# The fruit of flattery is tariffs, but Trump-wrangler Starmer takes it on the chin

Well, that went well, didn’t it? Weeks of finding ever more ingenious ways to flatter the US president. Extolling the brilliance of  being able to tie his own shoelaces. “That’s incredible, Mr President. No one has ever managed to do that so beautifully.” No chance for flattery has been passed up. It is now the sign of the highest IQ not to be able to speak in joined-up sentences. To change your mind at a moment’s notice. Yet at all times, Keir Starmer has remained a paragon of obsequiousness. Not a word out of place.

And what do we get for it? The occasional hint of recognition from the Donald. Which we cling to. Attempting to find meaning in something essentially meaningless. Something that came with little thought. And now we also are landed with 25% tariffs on steel and aluminium. A reward for obeisance. That’s the thing with Trump. He gets angry if he’s disrespected but has nothing but contempt for those who humour him. He’s a complicated proposition.

We are where we are. The special relationship is being redefined. We are now locked in a trade war with our closest ally. Even rightwing economists are struggling to make sense of this. Our response? To keep our head down. To sound tough by saying  when our Pavlovian response is to do nothing. To take it on the chin. Hope it will go away of its own accord as casually as it was introduced. Which indeed it might. Trump is nothing if not inconsistent.

But it’s come to something when doing nothing and continuing to pander to the president’s ego is seen as an act of diplomatic genius. For it is looking more and more as if Starmer has played a blinder on the international stage as he navigates his way through the Washington swamp.

## Art of a deal: how UK and France led dogged effort to repair US-Ukraine ties – for now



He is up there vying with Emmanuel Macron in the race to lead the European resistance – Starmer got his Zoom invitations for the weekend’s summit out early – and even his fiercest critics at home haven’t got a bad word to say about his efforts. There is a universal recognition that Trump-wrangling is an acquired art and that Keir is better than most at it.

Even so, you’d have thought there would be some interest in discussing the tariffs imposed overnight. For their novelty value if nothing else. But at prime minister’s questions there was almost an omertà.  had nothing to say.

The only person to mention tariffs was Ed Davey and he sounded almost apologetic for doing so. Keir just gave the non-answer of “all options on the table” and then everyone could go back to ignoring them again. They all might wake up the next day and find it had all been a bad dream. Just fly beneath the radar. We live in strange times in which everyone thinks this is not just normal but a stroke of genius.

All of which might help to explain why PMQs is no longer quite the draw it used to be. The  benches are still full – there’s plenty of MPs to go round and they aren’t shy of currying favour with a friendly question – but as the weeks go by there are larger and larger gaps on the opposition benches. Tory MPs have long since given up on Kemi and can no longer be bothered to offer their support.

Those MPs who had dragged themselves to the chamber seem mostly preoccupied with the ongoing battle between the comedy legends  and Rupert Lowe. Fair to say that when so much of the news is depressing, the falling out between the People’s Front of Reform and the Reform People’s Front has given Westminster a much-needed tonic. In the battle of the narcissists, the fight goes on between being covertly or overtly racist as Nige and Rupert trade insults over “Pakistani rape gangs”. It’s niche entertainment. But beggars can’t be choosers.

Disappointingly, even though Nige and Lee Anderson made a point of showing up with Jim McMurdock, there was no sign of Rupert. Presumably he isn’t at all sure where he wants to sit. His natural habitat – the bench reserved for those independents who have fallen out with their leadership – is all taken up with disgruntled Corbynistas and Muslims. Neither of whom are Lowe’s preferred bedfellows.



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