Would my lover leave his wife if I had more of a career?
DEAR DEIDRE: I LOOK on my lovers wifes Facebook page and I feel nothing but hatred for her. I hate her for the smug way she looks at the camera and for what she puts my lover through and yet I can do nothing about it. 1 He loves me but he says he cant break up another marriage - this ones his third  Hes a lovely man who is 25 years older than me. Hes 55 and Im 30. Im single and I work in social care. I regularly visited my lovers mum which is how I got to know him. To my knowledge, his wife never visited her mother-in-law or took any interest in her  she sounds like a proper witch. My patient was a gracious lady and I was so fond of her. When she passed away her son was so upset we stood together and held one another for comfort. It was probably inappropriate but I felt we had a real connection. After the funeral, he called into the home with flowers for me and invited me for dinner. He picked me up for a meal and when he dropped me back at home, he kissed me. He sent me a text saying Id made him feel wonderful. I offered to cook him a meal the next night but we kissed as soon as he was through my door. We went to bed and had sex like I'd never had before. Weve been seeing one another for three years but I know it cant be more than it is. He loves me but he says he cant break up another marriage. This ones his third. We tried ending our affair during the pandemic. I dated others but it was hopeless. I love this man. He says his wife is controlling. They havent had sex in years but he knows she wont divorce him because she likes his money. I think if I had more of a career, hed be tempted to leave her but I dont feel Ive got anything to offer. DEIDRE SAYS: You need to start valuing yourself and others will follow suit. Youre low down on his list of priorities, but youre worth more than being his booty call. He says he doesnt have sex with his wife and shes controlling, but you only have his word for it. If things were that bad, hed leave this third marriage. My support pack called Your Lover Not Free explains more. This relationship is going to give you more lows than highs in the long term so be kind to yourself and end it for good. Youll feel better when you do. You deserve to find somebody wholl commit to you 100 per cent.