# What can we learn from the clothes we buy but never wear?

I’ve set myself a project to wear the neglected items in my wardrobe – from a crimson silk skirt to a mustard coat.

I’ve set myself a project to wear the neglected items in my wardrobe – from a crimson silk skirt to a mustard coat.

Like lots of us, I hate seeing stuff go to waste. I go to unnecessary lengths to make dinners using up whatever is in the fridge. I tell myself this is because it is healthier and more sustainable than takeout, but it’s also a kind of mental game to me, to use everything up. Odds and ends in the salad drawer unsettle me, like missing pieces in a jigsaw puzzle, and I have to find a place for them. Even if I suspect no one is going to be hounding me for my celery and beetroot risotto recipe, I find these dishes strangely satisfying.

The key to finding your way back to clothes you feel disconnected from is to try to relocate the spark that drew you to them in the first place.

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This helped me with the yellow dress, because I realised that what it represented to me was getting dressed up – unnecessarily dressed up – for the kind of little outings I might do during the day at the weekend that could perfectly well be done in jeans and a jumper but would feel more of an occasion if dressed up for. I’m trying this, and you know what? That lady in the changing room, she was on to something. There is something oddly life-affirming about wearing a fancy pastel dress to go out and buy tomatoes.

Sometimes what you figure out is simply that you made a mistake. This is useful to know, because once you’ve faced that fact, you can stick it on the charity pile and move on. (Note to self: never, ever buy anything in an airport. Always a mistake, usually an expensive one.) But often, what the clothes you buy but don’t wear teach you is that over time your taste has changed, and your retail instincts haven’t quite caught up. You still reach automatically for pieces that feel as if they belong to someone familiar – but that person isn’t the current version of you. If this is happening, you need to bring your retail instincts up to date.

What this looks like for me is that as I get older I wear colour a lot less, but the magpie in me is still drawn to colourful clothes. I am going to be mindful of not shopping for the person I was 15 years ago. But in the meantime, I am interrogating my slide into beige and working on getting back in touch with my inner rainbow dresser.

At the very least, there is wisdom to be gleaned from the clothes that feel like mistakes. As the saying goes: sometimes you win, and sometimes you learn. Oh, and guess what I’m wearing today?

_Model: Alejandra at Mrs Robinson. Hair and makeup: Sophie Higginson using Living Proof and Laura Mercier. Coat, £250, . Dress, £29.99, . Earrings, £190, _

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