Why Tho? Are partnered friends always a package deal?
This is the latest installment of The Oregonian/OregonLives advice column, Why Tho? by Lizzy Acker. Lizzys advice first appears in our weekly advice newsletter. Subscribe now. Dear Lizzy,  I am a single person and I am sick of having to treat my partnered friends like a package deal. And it seems like, if I do get to hang out with a friend in a relationship, all they want to talk about is their relationship. Its frankly boring and I miss my friends! No Couple Friends  Dear No Couple Friends,  Yeah, this sucks. Even for not single people, this sucks. Just because you are friends with someone doesnt mean you have to be friends with their partner, and the inverse is also true -- just because you are in a relationship with someone doesnt mean you are automatically friends with their friends. In fact, you can really like your partners friends or your friends partners and still not want to hang out with them all the time. For example, I have several good friends I have known since third and fourth grade. Hes heard it. Hes good. I think the only way to deal with this is with some honesty, patience and compromise. Start with the easy part -- tell your partnered friends that you would really like to schedule some time to hang, just the two of you. Be clear about that. I really miss you and want to spend some one-on-one time with you!  The next time, you can agree to hang out with their partner, if they really, really want you to. You are probably a great person, and your friends may want their partners to see they have cool friends. The harder part is friends who wont stop talking about their romantic relationship. I have been that person, and I apologize to all the people who had to hear me yammer on about something as uninteresting as a trainwreck of a 20s relationship. I think for those people, you have to be patient. I will tell you that now that I am in a nice, reasonable relationship and have been for some time, I rarely talk about it with my friends. But when your relationship is new and/or bad, it really is all-consuming. Give your pals some room to vent about this. Tell them they can text you whenever if they really need to get something off their chest, but then ask them if you could have a little non-relationship talk time as well. And if they really wont shut up, you might need to just limit your time with them to as much as you can stand. Just remember that this phase of the relationship will pass. And it may, someday, be you who wont stop talking about your relationship. Email her at lacker@oregonian.com. Subscribe below to get it delivered every week straight to your inbox.