Why Are So Many Men Afraid of Going to the Doctor?
The internet has lots of anecdotes about men who dont  or at one crucial juncture, didnt  go see the doctor. Some are somewhat amusing, like a father who habitually asks his daughter if he can borrow her antibiotics. But most are terribly sad, like a friend mourning his mid-50s tennis partner, who had long complained about a mysterious back pain, only to eventually discover that he had Stage 4 colon cancer. His friend wrote on Twitter: [It] had spread into his ribs, head, everywhere. He died very quickly.  These stories, unfortunately, are all too common. According to a recent survey by the Cleveland Clinic, physician-dodging is a disturbing status quo for men between the ages of 35 and 54. Only 43% of that middle-aged cohort reported seeing their doctors for annual physicals. That percentage increases as men get older  when serious illnesses pretty much compel them to see a professional  but even then, its treated as a last resort, and many of the patients arent on their best behavior. In the study, 65% of respondents said they avoid going to the doctor as long as possible. When they do go, over a quarter of them customarily withhold information from their doctors. Some even admitted to years of lying to their doctors, in fear of hearing a dreaded diagnosis. While silly on the surface, one final statistic might offer the clearest insight into the psyche of men desperate to avoid scheduling a doctors appointment. A reported 72% of men would rather do household chores (like clean the bathroom) than visit a physician. Sitcom-dad wisecracks aside, that premise is a useful framing device: an overwhelming majority of men in this country have come to perceive doctor visits as an avoid-at-all-costs chore. Women are overwhelmingly more proactive when it comes to monitoring their healthcare. Thomas Barwick/Getty Images  Based on 2019 data, men work slightly more than women  about five hours more per week. But that incremental difference aside, claims from men that they are too busy to take care of themselves are met with incredulity by medical professionals. Dr. Amy Revene M.B.B.S, a general practitioner based in Dubai, says that the vague reasons men list for skipping annual physicals obscure deeper psychological issues. When researchers probed a little deeper into this alarming tendency, she tells InsideHook, they noticed a few common trends. Namely: men are uncomfortable with exams, fearful of a diagnosis, and struggle to shed their macho attitudes.  This sentiment is shared by other experts in the field. Dr. David Samadi  one of the leading prostate surgeons in America, and author of The Ultimate MANual  says its all in mens heads. Its purely psychological. Men simply put their health last on their to-do list. They feel squeamish about routine yet important healthcare screenings such as prostate or rectal exams; they just dont think about the health risks of neglecting appointments; they feel that if they can keep working and being productive, then theyre good with that.  Men stay far away from offices, clinics, and hospitals, doctors reckon, thanks to a potent cocktail of toxic masculinity and unacknowledged vulnerability. On one hand, men are simply interpolating imperatives theyve heard all their lives, from fathers, older brothers, coaches, bosses: Dont cry. Rub some dirt on it. Shake it off. Youll be fine. Man up. Theyre playacting at a psychological phenomenon known as superhero syndrome  if Im fine, everyone else is fine. So I better be fucking fine. When it comes to this point, as family physician Dr. Waqas Ahmad illustrates with a quip, men often take it way too far: Women go to the doctor when theyre supposed to. Men go to the doctor when their arm has almost completely severed from their body and they can no longer put on enough band-aids (or electrical tape) to keep it attached; then, they say with a heavy sigh, Fine, Ill go to the doctor if you will quit nagging me about it. Just not without stopping for a beer on the way.  Its self-reliance and stoicism taken to a dangerous extreme, and ultimately, its a performance. Because men are actually terrified. At a certain age, they are all well-aware that they arent invincible. Compare it to the stubbornness of an out-of-towner who refuses to ask for directions, or a wobbly-kneed grandparent who always has to shovel his own sidewalk. Underlying this approach is a colossal fear of inadequacy, of replaceability. Observing normal consultation rates, let alone the process itself (you know, not lying to doctors), would mean acknowledging a weakness, and likely receiving some sort of diagnosis. And in the minds of many an aging patriarch, a diagnosis is unacceptable. That said, its perhaps a misnomer to label this a middle-aged issue. The routine itself is assimilated at a much younger age. Too many young men have a sense of immortality, says Posterity Health founder Dr. Barrett E. Cowan, who has spent 20 years treating male fertility. They feel that they dont need medical care. This fosters a self-defeating loop wherein one mans self-assuredness can negatively affect not just his own life, but the lives of those he loves. In my practice, for instance, most men are not even aware of the fact that when a couple has difficulty conceiving, 50% of the time it is due to the presence of a male factor; but by proactively treating the male, we can increase a couples chances of having a child.  Making time for an annual physical (or really every six months) means more time doing cool shit with your kids. Justin Paget/Getty Images  Now, there are some biological realities and societal norms that influence a mans reluctance to visit the doctors office. Unlike women, men can go literal years early in life (as teenagers into 20-somethings) without heading in for annual physicals. That doesnt mean they dont have to  just that they have the dubious privilege of throwing their bodies on auto-pilot and then finally taking the wheel back at the brink of fatherhood. Women live a markedly different situation, as Dr. David Beatty, a 30-year GP explains: Young women attend the doctor for contraceptive purposes. This gets them used to using the service. They know how the appointment system works, they get to know the receptionists, the nurses, the doctors.  Many women come back for regular checks during pregnancy. They analyze their contraceptive options again after the baby is born. They visit the doctor for the babys immunizations and checks. Theyre more likely to bring in the children for annual checkups or examinations of various injuries and ailments. This breeds an intimacy with the literal space itself, and more importantly, the process  to trust the healthcare system, one needs to experience it. This is a point doctors home in on time and time again: women are proactive patients. Long before they turn 40, women are used to disclosing information about their bodies, assessing their options and making decisions. The reliance is there, and they literally live longer for it. Its true. In the United States, the life expectancy gap between men and women is an astonishing five years. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, the average American man will live to age 76, while the average woman in America will live to age 81. There are some ridiculous reasons for this discrepancy  for example, men are more likely to perish in motorcycle accidents or gun fights. They also have a lot of trouble giving up on red meat. But an overarching theme is the willingness of women to find out exactly whats going on in their bodies, and plot a course of action to mitigate the risks. Those risks are real, but theyre not insurmountable. Urologist Dr. Lamia Gabal says, Things like prostate cancer, colon cancer, hypertension and diabetes can be screened for a while in the early stages, and are still treatable or curable. Its important for all men to have the following three doctors: a primary care physician, an internist and a urologist.  but theyre all necessary. Important health parameters such as these are often silent with no symptoms and will only worsen if not diagnosed and then properly managed.  Its understandable, in a way: young guys feel untouchable, older guys are set in their ways. Neither wants to hear that they shouldnt be drinking or smoking or eating cheeseburgers every Saturday. But the dialogue needs to happen nonetheless. A workmans metaphor never hurts. Youre the general contractor and youre building a house, Dr. Jerry Bailey, a functional medicine physician says. But you need the drywall guys, the plumbers, electricians, HVAC, tilers, framing, roofing. Youre managing everything, but you need the entire team in order to build the dream home.  Hes right  it takes a village (one that definitely includes a doctors office) to get a man to 80 years of age. At the end of the day, this conversation shouldnt be an admonishment. It should be encouragement. A call to arms. The purest, most sincere form of a mans reluctance to see the doctor is an honest desire to not trouble or worry those around him. Weve long viewed that sense of privacy and restraint as noble, even heroic. But its time to shift the narrative. Real heroism is living longer. Its about putting less of an emotional (and financial) burden on your family. Its facing vulnerabilities  and lifes inevitable realities  head on. And when its all tallied up, it means more time spent goofing around with your kid, or playing tennis with an old friend.