How to improve your communication skills is a question not many people ask. Most people respond to texts while talking to someone else, talk over them, read their email while on the phone or finish the other’s sentences. If you find yourself in this group, then read on. This article is for you.
Why am I paying attention to communication after all the money articles? Because persuasion is the short track to success. And persuasion is just psychology plus communication.
Here are some ways to improve your communication skills instantly.
Show respect and appreciation for the other person. People will like to talk to you more if you respect them and what they are saying. Use the other person’s name. Respect their time.
Listen actively. Make sure the other person knows you are listening to them. Don’t just respond. Make sure the person speaking to you is the most important thing at that moment. When talking on the phone don’t send texts and emails simultaneously. The other person will know that you are not listening to them.
Ask questions and paraphrase your partner. Don’t just use fillers such as “uh” and “like”. Asking questions shows that you are paying attention and are interested in what the other person is saying. Repeat in your own words what someone just said before you comment yourself.
Make eye contact. If you look away or in the distance while talking to someone, this indicates a lack of interest. Making eye contact makes it easier to pay attention.
Pay attention to body language. Use open body language. Don’t cross your arms.
Get rid of conversation fillers. Don’t use words like “um”, “aha” and the like. Try to take a pause and relax before you speak.
Be brief, yet specific. If you are responding to an email, make sure to read the entire email before you write a reply. Take your time to edit your emails. A poorly written email indicates you don’t care about the other person and the subject at hand.
Put away devices. It’s very rude to bury your head in your phone while someone is talking to you. This one seems counterintuitive to most people. Forget about the phone.
Validate others’ thoughts and feelings. Acknowledge their emotions. Let them know that you accept their perspective.
Never talk over people. Refrain from finishing peoples’ sentences for them.
Watch your tone. Don’t use a combative tone. Use a calm tone.
Smile and have a positive attitude. Even when talking on the phone. The other person will feel your positive attitude.
Post in the comments how you communicate with others.


Haters gonna hate.
What do you call a woman with a penis?
So my best friend just told me she is in love with me? What do I do? Please help.
Well do you love him/her back or do you care about them enough to accept it and talk about it and continue being friends?
First day at school, Gaza, Palestine.


With Father’s Day a few months away, you still have plenty of time to think of the perfect gift for your dad that expresses your love and admiration for him. It’s an opportunity to give back and make him feel like the world’s greatest dad but alas, it can be hard to think of thoughtful gift. After all, how can you truly say thank you to such an important person in your life? Luckily, due to the beautiful nature of a father, they will love and value whatever you gift them. The price or worth isn’t what matters to them. If you’re stuck on ideas, we’ve put together a list of our favorite ideas for Father’s Day gifts for this year that work with every budget and every type of dad!


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admitted to my friend that I like him, he turned me down....thank god I didn't tell him how madly in love I am with him....
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People say no relationship problems will seem bland like soup without salt. Problems being faced by those who established the love isdifferent.
5 Thus the right solutions to face the problem of infidelity
Some are trivial, some are not be considered to play play like of infidelity. Infidelity should not you consider trivial. Infidelity is not the spice of romance. But of infidelity is the incident when your partner turned hearts to others.
Create comfortable: Cheating spouse can occur because of the convenience factor. If he is not comfortable with us he would choose to go from us and shared with others. So the first solution to face the problem of infidelity is made to feel comfortable when with you. when he is comfortable he would never cheat with someone else. After all, only a couple are already comfortable why another search. Calm
yourself down: Women basically have a very soft feeling nature. Sometimes when there is a problem romance'm guessing like of infidelity. Women will meluapkanya with tears and crying. When this you have to find a friend or a friend who is able to your hanger and also be a good listener your problem. Do not rush rush your decision to leave your spouse. pour all the problems you are facing the people you think you have the right to face problems solution solutions of infidelity.
Talking with a cool head: Well when your emotions are already down and rather quiet. You can ask your partner with a cool head and also with such a soft voice "Since when is he having an affair?", "How long has he had an affair", "So what do infidelity" and others.
At the time that you should ask as much as possible to control your emotions. Do not luapkan your emotions when asked. Because it will cause your partner does not want to admit the truth. Then talk with a cool head into the right solutions to face the problem of infidelity.
Asked the reason: Every action in the world of romance certainly constituted with a reason as well as of infidelity. Infidelity is done by a couple we also have a good reason. Could he possibly have often cheating or perhaps because he was not happy in a relationship with you.
You can ask him why he was having an affair. Then he will give you the reason, and it is also beneficial to you that you better improve itself again if he was not happy with you, even though it is not justified of infidelity in a relationship. Ask the right solution to face your partner infidelity problems.
Go or survive: Once you ask the reason to use a cool head, and after that your partner gives the reason. When it is you have to make a decision whether you should survive or prefer to go from him. You can ask your friends what to do.
It could be that your relationship will be warm after you deal with this of infidelity, because the of infidelity will make you aware of and regret, so that you will understand each other better.The decision is entirely in the hands of you. you prefer to go or survive.
Do not persist if of infidelity was already very far. At any events or problems in romance we have to take the best decision. The best decisions come into our conscience. 5 Thus the right solutions to face the problem of infidelity my version


Researchers found women were more likely to consider full-bearded men as more attractive for long-term relationships.
Investigators found that women are more likely to be attracted to stubbled men for short-term relationships, while full-bearded men are the preferred choice for long-term relationships.
Study co-author Barnaby Dixson, of the School of Psychology at The University of Queensland in Australia, and team publish their findings in the Journal of Evolutionary Biology.
What makes a man attractive to a woman is a question that has divided researchers for decades.
According to Dixson and colleagues, studies have shown that in the short term, men with more masculine facial features - such as a wider jawline and a more pronounced brow ridge - are considered more attractive.
In other studies, researchers have suggested that for long-term relationships, women prefer men with less masculine facial features, perceiving them to be more caring and considerate.
So where does facial hair fit in? While beards are generally considered a more masculine facial feature, results have been mixed as to how they influence women's mating preferences.
Some studies, for example, have suggested that men with facial hair are the preferred choice for long-term relationships over clean-shaven men, contradicting the view that women opt for more masculine men in the short term.
"Why such divergent effects occur between preferences for two sexually dimorphic traits remains unresolved," note the authors.
Judging the attractiveness of facial hair for relationships
For their study, Dixson and colleagues set out to further investigate how facial hair affects a man's attractiveness for short- and long-term relationships.
The researchers photographed 36 men at three stages of facial hair: clean shaven, light stubble (5 days of hair growth), heavy stubble (10 days of hair growth), and a full beard (at least 4 weeks of untrimmed hair growth).
Additionally, the photographs of 16 of these men with varying facial hair growth were manipulated to look either more masculine or feminine.
The researchers asked 8,520 women to view the normal and manipulated photographs and rate how attractive they thought each man was in general, as well as how attractive they were for short- and long-term relationships.
"The 'short-term attractiveness' condition asked participants to rate the men when imagining the type of person who would be attractive in a short-term relationship. This implies that the relationship may not last a long time," the authors explain.
"The 'long-term attractiveness' condition asked participants to imagine they were looking for the type of person who would be attractive in a long-term relationship. Examples of this type of relationship would include someone you may want to move in with, settle down and, at some point, wish to marry," they add.
Beards may 'mask' unattractive features of masculinity, femininity
In general, among men who were were clean shaven, masculine faces were considered least attractive, followed by feminine faces. Unmanipulated faces were rated as most attractive.
On assessing the effects of facial hair on women's judgment of attractiveness, the team found that men with light and heavy stubble were considered most attractive, compared with full-bearded and clean-shaven men.
When it came to relationships, however, the researchers found women rated full-bearded men as most attractive for long-term relationships, while light and heavy stubble were considered most attractive for short-term relationships.
According to the team, in manipulated photographs, heavy stubble and full beards reduced the effects of small changes in facial shape, and these may have influenced women's judgments of attractiveness by "masking" such changes.
"Thus, beards may mask the unattractive features of having overly feminine or masculine face shapes," say the authors.
Commenting on the overall indications of their study, the researchers say:
"Our findings suggest that beardedness may be attractive when judging long-term relationships as a signal of intrasexual formidability and the potential to provide direct benefits to females.
More generally, our results hint at a divergence of signalling function, which may result in a subtle trade-off in women's preferences, for two highly sexually dimorphic androgen-dependent facial traits."
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Anonymous asked: You're not a mistake and you're not naive. A person who is worth your love is going to look at those scars and see what a strong woman you are. You're scars are a story of the struggles you've faced and that is amazing. Also for some people it may be something relatable, a sign that they're not alone and that maybe you'll understand their struggles as well.
Anonymous asked: Anybody would be lucky to love a girl as amazing as you!
aww thats sweet…but no your wrong, i’m a mistake, naive, who wants a girl who is all depressed and has scars on her body….
Have you ever wanted to kiss someone really badly but you can’t and it makes you sad


Marriage isn’t always loving, kind, and honest. Sometimes it’s the things that we hide that say the most about who we are. David Fincher’s latest film dissects the modern marriage and explores just how difficult the arrangement can be.
We often like to put labels on things, it makes them mean something more and it lets us become complacent. A young couple falls in love, they find meaning with each other, and then they want to share that with the world. This leads to marriage, children, and a future together.


A small community focused on building authentic Christ-centered relationships through biblical-based study and action.
Community: A group of 6-12 individuals who develop deep relationships that allow them to fully experience the grade and movement of God in their lives. These authentic relationships include both supporting each other in prayer and speaking the truth in love as part of growing in accountability to each other.
Study: Group study is critical to our individual spiritual growth; just as Jesus’ disciples learned to become like Him by spending time with Him, we need to spend time with Him in biblical-based study.
Action: As we grow into an authentic loving community, we need to reflect this image of Christ to those beyond our small group.


How would you Approach a Woman For Marital life?
How do you procedure a woman designed for marriage? Do you think that you have to be someone your woman knows simply a little, something that she is selected to adore and marry?
Women are like girls’ lives. You are able to call it the want of love or the requirement for love. You are able to think about it as either what you really would like or while how you really want her to think about you.
The things you are really contemplating isn’t that important, nevertheless how you desire things to be or what you wish them to end up being. It isn’t essential just who you know or if you are that special. You might be a lot or not enough.
You could be a person she is always wanted to obtain, a beautiful person who believes she is gorgeous, but this lady never really realized what this girl had. Completely looking for someone to take the challenge of being the one to make her the star on the show. She would like to know that she gets what it takes to win a mate.
Your lady wants the vacation. She would like the challenge. Your woman wants a chance to go out right now there and find the man of her dreams. This girl wants a man who is up for anything.
Your sweetheart is not going to want to await for you to find this out. Your lover wants to manage to say yes. She is willing to take action and, most of all, your sweetheart wants to end up being herself.
The lady doesn’t treatment who you are, everything you look like, or the things you sound like. Your lady doesn’t care if you are taller or short, young https://alltopbrides.com or old. Your sweetheart doesn’t caution if you’re rich or poor. She just wants to always be the one. The woman knows that when you really drop to it, men think that way. The fear of damage and the appreciate of excitement and action, that just does not matter. All that matters is that she has a man that is going to proceed the distance and live with her.
She would like the thriller of having to develop a romantic relationship, knowing that it’s going to be considerably more than what it is now. She really wants to know just who he is, what his earlier is definitely, what his future contains, and your woman wants him to stay that way. He needs to be willing to modification.
She wishes to feel comfortable regarding who he can. She really wants to know that he’s smart, wise, and trusted. She really wants to know that your dog is a good dude, and not just somebody who could do not ever get away with anything. This individual should be somebody who can hold a candle to your woman, and features her respect.
If you want to recognise how to overcome a woman to get marriage, you should make sure that you aren’t getting her by using a glass roof. You need to take her from the place where your sweetheart can not just see the long term possibilities, but where she gets as though the woman knows you. This takes time and effort, but you do it mainly because you wish her. Not really because you are desperate to get her attention.


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David and Natalie are a nice couple from San Francisco, in love with Italy.
They came to our island for their wedding in Sardinia, in the heart of the Mediterranean Sea.
Natalie and David, were looking for a wedding photographer in Italy that could capture their magical moments and their emotions.
They decided to entrust me with the task of photographing such an important time in their lives.
These are some photos of this wonderful day!


Thursday, 6 August 2009
the tears that flow
After a night out I drove me and my friends to one of their houses and we went in to continue the night. They continued drinking and I was the only one who didn’t drink (being Muslim I’m not allowed), we went onto a conversation about abusive relationships, then these ladies, one Irish middle aged and the other English in her late twenties explained how they had previously been in abusive relationships (I have always found it hard to comprehend why women stay in these relationships).
Emotions got the best of them as they spoke of these relationships and you could still see the pain these women had suffered in their eyes and tears were flowing. I am a blunt person at times and I was telling them that I thought they were stupid to have stayed in these types of relationships. I told them I live by the motto once, shame on him, twice, shame on him, three times, shame on you. These were two strong independent women, who you could never picture staying in a relationship where men beat them, maybe these bad relationships was where they got their strength from.
They then began to explain how these men had control over them; how they made them feel wonderful, how they made them feel no one else would have them. How can a man have such control? I could never imagine doing this to a woman. They said one day they would be battered black and blue and would cover scars from their families and friends, worse for me was how they mentally felt trapped. I found it hard to comprehend, but these men had a hold over them mentally and abused them physically. The younger of the two also went onto say how her mother sided with her abusive partner, which for me was mad. The Irish ladies now partner was also there and he sat listening and like me could not comprehend why she stayed. They finally found the courage to leave to run away, but it got me thinking about how many women and men haven’t left their abusive partners for many reasons and how neither of these two men was ever punished for their sins. Also if these relationships have kids imagine the negative effects on them and their future relationships. I used to read about these relationships all the time but to actually hear women who I have known for many years and am close to tell these stories was different.


Monday, May 7, 2007
Ok I dont know where and how to start. 1st of all, I'm really sorry for miss X. If you read this, I hope you truely understand my problem. Some of our missunderstand you might have taken it as faith.
Miss X, is a wonderful girl that some of the guys might be attracted to her. Some said I'm lucky that she had a crush on me. Indeed I'm equally glad that I attracted her all a sudden. I too have the urge to get into couple. However I cant lie to myself. I dont feel the equal love that she feels towards me. What to do?
Some of the minor reason that I deny her kind offer is because, I lack of time and money to spend with you. Lame excuse huh (ignore it). Another is my family background that I dont wanna go in detail(too much). But the main point is, I cant find the love within you. It would be very unfair if a couple have unbalance love right?
Today, I told her how I felt but Miss X insisted " You Can't Stop Someone From Loving Someone, right?
" "Let Me Love You That Is Already Enough For Me
I was like scratching my head how to answer that. After a long talk, we end up no where. I dont want to waste her time to wait me love her or what so ever. My motive is to reject her kindly thus maintain our friendship.


Send a Pop-Up Valentine’s Day Card to Someone You Love
Valentine’s Day Pop up Cards Here’s an unexpected gift idea to give to someone you love. A Love Pop Card is filled with a great little message and pop-up inside of the card.
The 5 Days of Love Valentine’s Day pack includes five of the loveliest pop-up cards. From whimsical and cute to elegant and romantic, this pack has a card for every mood.
Tell the story of your love with a design a day during Valentine’s Day week or set up a fun scavenger hunt that leads to the romantic dinner you prepared. Pair your Lovepop with a sweet love note and make it a Valentine’s Day to remember. These are unique cards that everyone will love. They also have pop-up cards available for other occasions such as weddings, birthdays, holidays and other events.


Don’t let your emotions make your decisions
Often our feelings cause us to be emotional, leading us into an irrational decision. It’s not just women who are emotional! A man can feel like his wife doesn’t love him because he had an emotional experience when his wife rejected his attempt to cuddle with her. A woman can feel like no one cleans the house except her because she had an overwhelming emotion when her house was in disarray. If he or she develops this emotion with any form of repetition, then he or she may make a knee-jerk reaction deeply rooted in world view beliefs either about the other person, about all people, or possibly about themselves if self-doubt is present. Feelings lead to deeper emotions which lead to decisions. Let us be careful that our thoughts are rewired to align with how we desire to see ourselves and our world.


Who is dating raven symone
" -- revealing she's in a loving relationship with another woman.While the former "Cosby Show" actress' sexuality has been the subject of online speculation for some time now, the 28-year-old got candid about it for the first time."I will say I'm in an amazing, happy relationship with my partner, a woman," she told Oprah, as photos of her and her love flashed on the screen.The series was nominated in 20 for Emmy Awards for Outstanding Children's Programming.
You know, the one that went viral at the end of last year.It went on to be the first show in Disney Channel history to make the 100-episode mark.The show was so popular that it received a spin-off focusing on Cory. The series lasted for two seasons and had 34 episodes. Symone has been open about dating a woman, but previously told Oprah Winfrey that she doesn't want to be defined by her sexuality. I’m tired of being labeled," the former child star said on in October 2014."I’m in an amazing, happy relationship with my partner, a woman." PHOTOS: How star couples first met She added: "On the other side, my mother and people in my family, they’ve taught me to keep my personal life to myself as much as possible, but I am proud to be who I am and what I am." The former child star was mostly tight-lipped on the details of her romance with Livingston, but they did work on the same show.


Submitted By: suwysadmin on June 9, 2015
The mother and brother to this 18 years old lady don't enjoy the idea she went out with someone she met on myspace as that can be dangerous, well how bad can it be? Comment below
From falling in a basketball game to wedding, Guy proposes to his girl friend after he fell during a one on one game with her.
Submitted By: suwysadmin on May 17, 2015


Jun 18, 2013
Have you ever had a coworker that you felt was a bit of a bully? Maybe a flat out autocrat, or someone that makes you feel that, most of the time, he is just not cooperating. How do you deal with this?
This can happen when there is a mismatch between the collective and the individual interests of the parties. Then, each actor must decide whether they want to cooperate (seek the collective interest) or defect / compete (pursue their own interest).
Assume that you are buying a house. The collective interest is for the transaction to occur (the seller wants to sell, you want to buy). So a cooperative approach is for each party to make some reasonable concessions to allow the transaction to occur. But the parties' individual interests differ. If the seller adopts a competitive stance, he won't want to drop the price. If you, as a buyer, also adopt a competitive position, you might not want to pay the full price. As a result, the transaction might not happen.
Buying a house is a one-off transaction, but you could face a similar situation in long-term relationship. Assume you want to go to dinner with your spouse. She wants to go to a French restaurant. You (foolishly) prefer Italian food. Should you push to have it your way? How is that going to influence your long-term relationship?
In recurring negotiations, start nice then mirror
Axelrod and Hamilton offers a simple strategy: First, cooperate, then mirror—that is, imitate the other party's action. The key is to realize that you and the other party are communicating with one another through your actions. Starting nice (cooperating) sends the message that you are willing to make some accommodations. If the other party adopts a competitive strategy, then the next time you are in that situation, reciprocate. Carry on imitating their last move on each subsequent instance.
This creates a cooperative environment where the parties learn to search for an integrative agreement. In the words of Harvard professor Kathleen McGinn: "Never be the first to defect. If you start nice, you're signaling that it's appropriate."
And don't let the simplicity of this this tit-for-tat approach fool you: Introduced by Antol Rapoport in simulated negotiation tournaments in the 1980s, it has proved to be consistently superior to pretty much all other approaches (see Axelrod).
McGinn continues: "Nice might work: Cooperators create a good environment and a competitor in it will be short lived. So, if you can create a cooperation environment, being nice pays off."
Bazerman and Neale summarize the approach in four prescriptions:
Don't be envious. If they are the first to defect, they will have it their way one more time than you, accept this and move one
Don't be the first to defect.
Reciprocate both cooperation and defection.
Don't hide your game. Communicate unambiguously to your negotiation partner that you will reciprocate their action.
So if you are in a one-off situation—buying a house from someone whom you can safely assume you won't have a relationship with in the future—it might be preferable to adopt a competitive stance. But if your negotiation takes place with a recurring partner, you're better off to start nice and then mirror their action.
Unless your spouse wants to eat French food. French food is always the better answer.
Axelrod, R. M. (1984). The evolution of cooperation. New York, Basic books.
Axelrod, R. and W. D. Hamilton (1981). "The evolution of cooperation." Science 211(4489): 1390-1396.
Bazerman, M. H. and M. A. Neale (1992). Negotiating rationally. New York, The Free Press.Chevallier, A. (2016). Strategic Thinking in Complex Problem Solving. Oxford, UK, Oxford University Press, pp. 2002–221.
Image credit: Pixabay


Valentine’s day is all about showing the person that you love most that, well, you love them the most. And although you can go the traditional route and set up a candlelit dinner for the two of you, why not make this Valentine’s Day a little more special and get couple’s treatments from Toni Stockton at Stockton Dermatology.
So, your initial reaction to Botox may not be, “Wow! That’s romantic,” but it can be a fun thing to do together. If your significant other has been feeling less than sexy because their fine lines and wrinkles are getting them down, show them that you care and that you listen by scheduling a Botox session with Dr. Toni Stockton. And because Botox is popular amongst both men and women, you can both feel comfortable during the entire procedure.
Nothing is quite as rejuvenating for your skin as getting a joint microplaning facial from Dr. Toni Stockton. By using a combination of cleansing, exfoliating, nourishing, and hydrating, our microplaning facial will help you, and your significant other get that smooth, dewy glow that you have been wanting. Plus, during your microplaning facial, we will also use either a chemical or enzyme along with blading the skin which helps vitamins and minerals penetrate the skin better.
If you want to seal the deal with your significant other and go out with a bang this Valentine’s Day, consider getting lip fillers from Dr. Toni Stockton. Fillers work to almost instantly add volume to your lips— leaving you with fuller, sexier, kissable lips in the process— a win, win for both of you. And because fillers can be done on both men and women, why not do it together?


I hope I meet you in another life time
Thinking about times we would’ve fucked up the summertime
I love you even after death, I wish I met you, the real you, I need you
I don’t understand this life thing, I really wish I could rewrite this pain
It gets hard at night, thinking about if I speak to you one more time, what would I say?
Can I tell you I love you for one more day?
Took moments for granted, I know that, as these tears rush down my face, I have to live with that
The mere fact that ima die alone, I just hope I can rewrite this song
Rest in power to my loved ones, as we share another year
It’s killing me, my heart been missing for years now, I hope I get surgery before I break down
Emotionally scarred, hopefully I’ll recover
I’ll love you forever, like no other


Something about having a little girl that makes you want to just be better than you’ve ever been.
You make me want more for myself.
I am happy and content with being a stay at home mom but something about bringing her into this world just made me want to combat everything in life I’ve always wanted to do. I have this little girl who already looks up to me. She loves how I sing to her and I can’t even reach the correct note. She loves how I read to her how I do her hair everything you can think of she just loves.
I hope one day you’re proud of me
There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom. I’m proud of raising my tribe with all of me. I sacrificed a lot so I can be able to do more for them. And if she chooses to be a stay at home mom when she’s older I will be just as proud as if she decided to study law.
Give it all and then some.
I want her to be fearless
I want her to pick herself up every time she falls
I want her to always be kind in a world that isn’t so nice
I want her to love her self no matter how she looks
And I want her to be confident in all that she does
The sweetest doll
Isn’t it crazy how proud I am of you?
You make me want so much more out of life and I am forever grateful for you. I will lead you through life and guide you every step I can. I promise to hug you when you are sad. I promise to make you your favorite meals when you ask. I promise to love you when you feel you don’t know how. I promise to wipe your tears after your first heartbreak. I promise to always be there.
I love you, my little girl


We love our friends, our family, and our romantic partners. We love them in very different ways, though, so we might wonder what, if anything, makes all of them cases of the same thing, namely, love. What is it to love someone?
1. Desiring to care for and to be with someone
A natural thing to say is that to love someone is to desire to care for and to be with them.
However, desiring to care for and to be with someone doesn’t seem necessary for loving them. It’s possible to love a cranky grandfather or a smothering parent, even if you don’t want to be in their company, caring for them.
Desiring to care for and to be with someone doesn’t seem sufficient for loving them either. Suppose you witness someone getting injured in an accident. You might develop the desire to care for, and to be with, the injured stranger out of benevolence or moral duty. But this doesn’t mean you love the stranger.
2. Taking someone’s well-being as your own
Another idea is that to love someone is just to take their well-being as a part or an extension of your own well-being. On this view, loving someone involves finding no distinction between what is in your interest and what is in theirs—finding that to benefit them just is to benefit you, and to harm them just is to harm you.
An advantage of this account is that it helps us make sense of how we tend to speak about our loved ones. We often hear people say things like, “If you’re messing with someone I love, you’re messing with me!” and “When my beloved died, I lost a part of myself.”
Yet, it’s reasonable to wonder whether this account is taking literally what people mean to say metaphorically. Also, this view seems to eliminate the possibility of genuine self-sacrifice for our loved ones. How could we make sacrifices for our loved ones, if promoting their interests is just another way of promoting our own?
3. Being disposed to be affected by someone
A weaker, and perhaps more plausible, version of this idea is that to love someone is just to be disposed to be affected by changes in their well-being. On this view, the well-being of a loved one is distinct from, but can causally impact, your own: e.g., if you were to witness your loved one suffering, that would cause you to suffer.
However, most of us would feel bad if we were to witness complete strangers suffering, and we don’t love complete strangers. One might argue, in reply, that although we’d feel bad watching a stranger suffering, we wouldn’t feel bad enough for that to count as “love.” But this reply raises the question of how much suffering would be enough for love. Is there a good answer to this question? Perhaps not.
4. Valuing someone
Another proposal is that to love someone is just to value them a great deal.
But how so? Your boss might value you a great deal as an employee; this wouldn’t mean they love you. So, if this account is going to get off the ground, it has to tell us more about what makes love a distinct way of valuing someone.
4.1. Valuing someone for (certain) qualities
One might say that loving someone involves valuing them for displaying qualities from a more narrow list—a list that doesn’t include qualities like “being a great employee,” but that does include qualities like “being charming,” “being witty,” “being brave,” and so on.
Yet, this view has counterintuitive implications. It implies, e.g., that if you were to somehow come across a perfect clone of one of your loved ones, except slightly more charming, witty, and brave, then you would have a reason to switch your love to the clone. But this might be too fickle; it seems incompatible with the deep personal commitment we have with our loved ones.
4.2. Valuing someone as a person
Some believe that every person deserves to be loved simply because they’re a person. On this view, to love someone is to fully appreciate the value of their personhood. We should love everyone. We don’t do that because we’re psychologically limited: we can only appreciate so many people.
However, claiming to love someone “because they’re a person” sounds strained at best. Moreover, this proposal seems to conflate love with respect—we don’t have to love someone to appreciate their worth as a person; respecting them would suffice.
4.3. Valuing someone for being related to you
Another proposal is that loving someone involves valuing them for being related to you in some special way—for being, e.g., your mother, daughter, sister, friend, partner, etc.
But, if loving someone amounts to valuing them because they’re related to you in a special way, then it should be impossible to love someone who isn’t related to you in any special way. And yet, it does seem possible to love someone—someone who isn’t (and doesn’t want to be) your friend, relative, or romantic partner—unrequitedly.
4.4. Valuing someone by bestowing value onto them
Finally, one might argue that we don’t value our loved ones because we recognize some way in which they are valuable prior to our love for them. Rather, we value them because our love makes them valuable to us. In other words, the suggestion is that to love someone is just to bestow or project value onto them.
But, if our loved ones have value for us because we love them, then we can’t appeal to someone’s value to justify loving them. This means that the question, “Why am I worthy of love?” has no answer—some are uncomfortable with this implication. Nor can we appeal to the fact that someone’s a genocidal maniac as a justification for not loving them—and this seems obviously false.
If none of these views are satisfactory, that might be a reason to reject the assumption that there is something which all cases of love have in common. Perhaps love is undefinable. Lots of things are hard (or impossible) to define, and that doesn’t mean they aren’t real or important. So we’ll continue to love, even if we don’t know exactly what we are doing or how to define it.
 It is important to note two things about this essay. First, this essay is concerned with what it is to love someone, i.e., what it is to love a particular person. It may be interesting, however, to think about whether there is anything in common between the way we love people and the way we love things other than persons (e.g., sports teams, mementos, etc.).
Second, this essay is not concerned with whether love is a biological phenomenon, a socially constructed phenomenon, or some sort of mixture of both. For readers interested in that question, see Jenkins (2017).
 Several contemporary philosophers subscribe to some version of this view. E.g., Gabriele Taylor writes, “ if x loves y then x wants to benefit and be with y” (1976: 157). Alan Soble argues that “a common feature” of cases where some person x loves some other person y is that “x desires for y that which is good for y, x desires this for y’s own sake, and x pursues y’s good for y’s benefit and not for x’s” (1997: 67). Harry Frankfurt also defends the claim that, “loving something … is not merely a matter of liking it a great deal or of finding it deeply satisfying” but is rather a species of “disinterested concern for the well-being or flourishing of a beloved object.” (1998, chs. 11 and 14).
 Velleman (1999: 353). See also Matthes (2016) for a fascinating discussion about loving people in spite of their character defects.
 Helm (2009). It may be interesting to think about whether it is possible to avoid this objection by specifying the way in which one desires to care for and be with loved ones. A promising suggestion along these lines comes from Sophie Grace Chappell, who argues that love is distinct from impartial forms of benevolence because, unlike mere benevolence, love entails the desire to make a first-personal contribution to a person’s well-being. “Loving someone,” she writes, “means wanting to be constitutively involved in his well-being: it means wanting to be, myself, part of what makes life go well for him. … To straightforward benevolence towards X, it cannot matter whether it is me who brings about X’s well-being. The concern is merely that someone should. To love, by contrast, it typically does matter that it should be me” (2014: 86; her italics).
 Robert Solomon writes, “It is often said that to love is to give in to another person’s needs, indeed, to make them more important than one’s own. But to love is rather to take the other’s desires and needs as one’s own. This is much more than a merely grammatical point. It is a redefinition of the self itself, as a shared self” (1981: 150; his italics). Along similar lines, Roger Scruton argues that two people love each other “just so soon as reciprocity becomes community: that is, just so soon as all distinction between my interests and your interests is overcome” (2006: 230).
Many major figures in the history of philosophy have, at one point or another, suggested that to love someone is just to foster (or to desire to foster) a significant kind of union with them. One way of cashing out this “significant kind of union” is in terms of treating one’s well-being and the well-being of the loved one as two parts of the same whole, of a single unity. It is important to note, however, that philosophers have cashed out this “significant kind of union” in a variety of other ways. See, e.g, Plato’s Aristophanes (Symposium: 189c-193e), Aristotle (Nicomachean Ethics: IX, 9, 1170b1), Augustine (Confessions: IV, 6), and Montaigne (Essays: I, 28). Contemporary proponents of the union account of love include: Nozick (1989, ch. 8), Solomon (1981) and (1994), Delaney (1996), Baxter (2005), Scruton (2006, ch. 8), Westlund (2008), and Gilbert (2013, ch. 11).
 Several philosophers have noted that, if we take reports like “I lost a part of myself when my beloved died” and “If you’re messing with them, then you’re messing with me!” to be literally true, then we run the risk of suggesting, implausibly, that you and your loved ones are one and the same person. Also, we would risk putting love in direct tension with individual autonomy. If there is no distinction between your interests and those of your loved one’s, then whenever you make a decision about your interests, you’re also making a decision about their interests for them. Many philosophers find this result morally unpalatable. For further discussion, see Lugones (1987), Singer (1994, ch. 6), Soble (1997), Friedman (1998), and Whiting (2016: 46-8).
 Soble (1997: 86).
 Robert Nozick has gestured towards this view. He writes that, “What is common to all love is this: Your own well-being is tied up with that of someone (or something) you love. When a bad thing happens to a friend, it happens to her and you feel sad for her; when something good happens, you feel happy for her” (1989: 68). It is worth noting, however, that Nozick at times seems sympathetic to the account described in section 2 of this essay. He goes on to say, for example, that “When something bad happens to one you love, […] something bad also happens to you” (1989: 68; his italics).
 It may be interesting to think about whether it is possible to determine which qualities belong to this restricted set, and which ones do not, without being arbitrary. Simon Keller attempts to accomplish this in his article, “How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Properties” (2000: 165-166).
 See Grau (2004) for an excellent discussion about the relationship between loving someone and finding them irreplaceable. Grau plausibly cashes out the irreplaceability of our loved ones in terms of their historical properties.
Some might say that to love someone is just to value them for their historical properties—e.g., for being the person with whom you went on a date in October 2016. The trouble with that proposal is that the historical properties of our loved ones don’t seem to be valuable prior to our love for them, in the way the property of “being brave” is. It seems, rather, that the historical properties of our loved ones are valuable for us because we love these people. If that’s true, then this proposal is susceptible to the same objections raised against bestowal accounts of love, discussed in section 4.4 of this essay.
 David Velleman, e.g., argues that when we love someone, “we are responding to the value that he possesses by virtue of being a person or, as Kant would say, an instance of rational nature” (1999: 365).
 Kolodny (2003: 173-79); Millgram (2004); Bagley (2015: 483-86).
 Velleman accepts that love and respect are both responses to the same thing, namely, someone’s value as a person. He distinguishes love from respect in terms of their effects. According to him, respect prevents us from being self-interested, while love prevents us from being emotionally defensive—that is, loving someone makes us vulnerable to experiencing emotions we wouldn’t experience towards strangers (1999: 360-61).
However, if this is the only difference between love and respect, then love would lose much of its explanatory power. To illustrate the point, imagine one of your loved ones has just lost a race. Presumably, you would feel sad or disappointed. Are there good reasons for you to have that emotional response towards your loved one but not towards some stranger who has also lost the race? The intuitive answer is that what warrants that emotional response towards your loved one (but not the stranger) is precisely the fact that you love her (and not the stranger). But, as Bennett Helm rightly notes, “this answer is unavailable to Velleman, because he thinks that what makes my response to your dignity [as a person] be that of love rather than respect is precisely that I feel such emotions, and to appeal to my love in explaining the warrant of these emotions therefore would be viciously circular” (2010: 27).
 Niko Kolodny, e.g., argues that “love consists (a) in seeing a relationship in which one is involved as a reason for valuing both one’s relationship and the person with whom one has that relationship, and (b) in valuing that relationship and person accordingly” (2003: 150).
 Stump (2006: 26-7).
 In most cases, when you love someone unrequitedly, they are acquainted with you. Thus, one might suggest that, in such cases, it’s possible to value your loved one for being your acquaintance. See Protasi (2016) for an excellent discussion, and critique, of this sort of response.
 Irving Singer, e.g., writes, “In loving persons, … people bestow value upon one another over and above their individual or objective value” (1984: 6). “Insofar as love is bestowal,” he argues, “it creates a kind of value in the beloved that goes beyond appraisal. In loving another, in attending to and delighting in that person, we make him or her valuable in a way that would not otherwise exist” (1994: 2; his italics). Harry Frankfurt, along similar lines, has claimed that, “what we love necessarily acquires value for us because we love it. (2006: 39; his italics).
 See Keller (2000).
 Many proponents of the bestowal account of love are willing to accept that love isn’t something that can (or need to) be justified. See, for instance, Singer (1984), Frankfurt (2006: 39-40), or Smuts (2015: 101-3).
 Ronald de Sousa explicitly defends this view. In “Love Undigitized”, he writes, “Particular loves link particular persons. There is no essence of love” (1997).
 See Helm (2010), Bagley (2015), and Protasi (2016), Pismenny and Prinz (2017), and Yao (2020) for some promising alternative accounts of love.
(Im)partiality by Shane Gronholz
Virtue Ethics by David Merry
Happiness by Kiki Berk
Hope by Michael Milone & Katie Stockdale
Sexual Orientation, Sex, and Gender by Raja Halwani
I would like to thank Taylor Cyr, Nikki Ernst, Dan Lowe, Nathan Nobis, Sara Protasi, Parker Rose, Lemuel Tang, Travis Timmerman, and Vida Yao for their kind and attentive comments on earlier versions of this essay.
Download this essay in PDF.
About the Author
Felipe Pereira is a PhD student at the University of Pittsburgh. His current research interests are in ethics and moral psychology. He is co-author of “The (Un)desirability of Immortality” in Philosophy Compass and “Non-Repeatable Hedonism Is False” in Ergo, both written with Travis Timmerman. He is also the author of “Is Immortality Desirable?” in 1,000-Word Philosophy. felipe-pereira.weebly.com/


Dear God, I'm totally feeling grateful for the very, very, very beautiful people You have sent to me. I really can't ask for more. I'm happy to have them in my life. That by destiny, or sowhatever we call it, these people have made history... with me.
and some of them =
my cool pareeents (with those ups & downs with them, really make me realize how I actually love them. Sorry for my teen hormones, dad & mom!)
my super best girl friends!
waktu ngasih nyokap surprise kado ulang tahun ;)
I don't forget my old friends, I keep them as my beautiful memories. You know, those crushes, boyfriend things, enemies, fighting, and other things. I know people change, feelings change, we all change, but past is thing my heart captured, that even though people change, I know that for at least one time in their life, they were there with me, sharing a lil bit of their life time with mine. Really, thank you for you guys :)


I met several people last week to review their Emotional Intelligence assessments. In my one-on-one meetings with them I like to ask questions about their lives and the events that have contributed to where they are today. One kind man I met is dealing with a grown daughter who has just come back home to live with them, along with his 13-year old granddaughter. His daughter is going through a divorce and she has lost custody of her two sons. The man explained to me that part of the reason for her divorce is related to her depression and her depression is related to the death of her first husband and two sons in a house fire years earlier, her daughter is her sole surviving child from that marriage. He said she remarried and had 2 more sons immediately and never fully mourned the loss of her first family. The whole thing was, naturally, taking quite a toll on him.
Another man I met said that on Mother's Day this year, he was home with his wife and kids and had a major heart attack. He collapsed and his wife gave him CPR while the children watched until help arrived. As he said, "She worked on me for 10 minutes until the ambulance arrived. She brought me back."
Meeting these men reminded me to not be so judgmental and have more respect for others. Everyone has a story, some can be incredibly moving and tragic. We all walk around with our own story of how we got where we are. If you have trouble connecting with someone else, ask about their story. It may give you some incredible insight.


"I feel disappointed when you say you'll call and then you don't." "I get all excited to see you and then I get let down." Avoid blaming or psychoanalyzing. Just put your emotions out there. 3. Know that your partner's behavior is not about you.
Make sure you're not going too fast or too slow. 4. "There's only one thing I want to change about you, and that's your last name.". This line would work well after complimenting her. You can opt to say a pick-up line before this, but it might be best to actually say a sincere compliment. 5. Best way to respond when a guy asks you out? I'm very confused because there seems to be 2 schools of thought on this issue of how a girl should react: 1) Just straight out say yes, no mind games.
If you've been out having a dinner date, seeing some entertainment or talking all evening, fatigue can set in. But if you invite a man in and he refuses, the chances are very good he's not feeling the strong tug of chemistry. ... When a man asks about your weekend and you say, "I just sat around the house," all kinds of warning bells go. It should not be left to the person who was asked to go on a date to choose the restaurant. Small details go a long way. Even if you don't pay for dinner on the first date, there are always ways. She said, "Maybe this was the closure my silly crush needed and I thank him for canceling on me twice which actually helped me move on!". A canceled date can turn out to be a way to dodge the bullet, provided you can spot and acknowledge the red flags. 4. When a guy cancels a date and doesn't reschedule.
Steer clear (way clear). 7.) He doesn't tell anyone about you. (Read: No one knows he has a girlfriend - YOU) If he doesn't introduce you to his friends or ask you to hang out with them once in a while, go to a party or get together with them - that's a sure sign that he's not sure about the whole thing.
He will take initiative on making plans with you. No matter how busy a man is, if he really wants to see you, he will make time for you. No excuses, lies, or broken promises. If he is into you, he won't be putting off making plans. In fact, he will be taking the initiative to make suggestions and set dates. See it as a red flag if he is.
17. His eyes light up around you. Men who are into women will have a special sparkle in their eyes. " Our pupils tend to dilate when we are observing someone we feel affection for—so in this.
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29. I really want to go on a date with you, but I'm really scared about how you'll respond. 30. I'm taking you out tonight.You don't get to say no. 31. It's date night!Don't stand me up. 32. I can read your mind, and yes, I'll go out with you. 33. I don't normally make the first move, but there's no way I'm letting you get away.
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Let's hang out and grab dinner! Let's see a movie and hang out. You know, I ask my little cousin if he wants to hang out with me — I don't ask a girl that I'm interested in and want to impress.
Smile and tell him you’d love to go on a date. 2. Give him a straight answer. It can be tempting to play hard-to-get when a guy asks you on a date, but you should try not to.  If he had the courage to ask you out, you should.
He introduces you to his family. If a man is truly into you, he will want to show you off to everyone he knows, including his family. He will bring you to family functions and introduce you to .... "/> farmington nm traffic cameras.
By sitting with his legs wide open, he's really showing that he's open and available to you. Another sign a man is into you can be found in the way he moves his body when he's around you. If his movements and hand gestures seem to be more overstated and exaggerated, this can be a sign he likes you. Specifically, by drawing attention to himself.
Asking someone out may feel like it's beyond your comfort zone, and that's OK, you have to get on board.) 1. We've Been Talking, So Let's Just Do This. OK, I'm starting with something extra-bold.
Some reasons why a man could decide to ask you out are as follows: 1. The causal asking style, which indicates that he is interested but does not want to be kept waiting for an indefinite period of time. He only want to inquire as to whether or not it is worth his time to pursue the matter further. Contents [ hide] 1 What to say when a guy asks.
It gives him a sense that you're in this together. "Take my advice ( smile, wink) because I want what's best for you. Ask me out to dinner.". If you are having yet another great conversation about music or food, just throw it out there. "Well, you should take me some time.".
2) Tailor Your Phrasing To Him. When you ask a guy out over text, try to make it as personal as possible. Text can feel distant and impersonal, so you want to make sure that you craft a message that is as unique to your guy as possible; otherwise, it can feel like a canned response you sent out at random.
I'll tell you more about him in a second. For now, allow me to say that the third good sign is: He will follow up promptly. I think this is the single best indicator — even if he didn't talk.
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