How Hard Is It to Find a Cheap Sofa in New York?
I did. When you moved in here, you said you were getting a sofa. It's just a sofa, if you need one so badly,  get it yourself. I'm broke, I took you in because you said you had a sofa. People say a lot of things  to get into an apartment, Abir,  I could have told you, for example,  that I had a full-time job  and then stayed home to do lines all day. But I am, in fact,  an active and contributing member of society, and I'm quiet. So you got very, very, very lucky  to have me as your roommate. All I'm saying is that it could have been worse. Now, if you'll excuse me,  I'm going to go watch porn with my headphones on  because I'm considerate like that. [groans] You can't just...  [Waterslides by PIXX]   Facing ways down waterslides    I try to cling on but I ride    Sometimes it's hard to tell    If I chose to slip or if I fell    It seems to just go on and on    Please let off    Been here too long    Is it me who made this place    I still don't know a single face   [ metal squeaking]  [wooden thumping]  Hello. Yes, I'm here for the sofa. You have a beautiful name. Thank you. Yeah. I knew it. [chuckles]  I'm Israeli. Cool. My name is Vin, my parents wanted something, you know,  international but I sound like Borat. Yeah, I used to watch a lot of American television, so. No. No, actually I'm just really here for the sofa,  and I'm kind of in a hurry,  so if you could just... Okay, okay, one moment. Thank you. Here you go, mazel tov. Somebody took the sofa an hour ago. Second one in line gets the trampoline. No, no, no, no, no, I came here for the sofa. Sorry, the sofa is taken. It was free. People love free stuff, you know. I feel like you're upset. I wrote in the ad, second one in line gets the trampoline. You should have read the fine print. It's Craigslist. They're both on the [indistinct] listing,  everything is super cheap. I'm giving you a free trampoline, excellent condition. Abir, we should go eat houmus sometimes. [feet stomping] It's hummus. [coughs] A dog hiker, big difference. I hike with dogs. I, it's for people who want their dogs  to see more than just the nearest park,  it's a full experience. Like yesterday we went to the Catskills. Next week, maybe we'll go to Maine. [chuckles]  Who knows. Wow, that's really unique. Yeah, it's, I love my job. I'm currently in between...  Aah, you're rebranding, huh. Oh, rebranding, I like that. Yeah, yeah. You know, you should get professional head shots taken. This is your side. Wow, that's really cool. Yeah. Hmm. [liquid sloshes]  We can, [chuckles] if that's what you want. That's fine, I'm kind of in a hurry anyway, so. All right, well, I'm not usually this kind of boy. [growls] Drinks are on me. Excuse me. Oh no, no, no,  I meant for the sofa. You're sofa, that's going to be mine soon. I thought you were being original, you know. Just like, not here for hookups,  hit me up if you have a spare sofa. It got my attention. But we chatted, you told me you had a sofa. I was flirting. I don't have a spare sofa. My uncle has a spare sofa. Oh, he lives in Florida. I can't believe this. I can't believe  you were actually looking for a sofa on Tinder. Oh yeah, well at least I was being honest. You're definitely not 5' 10. [metallic clatter]  [wooden thumping]  Rami, I know you're in there, I can see your shoes. Still leaving them outside,  you know someone can just grab them. Technically it's my sofa too, so. Abir, it's my sofa, I bought it. Yeah, but when you moved in you made me throw away my sofa  so it's only fair that I take it. I thought I'd find something else by now. With that logic, you should take my coffee table too. No, it's ugly. [grunts] Move. I'm not giving you the sofa. You're not giving it to me,  I'm taking it 'cause it's mine. [grunts] No! Rami stop! No way, you're being... Don't say it. Don't call me crazy. I never liked it. No. You said the color was... Never. What, no. [wooden thumping]  Hey. Hi mom. [speaking in foreign language]  I swear, I run faster. At least I get to see you. [speaking in foreign language]  Okay. [feet thumping]  [water whooshing]  [speaking in foreign language]  Mom. [speaking in foreign language]  [Mom sighs]  [speaking in foreign language]  [wooden creaking] [footsteps clicking]  [lips smacking]  [quiet wooden thumps]  [Abir sighs]  [Mom groans]  [Mom sighs]  [plastic clicking]  [paper rustling]  [speaking in foreign language]  [plastic rustling]  Mom, [speaking in foreign language]  [plastic click] [Abir sighs]  [Waterslides by PIXX]   Facing ways down waterslides    I try to cling on but I ride    Sometimes it's hard to tell    If I chose to slip or if I fell    It seems to just go on and on    Please let me off, been here too long    Is it me who made this place    I still don't know a single face   [woman moaning in background]  Karen, headphones. [Karen] Sorry.  Don't follow me into my dreams    You don't belong here    But if you try to sneak on in you might be stuck too    My heart, in two it might be crumbling now    But the last one I want to go with it is you    Now I'm walking 'round and 'round    Its like a maze I can't get out    Everyone is in a rush    to have some fun but times are tough    There must be something here for me    I'm terrified by what I see    When you catch me walking 'round    Please wake me up or else I'll drown 