Are Some Of These Traditional Wife TikToks Trolling Us?
This is an excerpt from Please Like Me , BuzzFeed News newsletter about how influencers are battling for your attention. You can sign up here . Over the last few months, and especially the last few weeks, TikToks algorithm has been feeding me more and more massively viral videos about wives showing how they take care of their husbands. Usually, my For You page is algorithmically curated with progressive content, so its notable that ber-conservative TikToks began floating onto my FYP because of their disproportionately high engagement. This TikTok from user @madfitmaddison, which got 3.5 million views in just one week, demonstrates how she prepares the day for her husband, whom she then wakes up. Maddison opens her TikTok by saying, Heres how I start my husbands day off right. She starts off by writing down three reasons why I love him, filling up his water bottle, making him a smoothie, pouring him a cup of aloe juice, and fixing him an iced coffee. She says she then cleans their house, puts on Christian music, and proceeds to wake her husband up with a little hand squeeze. To me, its husband-centering mothering is cringeworthy. These kinds of TikToks are personally concerning to me because I dont subscribe to these values, but I understand that some people do, both consensually and satisfyingly. Its also an extraordinarily ordinary video, so I was shocked it had millions of views. A lot of the views, IMO, were largely because of all its spoofs, like this one from user @nicolemmatt. Her video is hilarious. It transforms something earnest into something absurdist. But much of the initial reaction to Maddisons original TikTok, and what made it go so viral, wasnt creative satire. There were a slew of fairly judgmental comments. When I reached out, Maddison claimed a lot of messages she received were making fun of her inclusion of Christian music and calling her a servant to her husband. Shes since had to turn off her comments, but her video and audio track continue to be satirized. I shared this video hoping to inspire others to do kind things for their significant others, said Maddison, whos 23 and lives in Arizona. Everyone instantly assumed I was doing these things because Im a servant to my husband. I am not a servant and never will be. We both help each other equally because we love each other.  I dont want to get into a debate on gender roles and patriarchy, as relevant as they are here and as critical as I am about them. (I think from a history of my writing and assertions here you can probably accurately deduce how I feel about these issues.) But I also know that where someone is in her own journey of interpreting systems of oppression, and possibly dismantling them and promoting empowerment, differs from woman to woman. So if Maddison is cool with it, well leave this here. What Im a little more interested in is how this genre has become a strategic growth hack on the app, whether its intentional or not. It seems like Maddisons TikTok was not a troll, but I suspect others are meant to incite division and a bit of controversy. Take the super popular account @cheesedaily, which has 3.3 million followers. Their videos mostly show meal prepping with very curious commentary about their husband. The videos are sometimes so beyond belief I am almost convinced its straight satire. While I was on my knees this morning tying my husbands shoes before work, he says he received an electricity bill and it was extremely high, and he wants the children and I to start using candles for lighting, they say in one video. While my husband has been away with his mistress, Ive been living life to the fullest, they say in another.