# Spreadeagled cats and gladiatorial warfare: everything I learned testing mattresses

I once noted here that testing  is like . Testing mattresses is more like weight-lifting hippos. Manoeuvring these floppy giants around a small house would be hard enough for a normal person, but as a 53-year-old woman who never reached five feet tall, I wouldn’t be anyone’s first pick for a mattress-lifting team.

The Filter’s invitation to involve my extended family in  the  delighted me because it meant they could do the lifting. They joined my husband, Alan, and our cat, Iggy, who favoured the  for radiator-adjacent spread-eagling and the  for claw sharpening.





The filter’s invitation to involve my extended family in testing the best mattresses delighted me because it meant they could do the lifting. They joined my husband, Alan, and our cat, Iggy, who favoured the  for radiator-adjacent spread-eagling and the  for claw sharpening.





What I really wanted from them was detailed feedback on how well they slept, although I worried that even the richest grumbling would be too subjective to be useful. I was reassured by a chat with sleep expert Kevin Morgan, emeritus professor of psychology at Loughborough University. “Asking people, ‘How would you rate the quality of your sleep last night?’ using a 10-point scale is standard practice in research,” he told me. “Insomnia is diagnosed exclusively on subjective experience of sleep.”

Even so, I ran some lab-style tests for a more objective comparison. Careful use of Alan’s bottom and other kit to , such as sinkage and motion isolation, delivered some surprising and messy results. The budget  romped to glory in the heat-retention test, which required Alan to sit on a pre-heated spot (for ages while reading Moby-Dick, which did not help the time pass any faster). It bombed in the motion-isolation test, however, bouncing enough to topple a glass of water as Alan turned over.

Alas, poor Valevåg. Claw marks, spillage, dirt and a student flat. Despite this onslaught (and after a good clean), it made its way to a gentler home via a local charity, but it took some persuading. Donating mattresses, even nearly new ones, is a hit-and-miss affair because they have to be pristine. For my next batch of mattress tests, I will invest heavily in cat-proof mattress protectors.

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