Did Ben Higgins & His Fiancee Break up Due to His Recent Breakdown?
During an appearance on Trista Sutters Better, Etc. podcast, former Bachelor star Ben Higgins revealed that hes been having a tough time lately. He told Sutter that he actually went back to his home state of Indiana to try to figure his life out after have a breakdown.  I am back in Indiana right now because of a breakdown, again, in my life where Im going, I dont know whats happening. I dont know what this next season of life looks like for me. Im farther and farther removed from the show and then, at the same time, I need to figure out what my lifes gonna look like and what my legacy is going to be, Higgins said. Although Higgins, 32, is having a really hard time figuring things in his life out at the moment, his relationship with Jessica Clarke isnt the reason, and the two are still planning to wed in the fall, according to People magazine. Im getting married  and Im so excited to get married, Higgins told Sutter. Higgins, however, admits that he feels like an outsider. Heres what you need to know:  Higgins Relationship With Clarke Remains a Positive in His Life  The one thing that Higgins has going for him that is positive is his relationship with Clarke. The two became engaged in March 2020, and have been planning a 2021 wedding ever since. I was super nervous. Shes my best friend, my partner and I love her. I was nervous to kind of do this whole thing in front of her. I wasnt anxious, its just a big moment, he told Entertainment Tonight after the proposal. Things still seem to be going well for Higgins and Clarke, as evidenced by his Instagram account. As wedding planning speeds up and the details come together (more updates on wedding planning soon) I just wanted to give us all a chance to admire my beautiful future bride! Lucky me, Higgins captioned a photo of himself and Clarke on June 25. I have prayed for you for as long as I can remember. Jessica for all of our years ahead I will continue to remind myself of how lucky I am. It will not be hard to do because just by being you you remind me of it daily. I am forever grateful for you, my partner for life. I am thankful for the many more laughs, the many more eye rolls, the many more tough conversations, and the many more steps forward we will take to become stronger, wiser, more loving of each other, others, and Jesus, Higgins captioned a photo in honor of Clarkes birthday. Higgins Admitted That Hes in a Low Place & Is Unsure About His Future  Higgins has been doing his best to try to figure out what he wants out of life, but it hasnt been easy. Its a really exciting season. The seasons are unfamiliar to me, but its also really hard because Im at a low place. I dont see myself as this thriving figure right now. Im kind of lamenting and separating myself from a lot of things that Ive held close, Higgins told Sutter. This is something that Higgins has been struggling with for quite some time. In fact, he spoke with Us Weekly about his feelings of despair back in February. Not a lot of people know it in my own life, like, a lot of people dont know that side [of me]. Because its not something you go around and parade around when youre in it. Its not something you talk about often, but [its] healing in a lot of ways to write it and to know whats out there, he said at the time. Higgins spoke openly about his time on reality television  and its aftermath. Higgins told Sutter that being on The Bachelor may very well have been the best thing that ever happened to him, but he admits hes struggling to figure out who he is  what his purpose is  now that the show is in his rearview. I dont know how to make it my purpose now. I dont know what to do with it anymore. Its not really a piece of me anymore. I can talk about it, I can share my experience about it but ultimately, I was just telling Jess this the other day, I was like, I feel like my only role in the Bachelor now is to be there for the contestants that want me to be there for them, Higgins told Sutter. He also said that he was envious of people coming off the show and having a place in the world, however, he said that he feels like he should warn those people that this season wont last forever. And thats basically where he is at this point. Higgins shared that he doesnt know where he fits within the franchise, but, moreover, he doesnt think he wants his legacy to be solely related to The Bachelor.  READ NEXT: ABC Releases Never-Before-Seen Photos of Katie Thurston & Blake Moynes