How do I tell my friend that I dont want to hear about her affair?
DEAR DEIDRE: ONE of my oldest friends is having an affair and Im feeling increasingly uncomfortable with the intimate details she shares with me. We have known each other for over 20 years and work for a big insurance broker. 1 Five years ago she started to tell me how hot this colleague was in bed  She is 53 and Im 51. Our husbands get on well and weve always gone out as a foursome. Ten years ago, I discovered she was having an affair with another colleague but I decided it was none of my business so we carried on as before. But around five years ago she started to tell me how hot this colleague was in bed, divulging very intimate details. She also admitted her husband didnt satisfy her sexually, which has made it even more awkward. For more advice from Dear Deidre No issue is too small, too large or too embarrassing. Read our personal replies here. Dear Deidre on Sex  Dear Deidre on Relationships  Dear Deidre on Marriage  Dear Deidre on Family  Dear Deidre on Parenting  Dear Deidre on Grief  But Im really struggling now as my husband has been diagnosed with an aggressive skin cancer. I dont want to hear about her infidelity when I might lose my husband, who I love very much. DEIDRE SAYS: I am sure your friends affair is the last thing you want to hear about right now. You can calmly let your friend know you are finding it hard dealing with your husbands illness and are scared of losing him. If she starts talking about her affair, quickly change the subject or even walk away uninterested. She will soon get the message, and hopefully understand. NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE My son won't tell the police he's lost his friend's drug money