.
🧵 Professional Finish: Seams are carefully reinforced for longevity. The design is printed with weather-resistant inks, ensuring sharpness and vibrant colors.
🏠 Versatility of Use: Perfect for decorating your personal space, whether it's your room, office, or even your garden. Express yourself and create an inclusive environment that reflects your demiromantic identity.
Why Choose the Demiromantic Flag?
✨ Identity Affirmation: Display your demiromantic pride and contribute to the visibility of this unique romantic orientation.
🌍 Inclusivity: Encourage an inclusive environment by celebrating the diversity of romantic orientations.
🎁 Meaningful Gift: An ideal gift for friends, family, or anyone dear who identifies as demiromantic.
- 🌧 Weather Resistant: Yes
- 🧽 Easy to Maintain: Machine washable
- 📦 Packaging Included: 1 x Demiromantic Flag
Demiromanticism is a romantic orientation distinguished by how individuals feel and express their romantic attraction. Unlike traditional models of romance where romantic attraction can be felt from the outset of a meeting or based on superficial elements such as physical appearance, social status, or other external factors, demiromantic individuals need to establish a deep emotional connection before developing romantic feelings for someone.
The prefix "demi-" in demiromantic suggests a kind of threshold or limit to cross before romantic attraction fully manifests. This means that for demiromantic individuals, it's necessary to develop a strong emotional relationship, often built on trust, mutual understanding, and shared experiences before they feel romantic feelings toward another person.
For many demiromantic individuals, the notion of "love at first sight" or instant attraction may seem foreign or unfamiliar. Instead, they find that their romantic feelings emerge gradually as they get to know someone over a longer period of time. This process may involve forming a deep friendship that then evolves into a romantic connection, or building a relationship based on regular interactions and intense emotional exchanges.
It's important to understand that demiromanticism is an integral part of the diversity of human experiences in attraction and relationships. Just like other romantic and sexual orientations, it varies from person to person and cannot be reduced to a universal or fixed definition. Demiromantic individuals may also have different relationship experiences and expectations, just like anyone else.
For demiromantic individuals, seeking compatible partners can be a unique and sometimes complex process. They may feel frustrated or misunderstood in a world where fast-paced dating and fleeting relationships are often valued. However, a broader understanding and increasing acceptance of romantic and emotional diversities can help create a more inclusive environment where everyone feels free to express their needs and desires.
In conclusion, demiromanticism represents an important facet of human diversity in attraction and relationships. It highlights the complexity and richness of romantic and emotional experiences, while emphasizing the importance of deep emotional bonds in forming and developing meaningful relationships.


so did we ever stop kony
I feel so proud when friends tell me their parents like me. Like damn right they do, I am a delight.
cool date idea:
1. come over to my place with your dog
2. leave your dog
3. go home
i wonder how people describe me when they’re talking about me to someone who’s never met me


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Couples who use marijuana and meth together might initially find it to be exciting and pleasurable, but crystal meth use can lead to psychological problems such as paranoia, memory loss, violent behavior and mood swings over long periods of time. Medical problems like malnutrition and dental issues can result from continued use. Drug use among married couples has been linked to domestic violence. The relationship becomes more about finding and using drugs than actually enjoying each others company. The addicted relationship may only feel “normal” when both partners are under the influence of marijuana.
Many crystal meth-using couples also have a co-occurring mental illnesses; they meet criteria for other psychiatric disorders. The most common co-occurring illnesses among meth and marijuana users include depression and The impact of mental health issues combined with drug use can put greater stress on a relationship.
Couples who use marijuana and meth and decide to go to rehab together face additional challenges. Many addicted couples find that the relationship has become primarily associated with drugs, so simply seeing a partner can trigger a craving. Quitting meth or marijuana can cause users to feel irritable and moody, making it difficult to support each another through early recovery. However, many couples who use drugs including marijuana, and xanax together are able to recover and live a life free of drugs, despite the challenges.
5 Tips for Addiction Treatment Success
Sobriety can be a challenge for couples trying to quit meth or marijuana, but research has indicated that certain medication based approaches have brought good results. These protocols can be used by couples to help support abstinence, improve conflict resolution skills, communication, and increase relationship satisfaction.
1. Reward positive behaviors like abstinence.
This drug rehab skill comes from Behavioral Couples Therapy, which addresses specific behaviors that can put additional strain on a relationship. It is crucial for both partners to reward each other during times of sobriety.
- Couples should create a behavior contract between you that states a specific goal and a reward for achieving that goal, such as, “If we are both clean and sober for a month, we will reward ourselves with a lunch date.”
- Providing rewards for clean time can increase motivation and create a sense of enjoyment while attending substance abuse treatment for couples in a relationship.
Couples can experience greater stress when one partner relapses. The clean partner may experience cravings and emotions, including anger, anxiety and resentment.
- Shift the focus from relapses to times when your partner is successfully abstinent.
2. Create new routines as a couple.
This tip comes from Family Behavior Therapy which emphasizes the importance of avoiding people ,places and things and situations that have previously been associated with marijuana use. This may be especially difficult for couples who have used alcohol and drugs together. Sexual issues are confronted in counseling or with natural remedies including virectin, an herbal supplement for sexual health in your relationship.
3. Fight fair.
Conflicts and issues will inevitably arise as both addicted partners adjust to a life without meth. All family therapy sessions emphasize the importance of healthy communication skills. Discuss issues in a way that decreases your partner’s anger and allows both of you to tell your feelings and feel heard. Healthy conflict resolution and communication does not mean ignoring addiction related issues because you fear an argument.