Why the Hell Is Everyone Watching Mothers Day on Netflix?
OpenRoad Films  This is a preview of our pop culture newsletter The Daily Beasts Obsessed, written by senior entertainment reporter Kevin Fallon. To receive the full newsletter in your inbox each week, sign up for it here. This week:  The Real Housewives existential crisis. Death, taxes, and watching trash on Netflix. Cinema returns with Adam Drivers musical cunnilingus. I think you should watch I Think You Should Leave. Pfizer, Moderna, and, now, AstraTubbica. Your Love of Julia Roberts Wig Offends Me  The shit you all watch. The complete and utter nonsense. The lumpy chemical water at the bottom of a Porta-Potty. The green fuzz on the loaf of bread that you only noticed after you made and ate a sandwich. It will never stop bothering me, a person whose job is to tell you what is good and what is not, so that you do not waste your time and brain cells. And then to find out what youre watching instead. You might as well stab me in the heart. This is all to say that the Netflix Top 10 is the bane of my existence, mostly because of what it says about you all. You, the people who, apparently, have spent this last week watching, en masse, the 2016 star-studded abomination Mothers Daya film that, beyond being borderline unwatchable, features a wig worn by Julia Roberts that has been flagged by international courts as a crime against humanity. It has been in the Top 10 all week. I want to type that question a million times. Who is scrolling through Netflix, seeing the title card for this filmwhich is, again, about the holiday Mothers Day, which famously took place two months agoand thinking, Nows a good time to watch?  Sure, its arguably hypocritical of me to drag the unseasonal nature of its popularity. I have been known to, on occasion, be on a summer jog when Mariah Careys All I Want for Christmas Is You comes on my shuffle playlist, become a little bashful because its seasonally inappropriate, and then realize no one can hear whats blasting in my AirPods and go H.A.M. when the sleigh bells start. But that is pop excellence. Mothers Day is cinematic doo-doo. Story continues  The amount of time I spend staring at the Netflix Top 10 in disbelief is unhealthy. It will likely be the reason I leave this career. I started this newsletter entry with the goal of making sense of it. But its impossible. You have all broken me. I am a broken man, and the reason, as was always inevitable, is Julia Roberts Mothers Day wig. Adam Driver Sings Into a Vagina: Cinema! It has been more than two years since the Cannes Film Festival took place. The red carpet on the Croisette is arguably the most envy-inducing, classiest entertainment-industry affair. The brand, if I could peg it as an armchair observer whom the French would spit on should I ever denigrate their cinema soire by attending, is taste. They discovered it and gave it a 10-minute standing ovation. They saw it first and also gave it a 10-minute standing ovation. Being daring is as good as being good. Given all that, it absolutely fits that the film to herald the return of the Cannes Film Festivalof envy, of class, of cinema, of tastewas the Leos Carax head-scratcher Annette. I say this fits not because I have ever been to Cannes (again: garbage human) and therefore know what makes a suitable entry to their program, and not because I have actually seen the aforementioned film. I say this because I have read no less than 100 articles about itwhich you will, too, when you find outand cant stop laughing at a) its plot and b) critics so jazzed about being in France watching it that theyre waxing poetic on its ambition and audacity. Anyway, heres what I have learned about Annette: It is a musical (!) starring Adam Driver and Marion Cotillard (!!) during which at one point he belts out lyrics in between licks of a cunnilingus session (!!!). There is apparently a debate about how graphic and/or imperative that bit of information is, but I err on the side of: it cant be stressed enough. This is, apparently, not even the tip of the bizarro iceberg. As an Indiewire review says: Sure, theres also a wooden baby that sings and the occasional cutaway to a melancholic gorilla, but they all exist to support the larger cause. This was an endorsement. Afterward, the film was, as you would expect for something so strange, championed and panned in equal measure. I suspect that not a soul in America will ever see it, save for the tribe known as Film Twitter, who will likely never stop talking about it. In any case, it received a five-minute standing ovation at Cannes, during which Adam Driver apparently lit a cigarette. I Think You Should Leave Is So Good  The Netflix sketch show I Think You Should Leave is so brilliant. For one, it is perfectly titled. It is a show about the jerks and the peculiars, the people who are so committed to their irritating, inappropriate natureand so un-self-aware about itthat there is no other response than to say, I think you should leave. The episodes are also under 20 minutes each. An entire season that you can binge before Cruella even gets to its big plot twist. That new season came out this week, and its cool to obsess about how much you love it on Twitter and even cooler to be insufferable about how you dont think its that funny. For what its worth, there is a sketch about a person on a ghost tour who is just trying to play by the rules that I may think about for the rest of my life. And, on the topic of funny, there is a line reading of, Is that a hot dog in your sleeve? mixed with a physical-comedy sight gag (there is a hot dog in his sleeve) that made me laugh so hard I had to pause the episode. Enjoy. Tinky Winky Is Ready For #HotVaxSummer  The Teletubbies have been vaccinated. I just thought you should know that. What to watch this week:  The White Lotus: This summers contender for my favorite show of the year. (Sun. on HBO)  Jackass Shark Week Special: Whatever chaos youre imagining, its even more than that. (Sun. on Discovery)  Never Have I Ever: Teen comedies rarely feel this real and joyous. (Thurs. (Fri. in theaters and on Disney+)  American Horror Stories: As a nation, we must rally against this franchise. (Thurs. on Hulu)  Television, In General: There is a day next week when 39 TV shows premiere. Make it stop. Im tired. Read more at The Daily Beast. Get our top stories in your inbox every day. Sign up now! 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